


notbarryallen changed steel’s name to gayforray

by doctormissy



Series: the eyes emoji squad [1]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012), DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), DCU, Gotham (TV), Lucifer (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Supergirl (TV 2015), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Chatlogs, Crack, DC/Marvel crossover, Demons, Drinking, Endgame Fix-It, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, Feels, Fix-It, Flirting, Fluff, Food, Gossip, Holidays, Humor, Kinda, LGBTQ Themes, Legends of Tomorrow Team are Family, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Light Angst, M/M, Marvel 616/MCU Crossover, Multi, Non-Graphic Smut, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Partying, Polyamory, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), References to Canon, Season/Series 04, Some Plot, Texting, Time Travel, Timeline changes, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, because legends, bruce wayne is mentioned a lot, charlie is non-binary, curtis works at time bureau, everyone is kinda poly, idk what i'm doing anymore, meta af, note that they are mutually fictional, pop culture references, so y'know it's fun, stephen and nora are wizard buddies, the crossover starts in ch 153, the fix-it itself is ch 159, there are more arrowverse characters those are just the important ones, there are written interludes too so it's not pure chat
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2019-06-20 06:00:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 160
Words: 206,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15527685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctormissy/pseuds/doctormissy
Summary: monalisa:and you just ruined the mooddarhkling:mooddarhkling:but there was no mood to begin withmonalisa:feelings moodLancelot:Stop saying moodOr, in other words, Ray creates a Legends group chat and it gets out of his hands a bit (and mine too). It now has some sort of an actual plot. And Marvel characters, because these idiots decide to hop between universes and fix Endgame.





	1. why

**Author's Note:**

> hey! i know this was probably done before but i couldn't resist, i'm a sucker for chatfics (if you haven't done it already, i recommend reading [i just wanna have fun and (get rowdy)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12083541/chapters/27383598) by [pettigrace](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pettigrace/pseuds/pettigrace)). 
> 
> let's get a few things clear: a) i love nora darhk, b) none of the current legends are straight, c) i said so in the tags but there are some "non-text" parts, too, d) don't ask me about the science behind ray's app, e) this is season 4 compliant (but not really)
> 
> i hope you enjoy and maybe even laugh a bit :)

**2018/07/22**

 

 **TheAtom** _added_ **Heatwave** , **Steel** , **KidFlash** , **WhiteCanary** , **Constantine** , **ZTomaz** , _and_ **AvaSharpe** _to_ **The Waverider Group Chat**

 

 **TheAtom:** Hey, guys!

 **Heatwave:** why

 **TheAtom:** I was bored, and I thought, why not make a group chat where we could all talk? It’s connected to the temporal matrix of the Waverider and Gideon, independent on any sort of mobile network or internet connection, which means…

 **Steel:** we can communicate across time like Martin did with Lily!

 **TheAtom:** Yes, exactly!

 **TheAtom:** But only if the Waverider’s there, so not quite like Martin and Lily…

 **TheAtom:** I’ll have you know I’ve been working on this for quite a while.

 **Heatwave:** again, why

 **TheAtom:** Oh, I don’t know, Mick, we might need something from one another, and there will be no signal, so we won’t be able to text each other, but guess what, we’ll have this!

 **KidFlash:** might be fun

 **KidFlash:** also hey guys!

 **Steel:** Wally, my friend, how’s it going?

 **KidFlash:** oh you know, just playing games with zari

 **KidFlash:** and kicking her ass as ever lol

 **ZTomaz:** yeah, like it’s fair, with your super speed and all

 **TheAtom:** Wally, are you cheating???

 **KidFlash:** no nothing of the sort I’m a natural talent

 **ZTomaz:** btw, I think this is a fantastic idea, Ray

 **KidFlash:** sarcasm?

 **ZTomaz:** obviously

 **ZTomaz:** can we maybe change our names?

 **ZTomaz:** never mind I figured it out

 

 **ZTomaz** _changed their name to_ **ZariIsTheBest**

 **KidFlash** _changed their name to_ **notbarryallen**

 

 **TheAtom:** But they were the perfect usernames!

 **ZariIsTheBest:** well _someone_ here doesn’t have a superhero name

 **Constantine:** What in the bloody hell is this obscenity?

 **TheAtom:** The Legends chat!

 **Constantine:** Why

 **Heatwave:** I said the same thing

 **AvaSharpe** **:** Wait, since when do you have a phone?

 **Constantine:** Ah, hello, pet

 **Gary:** I may have obtained one for him

 **AvaSharpe** **:** What are you even doing here, Gary?

 **Heatwave:** yeah no one invited you time pig

 **Gary:** It’s not so hard to find your way in here if you have the right tech, I mean, I beg your pardon, but as an intern legend I thought I should see what’s going on

 **WhiteCanary:** You’re not an “intern legend”, Gary, we’ve talked about it

 **ZariIsTheBest:** so is no one gonna mention the fact Gary and John are clearly sleeping together

 **ZariIsTheBest:** he’s on the Waverider, that’s how he got access

 **ZariIsTheBest:** and obviously that’s the reason Gary bought John a phone

 **ZariIsTheBest:** just saying

 **notbarryallen:** wait, what

 **AvaSharpe** **:** Gary, is that true?

 **Constantine:** Always with the annoying questions, this one

 **AvaSharpe:** I wasn’t talking to you.

 **Heatwave:** I need a beer

 **notbarryallen:** that makes two of us

 **Gary:** Uhhhhhhhh yes it may be true

 **AvaSharpe:** Constantine, I’m warning you. If you do as much as look at him wrong, I promise you I will kill you.

 **AvaSharpe:** As for you, Gary, I need you in my office. Right now.

 **Gary:** Right now? I kind of… can’t. Gimme a minute

 **Constantine:** He’s naked ;)

 **AvaSharpe:** I did _not_ need to know that. Shut up, Constantine. Gary, get your ass here.

 **Steel:** I bet Sara likes it when Ava gives orders ;)

 **WhiteCanary:** You do know I can read this, don’t you, Nate?

 **Steel:** sorry, captain

 **Steel:** ~~but not sorry~~

 **TheAtom:** I must admit, this turned into rather unexpected directions.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** honestly, Ray, could you expect anything else from this crew??

 **TheAtom:** I guess you’re right, LOL.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** please don’t do that

 **TheAtom:** Do what?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** use “lol”

 **ZariIsTheBest:** no one really does that anymore

 **TheAtom:** Well, if someone’s from the future. We still use it here in 2018.

 **Steel:** um no we don’t

 **notbarryallen:** speak 4 urself, old man, clearly u don’t kno the internet

 **notbarryallen:** we still use it ironically, like, no one means it, but it’s there, so shut up

 **notbarryallen:** though Ray probably means it

 **notbarryallen:** lol

 **TheAtom:** Haha, very funny. But thanks for backing me up, man.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** guys, I was born in 2016, so I know for a fact it’s almost over

 **ZariIsTheBest:** it’s history for me

 **Steel:** that’s what I’m talking about, bring it girl

 **Steel:** wait if you were born in 2016 that means there’s a cute lil baby Zari out there somewhere, can we visit

 **ZariIsTheBest:** don’t you dare say another word, Heywood

 **WhiteCanary:** Can we agree on no internet abbreviations of any kind and no meeting our younger versions, so we’re all happy

 **TheAtom:** Roger that, captain.

 **notbarryallen:** not fair

 **WhiteCanary:** You can go and clean up the kitchen if you don’t like it, Wally

 **notbarryallen:** not a problem

 **notbarryallen:** but still not fair

 **notbarryallen:** done

 **notbarryallen:** that was a lot of dishes

 **WhiteCanary:** Well, it’s Mick’s duty today

 **notbarryallen:** obviously

 **Heatwave:** I was gonna do it after second lunch

 **WhiteCanary:** No, you weren’t

 **Heatwave:** fair point

 

 **notbarryallen** _changed_ **Heatwave’s** _name to_ **grunt**

 

 **notbarryallen:** he literally just grunted and glowered at me so I thought

 **TheAtom:** He does that a lot, our Mick.

 

 **notbarryallen** _changed_ **TheAtom’s** _name to_ **rayofsunshine**

 

 **rayofsunshine** **:** I like that!

 **rayofsunshine** **:** Because, you know, Ray is my name. It’s clever!

 

 **notbarryallen** _changed_ **Steel’s** _name to_ **gayforray**

 

 **gayforray** **:** hey, change it back, bro

 **gayforray** **:** that’s no way what I am, no, not at all

 **gayforray** **:** I am _not_ gay

 **grunt:** sure

 **gayforray:** what was that, Mick?

 **grunt:** you and haircut make me sick sometimes

 **WhiteCanary:** We’ve all been there, Nate

 **WhiteCanary:** I mean, you two _would_ make such an adorable couple

 **grunt:** what, me and pretty? no way

 **grunt:** not my type

 **WhiteCanary:** No, Mick, I meant Nate and Ray

 **gayforray** **:** wait, Mick, you’re into guys???

 **grunt:** I like chicks more but yeah

 **grunt:** but I don’t see how that’s your fricking business

 **rayofsunshine** **:** Okay, that’s definitely an interesting piece of information.

 **grunt:** why am I even talking to you idiots

 **grunt:** I need another beer

 **rayofsunshine** **:** Hey, why don’t we all share one thing the others don’t know about us yet?

 **rayofsunshine** **:** I’ll start: as a kid, I got sick because I ate way too much of Gran’s plum pie and had to stay in the hospital for two days, twice! It was a horrible experience, but it was the only dessert I ever ate, and it was unbelievably good, so it was totally worth it anyway.

 **gayforray** **:** I did actually know that

 **gayforray:** did you know I’ve never failed any test or exam, like ever

 **rayofsunshine:** I did!

 **rayofsunshine:** And me neither!

 **notbarryallen:** see what I meant

 **WhiteCanary:** Absolutely

 **WhiteCanary:** And I’m not playing this stupid game

 **ZariIsTheBest:** on my 21st birthday, I secretly sneaked out of the house at night, went to a bar and ordered a flavored beer

 **grunt:** flavored beer is gross why would you do that

 **ZariIsTheBest:** the point is that drinking is forbidden in my religion, Mick. it was less about the beer and more about the rebellion

 **ZariIsTheBest:** it was the only time I broke the rules and it was actually a really great night

 **grunt:** your religion is weird, why would anyone forbid drinking

 **ZariIsTheBest:** why does anyone do anything, is the question

 **Constantine:** You don’t know plenty about me but for starters I lost my virginity to a girl who’s now a nun in Mexico

 **ZariIsTheBest:** wow, John

 **gayforray:** did that experience make her wanna become a nun

 **Constantine:** Wouldn’t you like to know

 

 **ZariIsTheBest** _changed_ **WhiteCanary’s** _name to_ **Lancelot**

 **ZariIsTheBest** _changed_ **AvaSharpe’s** _name to_ **MissTimeBureau**

 **ZariIsTheBest** _changed_ **Constantine’s** _name to_ **Trenchcoat**

 **ZariIsTheBest** _changed_ **Gary’s** _name to_ **AgentGeek**

 

 **ZariIsTheBest:** there you go, all set

 **Lancelot:** Nice one, Zari

 **Trenchcoat:** I don’t like this name, or you lot

 **Lancelot:** Just Gary, am I right?

 **Lancelot:** And your trenchcoat, which you never put down, so it’s only fitting

 **Trenchcoat:** And you too, love

 **MissTimeBureau:** Stop right there.

 **Trenchcoat:** Jealous again, pet?

 **MissTimeBureau:** She’s mine.

 **MissTimeBureau:** But, as much as it pains me, I have to agree with you, I don’t like this nickname.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** tough luck, they’re staying

 **MissTimeBureau:** You know I could just change it myself, right?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you could, but something tells me you won’t, director Sharpe

 **MissTimeBureau:** And what is that, Miss Tomaz?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Gideon found multiple reports on a sphinx terrorizing the first Olympic games in ancient Greece

 **Lancelot:** That’s our cue, team, we gotta go and save a bunch of naked, oiled athletes from being eaten before the Games are erased from history!

 **grunt:** that’s kinda hot

 **gayforray:** wait, is someone gonna go undercover as a sportsman, let’s say, a beautiful hero with perfect hair, body and knowledge of history? and the ability to turn his skin into steel?

 **Lancelot:** If you leave your phone alone for a minute and actually come to the control room, I might actually tell you

 **Lancelot:** That applies to the rest of you children too


	2. [interlude] hydra

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the first interlude, it precedes the next chapter

There was a Hydra on the shores of seventeenth-century Barcelona. You might think, typical Legends business these days, right?

Right. However, there was one tiny detail most mythology books forgot to mention: it was five metres tall, and it had a _terrible_ breath.

That was a side effect of having nine heads, Ray figured.

Yes, nine heads, because some brave knights were too brave to think reasonably; they just had to dream about vanquishing the enormous creature and being rewarded with glory.

Oh, and there was one more tiny detail he’d left out: the Hydra had ripped those knights to pieces and eaten them, and was threatening to eat a bunch of unfortunate English sailors now, hence the Legends’ immediate interference.

Now, if Constantine isn’t going to hurry up and send it back to wherever it belonged, Ray was about to suffer the same fate, because he was the distraction.

Needless to say, things weren’t looking very bright right now.

‘Nate, I’m going to die,’ he screamed, blasters ready to fire at will. ‘If I could just shrink it like I suggested, this would be really easy, but no, the universe can’t have a shrunken Hydra, so instead, I’m going to die. We’re going to die.’

Nate ran to his side. ‘I won’t let that happen,’ he shouted over the roaring Hydra, ‘and besides, you’d be the only one to die, I’d just give it a toothache and it would spit me out.’

Ray thought it would be impossible to laugh in such a situation, but he still had to laugh. Nate had that effect on him.

He shook his head, looking at the creature, calculating. It was too big. And approaching. ‘I can’t do it.’

Nate looked him in the eye. ‘Yes, you can, buddy. I’ll hold your hand if it helps.’ He offered a hand and wagged his fingers in invitation.

With a sigh, Ray took it. ‘Yeah, okay. Thanks, bro.’

‘Let’s do it.’ Nate steeled up.

Ray looked ahead, into the Hydra’s many yellow eyes. It was dangerously close to the English boat, and to them. His heart beat fast.

‘Hey, Mr Hydra, or Mrs Hydra or whatever you are,’ he shouted on the top of his lungs, ‘we’re here! Don’t mind them!’

‘We’re a much better snack than they are!’ added Nate.

To emphasise his point, Ray started waving with his one free hand, and Nate followed suit. Three heads focused on them.

Nate mumbled under his breath, ‘where’s Amaya now when you need her.’

Ray had to agree.

‘John, now would be a good time,’ Ray said into his comm when one of the heads opened its mouth and bared its large, sharp teeth. It was ready to snap either of them in half, powers or no powers.

Ray fired a blast right into its throat. It only made the Hydra angrier.

When Ray’s life flashed before his eyes, a yellow, glowing portal opened underneath the giant serpent and swallowed it whole.

Ray sighed in relief. He didn’t let Nate’s hand go. Excitement bubbled in his stomach.

He turned to Nate, face hovering close to his. ‘We didn’t die!’

‘Told you,’ he said, leaning closer. He enveloped Ray in a tight hug. Steel turned back to flesh.

They stayed like this, breathing deeply until Constantine approached them with a sarcastic remark on his tongue and Zari cooed at them for being too cute on the comm.

They pulled apart, glowered at nothing in particular, and returned to the Waverider, residual adrenaline and a bit of childish excitement coursing through their veins.


	3. i hate y'all

**2018/07/27**

 

 **ZariIsTheBest** _changed the group’s name to_ **Let’s Get Nate and Ray to Bone 2K18**

 

 **notbarryallen:** I’m in

 **ZariIsTheBest:** honestly those two

 **ZariIsTheBest:** did you _see_ them today

 **notbarryallen:** oh yeah

 **notbarryallen:** it was all “nate, I’m going to die”

 **notbarryallen:** “I won’t let that happen”

 **notbarryallen:** “I’ll hold your hand if it helps”

 **notbarryallen:** “sure”

 **notbarryallen:** “bro”

 **Lancelot:** Shh but I’m kinda living for this

 **ZariIsTheBest:** see, even the captain ships them

 **notbarryallen:** high five

 **Lancelot:** You’re literally in the same room, why are you texting?

 **notbarryallen:** it’s fun

 **ZariIsTheBest:** and we’re all on the same ship to begin with so who cares

 **notbarryallen:** speaking of ships, where are those two?? I’d have thought they’d say sth by now

 **grunt:** I bet they’re somewhere off fucking

 **ZariIsTheBest:** no, they’re not, Mick, that’s kind of the point

 **notbarryallen:** wait, are you sure, mick

 **notbarryallen:** sorry haha

 **grunt:** went to the library together

 **Lancelot:** Interesting

 **Lancelot:** Let’s ask Gideon

 **rayofsunshine:** Hey, what’s going on here? Why did you change the chat name?

 **rayofsunshine:** And why do you conspire against me, behind my back? That’s basically treason, not to mention Dr. Heywood and I are friends.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** sure, you’re not bickering like a married couple and giving each other sickening puppy eyes at all

 **rayofsunshine:** What’s that supposed to mean?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** nothing, never mind me

 **notbarryallen:** are you sure about the whole friends thing though

 **notbarryallen:** you’re obviously soooo into each other

 **rayofsunshine:** No, we’re not, that’s nonsense. I’ve only ever dated women, and so did Nate.

 **notbarryallen:** you sure about that? bc I’ve known him for longer than you do

 **rayofsunshine:** Really?

 **rayofsunshine:** I mean, that’s fine, of course, I’m not judging or anything.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** who’s even straight here, to be honest

 **ZariIsTheBest:** not me

 **Lancelot:** I never knew you were into girls, Zari! That’s great!

 **ZariIsTheBest:** well, it’s not like you and I have an exemplary relationship and tell each other things, but yeah, I’m actually an ace lesbian

 **notbarryallen:** we know sara and john are bi and same about mick and gary I assume

 **notbarryallen:** and ava’s also a lesbian

 **notbarryallen:** I’m demi

 **notbarryallen:** and I’ve seen nate buy a dude a drink at least once

 **notbarryallen:** so let’s face it, ray

 **Lancelot:** And we’ve all seen him flirt with that Greek guy at the Olympics

 **ZariIsTheBest:** damn, what was his name??

 **Lancelot:** If I didn’t have a girlfriend I’d say he was _very_ hot

 **notbarryallen:** menides or sth like that

 **ZariIsTheBest:** yeah, that’s it

 **MissTimeBureau:** But you said it, Lance. I saw it.

 **Lancelot:** Don’t worry, Sharpe, I love you very much, and I’ll make it up to you ;)

 **MissTimeBureau:** Want me to come to the ship?

 **Lancelot:** Well, if you’re not busy, I’d love that

 **MissTimeBureau:** I suppose this paperwork can wait until tomorrow.

 **Lancelot:** Great ;)

 **grunt:** ugh stop flirting you two

 **gayforray:** why is Sara the only one who’s getting any, that’s not fair

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you know, for a genius and a superhero you’re really quite dumb sometimes

 **gayforray:** wait, what did I miss

 **ZariIsTheBest:** oh, nothing at all

 **notbarryallen:** hey nate why don’t you ask ray if he wants to netflix & chill

 **notbarryallen:** if you wanna get some so bad

 **gayforray:** for the last time, I’m not actually gay

 **ZariIsTheBest:** no?? and what about Menides, you were buddying over sports?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I’m a lesbian, not blind, that guy was hot and you’d be stripping him with your eyes if he weren’t already naked

 **gayforray:** wait, you saw that???

 **ZariIsTheBest:** it’s not something you forget…

 **gayforray:** I hate y’all

 **rayofsunshine:** Do you wanna come over and marathon Doctor Who?

 **gayforray:** yeah, sure, thanks, man

 **rayofsunshine:** I’ll fabricate us some popcorn!

 **gayforray:** great <3

**notbarryallen: 👀**

**ZariIsTheBest: 👀**

**Lancelot:** Seriously, guys, even a blind man could see that

 **Trenchcoat:** That was quick

 **Lancelot:** Shut up, Constantine

 **notbarryallen:** look who’s showed up

 **Lancelot:** Are you just reading the messages without actually saying something?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** the guy’s creepy, haven’t you figured that out yet?

 **Trenchcoat:** I beg your pardon, love, I’m not “creepy”

 **Trenchcoat:** Just mysterious

 **ZariIsTheBest:** okay, say what you will

 **ZariIsTheBest:** honestly, I don’t know what Gary sees in you

 **Trenchcoat:** I’ll have you know, I’m a very charming man and I’ve found my way into many lonely hearts

 **AgentGeek:** He’s surprisingly good at D&D and really cool when it comes to actual magic and exorcisms

 **AgentGeek:** Also really hot

 **AgentGeek:** That accent

 **AgentGeek:** Ok I’ll shut up now

 **ZariIsTheBest:** ohh, Constantine’s an actual warlock, I get it now

 **AgentGeek:** Get what?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** nothing, Gary, go play with your toys

 **Trenchcoat:** Wanna play with my toy, love ;)

 **AgentGeek:** Hnkfcmdj

 **AgentGeek:** You on the Waverider

 **Trenchcoat:** Definitely ready to ride something

 **AgentGeek:** Omg

 **AgentGeek:** Wow

 **AgentGeek:** I’m on my way ;))

 **ZariIsTheBest:** ahem

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you know there’s this thing called private messaging

 **AgentGeek:** Lksnfdsshnnn

 **Lancelot:** I think you broke Gary

 **Trenchcoat:** I’m afraid that’s all me, Sara ;)))

 **Lancelot:** Okay, no more winking smileys, please

 **Lancelot:** Yes, I know I used it first, but please, respect your captain on this

 **notbarryallen:** mood

 **ZariIsTheBest:** anyhow, have you noticed that Nate and Ray don’t talk to us anymore

 **ZariIsTheBest:** anything might be happening behind those closed doors

 **gayforray:** nothing’s happening, why are you like this

 **rayofsunshine:** Yeah, can’t you leave a man alone? We’re watching Doctor Who.

 **gayforray:** and really can you change my name

 **ZariIsTheBest:** not until you talk about it

 **gayforray:** for fuck’s sake, there’s nothing to talk about

 **Lancelot:** Do you want me to tie you to a chair?

 **Lancelot:** Really tight

 **rayofsunshine:** Et tu, Sara?

 **grunt:** I say get them real drunk and see what happens

 **ZariIsTheBest:** who are you and what have you done to Mick, because I might just love you

 **rayofsunshine:** Mick, you traitor, I thought you were my friend.

 **grunt:** I’m no ones friend, haircut

 **ZariIsTheBest:** that’s cute but also a lie, you know you love us, Mick

 **grunt:** whatever I’m getting some donuts

 **gayforray:** can you bring us some too?

 **grunt:** get your own

 **notbarryallen:** I can bring donuts

 **notbarryallen:** I’m living for this

 **notbarryallen:** #OperationSteelAtom2K18

 **rayofsunshine:** That’s it, I won’t help you with anything, ever again.

 **notbarryallen:** I think we both know that won’t last

 **Lancelot:** We all know it’s real when he gets offended


	4. oh boy, that's gonna be wild

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's another chapter! things are going down in this one *smirk emoji*

**2018/07/31**

 

 **ZariIsTheBest:** whoever’s listening to very loud kpop, please turn it down, I need to concentrate on engine maintenance

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I can hear it all the way down here

 **notbarryallen:** oh sorry girl that would be me

 **notbarryallen:** I totally forgot I wasn’t the only one who got stuck on the ship when everyone else’s enjoying a lil trip to medieval prague

 **ZariIsTheBest:** thanks, Wally

 **notbarryallen:** so, any updates on our favorite couple 😏

 **ZariIsTheBest:** still nothing as far as I know

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I’m beginning to think Mick’s idea wasn’t so bad

 **notbarryallen:** ohh I know what they need

 **notbarryallen:** cisco’s super juice

 **ZariIsTheBest:** that thing that can get a speedster drunk?

 **notbarryallen:** yeah, that one

 **ZariIsTheBest:** oh boy, that’s gonna be wild

 **notbarryallen:** I know

 **notbarryallen:** rip had a sip when he visited me in china and man was he wasted :p

 **notbarryallen:** I kinda miss him tbh

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I didn’t know him that well but he seemed like a nice guy

 **notbarryallen:** he was, even if the others said he was an asshole sometimes

 **ZariIsTheBest:** okay I really need to do the maintenance now or I don’t guarantee a safe return

 **notbarryallen:** yeah I’ll leave you to it

 **notbarryallen:** anyone else around?

 **AgentGeek:** I’m not particularly busy atm

 **MissTimeBureau:** Is that so, Gary? I remember telling you to take the memory-wiper and go help the Legends in Prague.

 **AgentGeek:** I did, director, where do you think I am right now?

 **MissTimeBureau:** All right, carry on.

 **AgentGeek:** Yes, director

 **AgentGeek:** You were saying, Wally?

 **notbarryallen:** nevermind I’m playing miss pac man now

 **Lancelot:** Hands down, team, we put the demon back where it belongs and now we’re coming back

 **Trenchcoat:** Nasty piece of business, that one

 **Lancelot:** Is everything in order, Zari?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** yeah, almost there, captain

 **Lancelot:** Great

 **Lancelot:** Got a bottle of fine wine from the king before we wiped his memory, wanna celebrate, Sharpe <3

 **MissTimeBureau:** You know it, Lance <3

 **rayofsunshine:** So you’re doing hearts now? That’s cute.

 **Lancelot:** How about you and Nate, you there yet?

 **rayofsunshine:** Don’t you think it’s getting a little old?

 **Lancelot** **:** Nah, not really

 **ZariIsTheBest:** …now you’re the ones texting when next to each other

 **Lancelot:** Okay, that’s fair

 **Lancelot:** Does this mean you’re done?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** everything’s pitch-perfect, cap *salute*

 **ZariIsTheBest:** see what you’ve done, Ray? thanks to you the team is unable to communicate like normal human beings now

 **rayofsunshine:** I apologize, that definitely wasn’t my intention…

 **grunt:** can I have the wine too

 **rayofsunshine:** I didn’t know you were a wine guy, Mick.

 **grunt:** I drink everything with alcohol

 **Lancelot:** And no Mick, you can’t. Have Gideon make some if you want, but this bottle is for mine and Ava’s use only

 **Lancelot:** And maybe John’s because he exorcized that demon, I think he earned it

 **Trenchcoat:** Why thanks love

 **Lancelot:** I said maybe

 **Lancelot:** Okay come over here

 **Trenchcoat:** Ta

 **AgentGeek:** Can I come too?

 **MissTimeBureau:** No, Gary.

 **MissTimeBureau:** You’re going to come anyway, aren’t you?

 **AgentGeek:** Probably

 **Trenchcoat:** He’s with me

 **MissTimeBureau:** Okay, fine.

 **Lancelot:** You say that quite often

 **Lancelot:** Are you like a package deal now?

 **Trenchcoat:** Oh I wouldn’t go so far

 **AgentGeek:** Yes

 **notbarryallen:** lol

 **Lancelot:** I thought we agreed not to use that one, Wally

 **notbarryallen:** couldn’t not use it

 **notbarryallen:** nate buddy how was prague

 **notbarryallen:** you’ve been unusually quiet

 **ZariIsTheBest:** yeah, how was it??

 **gayforray:** why is being quiet weird

 **gayforray:** I can do quiet

 **notbarryallen:** nothing, just thought you’d be like super excited for all day about meeting charles iv bc I know you’re sorta fascinated by the era

 **notbarryallen:** or you know about someone else too ;)

 **gayforray:** that. that’s why I don’t talk to you

 **Lancelot:** They spent the entire trip together, chatting about this and that and smiling at each other like idiots all the time

 **Lancelot:** So, just the usual

 **gayforray:** I swear to god y’all are like teenagers

 **ZariIsTheBest:** actually guys you’re the oblivious teenagers here

 **ZariIsTheBest:** even though we _repeatedly_ told you you should date, you keep insisting that you’re just best friends, _that’s_ getting old

 **Lancelot:** Honestly, just get it over with and find a room

 **Lancelot:** Captain’s orders :3

 **ZariIsTheBest:** nasty

 **Lancelot:** I know

 **notbarryallen:** look they’re quiet again

 **Lancelot:** God, I remember how I was with Ava at first

 **Lancelot:** Neither of us was sure we liked each other and wouldn’t ask the other out until Leo and Zari told me to get it over with and finally stop being a coward

 **Lancelot:** It was the best thing that’s ever happened to me

 **Lancelot** : So when I tell you guys you _obviously_ like each other, it’s gotta be true, and you should bloody listen to me

 **Lancelot:** Jeez I’m speaking like Constantine now

 **Trenchcoat:** Got a problem, love?

 **Lancelot:** Nope

 **Lancelot:** It’s just this wine really is good and strong

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Sara does have a point

 **notbarryallen:** hey has anyone seen those 2

 **ZariIsTheBest:** is there maybe a chance they actually listened to you for once 👀

 **Lancelot:** Hey! People listen to my orders

 **Lancelot:** Mostly

 **rayofsunshine:** Don’t worry, we love you, captain.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** 👀

**notbarryallen: 👀**

**Lancelot: 👀**

**rayofsunshine:** Why is everyone doing that??

 **rayofsunshine:** I’m confused.

 **notbarryallen:** oh baby

 **notbarryallen:** nate any good?

 **rayofsunshine:** We didn’t… do that.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** someone secretly has a dirty mind, wow

 **gayforray:** good speech, cap

 **gayforray:** might’ve worked

 **Trenchcoat:** Do tell

 **notbarryallen:** yass high five wizard

 **Trenchcoat:** Not a wizard, lad

 **grunt:** oh look someones pulled their heads out of their asses

 **Lancelot:** Did you do what I think you did

 **rayofsunshine:** That rather depends on what you think we did. Did we continue watching Doctor Who? Yes, you don’t start a re-watch without finishing it.

 **notbarryallen:** dude you’re impossible

 **gayforray:** did we make out? yeah maybe we did

 **ZariIsTheBest:** maybe or for real

 **gayforray:** for real

 **ZariIsTheBest:** looks like our mission was successfully accomplished, guys

 **gayforray:** I still hate y’all though

 **Lancelot:** Don’t be ridiculous, we did you a favor

 **Lancelot:** So now that it’s settled, can we go back to work

 **Trenchcoat:** I don’t think they’ll be able to go back to work for a while, love ;)

 **Lancelot:** Good point

 **Lancelot:** Enjoy yourselves, boys, and don’t forget protection

**gayforray: 🖕**

**notbarryallen:** ok but can we appreciate for a sec that wizard’s a part of our shipping club

 **notbarryallen:** iconic

 

 **notbarryallen** _changed the group’s name to_ **Legends of Gay™**

 

 **Lancelot:** Good name, Wally

 **notbarryallen:** only the gays get to be legendary


	5. [interlude] kiss

He gulped loudly. Fuck, this was harder than he thought.

Breathe in, breathe out.

A knock on the door. A bat of his lashes. His heart was up in his throat.

The waiting was infinite.

Finally, the door slid open.

‘Hey, Nate. What brings you to my humble quarters?’ Ray asked. Surprise laced his voice.

Nate pulled his mobile out of a pocket and waved it in front of Ray’s face. ‘This.’

‘Oh, I know, they never stop, do they? I knew this thing was a bad idea.’ He scoffed and invited Nate inside. ‘It’s all nonsense, what they’re saying.’

Now there was a hint of uncertainty behind the syllables.

‘No.’ A step closer.

‘What do you mean, no?’

‘I mean no, Ray, it’s not nonsense.’ He took another breath. Looked down and toyed with the mobile for a silent minute.

Ray looked at him softly. ‘What are you saying?’

‘Screw this, man. She’s right, Sara’s right.’ He was looking him in the eye now. ‘I was a coward, dwelling in the past,’ what else could you expect from a historian, ‘thinking about Amaya, trying to see how I could fix that relationship. But Amaya is in 1942, and I’m still here. Enough of the past.’ He put a hand on Ray’s shoulder. ‘The truth is I like you, Ray. I do. I’m 100% bisexual and I like you.’

There it was, the beans were spilt.

Nate didn’t notice he’s been unconsciously pushing Ray closer to a wall.

For once, Ray Palmer was speechless. He just stared; blinked; smiled.

‘Nate,’ he finally said, ‘I—’

A pause. Hearts beat like a hummingbird’s.

‘No. No, don’t Tenth-Doctor me right now. That’s a sad scene,’ Nate muttered.

Lips touched his before he realised the full extent of what was happening.

It was electric.

He lit up like a Christmas tree on this inside, and smiled against Ray’s kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this at 11:30 pm on my mobile while listening to lana del rey and i was c r y i n g


	6. jax, welcome back!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> new members incoming!

****2018/08/01** **

 

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** So now when we’re all friends again, maybe we could add some more people to this? I thought about Jax, for example.

 ** **ZariIsTheBest:**** there are enough people as it is, do you really want to add more

 ** **ZariIsTheBest:**** and when were we not friends, I’m wounded

 ** **notbarryallen:**** wouldn’t it like break our gay aesthetic

 ** **Lancelot:**** Says someone who isn’t actually gay

 ** **notbarryallen:**** I’m lgbt it counts

 ** **gayforray:**** I’m pretty sure Jax would fit in just right

 ** **ZariIsTheBest:**** speaking of, how was your night 👀

 ** **ZariIsTheBest:**** a bird told me you slept in Ray’s room

 ** **gayforray:**** Wally, why

 ** **notbarryallen:**** cmon man you couldn’t think this was over

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** Our night was great, why thank you.

 ** **gayforray:**** turns out Ray’s an octopus

 ** **Lancelot:**** Yeah I know, Kendra told me c:

 ** **gayforray:**** it’s kinda cute

 ** **gayforray:**** who’s kendra?

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** My 4000 years old reincarnating Egyptian hawk demigoddess ex-girlfriend.

 ** **gayforray:**** okay wow why am I only hearing about her now?

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** I told you I’ve dated on the ship before, back in my cave in the prehistoric.

 ** **gayforray:**** but not that your ex was so cool man

 ** **grunt:**** haircut and hawk chick were engaged

 ** **gayforray:**** wait, what

 ** **grunt:**** yeah

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** Can we maybe not talk about this anymore?

 ** **Lancelot:**** Sure, who else do you wanna add, Ray?

 

 ** **rayofsunshine**** _added_ ****Jaxon**** , ****MiniDarhk**** , _and_ ****MiniStein**** _to_ ****Legends of Gay™****

 

 ** **Lancelot:**** Did you seriously add Nora Darhk???

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** what is this, who are you, and why am I here

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** Hey, Nora, this is Ray!

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** palmer?

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** The one and only.

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** You’re not evil anymore, are you?

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** very smooth, palmer

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** I’m still locked in time bureau prison if that’s what you’re asking

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** You didn’t use the time stone?

 ** **MissTimeBureau:**** Wait, what?

 ** **MissTimeBureau:**** What are you even doing here?

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** Nothing, forget I said anything, Ava.

 ** **MissTimeBureau:**** I’m not sure if I can. Did you really give Nora Darhk the time stone?

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** I’d rather not answer that.

 ** **Lancelot:**** Maybe this wasn’t a good idea, Ray

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** uh oh, here comes trouble

 ** **MissTimeBureau:**** You don’t get to say anything.

 ** **Trenchcoat:**** You’re the one we tried getting mallus out of and failed

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** yeah, well, sorry about that?

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** why legends of gay

 ** **notbarryallen:**** bc no one here’s straight 🌈

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** How about you?

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** between malice and world domination you don’t really have time to figure it out

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** why am I even talking to you…

 ** **notbarryallen:**** do you like dudes

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** yeah

 ** **notbarryallen:**** and girls

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** idk?

 ** **notbarryallen:**** good answer, I think you can stay

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** who are you, anyway

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** clearly not barry allen

 ** **notbarryallen:**** the name’s wally west, I’m also a speedster

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** oh right, that one

 ** **MiniStein:**** Hi, everyone, I’m Lily Stein.

 ** **Lancelot:**** Hey, Lily! How’s little Ronnie??

 ** **MiniStein:**** Demanding at times but he’s still the best thing that could happen to me and we all love him so much <3

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** you’re the professor’s daughter?

 ** **MiniStein:**** You are Damien Darhk’s daughter?

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** yes

 ** **MiniStein:**** Okay, nice to meet you!

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** nice to meet you too, I guess

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** aren’t you gonna ask her if she belongs here too

 ** **MiniStein:**** Excuse me?

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** Lily is the honorary straight person we all love.

 ** **ZariIsTheBest:**** until yesterday you couldn’t admit you were bi,

 ** **Jaxon:**** hey guys its been a while

 ** **Jaxon:**** whats darhk’s daughter doing here

 ** **Lancelot:**** Jax, welcome back!

 ** **Lancelot:**** And apparently, Ray’s gone crazy

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** Come on, guys, everyone deserves a second chance. That’s kind of our motto.

 ** **gayforray:**** I thought that was “we screw up things for the better”

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** That’s debatable.

 ** **MiniStein:**** Jax, why don’t you come over to family dinner tonight? Mom’s making her famous casserole. We’d love to see you!

 ** **Jaxon:**** sure im working til 6 but i can come then

 ** **Jaxon:**** anyways what’s up with you guys

 ** **notbarryallen:**** nate and ray are dating now

 ** **grunt:**** We’re hunting magical fuckers

 ** **ZariIsTheBest:**** Amaya left and Sara’s got a girlfriend

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** It’s Ava Sharpe.

 ** **notbarryallen:**** we’ve got a wizard now

 ** **Trenchcoat:**** Again, I’m not a bloody wizard

 ** **Jaxon:**** wow you’ve gone wild while im gone

 ** **Jaxon:**** wait did i see right, nate and ray are dating??

 ** **Lancelot:****  That’s correct

 ** **gayforray:**** we’re not dating

 ** **ZariIsTheBest:**** no, you just made out and spent the night together

 ** **Trenchcoat:**** And made my stomach turn with disgust at breakfast

 ** **notbarryallen:**** puppy eyes and longing glances?

 ** **Trenchcoat:**** Even worse than before

 ** **ZariIsTheBest:**** but to be fair you and Gary aren’t exactly the subtlest either

 ** **ZariIsTheBest:**** I’ve seen some things I __really__  wish to unsee

 ** **ZariIsTheBest:**** and I’ve seen Mick naked

 ** **notbarryallen:**** I wanna unsee that too

 ** **Jaxon:**** yo im not pretending to understand any of that but does he still walk round the ship naked in the morning

 ** **grunt:**** whats wrong with that

 ** **notbarryallen:**** someone wants to keep their sight

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** I gotta admit, this is kind of juicy

 ** **ZariIsTheBest:**** I never thought I’d say this but I agree with Nora Darhk

 ** **ZariIsTheBest:**** no one here is normal, I swear to god

 ** **gayforray:**** the fact we’re all adults and some of us have multiple phds and we’re on a time ship but all we ever do is sit in our rooms with cells in our hands really says something about the morale of this place

 ** **Lancelot:**** You can blame Raymond Palmer, the genius engineer who always has pure intentions but doesn’t really take the whole situation into consideration

 ** **gayforray:**** who said I was complaining

 ** **notbarryallen:**** mood

 ** **gayforray:**** those magical fuckers, as Mick so eloquently put it, don’t show up every day, what are we supposed to do anyway

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** it was malice, wasn’t it

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** magical fuckers

 ** **Trenchcoat:**** Mallus

 ** **ZariIsTheBest:**** I love how Mick’s denomination caught on

 ** **gayforray:**** no, actually he’s called Malice, I thought the famous demonologist would know that

 ** **gayforray:**** I did, in case someone’s asking

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** So did I!

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** And to answer your question, yes, it was him. Well, more like your dad. Who let Malice into his body. To save you.

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** But it was our idea first so really it was our fault. Again.

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** did someone ever tell you to shut up, palmer

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** I swear I can hear you talking like you’re actually here, it’s going to give me nightmares

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** Nate did, multiple times.

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** AndI’m really sorry about your dad, Nora.

 ** **Jaxon:**** in a “shut up and kiss me” way or like a “shut up ur annoying” way

 ** **gayforray:**** both

 ** **Jaxon:**** aww

 ** **notbarryallen:**** virtual fist bump bro

 ** **Jaxon:**** what for

 ** **notbarryallen:**** being a part of the shipping club

 ** **Jaxon:**** hell yeah

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** in case anyone cares I think the nerds belong together

 ** **ZariIsTheBest:**** I might actually hate you a bit less right now

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** if that’s supposed to make me feel better, it doesn’t, but thanks

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** To be honest, I thought you were actually into me.

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** what, _no_

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** not in your wildest dreams, palmer

 ** **gayforray:**** so that’s basically a yes then

 ** **Lancelot:**** This one’s speaking from experience

 ** **MissTimeBureau:**** Are you talking to her now, Sara?

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** she is actually still here if you don’t mind

 ** **Lancelot:**** Well, I’ve been thinking about it, and it’s like Ray said, everyone deserves a second chance

 ** **Lancelot:**** And besides, this is just a chat, it’s not like we’re bringing her on board

 ** **MissTimeBureau:**** I suppose that’s true.

 ** **MissTimeBureau:**** You wanna watch a movie later? To get our minds off things.

 ** **Lancelot:**** Sure! But I pick the movie this time

 ** **MissTimeBureau:**** Anything you want, dear. As long as it’s not Star Wars or something like that.

 ** **gayforray:**** hey! star wars are a cinematographic masterpiece

 ** **MissTimeBureau:**** Sorry, you know what I meant.

 ** **Lancelot:**** I was thinking something more romantic

 ** **MissTimeBureau:**** Please, not Titanic. You know I always cry at that one.

 ** **Lancelot:**** You’re a sap, you know that, Sharpe?

 ** **Lancelot:**** But okay I’ll choose sth else

 ** **MissTimeBureau:**** Ugh, I wish it were evening already.

 ** **Lancelot:**** You’re the head of a time-traveling agency, can’t you figure sth outtt

 ** **Lancelot:**** <3

 ** **MissTimeBureau:**** It’s not that simple…

 ** **Lancelot:**** I know

 ** **Lancelot:****  See u later

 ** **MissTimeBureau:**** Love you.

 ** **Lancelot:**** Love you too

 ** **MiniStein:**** You guys are so adorable!

 ** **Jaxon:**** ^^

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** I can’t believe lady time bureau is dating sara lance of all people

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** It’s still a shock for some of us, to be quite honest.

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** and how is your boyfriend, palmer??

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** He’s not my boyfriend.

 ** **ZariIsTheBest:**** yes, he is

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** Not yet. I mean, we haven’t talked about it.

 ** **gayforray:**** why don’t I get a say in this

 ** **gayforray:**** ok, yes, we made out and may have spent the night together but that doesn’t mean we’re dating, all right

 ** **notbarryallen:**** say whatever you will, man

 ** **notbarryallen:**** even mick and constantine and nora darhk see you belong together forever

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** It is rather endearing that Nate showed up in the middle of the conversation only to defend Star Wars…

 ** **gayforray:**** it __is__ a masterpiece, and you’d never have become a scientist and joined this team if it weren’t for it (as we learned first-hand) and we’d never have met so of course I had to defend star wars

 ** **gayforray:**** that’s not even a question, baby

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** I know. I’d do the same.

 ** **gayforray:**** wanna come over here

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** And watch the Empire?

 ** **gayforray:**** yes, watch the empire. and then the return of the jedi

 ** **gayforray:**** beebo want cuddle

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** And popcorn?

 ** **gayforray:**** no, screw the popcorn, it’d just get all over the bed

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** Good point.

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** are the dorks done?

 ** **ZariIsTheBest:**** admit it, they’re also very adorable

 ** **Jaxon:**** ^^

 ** **MiniStein:**** Oh, absolutely.

 ** **MiniStein:**** Reading these messages is better than watching a soap opera.

 ** **Jaxon:**** u watch soap operas?

 ** **MiniStein:**** What, a mother on leave has to find some way to relax __and__ entertain herself when she isn’t spending all of her time on the scientific discovery of the century.

 ** **Jaxon:**** astonishing

 ** **MiniStein:**** Don’t.

 ** **Jaxon:**** sorry

 ** **notbarryallen:**** speaking of mick and constantine, where are they anyway

 ** **ZariIsTheBest:**** last time I checked they were in the kitchen trying to see who’s better at holding his liquor

 ** **Lancelot:**** That can’t end well

 ** **ZariIsTheBest:**** yeah, I’m kinda worried about their health and the pristine state of this ship

 ** **notbarryallen:**** yup, I checked in on them

 ** **notbarryallen:**** they’re well into their 2nd bottle of whiskey

 ** **Jaxon:**** isnt it 2 pm

 ** **ZariIsTheBest:**** what else do you expect from Mick

 ** **Jaxon:**** true

 ** **AgentGeek:**** Oh dear

 ** **Lancelot:**** Gary! Since you’re here, you should maybe get your boyfriend away from Mick, for his own good

 ** **AgentGeek:**** Yeah, that’s probably a good idea

 ** **AgentGeek:**** I’ll be there in a jiffy

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** is this guy palmer’s brother?

 ** **AgentGeek:**** No, why?

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** my nightmare has come true, there’s two of them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let's say nora uses the stone and then always comes back so they wouldn't know she was gone


	7. anyone wants to play monopoly?

**2018/08/05**

 

 **rayofsunshine:** Anyone wants to play Monopoly?

 **grunt:** no, games are for kids

 **MiniDarhk:** I’d love to, but, you know, I’m kind of locked in a time prison

 **rayofsunshine:** By choice.

 **MiniDarhk:** doesn’t mean it’s a great way to spend your time

 **gayforray:** the sarcasm is strong with this one

 **gayforray:** count me in

 **Lancelot:** Why are you asking?

 **rayofsunshine:** I’ve been staring at the plans for the new, enhanced blaster for my ATOM suit for way too long and I could use a distraction.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** why don’t you ask Nate to provide a good distraction ;)

 **rayofsunshine:** I’m asking all of you.

 **notbarryallen:** yeah, why should he have all the fun

 **notbarryallen:** I’m in

 **Lancelot:** What the hell, so am I

 **Lancelot:** And Ava

 **AgentGeek:** I have a better idea: why don’t we play dungeons & dragons??

 **gayforray:** no one asked you, Gary

 **AgentGeek:** Can I still play with you?

 **rayofsunshine:** Of course! Everyone’s welcome!

 **AgentGeek:** Great :)

 **rayofsunshine:** I have more board games, too. Just come to my room, and we can agree on something!

 **Jaxon:** thats not fair, some of us aren’t on the waverider

 **MissTimeBureau:** I could take you here if you want, Mr. Jackson.

 **Jaxon:** nah im good but thanks, i don’t wanna go back just for a game of monopoly

 **MiniStein:** To be honest, I could use the distraction too. Ronnie’s been crying since he woke up, and I’m so tired! You don’t know true fatigue until you have a baby.

 **MiniDarhk:** or a demon inside your head

 **Trenchcoat:** I can relate, love. Demons can mess you up quite like nothing else

 **MiniDarhk:** try living with one for almost 20 years

 **Trenchcoat:** I’d rather not to

 **Trenchcoat:** Gary says I have to “socialise” more with you lot and therefore should go play games with you and even though I have no desire to do so I have to ask, will there be alcohol

 **rayofsunshine:** No one says you can’t bring your own. The more the merrier, after all!

 **Trenchcoat:** Gary also promised me sex and a nice breakfast if I go, so it seems I’m convinced. Consider yourselves lucky he’s too adorable when excited

 **AgentGeek:** Aww did you just call me adorable

 **rayofsunshine:** Just don’t have sex here, please.

 **Trenchcoat:** Are you sure about that ;)

 **rayofsunshine:** Yes, very sure. Thank you.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** that goes from literally all of us, thanks

 **MissTimeBureau:** Do you want me to get you, @MiniStein

 **MiniStein:** Only if @MiniDarhk can come too, because it wouldn’t fair if you brought me and left her out because she’s in prison.

 **MissTimeBureau:** Are you… friends?

 **MiniDarhk:** I wouldn’t say friends, but we started talking

 **MiniDarhk:** not much you can do here

 **MiniStein:** We sort of bonded over our dads, you could say.

 **MiniDarhk:** and the names palmer gave us

 **MiniStein:** We’re nickname twins!

 **MissTimeBureau:** Mr. Palmer and Sara said I should do it so I’m going to trust their judgement and go for it despite what my common sense tells me.

 **MissTimeBureau:** I trust one of them would steal my time courier anyway if I didn’t.

 **MissTimeBureau:** Do you have a babysitter, Miss Stein?

 **MiniStein:** Thank you so much, Miss Sharpe! My boyfriend can take care of our son for once too; after all, children should spend time with their fathers.

 **MiniStein:** No offence, Nora.

 **MiniStein:** You know where I live, don’t you?

 **MiniDarhk:** none taken, it was all his fault

 **MissTimeBureau:** Yes, Sara knows where you live.

 

 **ZariIsTheBest:** [ _image attached_ : avalance02.jpeg]

 **Lancelot:** Did you take pictures of us???

 **gayforray:** never thougth id say that but daww you’re such a cute couple

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I also have this

 **ZariIsTheBest:** [ _image attached_ : steelatom13.jpeg]

 **gayforray:** *gasp* noo you traitor

 **notbarryallen:** do I see 13 pics of them

 **ZariIsTheBest:** actually, I have like 30

 **rayofsunshine:** That’s naughty, Z!

 **notbarryallen:** hey have any of yoou realized,, ava lance would be her name if they got maried

 **gayforray:** omg yeah

 **gayforray:** that’s bomb

 **Lancelot:** Not if we hyphenate or keep our names

 **notbarryallen:** sharpe-lance

 **notbarryallen:** do you haer the pun

 **gayforray:** wow

 **ZariIsTheBest:** what the hell was in that concoction you had, Wally? are you okay?

 **notbarryallen:** grreat

 **gayforray:** me too if anyones asking

 **Lancelot:** On the other hand hyphenating doesn’t sound great anymore

 **rayofsunshine:** Have you actually been thinking about it? Marriage?

 **Lancelot:** We’re not so far in our relationship yet

 **Lancelot:** I guess

 **Lancelot:** Do you know I love Ava

 **gayforray:** hey wally how bad exactlt is the hangover from this thingh

 **notbarryallen:** I guess awful when ur not a speedrsetr

 **notbarryallen:** mine lasts for liek 5 mins haha

 **Lancelot:** Shit

 **gayforray:** rayyy help me please

 **rayofsunshine:** I’m not a bioengineer, I don’t know if there’s anything I can do about it, Nate. You should go to sleep.

 **gayforray:** why don’t u come here and make me fel better now

 **rayofsunshine:** You really should rest and sleep it off, buddy.

 **gayforray:** dont wanna

 **gayforray:** pleas come heeeeeere

 **Trenchcoat:** You boys really can’t handle your drink, can you?

 **gayforray:** you. your to blmae

 **notbarryallen:** sara how r u so sober

 **Lancelot:** I’ve got autocorrect

 **Lancelot:** Because I’m not, that thing really was strong as fuck

 **Trenchcoat:** How am I to blame?

 **gayforray:** you just has to bring alcohol didnt you

 **gayforray:** and then walls had the cocktaill

 **Trenchcoat:** I only brought some whisky, and anyway, Gary convinced me to come so you should blame him rather than me if you need someone to blame for your stupidity

 **Trenchcoat:** Anyhow, gotta dash, I’ve got some duties to perform if you get my meaning

 **gayforray:** someones gonna get dick ;))

 **ZariIsTheBest:** why does alcohol always has to ruin things?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** bless Allah

 **notbarryallen:** bless ur unbreakeable willpower

 **notbarryallen:** do u have mmore pictures

 **ZariIsTheBest:** oh yes, this one’s good

 **ZariIsTheBest:** [ _image attached_ : steelatom21.jpeg]

 **MiniStein:** So cute.

 **notbarryallen:** kisss

 **gayforray:** why

 **rayofsunshine:** Stop sending pictures of us!

 **Lancelot:** I love the smell of Ava’s hair so much

 **Lancelot:** And she’s so soft I wanna stay like this forever

 **gayforray:** whats going on with sara

 **MissTimeBureau:** Your super strong cocktail, that’s what’s going on. She’s wasted, just the same as you idiots.

 **MissTimeBureau:** Very cuddly, and apparently has no boundaries.

 **MissTimeBureau:** It’s kind of charming, actually.

 **gayforray:** u reallly do love her

 **MissTimeBureau:** Yes, I really do <3

 **Lancelot:** Awww Aves I love you too, so much

 **Lancelot:** I want you to be with me forever

 **Lancelot:** I’m afraid that won’t happen but I still wanna be with you forever

 **gayforray:** I love ray palmer did u kniw

 **ZariIsTheBest:** we did, actually

 **gayforray:** u did??

 **notbarryallen:** u were the one who didnt know it dude

 **gayforray:** the hair. so soft. awesome. nd I love hwo hes super smart and exicted about stuff. and lovess scifi, man. and so strong like wow guy got some bod. and hes cute I wanna eat him and fuc I wanna fuck him too that wuold be nice

 **gayforray:** I think I wanna marry hum

 **gayforray:** wallyy will u be my best man

 **notbarryallen:** yesss man ill be your best man

 **notbarryallen:** I wanna have some chipss

 **notbarryallen:** or, or cake

 **notbarryallen:** but im too wobbly to run right npw I think im gonna go to sleeep

 **notbarryallen:** gnight

 **ZariIsTheBest:** good night, Wally

 **ZariIsTheBest:** jeez, tomorrow morning is gonna be so embarrassing

 **ZariIsTheBest:** it’s embarrassing even now

 **MiniStein:** It’s hilarious to observe science in practice sometimes.

 **Lancelot:** Who cares, we’re the legends

 **Lancelot:** We can go back in time and erase this

 **Lancelot:** Forget it ever happened

 **ZariIsTheBest:** good night, Sara

 **Lancelot:** I confiscated her phone and it will stay that way till morning. Good night.

 **Lancelot:** (Ava speaking)

 **ZariIsTheBest:** yeah, I figured

 **gayforray:** wait can a clone even gert drunk

 **MiniStein:** Interesting question.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** she didn’t drink almost at all, but my guess is that she can

 **ZariIsTheBest:** she may be a clone but I’m pretty sure she’s a normal human being just like the rest of us when it comes down to it

 **gayforray:** where is mini dahkr anyway

 **gayforray:** it’s too hadr to spell darkh fuck

 **MiniDarhk:** mini darhk wants to have nothing to do with you, ever again

 **gayforray:** feelings mutual

 **MiniDarhk:** though watching you get drunk from one shot of that blue stuff was entertaining

 **MiniDarhk:** and so was beating your ass at monopoly

 **gayforray:** no no it wasn’t u have magic! u cheates

 **MiniDarhk:** how do you know constantine didn’t cheat as well? he also has magic

 **gayforray:** I know. hes weird. you’re evil and cant leav us alone even for a game nihgt

 **MiniDarhk:** you invited me, remember?

 **gayforray:** nope that was lilly

 **gayforray:** lily potter?

 **gayforray:** not me

 **gayforray:** “very intoxictaed” ur pronably right my man but its like, the best hihg ever

 **gayforray:** I don’t have to pt this thing down. wont

 **ZariIsTheBest:** is he seriously replying to Ray via phone?

 **MiniStein:** It very much looks that way, haha.

 **gayforray:** Nate says bye.

 **gayforray:** Good night, everyone!

 **MiniDarhk:** I hope he has the worst hangover

 **ZariIsTheBest:** goodnight to the both of you

 **ZariIsTheBest:** is everyone really down? it’s not even that late

 **MiniStein:** Well, I had fun! We should do it again sometimes.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** oh god no


	8. [interlude] cocktail

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this little interlude is set during the previous chapter. originally, it was longer and told from ava's pov, but then i rewrote it completely. oh well.

‘You sure?’ Wally cocked an eyebrow. He held the phial close to his lips, ready to knock its contents back.

Mick popped his eyes. ‘Of course!’ He raised his own phial.

‘That’s what we’re here for, isn’t it?’ said Sara. She nodded slightly in Nate’s direction.

Nate, who was the last one in their little circle, raised his hand and cried, ‘Let’s do it!’

In a practised, synchronised motion, they downed their drinks, despite the repeated warning that this special cocktail was dangerous even for a speedster.

Sara’s hand really wanted to slam the phial against a counter; it was almost a reflex. Though there was none, so she tossed it back to Wally. She winked at Ava, who was sitting on the floor under Ray’s bed alongside Gary and John. They’ve dismissed the dare, passing a bottle of scotch among themselves.

She earned no reaction from her girlfriend. Ava probably still thought that drinking something so strong was immature and irresponsible, and that the captain of the ship should be the opposite, yadda yadda. Sara blew her a kiss.

Supernatural warmth spread through Sara’s chest all the way to her stomach and beyond. Her head spun as the effects of the cocktail kicked in. This really was some strong stuff.

Wally laughed, ‘Woohoo! That’s what I’m talking about, baby!’

‘Yeah, this is amazing!’ she added with a wide grin on her face.

Sara heard the click of a camera as Zari snapped a picture of the four of them. She looked her way, filing the sight of Nora Darhk munching on fabricated crisps on Ray’s bed while sitting next to him away for later, only to notice Mick was staggering.

Her own feet suddenly felt wobblier than they were a second ago. Oh boy. Strong stuff indeed.

Ava was probably right. This really wasn’t going to end well, was it?

Not that Sara would ever regret doing this. Not a chance.


	9. i need a long cold shower

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all for your kudos, comments, love, and support!!! i'm glad that you're enjoying this fic. i love you guys <3 know that you are what keeps me going. i've just finished chapter 11, which is quite long, and there is another interlude connected to this chapter, so stay tuned!
> 
> this immediately follows the previous chat-chapter.

**2018/08/06**

 

 **grunt:** what’s going on? why did I wake up in the cargo space?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** good morning, sunshine

 **rayofsunshine:** Did we forget about Mick? We did, didn’t we.

 **Lancelot:** Fuck, my head

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I see Ava gave you your phone back

 **Lancelot:** She’s still asleep

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I think Mick went off sometimes after Nate won the bank and we haven’t seen him since

 **ZariIsTheBest:** right?

 **grunt:** my head hurts, that was some very strong shit right there

 **Lancelot:** So you did remember

 **Lancelot:** I’d rather not to

 **ZariIsTheBest:** told you

 **ZariIsTheBest:** anyway, how is Nate?

 **rayofsunshine:** Fell out of bed sometime around 3 and now is snoring loudly with his mouth open, on the floor, wrapped in my blanket. It’s kind of charming.

 **rayofsunshine:** Or it would be if my feet weren’t frozen.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** so you spent the night together again, how cute

 **rayofsunshine:** Nate’s bed is too small to be cute.

 **Lancelot:** Do you remember any of the stuff he said last night

 **Lancelot:** Because that was spicy

 **rayofsunshine:** He didn’t know what he was saying, that was just the alcohol.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** same about you, Lance

 **ZariIsTheBest:** and are you sure, Ray? the alcohol may have made him more open, but it only makes you lose control over yourself and brings out your deepest thoughts

 **ZariIsTheBest:** in conclusion, you’re screwed ;)

 **Lancelot:** Please, don’t mention it

 **Lancelot:** I need a long cold shower

 **Lancelot:** And I also need to hear what Nate has to say about that

 **grunt:** I read it all

 **grunt:** pretty really has it hard for haircut

 **rayofsunshine:** Actually, I need to hear what Nate has to say about it too. Because there’s no way he could actually

 **notbarryallen:** good morning gang!

 **notbarryallen:** I just finished my morning meditation, what’s up

 **grunt:** I’m gonna roast you kid

 **notbarryallen:** why the negative attitude, mick, life is great

 **grunt:** ggggggggg

 **notbarryallen:** what were you about to say, ray 👀

 **rayofsunshine:** Nothing, never mind.

 **grunt:** tell trenchcoat to keep it quiet

 **notbarryallen:** ohhh no

 **ZariIsTheBest:** are they…?

 **grunt:** fucking? yeah

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I told Gideon while trying to erase the thought from memory

 **ZariIsTheBest:** but you know you could’ve just done it yourself, right?

 **grunt:** great, im gonna go to bed

 **rayofsunshine:** Mick is unusually talkative this morning.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** yeah, I noticed that too

 **ZariIsTheBest:** anyway, my stomach is craving pancakes so I’m gonna get ‘em, with lots of syrup and maybe even real fruits

 **notbarryallen:** think I’m gonna join you

 **rayofsunshine:** Do you think I should wake Nate up?

 **rayofsunshine:** Because he would appreciate the pancakes, but he might be cranky for hours if I wake him up in the middle of a dream. Oh boy.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** throw a pillow at him and see what happens

 **Trenchcoat:** Who was it that ruined a beautiful morning with a beautiful man in my bed

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Mick

 **ZariIsTheBest:** but be careful, if you try and wake him up, he might burn you to a crisp

 **Trenchcoat:** Thanks for the warning, love

 **ZariIsTheBest:** on second thoughts, I might’ve just let him do it

 **Lancelot:** Yeah, you might’ve

 **ZariIsTheBest:** look who’s back

 **ZariIsTheBest:** join us for breakfast?

 **Lancelot:** I need some Advil first

 **ZariIsTheBest:** @rayofsunshine any progress with Nate?

 **rayofsunshine:** Let’s just say throwing a pillow at him worked better than I expected.

 **Lancelot:** Ohhhhhh I see

 **Lancelot:** We won’t be waiting up then ;)

 **Trenchcoat:** They can shag and I can’t, where’s the justice in that

 **Trenchcoat:** I should hex you all

 **ZariIsTheBest:** so you survived, congrats!

 **Trenchcoat:** It was a close call, though

 **Lancelot:** We’ve been rooting for them to get them together for ages and as far as we know it’s their first time, so cut the boys some slack, Constantine

 **Lancelot:** You and Gary get it on like all the time

 **Trenchcoat:** You’re the one to talk, Sara

 **Lancelot:** Shut up if you want breakfast

 **Trenchcoat:** Gary’s promised me one, remember?

 **Lancelot:** I can easily restrict his access to the kitchen

 **Trenchcoat:** Someone’s woken up on the wrong side of the bed

 **Lancelot:** Well _someone_ feels like glass was inside her skull and stabbed her over and over, it’s nothing pleasant, I’ll tell you

 **Trenchcoat:** I’ve had my share of killer hangovers back in the day, trust me. It gets better

 **Lancelot:** Guess you’ve never had speedster juice

 **Trenchcoat:** No, and I don’t intend to try it unless necessary, that thing could fell a demon

 **Lancelot:** It did put Mick and me down, true enough

 **Trenchcoat:** Good one, Lance

 **Trenchcoat:** How’s the pet?

 **Lancelot:** _Ava_ is wonderful, thanks for asking

 **Lancelot:** She’s smart enough not to try dangerous drinks

 **ZariIsTheBest:** please, just stop bickering and come here, John, there are plenty of pancakes when Wally’s helped

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you can take Gary too

 **Trenchcoat:** Now that’s the attitude I can get behind, Z

 **ZariIsTheBest:** nope, we’re not there yet

 **Trenchcoat:** Old habit, I knew a Z once, she was quite skilled at magic too

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you’re awfully chatty today too, what’s gotten into you

 **Trenchcoat:** Gary’s cock, twice

 **ZariIsTheBest:** oh my god why

 **Trenchcoat:** He really likes roleplay in bed

 **ZariIsTheBest:** say any more and I’ll cancel the invitation

 **Trenchcoat:** Alright, I’m coming, but you’re no fun, Z

 **grunt:** did someone say pancakes?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** come and have some with us, Mick, I really don’t want to be alone with him ^^

 **Lancelot:** What, Wally and us don’t count?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** four still isn’t enough

 **Jaxon:** woah that must’ve been some wild party

 **Jaxon:** why didn’t we do this sorta thing when I was on board

 **Lancelot:** Hey, Jax

 **Lancelot:** Probably because you weren’t old enough to drink

 **Trenchcoat:** We didn’t have me

 **Jaxon:** not fair man

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you could’ve been here, your bad

 **Jaxon:** true

 **Jaxon:** but the truth is i had a date

 **notbarryallen:** really?? that’s cool

 **notbarryallen:** are they hot

 **Jaxon:** her name’s carly and were really hitting it off

 **Jaxon:** didn’t wanna say anything but ive got a feeling she might be the one

 **Lancelot:** That’s amazing, Jax! I’m happy for you

 **ZariIsTheBest:** yeah so am I!

 **Jaxon:** thanks

 **Jaxon:** im mostly happy for ray & nate, like, finally

 **notbarryallen:** we all, jax, we all

 **Jaxon:** did my ship survive the party in one piece? lol

 **ZariIsTheBest:** don’t worry, I’m taking good care of her

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I don’t vouch for the integrity of the cargo space though

 **Jaxon:** i heard

 **Jaxon:** it was nice 2 catch up but i gotta go, have work 2 do

 **Lancelot:** Bye for now

 **notbarryallen:** see, zari, jax also uses lol

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you’re never gonna let that go, are you

 **notbarryallen:** not a chance

 **MiniDarhk:** so did the cocktail kill anyone

 **notbarryallen:** nope

 **ZariIsTheBest:** no, they’re all here

 **MiniDarhk:** pity


	10. [interlude] morning after

First one eye fluttered open, then the other. He was hot; that didn’t bother him as much. He liked hot. But he was also sore all over and had a knot in his stomach that signified he’d had too much to drink.

He hasn’t felt that way for aeons.

Where was he, anyway? He tried to sit up. His boned crackled, and there was a whirlwind inside of his skull. He closed his eyes and opened them again. He was trapped inside something large and made of metal.

Ah, the Waverider. After a glance or two, he recognised the hard boxes on his sides. Next to him laid his old phone, and a tiny blue dot constantly blinked in the left corner of the display.

He didn’t bother reading whatever the team were talking about. He just typed a message, somewhat confused about the situation he was currently in: **what’s going on? why did I wake up in the cargo space?**

He should also try and get up. Probably. He needed food, or a drink.

With some difficulty, he stood up, phone still in hand. It vibrated with a reply, **good morning, sunshine**. Not very helpful. Then it buzzed some more as people joined in the conversation.

Mick didn’t care. He just needed food. He waved the door open and walked in the general direction of the kitchen.

Then it hit him. The night before, Haircut had wanted to play some sort of a stupid board game for children, which he’d had no intention of doing, but somewhere along the way Trenchcoat mentioned booze, and of course, that lured him to Haircut’s cabin. He wouldn’t say no to a drink or three.

Mick wasn’t even halfway through his journey across the ship when his head spun. It was daggers and rocks. He remembered some more.

 **my head hurts, that was some strong shit right there** , he texted, not fully aware why.

His stomach rumbled, and he growled. This called for five doughnuts, or maybe six, and definitely some beer; nothing fixes a hangover as well as drinking some more. And since there was nothing much he could do, he scrolled up the entire conversation from last night and began reading. Just for the laughs.

It was sickening, sometimes, but he liked reading it anyway.

 

* * *

 

A warm body beside her, legs tangled together, their breathing in perfect synchrony: the way Sara woke up couldn’t be more perfect. If only the nasty throbbing in her head that seemed to increase the moment she moved to check the time faded.

Fuck. Fuck, this was disastrous. Sara could drink men under the table and never be sick, but this right there was an ugly present she never thought she’d get. Ugh.

Still, she was the captain and had to face it with energy that would give example to her team, even if she felt nothing but contempt. And regret. Definitely that. She was never ever going to drink Cisco’s super juice again, not in this lifetime.

That being said, she reached for the mobile on Ava’s nightstand and typed the one sentence that was echoing inside her head, **fuck, my head**.

She shifted a bit to look at her girlfriend (how she loved that word), who, as Sara quickly discovered, was still in a deep slumber. Lucky girl.

She read what her team, or some of them, had to say. She didn’t want to get up and smell the coffee yet. In her bed, next to Ava, she was at least a bit comfortable. She occasionally contributed to the ongoing conversation, and it was fun until Zari so delicately reminded her of some things she’d told everyone last night.

After that, Sara decided there was no point avoiding the inevitable and gently extracted herself from the tangle of limbs to go and get the cold shower she’d said she needed. Because if she were to function as a human being any time soon, she really did.

  

* * *

 

Head thrown back against the pillow, legs wrapped round a body; they moved in perfect rhythm with every stroke. His hand gripped Gary’s side tighter. He felt the light kisses on his shoulder and neck and breast, and he felt he was close. His fingers squeezed and maybe left a mark.

‘Oh fuck _yes_ , love, go _deeper_ ,’ John cried and let out a breath. Gary moaned, and it was the sexiest sound he’s ever heard. ‘Bloody hell, Gary. That’s it, I’m gonna–’

‘Good morning, Mr Constantine, I’ve been told to tell you to keep it quiet.’

‘You’ve got to be kidding me!’ he shouted louder than before, to make sure whichever wanker it was who complained heard it. And then everything was just too _much_ and he exploded on the inside, and Gary screamed, who cares about the universe when they could have this, and John could feel it inside him. He felt like he could feel everything.

‘That was,’ Gary gasped, ‘wow.’ He collapsed on top of John, the mess be damned.

‘Yeah, just about.’ He smiled and kissed Gary until they were breathless again. Gary slipped out of him and lay next to him, eyes closed.

‘Gideon,’ said John loudly into the air, ‘tell the crew this, and this exactly: fuck off, you seeds of a filthy rat.’

Right now, he really hated them, and Gary’s laugh helped not a bit.

 

* * *

 

To throw or not to throw, that was the question.

 **throw a pillow at him and see what happens**. Easier said than done, Zari. Firstly, he’d have to give up the only piece of bedding he still had left, and secondly, he really wasn’t sure about the outcome of this experiment.

Staring at the ceiling to get his thoughts in order turned out to be less helpful than expected, too, and Ray figured waiting until Nate wakes up on his own would bear no fruit, either. He knew by now that Nate was a proper night owl, unlike himself.

Now add a hangover from a cocktail intended for speedsters.

He checked the chat again, but the conversation has shifted to Constantine being mad at Rory for ruining his morning. Of course they wouldn’t care about Ray Palmer and his dilemma.

They only seemed to care about getting him to sleep with Nate, which, technically, he’s already done more times than you could count on one hand. You know, in the literal sense.

(To be fair, to be really really fair with himself, he did want that too, but he didn’t want to rush things, but then again, he’s had feelings for Nate pretty much since their first meeting, oh boy, he’s going to have a migraine,)

Conclusion: on a count of three, he took the pillow and did as Zari said.

Nate stopped snoring and grunted. It lasted a minute. ‘Where am I,’ he asked, voice hoarse and not yet fully awakened.

‘On the floor of your room,’ answered Ray, leaning over the edge of the bed Nate had fallen out of at night and never come back to. ‘It’s 8:47 in the morning.’

‘Fuck,’ was among the reactions Ray suspected he might get.

‘Zari’s making pancakes, and I thought you wouldn’t want to miss those.’

Nate sat up in a flash. ‘Did you say pancakes?’ He shot his eyes open. ‘Oh hey, babe.’

Ray smiled at that. So it was one of the better days. Great!

‘Hey. Are you okay?’

‘Hungover as fuck. Hurts,’ Nate said so eloquently and continued to think for a minute. ‘Oh no. Ohhhh no. What did I do?’

Ray kind of hoped he wouldn’t need to address the elephant in the room so soon. He’s always been too optimistic for his own good.

‘Oh, nothing, really, you just cuddled a lot and then fell out of bed,’ he laughed.

Nate wouldn’t take the bait. ‘No, I meant, I said things. Didn’t I?’

‘Well,’ Ray unlocked the mobile laying on the mattress and handed it to Nate. That was easier than having to spell all of the things aloud. ‘See for yourself.’

He watched Nate scroll and his brow furrow deeper. The tip of his tongue peeked out of his mouth. ‘Oh my God,’ he said eventually. The texts rendered him speechless for the better part of two minutes. ‘Oh my God, shit, this is embarrassing,’ he added then.

Self-evidently.

He gave the mobile back, and Ray took it with a brush of fingers against Nate’s. They were warm, and the touch left sparks on his skin.

Ray didn’t want to talk about it, not anymore, not to begin with. So he said, ‘Don’t worry about it, Nate, you don’t have to say anything, it’s okay.’

‘I’m so sorry, Ray. Really, I am. I didn’t mean to say all that.’ Nate gazed him in the eyes as he untangled himself from the duvet and slowly, staggeringly got up. He lowered himself next to Ray on the (still very small) bed.

His eyes spoke of sincerity, and love, and too much speedster juice.

Ray took his hand. He took a deep breath, because he was going to need it. ‘Well, I guess it’s a bit early for the marriage part, but I think we could do something about the sex part.’

Something inside his belly fluttered when he said that.

‘Just say fuck, Ray,’ Nate teased.

‘No.’

‘One day.’ He leant down to kiss him, and it tasted like desire and promises.

And awful morning breath, too, but they let it slide for this one instant.

Then Ray’s mobile pinged because someone tagged him in the conversation. Oh fuck.

 

* * *

 

Zari was, by all means, having the time of her life.

She was never a people person, or a team person, but damn, these texts really were something. If she had a bowl of popcorn to munch on while replying to her hung-over team-mates’ aches and complaints, she’d be standing at paradise’s door.

If she ever believed there was a paradise.

She had a stash of thick, sugary pancakes with maple syrup, forest fruits, and cream to satisfy her needs, though, and that was currently enough, because those were the next best thing.

She moaned with delight as she took a bite, eyes flitting over the incoming texts. ‘These really turned out great, didn’t they? And we didn’t even use the fabricator,’ she said to Wally, who was enthusiastically swallowing one pancake after another right next to her.

‘God, yeah. The others don’t know what they’re missing.’

‘How can someone think sex is better than this, I can’t believe.’

‘Well, someone might argue about that,’ said a voice behind her, which Zari immediately filed as Sara’s.

She turned round to greet her, mouth full with another forkful of pancake. The captain, despite her efforts to hide it, walked somewhat haggardly and fought to keep her eyes open. So that was what the infamous cocktail did to people.

‘Morning, captain. How was the shower?’ Sara’s hair was dripping wet on her grey T-shirt.

She grimaced. ‘Ugh, don’t talk about that. Any of that. Please,’ she said when she pulled a random chair and sat down, mobile right next to her on the table.

‘Okay.’

Wally grinned. Then Ava walked in too, still in what Zari assumed was her pyjamas. She dropped a kiss on top of Sara’s head and murmured something unintelligible before crossing over to the drink machine to get a cup of strong coffee.

Zari’s hands were free for the moment, so she asked Ray whether he’s had any progress with his snoring boyfriend dilemma.

 **Let’s just say throwing a pillow at him worked better than I expected** , was the answer she got, and a smirk found its way on her lips. Then Sara actually engaged in the conversation; more delicious pancakes for Zari.

She gulped the exchange between Constantine and Sara like it was a juicy tabloid article, at least until it was too much and she had to intervene.

Then she was the one bickering with him. The story of her (recent) life.

Oh, Ray Palmer, you innocent, naïve man, you had no idea what you created.

It wasn’t until John dropped a mandatory sexual jab she stopped talking and rather minded her abundant breakfast and the actual, corporeal people round the table. But of course, Jax had to join the conversation. In that instant, all three occupants of the table had phones in their hands and talked virtually rather than in reality.

Their blissful bubble was interrupted by one very grumpy Mick Rory, ‘Where are the pancakes you promised?’

‘Right here, Mick, come and join us,’ said Sara, sipping at a coffee Ava brought her, already feeling better.

‘There’s enough room for everyone,’ Wally offered. He was on his seventh pancake: speedster metabolism was a bitch. Zari was eating her third, wishing she had room in her stomach for at least one more.

Mick sat down with a huff, and then their peace was over, because everyone else began pouring into the kitchen as well, Constantine with Gary in tow and even Ray and Nate, beaming like two light bulbs and holding hands.

Upon seeing the two of them, Wally glowed. ‘Sooooo,’ he raised an eyebrow.

Nate whispered, ‘Let’s just say the alcohol is literally the last thing on my mind now.’

‘That good, eh?’ John patted Ray on his shoulder. He already had a coffee in his hand.

Mick glowered at John and Ray both. He wasn’t going to forgive them for ruining his sleep any time soon, it seemed. This was going to be hilarious.

Zari contemplated having the fourth pancake. She dug in, because she deserved it this morning. She and Wally made about 40 of them, so there was enough for everyone in any case.

‘Well–’ Ray began, but Nate cut him off and pushed him forward. ‘Nope, we’re not doing this. I’m famished.’

‘Um, excuse me, Mr Rory, but could you move by a seat? I’d like to sit next to John,’ Gary chirped and made everyone remember he was there too.

Mick, being his usual self, growled a no and propped his legs against the table.

‘Don’t worry, love, you can sit on my lap if you want.’

Yeah, just a typical morning with the Legends. Zari smiled and secretly loved it.


	11. it's official

**2018/08/09**

 

 **notbarryallen:** zari was playing some music and there was this song that went “demons are a girl’s best friend”

 **notbarryallen:** made me think of you @MiniDarhk

 **MiniDarhk:** do you want me to come over and strangle you with magic?

 **notbarryallen:** I didn’t mean any bad, just thought it was funny

 **MiniDarhk:** it was a bit funny

 **MiniDarhk:** so how goes caging your magical fuckers, did you screw up time again?

 **Lancelot:** Nope, this time we’re the responsible heroes

 **ZariIsTheBest:** so far

 **Lancelot:** Wonder when it’ll all go south

 **ZariIsTheBest:** things have been suspiciously calm lately

 **MiniDarhk:** what did you guys do??

 **rayofsunshine:** We’ve been asking ourselves the same question.

 **grunt:** sounds to me like you’re complaining, haircut

 **grunt:** why are you complaining

 **Trenchcoat:** I for one am glad to have a bit of free time on my hands

 **grunt:** yeah, more time for beer and movies

 **MiniDarhk:** I could use the time stone again and wreak some havoc in the 18th century if you want

 **rayofsunshine:** Thanks for the offer, but we’d rather you wouldn’t.

 **notbarryallen:** hey ray what’s going on in your love nest

 **gayforray:** [ _image attached_ : toomuchworktodo.jpeg]

 **gayforray:** nothing fun

 **Lancelot:** You’re literally on the same bed together and you’re reading history books??

 **rayofsunshine:** Why, what’s wrong with that? Someone has to do it when none of you volunteered.

 **gayforray:** ^^

 **gayforray:** a werewolf might appear in early ming dynasty any minute now, what do you know

 **Trenchcoat:** Everything’s wrong with that, boys

 **Lancelot:** I’m sure Zari would happily assume the task for you

 **ZariIsTheBest:** yeah, sure, let me do everything when we have Gideon

 **Lancelot:** Or that

 **Lancelot:** But, you know, you do nothing but play video games with Wally, unlike the rest of us

 **ZariIsTheBest:** well, in that case, ask Mick to search history

 **grunt:** why me, I hate history

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you’re not doing anything all day

 **Lancelot:** And besides, you were Chronos, remember? Excellent in searching history

 **grunt:** what are you up to anyway

 **Lancelot:** Let’s just say Ava and I are enjoying a little time-out in the bath

 **gayforray:** so that’s why the bathroom’s been occupied for nearly an hour, great

 **Trenchcoat:** Can I join you?

 **Lancelot:** NO

 **MissTimeBureau:** NO

 **Lancelot:** Go find Gary and do whatever it is you’re always doing together

 **Lancelot:** No, I don’t want to know

 **AgentGeek:** He’s teaching me magic

 **MissTimeBureau:** Ugh

 **AgentGeek:** No, I mean, literal magic. Spells. It’s so awesome

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I bet you’re awkward

 **AgentGeek:** A bit, yeah… but I’m making progress!

 **MiniDarhk:** look, we have a newbie warlock, that’s cute

 **Trenchcoat:** He’s not half so bad, I gotta say

 **Trenchcoat:** And it usually ends with a bit of the other kind of magic, so I reckon I’m not a horrible teacher ;)

 **MissTimeBureau:** Still don’t want to know.

 **rayofsunshine:** Guys, really, it’s okay, we’re gonna wrap it up anyway and watch Doctor Who again.

 **gayforray:** seems like no monsters showed up anywhere lately so let’s just chill

 **notbarryallen:** doctor who and chill, yeah??

**notbarryallen: 😏**

**gayforray:** what do you say, baby

 **rayofsunshine:** You’ll know if you forget about this invention of mine for a while.

 **rayofsunshine:** Which isn’t something I thought I’d ever say but here we are.

 **gayforray:** you didn’t have an incredibly handsome boyfriend before

 **ZariIsTheBest:** so is it official now 👀

**MiniDarhk: 👀**

**notbarryallen: 👀**

**rayofsunshine:** Again with the eyes, guys?

 **notbarryallen:** you ain’t getting rid of us

 **rayofsunshine:** It’s official.

 **Lancelot:** Yay, I’m happy for you guys!

 **MissTimeBureau:** Likewise.

 **MissTimeBureau:** Now put your phone down and come back to me, Lance.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** anyone else feels like throwing a party?

 **grunt:** I’m always up for a party

 **notbarryallen:** meee

 **gayforray:** don’t start a party without us

 **ZariIsTheBest:** never

 **Jaxon:** id come to this one

 **MiniStein:** If it’ll be anything like Monopoly night, I don’t think it’s wise…

 **MiniStein:** But I’d come anyway :)

 **ZariIsTheBest:** no more alcohol at our parties, though, yeah?

 **gayforray:** maybe just a little

 **notbarryallen:** dw I won’t bring my cocktail anymore, seeing what it did to you lightweights

 **MiniDarhk:** do you really think throwing a party for palmer is a good idea?

 **notbarryallen:** no, but it’s also for nate, so

 **rayofsunshine:** I can appreciate a party, too!

 **grunt:** but your nerd party is a bit different from ours

 **rayofsunshine:** I can have fun at a normal one, with lots of alcohol, loud music, dancing, women…

 **rayofsunshine:** I can!

 **notbarryallen:** sure you can, man

 **ZariIsTheBest:** and anyway, it wouldn’t be like that

 **ZariIsTheBest:** more like some dancing in the kitchen before we go to bed, or something

 **notbarryallen:** I can help you set it up

 **gayforray:** wait, you’re serious about this?

 **Jaxon:** i am if you are

 **notbarryallen:** sure, this is definitely sth worth celebrating

 **ZariIsTheBest:** now don’t mind us, put your phones down and go back to doctor who & chill ;))

 **rayofsunshine:** Speaking of, have any of you ever noticed we’re basically living in a Doctor Who episode?

 **rayofsunshine:** Time travel, fighting monsters, living on a time ship that’s alive, even the console on the bridge is very alike the TARDIS. Is this a coincidence?? I don’t think so.

 **rayofsunshine:** As a boy, I always dreamed of being the Doctor’s companion but never thought it could ever be real. Look at me now!

 **ZariIsTheBest:** yeah, we get it, Ray, and we heard you the 100 times you said it before

 **MiniDarhk:** are you really such a nerd or are you practicing what to say?

 **notbarryallen:** he really is a geek but then again so are the rest of us ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **gayforray:** ^^

 **gayforray:** hey guys, who’s your favorite doctor?

 **gayforray:** mine is 11 but I also really like 7 and 9

 **rayofsunshine:** Heathen.

 **rayofsunshine:** The best Doctor of all times is Four.

 **notbarryallen:** I haven’t seen much of it but I like 10

 **ZariIsTheBest:** 15

 **gayforray:** WAIT

 **ZariIsTheBest:** oh yeah

 **gayforray:** you’re from the future so you know who the next doctors are

 **ZariIsTheBest:** not telling you

 **rayofsunshine:** This ship is also from the future, so does that mean we can watch future TV too?

 **gayforray:** wait we can watch it here can’t we

 **gayforray:** sorry :p

 **gayforray:** OH, MY, GOD

 **rayofsunshine:** There is all of it. All of Doctor Who ever made. And Star Wars, too. I feel like I’m dreaming. There’s all of it.

 **rayofsunshine:** Ow, Nate, that wasn’t necessary.

 **gayforray:** wanted to make sure this isn’t a dream

 **gayforray:** okay @Lancelot I’m afraid you won’t be hearing from us any time soon

 **rayofsunshine:** Anyone care to join us?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** woah guys isn’t that like against the rules of time travel

 **Lancelot:** I’m pretty sure you shouldn’t watch future TV, Ray

 **gayforray:** the Waverider is from 2166, so it’s technically the past in Gideon’s view, right? I think it’s safe enough

 **gayforray:** I mean, the ship archive says doctor who was canceled for good in 2083, that’s a pretty long way from 2166

 **ZariIsTheBest:** wait, what, that’s spoilers

 **AgentGeek:** what is goING ON

 **AgentGeek:** Your ship has all of Doctor Who?? From the future?? Can I watch

 **MiniDarhk:** wow, seriously wow. the safety of history depends on a bunch of geeks obsessing over a time travel show while they’re the ones actually traveling in time

 **MiniDarhk:** but, as much as it pains me to admit it, 15 rocks, and 13 too

 **ZariIsTheBest:** If you were here, I’d give you a high five

 **MiniDarhk:** #girlpower

 **gayforray:** …is 15 female?

 **MiniDarhk:** black female

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I was so gay for her oh my god

 **gayforray:** this isn’t fair, both of you

 **Lancelot:** Okay, I’m interested

 **notbarryallen:** I bet

 **MissTimeBureau:** Oh no, you’re gonna leave me for her, are you?

 **Lancelot:** Maybe

 **Lancelot:** A girl’s bound to be curious

 **MissTimeBureau:** I knew this would happen.

 **Lancelot:** Yeah, between the two of us, this really couldn’t last. It was a matter of time before I found another smartass time traveler

 **Lancelot:** Guys I hate to ruin your perfect day in bed that would inevitably end up in several make-out sessions

 **Lancelot:** But can Ava and I watch too

 **rayofsunshine:** Oof, for a minute there I was worried what you were about to say.

 **rayofsunshine:** And sure you can! Why don’t we take it to the library, anyway?

 **gayforray:** noo I’m so comfortable here

 **Lancelot:** Come on, Ray, did you really think I would say there was a werewolf

 **Lancelot:** Or that I’d break up with Ava

 **MissTimeBureau:** Never.

 **Lancelot:** <3

 **notbarryallen:** does all this texting mean you’re out of the tub now?

 **MissTimeBureau:** Bathroom’s all yours.

 **notbarryallen:** great 👍🏾

 **AgentGeek:** I’m still very much freaking out about this but can I maybe watch too?

 **Trenchcoat:** Doctor who is a British icon, surely you can’t start without me

 **rayofsunshine:** At last, I found something John and I can agree on!

 **Lancelot:** I should’ve known you were a fan too, John

 **Trenchcoat:** Obviously

 **Trenchcoat:** Us Brits grew up on it

 **rayofsunshine:** Not just you.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** ^^

 **MiniDarhk:** ^^

 **MissTimeBureau:** Really?

 **MiniDarhk:** why is that surprising? I had a nice childhood before a demon took over my body

 **ZariIsTheBest:** and you still watched even when it did, I’m really starting to like you

 **MiniDarhk:** how did you watch, anyway, being on the run from argus and all?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I only watched it when I was a kid, I wasn’t on the run then

 **MiniDarhk:** makes sense

 **gayforray:** you know what? I suggest everyone takes a pillow and blanket or something and joins us here for our rewatch

 **gayforray:** it’s kinda mandatory with us being time travelers and all

 **Trenchcoat:** What episode are you on?

 **gayforray:** blink

 **Trenchcoat:** Ohh that’s a good one

 **AgentGeek:** It’s my favorite!

 **ZariIsTheBest:**???

 **gayforray:** season 3 episode 10

 **ZariIsTheBest:** right, it’s one of the old ones

 **rayofsunshine:** 2007 isn’t that old.

 **MiniDarhk:** it is when you’re from the future

 **MiniDarhk:** I was 5 in 2007, wow

 **gayforray:** so you’re 16 in 2018? no wonder you did what you did

 **gayforray:** (Zari is 2 but shh)

 **ZariIsTheBest:** shh at you Heywood

 **MiniDarhk:** ^^

 **Lancelot:** Alright we’re coming to your room

 **ZariIsTheBest:** so am I, I guess, I don’t have anything else to do anyway

 **ZariIsTheBest:** and I won’t pass an opportunity to see Ray and Nate be all cute together ;)

 **Trenchcoat:** Count Gary and me in, this is Blink we’re talking about

 **notbarryallen:** ^^

 **notbarryallen:** gotta say I lowkey had a crush on martha

 **notbarryallen:** also jack

 **gayforray:** Wally???

 **notbarryallen:** yeahh

 **notbarryallen:** I’ve been thinking about it lately

 **notbarryallen:** I think I might actually be panro demisexual

 **rayofsunshine:** That’s me!

 **rayofsunshine:** I mean the pan part.

 **rayofsunshine:** That’s great!

 **Lancelot:** Yeah!

 **Lancelot:** Honestly, what a crew we are, five bisexuals, two pansexuals and two lesbians against magical creatures

 **notbarryallen:** don’t forget the unicorn

 **gayforray:** we should all like go to pride or something

 **gayforray:** the first pride parade after the Stonewall riots, in 1970

 **ZariIsTheBest:** or the biggest one ever, in 2019 New York

 **Lancelot:** That’s next year

 **ZariIsTheBest:** so?

 **Lancelot:** We shouldn’t time travel there, but I agree we should go

 **rayofsunshine:** Let’s wait until 2019 comes naturally; in the meantime, I support Nate’s idea.

 **notbarryallen:** awesome

 **grunt:** I’m not doing this

 **Lancelot:** Why not, Mick?

 **grunt:** it’s lame

 **grunt:** I don’t want to march in a parade that celebrates gay people

 **rayofsunshine:** You should be proud of who you are, Mick. The pride is for all of us, for our community, and it supports LGBT and human rights. It’s important.

 **rayofsunshine:** But I guess a thug like you doesn’t care about that.

 **grunt:** I don’t need a parade to know who I am

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you went to one before and something happened

 **grunt:** nothing happened

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I knew it

 **grunt:** Snart made me go once

 **Lancelot:** Leonard was??

 **grunt:** said he was queen

 **Lancelot:** You mean queer

 **grunt:** yeah

 **gayforray:** and you two were together?

 **grunt:** you don’t even know who snart was, pretty

 **gayforray:** I met Leo

 **gayforray:** also a very gay dude

 **rayofsunshine:** How did I not know that? It makes so much sense.

 **grunt:** Snart and I weren’t together

 **grunt:** anymore

 **grunt:** it was a long time ago

 **ZariIsTheBest:** this is interesting news

 **Lancelot:** Indeed

 **Lancelot:** Hey, Mick, do you want to watch doctor who with us?

 **grunt:** never watched that

 **rayofsunshine:** Okay, you have to come. You can bring beer!

 **grunt:** fine, but I’m not going to pride with you

 **notbarryallen:** you’ll change your mind yet

 **notbarryallen:** maybe you could find a nice bi girl or gay guy and stop being single forever

 **grunt:** I like being single

 **notbarryallen:** ok I respect that

 **Trenchcoat:** So are you lot coming here or not?

 **notbarryallen:** I’ll be right there

 **AgentGeek:** That was fast

 **notbarryallen:** still a speedster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a) there is no fic of mine that doesn't mention doctor who, get over it, b) we know for a fact ray's a whovian and yet he's never said anything about time travel, the ship, anything, and i think he should've, c) let's not forget adult nora is also from the future, d) i'd love to see a black female doctor one day, e) i've been thinking about the fact the waverider's archives are probably packed with films and series from all the years before 2166 a lot, f) as keiynan is pansexual (yeah, i know he doesn't use the label, but you get me, right), i thought it wouldn't be fair for wally to be the only heteroromantic one in this fic, and he does really strike me as pan, g) i wrote this listening to his music, h) i headcanon mick and snart used to be together when they were younger?? but not anymore, they just stayed partners, i) the legends should totally go to a pride in the show
> 
> okay, that's it, i hope you liked it :)


	12. don't say another word

**2018/08/12**

 

 **Lancelot:** I don’t mean this in a bad way, but why is Nora on board?

 **MiniDarhk:** movies

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Nora and I are catching up on 2030s shows

 **Lancelot:** Okay

 **Lancelot:** At this point, she could just stay here

 **MiniDarhk:** are you offering, lance

 **Lancelot:** I don’t know what demon got into my head, because I’m actually considering it

 **MiniDarhk:** isn’t your girlfriend gonna be mad at you

 **Lancelot:** Probably, but I know she can’t resist me when I smile and kiss her hard

 **notbarryallen:** wait, you’re really watching future tv?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** again, it’s the past for us

 **rayofsunshine:** Why isn’t there a swimming pool aboard the Waverider?

 **Trenchcoat:** Why

 **rayofsunshine:** I could really use one right now.

 **gayforray:** tell me about it

 **notbarryallen:**???

 **gayforray:** we were sparring in the cargo space

 **rayofsunshine:** I’m too sweaty and aching for my own good.

 **Lancelot:** Is that so?

 **gayforray:** I can see the eyes emoji there

 **gayforray:** not like that

 **gayforray:** though we were close once when we ended up on the floor

 **gayforray:** it was hot

 **rayofsunshine:** Yeah.

 **rayofsunshine:** That’s another thing we could do in a swimming pool.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** gross

 **Trenchcoat:** You’ve never had a shag in a pool?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I’m ace

 **Trenchcoat:** So you’ve never had sex?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** that’s not what I’m saying

 **ZariIsTheBest:** why can’t Ray change the topic again, this is making me uncomfortable

 **Trenchcoat:** Sorry

 **ZariIsTheBest:** did you actually apologize?

 **gayforray:** he’s British

 **ZariIsTheBest:** true

 **Lancelot:** @ZariIsTheBest @MiniDarhk you guys good, do you want any snacks or something?

 **MiniDarhk:** since you’ve mentioned it, I could do with a veggie wrap

 **ZariIsTheBest:** and a halal wrap for me

 **grunt:** I want a wrap with pork and bacon and lots of cheese

 **Lancelot:** Okay, anyone else wants me to be their personal servant and bring them dinner?

 **Lancelot:** I’m not cooking it though

 **notbarryallen:** we wouldn’t ask that of you

 **ZariIsTheBest:** we’ve all been victims of your cooking skills, it’s an experience you don’t want to do again, no offence

 **Lancelot:** None taken, I’m a much better assassin than I am a cook, all I can make are sandwiches

 **rayofsunshine:** I’m actually starving, the fighting really wore me out.

 **gayforray:** but we can get our own food, thanks, won’t bother the ship mom unlike someone

 **Lancelot:** Ship mom?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you kinda are

 **ZariIsTheBest:** and you asked so I thought it was okay

 **Lancelot:** It is, really

 **notbarryallen:** I’m always hungry so a bucket of chicken wings would be amazing, sara

 **Lancelot:** Yes, sir

 **AgentGeek:** We don’t need anything, as we’re already dining

 **Lancelot:** Yeah, on chocolate cake, I can see

 **Trenchcoat:** Are you judging, Sara?

 **Lancelot:** Nope

 **notbarryallen:** I could use a piece of chocolate cake, spare one for the speedster?

 **Trenchcoat:** Sure, have at it, lad

 **notbarryallen:** thanks, john

 **ZariIsTheBest:** so he’s not wizard anymore? progress

 **Trenchcoat** **:** Don’t remind him

 **notbarryallen:** I actually started to like you

 **Trenchcoat:** That’s only natural with all this charm, and having saved your arses multiple times

 **grunt:** british spelling is weird

 **gayforray:** true

 **gayforray:** but the accent is so sexy on girls

 **gayforray:** and guys too if they’re not Constantine

 **AgentGeek:** I beg to differ

 **ZariIsTheBest:** oh yeah you forgot Gary’s got a thing for his accent

 **Trenchcoat:** For my everything

 **Trenchcoat:** I’ve got a thing for him too

 **gayforray:** you two are… more than just fuck-buddies?

 **Trenchcoat:** Strangely so, yes, I didn’t exactly plan it but I really like the dungeons and dragons obsessed geek Gary Green who’s also a bloody good agent and you should appreciate him more

 **AgentGeek:** That was so sweet, John <3

 **AgentGeek:** I really like you too, you know

 **Trenchcoat:** Want to show me how much you like me?

 **AgentGeek:** When we’re done with this, it would be a shame to let this cake go to waste

 **notbarryallen:** and they’re at it again

 **notbarryallen:** I wouldn’t worry, I’d be happy to offer to finish the cake off

 **Lancelot:** Burritos incoming, you’re welcome

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you’re an angel

 **MiniDarhk:** thanks, captain

 **grunt:** thanks blondie

 **ZariIsTheBest:** this is great, bless Gideon

 **notbarryallen:** thanks for the wings

 **MiniDarhk:** time bureau doesn’t have such great food, seriously, can I stay

 **AgentGeek:** I know, right? We all get the same food, it’s not just you

 **MiniDarhk:** great to know

 **MiniDarhk:** lance, you’re the director’s girlfriend, maybe you could suggest improving the meal plan?

 **Lancelot:** What’s in it for me?

 **MiniDarhk:** I’ll promise I’ll be good

 **rayofsunshine:** Nonsense, you’re already good. You’ve helped us a couple of times, and you haven’t done anything even remotely evil for a while. And besides, can a bad person eat a veggie wrap and play Monopoly with us?

 **MiniDarhk:** shut up before I embarrass you in front of everyone, palmer

 **rayofsunshine:** You wouldn’t.

 **MiniDarhk:** I would

 **rayofsunshine:** Consider me shut-up.

 **Lancelot:** Well, maybe I won’t have to ask her to improve the meal plan, because maybe you won’t go back

 **Lancelot:** I said maybe, I still have to think this through

 **Trenchcoat:** Another magician could be useful

 **notbarryallen:** and when mick can be here, why couldn’t nora

**MiniDarhk: 😚**

**rayofsunshine:** I vote for her staying

 **Lancelot:** I take that into account, but there’s one more tiny problem, we don’t have enough sleeping quarters since one was turned into a gym

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I think I could share mine

 **ZariIsTheBest:** @MiniDarhk you don’t snore, do you?

 **MiniDarhk:** god, no

 **MiniDarhk:** you’d really do that?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** it’s not like I can watch ‘30s shows with someone else, we’ve decided it’s against the rules of time travel

 **ZariIsTheBest:** and I was okay to share with Wally, so I think we’re good

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you wouldn’t kill me in my sleep, would you?

 **MiniDarhk:** depends

 **ZariIsTheBest:** on what

 **MiniDarhk:** does your taste in movies include romcoms

 **ZariIsTheBest:** not unless they’re wlw

 **MiniDarhk:** good

 **MiniDarhk:** I fancy some hot chocolate, want some?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** sure

 **gayforray:** what just happened

 **notbarryallen:** do we want zari and nora to end up together too

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Wally, no

 **notbarryallen:** what, I’m getting a bit of a gay vibe from that

 **ZariIsTheBest:** don’t say another word

 **Lancelot:** Wally’s right

 **Lancelot:** But I’m not sure if I’d want that to happen

 **ZariIsTheBest:** thank you, sane person

 **gayforray:** you were so adamant about getting me and Ray together (thanks for that, btw), but here you don’t do anything, I’m in awe

 **ZariIsTheBest:** imagine my best threatening glare

 **MiniDarhk:** you can add the feeling of gasping for air as I hold your throat

 **gayforray:** ok, I give up, but seriously, guys

 **notbarryallen:** that’s a mood

 **MiniDarhk:** how’s the sandwich, heywood, are you choking on it yet

 **gayforray:** Ray makes the best sandwiches in the world

 **rayofsunshine:** Thanks, Nate <3

 **rayofsunshine:** I still need a swim, though.

 **Lancelot:** Just get in the tub and pretend it’s a really small pool

 **rayofsunshine:** It’s too small for two people.

 **Lancelot:** Ava and I fit in just fine

 **notbarryallen:** you’re bathing together now @rayofsunshine @gayforray 👀

 **gayforray:** *showering

 **gayforray:** saves the water

 **rayofsunshine:** We’re huge fans of ecology, you know.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** sure

 **MiniDarhk:** your infinite excuses are adorable

 **Lancelot:** Just admit you can’t get your hands off each other

 **gayforray:** busted

 **rayofsunshine:** Really, though, it does save the water on top of being a private place to make out.

 **Lancelot:** I second that

 **ZariIsTheBest:** this chocolate is amazing, Nora

 **MiniDarhk:** the one thing my dad got right

 **notbarryallen:** again with the texting in the same room

 **ZariIsTheBest:** my mouth is full

 **ZariIsTheBest:** of chocolate, you pervs

 **notbarryallen:** I didn’t say anything

 **ZariIsTheBest:** but you were about to

 **Lancelot:** I see Ray and Nate disappeared

 **MiniDarhk:** they weren’t in the kitchen anymore when I was there

 **notbarryallen:** do I hear music from the bathroom?

 **MiniDarhk:** what’s going on in there

 **Lancelot:** What music

 **notbarryallen:** idk, can’t recognize it

 **notbarryallen:** sth upbeat

 **MiniDarhk:** someone’s kinky

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I love the two of them but I don’t wanna know what’s happening behind that door

 **ZariIsTheBest:** where’s Ava, anyway?

 **Lancelot:** Working :(

 **notbarryallen:** too bad

 **Lancelot:** Since everyone seems to be busy, do you want to practice martial arts or something, Wally?

 **Lancelot:** In normal speed

 **notbarryallen:** why not, I haven’t done it in a while

 **notbarryallen:** @grunt want to join us?

 **Lancelot:** I guess not, it’s been two minutes

 **notbarryallen:** he’s probably taking an after-dinner nap

 **Lancelot:** That’s his loss, at least we’ll have more fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didn't mean to ship zari and nora, okay, it just sort of happened. these characters are living their own lives in this fic, i swear.
> 
> that being said, they won't be together (unless you guys really want them too???), it's more of a crack ship, really.


	13. i hate musicals

**2018/08/14**

 

 **gayforray** **:** who’s ready to see mamma mia here we go again?

 **notbarryallen:** I’ve been looking forward to that for a year!!!

 **Lancelot:** I didn’t know you liked musicals, Nate

 **gayforray:** musicals? I LOVE them

 **ZariIsTheBest:** yeah, you haven’t seen him dance around the kitchen and sing off-key after he watched moana?

 **Lancelot:** Nope, I missed that

 **Lancelot:** Such a shame

 **grunt:** I hate musicals

 **gayforray:** well, you haven’t seen this one, Mick

 **rayofsunshine:** It’s ABBA!

 **grunt:** abba… wasn’t that the horrible song about napoleon

 **gayforray:** Waterloo!!!

 **grunt:** thanks pretty, now it’s in my head again

 **gayforray:** sorry

 **ZariIsTheBest:** didn’t you use the memory flasher to erase the song?

 **grunt:** that was in your time loop reality

 **ZariIsTheBest:** right, the Waterloo mission was the one I was stuck in Gideon’s mainframe after

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I remember Ray always tripped over on those platforms, it was kind of hilarious

 **rayofsunshine:** That really happened, and it wasn’t nice.

 **Trenchcoat:** I also hate musicals

 **AgentGeek:** No!!!

 **AgentGeek:** You’ve disappointed me, John

 **Trenchcoat:** Sorry, love, but I don’t see the point in them

 **Trenchcoat:** And it doesn’t make sense how everyone always knows the song and dance moves unless they were cursed or something

 **Lancelot:** John does have a point

 **gayforray:** yeah, of course it doesn’t make sense, but it’s not supposed to, it’s just supposed to be fun

 **AgentGeek:** ^^

 **gayforray:** the central city theater is screening it at 7 today, who’s going with me?

 **MiniDarhk:** why go to the theater when you can watch every movie ever made on the ship

 **gayforray:** for the experience, Nora

 **rayofsunshine:** Yes.

 **MiniDarhk:** ok

 **MiniDarhk:** in that case, I’m going

 **notbarryallen:** me too, obviously

 **ZariIsTheBest:** count me in

 **rayofsunshine:** Needless to say, I’m going too.

 **Lancelot:** Ok, I won’t break the party, and I can’t miss the fun

 **AgentGeek:** Same

 **MissTimeBureau:** Sara and I haven’t been to the movies together for ages, it’s a date <3

 **Lancelot:** Making out in the cinema? Always

 **MiniStein:** Can I join you, guys?

 **gayforray:** of course, Lily!

 **gayforray:** what about you @Jaxon

 **Jaxon:** mamma mia? ok why not but can i bring carly, we were supposed to go out today

 **gayforray:** fine by me

 **rayofsunshine:** I’d love to meet her!

 **AgentGeek:** This isn’t fair, everyone’s bringing a date, and my boyfriend hates musicals

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I’m not bringing anyone, we can be single buddies

 **MiniDarhk:** and me too

 **notbarryallen:** I think we’ve established you two don’t count

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I beg your pardon?

 **notbarryallen:** you stick together now

 **MiniDarhk:** but we’re still single, that does count. do your math

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Wally’s single too, not everyone has a date, Gary

 **AgentGeek:** @Trenchcoat you have to come. For me

 **AgentGeek:** Pleaseee

 **Trenchcoat:** Rory’s not going either, I don’t see the problem here

 **AgentGeek:** But I need you

 **Trenchcoat:** Say that again

 **AgentGeek:** I need you. I don’t want to go by myself with them

 **AgentGeek:** Sex and breakfast?

 **Trenchcoat:** Ah, you know me all too well, don’t you, love?

 **Lancelot:** John, I’m not exactly a fan of musicals either, but I’m still going because this is family and family sticks together

 **gayforray:** ship mom called us family, aww

 **MissTimeBureau:** Should I be jealous?

 **Lancelot:** Don’t worry, you’re my family too, Aves <333

 **Trenchcoat:** Sara’s more of an annoying sister, though, blackmailing me like this

 **notbarryallen:** yeah, ray and nate are the real dads

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Mick is the grumpy uncle who always has a beer

 **notbarryallen:** me and zari are the kids and nora is the new foster kid

 **ZariIsTheBest:** John is the teenage son who wants to be anywhere but here, and Sara is the responsible eldest daughter with an equally responsible girlfriend who looks after us

 **gayforray:** Sara? responsible?

 **Lancelot:** Nate isn’t wrong

 **Lancelot:** I’m more like the eldest daughter who is tired of everyone else’s shit so she takes matters into her own hands

 **gayforray:** let’s pretend I didn’t notice the dad comment and ask @grunt if he really wants to be the only one stuck on the ship while we’re having fun

 **grunt:** I won’t be stuck on the ship, I’m gonna go to a bar

 **notbarryallen:** suit yourself, uncle

 **grunt:** I’m nobodys uncle

 **ZariIsTheBest:** if you say so

 **Trenchcoat:** Can I go to a bar with Rory?

 **grunt:** no

 **Trenchcoat:** Then I guess I’m going to the bloody musical with Gary

 **Trenchcoat:** Not with you lot, with Gary

 **AgentGeek:** I want to kiss you right now

 **Trenchcoat:** Come here and do it then

 **AgentGeek:** Alright I’m coming and doing it

 **Trenchcoat:** <3

 **ZariIsTheBest:** told you he’s the son who wants to be anywhere but here

 **MiniDarhk:** you’re absolutely right

 **MiniDarhk:** I’d rather be anywhere but here too

 **ZariIsTheBest:** but you wanted to stay

 **MiniDarhk:** I do, it’s just, it’s hard being around you and not thinking about everything I’ve done

 **rayofsunshine:** We’re not saying it’s not hard for us too, but we’re trying, and so can you.

 **rayofsunshine:** I told you the Legends are here to give people second chances.

 **notbarryallen:** and mess with time, and be gay

 **gayforray:** mood

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you’re one of us now, Nora

 **MiniDarhk:** even if I’m not gay

 **rayofsunshine:** So you’ve figured it out?

 **MiniDarhk:** not really

 **MiniDarhk:** still don’t know if I like women

 **notbarryallen:** I’m sure zari would help you with that

 **ZariIsTheBest:** stop with that already, Wally

 **rayofsunshine:** Anything’s fine, Nora, you’re one of us anyway.

 **MiniDarhk:** thanks, palmer

 **gayforray:** I just hope a magical fucker won’t show up within the next two hours and won’t have to go and stop it instead of seeing the movie

 **rayofsunshine:** Babe, you jinxed it. Why did you have to jinx it? I hate you sometimes.

 **gayforray:** no you don’t

 **rayofsunshine:** No, I don’t.

 **rayofsunshine:** But right now I do, a little bit.

 **gayforray:** I’m sorry, everyone

 **Lancelot:** Two words: time machine

 **Lancelot:** Let’s go and get the ghoul who thought 1953 New Orleans was a good place to settle down in, team!

 **Trenchcoat:** I hate ghouls, they’re vile creatures, and this one had to set up shop in New Orleans of all places, the irony’s just rubbing in my face

 **AgentGeek:** Can they actually eat you?

 **Trenchcoat:** They only feed on the dead, love, but it’s nothing nice

 **notbarryallen:** yikes

 **Lancelot:** What happened in New Orleans?

 **Trenchcoat:** Papa Midnite lives there, the voodoo tosser

 **Trenchcoat:** It doesn’t matter, you don’t know him

 **ZariIsTheBest:** did you know ghouls come from Arabic mythology? I’ve heard a lot about them as a kid

 **ZariIsTheBest:** always gave me the shivers

 **Trenchcoat:** And now you’re gonna meet one

 **ZariIsTheBest:** why did you have to jinx it, Nate

 **gayforray:** told you I was sorry

 **Lancelot:** Put your phones down and gear up, big sister’s orders

 **ZariIsTheBest:** roger that

 **notbarryallen: 👍**  

 

 **gayforray:** so now when the ugly thing’s down, brace yourselves for

 **gayforray:** MAMMA MIA, HERE I GO AGAIN

 **notbarryallen:** MY, MY, HOW CAN I RESIST YOU

 **AgentGeek:** MAMMA MIA, DOES IT SHOW AGAIN

 **gayforray:** MY, MY, JUST HOW MUCH I’VE MISSED YOU

 **grunt:** no

 **Trenchcoat:** Why do you have to make this day even more miserable

 **AgentGeek:** Excuse me, John, I thought you agreed to go with us

 **Trenchcoat:** I’m starting to regret my life choices

 **Lancelot:** Only now?

 **Trenchcoat:** Why so cynical, love?

 **Lancelot:** …

 **ZariIsTheBest:** says John Constantine, the embodiment of cynicism

 **ZariIsTheBest:** anyhow, I love old movies, I’m excited to see the premiere

 **gayforray:** don’t tell me you’ve seen it before

 **ZariIsTheBest:** alright, I won’t

 **notbarryallen:** that’s not fair

 **MiniDarhk:** when is life ever fair?

 **notbarryallen:** nora’s asking the real questions here

 **Jaxon:** where do we meet u, in front of the theater? at 6:30?

 **MiniStein:** Yes, I’d like to know that too.

 **Lancelot:** That’s about right, we’ll have enough time to buy tickets and snacks

 **Jaxon:** great

 **Jaxon:** lookin forward to it

 **MiniStein:** So am I!

 **MissTimeBureau:** I think we can all agree seeing a happy movie is what we all need at the end of the day we had.

 **rayofsunshine:** And an ABBA movie at that.

 **gayforray:** it’s great that everyone here loves them

 **ZariIsTheBest:** except Mick and John

 **notbarryallen:** let’s be real, abba are the gay icons, we all love them

 **Jaxon:** 80s music is gay pass it on

 **Lancelot:** Honestly

 **ZariIsTheBest:** okay wait for the first song of the movie

 **AgentGeek:** No spoilers, please

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I wasn’t gonna say anything else, I know you’d lock me in the brig or something if I spoiled it for you

 **gayforray:** that sounds like something we might do

 **MiniDarhk:** I saw the movie too when I was 17

 **AgentGeek:** Shut up, Nora

 **MiniDarhk:** you’re angry when it comes to movies

 **ZariIsTheBest:** geeks are like that

 **gayforray:** can confirm

 **AgentGeek:** Sorry

 **Lancelot:** Everyone who’s from the future is excluded from debates about the movie until we’ll all have seen it, all right?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** aye, captain

 **MiniDarhk:** all right

 **rayofsunshine:** Since you’ve mentioned it, it’s almost 6:30 Central City time. Are we good to go?

 **Lancelot:** Yup, ready to fly

 **ZariIsTheBest:** we’re on our way to the bridge

 **notbarryallen:** strapped in

 **gayforray:** HERE WE GO

 **MiniDarhk:** again

**notbarryallen: 👏**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i saw mamma mia! here we go again on saturday, so of course it inspired me to write this the next day.


	14. [interlude] musical

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> directly follows the previous chapter. 
> 
> thank you again for the positive feedback and loving this fic <3

‘That was awesome!’ said Nate as the screening room gradually emptied, one dark figure getting up and leaving after another. The credits were rolling to the end. He still had a wide grin plastered to his face.

Ray was holding his hand and rubbing circles across his thumb. ‘I know!’

‘Why did it have to end so soon, though?’ asked Wally, and Nate nodded in agreement. Wally emptied his coke in one loud slurp.

John shot him a look. ‘Oh, thank bloody God it’s over.’

Gary whistled the melody to _Dancing Queen_ , and promptly stopped. His hand rested on John’s thigh. ‘Admit it, John, you loved it. I could see it on your face.’

‘No, I absolutely didn’t.’

‘You did,’ said Sara. In between making out with her girlfriend and enjoying the songs, she paid very good attention to the other team members, John in particular. Nate noticed.

‘Why am I even arguing with you,’ John noted. He prodded Gary’s shoulder. ‘Let’s go, love.’

Gary got up rather reluctantly. They were, in fact, the first ones from their twelve-member group to leave. Sara and Ava didn’t ease their departure in any way when they refused to get up, making John and Gary squeeze past them.

Zari bent forward to have a good look at everyone. No one else was keen to leave any time soon. ‘He doesn’t know what he’s saying, it was as awesome as watching it for the first time.’

‘Oh yes, definitely,’ agreed Nora. She and Zari seemed to agree on a lot of things lately.

Zari took a mouthful of her popcorn and offered the rest to Nora, who passed it to Nate. He was happy enough to throw it into his mouth. ‘Told you to wait for the first song,’ Zari referenced a text she’d sent earlier.

‘Donna is a bisexual icon,’ said Sara, ‘hell yeah. I’m living for that.’

Lily was excited. ‘Who wants to see it again?’

‘Me, definitely me,’ Nate answered with his mouth full of sweet popcorn, and Ray accompanied him with a raise of his arm. It was adorable.

Wally laughed, also humming the tune of the last song. ‘So do I!’

‘Doesn’t everyone?’ Jax practically had to shout to be heard from the other end of the row.

‘Good point, Jax. Good point. But we should go now before they chase us out of here.’ Sara pointed at the nervous cleaner pacing by the exit, broom and dustpan in hand.

‘Aye, captain.’ Ray’s hand never left Nate’s as he extracted himself from the comfortable seat and got up.

The rest of the crew followed suit, noting to find Mick before they head back to the Waverider. The lyrics of _Mamma Mia_ randomly alternating with _Dancing Queen_ occupied Nate’s mind, and he hasn’t felt as exhilarated by anything since his first kiss with Ray.


	15. ok but vines though

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think this is the longest one yet?? enjoy!

**2018/08/15**

 

 **rayofsunshine:** I’ve been hiccupping for ten minutes now, any tips on how to get rid of it? I think I’ve tried everything.

 **Lancelot:** Hold your breath

 **notbarryallen:** sugar

 **MiniDarhk:** eat some candy

 **grunt:** have a shot of something strong

 **MissTimeBureau:** Drink some water.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** honey helps too

 **notbarryallen:** or fruit jelly

 **Trenchcoat:** Eat a spoon of sugar or jam

 **notbarryallen:** that’s what I said

 **Trenchcoat:** Right, you Americans, calling jam “jelly” and jelly “jello”

 **notbarryallen:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **gayforray:** you Brits put extra unnecessary letters everywhere, I think we’re even

 **MiniDarhk:** the pants thing and the chips thing really must be confusing for you @Trenchcoat

 **Trenchcoat:** Don’t even get me started on that

 **ZariIsTheBest:** @rayofsunshine how’s the hiccups, did it stop?

 **rayofsunshine:** Unfortunately, it didn’t, but I haven’t tried jelly yet.

 **notbarryallen:** even peanut butter worked for me once

 **ZariIsTheBest:** juicy fruits help too

 **rayofsunshine:** Thank you, guys.

 **notbarryallen:** you’re welcome

 **Lancelot:** How come Nate didn’t help you, Ray 👀

 **rayofsunshine:** I’ve convinced him to take a nap after he’s been awake for over 40 hours.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I thought he was on caffeine high when I saw him earlier

 **Lancelot:** I told him to take a break from the research yesterday, but did he listen to me?

 **notbarryallen:** as if you didn’t know nate

 **rayofsunshine:** A spoonful of jelly really helped, wow. I’ve never thought of that.

 **notbarryallen:** it was my mom’s way

 **notbarryallen:** anyway, I was invited to a family dinner tomorrow so I’m gonna need the jumpship, is that ok?

 **Lancelot:** Of course, Wally

 **notbarryallen:** cool

 **Lancelot:** Say hello to Barry and Iris from me

 **rayofsunshine:** Say hello from Nate and me too!

 **notbarryallen:** will do

 **notbarryallen:** I miss my little sister

 **Lancelot:** I hope you miss the big one too, for your own good. Because I do

 **notbarryallen:** of course I do, I’m a good bro

 **gayforray:** hey gang what did I miss

 **Lancelot:** You mean besides a regular sleep schedule?

 **Lancelot:** Nothing much

 **rayofsunshine:** I’ve had one hell of a hiccups.

 **gayforray:** baby I know, you’ve woken me

 **ray** **ofsunshine:** Sorry.

 **MissTimeBureau:** I always say drinking lots of water is the best method, how come it didn’t help?

 **MissTimeBureau:** Again, I’m a failure.

 **Lancelot:** Nonsense, Aves. What always helps you didn’t help Ray, so what? Everyone’s different

 **MissTimeBureau:** I guess it’s nothing.

 **MissTimeBureau:** It’s just that I’m having a royally bad day.

 **Lancelot:** Leave everything and portal yourself on the ship, dear, it’s an order

 **Lancelot:** I’m gonna make you feel better

 **MissTimeBureau:** Thank you, Sara, I appreciate it <3

 **Lancelot:** We can listen to music and cuddle, okay?

 **MissTimeBureau:** Yeah. Love you.

 **Lancelot:** Love you too

 **rayofsunshine:** Is Ava all right?

 **Lancelot:** It’s nothing I couldn’t make go away

 **AgentGeek:** Boss has a lot on her shoulders now and gets anxiety attacks

 **AgentGeek:** Sorry, that probably wasn’t mine to say

 **MissTimeBureau:** It wasn’t, Gary, but it’s fine. No one’s perfect.

 **MissTimeBureau:** Especially when you’re a damn clone.

 **Lancelot:** Ava, we’ve talked about that. You’re still you even if you were born in a factory. You’re irreplaceable, and I love you. If I can fight my darkness, so can you. Now come to me

 **MissTimeBureau:** That did help a bit.

 **MissTimeBureau:** I’ll be right there, so you better be in bed :)

 **Lancelot:** That’s the Ava I know

 **Lancelot:** Everyone, not a word about this

 **ZariIsTheBest:** don’t worry, Sara, we’ve got you

 **gayforray:** yeah

 **notbarryallen:** I know a great mental exercise to help ease anxiety, so if you needed me, I’m here

 **Lancelot:** Thanks, guys

 **Lancelot:** Now go back to whatever shenanigans you were up to, I’ve got a human-sized sushi roll to take care of

 **gayforray:** do you secretly like memes, Sara?

 **gayforray:** sorry I won’t bother you

 **notbarryallen:** “how to care for a sad person” “lay sad person in blanket, roll them like a sushi”

 **gayforray:** [ _image attached_ : roll.png]

 **Lancelot:** Of course I like memes, I’m not that old

 **gayforray:** never said you were

 **gayforray:** ok but vines though

 **ZariIsTheBest:** what are vines

 **gayforray:** WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY?

 **notbarryallen:** nate how are those chicken strips?

 **gayforray:** FUCK YA CHICKEN STRIPS...FUCK ya chicken strips!

 **ZariIsTheBest:**???

 **gayforray:** vines, Zari, are a part of American culture

 **notbarryallen:** yeah, even black panther and avengers quote them

 **ZariIsTheBest:** still don’t know what this is about

 **rayofsunshine:** Come on, everyone knows Vine.

 **MiniDarhk:** not when you’re from the future

 **gayforray:** …and they were roommates

 **notbarryallen:** mah god they were roommates

 **MiniDarhk:** WoW

 **gayforray: 👏**  someone knows what’s good for her

 **MiniDarhk:** HoW dO yOu kNoW wHaT’s gOoD fOr mE

 **gayforray:** keep ‘em coming baby

 **ZariIsTheBest:** this is too much

 **ZariIsTheBest:** did you just ask Gideon to play me the most popular vines?

 **notbarryallen:** that was me

 **ZariIsTheBest:** okay, I admit, it’s quite funny

 **AgentGeek:** Did someone mention vine?

 **AgentGeek:** Tweekle tweekle

 **notbarryallen:** that one isn’t even that funny

 **Trenchcoat:** I’m not pretending to understand what’s going on here

 **AgentGeek:** Hey did you happen to go to class last week?

 **Jaxon:** i have never missed a class!

 **Trenchcoat:** Seriously, what demon possessed you lot?

 **AgentGeek:** We have to fix your ignorance of vines, John

 **Trenchcoat:** I don’t think so, love

 **AgentGeek:** You’ll change your mind yet

 **gayforray:** yeah, John, you liked the musical and we all know it

 **Trenchcoat:** I most certainly didn’t

 **AgentGeek:** You did. You told me

 **Trenchcoat:** Traitor

 **AgentGeek:** Love you

**Trenchcoat: 🖕**

**gayforray:** so you’re there now 👀

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you do realize Gary probably didn’t mean it ironically @Trenchcoat

 **Trenchcoat:** Didn’t he?

 **AgentGeek:** Well

 **AgentGeek:** He meant both

 **notbarryallen:** john, you’re in trouble

 **ZariIsTheBest:** it’s been what, three months

 **AgentGeek:** Four, and that’s long enough

 **Trenchcoat:** Most of my relationships didn’t even last this long

 **AgentGeek:** Same

 **AgentGeek:** I’ve only had one girlfriend in high school and a boyfriend in college

 **Trenchcoat:** Are you saying I’m your third?

 **AgentGeek:** In a way

 **AgentGeek:** I’ve had sex with a lot of people

 **ZariIsTheBest:** who would guess

 **gayforray:** let’s not forget he’s slept with Sara

 **MissTimeBureau:** HE DID WHAT

 **gayforray:** I should’ve known that would summon you

 **AgentGeek:** She seduced me so she could steal my Time Bureau access card, I’m sorry, Director

 **MissTimeBureau:** We’ll talk about it later, Gary.

 **MiniDarhk:** anyone else has a feeling that lance – sharpe – constantine – gary is sort of a love rectangle

 **MissTimeBureau:** Ew.

 **Trenchcoat:** Pet’s captured it perfectly

 **AgentGeek:** Sara did sleep with all of us and is now in a relationship with the Director, I used to have a crush on my boss, and I’m in a relationship with John

 **MissTimeBureau:** I did not need this image in my head on such an awful day, Gary, thank you.

 **notbarryallen:** but to be fair zari, ray, nate and amaya kinda had a weird thing too

 **notbarryallen:** now if you add nora

 **MiniDarhk:** let’s not forget about rory, kid

 **MiniDarhk:** but there is no weird thing between me and anyone

 **notbarryallen:** oh yeah, the rumor was mick could’ve ended up with literally anyone on this ship

 **ZariIsTheBest:** hey @rayofsunshine why didn’t you add Amaya? surely you can think of something that would enable intertemporal communication

 **ZariIsTheBest:** if intertemporal is a word

 **rayofsunshine:** It is a word, and I haven’t actually thought about that… It’s a good idea, Zari!

 **MiniDarhk:** are you sure you want to add heywood’s ex now when you’re dating him

 **gayforray:** nah, Amaya and I are cool, she’d be happy for us

 **gayforray:** I think she actually had a secret crush on Zari

 **ZariIsTheBest:** she did???

 **gayforray:** sometimes I felt that way, idk

 **ZariIsTheBest:** that’s great because I might’ve had a crush on her too

 **rayofsunshine:** Oh, really?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** yeah

 **ZariIsTheBest:** not something I was proud of

 **notbarryallen:** bc you thought she was straight?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** yeah, and wait a second, she was also from 1942 and dating Nate

 **MiniDarhk:** ^^ all that says “not a good idea to add her”

 **notbarryallen:** are you jealous?

 **MiniDarhk:** no, why would I be jealous?

 **gayforray:** because you’re totally flirting with Zari?

 **MiniDarhk:** I’m not

 **ZariIsTheBest:** she’s not

 **notbarryallen:** uh huh

 **rayofsunshine:** @MiniStein do you still have the device Martin gave you to be able to talk to you through time?

 **MiniStein:** I do, why?

 **rayofsunshine:** Sorry if it’s inappropriate, but could I ask you to give it to me so we could talk to Amaya back in 1942?

 **MiniStein:** Don’t worry, it’s not inappropriate. It’s not like I need it anymore, is it?

 **rayofsunshine:** I’m sorry.

 **MiniStein:** Don’t be. Will you come over, or?

 **rayofsunshine:** I can take the jumpship and drop by.

 **MiniStein:** Great!

 **notbarryallen:** ray, master of subtly changing the topic

 **rayofsunshine:** I don’t actually do that on purpose.

 **gayforray:** I know, that’s the best thing about you

 **rayofsunshine:** That’s the best thing about me?

 **gayforray:** no, your brain and your body are

 **rayofsunshine:** My brain is inside my body.

 **gayforray:** you know what I meant

 **rayofsunshine:** That you love all of me.

**notbarryallen: 👀**

**gayforray:** yeah, 👀

 **rayofsunshine:** What?

 **gayforray:** you used the l-word

 **rayofsunshine:** I didn’t say I love you, I said you love me. Ironically.

 **notbarryallen:** still

 **gayforray:** guess what, I do

 **gayforray:** love you

 **rayofsunshine:** You do?

 **rayofsunshine:** I mean, this is awkward. But. I love you too, Nate.

 **gayforray:** aww <3

 **Lancelot:** What just happened

 **ZariIsTheBest:** today’s packed with confessions, wouldn’t you say

 **ZariIsTheBest:** it was about time, guys

 **notbarryallen:** it was sweet

 **MiniStein:** You are adorable.

 **gayforray:** @Lancelot how’s your sushi roll

 **Lancelot:** We’re being lazy girlfriends on my bed, both very much wrapped like sushi rolls

 **Lancelot:** [ _image attached_ : blanketbabies.jpeg]

 **Lancelot:** And I’d appreciate it if you didn’t talk about my love life, thank you

 **Trenchcoat:** That was that idiot of mine

 **AgentGeek:** Sorry, Sara

 **Lancelot:** Apology accepted if you won’t do it again

 **AgentGeek:** I’ll try

 **notbarryallen:** ok anyone else wants to say they love someone

 **grunt:** I love beer

 **notbarryallen:** I didn’t see that coming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gayestearp (have i mentioned i love your username?) asked, where is amaya? and i asked myself that too. so, surprise! they're gonna add her to the chat!
> 
> and in case you're wondering, yes, i normally write in british english, and i have to triple-check everything in case i left an extra unnecessary letter somewhere, lol. because it happens, and i usually find out after i've posted it. so, i apologise if you see something an american wouldn't write/say. i don't have a beta for this fic.


	16. [interlude] 1942

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's [my tumblr](http://casterlys.tumblr.com), come talk to me if you want!

‘Raymond, what are you doing here? Nathaniel left about an hour ago. I thought this was over.’

He wanted to run to her and hug her tight; he missed his friend. But Amaya didn’t know it’s been four months for them, so he approached her slowly. She has already changed into her traditional Zambesian clothes, a colourful tunic wrapped round her body and a scarf covering her hair.

‘Yes, well, as for _legending_ , that’s over,’ he said, ‘but I’ve come to give you this.’ Ray stretched out a hand. It revealed the other half of Martin’s communication device. ‘So you could talk to us. I made some adjustments.’

Amaya glanced at it, and then at Ray. Disbelieve and mistrust sparked in her eyes. ‘I can’t take this, Raymond.’

‘Of course you can. It’s not like you’re staying on board,’ he objected. A confession slipped out, ‘We miss you.’

‘How long has it been for you?’ Amaya was a clever girl.

Ray made the calculation. ‘Four months on the dot.’

‘And you’re still on the ship? Saving time?’ she smiled at that.

‘Turned out that our little stunt with Malice opened a portal to another dimension, and lots of mythical and magical creatures escaped. We’ve even met a unicorn. You’d like that.’

Her smile was sad now. ‘You’re right, I would.’

Ray took her hand and placed the device into it. ‘Just take this, you don’t have to use it. The batteries are solar-powered, and I’ve installed a keyboard, so you can text across time,’ he explained. ‘How cool is that?’

‘Very cool.’ She turned it upside down, tried to turn it on. ‘Thank you, Raymond.’

‘Well, it was Zari’s idea,’ he admitted.

‘Of course it was,’ Amaya spoke with fondness in her voice. She went and laid the device on a small table.

Ray took in the furnishings of her humble cottage. ‘Anyway, I should go. It was nice to see you.’ He didn’t know if a hug was appropriate or no, so he stood in front of her awkwardly until she decided for him and pulled him in.

‘I saw you an hour ago,’ she said, ‘it’s a little strange.’

Ray pulled away and turned to leave. Amaya cleared her throat. ‘Raymond, wait,’ she paused, ‘how is Nathaniel?’

‘Great, he’s great. We’re great,’ Ray smiled.

He was absolutely, definitely leaving out the fact he was dating Nate now.

He left the cottage and got in the jumpship.


	17. amaya!!!

**2018/08/16**

 

 **rayofsunshine** _added_ **Vixen** _to_ **Legends of Gay™**

 

 **ZariIsTheBest:** AMAYA!!!

 

 **ZariIsTheBest** _changed_ **Vixen’s** _name to_ **animalgirl**

 

 **rayofsunshine:** Welcome to our group chat, Amaya.

 **animalgirl:** Hi, Raymond, Zari. How exactly does this work?

 **rayofsunshine:** Through the Waverider, although your little device works a bit differently, I have to admit, I haven’t quite figured Martin’s blueprints out. The important thing is, you can talk to us now!

 **MiniDarhk:** oh hey totem bearer

 **animalgirl:** What is she doing here?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** she kind of lives here now

 **ZariIsTheBest:** with me

 **Lancelot:** Yeah, quite a lot has changed since you left. Hello again, Amaya!

 **animalgirl:** Hi, Sara.

 **animalgirl:** I haven’t been on the Waverider for four months, from your perspective. What disaster have you caused this time?

 **notbarryallen:** that’s a long story

 **grunt:** hello dread pirate jiwe

 **animalgirl:** Is that you, Mick?

 **grunt:** yeah, who else?

 **animalgirl:** Is Nathaniel here too?

 **notbarryallen:** yeah but I think he’s offline

 **notbarryallen:** this is wally btw, in case you can’t tell

 **animalgirl:** Why do you have these names?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** why not, they’re fun

 **ZariIsTheBest:** so how’ve you been?

 **animalgirl:** It’s been three days for me, Zari, nothing really happened here.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** hey, Sunshine, maybe you haven’t exactly thought this through

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you traveled to the exact moment after Nate left?

 **rayofsunshine:** Yes, I did. I see your point now.

 **MiniDarhk:** you could wait for four months and then set this exact date on your phone thing so we’d be aligned

 **MiniDarhk:** just an idea

 **animalgirl:** I don’t like you. You stole my totem and used it for evil purposes.

 **MiniDarhk:** but

 **animalgirl:** But that isn’t such a bad idea.

 **rayofsunshine:** If you think you can handle not talking to us for four months, it’s a great idea.

 **animalgirl:** We’ve all handled staying out of touch for longer than that, I think I’ll live.

 **animalgirl:** All right, I’m saying goodbye for now.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** bye, Amaya, and don’t have too much fun without us

 **notbarryallen:** bye

 **Lancelot:** Goodbye

 **rayofsunshine:** See you later!

 **grunt:** bye

 **notbarryallen:** ok ray, seriously now, you’re in trouble

 **MiniDarhk:** imagine the fun if she scrolled up and saw you and heywood confessing your love to each other three days after she broke up with him

 **rayofsunshine:** Nate said she’d be okay with us, and I chose to trust him…

 **ZariIsTheBest:** but you didn’t tell her when you visited her

 **rayofsunshine:** No, it was an hour for her, I’m not stupid.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I hope she won’t read the part I said I had a crush on her

 **Lancelot:** I hate to burst your bubble, but she will just read this ^^

 **ZariIsTheBest:** shit

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I’ll just shut up

 **MiniDarhk:** want something from the kitchen when I’m here, tomaz?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I think I’m good, thanks

 **ZariIsTheBest:** are you eating snacks with Ray?

 **MiniDarhk:** he’s drinking his disgusting butter coffee

 **MiniDarhk:** why couldn’t we hang out?

 **rayofsunshine:** Yeah, why couldn’t we?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** never mind

 **notbarryallen:** I’m in the mood for some games, wanna play, zari

 **ZariIsTheBest:** sure, but I pick the game

 **notbarryallen:** ok

 **gayforray:** @rayofsunshine baby come back here

 **rayofsunshine:** I thought you were asleep, so I went and had a coffee.

 **gayforray:** I was asleep and now I’m not

 **gayforray:** I don’t like waking up in an empty bed

 **Lancelot:** How long have you been awake doing research now, Nate?

 **gayforray:** why

 **Lancelot:** Sleeping in the middle of the day instead of the night isn’t exactly healthy

 **gayforray:** thanks, mom, but it’s not like that

 **Trenchcoat:** They shagged

 **gayforray:** obviously

 **Lancelot:** Ohh

 **Lancelot:** Good for you

 **Lancelot:** Who drinks butter coffee after a shag???

 **MiniDarhk:** palmer

 **rayofsunshine:** You say that like it’s weird.

 **Trenchcoat:** It is

 **Trenchcoat:** Tea I get

 **rayofsunshine:** Self-evidently, because you’re English.

 **rayofsunshine:** I’m coming back now, want to watch Doctor Who again?

 **gayforray:** why do you even ask

 **gayforray:** always

 **Trenchcoat:** And you want to leave us out of it?

 **MiniDarhk:** yeah

 **gayforray:** ok, fine, you can come but not like right now

 **gayforray:** I have to put on some clothes first

 **ZariIsTheBest:** video games canceled, we’re coming too

 **notbarryallen:** we thought it was a team thing now, and you just wanna leave us out? not fair

 **rayofsunshine:** I’m glad you all like it!

 **Lancelot:** New ground rule: we watch that show together

 **gayforray:** if you agree we watch the future stuff once we’re done with the first 10 seasons

 **Lancelot:** Only if Gideon says it’s safe enough

 **rayofsunshine:** She agreed, we all heard it. It’s a deal then!

 **animalgirl:** Hello again!

 **animalgirl:** I’ve missed you guys.

 **gayforray:** Amaya?

 **gayforray:** looks like I’ve missed a lot this time

 **animalgirl:** Who are you?

 **gayforray:** I’ll give you three guesses

 **animalgirl:** Nathaniel?

 **gayforray:** yup, that’s me

 **gayforray:** how are you, girl?

 **animalgirl:** Good, it took some getting used to this life again, but it was the right decision.

 **animalgirl:** How are you?

 **gayforray:** NORA STOP TYPING

 **gayforray:** I’m pretty amazing, thanks for asking

 **gayforray:** wait, is that the answer you expect, or

 **animalgirl:** It’s okay if you’ve moved on, Nathaniel.

 **animalgirl:** Why is your name… that?

 **gayforray:** about that

 **MiniDarhk:** he’s moved on a bit more than you’d expect, the name pretty much says it all

 **gayforray:** I’ll kill you, Darhk

 **MiniDarhk:** sorry, can’t

 **gayforray:** about three and a half months after you’ve left, I started dating Ray

 **gayforray:** I know that’s not easy to hear, but you needed to know

 **notbarryallen:** I might’ve made that username

 **MiniDarhk:** they’ve even said they love each other

 **animalgirl:** Why are you like this?

 **animalgirl:** It’s a lot to process, but I’m happy for you, Nathaniel. Truly.

 **gayforray:** @rayofsunshine told ya

 **animalgirl:** But let’s face it, you two had the eyes for each other even before we were together.

 **rayofsunshine:** Has it really been that long?

 **Lancelot:** Absolutely

 **Trenchcoat:** I’m glad I haven’t been on the ship then

 **notbarryallen:** I’d actually love to see them 2 yrs ago

 **animalgirl:** Is that Constantine?

 **Trenchcoat:** The one and only, love

 **MiniDarhk:** if you want more news, he’s dating gary the geek now

 **animalgirl:** Really? I’d never guess that would happen.

 **Lancelot:** None of us would, and yet

 **Trenchcoat:** Not even I saw that coming, believe me

 **AgentGeek:** Same

 **AgentGeek:** I’ve had the best nights of my life with John

 **AgentGeek:** And days too

 **AgentGeek:** Just, good time in general

 **Lancelot:** You love him, we know

 **MiniDarhk:** has he said is back

 **Trenchcoat:** …

 **Trenchcoat:** Why do you care about my love life so much, it’s like you have no life of your own

 **ZariIsTheBest:** we love gossip, haven’t you heard

 **notbarryallen:** yeah, we kinda care about everything

 **gayforray:** and it’s true, we have no life

 **gayforray:** we just talk here and watch movies

 **grunt:** and talk about movies all the time

 **animalgirl:** I see that much hasn’t changed after all.

 **grunt:** they still love star wars

 **gayforray:** you wrote that correctly, I’m proud of you, Mick

 **grunt:** whatever

 **animalgirl:** Grunt, that’s a fitting name.

 **notbarryallen:** also mine

 **ZariIsTheBest:** so, Nate, are you fully dressed now so we could come to watch doctor who

 **gayforray:** affirmative

 **MiniDarhk:** I book the spot in the corner of the bed, don’t take it again

 **notbarryallen:** (unless you want to be strangled)

 **MiniDarhk:** you’re right, kid

 **rayofsunshine:** Don’t worry, we’ll keep it for you.

 **animalgirl:** Do I understand it correctly, Nathaniel and Raymond are on the bed together, and Nora Darhk is on the other side?

 **gayforray:** Zari usually squeezes between us too

 **gayforray:** Sara, Ava, John and Gary sit on pillows on the floor

 **gayforray:** Mick’s at the table and Wally never stays in one place

 **notbarryallen:** I get bored easily if I’m not meditating

 **animalgirl:** That’s… interesting.

 **MiniDarhk:** got a problem? I don’t kill anymore if that’s what bothers you

 **animalgirl:** Yeah, that’s not very reassuring.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Amaya, darling, things are different now. a week ago I wanted to swipe her ass off the ship and now we’re living together and sometimes I can’t believe it either

 **notbarryallen:** so have you kissed already

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Wallace West, I’m gonna say this for the last time, shut up

 **MiniDarhk:** yeah, she’s just my annoying roommate

 **ZariIsTheBest:** _I_ am _your_ roommate?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** and I’m not annoying, thanks

 **notbarryallen:** do you want me to quote that vine again

**MiniDarhk: 🔪**

**MiniDarhk:** couldn’t really find a fireball emoji

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I think I’m going to code some Waverider-appropriate emojis and add them to this

 **rayofsunshine:** Good idea!

 **Lancelot:** Everything is a good idea according to you

 **gayforray:** ^^

 **ZariIsTheBest:** do tell

 **gayforray:** that’s personal

 **Trenchcoat:** I love how you assumed it was something dirty

 **ZariIsTheBest:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **notbarryallen:** I found our theme song

 **notbarryallen:** [ _video attached_ : [exo_history.mp4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdejiaoEhFc)]

 **gayforray:** dude, that’s in Korean

 **ZariIsTheBest:** again with the kpop, Wally?

 **notbarryallen:** what, it’s dynamic

 **notbarryallen:** and I lived in china for a while

 **notbarryallen:** not to mention we’ve got those universal translators, or google

 **Lancelot:** That’s actually good

 **AgentGeek:** Does anyone here like anime

 **ZariIsTheBest:** NO

 **notbarryallen:** YES

 **gayforray:** I do

 **animalgirl:** What’s anime?

 **animalgirl:** Not that I understand half of the things you’re saying, or want to understand.

 **notbarryallen:** japanese cartoons

 **animalgirl:** Oh.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I’m impressed Nate hasn’t shown you that

 **gayforray:** we spent a lot of time on other things

 **animalgirl:** Yeah.

 **gayforray:** with Ray, it’s mostly the movies

 **rayofsunshine:** Speaking of, can we finally watch the show now?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** @animalgirl you want to facetime with us

 **gayforray:** facetime suddenly has a wholly new meaning

 **animalgirl:** Not really, I shouldn’t be away from my people for too long, but thanks for the offer.

 **Lancelot:** Ava says she can’t come on board

 **AgentGeek:** Pity

 **Trenchcoat:** It’s just the three of us on the floor then

 **Lancelot:** Why

**Trenchcoat: 😈**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i always listen to music writing this, and it's either lana del rey or kpop. there's no in between. so, naturally, i project my music into this. sorry, not sorry. 
> 
> really, though, click the link, listen to it, and find a translation for the korean version.


	18. are you talking about donuts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly, i can't believe this fic is receiving so much love and attention. when i started writing it, i was like, no one's gonna read this, why am i even doing it, oh god. i love you guys <3

**2018/08/22**

 

 **animalgirl:** I would kill for a donut, oh my God.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** are you reading my mind?? I’m eating one right now

 **animalgirl:** You’re joking.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** nope

 **animalgirl:** I suppose you can’t send objects through time?

 **rayofsunshine:** No, sadly, we can’t.

 **rayofsunshine:** I mean, we can, but we can’t affect when and where they’ll end up.

 **animalgirl:** Too bad.

 **gayforray:** we’ve made donuts before, on that day you left

 **gayforray:** you could make some again

 **animalgirl:** That would be a great idea, Nathaniel, if I remembered the recipe.

 **rayofsunshine:** No problem, I can send it, if you think you can get all the ingredients.

 **animalgirl:** That is a problem.

 **animalgirl:** We don’t have half of the ingredients in 1942 Africa.

 **notbarryallen:** yikes

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I’m sorry girl

 **ZariIsTheBest:** does this help? [ _image attached_ : zarisdonuts.jpeg]

 **animalgirl:** You made it worse, Zari.

 **animalgirl:** But thank you.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** yeah

 **grunt:** are you talking about donuts

 **grunt:** I want some

 **ZariIsTheBest:** sure, Mick, come to the kitchen

 **Trenchcoat:** I don’t get your doughnut obsession

 **MissTimeBureau:** They’re the best stress snack.

 **Trenchcoat:** The what?

 **MissTimeBureau:** Stress snack. If you’re having a bad day at work, you have a donut or two and things always get better.

 **notbarryallen:** I agree with your philosophy

 **AgentGeek:** We always have a box at Time Bureau

 **AgentGeek:** Jitters make the best donuts ever

 **animalgirl:** Please, stop talking about them.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you started it, Amaya

 **animalgirl:** I know.

 **animalgirl:** Who knew that the things I’d miss the most about the future would be sweet pastry and hygiene pads.

 **Lancelot:** Yikes

 **Lancelot:** I can’t imagine what that must be like

 **animalgirl:** Very bad.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** girl, I’m sorry for you

 **animalgirl:** Don’t be, I’ve lived like this most of my life.

 **animalgirl:** The fresh air, undisturbed nature, and beautiful sunsets make up for it.

 **MiniDarhk:** really

 **animalgirl:** Mostly.

 **MiniDarhk:** so, have you met that future husband of yours who you had to abandon team legends for yet

 **animalgirl:** I’ve been back for four months.

 **MiniDarhk:** so

 **animalgirl:** No, I haven’t, and I don’t see how that’s any of your business.

 **gayforray:** thank you

 **MiniDarhk:** almost sounds like you’re jealous, heywood

 **gayforray:** I’m not

 **gayforray:** I knew that would happen

 **gayforray:** and besides, I have my man now

 **ZariIsTheBest:** speaking of, remember how we said we’d throw you a party

 **gayforray:** yeah?

 **notbarryallen:** zari and I have prepared a little something in the kitchen

 **rayofsunshine:** You’re serious?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** absolutely

 **ZariIsTheBest:** the donuts were kinda for you but Mick ate them all so I made more

 **gayforray:** great, that’s great

 **animalgirl:** What party?

 **MiniDarhk:** a party to celebrate the official start of their relationship

 **animalgirl:** You love doing this, don’t you?

 **MiniDarhk:** I don’t know what you’re talking about

 **animalgirl:** Teasing me because I’m not on the ship anymore.

 **MiniDarhk:** no clue,

 **Trenchcoat:** I don’t care for your relationship but someone said party so I’m coming

 **Lancelot:** You’re just pretending you don’t care, but you actually do, I’ve seen through your “I’ve been damned to hell and don’t give a fuck about anything” act

 **Lancelot:** Just come here, John

 **MissTimeBureau:** But you don’t have to. Just saying.

 **Trenchcoat:** Now I’m definitely coming

 **gayforray:** I thought you were past this rivalry by now

 **MissTimeBureau:** I would be, but John here keeps being the immature one and making my life unpleasant in multiple ways.

 **Trenchcoat:** I am the immature one, pet? Really?

 **gayforray:** if you hang out at the Bureau with Gary every day like we all think you do, I can’t say I blame Ava

 **MissTimeBureau:** Thank you.

 **gayforray:** now, if you stop bickering for a while and enjoy this drink in honor of me and Ray, I’d be grateful

 **Trenchcoat:** You’re enjoying this, aren’t you? Being celebrated?

 **gayforray:** yeah, I do, thanks for asking

 **gayforray:** but let’s not forget this is about me and my amazing boyfriend

 **gayforray:** so drag your ass here, Constantine

 **rayofsunshine:** You called me amazing? That’s sweet <3

 **gayforray:** <3

 **MiniDarhk:** how are you handling this, animal girl

 **animalgirl:** I’ve said so before, I wish them all the best. They’re sweet.

 **MiniDarhk:** do I sense a little sarcasm in that

 **animalgirl:** I’m not talking to you anymore.

 **MiniDarhk:** great

 **rayofsunshine:** It means a lot to me that you’re not mad, Amaya.

 **animalgirl:** Of course, Raymond.

 **Jaxon:** have a drink on me guys

 **Jaxon:** it’s great ur together

 **gayforray:** thanks, Jax

 **gayforray:** I’ll never refuse a drink

 **animalgirl:** Yeah, we’ve all seen how that ends up.

 **notbarryallen:** some of us more times than others

 **notbarryallen:** #monopolynight

 **MiniStein:** Oh yes, that conversation.

 **MiniStein:** How come you’re celebrating without us?

 **Lancelot:** Sorry guys, but don’t ask me

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I might’ve forgotten about you, I’m sorry

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you should’ve said something earlier

 **Jaxon:** its fine

 **Jaxon:** im out with carly again anyway

 **notbarryallen:** say hi to her from me, bro

 **Jaxon:** will do

 **Jaxon:** she says hello to the legends of gay

 **Lancelot:** Yay

**ZariIsTheBest: ❤️**

**gayforray:** tell her the legends love her

 **Jaxon:** very subtle, nate

 **Jaxon:** but i did

 **animalgirl:** I have to ask, why did you name this chat “Legends of Gay”?

 **Lancelot:** Technically, it should be called Legends of Bisexual because that’s what the most of us are

 **Lancelot:** But bisexuals love saying they’re gay a lot, so that’s why

 **notbarryallen:** and pansexuals

 **ZariIsTheBest:** let’s not forget about me, an actual gay person

 **MissTimeBureau:** And me, Sara’s lesbian girlfriend.

 **notbarryallen:** the name was also my idea

**notbarryallen: 🌈**

**animalgirl:** So you’re all…?

 **gayforray:** yup

 **Jaxon:** same here

 **MiniStein:** I’m straight, but everyone loves me.

 **MiniDarhk:** true

 **MiniDarhk:** I’m still questioning

 **rayofsunshine:** If I weren’t rayofsunshine, Lily would be.

 **AgentGeek:** You’re not prejudiced or something, are you, Miss Jiwe?

 **AgentGeek:** Just asking

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I’ll kill you one day, Gary

 **AgentGeek:** Isn’t that like, against your religious beliefs

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I’m a time traveler, I’m pretty sure I could find a loophole

 **AgentGeek:** Ok I’m quiet

 **animalgirl:** Of course I’m not prejudiced, I’ve learned a lot about the future and I know things are different there. I just think it’s a nice coincidence, that’s all.

 **MiniDarhk:** heywood said you had a crush on zari, is that true

 **animalgirl:** What part of “not talking to you” didn’t you understand?

 **MiniDarhk:** doesn’t say I can’t talk to you

 **Jaxon:** nice avoiding the subject, amaya

 **animalgirl:** Thank you, Jax.

 **animalgirl:** If you must know, I admit I liked Zari a little bit more than a best friend, but that’s in the past.

 **Jaxon:** past, future, its all mixed up here

 **ZariIsTheBest:** oh boy

 **ZariIsTheBest:** this is awkward

 **ZariIsTheBest:** why didn’t you say something?

 **animalgirl:** I was with Nathaniel at the time, Zari. And I wasn’t sure of those feelings, or proud of them. So I dismissed them.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** hearing you say that kind of hurts, actually

 **ZariIsTheBest:** because I thought exactly the same thing

 **animalgirl:** I’m sorry, Zari.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** well, bygones and all that, am I right?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** we’re still best friends

 **animalgirl:** If you can be best friends with someone living in 1942?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** it’s not the weirdest friendship I’ve had, believe me

 **ZariIsTheBest:** so of course I can <3

 **Jaxon:** carly says u should listen to this song cos its so u

 **Jaxon:** [ _video attached_ : [raye_friends.mp4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avybKfb3Ax0)]

 **ZariIsTheBest:** is she reading this conversation?

 **Jaxon:** maybe

 **Lancelot:** That’s a good song

 **Lancelot:** The lyrics remind me more of Amaya and Nora though

 **notbarryallen:** or nora and zari works too

 **MiniDarhk:** we are friends??

 **notbarryallen:** have you gotten to the fucking part yet

**MiniDarhk: 🔪**

**notbarryallen:** in the song lol

 **MiniDarhk:** ok this is so zari and amaya

 **ZariIsTheBest:** clearly the song is about girl hate, so I disagree with everyone

 **animalgirl:** I don’t like the song.

 **gayforray:** right, you like native African music only

 **animalgirl:** I didn’t say that, Nathaniel. I liked some of the music you played me.

 **gayforray:** some being the keyword

 **animalgirl:** That’s fair.

 **Lancelot:** Anyway, Amaya is officially one of us Legends of Gay, that’s pretty awesome

 **rayofsunshine:** Remember when we said we’d go to a Pride? We should take Amaya too.

 **rayofsunshine:** If you want, of course.

 **animalgirl:** What’s a Pride?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** seriously, girl? it’s a lgbt parade

 **animalgirl:** Oh, I see.

 **animalgirl:** I don’t know, I think it would be too tempting to meet you guys again, as much as I’d love that.

 **grunt:** come on, amaya

 **MiniDarhk:** why doesn’t she get a rory nickname?

 **gayforray:** he likes her enough to remember her name

 **grunt:** yeah

 **Trenchcoat:** Why is my name here a Rory nickname?

 **notbarryallen:** would you prefer wizard

 **Trenchcoat:** No, I’m good, kid

 **Trenchcoat:** So Rory wants to go to the parade with you now?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you mean with us

 **Lancelot:** We’re all going, John, no exceptions

 **Trenchcoat:** If you won’t make me wear an atrocious flag tie or something, I might tag along

 **Lancelot:** Now that’s an idea

 **Trenchcoat:** No

 **notbarryallen:** we should all wear flag ties, gideon can make them

 **grunt:** I’m not wearing a stupid tie

 **ZariIsTheBest:** would you rather wear a flag on your back as a cape?

 **grunt:** I’d rather wear no such thing

 **Trenchcoat:** I agree with Rory

 **animalgirl:** Maybe I can come with you, but only one trip, and I’m coming back, do you understand? I won’t let myself be pulled back in your adventures.

 **Lancelot:** We respect that, Amaya

 **Lancelot:** Soooo are you bi, or

 **animalgirl:** Is there any other label for liking men and women?

 **notbarryallen:** you’d be surprised

 **notbarryallen:** I myself am pansexual, that means I like men, women, trans people, nonbinary people, you know, just people in general, to put it simply

 **animalgirl:** I think Nathaniel told me about that at some point.

 **animalgirl:** I don’t know, I haven’t thought about it, in this society you’re supposed to marry a man and have children, that’s what life is about.

 **animalgirl:** That, and protecting the village with my totem.

 **Lancelot:** Okay, well, think about it, or not, it doesn’t really matter

 **Lancelot:** We’ll be happy to see you again

 **Lancelot:** Heteronormative society rules suck, here you can be awesome with the rest of us at least for a day no matter what you identify as

 **gayforray:** who said anything about a day, we can party for a week if we want to

 **notbarryallen:** oh yeah, let’s roll

 **Jaxon:** i like that attitude

 **rayofsunshine:** So, when are we doing it?

 **gayforray:** whenever we want, baby, we’re on a time ship!

 **Lancelot:** How about tomorrow?

 **MissTimeBureau:** Tomorrow?

 **Lancelot:** Yeah! Are you working, Aves?

 **MissTimeBureu:** I don’t have to, I’m the Director, you just surprised me.

 **gayforray:** you should know by now we’re all about rash decisions

 **MissTimeBureau:** Oh, I know.

 **Lancelot:** Jax, are you free to go? We can pick you up whenever

 **Jaxon:** i gotta work tomorrow but im free the next day round 10

 **ZariIsTheBest:** is Carly up for it?

 **Jaxon:** imma ask

 **Jaxon:** she’s not lgbt but says she’s going bc she can’t miss the fun

 **notbarryallen:** so it really is serious between you?

 **Jaxon:** yeah man, i like her a lot

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Amaya, are you ready for the party of your life?

 **animalgirl:** I suppose nothing so bad will happen if I leave for a day. I’m looking forward to it!

 **notbarryallen:** cool

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you’re coming too, right, Nora?

 **MiniDarhk:** obviously

 **ZariIsTheBest:** John and Gary?

 **AgentGeek:** I’ll make him wear a flag tie

**gayforray: 👌**

**Lancelot:** @MiniStein?

 **MiniStein:** Even straight people can do that, right? If so, count me in, Ronnie can stay with Daddy again. Turns out it wasn’t a disaster the last time.

 **Lancelot:** We’ll pick you up at your house.

 **Lancelot:** So, everything’s set? We’re going to pride?

 **notbarryallen:** we’re going to pride, babyyy

 **notbarryallen:** which one?

 **gayforray:** first the 1970 one, and then the central city one this year, and then we’ll see

 **Lancelot:** Mama approves


	19. [interlude] party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! i'm going to my grandma's for a week, and i'll be offline. well, most of the time. i'll be on mobile wi-fi when i go do the shopping, but that still means no updates for a week. i'm sorry. but know i'll write many chapters while i'm away, because that where it all started in the first place. i have a lot of time on my hands when i'm unplugged, and that means only one thing - writing!!! so yay! i'll have stuff to post again. i'm always a few chapters ahead when i post, and now i'm all caught up, so. i need it. anyway. i hope you can survive a week without this fic. lol. i love you.

Sara raised her champagne glass. ‘To Nate and Ray!’

‘To Nate and Ray!’ everyone repeated after her, glasses in the air, full and bubbling.

The men in question were blushing a deep shade of red, and grinning widely, teeth and all. Wally hooted. John, standing next to Ray, nodded in approval and gave him an encouraging pat on his arm (someone was in good mood today).

Nate placed his fingers on Ray’s chin and tilted his head to face him. A soft kiss ghosted over his lips. His gaze lingered.

‘Go on then, drink up!’ said Sara, and emptied half of her glass.

Zari gulped down her apple juice, and Mick drank his beer from a glass forced upon him by the captain. The others, Ray included, took a sip of their champagne, and unlike Sara, savoured it slowly.

Ray considered this ridiculous party rather unnecessary, but Nate was enjoying himself immensely, so he tried to have a good time too. Just looking at everyone at the table being happy for them, being a family, was enough to lift his spirits.

Nate was beaming. He sat down and checked his mobile; typed something.

Sara was the only one still on her feet. ‘And now it’s time for doughnuts and ice cream! Dig in!’

Wally pressed a button on a remote, and music started playing. Ray didn’t recognise the band. It was something fast and bursting with energy.

One of Nate’s hand squeezed Ray’s under the table, and his fingers intertwined with his. The other one took another gulp of his drink and then reached for a bowl of cookie dough ice-cream.

Mick grabbed a chocolate and a strawberry doughnut; John refilled his empty glass; Gary snatched the mint & chocolate ice-cream and two spoons; Nora nibbled on a doughnut; Zari devoured her doughnut; Wally ate one spoon of chocolate ice-cream after another and added small chocolate doughnut pieces to it; Ava and Sara shared vanilla ice-cream and shot adoring glances at each other.

For a minute, everything was perfect.

(But only for a minute. Because then Nora started teasing Amaya over text again.)


	20. [interlude] midnight talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> surprise surprise! two in one day! but this is last thing i've got, so i decided to post it now too. 
> 
> it's just a random thing, and i don't even know if it fits here. but i had the idea in the middle of the night and had to write it.

Nora looked at the poorly lit empty room, and at nothing at all. ‘Do you really believe in all the stuff you’re saying? That everyone can be redeemed, everyone can get a second chance?’ she asked quietly. ‘Especially among the wretched band you Legends are?’

The body beside her shifted. ‘You mean we,’ Ray stated. There was a silence. Nora filled it with the sound of her hand fishing for pretzels. ‘Yes, of course I believe it, because it’s true; I mean, look at Mick. He used to be a thief and an arsonist. He’s family now. That’s what the Legends are about, providing a new home to those who don’t fit.’

She chewed on her snack, then said, ‘Thanks, Palmer.’ She looked at him, sitting on his bed next to her. She didn’t even know why she was here.

Ray beamed. ‘You’re welcome!’

Nora’s gaze landed on her feet, tucked under Ray’s duvet. ‘You know, I don’t really know what to do now. I feel like my whole life revolved around my dad,’ she crunched on some more pretzels, ‘he pretty much determined my role in all of this without asking what I wanted. He pulled me into his world, and then he died, but he couldn’t leave me alone even in death.’ She sighed. She felt Ray’s eyes on her. ‘He made sure I had a demon in me so he could come back. Because he knew I still loved him.’

Ray moved his feet and smothered the crases on the blue duvet. Unsuccessfully. ‘Well, we’re here to help you figure your place in the world now when the demon’s dead,’ he smiled. ‘We all carry darkness inside us, you know. Fighting our demons. Sometimes literally.’

‘Yeah, except you, Palmer. You’re a total ray of sunshine.’

‘Thanks, I guess.’

Nora scoffed. ‘That was a compliment.’ She grabbed a handful of pretzels and occupied her mind with chewing.

Ray was still looking at her. ‘Yeah, I get it. People say that a lot.’

‘Well, from what I’ve seen, it’s true.’ She put the packet down and played with her hair. She tied it into a ponytail.

Ray yawned. ‘If you need help, or if you need to talk, just know I’m here. You can fight this, Nora, I know you can. You can fight your past. Show us the real Nora Darhk.’

‘You mean like the best version of me? Wonder where I’ve heard that one before.’

‘It’s a typical philosophical movie line,’ Ray laughed. ‘Now, pass me those pretzels, you can’t have them all for yourself.’ She handed the packet. Ray ate some. ‘Want to watch something?’

Nora nodded. She brushed crumbs off of her pyjamas. ‘Sure.’


	21. why are you guys awake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm back! with only three new chapters, but one of them is super long. like, very long. the pride one. so, stay tuned! ily <3

**2018/08/23**

 

 **ZariIsTheBest** _added a set of custom emoticons to the chat_

 

 **ZariIsTheBest:** so you wouldn’t say I don’t make good on my promises

 **rayofsunshine:** Is that a tiny Waverider? This is so cool!

 **notbarryallen:** yay

 **notbarryallen:** nora here’s your fireball

 **MiniDarhk:** I see *fireball*

 **Lancelot:** There’s also a canary, I like that

 **Lancelot:** *canary*

 **Lancelot:** But it’s five in the morning, have you spent all night working on it?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** might have, yeah

 **gayforray:** our sleep schedule is so messed up

 **Lancelot:** Don’t tell me, you’re in the library

 **gayforray:** is it really five in the morning? wow

 **gayforray:** why are you guys awake

 **notbarryallen:** I’m just super hyped about pride

 **ZariIsTheBest:** so am I 🌈

 **notbarryallen:** *pansexual flag heart*

 **rayofsunshine:** *pansexual flag heart*

 **AgentGeek:** These new emojis are so cool *bisexual flag heart*

 **Lancelot:** Seriously, who else is up at such crazy hour?

 **gayforray:** you, for one

 **Lancelot:** Fair

 **MiniDarhk:** I’m pretty sure I heard rory go to the bathroom

 **gayforray:** his steps are so loud, am I right

 **MiniDarhk:** yeah

 **MiniDarhk:** tomaz, you should shut that tablet down and go to bed. your notification woke me up.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** sorry

 **notbarryallen:** not to pry but

 **notbarryallen:** do you have one or two beds 👀

 **ZariIsTheBest:** two, thank you very much

 **notbarryallen:** and do you sleep in both

 **MiniDarhk:** *fireball* at you, west

 **ZariIsTheBest:** yes, we sleep in both. I sleep on the right side of the room and Nora is on the opposite side, very far away from me. is that clear enough for you, Wally?

 **Lancelot:** Seriously, though, go to sleep. We can talk at breakfast like normal people

 **rayofsunshine:** Hey! I actually have an idea. We should invite all our LGBT friends to go with us, like Curtis or Alex Danvers! I’m fairly certain they’d love to go with us.

 **Lancelot:** Alex Danvers?

 **rayofsunshine:** Yes, what’s wrong with that? She is a lesbian, right?

 **Lancelot:** From a different Earth, for one

 **rayofsunshine:** Cisco gave me one of his portable portals, actually.

 **gayforray:** portable portals. that’s clever

 **Lancelot:** It’s actually a breach, not a portal

 **Lancelot:** And I like that idea! I swear we never actually get together like normal people

 **MiniDarhk:** you want to add even more people to this mess

 **gayforray:** yeah, why not? it’s gonna be fun

 **notbarryallen:** more flag ties to fabricate

 **notbarryallen:** so who are we talking about anyway?

 **notbarryallen:** definitely cisco and barry, and I know this kid hartley who’s gay

 **rayofsunshine:** Curtis and Rene and Felicity from Team Arrow.

 **gayforray:** wait, Barry Allen?

 **notbarryallen:** he’s ace

 **gayforray:** oh

 **ZariIsTheBest:** #teamace *asexual flag heart*

 **rayofsunshine:** And as far as I know, half of Team Supergirl.

 **MiniDarhk:** great, that’s great. so many superheroes in one place

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you should’ve seen it when we all teamed up to beat those Earth-X Nazis

 **MiniDarhk:** you did what

 **ZariIsTheBest:** wait, you don’t know about that, do you? it’s kind of a long story

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Zari Is Offline

 **notbarryallen:** if barry’s coming, so is iris

 **notbarryallen:** I’ll get to go to pride with my sister, that’s cool

 **gayforray:** so you’ve already told her you’re pan?

 **notbarryallen:** yeah, I delivered a whole speech on that family dinner

 **AgentGeek:** Wow, I admire you

 **notbarryallen:** thanks, I think

 **notbarryallen:** dad took it quite well actually and iris was excited

 **AgentGeek:** That’s great, you’re lucky, my family wasn’t so accepting

 **notbarryallen:** yikes, that sucks, man

 **AgentGeek:** But I’ve got a cool boyfriend now so everything’s fine

 **notbarryallen:** ok I texted cisco and barry and told them to text hartley

 **notbarryallen:** does anyone actually have a number of anyone from team supergirl?

 **Lancelot:** I don’t think so

 **rayofsunshine:** I called Felicity, and she said she’d be excited to go with us, that it’s great, and that she’ll ask Curtis and Rene. So, that’s settled!

 **Lancelot:** We could probably just jump through a breach and ask Kara in person, I mean, what could happen, right?

 **gayforray:** I agree

 **Lancelot:** Screw this, I’m gonna go have a cup of coffee since it looks like no one’s coming back to sleep

 **Lancelot:** Anyone cares to join me?

 **gayforray:** I’ve been drinking coffee and diet mountain dew for hours

 **gayforray:** one more can’t hurt me

 **rayofsunshine:** If it means you’ll stop researching what all we know about genies and admit we know nothing, you should definitely do that, and take a shower, and come to our room.

 **notbarryallen:** excuse me did I just read “our room”

**Lancelot: 👀**

**rayofsunshine:** Nate moved here two days ago, we thought it was a reasonable solution.

 **gayforray:** I was kinda living there anyway

 **notbarryallen:** you’re taking things fast

 **rayofsunshine:** Is that fast? I don’t even know.

 **gayforray:** off topic but I’m surprised Zari isn’t lurking here again

 **notbarryallen:** god knows what she and nora are doing right now

 **Lancelot:** I’d rather not know

 **ZariIsTheBest:** are you talking about me

 **ZariIsTheBest:** @ Nate and Ray that’s great news, I’m lowkey astonished

 **MiniDarhk:** why didn’t you pick me up sooner, I could’ve thrown fire at nazis

 **MiniDarhk:** that sounds like fun

 **gayforray:** Nora, DON’T

 **MiniDarhk:** what, it’s parallel universe nazis, we’re allowed to kill them, right?

 **Lancelot:** Yeah, it’s questionable

 **grunt:** I hate nazis

 **rayofsunshine:** Mick, we know.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** everyone hates them

 **MiniDarhk:** @grunt did you just join or have you been reading this the whole time

 **grunt:** just joined

 **grunt:** I heard sounds in your room

 **grunt:** so I checked and saw you were talking about nazis

 **notbarryallen:** sounds???

**gayforray: 👀**

**ZariIsTheBest: 🖕**

**ZariIsTheBest:** it was just laughter

 **gayforray:** now I need to hear more

 **MiniDarhk:** apparently you aren’t allowed to make bad jokes about nazis and demons

 **ZariIsTheBest:** shut up

 **ZariIsTheBest:** just so we’re clear

 **ZariIsTheBest:** we’re both in our designated beds

 **ZariIsTheBest:** [ _image attached_ : noras_bed.jpeg]

 **notbarryallen:** it’s funny how defensive you always get when we mention you and nora

 **gayforray:** honestly

 **notbarryallen:** both of you

 **gayforray:** you might deny it but things are real there

 **notbarryallen:** remember those two idiots we were trying to get together when this all started

 **gayforray:** excuse me, neither of us is an idiot, we have multiple phds

 **Lancelot:** And too much coffee

 **Lancelot:** I can see that with my own eyes

 **Lancelot:** Fuck, we’re gonna be so tired today

 **notbarryallen:** guys cisco yelled at me for texting him at 5:27 am

 **notbarryallen:** like, in a text

 **notbarryallen:** but he says he can’t miss it

 **notbarryallen:** and you’re right, sara

 **gayforray:** it’s a party, we’re gonna come alive in no time

 **ZariIsTheBest:** that ^^

 **ZariIsTheBest:** and just a reminder, the fact that I’m a lesbian doesn’t mean I like all women. Nora is my friend, end of story

 **gayforray:** if you say so 😁

 **MiniDarhk:** do I have any say in that?

 **MiniDarhk:** yes, we are only friends, just as palmer and me or zari and amaya

 **grunt:** your friends with haircut?

 **MiniDarhk:** why do people still think it’s weird?

 **MiniDarhk:** okay, fair, I also think it’s weird, or unexpected at least

 **Lancelot:** You know, there’s a lot of sexual tension between all the people you mentioned

 **rayofsunshine:** Me and Nora? What? There’s no tension between us.

 **rayofsunshine:** We talk. As friends.

 **gayforray:** not anymore, but

 **gayforray:** baby, there definitely was something

 **MiniDarhk:** I beg to differ

 **rayofsunshine:** See?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** and amaya and I figured it out, thanks very much

 **notbarryallen:** is it gonna be too weird when both nora and amaya will be going to the prides

 **MiniDarhk:** why would it be weird? I gave the totem back, didn’t I?

 **MiniDarhk:** and tomaz is dating neither of us so I don’t see the problem

 **MiniDarhk:** maybe you’re the problem, you’re a bit annoying sometimes

 **gayforray:** well, maybe not dating, but you know

 **notbarryallen:** well, sorry for annoying you, miss darhk

 **ZariIsTheBest:** she didn’t mean it like that

 **MiniDarhk:** she’s pretty sure she did, but maybe it’s because she still thinks this is no hour to be awake at and wants to go the fuck to sleep for at least a few more hours

 **Lancelot:** Then do it, no one’s stopping you

 **Lancelot:** I may have given up but only because I wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep anyway

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Ava isn’t here?

 **Lancelot:** Sadly she’s not

 **Lancelot:** Had to go away for some sort of last-minute mission

 **Lancelot:** And she’s probably still enjoying a good night’s sleep

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I’m sorry if I woke you up, guys, really

 **gayforray:** not me, I was already awake

 **gayforray:** but Ray’s passed out with his phone on his belly

 **gayforray:** it’s adorable

 **notbarryallen:** you can tell who’s a true night owl here

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Mick and Ray, everyone knows they don’t get up before 9

 **Lancelot:** I’m a wannabe owl

 **Lancelot:** I’d sleep till 10 every day if I could

 **gayforray:** you know whom we didn’t wake up at all

 **gayforray:** Constantine

 **Lancelot:** Guess Gary wore him out last night

 **ZariIsTheBest:** don’t make me think about that

 **notbarryallen:** here’s a different thought

 **notbarryallen:** in 4 hours we’re going to 1970 and it’s not for a case!!!

 **ZariIsTheBest:** that really is in four hours, isn’t it?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I probably shouldn’t have wasted this night coding emojis

 **notbarryallen:** pride flag hearts, zari, they’re important

 **gayforray:** because we’re going to pride in four hours

 **gayforray:** *rainbow heart* *bi flag heart* *pan flag heart* *ace flag heart* *trans flag heart*


	22. [interlude] pride

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this is pride chapter!!! those of you who got a notification saw the word count but i guess most of you didn't. 9,482k words. the programme i wrote it in counted it as ~11k but ms word says fewer. still. it's a lot. so enjoy!
> 
> note: i've never been to a pride (yet) so my knowledge of it comes from the internet, friends' pictures, and sense8. also there's some unexpected angst here. oops.

‘I’m not wearing this.’ It was a statement. Mick held the tie like it was a dead rat.

Sara was unimpressed. ‘Come on, Mick.’ She was on the verge of a whine.

Wally, who just finished tying his fashionable pansexual-flag headband around his head, offered to use his speed to coil it round his neck. Sara considered allowing him to do it, but Ava’s hand on her forearm stopped her from uttering the words.

‘Don’t make him wear it if he doesn’t want to,’ she said, looking at Mick with a furrowed brow. Her rainbow tie was proudly on display, adding a nice dash of colour to her outfit.

‘Okay, but he’s the only one,’ Sara said, ‘it will be weird.’

Even John Constantine switched his regular red tie for a pink-purple-blue one, if messy as always. Gary, strangely, possessed an ability to make John do something he wanted.

‘I didn’t have to wear anything to the last one, why do I have to now?’

Ray turned to him to answer. ‘Because in the past, people didn’t march adorned with flowers and waving twenty different flags in the air, but they do now, Mick.’

Nate pointed at his boyfriend’s T-shirt. ‘That.’

‘I said no,’ Mick grumbled, and it was the end of that argument.

Ray and his painstakingly bright pansexual flag T-shirt stepped in front of Sara. ‘Do we have ties for our non-time-traveller friends?’

‘Yeah, I have them, don’t worry about it,’ she answered and checked her mobile for any texts. She noticed the time. Louder, she said, ‘Alright, finish up dressing, we’re leaving in five.’

Ava gave her a fond smile. ‘Always the captain, are you, Sara?’

‘Someone has to get this band in order, or else we’d never even get the dishes done.’ She leant close enough to smell Ava’s almond shampoo. Then she pressed a quick kiss on her cheek and headed toward the bridge.

Zari, Nora, John, and Gary were already seated, having a passionate debate about something Sara suspected was Dungeons and Dragons, nearly shouting at each other. Zari and Nora were wearing rainbow flower crowns and leaning close to each other to be closer to the two men, who have chosen to sit on the opposite side of the circle. Or so Sara hoped. She didn’t know what to think of the two of them. She didn’t want to think about them, to be frank.

She assumed her seat and swung one leg over another while she waited for the rest of the team to come over. The debate slowly died down. Zari must have noticed Sara staring at them.

‘So we’re good to go?’ she asked.

‘Yup, Central City Pride is waiting!’

Zari smiled. ‘Great!’

Ray and Nate arrived, holding hands. They were laughing about something only they shared. Behind them walked Ava in her elegant costume, and Sara lit up on instinct.

How did she ever became so lucky, after all the darkness she’s been through?

Ava gave her a tiny wave before sitting down next to Gary. Ray and Nate took the seats in the middle, and before they buckled up, Wally ran into the room and messed up everyone’s hair with his speed. He plopped down next to Nora, leaving Mick to sit next to Ray. Mick, who was in no hurry to get over there. How typical of him.

Two minutes later, he finally claimed his seat. Sara prepared herself to fly. ‘This year’s Pride is in two weeks, so we’re going to the 2017 one, it’s better than travelling to the future. But first, we have to pick our friends up, so there’s gonna be a small detour,’ she said, ‘after that, it’s party all day long!’

Everyone cheered, some clapped their hands. Sara turned round in her chair and set the coordinates for 1942 Zambesi first. The Waverider took off and left 1970 New York behind, entering the green whirl of the time vortex (as Ray insisted they call it). The flight was short and smooth; soon, they were welcoming Amaya in the cargo hold with hugs and kind words.

Zari held her the longest. ‘I’ve missed you, girl,’ she said, and she was excited.

‘I missed you too,’ Amaya replied and let her go. She cast a murderous glance at Nora and went to hug Ray. He was beaming. Nate was clearly happy to see her again and wanted to embrace her, but his brain reminded him she’d left him and he was with Ray, so he did nothing, only stood and stared and didn’t know what to think.

Sara gave her a bisexual-flag coloured flower crown, identical to her own, and hugged her shortly. ‘Welcome back!’ she said.

‘I’m glad to be back, but I _am_ coming back to my village after this is over.’

‘Yes, and we all respect that, Amaya.’

Sara led her and the others to the bridge. Too late did she realise there weren’t enough seats on the Waverider, so she had to tell Mick to go sit in the library, which left Amaya with an unfortunate choice of sitting either next to Nora or Nate, as he and Ray switched seats.

In the end, she picked the seat next to Nate, and gave him an awkward smile.

‘Why do I have to be the one going to the library,’ Mick complained as he shuffled over to one of the armchairs. ‘It’s always me.’

Sara shouted over the chatter of her team-mates, ‘Don’t worry, Mick, you’re about to have company soon!’

She lifted the ship off the ground and plotted her course to 2018 Central City, where their friends were waiting for them in the car park in front of Star Labs. It was easier that way than picking them up one by one in their homes.

‘Central City, here we go,’ Nate said, and once again, they were swallowed by the eternal tunnel of the time vortex. The journey was longer this time.

Sara landed smoothly on the empty car park, and just as before, everyone got up and hurried to the door, excitement in their eyes and pride flags all over their bodies. Ava and she were the last to leave the bridge.

Wally opened the door, and slowly as it moved, it revealed the heads of Barry Allen and his wife Iris, Cisco Ramon, a grinning man who could be no one else but Hartley Rathaway, Jax, Lily, Curtis Holt, Rene Ramirez, and Felicity Smoak with Oliver’s son, William. Their bodies followed. Some were already waving tiny flags in the air.

Wally ran to greet his sister and friends. Ray gave Felicity a hug and introduced himself to William. Sara finally walked down the ramp and said, ‘Hey, everyone. You ready to party?’

She hugged Felicity as well, and then Iris and Barry.

Barry shot his hand in the air. ‘Yeah!’ He was dressed in black, white, grey, and purple, being even more of a walking flag than Ray. Zari complimented his outfit and said, ‘Hey, ace club.’

‘Be damn sure we are,’ Cisco added, and gave Wally a high-five. He sported a T-shirt that claimed that “trans people are human too”. Clearly, they came better equipped than the crew of the Waverider.

Sara opened her bag and passed each person a respective tie of flower crown. Barry took a tie and put it round his neck speedily. Cisco chose a transsexual-coloured flower crown and grinned happily as he put it on. Hartley took both a rainbow tie and crown. Iris took one as well and laced her fingers with her husband’s. Curtis tied his tie around his head like Wally, and Rene copied him with his bisexual flag one, as did Jax. Lily hesitantly put the rainbow one on her head. Felicity grabbed a demisexual flag crown and set it atop her blonde hair, falling down on her shoulders.

‘Do you want one too, kid?’ Sara asked William.

He hesitated. Felicity nodded at him, and so he said, ‘Can I have the rainbow tie?’

Sara fished it out of her bag and handed it to him; there were many to spare. ‘Thanks,’ he said, and then asked Felicity to tie it for him.

Sara felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned round to see it was Ava. ‘Are we good to go?’ she asked.

‘I think we are,’ Sara answered, looking at the large group of rainbow-adorned people in front of her. She gave Ava a brief smile and walked over to Cisco, who was chatting with Nate and Ray. ‘Hey, Cisco, can you breach the entire ship to another Earth?’ she asked, pointing at the Waverider.

‘Can I breach the ship to another Earth? Of course I can do that, Sara, there’s no need to ask such a question,’ he said. ‘Which Earth would you like to go to, captain?’

‘Supergirl’s Earth.’

‘She’s coming with us too? Cool!’

‘Yeah, she and some of her friends,’ Sara confirmed. She put on an authoritative tone, ‘Alright, guys, get on the ship, we’re picking up Supergirl on Earth-38 and then we’re coming back here to finally join the pride!’

She headed back inside, and the crowd (yes, twenty people were a crowd, and definitely too many for the Waverider) around her started to move. Introductions were made on the way: the Legends’ new members didn’t know the others yet, and not everyone has met Hartley or William Queen. Not everyone was pleased with the situation, however; Mick ran off into the kitchen for a beer, and Nora seemed to glower at everyone who wasn’t Zari or Ray.

Hartley Rathaway was taken aback by the ship. He was looking around, mouth agape, and made comments that involved Star Trek or Doctor Who. Sara couldn’t blame the guy. He was the only one who hasn’t been on board yet.

‘Find any place to sit,’ she told the hovering group. ‘I think you can manage without chairs for a while. The ride should be smooth. Cisco,’ she found him next to Barry and Curtis, ‘do your magic.’

She lifted off.

‘Right away,’ he said as he scurried over to the front. Outside the window, he created a large, whirling breach to Earth-38, blue and gaping. ‘Here you go, captain, straight to Earth-38. Pun intended.’

A few people laughed. Sara entered the coordinates and pre-set the time jump to August 2017. She pulled the lever, and the ship left Star Labs behind. The breach closed immediately after it went through.

For a brief moment, they were in Earth-38’s version of Central City; it seemed somewhat brighter.  Sara clicked some buttons on the panel. The Waverider sped up and flew higher, toward National City, Supergirl’s home.

But then it entered the time vortex. Something was wrong.

‘What’s going on?’ Ray asked. ‘Aren’t we supposed to be flying to National City?’

Sara furrowed her brow. ‘Gideon, why did we time-jump?’

‘You’ve entered the date of the 12th of August, 2017, captain. The time jump is proceeding as scheduled by you.’

‘Right, I must’ve clicked the wrong button by accident,’ Sara said. ‘We _are_ going to National City, but in 2017. Our plan still stands, though.’

Strangely, she felt threads of relief deep down. In 2017, Kara hasn’t met Earth-X Nazis, and Alex hasn’t been locked up in an Earth-X labour camp. And she hasn’t met Sara yet. Things won’t get awkward. It was for the better that she accidentally jumped in time, in the end. Right?

‘Have we really just travelled in time?’ she heard someone say, an excited newbie. ‘That’s awesome!’ Now she recognised the voice. It belonged to Curtis.

‘I know, right?’ said Nate. ‘Forgot this was your first time. Most of you.’

‘Not me! I’ve time-travelled before,’ replied Felicity. ‘It really brings things to a wholly new level.’

‘I don’t know, man,’ said Rene. He looked around suspiciously. ‘First aliens, then parallel Earths, now time travels. Things are getting way too sci-fi for my liking.’

‘Oh, you’ll love it,’ Felicity spoke again.

‘Alright, show time’s over,’ Sara shouted. ‘We’re leaving the vortex now.’

The shiny silhouette of National City appeared above them. It was only a short way from there.

‘Do you really call it time vortex? Is that what it’s called?’ Barry asked Wally. The speedsters and Iris were sitting next to each other, in an easily won set of seats.

Wally answered, ‘Yeah, we call it that, but we don’t know what the Time Masters called it before. It was Ray’s idea. He kind of insisted on it.’

‘Time _Masters_? Now that’s a bit too much of irony, don’t you think?’ Cisco noted. ‘Or copying.’

‘At first, I thought they were trying to tell us something,’ said Ray, leaning over Nate to get closer to them. ‘Sounded too familiar.’

‘Seriously, is everyone here a fan of _Doctor Who_?’ Nora asked. She was sitting cross-legged on the floor between Zari and Ray. ‘What are the odds.’

‘Do you mean Oods?’ Cisco joked. Half of the crew laughed, and so did Sara. Lately, she’s gained a lot of useless knowledge of fictional alien races and planets, and possible versions of the past and future. It was ironical, but a show about time travel was a great pastime on boring days. You know, besides cuddling in bed with her girlfriend.

‘That was a good one,’ Nora admitted.

‘Well, I’m the master of bad puns.’

Barry and he shared a high-five; Cisco has taken a spot next to Barry. Almost everyone has ended up on the floor somewhere, holding onto the seats.

Sara began to decelerate and descend. There was a park underneath them, so she headed for a large lawn next to a pond. She could park the Waverider there. ‘Barry, you know Kara better than we do, and Cisco can breach us into her apartment or wherever she is, so you’re coming with me,’ she said, having turned around to face the crew of twenty. ‘The rest of you, stay put, and don’t destroy anything.’

‘Or you’ll answer to me,’ Zari added, and threw in an intimidating look.

‘Right. We’ll be waiting then,’ Curtis said. He adjusted his flower crown.

The Waverider landed. Sara got up. Barry said a brief goodbye to Iris, and he and Cisco followed her outside. On the way, Barry complained about a bad stomach.

‘Why do I feel sick? I think I’m gonna puke.’ Barry held his stomach. ‘Yeah, definitely gonna…’ He quickly turned round and bend over at a shrub to throw up the contents of his stomach.

‘Time sickness,’ Sara explained when he rejoined them.

‘I’ve never had time sickness when I travelled in time…’

‘You want me to try her apartment first?’ Cisco asked with a raised eyebrow.

‘Yeah, she might be there. But Alex and Maggie,’ the name brought up a dose of memories, ‘will be in their own apartment.’

‘You say where to go, and I’ll go,’ he replied, and swiftly created a breach right in front of them.

Barry stepped through it first. ‘I can’t wait to see them again,’ he said right before it swallowed him whole and spat him out in the middle of Kara Danvers’ living room.

Cisco and Sara quickly followed, and the first thing they saw when they emerged was the startled face of Kara in her pyjamas, sitting on the sofa.

She quickly came to. ‘Barry Allen! And Cisco, and… Sara. Hey! What are doing here?’ she asked with a wide, enthusiastic grin. Kara and her undying optimism. She gave them a once-over. ‘And why are you wearing flower crowns?’

Sara opened her mouth to answer, but Barry beat her to it. ‘We’re going to Central City Pride together, and we thought you might want to come,’ he explained. ‘Just us, and, you know, some friends.’

‘We never really hang out when invaders aren’t threatening to kill us all, so.’

‘I’ve got one of these for you too.’ Sara took out a flower crown and threw it at her. Bisexual colours.

Kara caught it and put it on, grinning still. Then she shot a worried look at the blankets next to her. ‘That’s, uh, that’s nice! Of course I’d love to go!’ she said, not quite focused on the three of them.

The blankets moved. Sara noticed the shape of wiggling legs under them. Someone spoke. ‘Can I go too? I always wanted to go to a pride, but with me being the owner of L-Corp and all, it would draw too much unwanted attention,’ a female voice said. Then it the woman sat up, and the voice got a face. She turned to them. ‘Did you say Central City?’

Sara knew in a heartbeat it was Lena Luthor. It was hard to overlook her even on Earth-1.

‘Yeah, and also on another Earth,’ answered Cisco, laughing nervously.

Barry ran over to the sofa. ‘Hi, I’m Barry Allen, I’m a friend of Kara’s. Sort of.’

Lena disentangled herself from the mess of blankets and threw her legs over the edge of the sofa. She was also in her pyjamas. She fixed her messy hair. Had she been lying in Kara’s lap? ‘I’m Lena Luthor,’ she introduced herself and shook Barry’s hand. ‘I’m… well, that doesn’t matter. Nice to meet you.’

‘Sara Lance,’ said Sara, a bit too curtly. She was still processing what she was looking at here. Lex Luthor’s wicked little sister, or her doppelgänger, anyway, sitting next to shiny Kara Danvers, Supergirl, and acting like it was normal.

‘I’m Cisco Ramon. Hey.’ He waved awkwardly.

Lena looked at Cisco. ‘What did you say about an another Earth?’

Kara patted her arm. ‘That’s nothing, that was just a joke,’ she said and forced a laugh. ‘Anyway, we should probably get dressed.’ She turned to Barry. ‘Are Alex and Maggie coming too?’

‘We’ve been meaning to ask them, yeah. Know anyone else who’d like to come?’

Kara got up first, then Lena. ‘I think Winn mentioned a boyfriend once, but I don’t know who else is LGBT,’ she answered. ‘J’onn has to stay at the DEO, and James can’t go either.’

Those names rang no bells to Sara. She didn’t know much about Supergirl, to be honest. Different Earths and all.

‘K. We’ll give you time to change,’ Cisco took in her unicorn pyjama bottoms, ‘and then we’ll go pick them up.’

‘Great!’ Kara waited until Lena was in the bedroom before she hurried over to them. ‘She doesn’t know,’ she whispered, ‘about Supergirl, the multiverse, any of that. So please, could you keep it subtle and not talk about it?’

Barry nodded. ‘Of course. Didn’t know you were seeing anyone,’ he inquired.

‘Well, it’s pretty new, actually.’

Sara cleared her throat. ‘Lena Luthor? Really, sunshine?’

‘I don’t know what she’s like on your Earth, but on my Earth, she’s helped me many times, and we’ve been great friends since we’ve met. Well, almost. And I really like her.’ As if she knew what Sara was getting at.

‘Yeah, I get it, sorry. She _is_ pretty hot, gotta hand it to her,’ Sara said. ‘So, which crown is for her?’

‘Rainbow, definitely rainbow.’

Sara found one and handed it to Kara. ‘You might want to go change now, so she doesn’t get suspicious.’

‘Fair point,’ Kara giggled, and ran into the bedroom. Sara heard muffled, excited voices. She didn’t want to think about what was going on behind the closed door.

‘We gotta keep them away from Mick,’ Cisco noted.

Sara nodded. ‘Definitely.’

‘He’s gonna spill the Supergirl beans right when he sees her, isn’t he?’ Barry worried. He started pacing round the flat; he’s spent too long in normal speed.

‘He called her “skirt” the last time, so I think we’re good, but still, it won’t be a good combination.’ Sara has never been to another Earth but to the worst one, and this one seemed nice. Supergirl’s flat was bright, neat, decorated: something Sara never had. It was full of nice memories. Personal belongings. Seeing it made her think of Ava’s place, and the offer she’d given her two days ago.

“You could move in with me if you want a place to stay.”

The door swung open, and the two women stepped outside. Kara was wearing a floral skirt and a pink top, and Lena chose shorts and a top that went down on her shoulders; something Sara never thought she’d see her in. The Lena she knew always wore high heels and black costumes. The flower crowns sat atop their heads.

‘We’re ready to go!’ Kara exclaimed. ‘Let’s go get my sister!’

‘Where does she live?’ Barry asked. ‘And who’s this Winn fellow?’

‘He’s my best friend,’ she explained. ‘I’ll call him, hang on.’ She grabbed her mobile lying on the coffee table and dialled. ‘Hey, Winn! Some friends of mine came by and…’

‘We’ll take you to Alex and Maggie’s place,’ said Lena. Her bag was at the door, so she went and took it. ‘Thanks for letting go with you even though you don’t know me. You see, Kara and I have been together for less than a month, so it’s all very new to both of us, and this is a thing I’d love to do with her. Meet her friends, too.’

‘Sure!’ Cisco, clearly clueless about her doppelgänger’s activities, smiled and spread out his arms. ‘You’re dating Kara, you’re gay, we’re going to pride, it’s all with the other.’

Kara laughed into her mobile behind them. Lena asked, ‘How many of you exactly are there?’

They all made the mental calculation. Barry spoke first. ‘Twenty-one so far, should be twenty-six in total if Kara’s sister and her girlfriend and that friend of yours are going.’

‘Fiancée,’ Lena corrected him automatically. ‘Maggie’s her fiancée. And that’s quite the number.’

‘What’s to say, we stick together,’ Sara said, and turned to Kara as she approached them.

‘Winn’s excited to go with us! He also said he wants a pansexual flower crown.’

‘Sure thing,’ Sara said in the exact same moment Barry muttered, ‘We’ve also got ties.’

‘Cool.’ Kara put her mobile into a handbag hanging on a hook next to the door and grabbed her keys. ‘We’ll stop by Alex and Maggie’s place first, and then we can meet up with Winn, is that okay?’ She opened the door and let the others pass.

‘How did you get here, do you have cars?’ asked Lena.

This was going to be trouble from the beginning. Kara clearly didn’t want her to know about multiple Earths and breaches and superheroes, but how could they keep it under the lid when they came here in a fucking time ship?

‘Well,’ Barry squirmed under her question. ‘We—’

Cisco stepped in before he could reveal unwanted information. He walked down the stairs, Sara next to him and Lena behind him. ‘Do you have metahumans in National City?’

Lena gave him a strange look. ‘Not here, there are mostly aliens in this city. You know, Supergirl. But there are metahumans elsewhere. Why?’

‘I’m a meta. One of the good ones. I can create inter-dimensional breaches.’

Barry shot Cisco a look telling him to shut up. Sara agreed with him.

However, she suspected they couldn’t keep their secret identities secret for much longer, because they were bound to use the Waverider to go back to Earth-1. It was a matter of time before Kara’s secret was uncovered because of that too.

Sara halted and waited for Kara to catch up with her.

‘Oh. So you’re saying that other dimensions really exist? And you can move between them? That’s fascinating!’ she heard Lena say to Cisco.

‘I can move within this one too,’ he said. ‘See?’ Right in front of him, he created a blue breach and stepped inside. Five metres ahead, outside the building, another opened, and Cisco came out of it. He waited until they were outside as well. ‘But yeah, the multiverse is real. Do you know anything about it?’

Lena joined him at the front. ‘I’m a scientist, so naturally, I was curious. I studied the multiverse theory when I was in college, and time travel and wormholes too. But I ended up in engineering, in the end.’

‘I’m also an engineer, how cool is that? I work at Star Labs.’

‘I’ve actually invented a few devices that have helped Supergirl save the world.’

‘I work with the Flash.’

‘Who’s the Flash?’

‘So, you know Supergirl?’

‘I don’t know her identity if that’s what you’re asking, and even if I did I couldn’t tell you, but yes, I work closely with her.’

Oh, she had no idea. Sara tapped Kara’s forearm. ‘Hey. I’m telling you this as a friend, Kara,’ she said. Kara frowned slightly. ‘She’ll find out you’re Supergirl very soon. It might be our fault. So, you know, be prepared.’

Sara was actually surprised she hasn’t figured it out yet; her disguise was a costume with a cape and the lack of glasses atop her nose.

‘No, that’s on me. I knew it couldn’t last,’ she said quietly, looking at Lena’s back. ‘She’s the only one who doesn’t know yet.’

‘A half of our team has powers, Kara. She’ll put two and two together and figure out how we know each other, especially now when she knows we’re from a different Earth. So, here’s the friendly advice: tell her yourself.’

She might be prejudiced against Lena, but she didn’t want Kara to get hurt. She knew very well what that felt like.

‘You’re probably right, Sara.’ Her eyes pointed at the crown on Sara’s head. ‘So, you too?’

‘I thought that was obvious,’ she laughed. ‘I’ve got a girlfriend too, waiting for me on the Waverider. We haven’t been together long either, but I know I love her.’

‘That’s great! I can’t wait to meet her!’ Kara grinned and went to join Lena and Cisco at the front.

Sara was stuck with Barry for the rest of the way to Alex’s flat, and they talked about time travel and TV series and their life, just so Sara didn’t have to think about Alex and their one night together.

They walked up the stairs in the apartment complex, and Kara knocked on the door to the flat. ‘Hey, Alex, it’s me!’ she called.

Sara heard some shuffling and voices before the door opened. There wasn’t Alex—the woman standing behind it was just as beautiful, but she had long wavy hair, and she was shorter. ‘Maggie, hi!’ Kara hugged her sister’s fiancée. She looked at little the group behind her. ‘These are my friends. Can we come in?’

‘Sure,’ Maggie said, waving them inside. ‘I’m Maggie Sawyer, Alex’s fiancée.’

Lena hugged her too; Sara, Barry, and Cisco introduced themselves.

So, this was the Maggie Alex had talked about. She was nice and gorgeous, and they seemed like the perfect couple that would stay together forever after they got married. Except Sara knew they never will, and that will lead Alex to snogging Sara at Barry and Iris’ rehearsal dinner.

Time travel made thing really complicated sometimes.

Alex entered the living room and said, ‘Kara, what’s this about? Who are these people?’

At the sight of her, Sara nervously stepped from one foot to another and played with her hair.

‘And why are you all wearing LGBT flag flower crowns?’ added Maggie. ‘As far as I know, pride isn’t until two weeks later.’

‘Yeah, and I know you guys wanted to go, but Barry and Sara here invited us all to go Central City Pride with them, Winn too,’ Kara explained. ‘We can go to two prides if you want!’

‘That’s, uh, that sound nice,’ Alex said, processing it. ‘But it’s a little too hasty, don’t you think?’ She was measuring Sara and the two men with a secret-agent level of distrust. Sara knew she worked for the DEO. Alex had no idea she knew.

Maggie took her hand. ‘I love it,’ she said, ‘and we weren’t going to go to work anyway. We should go.’

‘Yeah, Sara has flower crowns for you,’ Kara offered, and Sara took two rainbow crowns from her bag. There were none left now, only three different ties. She gave them to Maggie with a tiny smile.

Maggie put hers on and installed the other on Alex’s head despite her protests. ‘Look at you, it suits you,’ she said and kissed her cheek.

‘It suits you too, Maggie.’

‘So we can go?’

‘Yeah, I suppose spending some time with Kara and her friends won’t hurt.’

‘And mainly, having a good time being gay at a pride,’ said Sara, and that elicited a laugh from Alex.

‘Let’s go get Winn, then.’

Cisco punched the air. ‘And then the fun begins!’

Alex and Maggie gathered the things they needed to take with them, and the seven people left the flat to walk to the place Winn agreed to meet them at.

Sara turned her earpiece on and said to the team waiting on the Waverider, ‘Change of plans, guys, get off the ship and make sure it’s cloaked. Wait for us in the park.’

In a second came a reply from Zari, ‘Aye, captain, but can I ask why?’

They were supposed to take the ship back to Earth-1. Sara looked at Lena and convinced herself once again that this was a good idea. ‘We’ve got civilians, and we can’t just show them the ship,’ she answered quietly, ‘Cisco can breach us. He’s already given his powers away.’

‘Copy that. I’ll get everyone out.’

‘Perfect.’ She turned it off and saw Alex and Maggie were holding hands as they walked.

It wasn’t a long way to the meeting point Kara and Winn have agreed on. Winn was a nice, cheerful, nerdy guy and he and Cisco clicked right along. Sara gave him a pansexual flag tie, and learnt he was dating an alien girl who couldn’t come even though she wanted to.

Then Cisco mentioned his breaches again, and Winn just had to see it in practice, so Cisco took an advantage of that and breached them all into the park the Waverider was parked in. Eighteen people were waiting for them, which was a bit of a shock to Alex and Maggie but a nice surprise to Winn. He was excited to meet so many gay people who were, as he learnt later, from a different Earth altogether.

He was even more excited to be visiting said different Earth.

Who knows what he’d do if he found out about the big invisible time ship behind them.

‘Cisco?’ Barry prompted him.

Cisco got ready to create yet another breach. ‘Right away!’

‘And aim for Central City,’ said, rather unnecessarily, Nate.

It came from his hands, and appeared right in front of the colourful band. ‘After you,’ he said, and one by one, people came through. Sara and Ava were the last, only Cisco himself entered after them. He closed the breach as well.

By then, they were in front of the city hall, which was adorned with pride flags and balloons. People—hundreds of them, thousands even—in various states of bright dress and undress were everywhere round them, laughing, shouting, kissing, holding hands. There were couples, friends, families, even dogs, and music was playing from somewhere above. For a day, Central City was cheerful and celebratory.

Wally put his hands up. ‘That’s what I’m talking about!’

Zari copied him and hooted. ‘This is awesome! Guys, isn’t it awesome?’

Sara heard several _yeahs_ and joined the group in cheering. She found Ava’s hand and joined their fingers. Ava was beaming too. It was beautiful. She was beautiful.

Barry, Cisco, and Iris started waving little paper flags in the air furiously, and Curtis with Felicity joined them soon. The crew of the Waverider haven’t brought any flags, but they made up for it with their crowns. They were all in the air. The group joined the forming crowd and started to move toward the bay.

‘I didn’t know there would be so many people,’ Ava said.

Sara cocked her head. ‘You’ve never been to one?’

‘No. I didn’t have time, or anyone to go with.’

‘Well, you have me now, baby.’ Sara pulled in for a kiss; it was soft and sweet and short. People around them cheered.

‘That I do.’

Next to them walked Nate and Ray, holding hands. A man with a rainbow beard complimented Ray’s T-shirt, and Ray said that his beard was cool. He was shining.

Less so was Mick, whose brow was still furrowed at the mass of people around them. He grumbled something to Amaya. She linked her arm with his and smiled. Sara was certain that wouldn’t make him hate this less but was glad she tried. She was glad to see Amaya here with them.

She lost sight of Kara with Lena and Alex with Maggie, but that was probably for the better. She didn’t want to worry on this beautiful day. Winn, though, was chatting away with Cisco and Hartley as if they’ve known each other for years. He borrowed their flag.

‘This was a great idea, Nate,’ said Zari. She was walking behind Sara and Ava, surprisingly close to John and Gary. And also Nora Darhk. Sara wasn’t surprised anymore.

‘I know, right? This is even better than 1970.’

Ray turned to her as well. ‘The 1970 march was a part of history, though, and it made this,’ he pointed all round him, ‘possible. I think that’s cool.’

Nora pointed at Nate, ‘I thought he was the avid historian.’

Nate wove his arm round Ray’s waist and gave him a loud kiss on the cheek. ‘He’s dating me for a reason, honey.’

Gary was grinning like a child who’s just unwrapped his Christmas presents the entire time. He was holding onto John so tightly Sara doubted the warlock was comfortable. ‘This is absolutely awesome, John!’ he exclaimed. ‘We have to do this every year.’

‘I’m glad you’re excited, love, but not with this attitude, we won’t. If you squeeze me any harder, I’ll end up face to face with the Devil’s little minion.’

‘Sorry,’ Gary said guiltily. He pulled away a little. ‘Why not the Devil?’

‘He’s on holiday, owns a club in LA.’

‘Oh. You mean for real?’

‘That’s right. I met him.’

Nora turned to him. ‘You met the Devil?’

‘Oh yeah. He’s quite a nice bloke, you’d be surprised. I think he was hitting on me. Didn’t want to give me my soul back, though.’

Gary swallowed. ‘Did you…?’

‘I still have some dignity left, believe it or not, love.’

Sara tried not to listen. She really did. But it was hard. She suppressed a shiver. She was familiar with the Devil’s face, and she didn’t want to see him again. ‘I met him,’ she said. Ava stiffened. ‘When I died. I was there.’

John looked at her with both astonishment and pity. ‘I know what that feels like.’

‘Yeah, well, then you I don’t want to go back.’ Her grip on Ava’s hand tightened on instinct. She thought she’s finally forgotten about all of her darkness, but it always had a way of coming back to her.

‘Sara,’ Ava whispered. She was rubbing circles on Sara’s hand. ‘You’re a good person. You’re the captain of the Legends. You won’t go to Hell.’

‘But I’m a killer.’ Sara didn’t notice they were still walking. She spiralled into her past. ‘That doesn’t go away.’ She remembered the little girl and her begging father, the same memory Malice showed her when she was trapped in her mind.

She felt John’s hand on her shoulder. ‘Lance,’ he said, ‘when I met Lucifer, he told me one thing. You only go to Hell if you think you deserve it, which I definitely do, but you don’t, so get yourself together, because pet here is right.’ He cleared his throat. ‘Sorry I mentioned him.’

‘It’s not your fault, John.’

‘It is. But really, the Devil isn’t all people think he is. He helps the police solve murders and plays the piano, and rumour has it he’s dating a detective. He’d also love to go to pride with his little demon friend. Just, think about that, will you?’

‘I’d never expect I’d need this pep talk from you of all people, but thanks.’

‘So hey, who wants ice cream?’ Zari asked, and it was the perfect diversion. She pointed somewhere to the right. ‘There’s a truck right there.’

Nate turned round. ‘Did you say ice cream?’

‘It’s actually rainbow ice cream,’ Wally noticed.

Ava stopped drawing shapes on Sara’s hand and started dragging her toward the ice cream truck. ‘Yeah, let’s do that.’

‘Hey, I heard you talking about rainbow ice cream,’ Kara said, appearing out of the blue. Well, if you had powers like hers… ‘I want some too.’

Sara gathered her strength and lifted her voice. ‘Everyone, we’re having ice cream and maybe some drinks too, so join us if you want some.’

Ava whispered, ‘That’s the captain I know.’

‘Yeah. I could really use a drink right now, though.’

‘I love that idea,’ John agreed. He was already being pulled to the truck by his overexcited boyfriend.

A wave of flags and flower crowns moved their way, and Sara felt like a middle school teacher trying to watch over a class of very hyperactive twenty-five. There was no way they would stick together and be good. They were the Legends and their friends at a pride; they were bound to cause a disaster at some point.

She really, really needed that drink. But there were only trucks and coffee shops round them. All she could do was copy Mick and get a beer or deal with the fact that ice cream was on the menu right now.

Gary went and bought two scoops. He was the first. John didn’t want any, so it was her and Ava’s turn. Ava bought only one scoop, but Sara went for three because maybe eating so much ice cream would momentarily freeze her brain. The four of them stood aside and waited for all their friends to get some of the cream too. It was one hell of a queue they made, so the wait was long. The sun warmed their backs and melted the fruity ice cream. Music continued to blare from speakers. People moved.

Nate, Ray, Zari, and Nora found a tree and sat under it. Amaya and Mick with his second beer joined them soon. Sara kept on standing and stuffing herself with rainbow-coloured ice. Ava was always next to her.

John was right and she knew that. But it was hard to get over the fact that Hell existed, that she’s been there before, and that she’s most likely going back anyway. It didn’t matter whether the Devil was there or not. It didn’t matter if he was helping people—if the Devil can be believed. Sara also knew she should be enjoying this party. One look at her family—that’s what her team was to her—and the corners of her mouth went up instantaneously. One look at her girlfriend, and she thought about nothing else. Then she looked away, and the darkness was back.

She wanted to be a canary and scream. Or punch someone. Or catch a genie messing with royalty in the 16th century. She wanted to something more useful than eating ice cream.

‘Sara!’ She returned back to reality. Amaya was calling her name. ‘Mick and I found a bar nearby, do you guys want to come with us?’

‘You bet we do,’ she said. ‘If you think we can leave the others alone out here?’

‘Wally has a radio,’ Zari pointed out. They were all standing in a circle around Sara and Ava. ‘We can call him if we need to gather or something. He’s with his sister and the others.’

‘And besides, it’s early, the parade doesn’t start until five,’ said Ray, and he was right.

‘Alright then, let’s go and get wasted.’

Zari frowned at her. ‘It’s hardly noon. I don’t think that’s a good idea.’

‘I think Sara really needs it right now,’ John replied. He threw Sara a knowing look.

‘You’re right I do.’ She finished crunching on the ice cream cone. ‘So where’s the bar?’

Mick answered, pointing, ‘Right behind the corner.’

‘Great.’ They set off. On the way, they crossed paths with many people who were also partaking in the pride, and earned many wolf-whistles, compliments, and smiles. The three couples were holding hands, and apparently, strangers seemed to think Zari and Nora and Mick and Amaya were also together, which was why they got so much attention. A group of ten friends, five couples—people were bound to be curious.

People were nice to them, mostly the same-sex couples they passed by. It was different from the behaviour they were used to, between fighting magical creatures and travelling into the past.

The bar really was close, and it was open because of the pride. They walked inside and separated into two groups so they could fit at the tables. Sara, Ava, Nate, Ray, John, and Gary occupied one table, and Zari, Nora, Amaya, and Mick took one next to them. The bartender approached them promptly.

‘Nice outfits,’ she said. ‘What can I get you?’

‘Beer.’

‘I’ll have the same.’

‘Whisky, neat.’

‘Some coke, I don’t drink.’

‘Double whisky, please.’

‘White wine for me.’

‘Gin.’

‘One Cosmopolitan.’

‘A pint of beer.’

‘I think I’ll have a Cosmopolitan too.’

The bartender wrote their orders down and went off to prepare the drinks. A young man tapped the beers while she poured the spirits and mixed cocktails for Ray and Gary.

‘I thought you didn’t drink,’ John said to Ray.

‘I don’t really like the taste of alcohol,’ he admitted, nodding. ‘But I like cocktails, they’re really sweet and it covers the taste.’

‘Cocktails are for ladies,’ Sara said. Yes, she was a lady, but a whisky lady, thank you very much.

‘I like them too,’ replied Gary, not very helpfully. He loosened his tie.

Nate laid his hands on the table. ‘I’m so glad we took the day off and did this. This is great.’

‘I agree,’ Gary said, and Ray hummed in agreement at the same time.

Sara could utter nothing more but a simple ‘Yeah.’

Their drinks arrived right when John was about to add a note of his own. They took them, thanked the bartender, and raised their glasses.

‘Cheers,’ Sara said, and downed her whisky. It burnt her throat all the way down. That was exactly what she needed. Alcohol was a better means of dulling one’s mind that ice-cream, after all. She waved for another shot.

After he knocked back his gin, Nate turned on his radio. ‘Wally, man, how are you doing?’

All the Legends heard the answer. ‘We’re great! There’s this inflatable rainbow man here and people selling balloons, we bought some and had a balloon battle.’ There was laughter and screams in the background. ‘Jax, Barry, Iris, and I versus Felicity, Curtis, Hartley, and Winn. Guess who won.’

Nate grinned. ‘You, of course.’

‘Of course. We also bought lemonade and met some of our high school friends. You don’t know what you’re missing.’

Ray answered this time, ‘We’ll join you later!’

There was some more talking on the other side of the radio. ‘Round two against you four, you say?’ Wally said to someone. ‘‘Course we’re up to it. Uh, that was Kara challenging us to a duel against the Earth-38 girls. Catch you later then!’

There was silence. Sara’s refill arrived. She knocked it back as fast as the first glass. She could already feel the alcohol in her head. That was good.

‘Balloon duels sound nice,’ Gary said. ‘Hey, John, do you know a spell that could make the balloons fight each other on their own?’

‘Basic object possession. It’s simple.’

Gary lit up. ‘Really? Can you teach me that too?’

‘If you think you can handle it, then why not, love.’

‘You’ve got, uh,’ Gary pointed at his own upper lip.

John wiped the white foam off his lip. ‘Ta.’

‘And of course I can handle it, I’m a level-nine warlock. I know far more advanced spells.’

‘In Dungeons and Dragons,’ Nate said, and Gary blushed.

‘I’m pretty sure that doesn’t count, Gary,’ Sara added, and leant against Ava’s shoulder. Ava put her arm round her; she was warm and comforting. Sara was already feeling a little better.

‘That doesn’t mean I can’t try. I’ve handled levitation quite well, actually, I made a book hang in the air for at least a minute, it was so exciting.’

‘That’s good for you, Gary,’ Ava said. He was sitting next to her, opposite John. Sara glanced at the other table: everyone’s cheeks were red with laughter, and their drinks were being sipped at slowly. Zari put her head on the table and continued to laugh. Nora lifted her finger and made a peanut levitate and fall onto Zari’s head, which earned another wave of laughter from the others. It seemed that she and Amaya got along quite well, in the end.

Gary noticed it too. ‘Hey, I can do that too! Hang on.’ Sara looked at him. He was staring at the bowl of salted peanuts on their table and put his hands up. He murmured something and moved one hand. Two peanuts moved up but fell onto the table immediately. Gary’s mood sank. ‘It worked the last time, I don’t know—’

‘You were naked the last time, so maybe it would work better if you took off your clothes.’

‘Haha, that’s very funny, John.’

‘I didn’t need to hear that.’ Ava buried her head in Sara’s shoulder. Sara could smell her shampoo again. It was lovely and familiar.

John moved his hand vaguely, and all the peanuts went up in the air. They held their position.

‘How are you doing that?’ Gary asked.

‘I’ve got years of practice, love,’ he said with a smirk. ‘Want to see something cool?’ Gary nodded, intrigued. John muttered some unintelligible words under his breath and moved his hand again. The peanuts aligned in the shape of a heart. Then he moved them back into the bowl and sipped his beer.

‘Honestly, John, I love you.’

‘I know.’

‘Ha! Star Wars quote!’ Nate shouted. John rolled his eyes.

Gary leant over the table. ‘I made him watch Star Wars with me.’

‘Nora, did you see what John did with those peanuts?’ Sara overheard Zari say. She looked their way again. Mick was emptying their bowl of nuts and drinking each mouthful down with beer. Amaya was nursing her glass slowly, a smile still on her lips.

‘No, what did he do?’ asked Nora.

Zari drew a heart in the air. ‘He shaped them into a heart. I think it was for Gary.’

Nora slapped Mick’s hand away from the bowl. ‘Give me those.’

He grunted but gave the bowl away. Nora sent them flying in an easy motion, just like John. Nate and Ray were watching her too. There were just enough peanuts to create two tiny hearts, which was exactly what she did. She sent one to their table. They fell down with a clattering sound and got John’s attention. The other one was still in the air.

People were staring now. But this was Central City, the home of all metahumans. Levitating peanuts were one of the less strange things they could see here.

‘So you think you’re better than me, Darhk?’ John cocked an eyebrow.

She shrugged. ‘I was born with magic.’

This wasn’t going to end up well. Sara had to intervene. ‘That’s enough, guys, no more peanut magic. We should probably finish our drinks and go.’

‘Sara’s right,’ Ava supported her.

‘Just when things were starting to get interesting,’ John sighed. ‘But alright, we can sort this out on the ship. What do you say?’ he prompted Nora.

‘May the better warlock win,’ she said dryly. She let go of the nuts. Mick grabbed them the second they were back in the bowl.

‘Just don’t damage the ship, please,’ Zari said, giving a warning look to the both of them. ‘I don’t want to be stuck on bright and shiny Earth-thirty-whatever.’ She finished her coke.

‘Yes, fine,’ Nora agreed, throwing her hands up in fake-surrender. Her glass was empty.

‘I can try,’ John said, and winked.

‘No trying, Constantine, the ship will stay in one piece,’ Sara warned him. Her look could send a man running scared. John reclined in his seat and said, ‘Alright, captain.’

He’s seen things too dark in his life to be scared of Sara Lance. So has she.

The team finished their drinks, and Sara called the bartender to pay. She pulled a bunch of notes out of her wallet and said she was paying for both tables. The woman—young, red-haired, beautiful—returned the change and smiled at Sara when she went back to the bar. Sara made a point of walking out of the bar hand in hand with Ava.

The streets were even livelier than before. Some people were dancing to the music. Many people were taking pictures and selfies. Everyone was happy. Joyous. Gay.

Zari had her mobile in her hand. ‘Let’s get one too, come on,’ she said and gestured for the team to huddle closer so they’d fit into the photo. She extended her hand as much as possible, camera set to a three-second timer. ‘Smile, we’re gay!’ She pressed the button. It captured the ten of them, making funny faces and wearing flower crowns. ‘I’ll put that one in a frame,’ Zari said when she looked at it. ‘One more. Come on, guys.’

They took three more selfies, always making different ridiculous grimaces. They were the Legends. They couldn’t have it any other way. Well, except for Mick, who wore an unimpressed expression at all times. But that was Mick. He was who he was.

Zari showed the pictures to them all. Sara smiled when she saw Ava and herself in the middle of the group. In one picture, Nate was giving her finger horns. In another, John was sticking his tongue out. Nora was pretending to kiss Zari’s cheek in the very one. In the last one, Amaya was covering Zari’s eyes.

‘Guys, we should take couple pictures,’ Nate suggested out of the blue. ‘Zari, give me your phone. Sara and Ava, you’re up.’

‘Do we have to?’ Sara asked. She scrunched her nose at Nate, who was already setting up the camera.

Ava took her hand. ‘Sara, baby, I want a picture from pride with you.’

‘Okay then. Do you want a specific pose or something?’

‘I don’t know, do we have to?’

‘Just stand next to each other and be cute,’ Nate said. ‘Three, two, one, say cheese.’

They were holding hands in the first one, holding each other round the shoulders in the second one, and kissing, much on Zari’s insistence, in the third one. Then it was Nate and Ray’s turn, and Zari was the one taking the pictures. She took five. Gary wanted to do it with John, who disagreed, so they ended up with only two pictures that were taken without their knowledge.

‘Do you and Nora want a photo too?’ Nate then asked Zari, and she glowered at him for half a minute.

‘Let’s do one with the four of us,’ Amaya suggested instead, quick to change the topic. She pointed at the two of them, Mick, and herself.

‘The singles picture, I like that,’ Zari said and handed her mobile back to Nate. She stood between Nora and Amaya, who was next to Mick. ‘Make crazy faces, guys.’

The girls did. Mick didn’t.

Then Amaya and Mick subtly removed themselves from the camera’s scope, leaving Zari and Nora on their own. Nate snapped three pictures. They’d be grateful for it later.

Nate returned the mobile. ‘We should get back to the rest of the group,’ he said.

Sara turned her radio on. ‘Wally, where are you? We’re going back.’

‘We’re on Third, still at the balloon stand. You can’t miss it,’ he radioed back and turned it off quickly. Sara suspected the balloon fights were still an ongoing business. She feared what state she was going to find her friends in.

‘You heard him, let’s get moving.’

‘Dancing on the way is compulsory,’ Zari added and moved her hips in the upbeat rhythm of the song that was currently playing from the speakers. Nate and Ray joined her with their awkward moves. So did Gary. It was hilarious to watch it. Sara was getting back into the positive mood she was in earlier that day. Not entirely, but at least a little.

Ava took both her hands and swung in the rhythm softly, prompting Sara to join her. She couldn’t resist that smile.

It didn’t take long before they caught up with the bigger part of their group on Third Avenue. Some of the crowns were crooked on their heads and the little flags found their way into various pockets, but apart from that, no one seemed injured. Sara was relieved.

‘So what’ve you been up to while we were gone?’ asked Nate. He checked everyone out.

Cisco threw him a purple balloon. ‘Doing all kinds of crazy stuff with these,’ he said.

‘And breaches,’ added Felicity. ‘It was great.’

‘Cisco is so cool,’ Winn hugged him round his neck. ‘He can send balloons across dimensions, man. He’s the coolest metahuman I know. The coolest trans person.’

‘Dude, did you smoke something?’ Nate asked.

‘Pot brownies,’ Cisco said instead of him. ‘There was this guy,’ he turned his head around in search for the guy, who was long gone, ‘he sells them. They’re great.’

‘Do you have more?’

‘Of course, I think of my buddies, who do you think I am.’ Cisco created a breach and pulled out four pieces of chocolate brownies that looked just like the normal ones but were anything but. ‘Hid them on Earth-6.’ He gave one to Nate.

Sara looked around in concern. ‘Who else has eaten them?’

‘Wally, I think, and Curtis, and Jax, and the kid,’ Cisco counted on his fingers.

Sara remembered Oliver’s son, and feared they’re given a brownie to him. That would be bad. ‘Which kid?’

‘Hartley,’ said Wally.

Luckily, Sara didn’t have to deal with a teenager ingesting pot on her watch, so she caught the balloon that flew her way and threw it at Ava. ‘Ever had a pot brownie, Aves?’

‘Don’t be silly, of course I haven’t.’

‘Well, you’re going to try one now.’ Sara took a piece from Cisco and broke it in half. She gave one to Ava, who took it with some measure of disgust. ‘Eat up, baby,’ she said and took a large bite. It’s been years since she’s had one herself. It must’ve been in college.

Ava bit off a small bit hesitantly. She chewed. ‘It’s not so bad, tastes like ordinary brownies.’

Sara ate the rest of her piece. ‘It does, but wait a few minutes and you’ll know it’s not just an ordinary brownie.’

‘Who else wants one?’ Cisco asked, holding the last two pieces.

‘I do,’ Rene said. ‘Love me some brownies.’ Cisco gave him the entirety of one rectangle.

John stepped forward, ‘Since you asked, squire, I’ll have the last one.’ He shoved it into his mouth and bit off two-thirds of it. He offered the rest to Gary, who declined, so he finished it off.

‘Now let’s dance and enjoy the pride, guys,’ Nate yelled. ‘Take those flags and wave them! Eat too much ice cream! Forget magic and parallel Earths and aliens and time travel exists!’

Cisco embraced him. He was wedged between Nate and Winn. ‘What he said!’

Nate disentangled himself from Cisco’s octopus limbs and gave Ray a loud smack on the cheek. ‘Dance with me, Ray. Dance with me.’ He took his hands. Ray put on a wide grin and began dancing again, holding Nate’s hands. ‘I love you, Ray.’

‘I love you too!’

Sara raised an eyebrow at Ava. ‘Care to dance, Ava Lance?’

Ava giggled. ‘That’s not my name.’

‘But it could be,’ Sara grinned, and rolled the name on her tongue again. Ava Lance. Hasn’t Wally mentioned it in the chat at some point?

‘Or you could be Sara Sharpe.’

‘That works too.’ Sara started to move, expecting Ava to follow suit just as before. She did. ‘Hey, Ava. Who would’ve thought this could happen, half a year ago?’ she asked. It was a rhetorical question. ‘We’re the Legends, we’re at a pride, we’re gay, and we’re dancing to terrible music that isn’t really good for dancing.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the devil thing will be explained in the next chapter. it just... happened. pot brownies are definitely stolen from sense8.
> 
> also, it's canon in the constantine comics that he visited lux once. constantine is a part of arrowverse now, and since lucifer's club is real in the comics and john mentions him at some point somewhere, it kind of places lucifer into arrowverse as well. just a fun fact. in case you haven't thought of it before.


	23. well, this is fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i didn't post this yesterday, but i got caught up reading old journals my mum wrote when i was six and seven for seven hours because of something my girlfriend said. they are so hilarious i couldn't stop. which leads me to this: yes, some things the legends say in the chat are based on things someone in my life says or does.
> 
> i said i'd explain things, so welcome a guest star, everyone! and enjoy <3

**2018/08/24**

 

 **Trenchcoat:** @rayofsunshine what do I do when I want to add someone who’s never been on the ship?

 **rayofsunshine:** I’m not sure that’s a good idea, John. Wait. Are you talking about some of our pride friends? If so, send this link to their number: https://waveriderchatroom.html/new?=join

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you coded this in HTML? amateur

 **rayofsunshine:** Well, not everyone is as skilled at coding as you are, Zari.

 **Trenchcoat:** Thanks, mate. I’m doing this for Sara

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I didn’t know you had the wellbeing of other people on your mind

 **Trenchcoat:** I do in this case

 **ZariIsTheBest:** so anyway how is everyone? nursing your hangovers?

 **gayforray:** uh don’t even speak

 **notbarryallen:** I’m great

 **animalgirl:** Of course you are, with your speedster metabolism.

 **MissTimeBureau:** Sara is lying in our bed face down and swears every time there’s a new message

 **notbarryallen:** yikes, that bad?

 **rayofsunshine:** Guys, we should probably have breakfast. Food always makes things better!

 **gayforray:** it’s 8 am, baby, and I’m sick, I’m not having breakfast

 **rayofsunshine:** But you have to admit yesterday was the best day we’ve had in months.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** with that, I agree

 **animalgirl:** Yeah, it was great.

 **AgentGeek:** It was beyond great! I want to go again

 **ZariIsTheBest:** and you will, Gary, next year

 **ZariIsTheBest:** we are going to the New York one, right?

 **gayforray:** it’s the anniversary of Stonewall so yeah we’re going but don’t talk about it now, okay

 **animalgirl:** Someone’s grumpy despite having the time of his life.

 **gayforray:** a word of advice: don’t drink with Sara trying to get wasted on purpose

 **notbarryallen:** if you’re not a speedster lol

 **animalgirl:** I had a half of what you did, and I still feel awful.

 **MiniDarhk:** why are you texting at 8 am I’m trying to sleep here

 **MiniDarhk:** unsuccessfully

 **ZariIsTheBest:** blame John, he started the conversation

 **rayofsunshine:** Where is he, anyway? He said he wanted to add someone.

 **MiniDarhk:** don’t care

 **MiniDarhk:** and please stop giggling under that blanket, animal girl, I can hear it

 **notbarryallen:** wait, amaya slept over in your room

 **animalgirl:** It’s the largest one, so it was logical.

 **notbarryallen:** is anyone else thinking what I’m thinking

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I know what you’re thinking and I want you to stop

 **animalgirl:** I second that.

 **MiniDarhk:** yeah

 **Lancelot:** I want you to be quiet but I guess that’s not happening

 **Lancelot:** Good freaking morning team

 **MiniDarhk:** zari said john’s to blame

 **MiniDarhk:** personally I want to choke him with peanuts

 **rayofsunshine:** Have you decided who’s the best warlock yet?

 **MiniDarhk:** that’s on the agenda later today

**MiniDarhk: 🔥**

**Trenchcoat: 🔥**

**Trenchcoat:** Welcome our guest, team

 **Trenchcoat:** And believe me when I say I don’t want him here either, but @Lancelot needs to have a chat with him

 

 **thedevil** _joined_ **Legends of Gay™**

 

 **thedevil** **:** hello, humans. constantine told me you needed me, so here I am

 **thedevil** **:** is this one of those anonymous roleplay chats where you can have online sex with people

 **ZariIsTheBest:** um, NO

 **notbarryallen:** but let’s be fair, with john and gary it sometimes looks that way

 **notbarryallen:** who are you, anyway

 **thedevil** **:** what it says on the tin, I’m the devil. my name is lucifer morningstar 😈

 **Trenchcoat:** And I’m calling in the favour you owe me

 **MiniDarhk:** you really are the devil?

 **thedevil** **:** yes, though you humans still don’t seem to get it. I wonder why is that

 **MiniDarhk:** well I met your little pet malice. it wasn’t nice

 **thedevil** **:** I heard that he was dead, was that you?

 **gayforray:** it was a collective effort

 **thedevil** **:** well done

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I thought you’d be mad and kill us or something

 **thedevil** **:** why on earth would I kill you, you rid me of the pest that was destroying my hellish potatoes, and besides, I don’t even know who or where you are

 **thedevil** **:** so, constantine, what do you need me to do

 **Trenchcoat:** Tell @Lancelot here how things really work down there

 **thedevil** **:** well, where to begin

 **Lancelot:** Are you people serious?

 **Lancelot:** I met you

 **thedevil:** alright, and when might that be?

 **Lancelot:** I died in 2014 and went to hell. It felt like an eternity of torture when I was there

 **thedevil:** 2014? I don’t know who do you think you’ve met but it definitely wasn’t me, I was happily partying in los angeles by then. must have been one of my demons

 **thedevil** **:** and you got out? how interesting

 **Trenchcoat:** I got her soul out, in fact. The Lazarus Pit did the rest

 **thedevil** **:** ah, the pit, clever thing. pity it was destroyed

 **thedevil** **:** did you know that a brother of mine once dropped a feather from his wings, it landed on earth near a stream in the mountains, and ever since, the stream has been reported to have healing abilities? what a klutz he was

 **Lancelot:** Do you really want me to believe that an angel’s feather created the pit?

 **thedevil** **:** and what did you think gave the pool its powers, martians?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** we’ve actually met a martian

 **thedevil** **:** really? I haven’t had the pleasure yet

 **ZariIsTheBest:** well, it was on another earth. he’s kind of a superhero

 **thedevil** **:** there are superheroes and different dimensions now? you just got interesting

 **Lancelot:** Well, I don’t like that you’re here if you really are what you say you are, _Lucifer_

 **thedevil** **:** well, lancelot, constantine told me to tell you how things work. so, since you’ve been to hell before you know what that’s like, and I’m assuming you don’t want to go back, is that correct?

 **Lancelot:** Yes

 **thedevil** **:** I knew a human exactly like you, well, except she was in hell because my mother escaped hell and chose charlotte’s body as a vessel, and then I send my mum into a dimension of her own and charlotte came back. anyway, you’re probably wondering if there’s a way. of course there’s a way. hell isn’t permanent, anyone can get out if they think they no longer deserve it, which is the funniest part about the whole thing. you don’t go to hell as long as you think you don’t deserve to be there. is that enough?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** wait, what’s that part about your mother?

 **thedevil** **:** my mother, the goddess of all creation, yes. she was in hell, then she was on earth, now she’s dad knows where

 **thedevil** **:** I like you, finally there’s someone who knows who I am and isn’t scared of me

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I’m Muslim and I grew up on the run from a government organization, I see things a little differently

 **thedevil** **:** oh, right, well, you may call my dad another name but it’s still him, you can be sure about that

 **Lancelot:** John said the same thing, but that’s just it, I deserve to be there. I’m an assassin. I’ve killed people

 **MissTimeBureau:** Okay, I’ll gloss over the fact that the Devil is probably talking to us right now and say this one more time, Sara. Your past doesn’t define you. Look at me, I’m a clone. And I’m working on getting over that. You can get over your darkness too.

 **thedevil** **:** what’s this about a clone?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** it’s complicated

 **thedevil:** I love when things get complicated. the clone is lancelot’s girlfriend, I presume?

 **MissTimeBureau:** Call me that again and I don’t care who you are, I’ll come over and punch you.

 **MissTimeBureau:** But yes, Sara and I are dating.

 **Lancelot:** Thanks for that, Aves

 **thedevil** **:** she’s a badass, I like that

 **MissTimeBureau:** Ava, my name is Ava.

 **thedevil** **:** well, this is fun

 **thedevil** **:** now, when we got your problem out of the way, maybe you could help me with a problem of my own since my therapist is on holiday?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** the devil has a therapist?

 **thedevil** **:** yes, I do. you humans always have a talent for stating the obvious, don’t you?

 **MiniDarhk:** I don’t like it when we’re called “us humans”

 **thedevil** **:** sorry, people then, better?

 **MiniDarhk:** yes

 **ZariIsTheBest:** so what’s your problem, Lucifer

 **thedevil** **:** see, I’m dating this woman, chloe, and she has a child. she had to go away to some sort of police whatnot and wouldn’t take me with you but she left me custody of the child. what do you think that means? she’s never done that before

 **rayofsunshine:** I think that means she trusts you unconditionally, because her child is very important to her, right? And she gave them to you, so you’re important to her too, and she trusts you.

 **rayofsunshine:** Sorry, we haven’t met yet. My name’s Ray Palmer. Nice to meet you.

 **thedevil:** ah, you’re the chap _gayforray_ is gay for

 **thedevil:** And yes, that was what I thought as well, but it could also mean she wants to get rid of me because she didn’t take me with her and left me with her annoying offspring instead

 **gayforray:** yeah, I’m Nate, I’m Ray’s boyfriend, and I’m very hungover

 **rayofsunshine:** Should she take her with you? I mean, you’re the Devil.

 **thedevil:** I am a civilian consultant for the lapd, try to keep up

 **rayofsunshine:** We didn’t know that.

 **thedevil:** right, my bad. so, what do you think, sunshine?

 **rayofsunshine:** I don’t think she wanted to get rid of you. I mean, she’s with you for a reason, right? Does she know who you are?

 **thedevil:** yes, I showed her my devil face a few months ago, rather unintentionally, I must say

 **ZariIsTheBest:** since she didn’t run off she must really love you, right?

 **thedevil:** I suppose she does, yes

 **ZariIsTheBest:** do you love her back?

 **thedevil:** I suppose I do

 **ZariIsTheBest:** well then I think she really trusts you to take care of her child

 **thedevil:** thank you, muslim girl

 **ZariIsTheBest:** my name’s Zari, thanks

 **ZariIsTheBest:** your nicknames are worse than Mick’s

 **thedevil:** why, thank you

 **ZariIsTheBest:** not a compliment

 **gayforray:** so, Lucifer, you work for the police?

 **thedevil:** I help solve murders

 **thedevil:** it’s how I met the detective, I mean, chloe

 **notbarryallen:** that’s cool

 **notbarryallen:** my dad’s the captain of the police, and so was sara’s

 **notbarryallen:** I’m wally west

 **thedevil:** who are you people, anyway, and why is nate hungover, did you have fun last night? 😉

 **ZariIsTheBest:** we went to a pride yesterday and those idiots got drunk

 **thedevil:** oh, I see, you’re my kind of people then

 **thedevil:** did you get phone numbers of ten different people, snog a stranger, and ate too much rainbow ice cream?

 **gayforray:** no, no, and some of us did

 **rayofsunshine:** Most of us are in a happy relationship, thank you.

 **gayforray:** we had pot brownies though

 **gayforray:** and way too much to drink

 **Lancelot:** So you’re just gonna talk to him?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** after the stuff we’ve seen, the devil is the least of my concerns, captain

 **thedevil:** captain? what are you, some sort of a team?

 **Trenchcoat:** Yes, exactly, one I’d rather not be a part of

 **MiniDarhk:** one I never thought I could be a part of but here I am, sleeping in one room with zari and amaya

 **thedevil:** ooh, so you girls had a threesome? I support that

 **notbarryallen:** lol you too

 **ZariIsTheBest:** we most definitely didn’t have a threesome, why does everyone keep saying that

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I’m ace

 **animalgirl:** and I’m leaving the ship after breakfast

 **thedevil:** even more reasons why to get at it 😉

 **thedevil:** so you’ve got a ship? what, something like the tardis?

 **gayforray:** d o c t o r w h o

 **rayofsunshine:** As a matter of fact, we do have a ship like the TARDIS, minus the bigger on the inside thing.

**MiniDarhk: 🔥➡️😈☠️**

**thedevil:** I hate to break it to you, darling, but I can’t die

 **MiniDarhk:** I’d still try

 **thedevil:** but unlike my stupid brother you can speak emoji, I like you

 **rayofsunshine:** Your brothers are angels, right? Actual angels?

 **thedevil:** a penny for your thought!

 **thedevil:** I have sisters, too

 **Trenchcoat:** If you ever see Manny again, tell him to bugger off, because he can’t seem to take it from me

 **thedevil:** believe me, I tell him often enough, but I must say I haven’t heard that nickname in a while

 **AgentGeek:** So angels are real too now? That’s so awesome!

 **AgentGeek:** I’m

 **AgentGeek:** John’s boyfriend

 **thedevil:** you really do live up to the legends of gay name, I see

 **ZariIsTheBest:** so what’s your deal

 **thedevil:** I prefer women but won’t say no to a fit handsome man, thank you very much

 **thedevil:** I’ve had my way with many famous men of history, oscar wilde, achilles, dear old will

 **gayforray:** you’ve met Shakespeare and Achilles, that’s not fair

 **gayforray:** we only get to meet people like George Washington, which, I admit, is also pretty cool, but still

 **thedevil:** so you are time travellers? very nice

 **thedevil:** I’ve never met a time traveller before

 **Lancelot:** Nate, really

 **gayforray:** sorry I can’t think straight right now

 **thedevil:** nice one, nate

 **Trenchcoat:** I told you he was hitting on me

 **thedevil:** not my proudest moment, I admit

 **Trenchcoat:** I’m handsome enough

 **AgentGeek:** You are. You most definitely are

 **Trenchcoat:** I know

 **AgentGeek:** Since we don't seem to be getting up any time soon, do you wanna

 **AgentGeek:** You know

 **Trenchcoat:** Put down your mobile and leave your glasses on

 **AgentGeek:** Yes sir

 **notbarryallen:** told you

 **ZariIsTheBest:** it was a matter of time

 **thedevil:** you people _most certainly_ are interesting

 **thedevil:** this is so much better than tending to the child

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you’re neglecting your girlfriend’s child because of us? don’t be an idiot, man, and go

 **thedevil:** she’s watching telly and I gave her some cake so I think I’m good

 **rayofsunshine:** You gave her cake for breakfast? And what time is it in LA, 6 in the morning?

 **thedevil:** some time after six, yes, why? and besides, she asked for it

 **rayofsunshine:** You shouldn’t give a child cake for breakfast because they ask for it, Lucifer. They’ll think they can get away with anything then, and that’s not good.

 **thedevil:** I’m pretty sure chloe told me something like that a couple times, actually

 **ZariIsTheBest:** if you keep on spoiling her daughter like that she’ll break up with you, believe me

 **thedevil:** so you’re saying I shouldn’t give the child cake when she asks for it even though it’s her favourite? alright, I’ll give her cash then

 **ZariIsTheBest:** no, Lucifer, give her oats or toast or whatever she normally eats for breakfast, and no cash, that’s against the very same principle

 **ZariIsTheBest:** but seriously, just go play with her

 **notbarryallen:** what’s her name?

 **thedevil:** beatrice, but everyone calls her trixie

 **notbarryallen:** here’s a tip, take trixie to a playground or something, I loved doing that with my mom when I was a kid

 **notbarryallen:** or not but you get the idea

 **thedevil:** fine, whatever you say

 **ZariIsTheBest:** hey, Wally, you haven’t seen that selfie we’ve taken yesterday, right?

 **notbarryallen:** no, gimme

 **ZariIsTheBest:** [ _image attached_ : pride1.jpeg]

 **ZariIsTheBest:** this is the first out of a ton

 **notbarryallen:** guys you’re cute

 **Lancelot:** That we are

 **ZariIsTheBest:** except Mick

 **gayforray:** oh my god, Ray, that face

 **rayofsunshine:** I was told to make weird faces.

 **thedevil:** so that’s you? I can see constantine and his trenchcoat there

 **thedevil:** nice outfits

 **rayofsunshine:** My T-shirt was the best.

 **notbarryallen:** barry’s outfit was the best

 **ZariIsTheBest:** ^^

 **thedevil:** which one is barry?

 **gayforray:** he’s not in the photo but he was dressed as an ace flag

 **animalgirl:** Can this device download images? Because I’d like to keep it.

 **rayofsunshine:** It can take screenshots, just press the tiny button on the left with the rectangle on it for two seconds.

 **animalgirl:** It worked, thank you.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** do you really have to go???

 **animalgirl:** I’m sorry, Zari, but I do. I’ll still be here though.

 **thedevil:** I took a screenshot too, that picture was hilarious

 **thedevil:** you should visit me in the city of angels sometime

 **thedevil:** I broached the subject of going out to the child and she said yes

 **thedevil:** [ _image attached_ : luciferandtrixie.jpeg]

 **ZariIsTheBest:** she’s adorable

 **MiniDarhk:** you might want to wipe that chocolate off her mouth first though

 **gayforray:** wow the devil really is handsome

 **rayofsunshine:** I hope you won’t leave me and run off with him.

 **gayforray:** he’s not as handsome as you

 **gayforray:** so don’t worry

 **thedevil:** that must be true love then

 **thedevil:** lucifer out

 

 **thedevil** _left_ **Legends of Gay™**

 

 **ZariIsTheBest:** shall we finally have breakfast now?

 **gayforray:** yeah, it won’t get much better anyway

 **MiniDarhk:** I’m not going back to sleep at any rate so why not

 **Lancelot:** Thank Lucifer’s dad, I’m starving

 **MissTimeBureau:** So you’re better now, Sara?

 **Lancelot:** A bit

 **Trenchcoat:** See? You needed to talk to him

 **Lancelot:** Maybe, but that doesn’t mean I’m thanking you, John

 **Lancelot:** Whoever gets to the kitchen first, please make me a cup of coffee

 **notbarryallen:** copy that

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the lazarus pit thing is just an idea i had when i realised i forgot its actual origins... :D


	24. who wants to place bets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so um this is the part where the irregular updates i warned you about in the beginning happen. i'm sorry. but reading the journals and finding out the last entry was in 2007 made me want to fill in the missing years, and that's what i'm doing now. i'm at 2013 already!
> 
> enjoy!! <3

**2018/08/26**

 

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Mick, don’t give Nora and John fire so they could make fireballs. we agreed not to let them do that

 **Lancelot:** Excuse me, what exactly is happening?

 **gayforray:** the duel for the best sorcerer

 **gayforray:** in the cargo space

 **gayforray:** because it was fireproofed

 **MissTimeBureau:** I still think the Waverider wasn’t meant for such things.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you and I both, Ava

 **Lancelot:** Is anyone watching it at least?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I am, on the cameras

 **gayforray:** I’m behind the door

 **grunt:** why shouldn’t I let them have fire, it’s more fun

 **rayofsunshine:** And it’s also more dangerous, Mick.

 **grunt:** exactly

 **animalgirl:** So who is winning this duel, Nora or Constantine?

 **gayforray:** so far it’s very tight

 **ZariIsTheBest:** who are you rooting for, Amaya?

 **animalgirl:** I’m not sure.

 **animalgirl:** But I think Nora will win.

 **AgentGeek:** John is definitely going to win

 **gayforray:** like you aren’t biased

 **Lancelot:** I’m betting on Nora if you ask me

 **notbarryallen:** now here’s an idea

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Wally, no

 **notbarryallen:** wally yes

 **notbarryallen:** who wants to place bets

 **Lancelot:** Okay, I’m in

 **AgentGeek:** Same

 **gayforray:** ten bucks on Nora

 **Lancelot:** Twenty

 **notbarryallen:** ten on constantine

 **AgentGeek:** Ten dollars on John

 **ZariIsTheBest:** ok, fine, ten bucks on Nora

 **grunt:** twenty on trenchcoat

 **rayofsunshine:** I’m placing ten dollars on Nora.

 **MissTimeBureau:** Are you all seriously doing this?

 **Lancelot:** Yeah

 **MissTimeBureau:** Five dollars on Darhk.

 **Lancelot:** Only five, Aves?

 **MissTimeBureau:** Constantine is good, I won’t risk losing my money over this petty competition.

 **notbarryallen:** @Jaxon @MiniStein @animalgirl?

 **animalgirl:** I’m not on the ship, I can’t participate.

 **animalgirl:** But if I were, I’d place my money on Nora.

 **notbarryallen:** nooo

 **Jaxon:** i don’t really know either of them so idk

 **MiniStein:** My money would definitely be on Nora winning.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Mick, really, do you want me to tell Gideon to turn the emergency fire protocol on

 **gayforray:** I didn’t even know we had one

 **ZariIsTheBest:** the ship has many secrets you will never know

 **grunt:** fine, no more fire, I get it

 **grunt:** a man can’t even have fun being locked up here for four years

 **Lancelot:** Just go and find yourself another way of entertainment if you’re so bored, Mick

 **grunt:** no this fight is interesting

 **Lancelot:** That’s it, I’m going over there

 **AgentGeek:** So am I, I have to cheer for my boyfriend

 **ZariIsTheBest:** are you sure you won’t be more of a distraction, though

 **AgentGeek:** Hang on, that’s true. What do I do

 **notbarryallen:** don’t listen to her and just go, gary

 **notbarryallen:** alright I’m here

 **notbarryallen:** what happened to the boxes we had there?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** John miniaturized them at one point

 **rayofsunshine:** He can miniaturize objects with magic? Suddenly I feel useless again.

 **gayforray:** baby, you’re not useless. you’re amazing

 **gayforray:** how many times do I have to tell you, we need you, Ray

 **ZariIsTheBest:** John is cool but he doesn’t have the atom suit

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you created that yourself

 **gayforray:** ily

 **rayofsunshine:** Thank you, guys. But I’m still a little jealous.

 **Lancelot:** Don’t be, he’s currently being pressed to a wall and choked by a very much victorious Nora Darhk

 **Lancelot:** Told you guys

 **Lancelot:** Give us your money, losers

 **notbarryallen:** that’s not fair

 **notbarryallen:** I really thought john’s gonna win

 **gayforray:** well that’s life

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I can see that smug grin, Darhk

 **MiniDarhk:** well it couldn’t have ended any other way, could it

 **MiniDarhk:** I knew you guys were watching 😘

 **Trenchcoat:** That wasn’t fair, she caught me off guard

 **notbarryallen:** I bet that lucifer fella would’ve wanted to watch that

 **Lancelot:** “that Lucifer fella” is literally the devil, how do you keep being so oblivious

 **ZariIsTheBest:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **ZariIsTheBest:** the cargo bay camera saves recordings so

 **ZariIsTheBest:** @Trenchcoat if you give me his number

 **Trenchcoat:** That I won’t, do you really want to embarrass me in front of the Devil?

 **MiniDarhk:** I’d let him watch it

 **gayforray:** anyway, a little bird (hint: drunken you) told me Ava asked you to live with her, Sara

 **gayforray:** is that true?

 **gayforray:** and did you accept?

 **MissTimeBureau:** Yes, it’s true, and Sara hasn’t replied yet.

 **MissTimeBureau:** Sorry again if that was too straightforward.

 **Lancelot:** No, Ava, you have nothing to apologize for

 **Lancelot:** I just needed some time to think about it

 **Lancelot:** And this is stupid to say here but I’ve come to the conclusion I’d really like to move in with you, love

 **Lancelot:** After all, I need a place to stay away from these idiots sometimes

 **MissTimeBureau:** Sara, that’s amazing. And you’re right.

 **MissTimeBureau:** I love you <3

 **Lancelot:** I love you too, Aves <3

 **gayforray:** excuse me, who are you calling idiots here

 **Lancelot:** You know what I meant. I love you guys but you can be tiring to spend so much time around

 **gayforray:** oh, I know

 **ZariIsTheBest:** and that’s great news, Sara!!!

 **notbarryallen:** you guys are all making progress

 **notbarryallen:** it’s adorable

 **notbarryallen:** zari 👀

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I have no idea what you’re talking about

 **rayofsunshine:** I’m so happy for you, Sara and Ava!

 **rayofsunshine:** I see you’re following our example.

 **Lancelot:** Yeah, but like, on the next level

 **Lancelot:** Because you and Nate just share a room on the Waverider

 **rayofsunshine:** That’s fair.

 **gayforray:** so does that mean you won’t be here so often anymore

 **Lancelot:** I’ll come for missions and game nights, you won’t get rid of me that easily

 **MissTimeBureau:** And there still is this thing.

 **Lancelot:** Exactly

 **Lancelot:** I just hope you won’t cause any serious damage without my presence

 **rayofsunshine:** You know what, this calls for another celebration.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** we do that a lot

 **gayforray:** we have many reasons to celebrate

 **Lancelot:** I agree

 **Lancelot:** But for now I should get back to Ava and work out the details

 **notbarryallen:** looks like zari and I are good at these things so let’s plan it

 **animalgirl:** I’m late, but that’s great, Sara! I’m glad you and Ava are happy together.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** sure, Wally

 **ZariIsTheBest:** donuts were a success the last time

 **animalgirl:** Please, don’t talk about donuts again.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** sorry, Amaya

 **ZariIsTheBest:** but you had like four for breakfast today so I don’t know why are you complaining

 **animalgirl:** On principle.

 **notbarryallen:** but this is for our captain so maybe we should go for something fancier than donuts and ice cream and cheesy music

 **gayforray:** champagne wasn’t fancy enough for you?

 **notbarryallen:** that part was fancy

 **MiniDarhk:** you throwing a party every time someone gets a little further in their relationship really is a thing, isn’t it

 **MiniDarhk:** I wonder what it’ll look like when you’ll get married

 **notbarryallen:** honestly? same

 **notbarryallen:** who do you think will tie the knot first

 **gayforray:** definitely avalance

 **rayofsunshine:** You said that very quickly.

 **gayforray:** anything on your mind, sunshine?

 **rayofsunshine:** I don’t know, I just.

 **gayforray:** thought it would be us?

 **gayforray:** are you asking

 **rayofsunshine:** No! That’s not what I meant. Not that I wouldn’t want to marry you. I love you. But it’s too soon for that.

 **gayforray:** yeah I know you proposed to Kendra after two years so

 **rayofsunshine:** Anyway, this is awkward. I shouldn’t have said anything.

 **rayofsunshine:** I also think Sara and Ava will definitely get married first.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I’d be really surprised if it were John and Gary

 **notbarryallen:** lol yeah

 **notbarryallen:** did you hear avalance on pot brownies?

 **notbarryallen:** sara literally said “care to dance, ava lance”

 **ZariIsTheBest:** she did WHAT

 **gayforray:** I think I remember something like that

 **ZariIsTheBest:** they are most definitely endgame

 **rayofsunshine:** After everything she’s been through, Sara deserves a normal life and a wife who loves her.

 **Lancelot:** What are you guys talking about here

 **Lancelot:** All that is private, thank you

 **Lancelot:** But you’re not wrong

 **rayofsunshine:** So, were you really thinking about it?

 **Lancelot:** Not seriously, but

 **Lancelot:** Yeah

 **Lancelot:** Were you 👀

 **rayofsunshine:** We’ve been together for a month, Sara.

 **gayforray:** actually it’s 26 days

 **MissTimeBureau:** We’ve been together for four months. Does that answer your question?

 **gayforray:** if it answers yours

 **Lancelot:** Fair

 **gayforray:** so since we’re talking about that, where is Constantine, anyway

 **MiniDarhk:** probably sulking somewhere

 **AgentGeek:** With me

 **AgentGeek:** Teaching me more magic

 **AgentGeek:** In the literal sense

 **ZariIsTheBest:** don’t worry we’re used to you by now

 **notbarryallen:** are we though

 **AgentGeek:** Alright well I was showing him some magic in the figurative sense too

 **ZariIsTheBest:** idk how about you but I totally saw that coming

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I’ve been on this ship longer than you, after all

 **notbarryallen:** true

 **MiniDarhk:** so is he sulking

**Trenchcoat: 🖕**

**Trenchcoat:** You people don’t deserve to have me and my gorgeous arse on this ship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so yeah i've been thinking about who _would_ win the magical duel. in comics and animated stuff? constantine. in the show? i'm not sure. but my bet would be on nora.


	25. don't let it eat you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay i had a bit of a block for the past three days but i got an idea today and it's got me going!!! so enjoy :)

**2018/08/29**

 

 **Lancelot:** Consider Ava and me officially living together

 **Lancelot:** [ _image attached_ : thelastbox.jpeg]

 **ZariIsTheBest:** that’s great!!!

 **gayforray:** good for you two, Sara

 **MiniDarhk:** should we like congratulate you

 **MiniDarhk:** we’ve all seen that coming

 **rayofsunshine:** Yes, Nora, it’s polite to congratulate our friends on moving together. It’s a big step in their relationship.

 **rayofsunshine:** Congrats, Sara and Ava!

 **ZariIsTheBest:** but it’s true that we’ve seen that coming

 **Lancelot:** I haven’t

 **MissTimeBureau:** I was afraid you’d say no.

 **Lancelot:** For a little while, so was I

 **Lancelot:** But I love you too much

 **MissTimeBureau:** Even if you did say no, I’d still love you, Sara. You know I’m in this with you no matter how fast you want to go.

 **Lancelot:** I do

 **notbarryallen:** late but

 **notbarryallen:** congrats guys! that’s amazing

 **animalgirl:** Congratulations!

 **grunt:** it also means we get to do what we want on the ship when blondie’s gone

 **Lancelot:** No, Mick, it doesn’t. I’m not gone, I’m not sleeping on the ship, there’s a difference between that

 **MissTimeBureau:** And we’re watching you.

 **grunt:** creepy

 **gayforray:** so will you have a housewarming party or something?

 **notbarryallen:** zari and I are working on that 🎉

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you bet we are

 **Lancelot:** Should I be worried?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** nope, all good, promise you’ll love it

 **MissTimeBureau:** Should _I_ be worried?

 **notbarryallen:** you know us legends

 **ZariIsTheBest:** and our game nights

 **ZariIsTheBest:** speaking of, I just got word from Gideon about something called, uh, wendigo? in 2023 California

 **Lancelot:** Should I come over?

 **rayofsunshine:** No, captain, you enjoy a day off with your girlfriend, I’m sure we can handle one mission without you.

 **MissTimeBureau:** Are you sure?

 **gayforray:** no, we’ll definitely screw up, but we’ll fix it in the end

 **Lancelot:** Okay, I think I’ll let it slide just this once, but only because I don’t want to get up from this very comfy sofa Ava and I are currently watching a movie on

 **animalgirl:** Aww.

 **Trenchcoat:** Ah, wendigo, it’s a bloody cannibalistic monster from Algonquian folklore, typically seen in Canada or North America. I’ve never heard of one in California

 **gayforray:** why do we always get the nasty buggers

 **gayforray:** I expected more unicorns and, you know, nice creatures

 **ZariIsTheBest:** yeah, me too

 **grunt:** the ghoul was fun

 **gayforray:** of course you would think so, Mick

 **MiniDarhk:** did you say 2023

 **ZariIsTheBest:** yeah, why?

 **MiniDarhk:** brings back memories

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I remember, I was 9 and knew nothing about totems and time travel

 **ZariIsTheBest:** what a nice world it was when you were an ignorant child

 **MiniDarhk:** I was 21 and very far from that

 **MiniDarhk:** couldn’t even celebrate my birthday and get drunk because I had a demon inside me

 **Trenchcoat:** You do realise what that sounds like

 **MiniDarhk:** shut up

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Nora, I’m sorry

 **MiniDarhk:** …don’t be, it’s fine, it was all my own fault

 **rayofsunshine:** Now, don’t talk like that, Nora. It was your dad in a pact with the demon. We know it _wasn’t_ your fault.

 **MiniDarhk:** I beg to differ

 **MiniDarhk:** but whatever, palmer

 **ZariIsTheBest:** so are we gonna go and catch that wendigo or not

 **gayforray:** on our way

 **notbarryallen:** who’s driving

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I guess that would be me

 **notbarryallen:** strap in properly, then

 **MiniDarhk:** yep

 **ZariIsTheBest:** do you have anything to say about my piloting skills

 **Lancelot:** Actually

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Mick can fly if he wants

 **grunt:** fine, I’ll do it

 **Trenchcoat:** I’d prefer miss Tomaz flying, to be quite fair

 **gayforray:** me too

 **animalgirl:** Oh, definitely. Remember the time Mick landed us on a tree?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** who wouldn’t

 **notbarryallen:** ok no more complaining

 **ZariIsTheBest:** that’s what I thought

 **ZariIsTheBest:** now come here and strap in

 **animalgirl:** So how are things with you, Sara?

 **Lancelot:** Perfect

 **Lancelot:** [ _image attached_ : movieswithmygf.jpeg]

 **MissTimeBureau:** It’s nice to have a day off work and enjoy our time together.

 **Lancelot:** In our new place ;)

 **MissTimeBureau:** In my old place, you mean.

 **Jaxon:** i just logged in and what don’t i see

 **Jaxon:** guys that’s great!!

 **Lancelot:** Thank you, Jax!

 **Lancelot:** And I know :))

 **Lancelot:** So are you and your girlfriend up to something?

 **Jaxon:** making dinner

 **Jaxon:** [ _image attached_ : futurecaesarsalad.jpeg]

 **MissTimeBureau:** That looks great.

 **animalgirl:** It does.

 **Jaxon:** i hope it tastes great too, im not rly good at this

 **animalgirl:** I’m sure she’ll appreciate the effort.

 **Jaxon:** she told me to send u this

 **Jaxon:** [ _image attached_ : thumbsup.jpeg]

 **animalgirl:** Jax, your girlfriend is gorgeous.

 **Jaxon:** i know ;)

 **Jaxon:** but rly guys do u go on missions in the evening now

 **MissTimeBureau:** It’s 4 P.M. in LA.

 **Lancelot:** Which, I’m sure, the creature doesn’t know, because all it cares about it eating people, not what time it is

 **Jaxon:** yikes that sounds awful

 **Jaxon:** thank you, whoever you are ;) <3 I appreciate you calling me gorgeous

 **Jaxon:** yeah I stole his cell. hey guys

 **Lancelot:** Hey, Carly. Looks like you’re having a great evening

 **animalgirl:** Hi, I’m Amaya, we haven’t met.

 **Jaxon:** hey! yeah I know, I’m sorry I missed the pride

 **Lancelot:** [ _image attached_ : pride1.jpeg]

 **Lancelot:** So are we. Here’s a photo at least

 **Lancelot:** The one on Zari’s left is Amaya, by the way

 **Jaxon:** cute

 **Jaxon:** hey man she’s my gf alright don’t introduce her to amaya

 **Lancelot:** I see you won your phone back

 **Jaxon:** tough fight

 **animalgirl:** Don’t worry, Jax, I’m still back in 1942, nothing would happen.

 **Jaxon:** im kidding

 **Jaxon:** but still she called her cute

 **ZariIsTheBest:** so we’re in 2023

 **ZariIsTheBest:** all we have to do now is find the thing

 **Lancelot:** Don’t let it eat you

 **gayforray:** don’t worry nothing can eat me

 **Trenchcoat:** Are you sure

 **gayforray:** oh for god’s sake, Constantine

 **Jaxon:** im just gonna pass that and ask how’s the future

 **rayofsunshine** **:** Mostly the same as 2018, only there are more electric cars.

 **rayofsunshine:** Hey, Jax!

 **Jaxon:** hey man

 **Jaxon:** one of them is definitely mine

 **MissTimeBureau:** The Time Bureau already uses electric cars, actually.

 **Jaxon:** nice

 **notbarryallen:** hell yeah

 **rayofsunshine:** We’ve got a location on the wendigo, gotta suit up and go!

 **notbarryallen:** [ _image attached:_ johnwendigo.jpeg]

 **notbarryallen:** that’s how we do it on the waverider, we catch monsters and look good doing it

 **Jaxon:** b99 reference!!!

 **Lancelot:** Noice

 **notbarryallen:** you too!

 **Lancelot:** Doesn’t everyone know that show?

 **animalgirl:** I don’t.

 **Lancelot:** Correction: doesn’t everyone who lives in 2018 know that show?

 **MissTimeBureau:** I don’t know that show.

 **Lancelot:** Well, Aves, I guess I know what to watch next

 **Trenchcoat:** Did you say I look good, squire?

 **notbarryallen:** more like cool

 **AgentGeek:** You look great

 **Trenchcoat:** Oh I know

 **ZariIsTheBest:** guess who we met on the crime scene

 **MissTimeBureau:** Crime scene?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** the wendigo killed and ate a couple, it was gross

 **ZariIsTheBest:** and it was a police investigation

 **Lancelot:** Right

 **animalgirl:** I did not need to know that.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** sorry

 **Jaxon:** well who was it, kendrick lamar?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** [ _image attached_ : zariandlucifer.jpeg]

 **ZariIsTheBest:** [ _image attached_ : zariandthemorningstars.jpeg]

 **Lancelot:** Is that Lucifer? As in, the devil?

 **notbarryallen:** yup

 **notbarryallen:** he remembered us, can you believe

 **ZariIsTheBest:** also in 2023 he and Chloe are married

 **MissTimeBureau:** Wait, what?

 **Trenchcoat:** I can hardly believe that either

 **ZariIsTheBest:** yeah, they told me they tied the knot in 2020

 **ZariIsTheBest:** she’s amazing, by the way

 **notbarryallen:** we might or might not be on our way to lux now

 **Lancelot:** Alright, do what you want, but know that I won’t save your asses from any trouble that comes out of it. That’s just too much

 **Lancelot:** I need this peaceful evening to turn into a peaceful night with Brooklyn nine-nine and maybe a bath and housewarming sex, not another legends-induced catastrophe

 **ZariIsTheBest:** copy that, we’ll stay out of (further) trouble

 **Trenchcoat:** Enjoy the bath and the sex, love

 **Trenchcoat:** And think of me, will ya?

 **Lancelot:** NO

 **Lancelot:** What do you mean, further trouble?

 **notbarryallen:** don’t ask

 **notbarryallen:** you don’t want to know

 **Lancelot:** You’re right, I better don’t

 **Lancelot:** But seriously, if he turns out to have a torture dungeon where he’ll lock you all up, don’t say I didn’t warn you

 **ZariIsTheBest:** relax, Sara, Chloe’s with us

 **MissTimeBureau:** You’re talking about the woman who married the Devil knowing who he is.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** guess we’ll see

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I trust his dad to keep us safe

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I mean, what did we ever get into that we didn’t find our way out of in a very creative, impossible way

 **Lancelot:** That’s true

 **notbarryallen:** amen


	26. [interlude] desire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did anyone ask for more lucifer? no? never mind. i had to. enjoy!

‘So tell me, John, what is it you truly desire? You’ve never answered that question for me.’ Lucifer’s eyes bore into his. It was a very powerful stare; something inside him stirred. ‘What do you want the most?’

John leant closer and sipped at his drink. ‘To have a threesome with Gary and Sara Lance,’ he said, and smirked. ‘Doesn’t work on me, mate.’

Close. It was close.

‘Ah, pity. I was curious what someone as damaged as you might want, perhaps a trip to heaven when your time comes?’ Lucifer crossed his legs. He gave John a thorough once-over. ‘Or a little fashion advice from the Devil?’

‘Oh, bugger off.’ The old trenchcoat was John’s brand—he’d never give it up. He finished the drink. ‘You’ll never find out what I want, Morningstar. You have no power over me—not until I kick the bucket, anyway, then I’m all yours.’ He gave the devil a faux smile and got up.

Gary was sitting at the bar, sipping at something awfully colourful and carefully listening to Ray playing Lucifer’s piano side by side with Chloe Morningstar, dreamy-eyed. John sat down next to him.

‘What in hell are you drinking, love?’

‘It’s called a swimming pool,’ Gary said and slid the half-empty glass to John, who scoffed at it. ‘No, thanks.’ He waved at the bartender. ‘Give me another whisky, thanks.’

Anything to help him get his mind off the case they’ve been on today, and sitting in Lux again, one chair next to the one he’s been knocking back one drink after another and ogling the dancers on the last time he wound up here.

He saw Lucifer walking to the seat Nora, Zari, Wally, and Mick were sitting at. Then his drink arrived.

 

* * *

 

Zari pointed at Wally. She shook her head. ‘No, the ghoul was definitely worse than this.’

He made a disgusted face. ‘No, no, no. It wasn’t. This wendigo eats people, Z. It _eats people_.’

‘So does the ghoul, but it eats _dead_ people, and that’s infinitely more gross and gory.’

‘Stop talking about it,’ said Nora, and sent a glare in Zari and Wally’s direction. She turned her tall wine glass in her fingers without drinking its contents.

Mick drank his beers non-stop. ‘Let’s agree they were all nasty fuckers.’

In the same motion as Mick, Wally drank some of his beer too and then said, ‘That’s true.’

Soft piano music created with the collective effort of Ray and Chloe filled the club, dew ran down the cold beer bottles, the apocalypse has been averted more-or-less without the usual ballyhoo. This was a perfect night out with the Legends in LA—so why did Zari have this feeling it was going to turn around very fast and very soon?

Lucifer approached their small group with a smile on his face and a drink in his hand. With the other hand, he pointed at a bit of space next to Nora. ‘May I sit?’

There was scepticism in her eyes. Mistrust. But she said, ‘Sure.’

‘Ah, wonderful.’ He sat down. ‘So what exactly _do_ you Legends do, hunt monsters? I’m intrigued to finally meet you.’

Zari answered, ‘Well, actually we save time and space from mythical entities. Aliens too, sometimes.’

She shouldn’t think this man was interesting and charming and _nice_. He was the Devil. But she couldn’t help but be fascinated by him nonetheless. He was an actual angel with wings, and if angels were real, well—

‘You’ve mentioned time travel before. How exactly does that work, if you don’t mind me asking?’

‘I’ll be damned if I know,’ she sighed. It was the perfect time to take a gulp of her coke.

Nora turned to Lucifer. ‘Nobody knows, maybe Palmer over there,’ she tilted her head in the piano’s direction. Nate was leaning against it and laughing about something. ‘He’s the geeky scientist of the ship.’

Lucifer looked over there and back at Nora. He measured her for a second, calculating. ‘You’re the one who was possessed by Malice, aren’t you? I can smell it on you.’

She glanced at her drink and scratched the surface of the wooden table her fingernail absently. ‘It was twenty years.’

He laid a hand on her shoulder. She shivered. ‘You poor soul,’ he said in his velvety voice, and it almost sounded like he cared. ‘Must’ve been awful, you couldn’t even enjoy human life with all its pleasures, and all for that old sod.’ He offered her the drink that stood in front of him. It was probably scotch. ‘Here, drink this, it’s on me.’

‘I’m not sure if that can help, but thanks.’ She knocked it back and slammed the glass on the table.

Lucifer, his hand still on her shoulder, focused on her eyes. ‘And what do _you_ desire, hmm?’

Zari raised he eyebrow and watched. She’s heard about the Devil’s little trick, or ability, or whatever it was that enabled him to draw out people’s secret desires. She wished he wouldn’t ask her.

‘I—’ Nora hesitated. ‘I want to be a good person, make amends for what I’ve done to hurt people. And—’ She sucked in a breath.

‘And?’

‘Maybe get drunk and make out with Zari or Ray or anyone and _forget_.’

Oh.

_Oh._

Zari finished the rest of her coke, feeling four pairs of eyes on her. She put the glass away. The ice cubes fell back onto the bottom of the glass with a dull clink.

A turnaround indeed.


	27. ooh, drama

**2018/08/30**

 

 **Lancelot:** So are you guys alive?

 **Lancelot:** I haven’t heard from you since six pm yesterday

 **notbarryallen:** yes we’re alive

 **notbarryallen:** mostly

 **Lancelot:** Mostly???

 **notbarryallen:** zari’s been weirdly quiet for a while bc of something nora said

 **notbarryallen:** and I think nora’s hungover af

 **gayforray:** ooh, drama

 **gayforray:** morning, captain

 **Lancelot:** Do I want to ask what happened?

 **notbarryallen:** no

 **gayforray:** enjoy your breakfast, Sara

 **Lancelot:** How do you know I’m having breakfast right now

 **gayforray:** psychic

 **rayofsunshine:** We’ve developed a certain routine, so it was an easy guess that you’d be having breakfast at the same time we are.

 **Lancelot:** Huh, I never noticed that

 **Lancelot:** My breakfast is better than your though

 **Lancelot:** Ava’s cooking

 **Lancelot:** [ _image attached_ : avacooking.jpeg]

 **gayforray:** what are you two lovebirds having?

 **Lancelot:** Don’t… don’t say that

 **gayforray:** what, lovebirds?

 **Lancelot:** Yeah

 **gayforray:** but your superhero name is literally _canary_

 **Lancelot:** We’re having eggs and bacon on fresh toast and some croissants

 **Trenchcoat:** I could use a good old full English right now

 **rayofsunshine:** Then get up and have it, John.

 **Trenchcoat:** I have a counteroffer, why don’t you make some and bring it here

 **notbarryallen:** or I could fetch you

 **Trenchcoat:** Please, be so kind and don’t do that

 **Trenchcoat:** Once was enough

 **notbarryallen:** I still remember your face

 **Lancelot:** Didn’t Zari get it on video?

 **notbarryallen:** she did

 **rayofsunshine:** So why exactly isn’t Zari talking to us? I seem to have missed something.

 **notbarryallen:** you were too busy jamming on that piano with mrs morningstar…

 **Lancelot:** I never knew you could play the piano, Ray

 **rayofsunshine:** Well, it’s one of my many talents.

 **notbarryallen:** lucifer did that thing with his eyes where he can draw out your desires

 **notbarryallen:** on nora

 **notbarryallen:** and she said she wanted to a good person but also she wanted to forget

 **notbarryallen:** and that she wanted to get drunk and make out with someone

 **notbarryallen:** namely zari or, um, ray

**Lancelot: 👀**

**gayforray:** DRAMA

 **rayofsunshine:** …

 **rayofsunshine:** I knew there was something!

 **gayforray:** honey you’re taken. by me

 **rayofsunshine:** I didn’t mean that I would want to make out with Nora Darhk. Definitely not.

 **rayofsunshine:** But I’m glad I haven’t been reading things wrong.

 **gayforray:** excuse me

 **Lancelot:** Nate, are you all right? You seem to be a bit off today

 **gayforray:** oh yeah I should probably mention Lucifer gave me some good stuff yesterday

 **gayforray:** so let’s talk about nora and zari

 **gayforray:** where are they

 **notbarryallen:** probably in their room

 **Lancelot:** That’s interesting…

 **rayofsunshine:** Do you think something happened?

 **notbarryallen:** nah

 **notbarryallen:** at least not now

 **Lancelot:** So you’re saying they’ve been there since yesterday

 **notbarryallen:** as far as I know zari helped carry drunk nora to her bed

 **rayofsunshine:** Look who came.

 **rayofsunshine:** [ _image attached_ : grumpyjohn.jpeg]

**Lancelot: 😂**

**notbarryallen:** that face makes me want to come back to the kitchen

 **gayforray:** my boyfriend, master of subtly changing the topic, strikes again

 **ZariIsTheBest:** guys, shut up, I’m embarrassed

 **notbarryallen:** look who’s talking to us now

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I was asleep

 **ZariIsTheBest:** how can you eat breakfast without me, I’m offended

 **rayofsunshine:** Sorry, we didn’t know what to think.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** and what exactly do you think happened

 **notbarryallen:** you were quite mortified yesterday after nora said, you know, that

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I didn’t see that coming, that’s all, why do you make such a big deal out of it

 **gayforray:** we love drama

 **Lancelot:** That’s true

 **ZariIsTheBest:** except when it’s all about you, Nate, am I right

 **gayforray:** I don’t know what you’re talking about, young lady

 **ZariIsTheBest:** a month ago, when we were trying to make you realize you’re in love with Ray?

 **gayforray:** god, I was a jerk

 **rayofsunshine:** Come and have breakfast with us, Zari!

 **notbarryallen:** how’s nora

 **ZariIsTheBest:** might be dead

 **ZariIsTheBest:** all I can see is a blanket cocoon

 **gayforray:** that’s weirdly relatable

 **Lancelot:** I see you show a lot of concern for your roommate, Zari

 **ZariIsTheBest:** nope, not dead

 **ZariIsTheBest:** [ _image attached_ : grouch.jpeg]

 **notbarryallen:** yikes you got the bird

 **ZariIsTheBest:** a word of advice: when you see a blanket cocoon, do not try to wake it up

 **ZariIsTheBest:** alright, I’m coming, suckers

 **Lancelot:** Enjoy

 **Lancelot:** I’m having amazing breakfast with an amazing woman, far away from you

 **gayforray:** you don’t have to keep reminding us your life is better now

 **Lancelot:** No, but it’s fun

 **Lancelot:** [ _image attached_ : cuteava.jpeg]

 **gayforray:** aww

 **ZariIsTheBest:** oh wow

 **gayforray:** here have some cute ray

 **gayforray:** [ _image attached_ : ray242.jpeg]

 **gayforray:** also mick

 **gayforray:** [ _image attached_ : mick39.jpeg]

 **notbarryallen:** oh man you have 242 pics of ray in your cell?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** and only 39 of Mick

 **Lancelot:** Mick’s face on that one is perfect

 **gayforray:** is that too many? or not enough? he’s my boyfriend. I’m confused

 **Lancelot:** That’s a _lot_

 **ZariIsTheBest:** how many pictures of Ava do you have, Sara

 **Lancelot:** Uhh

 **Lancelot:** 20?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** nuh-uh

 **Lancelot:** 196

 **rayofsunshine:** You have 242 photos of me? That’s nice.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** @Lancelot I knew it

 **Lancelot:** So what

 **gayforray:** how many pictures of Nora do you have

 **ZariIsTheBest:** four and they’re all hilarious faces like today

 **ZariIsTheBest:** why do you care

 **notbarryallen:** I thought there was some, yk, development yesterday

 **ZariIsTheBest:** ok but wanting to make out with me isn’t the same as liking me

 **ZariIsTheBest:** she said the same thing about Ray 👀

 **rayofsunshine:** But I have done nothing to encourage her. You, on the other hand…

 **ZariIsTheBest:** maybe I did, yeah, but mostly like for fun?

 **Lancelot:** You sure, Z

 **Lancelot:** Jesus, why does this feel so much like season one of B99

 **gayforray:** ooohh that’s good

 **gayforray:** you’re Jake and Amy

 **ZariIsTheBest:** if that were true I’d be Jake, but it’s not

 **notbarryallen:** /gina voice/ no, honey, you’re amy, the oblivious one

 **notbarryallen:** nora is the childish bisexual who confesses by accident /gina voice over/

 **gayforray:** that’s not how it happened in the show

 **Lancelot:** I’m here for bi Jake, to be honest

 **notbarryallen:** no one on b99 is straight, pass it on

 **Lancelot:** Just like us *Waverider emoji* *rainbow heart* 😘

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you’re in a good mood today

 **Lancelot:** Well, what can I say, the first night at our place was really great ;)

 **Lancelot:** But I know you’re trying to change the topic, Zari

 **gayforray:** you’ll tell us the details later

 **gayforray:** I had a thought

 **notbarryallen:** that’s great, the baby has developed a mind!

 **gayforray:** haha

 **gayforray:** no but if anyone’s Jake and Amy it’s Ray and me

 **gayforray:** I’m Jake, he’s such an Amy

 **rayofsunshine:** Oh no, baby, you’re right.

 **rayofsunshine:** I’m definitely an Amy. Why did I not see that before?

 **Lancelot:** I agree

 **notbarryallen:** you and ava are holt and kevin

 **Lancelot:** That’s not true, I’m more fun than Holt

 **rayofsunshine:** Sara, he’s hilarious.

 **Lancelot:** Of course Amy would think so

 **notbarryallen:** zari is a nicer version of gina

 **notbarryallen:** mick is the sarge

 **gayforray:** Nora is Rosa Diaz

 **notbarryallen:** okay but that leaves boyle to me and I’m not boyle

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I think some regards you are

 **ZariIsTheBest:** and I definitely agree on all of this

 **notbarryallen:** some regards?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** from what I heard, relationships, and you love food

 **Lancelot:** John and Gary are Hitchcock and Scully

 **Lancelot:** They’re weird and don’t get much done

 **Trenchcoat:** I beg to differ, you’d be fucked without me

 **notbarryallen:** remember when gina said to rosa “in another lifetime you and I would make a hot ass couple”

 **notbarryallen:** if zari is gina and nora is rosa

 **gayforray:** it all fits

 **ZariIsTheBest:** shut up, Jake

 **ZariIsTheBest:** to be honest, I live for John always showing up when we talk about him

 **Trenchcoat:** I’m watching you

 **gayforray:** in this version, both Gina and Rosa are happily single, which can mean only one thing

 **gayforray:** Zari, just ask her out

 **ZariIsTheBest:** how do you know I even like her?

 **notbarryallen:** do you?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I don’t know

 **notbarryallen:** I think that’s a good start

 **ZariIsTheBest:** this chat was so much more fun when we gave relationship advice to Ray and Nate and teased Constantine and Gary

 **Trenchcoat:** I disagree

 **gayforray:** agree to disagree

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I hate you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm rewatching b99 now so of course i had to add some references ;)


	28. all we need is a dog

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the late update you guys. it's almost been two weeks... but i'm writing the family chronicles and school started again so i'm a bit busy. but i promise to try to post at least one chapter a week. really.
> 
> enjoy!

**2018/09/02**

 

 **notbarryallen:** another case closed

 **notbarryallen:** so are you guys ready for the housewarming party at sara and ava’s??? 🎉

 **grunt:** if you have food and beer

 **gayforray:** yeah, man! I could party every day

 **rayofsunshine:** No, Nate, you couldn’t, you would collapse if you did.

 **gayforray:** you know what I meant, babe

 **ZariIsTheBest:** of course we have food and beer, @grunt, can’t be a party without it

 **ZariIsTheBest:** at least by your standards

 **grunt:** great

 **ZariIsTheBest:** [ _image attached_ : frontdoor.jpeg]

 **ZariIsTheBest:** the house is decorated and ready to see you in

 **Lancelot:** Just a warning though, if you destroy or puke on anything, I’ll hurt you

 **gayforray:** hello to you too, captain

 **MissTimeBureau:** Forgive Sara’s manners, but this is our house we’re talking about.

 **MissTimeBureau:** @Trenchcoat @AgentGeek I’d also like to warn you not to practice magic or demonic rituals or whatever you like to do, please.

 **Trenchcoat:** And I was going to bring bat’s ears and the blood of Judas to perform this very complicated spell I needed to locate a demon I’ve been looking for

 **Lancelot:** Very funny, John

 **Trenchcoat:** No, I was actually going to do that

 **MissTimeBureau:** Blood of Judas?

 **MissTimeBureau:** No, I don’t want to know.

 **rayofsunshine:** Ah, it’s like the time Tolkien found the blood of Jesus to destroy the Spear of Destiny! Except in reverse.

 **Trenchcoat:** You were in possession of Jesus’ blood? Why didn’t you tell me, I needed some last month

 **Lancelot:** It was only for a short time, so

 **Trenchcoat:** Still, it’s a very powerful magical relic, very impressive for you lot

 **rayofsunshine:** Why thank you!

 **AgentGeek:** I finally get to go to your house, boss? I’ve always wanted to see what it looks like

 **MissTimeBureau:** Don’t push it, Gary, I can still uninvite you.

 **AgentGeek:** Please don’t do that, I’ll be nice

 **Trenchcoat:** I’ll make sure of that

 **Lancelot:** Well, I don’t know if you’re the right person to say that

 **ZariIsTheBest:** better than Mick

 **rayofsunshine:** I’ll have you know, Mick is good at watching people if you tell him to.

 **grunt:** I’m no one’s dog

 **rayofsunshine:** I didn’t… imply that…

 **ZariIsTheBest:** oh, Ray

 **MiniDarhk:** sounded a bit like that, sunshine

 **MiniDarhk:** okay just to be clear you don’t hate me, right?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** why would we hate you???

 **MiniDarhk:** because of the things I said when I was drunk

 **Lancelot:** We all say things when we’re drunk, Nora, we’re the Legends

 **gayforray:** that’s true 👉👉

 **notbarryallen:** I still remember that conversation

 **rayofsunshine:** Speedster cocktail?

 **notbarryallen:** yeah

 **gayforray:** I’m still embarrassed

 **Lancelot:** It got you and Nate together

 **rayofsunshine:** That’s true.

 **gayforray:** still embarrassed

 **gayforray:** I said those things to _everyone_

 **ZariIsTheBest:** so did Nora, pretty much

 **MiniDarhk:** yeah

 **MiniDarhk:** so I am invited to lady time bureau’s house

 **Lancelot:** Not if you keep calling my girlfriend that

 **MiniDarhk:** noted, miss lady time bureau’s girlfriend

 **notbarryallen:** nice one

 **Lancelot:** I’ll let that one pass

 **ZariIsTheBest:** so are you guys gonna move your lazy asses and come

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Constantine, don’t say anything, I realize my mistake

 **Trenchcoat:** You didn’t know what I was gonna say

 **ZariIsTheBest:** yeah I did

 **notbarryallen:** I saw it too

 **ZariIsTheBest:** shut up

 **ZariIsTheBest:** just come here

 **notbarryallen:** we have food

 **notbarryallen:** and beds too

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Wally West

 **notbarryallen:** I’m shutting up

 **rayofsunshine:** Aren’t you in the same room?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** aren’t you and Nate?

 **notbarryallen:** actually we’re not

 **notbarryallen:** [ _image attached_ : wallyandsara.jpeg]

 **MissTimeBureau:** Are you hiding from me in the garden?

 **Lancelot:** Absolutely not

 **Lancelot:** I was just showing Wally the garden, because he was _interested_

 **rayofsunshine:** You guys have a garden?

 **MissTimeBureau:** I grow my own vegetables, and I have some fruit trees as well.

 **notbarryallen:** it’s so cool

 **notbarryallen:** everything’s healthy and organic

 **Lancelot:** And, most of all, real

 **ZariIsTheBest:** are you insulting the food fabricator

 **Lancelot:** No, I’m saying a real apple pie is 1000 times better

 **Lancelot:** And damn, Ava can _cook_

 **gayforray:** she’s a perfect match for you

 **Lancelot:** I know

 **MissTimeBureau:** As if your sandwiches weren’t absolutely amazing, Sara.

 **Lancelot:** Thanks, Aves <3

 **Lancelot:** But you do know they’re pretty much the only thing I can make without causing a disaster

 **notbarryallen:** mood

 **MiniDarhk:** mood

 **rayofsunshine:** Social media is ruining the English language.

 **Jaxon:** big mood

 **notbarryallen:** you have something to say, bro?

 **notbarryallen:** hey jax

 **Jaxon:** hey

 **Jaxon:** i heard there was a housewarming party for sara and ava

 **Lancelot:** Jax! You’re always invited

 **rayofsunshine:** I just don’t understand those new expressions sometimes. I have to look them up in the urban dictionary all the time.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** says someone who uses lol unironically

 **rayofsunshine:** This one has been here for years!

 **ZariIsTheBest:** /whispers/ what

 **gayforray:** Zari was that a vine quote

 **MiniDarhk:** I made her watch all the vines with me

 **ZariIsTheBest:** repeatedly

 **gayforray:** noice

 **notbarryallen:** toight

 **MiniDarhk:** no regrets here

 **rayofsunshine:** Sara, you shouldn’t have mentioned Brooklyn Nine-Nine, they’re all about that now.

 **Lancelot:** Have you got a problem, Santiago?

 **gayforray:** anyone else read that in Holt voice

 **notbarryallen:** everyone?

 **Trenchcoat:** Are you making fun of English accent

 **gayforray:** Jake and Charles do

 **notbarryallen:** they’re making an impression, that’s different, mate

 **Jaxon:** did i miss sth big

 **Lancelot:** I might’ve mentioned b99 and it ended up in us being compared to the characters

 **Jaxon:** and youre holt

 **Lancelot:** Apparently

 **Jaxon:** who am i

 **gayforray:** this is tough

 **notbarryallen:** and who is Amaya, anyway?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Jax, you’re Doug Judy

 **Jaxon:** the pontiac bandit? nooo

 **gayforray:** she’s got a point

 **gayforray:** you’re fun and friends with me even though we don’t see each other often

 **Jaxon:** and black just say it

 **gayforray:** and that

 **notbarryallen:** wait can you sing

 **Jaxon:** such a stupid question course i can

 **ZariIsTheBest:** WALLY CAN SING

 **gayforray:** that’s true 👌

 **gayforray:** also Amaya is Sharon, she’s the nice mom who can get real angry sometimes

 **notbarryallen:** why did you give me away like this

 **ZariIsTheBest:** because it’s true

 **ZariIsTheBest:** and I agree with Nate 👍

 **gayforray:** she is good friends with Mick so it fits

 **Lancelot:** How are we all b99 characters

 **MiniDarhk:** unbelievable

 **gayforray:** we’re handsome, gay, make stupid decisions and bad jokes, mess things up but still end up doing our jobs perfectly

 **gayforray:** now am I talking about them or us

 **notbarryallen:** honestly

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Nate has a point

 **MissTimeBureau:** All we need is a dog.

 **Lancelot:** It’d be our baby

 **gayforray:** wait a minute

 **MissTimeBureau:** Do you want to get a dog?

 **Lancelot:** I don’t know, they’re a big responsibility and with our jobs, I don’t know if we could take care of it

 **Lancelot:** But I’d love to start a family with you, Aves

 **rayofsunshine:** Plus you really love dogs.

 **Lancelot:** Yeah, I do

 **rayofsunshine:** Dog people unite!

 **notbarryallen:** hell yeah

 **gayforray:** yes, count me in, babe

 **ZariIsTheBest:** not to hurt your feelings but I prefer cats

 **notbarryallen:** NO

 **ZariIsTheBest:** YES

 **ZariIsTheBest:** they’re cute and cuddly and funny

 **Lancelot:** So are dogs, plus they’re loyal and don’t bring dead mice home

 **ZariIsTheBest:** forgive me, but you don’t seem like the person who would mind that

 **Lancelot:** Oh I do mind, they’re _mice_

 **gayforray:** is Sara secretly scared of mice

 **Lancelot:** No, I’m not!

 **MissTimeBureau:** Are you?

 **Lancelot:** No! We have mice on the Waverider

 **rayofsunshine:** Still?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** does Mick ever stop dropping crumbs

 **rayofsunshine:** Ah, that’s true.

 **gayforray:** so we’re here! knock knock

 **Lancelot:** I can hear your knocking, you don’t have to text

 **gayforray:** but I want to

 **Lancelot:** Okay, Peralta

 **gayforray:** yeah

 **MissTimeBureau:** Did you bring cheap wine?

 **gayforray:** joke’s on you, Zari and Wally already brought all the food and drink

 **gayforray:** Kevin

 **MissTimeBureau:** Will you ever stop doing this?

 **notbarryallen:** no

 **notbarryallen:** besides, you started it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i couldn't drop the b99 references ;p or the fact keiynan can indeed sing and i love his music


	29. [interlude] housewarming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was away and offline for the weekend, and i wrote three chapters while i was there. i'm gonna post the following two tomorrow and on tuesday, so stay tuned! those three chapters all happen withing the same day, really, or two days if we're being precise. they directly follow the previous one. and things are getting real here... *smirk emoji* though i didn't really read this one over after i wrote it, so forgive me if there are any mistakes.
> 
> enjoy!

Sara swung the front door open, and she was immediately greeted by her friends and teammates’ excited faces. Some were holding presents, some have brought food, and some were just smiling.

‘Welcome!’ she returned the wide smile and showed them all inside. ‘This is our humble dwelling.’

Zari, Wally, and Ava came into the living room to welcome their friends. Ava wrapped her arms round Sara’s waist and leant into her with a ghost of a kiss on her hair. Warmth spread through her body. For the first time in years, she felt whole.

‘It’s really nice,’ said Ray, looking round. ‘I love how you’ve combined rustic with modern!’

 

* * *

 

Zari turned the music down before she pushed her chair back and stood up, a glass of virgin mojito in hand. She cleared her throat. ‘Okay, I’m not really good at this whole speech thing,’ she said, ‘but since I organised the party, I figured I should do it. So.’ She looked at Sara and Ava, sitting side by side on her right. ‘I think Sara and Ava are a great couple and I really wish you the best. You’re my friends, and I love you, and I know you love each other, so I hope you won’t screw this new life together up. I’ll personally kick your asses if you will.’

Wally leant closer to the couple. ‘Believe her, she doesn’t look like it but she will.’

‘Good speech, Zari, and I believe you,’ Sara said, raising her own glass of a cocktail that contained more vodka than anything. ‘But you were wrong about one thing. We’re family. A very weird one, but still a family, and I’m proud to know you and be here with you. But mostly Ava.’ She turned to her girlfriend; her eyes sparkled. ‘I love you.’

‘I love you too, Sara.’ They shared a quick kiss.

‘To Sara and Ava!’ Zari exclaimed, and they all drank.

 

* * *

 

‘Who wants chicken legs, they’re ready!’ Nate called from the barbecue. He turned a steak. Music and chatter carried from every part of the small garden. There were lights hanging on the trees, which swung lightly in the evening breeze.

Mick shoved a plate in front of him. ‘I want two,’ he said matter-of-factly. There were only six on the grill.

‘Okay,’ Nate replied, drawing the y. He carefully took two crispy legs and laid them on the plate. ‘Anyone else? I have the peppers too, they’re from Ava’s garden!’

‘I could’ve roasted this with my gun, it would’ve been faster,’ Mick said more to himself before he shuffled over to a group of Jax, Wally, Zari, and Nora.

Ray approached Nate, holding a half-full glass of some fruity concoction. ‘How’s it going, do you want my help?’

‘No, thank you,’ he answered, checking the peppers. There were red and green ones, and some were already turning black. He pointed at Ray’s drink with a spatula. ‘What have you got there?’

‘Mango juice with a splash of rum, strawberries, pineapples, and mangoes,’ he said, excited. ‘Want to try it?’ He offered the straw to Nate, who sipped at the sugary cocktail carefully.

‘Hmm, that’s good,’ he admitted. ‘Pepper?’

Ray shook his head. ‘Not really, but I’ll go ask Sara and Ava!’

They both turned their heads to the couple, sitting together on a bench and laughing about something one or the other said. They were unusually relaxed and blissful. They were happy for the women. ‘Good idea,’ Nate said and put the slightly charred vegetables on a plate, which he handed to Ray with a peck on his cheek.

Then Wally ran to him in full speed and almost caused him to knock the grill over. ‘Can I have that steak?’ he asked, pointing at the large hunk of pork that was too big for a normal human.

‘Sure, it’ll be ready in five minutes.’

 

* * *

  

‘Noooo, we’re not doing karaoke,’ Sara protested loudly, having enough drinks in her system already.

Wally, adamant, waved the microphone at in front of her face. ‘Yes, we are! I’ll go first if no one wants to have the honour.’

‘That’s a great idea,’ John said, deadpan. No one really knew what he was currently doing in the living room, but they didn’t ask. He’s lost his tie about an hour ago.

‘Okay!’ Wally searched through the list of songs before he chose one. ‘Let’s do _The Show Must Go On_!’

Jax clapped his hands and hooted. ‘Yeah, man!’

 

* * *

  

Gary was vomiting in the kitchen sink. Zari froze in the doorway when she saw him bent over the counter and John by his side, holding him tightly round his shoulders. She just wanted to get more soda water…

Then John turned round and noticed her. ‘Nothing to see here, love, just my boyfriend being unable to hold his drink.’

‘Okay,’ she replied and tried to recall whether there were some leftover beverages in the garden. ‘I’ll just—I’ll leave you to it.’ She backed out of the room. She really didn’t understand why people drank alcohol when it just made them sick and cranky afterwards.

She went and opened the back door. The garden was lit even more beautifully in the dark, and she made out the shape of a person sitting on the edge of the porch. She stepped closer and then saw it was Nora.

‘Hey, what are you doing here, all alone in the dark?’ she asked.

Nora jumped a little. She tried to hide it when she spoke. ‘I like the dark. I can clear my head here. It’s too crowded inside.’ Her voice was low.

Zari walked to her. ‘Can I sit?’

‘Yeah.’ Nora took a swig of a beer. In front of her was a plate with some tomato and grilled tofu remainders. It must have gone cold. Zari sat down and hugged her knees. The air was fresh but still warm at the end of August.

‘Will you eat that?’ she pointed at the plate.

‘Not really, you can finish it if you want. It’s cold, though.’ Nora picked it up and handed it to Zari. They sat in silence while Zari ate, and looked at the stars.

 

* * *

  

‘Put the gun down, Mick.’ It was an order. He didn’t look as though he was about to obey it.

‘Why? The time pig’s started it!’ Mick held his fire gun at Gary, who was cowering on an armchair, hands lifted in surrender and glasses askew.

‘I said I’m sorry!’ he squealed. Mick wasn’t convinced.

Ava put on her authoritative voice. ‘Mr Rory, now. This is _my house_ and you won’t light anything on fire.’

John stepped in front of Gary. ‘Gentlemen, let’s be reasonable,’ he said. ‘I’m sure we can sort this without an outbreak of violence. What do you say about a duel?’

Sara and Ava both yelled at him, ‘NO! No duels!’

Mick grunted.

‘Alright, but it would’ve been fun,’ John grinned and put a cigarette into his mouth. He didn’t light it. ‘Come on, Gary, let’s go somewhere private.’ He helped the scared man out of the armchair and led him toward the back door, not at all scared of being hit by fire. Before they disappeared, he sent a wink to Sara.

Mick finally lowered his gun with a growl and went to the kitchen to get a cold beer. Crisis averted.

‘Do you think Gary will be sick again?’ Sara whispered to Ava.

‘He looks that way, yeah,’ she agreed and they sat on the sofa again. The tension slowly left the room. ‘This is a catastrophe, isn’t it?’

‘Well, Mick didn’t _actually_ set anything on fire, John and Gary didn’t have sex, there is nothing spilt on the floor, and Nate only burned the food a little, so I say it’s not so bad,’ said Sara and leant back with a sigh. She took a pillow and hugged it. She looked at Ava. ‘I’m glad Zari convinced us to do this, anyway.’

‘I can’t believe I’m saying this, but so am I. The Legends are growing on me.’

‘Aww, that’s sweet,’ Sara bumped her knee into Ava’s. Her head fell on her shoulder. ‘Speaking of Zari, where is she anyway? I haven’t seen her since she went to grab a soda.’

‘Who knows.’ The playlist Wally has put on was currently playing ABBA. They remembered their recent trip to the cinema with Lily, Jax, and his girlfriend. It was 10 PM and Jax has already left because he and Carly had plans.

Suddenly a wave of wind rose as Wally sprinted into the living room. Sara’s hair got into her face, and an empty crisps packet flew into the air and fell on the floor. ‘Guys, come into the kitchen. I’ve got news!’ was all he said before he was gone and the wind messed up Sara’s hair even more.

Ava looked at the direction of his escape. ‘Should we follow?’ she asked.

Sara put her pillow away and tried to make her hair look acceptable again. ‘Yeah,’ she shrugged. They both got up and walked into the kitchen as quickly as non-gifted humans could. Nate, Ray, and Mick were standing by the kitchen counter nervously, while Wally sat on a table, ready to spill whatever he’s learnt out.

‘Don’t tease us and say what you called us here for,’ Nate said, a little uncertain on some syllables. He’s had quite a number of shots and cocktails, and even Ray has, oddly enough, had two drinks with rum.

‘So, as I said, I’ve got some news. I went to the garden to get some fresh air and guess what, or rather whom, I saw there!’ he looked round. An eyebrow went up. There was a dramatic pause. ‘Zari and Nora. Making. Out!’

Ava’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. Sara grinned. Nate opened his mouth wide and nudged Ray in his ribs. Ray said, ‘Zari and Nora are doing what now?’ At the same time, Mick muttered, ‘That’s hot.’ His mind was working up the mental image, probably.

Wally tapped his foot on a chair. ‘Yeah,’ he was grinning as well. ‘Guys, I caught them in the act, right there on the porch. They were so occupied with each other they didn’t even notice me opening the door.’

Nate walked to Wally. He laid his hand on his shoulder. ‘Tell us everything, buddy.’

Ava whispered in Sara’s ear, ‘So I guess we know where Zari is now.’

‘Oh, you’re right.’

‘I’m not sure if I approve of it, though. Nora Darhk is, after all—’

Nate interrupted them, ‘Shut up! I want to hear the details!’

‘Didn’t John and Gary go out for a smoke?’ Ray suddenly asked, and everyone froze. They were going to be in trouble.

‘Everyone, scatter, they can’t know we know,’ Nate reacted, waving his hands round. He grabbed Ray’s arm and started dragging him out of the kitchen. In the doorway, he paused and whispered, ‘Act natural.’ He added a wink.

Sara found Ava’s hand and laced their fingers together. ‘So, Sharpe, want to go cuddle on the sofa again and pretend we didn’t hear any of this?’

‘I’ve already forgotten everything,’ she answered. ‘Let me have a drink first, though.’

 

* * *

  

There were sounds. The door was opening; voices. Zari hurriedly pulled away with a flush she was sure that was obvious even in the dark.

She recognised John’s accent. She quickly removed her hands from where they were holding Nora and laid them on the wooden floor. She cleared her throat and refused to look Nora’s way.

This has been… an unexpected development. She wasn’t sure what to make of this, the fact she and Nora _kissed_. One part of her was embarrassed, the other, well, wanted to pull those lips into another kiss.

‘Ladies, what are you doing here this late?’ John asked, looking at both of them with slight amusement.

Zari cleared her throat. ‘We were just—’

‘Admiring the night sky,’ Nora finished for her.

‘You mean you were snogging,’ John stated, a smile playing on his lips, clutching a cigarette. He pulled out a lighter. Behind him stood Gary, not looking quite well.

‘Uh,’ Zari was rendered speechless. ‘No, we weren’t…’

Nora looked him in the eye. In the light of fairy lights, their eyes glistened. ‘So what if we were?’ she asked, and it sounded close to a threat.

‘We’ll let you have some privacy, right, Gary?’ he turned to his boyfriend and back to the two women. ‘I’ll have a fag on the front stairs. Have fun, and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.’

‘You’d do anything,’ Zari observed.

‘Exactly.’ The pair left them with a mysterious grin on John’s face and confusion on Gary’s.

Zari gazed at Nora and bit her lip. ‘So, are we gonna talk about what’s just happened, or?’

‘Well, I think I can say I definitely like girls,’ she said after a second of silence with a sheepish smile. She reached for a strand of hair hanging loosely out of Zari’s ponytail and tucked it behind her ear. ‘And you can blame it on all the alcohol I’ve had, but I like you, Tomaz.’

‘I—okay,’ Zari flushed again. ‘That’s great because, uh, I think I like you too, Nora. And no alcohol here,’ she laughed awkwardly, ‘but I’m not really good with feelings and, you know. So can we maybe not do this right now? If that’s okay with you. I need some time to think about it. Thanks.’

She got up and hurried inside, not looking at the expression in Nora’s face.


	30. too much information

**2018/09/03**

 

 **notbarryallen:** sooooo

 **notbarryallen:** zari and nora, huh 👀

 **animalgirl:** What happened?

 **gayforray:** guys, we’re not supposed to know about it or talk about it

 **notbarryallen:** oops

 **gayforray:** I’m really hungover ugh

 **animalgirl:** What happened between Zari and Nora?

 **grunt:** they made out

 **gayforray:** MICK

 **animalgirl:** …Is it serious?

 **Lancelot:** I don’t know and I’m not sure I want to know

 **Trenchcoat:** It’s definitely serious, I know when I see it

 **Lancelot:** Really, John, you?

 **Trenchcoat:** I’m kind of an expert on all things love

 **notbarryallen:** love spells, right

 **gayforray:** have you even told Gary you love him yet

 **gayforray:** because we know he told you, repeatedly

 **Trenchcoat:** That’s personal and I’m not drunk enough to talk about that with you

 **AgentGeek:** He has

 **AgentGeek:** Once

 **AgentGeek:** During sex

 **gayforray:** aha!

 **Trenchcoat:** Traitor

 **MissTimeBureau:** Too much information.

 **notbarryallen:** but back to zari and nora

 **Lancelot:** Guys, I’m pretty sure Zari doesn’t want to talk about that

 **Lancelot:** Or know that we know

 **animalgirl:** And it’s one AM, you should be sleeping.

 **gayforray:** why aren’t you sleeping then, Amaya? it’s even later in Africa

 **animalgirl:** That’s a fair point, Nathaniel, but I couldn’t sleep so I went out to have some fresh air.

 **gayforray:** there’s fresh air everywhere where you live

 **animalgirl:** You know what I meant.

 **gayforray:** sorry I just can’t think straight right now, my head is still spinning

 **animalgirl:** How was the party?

 **notbarryallen:** great

 **notbarryallen:** we had barbecue, cocktails, cake, karaoke, and mick threatened to kill gary once

 **grunt:** I didn’t threaten to kill the time pig

 **grunt:** I just wanted to roast him a little bit

 **AgentGeek:** Excuse me but I’m here

 **grunt:** no one cares

 **Lancelot:** John cares, apparently

 **Trenchcoat:** Yes I do, and I’d never let Rory kill Gary, I’d use his own fire against him first, so there was never anything to worry about

 **Lancelot:** That’s still not very reassuring, John

 **rayofsunshine:** I just came back from the shower. Is anything interesting going on?

 **gayforray:** hell yes it is

 **gayforray:** you’re just wearing a towel

 **gayforray:** damn

 **notbarryallen:** that wasn’t necessarily what we wanted to hear

 **Lancelot:** Yeah

 **Lancelot:** And you’re in the same room

 **gayforray:** why does that bother anyone anymore

 **rayofsunshine:** Wait, Mick did what?

 **AgentGeek:** He wanted to burn me alive like I was an elf and he was a fire giant

 **notbarryallen:** you weren’t there?

 **rayofsunshine:** I was in the kitchen with Nate.

 **Lancelot:** You were somewhere off together almost the entire time

 **gayforray:** yeah, okay, can you blame me

 **gayforray:** never mind, gotta go, towel’s off

 **Trenchcoat:** Have fun

 **Lancelot:** I agree with Ava, that’s TMI

 **MiniDarhk:** I open the chat and see that

 **notbarryallen:** n o r a

 **MiniDarhk:** yeah what

 **notbarryallen:** so what happened with zari

 **MiniDarhk:** I’d prefer not to talk about that

 **notbarryallen:** come on

 **MiniDarhk:** that’s private, west, and it doesn’t mean anything, so shut up before I strangle you

 **Lancelot:** Someone’s testy

 **Lancelot:** Means it did mean something but something happened

 **MiniDarhk:** good night, see you at breakfast

 **MiniDarhk:** or maybe not

 **MissTimeBureau:** Sara, what did you just do?

 **MissTimeBureau:** You don’t want to make her angry.

 **Lancelot:** What? I just said the truth

 **notbarryallen:** so what else is going on

 **animalgirl:** Was Nathaniel terrible at karaoke?

 **notbarryallen:** you know nate

 **notbarryallen:** of course he was

 **Lancelot:** Wally’s show must go on was amazing though

 **notbarryallen:** thanks, sara

 **AgentGeek:** John’s mad at me for telling you he told me that he loved me because he didn’t want you to know that

 **AgentGeek:** What do I do

 **MissTimeBureau:** Oh god, Gary. Shouldn’t you figure that out yourself?

 **Lancelot:** You still don’t like when we talk about their relationship, do you, Aves?

 **Lancelot:** Are you still jealous? 😏

 **MissTimeBureau:** I’m not jealous, I’m just, I still don’t trust him.

 **Trenchcoat:** I beg your pardon

 **MissTimeBureau:** No offence.

 **Trenchcoat:** That did seem a bit offensive, pet

 **MissTimeBureau:** Don’t call me that.

 **Trenchcoat:** Or what, you’ll arrest me and bring me to your fancy time bureau?

 **MissTimeBureau:** I’m considering that right now, yeah.

 **Lancelot:** Okay, guys, you can argue tomorrow, I can’t handle this right now

 **Trenchcoat:** Is that a promise

 **MissTimeBureau:** I won’t get down on that level, Constantine, so consider yourself a lucky man.

 **Lancelot:** Great

 **Lancelot:** Now come to bed, Ava?

 **MissTimeBureau:** Are you saying pretty please?

 **Lancelot:** Pretty please <3

 **MissTimeBureau:** Okay but you better not be wearing anything under that duvet.

 **Lancelot:** I’ll see what I can do about that ;)

 **notbarryallen:** I love you guys but that also was tmi

**Lancelot: 😘**

**AgentGeek:** So is anyone going to help me

 **notbarryallen:** I think it’s just you and me, man

 **animalgirl:** I’m also still here.

 **Trenchcoat:** So am I

 **AgentGeek:** Oh boy

 **AgentGeek:** John I’m sorry

 **Trenchcoat:** Are you hiding in the loo, love?

 **AgentGeek:** No?

 **AgentGeek:** Okay I am

 **Trenchcoat:** Come out and maybe I’ll forgive you for breaching top secret information

 **notbarryallen:** hey are you into some boss/subordinate kink or was that just me

 **Trenchcoat:** Wouldn’t you like to know

**AgentGeek: 😊**

**animalgirl:** What’s a kink?

 **notbarryallen:** ahhhhhh

 **notbarryallen:** that’s not something I want to explain right now

 **Trenchcoat:** It’s when people are into some weird sexual stuff

 **animalgirl:** Oh.

 **AgentGeek:** John definitely has a thing for my glasses

 **AgentGeek:** And D&D roleplay

 **AgentGeek:** And I shouldn’t have said that

 **Trenchcoat:** You’re right you shouldn’t have, love

 **notbarryallen:** we know anyway

 **AgentGeek:** I love you, John

 **AgentGeek:** Can I fix this

 **Trenchcoat:** Well, I think there’s only one way to fix this, don’t you think?

 **AgentGeek:** I think I know what you have in mind ;)

 **Trenchcoat:** You think correctly ;)

 **Trenchcoat:** And for the record, I love you too

 **AgentGeek:** ainknirfanjvbd

 **notbarryallen:** you did this on purpose didn’t you

 **notbarryallen:** you know no one but amaya and me are here

 **Trenchcoat:** Smart lad

 **notbarryallen:** why did everyone have to go and have sex

 **animalgirl:** If it’s any consolation, I didn’t.

 **notbarryallen:** yeah, thanks, amaya

 **grunt:** I’m not fucking anyone right now too

 **animalgirl:** You mean “either”.

 **grunt:** don’t correct my grammar Amaya

 **animalgirl:** But it was incorrect.

 **notbarryallen:** mood

 **ZariIsTheBest:** okay, I don’t know how you know what’s happened, but somehow you do, so I’m going to have to say this

 **ZariIsTheBest:** please, stay out of my personal business, thanks

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I don’t want to talk about it and I’d appreciate if you didn’t either

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I have to think about it myself and I’ll tell you when I’m ready but right now I’m not

 **notbarryallen:** yeah, I respect that

 **notbarryallen:** sorry I mentioned it, we were just excited

 **animalgirl:** Of course, Zari. I support you no matter what you do <3

 **grunt:** whatever

 **ZariIsTheBest:** thanks, guys

 **ZariIsTheBest:** and just fyi, I read the conversation and you’re all gross


	31. don't be nosy, john

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this is the last chapter i've got so far... but i have ideas, so don't worry ;)
> 
> enjoy!

**2018/09/03**

 

 **gayforray:** we’re not gross, we’re in love, just saying

 **gayforray:** anyway, is that heavy metal I hear from Zari’s room

 **notbarryallen:** she always listens to that when she’s working or gaming

 **rayofsunshine:** @MiniDarhk what do you think?

 **MiniDarhk:** I don’t know, I’m in the library

 **gayforray:** why are you in the library?

 **MiniDarhk:** why is that weird

 **gayforray:** you never… read?

 **MiniDarhk:** I’m working

 **notbarryallen:** with constantine?

 **notbarryallen:** I saw you two

 **MiniDarhk:** it’s magic related

 **rayofsunshine:** So does that mean you don’t hate each other anymore?

 **Trenchcoat:** We’ve come to some sort of a truce for now

 **gayforray:** btw, I read what you guys talked about yesterday… today morning… whatever ;)

 **Trenchcoat:** So everyone knows already, why should I bloody care

 **Lancelot:** You’re actually soft

 **Trenchcoat:** I’m not “soft” Lance

 **Trenchcoat:** I’m the master of the dark arts and everyone trembles before me

 **gayforray:** come on, Sara, we all know who’s the big softie here

 **Lancelot:** Do you want me to portal on the ship and let you know how soft I am, Nate?

 **gayforray:** okay, no, sorry, mom

 **Lancelot:** Right now I’m too tired to comment on that

 **notbarryallen:** we’ve agreed long ago that you’re the mom

 **gayforray:** yeah, and we’re the kids, and Mick’s the uncle

 **Lancelot:** If I remember it correctly, you and Ray were the dads and I was the eldest sister

 **rayofsunshine:** That does sound legitimate.

 **Trenchcoat:** Since we were explaining to Amaya what’s a kink, are you into the daddy kink, Raymond?

 **gayforray:** you did what now

 **rayofsunshine:** No, I’m not, I don’t know what you’re talking about.

 **Lancelot:** You did say the dads thing sounded legit

 **rayofsunshine:** Which was in no way connected to that.

 **gayforray:** aww he’s blushing

 **notbarryallen:** send a pic, I need to see that

 **gayforray:** [ _image attached_ : blushingdaddy.jpeg]

 **MiniDarhk:** he’s cute

 **notbarryallen:** the name 😂

 **gayforray:** I had to

 **Lancelot:** Kudos, Nate

 **rayofsunshine:** Why did you have to do that?

 **gayforray:** baby, they asked me to

 **gayforray:** John, are _you_ into daddy kink?

 **gayforray:** you’re clearly into a lot of things

 **Trenchcoat:** That’s true but not this one, mate

 **Lancelot:** But you did try it

 **Trenchcoat:** How do you know that

 **Lancelot:** You don’t know till you try

 **Trenchcoat:** There was this young lady who was way too into that once

 **AgentGeek:** Can we maybe not talk about this

 **notbarryallen:** you were the one who spilled his secrets, gary

 **AgentGeek:** Ah yeah, guilty as charged

 **Trenchcoat:** Morning to you too, love

 **AgentGeek:** Good morning <3 sorry I forgot I haven’t seen you at breakfast

 **gayforray:** he was here, you skipped breakfast, Gary

 **AgentGeek:** Time Bureau business?

 **MissTimeBureau:** Don’t know anything about that.

 **Lancelot:** Ava, hey!

 **Lancelot:** Were you hiding in the bathroom again, Gary?

 **AgentGeek:** I wasn’t hiding there, I went there to pee and when I came back John wasn’t there so I went home to get some… stuff

 **Trenchcoat:** Are you avoiding me now, love

 **AgentGeek:** I’m not avoiding you! I’m

 **AgentGeek:** I just went to get some stuff

 **Lancelot:** Sounds shady, Gary

 **gayforray:** yeah, almost sounds like you want to break up with him or something

 **AgentGeek:** I definitely don’t want to break up with John, he’s the coolest boyfriend I’ve ever had

 **AgentGeek:** I was just planning a surprise

 **AgentGeek:** You made me say that and you’re terrible

 **Trenchcoat:** A surprise, is it, Gary 👀

 **notbarryallen:** did you learn how to use emojis 👀

 **AgentGeek:** Shut up, you spoiled it now

 **Lancelot:** I hate to break it to you, but you fucked it up yourself

 **MiniDarhk:** you do realize he’s completely useless now and I have to do all the research by myself

 **gayforray:** Gary?

 **MiniDarhk:** no, the wizard

 **rayofsunshine:** You have Gideon.

 **MiniDarhk:** AI doesn’t like me

 **MissTimeBureau:** She probably has a reason for that.

 **rayofsunshine:** I can go and help you if you want.

 **MiniDarhk:** thanks, palmer

 **Trenchcoat:** I beg your pardon, I’m useful

 **Lancelot:** You’re flirting with Gary the entire time

 **AgentGeek:** No, he’s not, he’s so mad at me

 **Trenchcoat:** I was a little bit but not anymore, what have you got for me, love?

 **gayforray:** don’t be nosy, John

 **notbarryallen:** you were nosy first, buddy

 **gayforray:** come on, won’t you defend your best friend

 **notbarryallen:** my best friend is zari now

 **gayforray:** that hurts

 **Lancelot:** So have you found out what’s up with her

 **notbarryallen:** she talked with us normally at breakfast like nothing was going on and then went to her room

 **notbarryallen:** said she had some work to do

 **MiniDarhk:** the last time I saw her she was doing something with her tablet

 **Lancelot:** So maybe she’s really just working

 **gayforray:** I asked Gideon and she wouldn’t give me an answer

 **Lancelot:** Tell her it’s the captain’s orders

 **gayforray:** really, Sara, you’re full of surprises

 **Lancelot:** What, I like gossip as much as anyone else

 **notbarryallen:** gasp

 **gayforray:** she said Zari doesn’t wish to be disturbed

 **notbarryallen:** there’s still that music

 **grunt:** yeah, it’s really good

 **grunt:** girl’s got taste

 **gayforray:** you live next to her, maybe you know something 👀

 **grunt:** don’t care

 **Lancelot:** Right

 **notbarryallen:** honestly though, she asked us not to talk about any of this

 **gayforray:** you gave Ray and me shit for our behavior, this isn’t fair

 **gayforray:** Zari gave Ray and me shit

 **gayforray:** so what if we know she _finally_ made out with Nora, it’s been there since the beginning

 **MiniDarhk:** you nosy lot just won’t leave us alone

 **MiniDarhk:** Zari said she needs some time to think about it so you should give her that time and act normal just as we all did this morning, thanks

 **Lancelot:** Us nosy lot won’t leave anyone alone, you should know that by now

 **gayforray:** we’re the legends, you know us

 **notbarryallen:** the legends of gay *rainbow heart*

 **notbarryallen:** and we now know nora 100% likes girls and therefore 100% belongs here

 **MiniDarhk:** okay, yeah, she said the same thing yesterday

 **Lancelot:** Soooo are you bi or

 **gayforray:** Sara subtly trying to recruit more bi club members…

 **Lancelot:** I don’t know what you’re talking about

 **MiniDarhk:** identifying as queer is a thing, right

 **MiniDarhk:** because I don’t exactly know

 **grunt:** snart was that

 **MiniDarhk:** who’s snart?

 **rayofsunshine:** Mick’s ex-boyfriend/partner in crime and our former teammate. He sacrificed his life for us…

 **Lancelot:** He was a thief, a good one

 **rayofsunshine:** I think there was something between him and Sara too.

 **Lancelot:** That’s in past, Ray, you don’t have to bring it up

 **MissTimeBureau:** Wait, you and Leonard Snart? The criminal?

 **Lancelot:** This is exactly why I didn’t want to bring it up

 **Lancelot:** a) that was in the past and I love only you, Aves, b) he wasn’t that bad, like Ray said, he saved us all and time itself

 **MissTimeBureau:** When you say it like that, it does make me a little bit jealous.

 **rayofsunshine:** So it was true, it wasn’t just me?

 **Lancelot:** No, it wasn’t just you

 **rayofsunshine:** Great!

 **gayforray:** you have a strange idea of what’s great sometimes, Ray

 **MiniDarhk:** okay sorry I asked

 **Lancelot:** It’s not your fault

 **MiniDarhk:** you’re defending me, lance? what’s going on

 **Lancelot:** I honestly don’t know

 **notbarryallen:** so back to nora being queer, that’s great newsss

 **gayforray:** well, we all knew long ago

 **MiniDarhk:** I didn’t

 **MiniDarhk:** I hate you

 **Lancelot:** We all knew long ago

 **notbarryallen:** lol

 **notbarryallen:** and zari’s not here to tell me not to say that ;)

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you sure, buddy

 **gayforray:** hey, Zari, whatcha doing

 **ZariIsTheBest:** playing super mario, wanna join me?

 **notbarryallen:** did you say mario

 **notbarryallen:** hell yeah

 **ZariIsTheBest:** that’s not fair, you’ve got your super fingers

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I was actually asking Nate

 **gayforray:** sure, why not, but only if Ray’s playing with me

 **rayofsunshine:** It’s been a while since I’ve played video games, so I’ll join you!

 **ZariIsTheBest:** great

 **ZariIsTheBest:** and bring snacks, guys


	32. [interlude] game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't know what to think about this. but i tried, lol. enjoy!
> 
> i might post another chapter on sunday. and i also caught a cold because the weather has been wild lately. bollocks. i don't like that at all.

Nate put a bowl of nachos and hot sauce on the coffee table in front of the sofa Zari was currently sitting on, submerged in racing her own ghost on the large screen.

‘Hey, Zari!’ Ray waved at her awkwardly, startling her.

She pressed pause on the game and turned to him. Nate threw a bag of M&M’s at her. She snatched it with a quick move. ‘Hey, guys.’ She put the control down and reached for the nachos. ‘Thanks. Have a seat; the controls are here somewhere.’

If she really just wanted to play Mario Kart, then they would play. Nate wouldn’t force her into a conversation she didn’t want to have yet.

He took a seat next to her and scooped up enough hot sauce with a crisp to drop it on the floor. Ray gave him a disapproving look. He just rolled his eyes at him and ate another. Zari located one control, the other Ray found under a pillow.

‘It’s been so long, I forgot how to do this,’ he said.

‘You can’t forget how to play this video game, genius,’ said Zari. She quit her timed single-player mode and chose a different one for the three of them. ‘Ready?’

‘Hit me, baby,’ Nate said, and threw his body back on the sofa. He snuggled closer to Ray.

 

* * *

 

Zari didn’t even know how many hours they spent playing.

They’ve run out of snacks. Zari’s won all the games except two, which were Nate’s. Wally knocked on the door once to inquire about lunch, but she sent him away via Gideon. Ray was disappointed that he hasn’t managed to be first even once—he was the technical genius here!—and Nate made it up to him by bringing him a coffee just as he liked it and making out with him for five minutes.

Zari counted, and it was definitely too much for her eyes, thank you.

It also made her circle back to the previous night’s events, repeat it in her mind over and over, _think_ about it. That was the last thing she wanted to think about today. Hence the video games.

She played Mario Kart with Nora more than once. They laughed about her poor attempts. They sat close.

_Nora_.

Her mind wouldn’t shut up about her. Zari spiralled out of control and stopped paying attention to the game. Nate won again.

He cheered, and then raised an eyebrow at her. She sensed the conversation she’s been avoiding was coming.

She said, ‘I wasn’t paying much attention, sorry.’

‘What are you sorry for—I won the game!’ He turned to Ray and nodded at him slightly. Zari wasn’t supposed to notice, but she did. ‘But I can see… _something’s_ been bothering you, so if you wanna talk or something, we’re here for you.’

She put the control down. ‘I know what this is about, Nate. You’re trying to make me talk about it.’

‘I don’t know what you’re on about…’

She sent him a warning glare.

Ray spoke first. ‘Well, this is absolutely none of our business, but seeing as Nate and I wouldn’t take the first step without Sara’s speech, we thought you should know.’ He cleared his throat. Didn’t know whether he should be looking at Zari, Nate, or the empty nacho bowl. ‘You’re my friend, Z, and so is Nora, and even if the two of us,’ he gestured between Nate and himself, ‘were—’

‘Idiots,’ Nate offered, interrupting him, ‘doesn’t mean you have to be. I don’t know what’s your deal with, uh, feelings and romance and sex and all that stuff, you know—’

Ray nudged him. ‘She’s asexual, Nate.’

‘Yeah, right, sorry. I’m babbling. Anyway. There clearly is some chemistry between you and Nora, deny it all you want. I mean, there’s _fire_.’ He mimicked something resembling an explosion with his hands. ‘My point is, you should maybe tell her that before it’s too late.’

Zari processed what she heard. She glanced on their hands, resting millimetres close. ‘Suddenly you two are experts on relationships, huh?’

‘Well, not to brag, but—’

‘Definitely not, just look at our past.’

Nate and Ray shared a look. Zari thought it was funny. For the first time in a while, she didn’t think about herself and Nora and—she did now. And, well, the guys were right. But she’s never been in a relationship before, and to be honest, she was _scared_.

She did like Nora. She did.

Half a year ago, she would laugh at the idea of even being friends with Nora Darhk. Now, she didn’t know what to do with the fact she was beginning to see her as more than that.

‘I don’t exactly know _how_ to tell her any of it.’

Ray leant on the backrest to see Zari over Nate properly. ‘What did you say when you, you know, kissed?’

Zari didn’t want to answer.

‘She said she liked me,’ she said when Nate’s eyebrows and Ray’s expectations rose too high, leaving out the fact she was close to drunk. ‘I said I liked her too but that I’m not good with that stuff, which is true, and that I needed time to think about it. Which I did, even though I tried not to. Didn’t help.’

She was looking at her fingernails now. This was, by all means, a really embarrassing conversation for Zari. And, to be fair, if she wanted to talk to someone about this, she’d probably choose Gideon and her nonbiased algorithms and calculated advice.

‘All that’s great, Zari!’ said Nate, perhaps a little too excited. ‘So you know there are some real vibes, that’s good.’

‘It’s a start!’ Ray added.

She didn’t turn her attention away from her hands. ‘Yeah…’

‘Maybe tell her that, and if you really need time, take it, but not for too long, because she might lose interest.’ Nate gestured at her with his index finger and threw in a wink. ‘Don’t be scared of feelings, Z. Don’t be an idiot.’ He took Ray’s hand. ‘I love this guy and your teasing helped me realise that, so let me do the same for you, girl, yeah?’

She looked up. She saw a flush on Ray’s cheeks. ‘I’ll—I’ll think about what you said.’ She offered a tiny smile. ‘Now, do you wanna play one more round? I could do with another clean win.’

Ray grabbed his control. So did Nate. ‘Oh, you wish.’


	33. fuck your eyes emoji

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as promised, i delivered! enjoy!
> 
> my cold is gone, but i'm hungover because i went out with some friends and partied till 2 am, eyy. i feel like the legends after avalance's housewarming party... but it was worth it!

**2018/09/09**

 

 **Trenchcoat:** Did you know Gary can cook like a bloody devil

 **Lancelot:** Do you mean god

 **Lancelot:** And no, I _didn’t_ , what

 **Trenchcoat:** I don’t know, love, I’ve never had breakfast with god but I did with the devil

 **gayforray:** wow, seriously?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** wait, what

 **rayofsunshine:** Gary and cooking?

 **MissTimeBureau:** What is this about?

 **Trenchcoat:** His surprise

 **ZariIsTheBest:** yeah, he mentioned something like that a few days ago

 **AgentGeek:** You actually remember what I said?

 **notbarryallen:** we won’t if you don’t want us too

 **notbarryallen:** also hey, chef 👀

 **AgentGeek:** You’re making me blush, guys

 **AgentGeek:** I learned to cook from my grandma

 **Lancelot:** Hey John, what did he make

 **Trenchcoat:** He looked up some of my old English favourites and made me dinner

 **ZariIsTheBest:** that was it? the surprise? dinner?

 **gayforray:** no weird sex stuff?

 **Trenchcoat:** Oh, there was sex too, after dessert ;)

 **notbarryallen:** that’s more like it

 **MissTimeBureau:** Why.

 **Trenchcoat:** That’s what humans do when they’re mutually attracted to each other, pet

 **MissTimeBureau:** Very funny, Constantine.

 **MissTimeBureau:** But please refrain from any clone jokes, it makes me uncomfortable.

 **Trenchcoat:** That wasn’t my intention, I was referring to aliens ;)

 **Lancelot:** Still, she’s capable of killing you, and so am I

 **Trenchcoat:** Good thing I’m not on board then

 **gayforray:** wait, when did you leave

 **gayforray:** jumpship is still here

 **AgentGeek:** Don’t forget that I am a Time Bureau agent and therefore carry a time courier

 **Lancelot:** Dating a time bureau agent does have its perks, right Aves

 **Trenchcoat:** I second that

 **MissTimeBureau:** Are you dating me only for my time courier, Sara?

 **Lancelot:** So you’ve figured it out, babe

 **MissTimeBureau:** That hurts.

**Lancelot: 🙄**

**Trenchcoat:** Who knew she had a sense of humour

**MissTimeBureau: 🔪**

**MiniDarhk:** what did I miss, is someone going to fight

 **grunt:** who’s gonna fight

 **rayofsunshine:** No one is going to engage in any sort of fight.

 **grunt:** and I thought this day just got good

 **gayforray:** @MiniDarhk John was being his usual charming self and Gary can secretly cook

 **AgentGeek:** It’s not a secret

 **MiniDarhk:** the geeky agent? wow

 **notbarryallen:** so what about you, any news 👀

 **ZariIsTheBest:** there are so many emojis in the world and in the pack I coded but the one most used here is still the weird eyes

 **gayforray:** you use them too when it doesn’t concern you 😉👀

 **ZariIsTheBest:** how does any of this concern me

 **rayofsunshine:** It’s funny that whenever someone asks Nora something, everyone automatically assumes it’s connected to Zari.

 **notbarryallen:** that’s a mood

 **Lancelot:** Do tell, what’s going on

 **MiniDarhk:** nothing’s going on, I’m watching shows in my bed

 **gayforray:** with Zari

 **MiniDarhk:** no you perv

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I’m in a different room altogether

 **ZariIsTheBest:** practicing with my totem

 **notbarryallen:** are you still avoiding each other 👀

 **MiniDarhk:** fuck your eyes emoji

 **MiniDarhk:** we’re not avoiding each other, why would we?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** we just don’t spend much time together, why should that mean something

 **Lancelot:** You share a room

 **gayforray:** and you made out

 **rayofsunshine:** And you promised us to think and talk about it.

 **gayforray:** and from what I’m getting from all of this, you didn’t

 **ZariIsTheBest:** uh

 **MiniDarhk:** zari, _are_ you avoiding me

 **ZariIsTheBest:** no, I’m not, we talk at breakfast and all

 **MiniDarhk:** you are

 **ZariIsTheBest:** ok maybe I am

 **MiniDarhk:** is it because of what I said?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** no, it’s not you

 **ZariIsTheBest:** it’s just. like I said, I’m not used to any of this and it terrifies me

 **ZariIsTheBest:** because things are different in 2042

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you of all people should understand what it was like for me, a lesbian muslim meta, to live there

 **gayforray:** you’re technically not a meta when you’re a totem bearer

 **Lancelot:** They didn’t know that, Nate

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I didn’t know that, Nate

 **gayforray:** sorry

 **gayforray:** sometimes I can’t keep my mouth shut

 **gayforray:** or the equivalent for that… in texting

 **MiniDarhk:** I don’t know much about that, zari, but I do know what it’s like to live as a vessel for a time demon for 20 years, secluded from all people and like, nice things

 **ZariIsTheBest:** this isn’t one of those who-has-it-worse competitions, right

 **ZariIsTheBest:** cos if it were we’d both win

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I’m sorry, Nora

 **MiniDarhk:** thanks

 **MiniDarhk:** I’m sorry for what you had to live through too

 **gayforray:** I know that all sounds awful and I can sympathize, but damn, you’re actually a perfect match, how’s that even possible

 **gayforray:** I know, I’m quiet

 **notbarryallen:** you’re not wrong, pal

 **Lancelot:** You can be miserable together

 **ZariIsTheBest:** hey who said anything about being miserable

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I love my new life and this fucked-up family

 **MiniDarhk:** can’t believe I’m saying that but I kinda like you guys too, with all your nonsense and awful hangovers

 **rayofsunshine:** Thanks, that’s sweet!

 **notbarryallen:** you said that for the second time, I’m counting

 **MiniDarhk:** don’t get too full of yourselves ok

 **MiniDarhk:** I can still kill you all

 **grunt:** damn girl, I’d join you

 **Lancelot:** Oh come on, Mick

 **rayofsunshine:** You love us.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you sure? he doesn’t even remember most of our names

 **grunt:** who needs names, I can live without knowing them

 **notbarryallen:** also mood

 **grunt:** agree with the new kid

 **notbarryallen:** I’ve been here longer than john but ok

 **grunt:** whatever, new kid

 **Trenchcoat:** You think being called trenchcoat is much better, lad

 **notbarryallen:** you do wear one 24/7

 **Trenchcoat:** more like 20/7, I do need some sleep

 **Lancelot:** You can function with four hours of sleep?

 **Lancelot:** How

 **gayforray:** right, Sara the night owl

 **Lancelot:** I love sleep despite all I’ve been through, sue me

 **rayofsunshine:** Staying up for three days doing research and relying solely on caffeine isn’t exactly an example of a healthy lifestyle, baby.

 **gayforray:** when’s the last time I did that

 **ZariIsTheBest:** on our last case

 **rayofsunshine:** Which was three days ago.

 **gayforray:** fair point

 **gayforray:** but I don’t see anyone else here having a degree in history and doing it instead of me

 **AgentGeek:** I have a degree in history

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Gary?

 **notbarryallen:** man, you’re full of surprises

 **AgentGeek:** All Time Bureau agents have a degree in history

 **ZariIsTheBest:** makes sense

 **MissTimeBureau:** It’s true.

 **gayforray:** you volunteering to do my research then?

 **AgentGeek:** Uh… no

 **AgentGeek:** I have my own things to do, you know

 **gayforray:** then why say that

 **AgentGeek:** You asked

 **AgentGeek:** Unless that would mean I’m a legend?

 **Lancelot:** You’re already sleeping here every other night and help us with cases, I think it’s safe to say that you _are_ an intern legend

 **AgentGeek:** I am?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Sara, are you sure? you insisted he wasn’t

 **Lancelot:** You’re dating a legend, you are one

 **gayforray:** did someone say that?

 **Lancelot:** I did, just now

 **MissTimeBureau:** So you think I’m a legend too?

 **Lancelot:** Yeah, Aves

 **MissTimeBureau:** I don’t know if I should be honoured or offended.

 **AgentGeek:** The first, definitely the first, boss

 **Lancelot:** For the first time in my life, I agree with Gary

 **AgentGeek:** Yay

 **Lancelot:** Don’t get overexcited

 **AgentGeek:** That’s impossible right now, captain, I’m officially a legend! That’s always been my dream

 **Trenchcoat:** I’d happily switch places with you, love

 **gayforray:** listen up, buddy. I think we’ve agreed that you like it here, despite you insisting you don’t

 **Lancelot:** Yeah, we gave you something meaningful to do with your miserable life, you should be thankful

 **Trenchcoat:** I was more than happy with my miserable life and old cases, thanks

 **ZariIsTheBest:** if you say so

 **gayforray:** but you’re not unhappy now, are you?

 **gayforray:** you’ve got a bed here, you can travel through time, we don’t make you wear costumes, and you’ve got a guy you seem to love

 **Trenchcoat:** I suppose you’re right, Heywood

 **gayforray:** hah!

 **gayforray:** so will you help me with research or not, Legend Gary

 **AgentGeek:** I think you’re better at this job than I am

 **ZariIsTheBest:** on that, we can agree

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I can help you if you want

 **rayofsunshine:** So can I!

 **gayforray:** and now you’re all selfless

 **ZariIsTheBest:** we’re not all bad

 **notbarryallen:** yeah, you are

 **notbarryallen:** zari wants to avoid nora and ray wants to be close to his bf, that’s all

 **ZariIsTheBest:** not cool, man

 **rayofsunshine:** Busted…

 **gayforray:** there’s not a case right now

 **gayforray:** but when there is, you’re helping me, wally

 **notbarryallen:** no, why

 **gayforray:** you’re my best friend, and you’re a speedster

 **gayforray:** don’t try arguing with me

 **gayforray:** but Ray can help too ;)

 **rayofsunshine:** Now that I’m thinking about it, I’ve changed my mind.

 **MiniDarhk:** zari

 **ZariIsTheBest:** yeah

 **MiniDarhk:** you, me, kitchen, now

 **MiniDarhk:** you’re not avoiding me anymore

 **ZariIsTheBest:** …okay

 **gayforray:** DEVELOPMENT

 **Lancelot:** It’s been about time


	34. z and nora

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again, i'm sorry for the late update. i've kinda had a block and did other things. 
> 
> now. legends of tomorrow really are legends of tomorrow cos the legends start again tomorrow (on tuesday for me, cos... time zones), woooo!!! after seeing the new trailer, i realised i'm looking forward to it even more than i was to doctor who, and that's quite something, cos dw is my favourite series of all time... 
> 
> speaking of, today is the rosa parks episode. sounds like something out of legends :D i'm excited about that one! and about some other things that happened in this chapter ;) enjoy!

**2018/09/16**

 

 **gayforray:** okay, I’m sick of this silence, will someone tell me what happened

 **rayofsunshine:** What do you mean? Did I do something?

 **gayforray:** no, not you

 **gayforray:** Z and Nora

 **notbarryallen:** something definitely happened between them

 **animalgirl:** What happened?

 **Lancelot:** That’s what we’re trying to find out

 **gayforray:** it’s been a week

 **Lancelot:** Do you think…?

 **rayofsunshine:** They haven’t been acting in an unusual manner at breakfast or during missions, as far as I can tell.

 **notbarryallen:** exactly

 **notbarryallen:** but no one’s talking about it

 **MiniDarhk:** you should rename the chat to legends of gossip

 **gayforray:** who’s said anything about you, no, not me,

 **Lancelot:** That’s actually fitting

 **notbarryallen:** so 👀

 **MiniDarhk:** we still share a room

 **notbarryallen:** so

 **MiniDarhk:** everything’s great, get out of our hair

 **Lancelot:** So is it we now 👀

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I will erase the eyes emoji from existence

 **gayforray:** can’t delete it from all our keyboards

 **ZariIsTheBest:** watch me

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Wally, use your speed and grab the phones

 **notbarryallen:** no can’t do

 **ZariIsTheBest:** traitor

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you can’t use my games console anymore

 **gayforray:** it’s not like you let him use it anyway

 **notbarryallen:** thanks for backing me up, man

 **gayforray:** likewise

 **ZariIsTheBest:** whatever

 **ZariIsTheBest:** since you won’t stop going on about it, I might as well tell you

**gayforray: 😏**

**MiniDarhk:** not with that attitude, heywood

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Nora and I are in some sort of a… trial relationship

 **ZariIsTheBest** **:** it changes nothing on this ship and you won’t talk about it anymore, got it?

 **gayforray:** quiet as a mouse

 **grunt** **:** mouses aren’t quiet, pretty

 **rayofsunshine:** *mice

 **gayforray:** it’s an expression

 **gayforray:** but shh, that was my point

 **notbarryallen:** trial relationship… like sheldon and amy

 **Lancelot:** You watch that show?

 **gayforray:** please don’t remind me of tbbt

 **rayofsunshine:** But it’s not so bad, it’s about scientists! And it’s funny!

 **Lancelot:** Do _you_ watch that show, Ray?

 **rayofsunshine:** Yes.

 **gayforray:** _no_

 **gayforray:** every sitcom is better than tbbt, baby

 **ZariIsTheBest:** let’s face it, Ray is a doctor of who-knows-what and has OCD and is bad at reading people sometimes

 **ZariIsTheBest:** who does that remind you of

 **Lancelot:** Damn, girl, you’re right

 **Lancelot:** Congrats, btw ;)

 **rayofsunshine:** I don’t know what you’re talking about, captain.

 **gayforray:** apparently she’s comparing you to Sheldon

 **gayforray:** one, not true, two, _every sitcom is better than tbbt_

 **notbarryallen:** hamill himself said it

 **notbarryallen:** and he was in it

 **notbarryallen:** b99 forever

 **gayforray:** and the good place

 **ZariIsTheBest:** one day at a time

 **Lancelot:** Parks and Rec

 **gayforray:** the office us

 **Trenchcoat:** The office UK

 **AgentGeek:** FRIENDS

 **grunt:** the simpsons

 **gayforray:** Mick, you watch the Simpsons 👀

 **grunt:** none of your business

 **MiniDarhk:** from what I’ve seen here, you all secretly watch tbbt

 **notbarryallen:** exCuSe mE

 **ZariIsTheBest:** do you?

 **MiniDarhk:** I love sitcoms…?

 **gayforray:** ha! you do!

 **rayofsunshine:** What can I say, it’s a guilty pleasure show.

 **rayofsunshine:** And you cried at Sheldon and Amy’s wedding, Nate!

 **gayforray:** didn’t… I don’t watch that crap… I didn’t even know you watched it…

 **Lancelot:** Can’t hide it from us, Nate

 **gayforray:** okay fine I watched a few episodes with Ray but that doesn’t mean I like it

 **gayforray:** literally every show is better than tbbt and that’s a fact

 **notbarryallen:** ok I believe you

 **ZariIsTheBest:** it’s true

 **rayofsunshine:** How do you know it?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** my brother, Behrad, he loved it as a kid and we watched together, old reruns…

 **MiniDarhk:** I’m sorry about that

 **ZariIsTheBest:** thanks but you can’t do anything about it anyway

 **gayforray:** anyhow, who’s excited for the new doctor who?

 **notbarryallen:** everyone, nate

 **rayofsunshine:** It’s in three weeks!

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you’re gonna love it

 **MiniDarhk:** her tardis

 **ZariIsTheBest:** and those rainbow t-shirts

 **MiniDarhk:** actual diversity

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Graham being tired of everyone’s shit

 **ZariIsTheBest:** reminds me of myself, tbh

 **MiniDarhk:** I still remember that one quote from episode 2

 **MiniDarhk:** you know the one

 **ZariIsTheBest:**???

 **MiniDarhk:** come to daddy

 **ZariIsTheBest: 😂**  that one

 **gayforray:** NO SPOILERS, PLEASE

 **gayforray:** I get that you’re from the future and have seen it multiple times but please don’t rub it in our faces, thanks

 **notbarryallen:** do we really have to wait @Lancelot

 **Lancelot:** Yes, we do, watching future TV might be dangerous, as I’ve told you numerous times before

 **Lancelot:** But don’t get me wrong, I’m so excited for 13

 **notbarryallen:** that’s just gay culture

 **ZariIsTheBest:** yeah

 **rayofsunshine:** Maybe we’ll get stuck on a mission for a month and come back when it’s already on.

 **Trenchcoat:** Don’t jinx it, mate, you know it might happen with you idiots

 **Lancelot:** We’re not idiots

 **Lancelot:** But it’s true

 **rayofsunshine:** Sorry.

 **grunt:** agree with trenchcoat, you’re all idiots

 **gayforray:** well thanks, Mick

 **grunt:** you’re welcome

 **gayforray:** I was being sarcastic

 **rayofsunshine:** Speaking of Doctor Who, do you want to continue in our rewatch? We’re almost at the end!

 **gayforray:** always a good idea

 **gayforray:** you can have the bed this time @ZariIsTheBest @MiniDarhk ;)

 **MiniDarhk:** wow, why the solidarity

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I told you not to talk about it, Nate

 **MiniDarhk:** …right

 **MiniDarhk:** we’ll still take you up on that offer

 **ZariIsTheBest:** agreed

 **MiniDarhk:** you can squeeze in though

 **Lancelot:** And we’ll be on the floor again, great

 **Trenchcoat:** I’m not complaining

 **Lancelot:** Yeah, cause you and Gary love making Ava’s life a living hell

 **rayofsunshine:** Where is Ava, anyway?

 **Lancelot:** Working

 **gayforray:** for three days?

 **Lancelot:** I miss her

 **Trenchcoat:** I don’t

 **Lancelot:** Shut up, John

 **Lancelot:** Okay, I’m coming to your room now, be decent ;)

 **gayforray:** that was _once_

 **gayforray:** it was Ray’s fault

 **gayforray:** stop reminding me

 **notbarryallen:** ray’s fault, huh 👀😏

 **gayforray:** he’s too beautiful when he’s excited about something

 **gayforray:** just shut up and come here

 **ZariIsTheBest:** on my way

 **MiniDarhk:** you’re not gonna do anything in the meantime right

 **rayofsunshine:** I’ll stop him if he tries.

 **Trenchcoat:** I wouldn’t mind

 **Lancelot:** For god’s sake, John

 **notbarryallen:** I’m taking my spot at the table

 **gayforray:** we can see, you just ran in here and raised all the blueprints on the desk into the air

 **notbarryallen:** sorry

 **notbarryallen:** and they don’t

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you always sit on the chair, the four of us are on the bed, Sara and co. are under it and Mick doesn’t care. we all know how this goes

 **rayofsunshine:** Who’s ready for Heaven Sent?

 **notbarryallen:** this episode is so cool

 **gayforray:** wait, is that an emergency alarm? why is there an emergency alarm? why now?

 **rayofsunshine:** No, I really wanted to watch Doctor Who!

 **Lancelot:** Alright everyone, I have bad news. Looks like time pirates

 **Lancelot:** Gideon confirmed it, it’s time pirates. Come to the bridge, we have to shake them off

 **grunt:** I thought I’d never see those fuckers again

 **grunt:** why

 **gayforray:** yeah

 **gayforray:** why now

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Ray, you totally jinxed it

 **rayofsunshine:** I said I was sorry!

 **MiniDarhk:** doesn’t do us much good

 **MiniDarhk:** I’m gonna strangle you if we really get stuck in a different time period because of your stupid doctor who

 **rayofsunshine:** Doctor Who isn’t stupid! You love it!

 **MiniDarhk:** I do, but does it really make a difference?

 **rayofsunshine:** No?

 **MiniDarhk:** there you go


	35. [interlude] crash

‘Hold on tight!’ Sara screamed over the sound of blasters hitting the Waverider’s shields and rattling of the ship’s interior. There was a burst of sparks somewhere above her head every now and then. ‘The time pirates have knocked us out of the temporal zone!’

Nate clutched at a seat he didn’t have time to get into. ‘Oof, that’s bad.’ He looked as though trying not to vomit.

‘Ray…’

‘Zari, I told you I was sorry! I couldn’t have known it was actually going to happen! And besides, the Time Bureau is going to save us, Gary’s got his time courier, right, Gary?’

‘Uh, actually,’ the agent, glasses and tie askew, looked round apologetically (while also being absolutely terrified). ‘I think I left it in John’s apartment.’

John rolled his eyes. ‘Oh, bollocks.’

Gary was screaming. Everyone else was screaming at him.

The Waverider spun frantically, sliding through time and space and inevitably crashing. Sara had no power over the controls.

‘ _Captain, I’m afraid the fire has damaged the time drive and my matrix. These are some very smart time pirates. I’m about to shut—’_

‘Down. Great, we’ve lost Gideon,’ she shouted in frustration. She let go of the controls and held on for her life. The harness was going to leave bruises.

Mick shot a heated look at Ray. ‘You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me!’

His ATOM suit clinked at he jumped up and down in his seat. ‘How many times do I have to say it wasn’t my fault?’

‘Prepare for a rough landing, guys!’

This happened way too often to be comfortable with.

There was a huge blow that travelled all the way to their bones.

And then there was silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol i'm sorry


	36. so where are they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so. 04x01 was one hell of a ride indeed. let me just point out a few highlights i might mention in the fic at some point. mick drinking slushie instead of whatever alcohol they had? and stealing the dwarf? amazing. mick as a whole was a mood. and omg we got so many cute avalance moments i'm........ i was tearing up practically the entire episode. but most importantly, _john and gary actually (almost) shagged, it's fucking canon!!!_ legends writers never disappoint. 
> 
> on that note, it's now canon in arrow that william queen likes blokes... now didn't i see that coming when i put a rainbow flower crown on his head in this fic... honestly *dabs*
> 
> as for this fic, the timeline might be a bit confusing. it is for me sometimes XD cos it takes part during season 4, which just began, but it's already further along the story. this is after 04x01, but charlie and alaska aren't here yet, and wally still is... i'll add the two once they actually appear on the show. and like i said at the beginning, let's pretend he joins the team again after going away for a bit. that, and the relationships, are the only things about this fic that deviates from canon. i knew they'd go with darhkatom in the show, but here they're only good friends, and ray's with nate. it'll stay that way. for those purposes, i'll adjust the canon stories a bit and write this fic round them, like gap fillers. cos there's always a week of not knowing what the legends are up to, right? XD and i expect to finish the fic with the season finale. which is a long way away... meaning a lot more chapters to go!
> 
> thank you for reading and commenting and all the kudos. i don't say that enough, but i love you all and i'm so glad you're enjoying this piece of nonsense i started writing on a whim. i haven't given up only thanks to you guys ♥
> 
>  **TL;DR** this is just a short chapter, but enjoy! there's another guest star ;)

**2018/09/16**

 

 **MissTimeBureau:** Guys, I can’t reach you through the comms. Are you here?

 **MissTimeBureau:** I have no connection to the Waverider or Gideon whatsoever.

 **MissTimeBureau:** Sara?

 **MissTimeBureau:** Sara, I love you, please answer.

 **animalgirl:** They aren’t here, Ava. I think they went back in time.

 **animalgirl:** Or forward, who knows.

 **MissTimeBureau:** This is bad.

 **AgentGeek:** I can’t find them anywhere, boss

 **MissTimeBureau:** Just keep looking for any unusual activity, will you?

 **AgentGeek:** I’ve tried spells John taught me but it didn’t work

 **animalgirl:** Are you sure Constantine is a reliable source of information, Gary?

 **AgentGeek:** Yes?

 **MissTimeBureau:** Well, you _are_ sleeping together so maybe you’re a little biased.

 **AgentGeek:** Excuse me, we’re in a semi-functional relationship

 **animalgirl:** Semi-functional?

 **AgentGeek:** Uh

 **AgentGeek:** Complicated

 **MiniStein:** Oh my god, what happened with the legends? Can I help you in any way?

 **MissTimeBureau:** There’s no need, Miss Stein, the Time Bureau are working on it.

 **MiniStein:** But you could always use an extra pair of hands, right? Or maybe six pairs?

 **MiniStein:** I can tell Cisco and co. to search for any aberrations in history.

 **MissTimeBureau:** This has happened before, I’m sure we can find them.

 **AgentGeek:** Don’t be stupid, boss, we need all the help we can get

 **animalgirl:** I wish I could do something…

 **MissTimeBureau:** Gary, are you saying we are incompetent to find a ship somewhere in time?

 **AgentGeek:** No, no, I’m not

 **MissTimeBureau:** And I appreciate the offer, Miss Jiwe.

 **MissTimeBureau:** They didn’t happen to land in 1942, did they?

 **animalgirl:** Not that I know of.

 **MiniStein:** I called team Star Labs and briefed them on the situation anyway.

 **MissTimeBureau:** You did?

 **MissTimeBureau:** Thank you.

 **MiniStein:** No problem! They’re my friends too, you know.

 **animalgirl:** Wouldn’t this be easier if one of them could talk to us?

 **MiniStein:** That’s true.

 

 **MiniStein** _added_ **goodvibes** _to_ **Legends of Gay™**

 

 **AgentGeek:** How did you do that?

 **MiniStein:** I’m a scientist, I know my way around a mobile application.

 **goodvibes** **:** hello, I hear you’ve lost the waverider

 **goodvibes** **:** we’re on it 👍🏽

 **goodvibes** **:** woah you have a custom set of emojis how did you do that

 **animalgirl:** Zari coded them.

 **goodvibes: 👌🏽**  *trans flag emoji*

 **goodvibes:** you’re amaya, right?

 **animalgirl:** Yes, that’s me.

 **goodvibes:** cool

 **MissTimeBureau:** We’ve used every possible algorithm we could think of and we couldn’t find the Legends anywhere. Do you have any ideas?

 **goodvibes:** normally I’d use our satellite, which unfortunately devoe destroyed, but they don’t call me vibe for no reason

 **goodvibes:** do you have anything that belongs to one of the team?

 **AgentGeek:** My apartment’s full of John’s clothes and bones

 **animalgirl:** _Bones_?

 **AgentGeek:** For spells

 **MissTimeBureau:** Sara and I live together

 **goodvibes:** yeah let’s just go with that

 **goodvibes:** iris looked you up, I’ll be there in a sec

 **goodvibes:** found em

 **MissTimeBureau:** That’s great!

 **MissTimeBureau:** Wait, were you just in my apartment?

 **MissTimeBureau:** And how did you know what object to vibe?

 **goodvibes:** might’ve accidentally vibed something I’d rather unsee

 **AgentGeek:** Did you 👀

 **MissTimeBureau:** Don’t.

 **MiniStein:** See? I knew I could help.

 **animalgirl:** So where are they?

 **goodvibes:** elizabethan era

 **goodvibes:** locked up in a dungeon in the tower of london?

 **MissTimeBureau:** Is that a question or an answer?

 **goodvibes:** answer

 **goodvibes:** 90% sure

 **goodvibes:** I’m also 90% sure they’re gonna be executed

 **MissTimeBureau:** Gary, get a team ready to pick the Legends up.

 **AgentGeek:** On it

 **goodvibes:** sorry my powers have been a bit off since I channelled gipsy’s powers and then we broke up and ralph’s been trying to make me get over her but I can’t and I still feel her everywhere, every time I try to vibe

 **animalgirl:** I’m sorry to hear that, Cisco.

 **goodvibes:** yeah, well, nothing’s helped so I’m glad I can help you

 **MissTimeBureau:** Is there anything we can do?

 **goodvibes:** unless you figure out a way to make sure barry never disappears in 2024

 **MissTimeBureau:** Sorry, Mr. Ramon, but we can’t directly interfere with the future. It’s very fragile and could fall apart, which is something I’m sure you know.

 **goodvibes:** yeah didn’t think so

 **goodvibes:** guess we have to figure it out ourselves, good thing we have nora

 **MissTimeBureau:** Nora Darhk?

 **goodvibes:** no, nora west-allen, from the future, it’s complicated, don’t ask

 **MissTimeBureau:** For the sake of time itself, I won’t.

 **AgentGeek:** We’re good to go, boss

 **AgentGeek:** Found them in 1572

 **MissTimeBureau:** Good, I’m on my way.

 **MissTimeBureau:** Thank you again for your help, Mr. Ramon.

 **goodvibes:** come on, y’all can call me cisco

 **goodvibes:** and anytime 😉

 **goodvibes:** also do you think I can stay in this chat

 **animalgirl:** That’s up to the Legends to decide.

 **goodvibes:** nah it’s fine, I’d love to, I mean, you guys have your own tardis n all that, but I shouldn’t

 **goodvibes:** or should I

 **goodvibes:** no I shouldn’t

 **goodvibes:** adios

 

 **goodvibes** _left_ **Legends of Gay™**

 

 


	37. batman's name is bruce???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dunno how i could go on for so long and never mention batman. so here we go ;) enjoy!

**2018/10/19**

 

 **ZariIsTheBest:** good news everyone, I fixed Gideon, now we can get the hell out of medieval England

 **AgentGeek:** We could’ve gotten you back home through a portal

 **Lancelot:** And how would you get the Waverider back, genius?

 **AgentGeek:** Oh, right, didn’t think of that

 **notbarryallen:** CISCO WAS HERE WHEN WE WERENT THATS INJUSTICE

 **gayforray:** yeah

 **Lancelot:** Be thankful he saved our asses

 **Lancelot:** Also, how did I deserve someone like you in my miserable life, I just don’t know @MissTimeBureau

 **Lancelot:** I love you too <3

 **MissTimeBureau:** No, Sara, I’m the one who doesn’t deserve _you_. You’re so smart and gorgeous and brilliant and you fight for what you love. I’m just a clone from the future.

 **Lancelot:** Enough with that already, yeah? You’re the director of the Time Bureau and you’re our family. We all love you

 **MiniDarhk:** do we

 **ZariIsTheBest:** shut up

 **Lancelot:** Most of all yours truly ;)

 **MissTimeBureau:** <3

 **notbarryallen:** zari and nora are a mood

 **notbarryallen:** but I’m still salty I didn’t get to talk to cisco on here

 **rayofsunshine:** I can always add him again.

 **notbarryallen:** nah it’s good, I’m sure he’s busy with nora

 **MiniDarhk:** what

 **notbarryallen:** not you

 **notbarryallen:** barry’s daughter nora from the future

 **MiniDarhk:** did barry allen name a daughter after me

 **gayforray:** after his mom

 **MiniDarhk:** so she’s also nora huh

 **notbarryallen:** shame it’s not martha ;)

 **ZariIsTheBest:** what, why?

 **gayforray:** Superman and Batman’s moms? both named Martha?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** how do you even know that

 **notbarryallen:** cisco

 **gayforray:** he’s a fan

 **Lancelot:** Wait, do Bruce and Superman know each other?

 **gayforray:** not on this Earth, they don’t

 **rayofsunshine:** It would be funny if they knew.

 **AgentGeek:** Batman’s name is Bruce???

 **Trenchcoat:** You know him too, Sara?

 **notbarryallen:** of course sara knows batman and his identity…

 **Lancelot:** You jealous?

 **Lancelot:** I know him through Oliver

 **Trenchcoat:** Billionaires stick together, eh

 **Lancelot:** And also through Ra’s al Ghul

 **AgentGeek:** Batman was in the League of Assassins?

 **Lancelot:** That’s how he learned how to fight

 **Lancelot:** I thought everyone knew this

 **gayforray:** so what’s his identity

 **MiniDarhk:** his name’s bruce and he’s a billionaire, you have one guess

 **notbarryallen:** bruce wayne? no way

 **gayforray:** omg, really?

 **Lancelot:** Shh I shouldn’t say this

 **Lancelot:** But yeah

 **rayofsunshine:** So I’m not the only billionaire superhero with cool gadgets, that’s great!

 **grunt:** cool gadgets? you just have your suit, haircut

 **grunt:** batman has a fucking cool wheels

 **rayofsunshine:** Thanks for the booster, Mick.

 **AgentGeek:** Wait, rewind, how do _you_ know him, John?

 **Trenchcoat:** Did a few stints in Gotham, big guy’s kind of hard not to run into

 **Lancelot:** Bet you didn’t shag him though ;)

 **MissTimeBureau:** Sara?

 **Lancelot:** I was in college, Aves, that’s like 100 years ago

 **gayforray:** you went to college with Batman???

 **Lancelot:** No, it was at a fundraiser I went to with Dad and Laurel and Oliver

 **Lancelot:** I’m pretty sure he didn’t go to college at all

 **Trenchcoat:** Well, you’d be surprised, love

 **MissTimeBureau:** Really?

 **grunt:** cool

 **AgentGeek:** John 👀

 **notbarryallen:** I see a lot of jealousy here

 **gayforray:** yeah, I’m jealous they both got to sleep with _Batman_

 **rayofsunshine:** Well, he’s a known playboy, it’s not such a surprise.

 **gayforray:** it is from Sara and John’s side

 **gayforray:** it just hit me

 **gayforray:** Batman’s bisexual, guys

 **rayofsunshine:** That’s obvious when he slept with John.

 **gayforray:** let me have my moment

 **notbarryallen:** #gaysuperheroesrule2k18

 **AgentGeek:** We should take him to Pride next year

 **Trenchcoat:** And his wife

 **Lancelot:** Oh yeah, she’s _hot_

**gayforray: 👀**

**Lancelot:** Seline Kyle, also known as Catwoman

 **Trenchcoat:** Count Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn in, will you, and Riddler with Penguin while you’re at it and also Oracle

 **gayforray:** is everyone in Gotham gay

 **Lancelot:** As far as I know, yeah

 **rayofsunshine:** The odds are very low, and yet…

 **ZariIsTheBest:** what are the odds of every single person on this ship being gay, and yet

 **notbarryallen:** preach

 **notbarryallen:** so how’s it going with you and nora

 **notbarryallen:** saw you two together in the dungeon the other day

 **gayforray:** [ _image attached_ : nora&zari.jpeg]

**MiniDarhk: 🖕**

**Lancelot:** You guys are cute

**MiniDarhk: 🔥**

**Trenchcoat:** Hot too

 **grunt:** agree

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you’re gross

 **ZariIsTheBest:** not you, Nora

 **MiniDarhk:** not right now, you mean

 **ZariIsTheBest:** true 😜

 **animalgirl:** What’s going on?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** inside jokes

 **gayforray:** you have inside jokes, nice

 **gayforray:** just like Ray and I have an avocado

 **MiniDarhk:**?

 **gayforray:** i n s i d e  j o k e s

 **rayofsunshine:** Please, don’t start about avocados again.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** what’s that about

 **animalgirl:** Why didn’t we have inside jokes, Nathaniel?

 **gayforray:** we didn’t?

 **gayforray:** donuts? no?

 **rayofsunshine:** It’s about me putting butter in my coffee.

 **Trenchcoat:** I still think that’s not right

 **Lancelot:** We all do

 **gayforray:** that’s why I suggested avocadoes

 **rayofsunshine:** We argued about it for half an hour. It was actually hilarious.

 **MiniDarhk:** didn’t know you could argue with someone at all, palmer

 **animalgirl:** He can’t.

 **animalgirl:** And the donuts thing wasn’t funny at all.

 **animalgirl:** Though I did remember one thing.

 **gayforray:** it’s pine dream, isn’t it. that was our inside joke

 **animalgirl:** Indeed 🌲

 **Lancelot:** Ava and I have like 20 but never mind

 **MissTimeBureau:** How can you hate raisins.

 **Lancelot:** They’re lifeless grapes, Aves

 **ZariIsTheBest:** what, you don’t like raisins?

 **Lancelot:** And you do?

 **Lancelot:** Why

 **grunt:** why are you talking about raisins

 **rayofsunshine:** I think it’s one of Ava and Sara’s inside jokes.

 **grunt:** I thought there would be cake

 **notbarryallen:** I could have some of that

 **MiniDarhk:** do you two really have to eat _all the time_

 **notbarryallen:** I do, speedster metabolism

 **notbarryallen:** mick’s mick

 **Lancelot:** So you’re all raisin supporters

 **Trenchcoat:** I don’t care for them

 **Lancelot:** Thanks

 **notbarryallen:** I love sugary raisins

 **gayforray:** I make Gideon put them in my oatmeal

 **gayforray:** new topic

 **gayforray:** I walked into the kitchen and saw Mick and Wally fabricating pie and red slushie

 **ZariIsTheBest:** he’s really into that now, right

 **animalgirl:** He’s always been into slushies.

 **gayforray:** how do you know that? I didn’t know that

 **animalgirl:** We’re friends.

 **MissTimeBureau:** Uh, don’t remind me of the free bar at the party we threw for you.

 **gayforray:** he’s putting vodka in it now

 **gayforray:** [ _video attached_ : vodkaslushie.mp4]

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Wally in the background 😂

 **notbarryallen:** always be ready in case you’re being filmed

**rayofsunshine: 👍**

**rayofsunshine:** So I know this was what caused this muddle in the first place, but since we skipped a month, can we go watch the first three episodes of season 11 of Doctor Who?

 **gayforray:** hell yes

 **ZariIsTheBest:** always

 **MiniDarhk:** but you still can’t apologize enough even if you leave us the bed

 **rayofsunshine:** That’s fair.

 **rayofsunshine:** But I did say I was sorry at least ten times, I was counting.

 **Lancelot:** Yeah, in the Tower of London dungeon

 **Lancelot:** In 1572

 **gayforray:** you do realize what that was, right

 **gayforray:** we were in an episode of doctor who

 **notbarryallen:** _the day of the doctor_

 **ZariIsTheBest:** if only the door wasn’t actually locked

 **ZariIsTheBest:** okay, we’re watching in our room

 **MiniDarhk:** there’s popcorn and beer

 **grunt:** great I’ll bring my slush

 **notbarryallen:** and pie

 **grunt:** and pie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the raisin part is in honour of [@hogwartsonline](http://hogwartsonline.tumblr.com/), a public hp discord gc. it's something like our own inside joke. we have pro-raisin and anti-raisin roles, i'm not kidding. 
> 
> join it if you have tumblr and like hp! there are always round 100 people...


	38. i'll never say no to pizza

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was offline and sick at the weekend (i'm still sick but it's autumn break so at least i won't miss any classes) so i couldn't do much else than lie in bed and write. and write i did – in three days, i wrote seven chapter of this fic! seven! i'll be updating them for the whole week. 
> 
> ~~who else is excited for today's episode?~~ stupid question. everyone. 
> 
> in the meantime, enjoy this chapter!

**2018/10/20**

 

 **ZariIsTheBest:** holy beebo

 **notbarryallen:** what happened

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you don’t want to know

 **notbarryallen:** I do now

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Nora and I walked into the kitchen to get a snack and saw Nate and Ray going at it on the table

 **ZariIsTheBest:** it’s on my list of things I want to unsee

 **notbarryallen:** lol what did you do

 **MiniDarhk:** I’d watch but zari wanted to go away

**Lancelot: 👀**

**Trenchcoat:** I like your attitude

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I love you guys and I love them but did I ever say, you’re gross

 **Trenchcoat:** On multiple occasions, actually

 **MiniDarhk:** sorry but you can’t expect us all to be ace and never watch porn

 **Lancelot:** Porn is one thing, but they’re our friends

 **notbarryallen:** family

 **MiniDarhk:** come on, let a girl live

 **MiniDarhk:** a few months ago you were so eager to get them together, remember

 **notbarryallen:** well they are the cutest couple, no doubt

 **Lancelot:** Excuse me?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you and Ava are cute too

 **notbarryallen:** like your collection of fluffy slippers

 **Trenchcoat:** So I’m not the only one who thinks they’re ridiculous

 **MissTimeBureau:** They are ridiculous, babe, but I love them.

 **notbarryallen:** it’s like colorful cat hair

 **Lancelot:** You trying to make me mad on purpose, kid

 **ZariIsTheBest:** please don’t start the cat people v dog people debate again

 **MiniDarhk:** so how long are they gonna be there

 **MiniDarhk:** cause I’m really hungry

 **notbarryallen:** so am I

 **grunt:** me too

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you’re always hungry, we know

 **grunt:** I love food

 **Lancelot:** And beer

 **Trenchcoat:** I can make myself invisible and go there, I don’t mind ;)

 **notbarryallen:** john, no

 **MiniDarhk:** you can really make yourself invisible?

 **Trenchcoat:** Can’t you, since you’re such a great witch?

 **MiniDarhk:** _warlock_

 **MiniDarhk:** and I’ve never tried

 **MissTimeBureau:** If you’re really hungry, why don’t you come to my place and have pizza? It’s Saturday so I have a day off.

 **Lancelot:** Are you trying to spoil us into behaving, Aves?

 **MissTimeBureau:** Maybe.

 **notbarryallen:** I’ll never say no to pizza

 **grunt:** yeah

 **grunt:** even if it’s at time pig boss’s place

 **MissTimeBureau:** What did you just call me?

 **Trenchcoat:** Ignore him, Sharpie

**MissTimeBureau: 😠**

**MissTimeBureau:** I’m really not in a mood for this today.

 **Trenchcoat:** What got your knickers in a twist

 **MissTimeBureau:** You.

 **Lancelot:** That’s it, you’re uninvited

 **ZariIsTheBest:** but we can still go, right

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I love your place

 **ZariIsTheBest:** maybe I’m biased cause I grew up in DC, but still, it’s really nice

 **notbarryallen:** never thought of you as someone who’d appreciate modern architecture

 **MiniDarhk:** it’s kinda retro for us

 **ZariIsTheBest:** yeah

 **Lancelot:** Guess that it’s a wholly different point of view

 **Trenchcoat:** Architecture couldn’t have changed that much in 24 years, could it?

 **MissTimeBureau:** It could.

 **gayforray:** what’s going on, my phone’s pinging like crazy

 **gayforray:** oh

 **gayforray:** fuck, I’m embarrassed

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you better

 **notbarryallen:** so how was it

 **gayforray:** great

 **gayforray:** still embarrassed, and sorry

 **rayofsunshine:** We got a little carried away.

 **MiniDarhk:** I bet

 **ZariIsTheBest:** can we still eat at Sara and Ava’s place

 **MissTimeBureau:** I’ve invited you over once, so I can’t exactly cancel that invitation, can I?

 **grunt:** yes you can

 **grunt:** but you won’t, right

 **MissTimeBureau:** I suppose not. We could watch some movies if you want?

 **Lancelot:** That would be great

 **rayofsunshine:** Have you ever noticed that all we ever do in our free time is watch movies and shows?

 **gayforray:** you love watching movies and shows

 **rayofsunshine:** I never said I didn’t, I merely stated a fact.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** we also play video games

 **ZariIsTheBest:** and regular games

 **notbarryallen:** and eat

 **Lancelot:** And get drunk and have sex

 **Trenchcoat:** You also do science and combat practice, very loudly might I add

 **grunt:** I watch football

 **ZariIsTheBest:** and surprisingly enough, read sci-fi books

 **Lancelot:** Yeah, that’s really weird

 **grunt:** why

 **MissTimeBureau:** You don’t exactly seem like the reading type, Mr. Rory.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** have you ever published your space erotica novel 👀

 **Trenchcoat:** His what

 **gayforray:** he secretly wrote a sci-fi book that’s not as bad as one would think, don’t you know that?

 **Trenchcoat:** No

 **Trenchcoat:** Space erotica, you said?

 **grunt:** I won’t let the englishman read it

 **grunt:** and no I haven’t published

 **rayofsunshine:** Maybe you should!

 **grunt:** you think someone would read it?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I’m pretty sure there are individuals weird enough to honestly like it on this earth

 **ZariIsTheBest:** going to a publisher won’t hurt

 **gayforray:** do you think there’s one who will not only resist setting it on fire but actually give him a publishing deal

 **ZariIsTheBest:** don’t be so critical, let him have it

 **ZariIsTheBest:** but Ray’s right, we’re terrible adults, aren’t we

 **Lancelot:** We did save the world a couple times and got medals for it, so it can’t be that bad

 **MissTimeBureau:** Just because the Time Bureau gave you medals, doesn’t mean you don’t have your issues.

 **Lancelot:** Well thanks, Aves

 **MissTimeBureau:** I love you despite them.

 **gayforray:** all of us?

 **MissTimeBureau:** No, just Sara. I tolerate the rest of you.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you wouldn’t invite us over for pizza if you didn’t like us at least a little bit

 **notbarryallen:** ^^

 **MissTimeBureau:** Maybe a little bit.

 **MissTimeBureau:** Game Fridays are fun.

 **gayforray:** ha! knew it

 **gayforray:** but wouldn’t it be easier to have some pizza here, Ava can come over

 **gayforray:** the kitchen’s clean

 **ZariIsTheBest:** it will never be clean enough

 **gayforray:** you’re all acting like John and Gary never had sex on the counter

 **Trenchcoat:** Add the table and chairs, mate

 **MissTimeBureau:** Ugh.

 **Trenchcoat:** Not a fan of shagging on random surfaces?

 **MissTimeBureau:** Sara and I do it in bed, like normal people.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** this is all tmi

 **rayofsunshine:** So you’ve never…?

 **MissTimeBureau:** Can’t speak for Sara, but no. It’s not exactly hygienic.

 **Lancelot:** I’m surprised you don’t mind, Ray

 **gayforray:** he minds alright but I can be very persuasive ;)

 **ZariIsTheBest:** yup, I saw you and Amaya in the library more times I can count

 **gayforray:** time loops don’t count

 **ZariIsTheBest:** ahem, it wasn’t just the time I saw stuck in a time loop

 **rayofsunshine:** Please, stop talking about it.

 **MiniDarhk:** jealous, palmer?

 **notbarryallen:** more like embarrassed

 **gayforray:** let’s just say both, right, Ray

 **Lancelot:** I’d love to talk sex with you guys

 **MiniDarhk:** but

 **Lancelot:** We really need to decide where to eat

 **rayofsunshine:** Let’s vote, stay on the Waverider or go to Sara and Ava’s house?

 **gayforray:** stay

 **Trenchcoat:** Stay

 **grunt:** don’t care

 **ZariIsTheBest:** go to their house

 **MiniDarhk:** I’m with zari

 **Lancelot:** Our place

 **MissTimeBureau:** I was the one who invited you, so our place.

 **notbarryallen:** stay

 **gayforray:** baby, it’s up to you

 **rayofsunshine:** I say we go to Ava and Sara’s. We’re on this ship all the time, I think we could do with a little trip to the city.

 **grunt:** maybe we’ll meet a monster to put away

 **ZariIsTheBest:** don’t say that too loudly, Mick, you know what happened the last time

 **grunt:** we got sent to the past

 **ZariIsTheBest:** exactly

 **grunt:** but we’ve been doing nothing for almost a week, I’m bored!

 **Lancelot:** Pizza and beer will improve your mood

 **grunt:** it better

 **ZariIsTheBest:** hey, I’ve just noticed, where’s Gary?

 **Trenchcoat:** Ain’t with me, love

 **Lancelot:** Wonder what’s he gotten himself into this time

 **MissTimeBureau:** Don’t worry, we’ll find him if he got lost somewhere.

 **MiniDarhk:** sounds like it happens a lot

 **Trenchcoat:** It does

 **MissTimeBureau:** It does.

**notbarryallen: 😂**

**Lancelot:** This is it, John, you’re too deep to get out of this one

 **Trenchcoat:** Bollocks

 **Trenchcoat:** But deep is our forte

 **MissTimeBureau:** Ew.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I’m with you on this one


	39. i'm the iron ant-man!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who else thought the goodbye scene between ray and nate should've been a kiss scene *eyes emoji* and the scene with nate holding pig-ray and then suddenly holding a fully grown, naked ray, that was so great. and pig-mick. and john dragging his old suitcase and holdall aboard and hating it. and the whole nate-ava interaction. 
> 
> anyway. enjoy another chapter of this fic!

**2018/10/23**

 

 **notbarryallen:** anyone like star wars fanfiction here

 **gayforray:** hell yes

 **notbarryallen:** I was recommended a series and it’s dope

 **gayforray:** recommended? by whom?

 **notbarryallen:** I have other friends too

 **ZariIsTheBest:** did someone say star wars fanfiction

 **notbarryallen:** after you read this you’ll never view it the same

 **gayforray:** I take a note of the warning

 **gayforray:** now give me

 **notbarryallen:** the series is called discovery and you can find it on ao3

 **notbarryallen:** oh and it’s kylux

 **MiniDarhk:** you should’ve led with that

 **ZariIsTheBest:** is that a good thing or a bad thing

 **MiniDarhk:** good thing

 **ZariIsTheBest:** so you’re into evil space boyfriends, huh

 **Lancelot:** What a surprise

 **gayforray:** I thought you didn’t like star wars

 **Lancelot:** I don’t have to like it to understand the context

 **rayofsunshine:** omg, this is hilarious

 **rayofsunshine:** Wally, my man, you were right

 **notbarryallen:** /wipes off dust from jacket/ of course

 **ZariIsTheBest:** why do you have Ray’s phone

 **rayofsunshine:** can’t read and text at the same time, obviously

 **rayofsunshine:** I didn’t give him permission to borrow it, just FYI.

 **Lancelot:** And here’s Ray

 **rayofsunshine:** How do you know?

 **Lancelot:** Sentence structure and context

 **rayofsunshine:** who’d bother with capitals

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Ray Palmer

 **rayofsunshine:** and Ava

 **notbarryallen:** y’all capitalize names ha

 **Lancelot:** Autocorrect does

 **ZariIsTheBest:** it’s those apple phones…

 **rayofsunshine:** Ray’s reading with me now

 **ZariIsTheBest:**!

 **ZariIsTheBest:** we’re reading on Nora’s phone

 **rayofsunshine:** [ _image attached_ : nothingsbetterthanreadingafanficwithyourbf.jpeg]

 **notbarryallen:** <3

 **Lancelot:** _Reading fanfiction_ is the best thing you can do with your boyfriend?

 **rayofsunshine:** you’re right, Sara ;)

 **rayofsunshine:** It is one of the best things!

 **ZariIsTheBest:** true, Ray, true

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Nora says “say thanks to the kid for this”

 **notbarryallen:** you’re welcome

 **notbarryallen:** the series has 93k words

 **ZariIsTheBest:** cool

 **Lancelot:** That’s a fucking novel

 **Lancelot:** Why

 **rayofsunshine:** People love it.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** how long did it take you to read it?

 **notbarryallen:** barely an hour

 **rayofsunshine:** speedster reading, not fair

 **ZariIsTheBest:** we love that it’s long

 **AgentGeek:** What are you guys talking about?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** where have you been for three days?

 **AgentGeek:** My cell battery died and I misplaced my charger

 **AgentGeek:** I was at home, family crisis

 **rayofsunshine:** we’re reading a star wars fanfic

**AgentGeek: 👀**

**ZariIsTheBest:** scroll up

 **Trenchcoat:** Why didn’t you tell me where you were, love?

 **AgentGeek:** I’ve just said it, dead battery

 **AgentGeek:** John, I’m sorry

 **Lancelot:** Were you _worried_ for Gary, John?

 **Trenchcoat:** I dunno what you’re talking about

 **Lancelot:** You were

 **ZariIsTheBest:** he’s got feelings

 **notbarryallen:** did you all miss the part where he confessed his love on this chat

 **rayofsunshine:** what?

 **notbarryallen:** oh right you did

 **notbarryallen:** there was just amaya and me

 **Lancelot:** You sneaky bastard

 **Trenchcoat:** ;)

 **rayofsunshine:** Nate spat out his chips because of you.

**notbarryallen: 😂**

**rayofsunshine:** _it’s real_

 **rayofsunshine:** congrats, guys 👏

 **ZariIsTheBest:** the best thing about this is Nate and Ray randomly switching phones

 **rayofsunshine:** we both want to say things

 **notbarryallen:** read on a pc then

 **rayofsunshine:** clever 👌

 **Lancelot:** Did you request Gideon to put it on the big screen

 **gayforray:** so what if I did

 **ZariIsTheBest:** go big or go home

 **rayofsunshine:** This expression never made sense to me. Why is going home worse?

 **rayofsunshine:** Why can’t you go big _and_ go home?

 **notbarryallen:** your atom suit can

 **grunt:** or a dick

 **ZariIsTheBest:** MICK

 **grunt:** it’s true

 **AgentGeek:** Also Ant-Man

 **gayforray:** did it ever occur to you that your suit and Ant-Man’s suit are basically the same

 **rayofsunshine:** Go ahead, ruin the only good thing I’ve ever done in my life.

 **notbarryallen:** dude, I’d be thrilled

 **notbarryallen:** and it’s true

 **notbarryallen:** I have the same powers as six other people, two of whom are evil, and I love them

 **gayforray:** aren’t you forgetting Savitar?

 **notbarryallen:** he was just barry from an alternate future so idk if he counts as another speedster

 **Lancelot:** Probably not

 **rayofsunshine:** But that’s the thing, Wally. You have powers. I’m a scientist who built a unique suit, and now you’re telling me I copied Ant-Man.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** and maybe iron man a bit, with the flying and shooting

 **gayforray:** that’s not nice, Zari

 **ZariIsTheBest:** but true

 **notbarryallen:** I also have the same powers like pietro maximoff

 **Lancelot:** There will always be people in comics and movies who do the same stuff like us

 **Trenchcoat:** When it’s doctor who you’re excited, mate

 **ZariIsTheBest:** even John is supportive, wow, what a day

 **Trenchcoat:** I’m stating a fact

 **rayofsunshine:** I suppose it is cool that I have Iron Man’s suit combined with Ant-Man’s.

 **rayofsunshine:** I’m the Iron Ant-Man!

 **gayforray:** don’t call yourself that

 **rayofsunshine:** You’re right, it doesn’t have the ring to it. I’ll stick with The Atom.

 **gayforray:** that’s my man

 **gayforray:** let’s go back to reading now though

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Nora didn’t wait for me and read on

 **notbarryallen:** rude

 **ZariIsTheBest:** and rolled her eyes before scrolling back

 **ZariIsTheBest:** she can see everything we say here so I guess I should focus on reading

 **notbarryallen:** enjoy ;)

 **Lancelot:** Why are you so obsessed with fanfiction?

 **gayforray:** I wouldn’t say obsessed

 **rayofsunshine:** Have you never read one, Sara?

 **Lancelot:** Of course I did

 **Lancelot:** In college

 **notbarryallen:** what about 👀

 **Lancelot:** How am I supposed to remember that

 **Lancelot:** Okay it was Harry Potter

 **Trenchcoat:** Into witches and wizards, eh, Sara?

 **Lancelot:** Shut up

 **Lancelot:** If you think that’s why I slept with you, it’s not

 **AgentGeek:** It’s why I slept with him

 **gayforray:** we know, Gary

 **notbarryallen:** what was the ship that made you read a fanfic, sara???

 **Lancelot:** You really wanna know that, don’t you

**rayofsunshine: 👀**

**Lancelot:** Stop doing that

**gayforray: 👀**

**Lancelot:** Harry and Draco

 **notbarryallen:** knew it

 **Lancelot:** How

 **notbarryallen:** gay culture

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I would read fanfiction about doctor who for hours back in the day

 **ZariIsTheBest:** it was illegal

 **notbarryallen:** WHAT

 **notbarryallen:** why

 **ZariIsTheBest:** why don’t you ask the people who ruled this godforsaken country

 **rayofsunshine:** No spoilers about the future, thank you.

 **gayforray:** you didn’t last very long without looking at your cell @ZariIsTheBest

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you know me

 **grunt:** englishman and time pig are doing it again

 **grunt:** loud

 **Lancelot:** Tell _them_ that, Mick

 **rayofsunshine:** Must’ve missed each other.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Ray, stating the obvious again

 **gayforray:** I think they’re adorable when they’re not doing weird sex stuff

 **grunt:** that’s all the time

 **Lancelot:** It’s nice John’s in an actual, functional relationship. You should’ve seen him before

 **notbarryallen:** we did

 **gayforray:** flirting with Amaya and Leo at the same time

 **ZariIsTheBest:** he’s not that much better than that, though

 **Lancelot:** I’ve had worse friends

 **rayofsunshine:** Who?

 **Lancelot:** League of Assassins, class of ‘08

 **Lancelot:** I didn’t even realize that was 10 years ago…

 **rayofsunshine:** Think about the bright side, if you never became an assassin, you wouldn’t have come back to Star City, met Oliver again, been recruited on this team, and become our captain.

 **Lancelot:** But I wouldn’t have died either

 **rayofsunshine:** They resurrected you and John rescued your soul.

 **Lancelot:** I’ve been in hell, Ray. Literal hell

 **Lancelot:** I believe when Lucifer said I don’t have to go back, but it’s still been the worst thing in my life

 **Lancelot:** Or death, actually, but who knows anymore in this world

 **gayforray:** oops, this became really dark

 **grunt:** blondie

 **Lancelot:** Yeah

 **grunt:** you need a vodka slushie

 **Lancelot:** Maybe I do

 **Lancelot:** Thanks, Mick

 **ZariIsTheBest:** let’s agree this is John’s fault

 **gayforray:** well, if you want to go diving into the cause of this gloomy conversation, it’s Gary

 **ZariIsTheBest:** who introduced John to Gary?

 **Lancelot:** Ava

 **Lancelot:** To save me from Mallus

 **gayforray:** he was there because of Nora

 **ZariIsTheBest:** if you’re going to blame someone, blame Damien Darhk

 **rayofsunshine:** Whose fault was it that she was taken? Mine. I also elaborated on the League of Assassins conversation, so all in all, this is on me. I’m sorry.

 **Lancelot:** My dark past will never go away, Ray. Stop blaming yourself

 **Lancelot:** This goes for all of you

 **Lancelot:** Who wants some vodka slushie?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** not me

 **gayforray:** only if you bring it to our room

 **Lancelot:** I’m your captain, not your servant, Heywood

 **gayforray:** there’s the Sara we know

 **rayofsunshine:** We all love you, Sara. You’re our annoying sister.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** and our very own Raymond Holt

 **Lancelot:** Shut up about that already

 **ZariIsTheBest:** nope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the fic series they were talking about is [this one](https://archiveofourown.org/series/443149). read it if you never want to take star wars seriously again.


	40. [interlude] darkness

Sleep avoided her all night.

Sara turned over and checked the clock. 3:24 a.m. A sigh escaped her mouth. Except for the digital alarm clock, the room was submerged in darkness. She could hear her own breath, and a low hum of the ship she stopped taking into account long ago.

Thoughts of the Queen’s Gambit, and the League, and her death— _hell_ —ran around her mind over and over. She was unable to make them stop.

Without Ava next to her, warm and comforting and _alive_ , her dreamless night was even harder. It’s been a while since she spent a night on the Waverider, by herself. It was almost unbelievable, but she got used to having someone by her side; it was something she never thought would happen again. After Nyssa.

And in that darkness, she thought that maybe John had been right. She should just leave her before Ava got hurt because that’s what Sara inevitably did. Hurt good people.

It was her hell loop. Killing the man right in front of his daughter, not because he deserved it, but because Ra’s al Ghul told her to. It still haunted her.

Mallus knew. He was a demon. He came from hell. Of course he knew. He showed her, and if she’s ever forgotten, it all came back.

3:26. She thought more time has passed. This was pointless.

Thanks, Ray, for reminding me.

But then again, it wasn’t his fault. It was all on her.

Sara got up; the metal floor was cold against her bare feet. She put on her slippers and walked out of her empty, dark room. She didn’t know where she was going until she arrived in the kitchen, which was, to her surprise, not empty.

‘What the hell are you doing here?’

‘I could ask you the same question,’ Zari said, raising an eyebrow. She was nibbling on a salad.

Sara pointed at her bowl with a look. ‘Craving rabbit food in the middle of the night, huh?’

‘Funny,’ she didn’t smile, only kept on chewing. ‘I couldn’t sleep.’

‘Likewise, except I’ve got a craving for some neat scotch.’ Sara walked over to the drink fabricator and let Gideon pour her a double whisky. She downed a half before she sat across Zari. ‘Really, why are you here?’

She sensed neither of them was in a mood for talking, but the silence was even more uncomfortable.

‘I guess I’ve been thinking about Damien Darhk and Nora and, you know, all that’s happened in the past year.’ She forked a tomato slice but decided against putting it in her mouth. ‘Sometimes I don’t know what to do.’

Sara scoffed. ‘Yeah.’ She took another sip. It helped, at least for a moment. ‘Maybe it sounds like I have everything under control, being the captain and all, but it couldn’t be further from the truth.’ She looked up. Zari ate the tomato. ‘I’ve killed people for a living, Zari. For _years_. Sometimes I think I’ve finally left my past behind, but then it all comes back to me, and there’s nothing I can do to take it away.’

‘Wow, Sara, I had no idea,’ she looked her in the eye. ‘Me worrying about my feelings must sound so pathetic to you.’

‘No. I think about Ava all the time, too. I feel like I don’t deserve anyone so good…’

‘Alright, don’t listen to Constantine, he knows shit about real love. What she and you have it’s real, everyone can see that. She loves you, and you love her back, so don’t you dare throw that away.’

‘Thanks. That does help a little.’ She fingered her glass absently. After a few seconds, she added, ‘But hey, I think there might actually be something real between him and Gary, too, as weird as that is.’

‘Yeah, maybe. But Gary loves John more than he will ever love him. He’s scared. Just like you, or me.’ Her gaze was directed at the table. There was a greasy stain visible even despite the poor night-time lighting. It was Mick’s turn to clean the kitchen.

‘You talking about Nora?’

Zari sucked in a breath. She was still looking at the stain rather than at Sara. ‘Yeah. Maybe. I don’t exactly know what to do with all that.’

‘Feelings?’ Sara asked. She knew the answer.

Zari finally looked up, a bitter smile playing at her lips. ‘Look at us, being all tragic and unable to process emotions like normal people and having this conversation in the kitchen in the middle of the night.’

Sara recalled about her own intrusive thoughts, nagging at her, making her go and have a drink. ‘Guess we’re both broken.’

‘Legends,’ Zari offered.

‘Yeah.’ Sara finished the contents of her glass. ‘Will it ever get better?’

‘I don’t know, Sara. That’s why I’m here.’

Sara gave her a once-over. ‘Eating salad in your pyjamas.’

‘Hey, I was hungry,’ she shot back and put a large forkful of vegetables in her mouth to demonstrate her point.

‘I’m not judging or anything.’ She came here for alcohol, after all. ‘Your pyjamas are cute.’

Zari looked down at her T-shirt with a large pink rabbit. Sara couldn’t see her face properly in the dim light, but she was sure she was flustered.

‘Go and call Ava,’ she suddenly said. ‘You need to talk to her.’

‘I don’t know, Zari. She’s probably sleeping, she doesn’t need me to ruin her night.’

‘Are you not listening? She loves you. She won’t mind.’

‘Maybe you should do by your own advice, too. About Nora. Can’t believe I’m saying this, but there’s something real there too. I saw the way you look at each other.’

Zari clutched her fork with more force than necessary. ‘I thought you stopped seeing her as a threat already.’

‘I did! But it’s still a little weird when she goes on missions with us, that’s all.’

No, that was the wrong thing to say. She trusted Nora. It was no different with her than it was with Mick and Leonard when Rip first brought them on the ship.

(Leonard. Rip. Stein. More good people who died so she wouldn’t.)

‘Well, thanks for being so supportive, this really helped.’

‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t’ve said anything.’ She made things worse. Again. ‘Told you I was broken.’

‘No, you’re—you’re right. I do like her. A lot. I’m just not good at showing those feelings.’

‘I’m sure she knows.’ Sara tapped her fingernails on the table. She couldn’t leave things this way between them. ‘Now, what’s all that about a “trial relationship”, you make out on the couch and write notes about it?’

Zari threw a piece of lettuce Sara’s way. ‘Shut up.’

‘What, can’t a girl be curious?’ She picked the lettuce up and threw it back at her. ‘And take this back, I don’t want your green stuff.’

‘Now I’m mildly offended.’

‘I should probably go and leave you to it.’ She pushed her chair back and took one last look at Zari’s ridiculous pyjamas. ‘Thanks for the talk.’ She meant it.

‘Yeah. So long.’ Zari mocked a salute and skewered some defenceless cucumber pieces.

Sara slowly wandered back to her room, feeling a little less lost than a minute ago. The mental image of the little girl, the snowy mountains, the demon inside her head hasn’t quite vanished, but it was pushed deeper to the back of her mind.

She found her mobile on her nightstand and opened her contacts. Ava was the first number on her list. Her thumb hovered above the dial button for a few seconds. She hesitated. This was a bad idea.

She pressed the button and it rang for a few seconds before a sleepy but concerned Ava said, ‘Sara, what’s going on, are you alright?’

It was good to hear her voice. ‘Yeah, I’m just—can’t sleep.’ She bit her lip. ‘Can we just talk?’

‘Yeah,’ She heard some rustling from the other side. Crispy hotel bedsheets, most likely. ‘It’s not like I’m too busy anyway.’

That evoked a laugh from Sara.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didn't mean to get dark but i guess it's what happens when you're writing at 10 pm while listening to metalcore
> 
> also. happy halloween, guys! (there will be a few chapters focusing on it coming soon!)


	41. ...ray's hat...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> buckle up, because this is my retelling of episode two ;p it's also the longest chat chapter. i wrote it yesterday, totally spontaneously.
> 
> there are three major differences:  
> 1\. constantine, obviously, lives on the ship longer and definitely is on the chores wheel  
> 2\. nora was there and when zari ran to help jane, she went with her  
> 3\. nate to hank: this is my _boy_ friend, ray
> 
> enjoy!

**2018/10/26**

 

 **gayforray:** it’s dinner Friday so I’m taking the jumpship

 **gayforray:** just letting you know

 **notbarryallen:** wait I’m coming with you

 **ZariIsTheBest:** what’s going on

 **notbarryallen:** said I had other friends than you

 **Lancelot:** Yeah, but you’ve been spending a lot of time off the ship lately

 **notbarryallen:** so have you

 **Lancelot:** With Ava

 **notbarryallen:** don’t see how that’s different

 **gayforray:** leave him alone, why can’t he have plans for Friday night

 **MiniDarhk:** did you join a new cult

 **notbarryallen:** hey you figured it out

**AgentGeek: 😂**

**Lancelot:** Enjoy it

 **gayforray:** if dinner with dad can be enjoyable

 **MiniDarhk:** why do it then

 **gayforray:** I don’t know, maybe I want to be the bigger man and put things right with my family

 **gayforray:** no that just sounded rude

 **ZariIsTheBest:** we get it, Nate

 **ZariIsTheBest:** in the meantime, we’ll just be chilling here, watching new sitcom episodes

 **notbarryallen:** the halloween tbbt one was killing it

 **rayofsunshine:** So you are watching TBBT!

 **notbarryallen:** guilty pleasure shows, dude

 **notbarryallen:** stop kink shaming me

 **gayforray:** oho nice

 **Lancelot:** You’ve already watched it? It airs in two hours

 **notbarryallen:** oops

 **ZariIsTheBest:** good approach, Wally

 **Trenchcoat:** How do you even keep track of time, floating in the… whatever you call it

 **rayofsunshine:** Time Vortex.

 **Lancelot:** Temporal zone

 **Lancelot:** And we don’t, our phones do it for us

 **rayofsunshine:** Or smart watches.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** who even wears a watch anymore

 **gayforray:** Ray

 **rayofsunshine:** People still wear watches! Do they?

 **MiniDarhk:** maybe rich white dudes

 **ZariIsTheBest:** he’s a rich white dude

 **rayofsunshine:** I’m not rich _anymore_ , Zari.

 **notbarryallen:** and instagram models

 **AgentGeek:** Do you have an instagram

 **notbarryallen:** only for friends

 **AgentGeek:** Aren’t we friends?

 **notbarryallen:** uh, no

 **gayforray:** we’ve just landed

 **rayofsunshine:** My condolences.

 **gayforray:** it won’t be that terrible

 **gayforray:** who am I kidding, it will

 **Lancelot:** Guys

 **ZariIsTheBest:** bones alert?

 **rayofsunshine:** Yes, definitely bones alert.

 **Lancelot:** Gather on the bridge

 **gayforray:** agh that’s even less fair now

 **gayforray:** what magical fucker did you find this time

 **ZariIsTheBest:** don’t know yet, but apparently, we’re going to 1692 Salem

 **grunt:** bet it’s a witch

 **gayforray:** okay, I don’t mind skipping the witch trials that much

 **Trenchcoat:** My words exactly

 **rayofsunshine:** How’s operation Dinner with Dad going?

 **gayforray:** good steak

 **gayforray:** but it’s a disaster

 **gayforray:** and now he’s got this judgmental look on cause I’m looking at my phone all the time

 **Lancelot:** Bye for now

 **gayforray:** yeah it’s probably for the better

 **ZariIsTheBest:** we’re on our way too

 **Trenchcoat:** Gary, tell them not to force me to put on a ridiculous puritan get-up

 **AgentGeek:** What John said

 **MiniDarhk:** I’d love to see you in one

 **Trenchcoat:** No

 **AgentGeek:** Me too

 **Trenchcoat:** Not even for you

 **Lancelot:** Fine, do as you please

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Mick, why don’t you want to come with us

 **grunt:** why should I

 **grunt:** you said there will be no burning witches

 **AgentGeek:** Can I come?

 **MissTimeBureau:** Gary, just enjoy your day off.

 **Lancelot:** Hey, Aves

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you’re such a slytherin

 **MissTimeBureau:**?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** always reading this but never responding unless it concerns you

 **Lancelot:** Good point ;)

 **MissTimeBureau:** I always thought I was more of a Ravenclaw.

 **AgentGeek:** I’m a Huffer!

 **rayofsunshine:** So is Nate!

 **Lancelot:** Let’s not talk about HP right now, we have a mission

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Right

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I’m almost dressed

 **grunt:** what takes you so long

 **grunt:** I’m in and out of these stupid clothes faster

 **MiniDarhk:** [ _image attached_ : unimpressed.jpeg]

 **ZariIsTheBest:** thanks

 **rayofsunshine:** Nice dress. 

 **MiniDarhk:** is a snort enough of a response for you

 **rayofsunshine:** Wait till you see my hat!

 **ZariIsTheBest:** @gayforray [ _image attached_ : rayshat.jpeg]

 **gayforray: 👍**  cool hat, period appropriate

 **MiniDarhk:** anyone else notice the photo title

 **MiniDarhk:** ray shat

**gayforray: 😂**

**ZariIsTheBest:** …ray’s hat…

 **rayofsunshine:** Stop talking about the hat and let’s go.

 **gayforray:** didn’t you say you were on your way 10 mins ago

 **Lancelot:** We’re really on our way now

 **grunt:** I’m gonna have a burger

 **ZariIsTheBest:** that’s great, Mick

 **grunt:** trenchcoat’s in the kitchen asking for weird stuff

 **Lancelot:** I’d rather not know what weird stuff you mean

 **Trenchcoat:** Gideon won’t make me possum’s tail

 **MissTimeBureau:** Ugh, what do you need that for?

 **Trenchcoat:** Spells, pet

 **Lancelot:** Tell her I say she can do that

 **Lancelot:** But it’s gross

 **Trenchcoat:** Ta

 **Trenchcoat:** She’s a good girl now

 **MissTimeBureau:** Can’t blame her for not liking you.

 **Trenchcoat:** Guess it’s just you and me now

 **MissTimeBureau:** No, thanks, I have a presentation to prepare.

 **gayforray:** okay so the dinner didn’t go well

 **gayforray:** a few more judgmental looks and a pocket of ancient coins later, I left

 **grunt:** so why did you go there

 **gayforray:** I literally said why before I left

 **grunt:** englishman’s hogging my football chair

 **gayforray:** I guess today sucks for both of us, pal

 **rayofsunshine:** We were right, there is a witch!

 **gayforray:** you found her already?

 **Lancelot:** It’s a different one than we thought but yeah

 **rayofsunshine:** And I’m sorry for that, Nate.

 **gayforray:** yeah, well, I did see it coming

 **gayforray:** I’ll just stay the night here

 **rayofsunshine:** Do you want me to get you?

 **gayforray:** no, it’s ok, babe

 **rayofsunshine:** Okay.

 **MissTimeBureau:** Turns out “staying the night” means the Time Bureau.

 **MissTimeBureau:** He freaked me out.

 **Trenchcoat:** Good

 **gayforray:** I’ve got pants now

 **Lancelot:** What’s going on in there

 **gayforray:** I just walked out of the shower, I had no idea Ava was still here

 **MissTimeBureau:** I did say I had a presentation the prepare

 **gayforray:** didn’t think it was here

 **Lancelot:** Ava is a terrible workaholic sometimes, isn’t that right, babe

 **MissTimeBureau:** Sorry, but I’m the director, I have to be.

 **MissTimeBureau:** Besides, Nate decided to help me.

 **gayforray:** we make a good team

 **Lancelot:** Have fun with budgets

 **MissTimeBureau:** You remember I said that?

 **Lancelot:** You talked about it all morning

 **Lancelot:** We gotta go catch our witch

 **ZariIsTheBest:** another plot twist: it’s a fucking evil fairy godmother

 **gayforray:** _what_

 **AgentGeek:** Awesome

 **MissTimeBureau:** Fairy godmother, as in, Cinderella fairy godmother?

 **rayofsunshine:** Exactly that one. She sang!

 **MiniDarhk:** shut up about that already, it was awful

 **rayofsunshine:** Maybe, but the tune _was_ catchy.

 **grunt:** say that again

 **gayforray:** wow, I’ve never seen a mission from an outside perspective

 **gayforray:** it’s almost night here but you’re all in 1692

 **ZariIsTheBest:** that doesn’t even make sense

 **gayforray:** I’m tired

 **rayofsunshine:** You should go to bed.

 **Lancelot:** Both of you

 **MissTimeBureau:** But it’s not done yet.

 **Lancelot:** I’m the captain

 **MissTimeBureau:** You do enjoy bossing me around.

 **Lancelot:** ;)

 **Lancelot:** Have a good night, we gotta go catch this bitch of a fairy

 **Trenchcoat:** She was here, rumbling on about hellfire and revenge

 **Trenchcoat:** I hate that old hag

 **ZariIsTheBest:** And you didn’t catch her?

 **Trenchcoat:** Slippery one

 **Lancelot:** Damn it

 **rayofsunshine:** All that Disney adventure made me hungry.

 **grunt:** yeah me too

 **rayofsunshine:** You were there for like five minutes.

 **grunt:** so

 **Lancelot:** Let’s eat and then figure out what to do next.

 **rayofsunshine:** Great!

 **Trenchcoat:** I think I’ll actually join you for this one

 **notbarryallen:** sounds like you’re having a lot of fun

 **Lancelot:** The opposite

 **Lancelot:** How are you 👀

 **rayofsunshine:** First we fail to capture the fairy, and now Zari and Nora vanished.

 **notbarryallen:** together 👀

 **rayofsunshine:** Yes, but to the village, inevitably trying to do something reckless.

 **notbarryallen:** wouldn’t have it any other way

 **notbarryallen:** and I’m great

 **notbarryallen:** clubbing

 **notbarryallen:** ran into jax and carly

 **Jaxon:** im reading this whole thing 4 fun u know

 **Lancelot:** Why don’t you talk to us?

 **Jaxon:** it makes me miss the old adventures id rather not

 **Jaxon:** and ive got a new job so im really busy nowadays

 **Lancelot:** Good for you, Jax

 **Lancelot:** We should go and rescue those two

 **rayofsunshine:** Yeah.

 **grunt:** but we just ate

 **Lancelot:** I’ll head out first if you’re feeling bloated

 **notbarryallen:** nice 😁

 **Trenchcoat:** Sara, she was here

 **Trenchcoat:** Sealed my mouth shut and turned Palmer and Rory into pigs

 **Lancelot:** Fuck, no

 **Lancelot:** I have to save Zari and Nora from being burned to death as witches

 **Lancelot:** Thanks, Mick

 **Trenchcoat:** Can’t hear you, he’s a pig

 **Trenchcoat:** I’m coming your way

 **gayforray:** really, this whole time travel thing is funnier when I’m not there

 **gayforray:** I just picked up piggy Ray because Hank needs proof magic exists because he’s in charge of Time Bureau budgets and he kinda shut it down because Gary told him all about our magical fugitives

 **gayforray:** I have to fix it now and he’s proof

 **gayforray:** also adorable

 **AgentGeek:** I’m sorry I didn’t schmooze him enough

 **MissTimeBureau:** Do you have to keep showing people your missing nipple, Gary?

 **Trenchcoat:** He did that, didn’t he

 **Trenchcoat:** Tomaz and Darhk are out of the pyre but it’s all going arse over tits here

 **gayforray:** no, you need to fix it, like, right now

 **MissTimeBureau:** The existence of the Time Bureau depends on you.

 **Trenchcoat:** Can’t do much without my mouth, love

 **AgentGeek:** You still have hands

 **Trenchcoat:** We’re talking about the literal kind of magic here, Gary

 **Trenchcoat:** Oh good, the lass released the fairy godmother, I’m free

**gayforray: 👍**

**AgentGeek:** All good on our part

 **MissTimeBureau:** [ _image attached_ : rayisnolongerapig.jpeg]

 **Trenchcoat:** Alright, I gotta hand it to Palmer, he works out

 **AgentGeek:** Yeah

 **Lancelot:** Ava 😮

 **Lancelot:** Blue fairy is officially captured and on her way to hell

 **MissTimeBureau:** What, it was too funny not to send.

 **gayforray:** I introduced Ray as my boyfriend and Hank only gave me another sour look so I guess we’re fine

 **gayforray:** and also got a budget for $4.2 b i l l i o n

**Lancelot: 😘**

**MissTimeBureau:** Nate is really good at this.

**rayofsunshine: 😊**

**rayofsunshine:** And yes, he really is. And very strong.

 **gayforray:** I _am_ the man of steel

 **AgentGeek:** Isn’t that title taken?

 **gayforray:** shut up

 **gayforray:** I was offered a job at the Bureau

 **notbarryallen:** yo that’s cool, nate

 **Lancelot:** That’s great!

 **Lancelot:** Are you going to take it?

 **gayforray:** I don’t know yet

 **rayofsunshine:** Did you know Time Bureau had a softball team? I got a hoodie with their logo!

 **MissTimeBureau:** We also have a volleyball team.

 **gayforray:** I think I’m taking the job

 **gayforray:** but don’t worry, I’ll still live with you dorks

 **rayofsunshine:** <3


	42. gideon play despacito

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy :)

**2018/10/29**

 

 **gayforray:** man, I still can’t believe phoenixes are real and one of them tried to burn us alive

 **gayforray:** in _July Morocco_

 **MiniDarhk:** heywood says for the 10th time

 **ZariIsTheBest:** more like 20th

 **ZariIsTheBest:** and that’s been happening a lot lately

 **grunt:** I want one as a pet

 **Lancelot:** Of course you do

 **rayofsunshine:** Mice aren’t enough for you now, are they, Mick?

 **grunt:** not when I saw that beauty

 **Trenchcoat:** A phoenix from hell is an ideal pet for Rory indeed

 **Trenchcoat:** I think I know what I’m gonna give him for Christmas

 **Lancelot:** NO

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you celebrate Christmas?

 **Trenchcoat:** It’s a fake holiday Christians created to put a stop to the solstice celebrations and all the magic used in the rituals, but I do love the eggnog and making out with a lovely bird or lad under the mistletoe

 **MiniDarhk:** wow

 **gayforray:** dude, you can’t ruin Christmas like this

 **Trenchcoat:** You asked

 **notbarryallen:** it’s not even halloween yet

 **Trenchcoat:** Fun fact, Halloween was originally a Gaelic holiday called Samhain, and not only it celebrated the beginning of the darker days, but also rifts between worlds would open and spirits could cross over

 **ZariIsTheBest:** great

 **ZariIsTheBest:** trust John to ruin the good things

 **gayforray:** wanna hear a story about Thanksgiving

 **rayofsunshine:** We did, several times.

 **MiniDarhk:** let us have it, degree-in-history

 **ZariIsTheBest:** have you ever celebrated Thanksgiving or Halloween or Christmas at all?

 **MiniDarhk:** only as a kid, when mom was still alive and dad wasn’t…

 **gayforray:** evil

 **MiniDarhk:** thanks for reminding me

 **MiniDarhk:** have you, zari?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** only Thanksgiving and Halloween

 **rayofsunshine:** You’ve never celebrated Christmas?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** let’s not forget I’m Muslim

 **rayofsunshine:** Oh, right, silly Ray Palmer.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** no it’s alright

 **Lancelot:** You did have dinner with us last year though

 **ZariIsTheBest:** well, I felt it would be rude not to, and besides, I do like the atmosphere of it, you know, getting together with your family and having a meal together and giving each other gifts

 **ZariIsTheBest:** it’s the religious stuff I don’t take part in

 **Lancelot:** Who does anymore

 **notbarryallen:** we still go to church with dad but like we don’t really believe in god

 **Trenchcoat:** Believe me, it doesn’t make a difference in the end, so why bother

 **gayforray:** exactly

 **gayforray:** even if we do actually know he exists, and the devil, and all that

 **rayofsunshine:** I still think that’s overwhelming, don’t you? That we’re actually God’s creations and he has a plan for everyone.

 **MiniDarhk:** and what’s that, flying in a time ship and fighting anachronisms and aberrations and aliens and magical fuckers and being possessed by a time demon

 **MiniDarhk:** I’m not sure I like his plan

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I believe there’s something good for all of us

 **MiniDarhk:** well I do have you

**notbarryallen: 👀**

**MiniDarhk: 🗡️🔥**

**gayforray: 👏**

**MiniDarhk: 😏**

**ZariIsTheBest: ❤️**

**Lancelot: 😲**

**rayofsunshine: 😄**

**Trenchcoat:** Children

**AgentGeek: 🖕😇❤️**

**MissTimeBureau: 😎**

**Lancelot: ❤️**

**MissTimeBureau: ❤️**

**ZariIsTheBest:** *pride flag heart emoji* *Waverider emoji*

**grunt: 🍺**

**ZariIsTheBest:** Mick’s got his priorities straight

 **grunt:** wanna have a beer with me

 **ZariIsTheBest:** for the 100th time, I don’t drink, but thanks for the offer

 **rayofsunshine:** Anyway, since you mentioned Halloween, I have an idea. Last year we went trick-or-treating with young me, could we do something like that again?

 **rayofsunshine:** It _is_ this Wednesday.

 **Lancelot:** Ava and I already have plans

 **MissTimeBureau:** We’re going on a date to this fancy restaurant in DC you have to book a table in three months in advance.

 **Lancelot:** She flashed the Time Bureau card and got us in a week ago ;)

 **gayforray:** cool

 **gayforray:** can I like do that now too

 **MissTimeBureau:** You weren’t supposed to tell anyone.

 **rayofsunshine:** You can definitely try, Nate 😊

 **Lancelot:** Sorry if I want to show everyone what an awesome girlfriend I have

 **ZariIsTheBest:** so you’re all good?

 **MissTimeBureau:** Why wouldn’t we be?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** nothing, forget I said anything

 **gayforray:** two words: time ship

 **gayforray:** I like Ray’s idea

 **rayofsunshine:** Thanks, Nate!

 **gayforray:** <3

 **Trenchcoat:** You can cross me out of whatever you come up with, ta

 **AgentGeek:** No way, John, we’re a part of the team now

 **grunt:** same with me

 **gayforray:** nuh uh, this compulsory

 **grunt:** says who

 **gayforray:** says me, right now

 **gayforray:** I have the authority to do that

 **rayofsunshine:** Sara?

 **Lancelot:** I say we do it

 **MiniDarhk:** let’s get drunk and play monopoly so I can beat you again

 **gayforray:** no, we said no speedster juice

 **rayofsunshine:** And you don’t win every time, Nora.

 **MiniDarhk:** thanks for reminding me, palmer

 **rayofsunshine:** What I meant was, we should go out again! Or have a Halloween party with Team Flash and Team Arrow! Something of that note.

 **Lancelot:** That wouldn’t end well

 **notbarryallen:** lol no but it would be fun

 **notbarryallen:** my family would be in and they’d bring cisco and caitlin and ralph too

 **Lancelot:** Maybe, but I don’t know about team Arrow

 **Lancelot:** Oliver’s in jail and Diaz is still after the rest

 **rayofsunshine:** Right, I didn’t realize that. It’s sad we can’t help them.

 **notbarryallen:** (alexa play despacito)

 **MiniDarhk:** that old meme 😂

 **Trenchcoat:** Did someone tell Gideon to blast that horrible song across the whole ship

 **MiniDarhk:** that was me, you’re welcome

 **notbarryallen:** _gideon_ _play despacito_

 **notbarryallen:** and it’s not old from our perspective

 **MiniDarhk:** right

 **Lancelot:** Please, turn it off, Gideon won’t listen to me

 **MiniDarhk:** she came to like me

 **ZariIsTheBest:** she does like me a lot

**ZariIsTheBest: 😏**

**gayforray:** interesting 👀

 **gayforray:** anyway, I’m sure there _is_ a way we can help them with whoever Diaz is, right?

 **Lancelot:** You don’t want to interfere with that motherfucker

 **Lancelot:** As much as I’d love to see his head on a spike

 **gayforray:** _oh_

 **rayofsunshine:** Sara, I’m so sorry.

 **Lancelot:** Sorry isn’t going to bring my dad back

 **MissTimeBureau:** I’m going to make you strawberries with whipped cream and a mimosa <3

 **Lancelot:** <3

 **ZariIsTheBest:** did you tell Gideon to play Hollywood Undead

 **MiniDarhk:** what, it’s an empowering song

 **MiniDarhk:** makes you want to murder bad guys

 **gayforray:** that’s an interesting meaning of the word empowering

 **MiniDarhk:** maybe you forgot who I am

 **notbarryallen:** you know hu in the future?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** they’re popular in the meta refugee underground

 **Lancelot:** You know, I think they could all use the distraction

 **gayforray:** once again, I’m sorry if I was being disrespectful

 **Lancelot:** Wasn’t your fault, Nate

 **notbarryallen:** I have an idea

**gayforray: 👀**

**notbarryallen:** we could have cisco breach oliver out of jail and then return him a second later so he’d be with us but no one would notice he was gone cause we have a fucking time machine

 **MissTimeBureau:** Mr. Queen was recently stabbed in the stomach and beaten up, though.

 **MissTimeBureau:** We’re watching him. Long story.

 **Lancelot:** Oh

 **Lancelot:** Gideon could patch him up

 **rayofsunshine:** They would know he was away then, it would be too suspicious.

 **gayforray:** you’re right

 **notbarryallen:** let’s have a party without him then

 **rayofsunshine:** Isn’t that a little unfair?

 **Lancelot:** It’s unfair he’s in jail for saving the city a million times

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Cisco could at least bring him candy

 **gayforray:** Felicity can do that herself

 **rayofsunshine:** Getting him out for a few minutes won’t hurt him, we could at least talk to him. Felicity would be happy.

 **Lancelot:** We could go see my dad

 **Lancelot:** He wouldn’t need to know we’re from the future

 **Lancelot:** I just want to see him one more time

 **MissTimeBureau:** Of course, Sara.

 **Trenchcoat:** Isn’t that like against your pathetic time bureau rules

 **MissTimeBureau:** Not now, Constantine.

 **Trenchcoat:** Anyone else you want to invite to your hero get-together? Lucifer perhaps?

 **gayforray:** that’s not actually a bad idea

 **gayforray:** I bet his daughter would be excited to meet us

 **notbarryallen:** and go trick or treating

 **Lancelot:** Now that _is_ a bad idea

 **rayofsunshine:** If you want to bring someone along, John, just say so!

 **Trenchcoat:** Better not

 **Trenchcoat:** You don’t want an immortal and a psychic in your company

 **ZariIsTheBest:** who now

 **Trenchcoat:** My mates, Chaz and Zed

 **Trenchcoat:** He’s not technically immortal, but close

 **gayforray:** cool

 **gayforray:** like that doctor from Forever immortal or Ra’s al Ghul immortal

 **rayofsunshine:** You could’ve just said Highlander or Jack Harkness, no one watches Forever.

 **gayforray:** do they

 **notbarryallen:** don’t know what you’re talking about

 **gayforray:** only the coolest show no one knows

 **gayforray:** there’s a lot about antiques

 **Trenchcoat:** I used a spell on him that made him absorb the souls of people who died in the same place as he did and he’s got as many lives as there were souls

 **Trenchcoat:** I think he’s only on 7 now though

 **MiniDarhk:** I’ve heard of that spell

 **gayforray:** _only_ seven???

 **MiniDarhk:** didn’t know it works

 **Trenchcoat:** Neither did I, love

 **Trenchcoat:** I was drunk

 **Lancelot:** That sounds legit

 **ZariIsTheBest:** how are you not freaking about a spell that gives someone more lives by stealing other people’s souls

 **rayofsunshine:** We’ve seen so many weird things nothing can surprise us anymore?

 **notbarryallen:** we’ve met the devil ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **Lancelot:** It’s John Constantine, he was probably born this eccentric

 **Trenchcoat:** I was in a punk band in my youth

 **Lancelot:** See

 **Lancelot:** Okay, let’s agree on inviting our friends to a party

 **Lancelot:** Ask whoever you want, we’ll make it wild, Legends style!

 **Lancelot:** Now, where will it be

 **notbarryallen:** star labs?

 **notbarryallen:** no house is big enough to fit so many people

 **rayofsunshine:** I agree.

 **grunt:** I can make fun of the flash

 **notbarryallen:** lol

 **notbarryallen:** plus you’ll get to meet the other nora, she’s great and very gay

 **MiniDarhk:** _she’s_ the other nora, good

 **Trenchcoat:** First I need to join your team and now you’re forcing me to do this

 **Lancelot:** Don’t you want to catch up with Oliver

 **Trenchcoat:** Not particularly

 **Trenchcoat:** Gary’s company would be enough

 **AgentGeek:** I’ll be there with you

 **notbarryallen:** aww

 **notbarryallen:** I texted cisco, let’s see what the team thinks

**gayforray: 🎃🍁🍬**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah i know i'm a little behind on the timeline, but i wrote this before halloween and didn't want to post 5 chapters at once lol


	43. i really love this season

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this takes place like three minutes after the last line. the chapter was too long, so i had to split it.
> 
> hope you like it!

**2018/10/29**

 

 **notbarryallen:** halloween at star labs is go 🎃

 **notbarryallen:** cisco says we can’t use our suits as costumes

 **gayforray:** :(

 **gayforray:** that leaves us with one option

 **gayforray:** @rayofsunshine are you moth or are you lamp

**notbarryallen: 😂**

**ZariIsTheBest:** what

 **ZariIsTheBest:** also great news 😊

 **gayforray:** it’s a meme

 **notbarryallen:** [ _image attached_ : moth&lamp.png]

 **ZariIsTheBest:** makes sense

 **rayofsunshine:** Are you serious?

 **gayforray:** yup

 **rayofsunshine:** Then I take lamp.

 **Lancelot:** Will you make it shine

 **rayofsunshine:** That’s actually a good idea!

 **MiniDarhk:** you’re not kidding about the costume are you

 **gayforray:** no, we’re doing it

 **gayforray:** Wally, tell Cisco to tell everyone this couple costume is taken

 **notbarryallen:** tell him yourself

 **gayforray:** rude

 **MissTimeBureau:** Sara, are we doing a couple costume?

 **Lancelot:** Do you want to?

 **MissTimeBureau:** I don’t know, maybe?

 **gayforray:** we’re all doing couple costumes, period

 **Trenchcoat:** Not me, mate

 **AgentGeek:** Come oooon

 **Trenchcoat:** Over my rotten corpse

 **MiniDarhk:** I can make that happen if it’s your wish

 **Trenchcoat:** I think I’ll stay a bit longer, dunno what you lot would do without my expert magic skills

 **rayofsunshine:** Period couple costumes!

 **gayforray:** baby we’re already doing moth and lamp

 **rayofsunshine:** I know, that was a suggestion for the others.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** do we really have to

 **MiniDarhk:** it’ll be fun, z

 **MiniDarhk:** I’ll be a demon and you can be an angel 😈😇

 **notbarryallen:** oh cool

 **Trenchcoat:** Fancy a bit of a roleplay, do ya?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** according to my religious beliefs, I can’t kill anyone, but I kinda want to right now

 **ZariIsTheBest:** and I do _not_ want to put on an angel costume

 **MiniDarhk:** but what else will match my demon costume

 **AgentGeek:** Beebo

 **gayforray:**?

 **gayforray:** oh like Malice and Beebo, I get it

 **ZariIsTheBest:** NO

 **rayofsunshine:** Come on, Z, it can’t be worse than our costume.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you bet it can

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I’m not dressing up as that furry monster

 **MiniDarhk:** beebo la-la-loves you

 **MiniDarhk:** you’re calling that a monster

 **Lancelot:** I’ve had enough of that for this year, thanks

 **ZariIsTheBest:** see

 **gayforray:** is it just me or was that a confession

 **Lancelot:** Yeah 👀

 **MiniDarhk:** excuse me, I was mocking beebo

 **gayforray:** Zari’s totally blushing

 **notbarryallen:** [ _image attached_ : blushingandpissed.jpeg]

 **gayforray:** I admit the bird was justified

 **Lancelot:** What are you all doing in the library?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** being bored

 **gayforray:** I was reading but Wally dragged me into a conversation about historical cars and it all went down from that point

 **rayofsunshine:** You do love talking about historical cars.

 **gayforray:** yeah

 **MiniDarhk:** if you’re so bored, come up with another idea for a costume

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I’d prefer none at all but I guess I can’t get away with that

 **Lancelot:** None at all, huh, Zari 😏

 **ZariIsTheBest:** not what I meant and you know it

 **MiniDarhk:** according to heywood you really can’t

 **gayforray:** that’s right

 **gayforray:** go as Malice and Beebo, entertain us

 **notbarryallen:** I’d like to see the others trying to figure out what it means

 **Lancelot:** Right, they have no idea what happened

 **rayofsunshine:** This feels a little unjust.

 **Trenchcoat:** Remember you unleashed monsters that don’t belong on this world together with Mallus

 **Lancelot:** We couldn’t have known that!

 **Lancelot:** Aves, any luck with our costume

 **MissTimeBureau:** FBI agents?

 **Lancelot:** You’d just put on your work pantsuit

 **gayforray:** Halloween costumes must be creative

 **Lancelot:** How about sexy doctor and nurse 👀

 **MissTimeBureau:** Don’t you have enough of that on missions?

 **Lancelot:** Never ;)

 **notbarryallen:** zombie doctor and nurse

 **grunt:** I want to be dracula

 **gayforray:** and here I thought Mick would be the hardest to convince to do this

 **ZariIsTheBest:** who are you taking with you, Mick 👀

 **grunt:** nobody, why should I

 **notbarryallen:** couple costumes?

 **AgentGeek:** Says a single guy

 **AgentGeek:** Sorry

 **notbarryallen:** I have no problem having a date, mind you

 **notbarryallen:** I’m still young and cool

 **AgentGeek:** I had no luck convincing John to dress up as Han Solo

 **gayforray:** and who would you be, Chewie

 **notbarryallen:** nice one

 **AgentGeek:** I’d be Leia, of course

 **Lancelot:** I do not want to see that

 **MissTimeBureau:** You’re not the only one.

 **rayofsunshine:** He can always dress up as Castiel, all he has to do is change a tie!

 **AgentGeek:** That’s amazing, thanks Ray!

 **AgentGeek:** And I can be Dean Winchester

 **ZariIsTheBest:** wow it’s been a while since I heard about supernatural

 **rayofsunshine:** I told you people do love the supernatural. This season is all about that!

 **MiniDarhk:** tv shows got on your mind, palmer

 **rayofsunshine:** I meant season, as in sports season?

 **gayforray:** baby, you know nothing about sports

 **rayofsunshine:** You got me there. Season of the year then?

 **notbarryallen:** so you ship destiel @AgentGeek

 **AgentGeek:** They’re in love!

 **MiniDarhk:** want some spoilers

 **AgentGeek:** NO

 **AgentGeek:** I mean thanks but I’ll wait for the real thing

 **Trenchcoat:** Did you say I’d just need to change my tie

 **AgentGeek:** For a blue one

 **Trenchcoat:** Who is this Castiel fellow

 **AgentGeek:** An angel who wears a trenchcoat

 **Trenchcoat:** I thought the name sounded familiar

 **Trenchcoat:** I’m not exactly a fan of those feathery pricks

 **gayforray:** really, we’ve never noticed

 **Trenchcoat:** Hilarious

 **gayforray:** Wally, what are you dressing up as anyway?

 **notbarryallen:** that’s a secret

 **ZariIsTheBest:** so you don’t know yet

 **notbarryallen:** I do know, just said it was a secret

 **rayofsunshine:** Here’s an idea for next year: we could dress up as our B99 characters!

 **Lancelot:** So you want to be Amy Santiago 👀

 **rayofsunshine:** So what if I do? There’s nothing wrong with that!

 **ZariIsTheBest:** no, it’s just funny

 **gayforray:** who else is mad there’s no Halloween episode this year

**notbarryallen: 😠**

**AgentGeek:** Not only there’s no Halloween episode, but there are no episodes at all

 **notbarryallen:** that’s what I’m angry about

 **rayofsunshine:** At least we have Doctor Who!

 **Lancelot:** And The Good Place

 **gayforray:** which reminds me

 **gayforray:** I can’t believe we missed an episode of DW because of an evil phoenix

 **ZariIsTheBest:** it was the spider episode, right

 **AgentGeek:** Yes

 **AgentGeek:** I hate spiders

 **grunt:** they’re gross fuckers

 **AgentGeek:** I hate all creepy crawly in general, they terrify me

 **ZariIsTheBest:** it’s also the episode where we meet Yaz’s family

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I really love this season

 **MiniDarhk:** because there’s a badass muslim girl who travels through time

 **ZariIsTheBest:** how do you know

 **gayforray:** ehm, it’s obvious

 **gayforray:** because that’s you

 **ZariIsTheBest:** yeah I admit it

 **rayofsunshine:** Do the companions stay for another season?

 **MiniDarhk:** no spoilers, that’s your rule, right

 **rayofsunshine:** Really? I don’t like this rule.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** we could be yaz and the doctor @MiniDarhk

 **notbarryallen:** wait will they be together

 **ZariIsTheBest:** no spoilers ;)

 **MiniDarhk:** I’m not dressing up as 13, I’d have to wear a wig

 **gayforray:** you two are Malice and Beebo, it’s been decided by the Waverider council

 **Lancelot:** We have no Waverider council, Nate

 **gayforray:** we do now

 **gayforray:** it’s me, Ray, and Gideon


	44. [interlude] halloween

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bit of an unusual interlude ;) enjoy!

**Aves <3**

**iMessage** **  
** **Tue, Oct 30, 2:12 PM**

 

So, Halloween’s tomorrow

Can’t this wait until the evening,  
when we’re actually together?

No, I need to talk about this now

Ok <3

Our reservation at the restaurant,  
could we use your time courier  
and go the next day?

I wouldn’t imagine it any other  
way after a party with the  
Legends.

Yeah, knowing us, it’s gonna be  
pretty wild ;)

So we’re going to go back to  
10/31 next evening, have dinner  
and return to our usual time.

Sounds about right

But I have another request

About my dad

Could we go back to last year’s  
Halloween? I really want to see  
him, and I wasn’t home then,  
so he wouldn’t even know

Before our dinner date

You know I’d do anything for  
you, Sara <3

It won’t even make that much  
of a mess in the timeline.

That much of a mess?

You know what I mean.

Yeah

You’re really ok with this?

Of course, Sara.

As long as you need.

God, I love you

I love you too.

It’s just, ever since I became  
the captain of the Waverider,  
I haven’t had many chances  
to go home and the last time  
I saw him was Christmas

I understand it, Sara. I don’t  
have real parents but I  
thought I did and my memories  
of having feelings for them once  
are real enough so I know how  
much you love your dad.

I’m sorry about what happened.

Thank you <3

You can’t imagine how much  
it hurt to lose both Laurel  
and then him

I really wish Diaz was dead  
after what he did

And not only to Dad but to  
Oliver and everyone else

They’re gonna get justice for  
them all soon, Sara.

Do you know that as the  
director of the Time Bureau  
or are you just trying to  
comfort me, Aves

That’s need-to-know.

But maybe it’s both ;)

I’ll let you get away with this  
one

I miss you

I miss you too.

This paperwork is so boring!

Wanna come over for a  
minute?

No one will know if you use  
the time courier

I’m tempted.

Good

I shouldn’t.

How much do you miss  
me?

We saw each other this morning.

Too long ago

You’re horrible.

I know ;)

I really need to finish this.

Now you’re the horrible,  
responsible Ava

I am the director of the Bureau,  
Lance.

But you have a time courier

You don’t mind using it for  
personal purposes tomorrow

That’s different.

I’ll come to the office then

You know how much I’d love  
to make out with you on my  
desk, but I can’t.

Says who *eyes emoji*

Paperwork.

I’ll make it up to you in the  
evening ;)

Fine, have it your way

I’m looking forward to it

;)

I’ll officially introduce you  
to Dad as my girlfriend if  
you’d like. You can come  
with me

I don’t want to intrude.

No, I want to do this. I want  
him to be happy. I want  
things to be normal at least  
for a while

Before everything goes to  
shit

If that makes sense

I know time travel is tricky  
but just

I get it, babe. I know this means  
a lot to you.

I’ll be happy to meet the famous  
Quentin Lance.

I’m sure he’ll like you since  
you work for a government  
organization and all that

Haha.

His approval would make me  
the happiest woman on Earth.  
Besides being in bed with you  
in our house.

And yet you won’t let me  
visit ;)

You know I love you <3

Love you too

Gotta go now, I think Mick  
did something with the food  
fabricator

I can smell burned metal  
and caramel

Oh God.

He won’t help me with this  
one…

My condolences.

Thanks

Delivered


	45. [interlude] star labs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PARTY!!!

‘I’m not going out in this.’ Beebo’s head was sadly dangling in Zari’s hand.

Nora snapped a picture. ‘Yes, you are.’

‘I’m not. It’s stupid. And I’m too hot in this.’

‘Yes, you are…’

Zari rolled her eyes at that. ‘Shut up.’

‘Is it more ridiculous than this?’ Nora pointed at her body, stuffed in a fabricated demon costume. Unlike Zari, she has abandoned all dignity and put her mask on.

‘Yeah.’

Nora extended her demon arm and wagged her demon fingers. ‘Give me the head.’

Slowly, with a sour look, Zari obliged.

‘I’m taking this. You’re coming with me; don’t make me use magic.’ It was kind of hard to take her seriously dressed in the costume. But Zari knew she was serious.

Her blue, furry hand grabbed Nora’s. ‘Fine…’

‘Sound more happy about it, will you?’

‘Never.’

 

* * *

 

One moment he was staring at a grey bare wall covered only with scratches. The next instant, his eyebrows shot up and his mouth was agape. He was staring into the faces of Felicity, Cisco, and Sara.

They were there. Right in front of him. In his cell. Wearing Halloween costumes.

Right. Portals were a thing now.

‘Oliver…’ his wife breathed. Her face was as shocked as his own. ‘It worked.’

‘Felicity, what—what is this?’

Cisco spoke before she took a breath. ‘What do you think, buddy, we’re busting you out of jail using this awesome Time Bureau tech,’ he pointed at the bracelet on his arm.

‘Don’t worry, we’ll get you back before they know anything,’ Sara added. She wore zombie make-up and a bloody nurse uniform. ‘Right now, let’s just have fun!’

Felicity stepped inside his empty cell and took his hand. ‘I brought you a costume,’ she said, holding a garment bag in her free hand. It probably matched her Disney princess dress.

 

* * *

 

John raised the empty red cup he’s pulled out of a column of twenty identical cups and scrunched up his nose. ‘Really? Going full-on American college party?’

Cisco gave him the side-eye. ‘This was all very last minute, thank you. Drink straight from the bottle if it bothers you that much.’

He dropped the cup onto the table behind him. ‘Thanks, mate, that’s a brilliant idea.’

Shaking his head, Cisco left. John looked at Caitlin, sipping cider next to the spot previously occupied by him. ‘What’s wrong with this guy?’

‘He still hasn’t gotten over Cynthia…’

As if John was supposed to know that was. He didn’t even know who Caitlin was, just that she looked very pale and sexy in her vampire costume. Or that she has had the same idea as Mick.

He swaggered off to find a bottle of gin, and maybe Gary, too.

 

* * *

 

‘I _really_ like your costumes, guys,’ Curtis, dressed as Doc Brown, said. They didn’t even notice he was there before he spoke. One would say it was hard to miss a tall, athletic, dark-skinned man with hair sticking in every direction, but the guy was _very_ silent. ‘It’s so funny, you know, seeing someone actually did it. Moth and Lamp. Hilarious.’

‘Yeah, I know, it was my idea,’ Nate winked.

Ray pointed at Curtis’ costume with a grin. ‘Yours is great too! I love _Back to the Future_.’ The lightbulb on his head flashed. ‘Uh-oh, something’s wrong. I knew it was a bad idea to use my suit to power this…’

Curtis cocked an eyebrow. ‘You used dwarf star to power a Halloween costume?’

‘It seemed like a good idea at the time. Sara asked me if I’ll make it shine, so I thought, why not?’

‘You could’ve used a solar battery or something,’ Curtis suggested. He took an awkward sip from his cup.

‘I have actually thought of that, but—’

Someone across the room caught Nate’s eye. There was Wally, laughing at something with a very attractive young man he didn’t know. Way too intimately. This was an interesting of events.

‘Let’s agree it’s a cool costume, and the flashing bulb is making it even cooler.’ Nate interrupted Ray’s ramble, patting his chest. ‘Please excuse me, I need to go and find out who’s that with Wally.’

Sara and Ava stood nearby, so he headed in their direction.

‘Hey, Sara.’ Nate bumped into her and almost got his arm broken as a result. ‘Jeez, relax, it’s just me.’

She let him go. ‘Nate, I’m sorry.’ Ava caught her shoulder, nonverbally asking if she was alright. ‘Are you alright?’ she asked Nate then.

‘Yeah, I’m made of steel, remember?’ he answered. ‘Anyway, do you know who’s Wally’s plus one over there?’ He subtly pointed at the pair with his head.

‘I was wondering about him too,’ she said and drank from her red cup.

‘You think he’s got a boyfriend?’ asked Ava, whispering.

Nate whispered back, ‘I don’t know. And I want to know.’

‘How much have you had?’ asked Sara.

Nate waved his hand vaguely in the air. ‘Just this and that. Let’s go.’

 

* * *

 

‘Bobbing for apples? Seriously? This is an adult party, not a party for twelve-year-olds.’

‘Okay, that’s fair, but,’ Felicity said, standing by the large bowl, ‘which of you has never done any of these games?’

Ten hands went up in the air.

‘See? Let’s do some apple-bobbing!’

 

* * *

 

Mick crept behind her slowly. It was easy—this girl was so volatile and out of this world with her thoughts. He leant over her, opened his fanged mouth and roared. ‘I’m gonna eat you!’

She jumped up and spilt her drink. Then she caught his throat in an imperceptibly fast move.

‘Great, another speedster,’ he grumbled. There were way too many of those in this damned city.

She let him go. ‘Dude, you scared me! You can’t go creeping at me like that!’

‘Whatever. It’s fun,’ he grinned mischievously.

‘Maybe a little, yeah. Schway costume, by the way. I love it.’ Nora grinned too. She was painted like a skeleton. ‘My name’s Nora.’

‘Mick,’ he said. He was already interested in the Flash and his wife; he moved to walk away.

‘Wait, you’re Mick Rory? _The_ Mick Rory? Heatwave?’

He paused. Took a sip of his beer. ‘Yeah, that’s me.’

‘Nice to meet you, but, uh, I need to talk to Cisco and Ralph over there.’

‘I don’t care. I like sleeping in coffins and drinking blood!’ he shouted before he shuffled off to terrify more people. Halloween was great.

 

* * *

 

Sara pinned her against the wall.

Ava reached for her neck and cheeks and tugged her closer. Their lips were a breath apart. Sara was the one to close the distance.

Sara’s breath smelt slightly of alcohol. Ava’s did too, probably. She didn’t care. Kissing Sara in a STAR Labs corridor was the best thing that could happen to her all night.

She mostly hated this kind of parties. Less so this particular one.

Sara’s hand slid down her body. Blame the drinks, but there was _electricity._

Ava pulled away. Breathless, she whispered, ‘Want to try and find an empty room?’

Sara looked at her with lust and love in her eyes. ‘Yes, please.’

 

* * *

 

‘Look look look look,’ Thea punched Felicity in her arm repeatedly. She was already pulling her mobile out. Where did her costume hide it was a mystery.

Caitlin snickered. ‘Oh my god.’

‘Yeah, this detinifely—definitely—won’t end well…’

Thea glanced at Felicity but didn’t stop filming. ‘Are you alright?’

‘Yeah. I’m perfectly alright, thank you, I just had a _liiiittle_ bit too much of that punch,’ she laughed.

Caitlin leant into Thea. ‘Who’s the guy next to Cisco, anyway?’

Felicity answered instead of her. She was even chattier than usually when she alcohol in her system. ‘He’s from the Time Bureau; I think he’s dating John Constantine? I don’t know how, though.’

‘Ladies. What’s going on?’

They all jumped in surprise. Felicity put a hand on her chest and breathed heavily before she could calm herself down. It was Mick. ‘Jesus, you freaked me out. Don’t do that.’

Thea, unperturbed, explained the situation. ‘Cisco and the Time Bureau guy are trying to do the floss. They suck at it. It’s hilarious.’ She was uploading the videos to her Instagram story, Felicity noticed.

‘Huh. Funny,’ he snorted, and before the women knew it, Dracula was holding a mobile as well.

Thea turned round, still filming, and captured him as well.

Then Gary’s legs wobbled and he ended up on the floor.

 

* * *

 

Sara heard at least two wolf-whistles when Ava and she reentered the room.

‘Someone’s had sex,’ someone noted, possibly Jax or Rene. She was too drunk on Ava to care.

‘Yup, definitely sex hair,’ Thea confirmed. This time she could see her, smirking at the two of them.

Sara rolled her eyes at the crowd. ‘Oh, shut up.’

 

* * *

 

‘One, two, three, down!’

Nate, Nora Darhk, and Ralph knocked back the third shot of tequila, that was definitely smuggled here behind the organisers’ back. Cisco and Roy were cheering for them, whooping and clapping.

Ralph smashed his shot glass onto the table first, then Nate.

‘Another!’ shouted Ralph. Cisco poured.

(Who cared this was a bad idea.)

 

* * *

 

‘PUT SOME SPOOKY MUSIC ON!’ Wally shouted from atop a table.

Barry, being the closest to the computers, responded with a ‘Sure, man, great idea!’

Whitney Houston started to play. Barry started tapping the screens furiously. ‘No, no, no, not what I wanted! Damn Cisco’s drink!’

It stopped. Then, Marilyn Manson echoed through the entire STAR Labs complex.

Wally pulled Patrick, his ghost boyfriend (?), onto the table. He out his hands up in excitement. ‘THAT’S THE SPIRIT!’

 

* * *

 

‘This is the best Halloween party ever!’ Felicity exclaimed. The middle of the room has become an impromptu dancefloor: bodies moved to the beats of a Hollywood Undead song, mashed against each other, cheered, snogged. Felicity was dancing with Caitlin, Dinah, and Iris.

Next to them were Sara and Ava, minding nothing but each other, not even the music at times.

‘I’m glad we did this,’ Dinah said, a smile on her face that hasn’t appeared in quite a while. ‘It’s nice to just have fun for once!’

Iris nudged Felicity. ‘And get drunk with all our friends!’

‘That too!’ she yelled. She squinted at something, or someone, a few metres away. ‘Oliver, baby, come here! Barry, you too! Dance with us!’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh. this chapter feels kinda weird to me. did you guys like it? cos i'm not sure i do...


	46. you're all lightweights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> surprise! two chapters in one day! it's for organisational reasons. 
> 
> i hope you like and enjoy this bonus ;) drunk post-party shenanigans ensue.

**2018/11/01**

 

 **ZariIsTheBest:** who’s sober enough to get me out of this ridiculous costume

 **gayforray:** not me

 **gayforray:** I cant eben get mysefl out of my cosrimw

 **gayforray:** costumr

 **gayforray:** costume

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you’re cute as a moth drunk on fermented flower juice

 **gayforray:** shut upp

 **rayofsunshine:** Well, that was fun.

 **Lancelot:** It was

 **Lancelot:** My bed is like water

 **Lancelot:** I don’t like this

 **gayforray:** the floot is water

 **gayforray:** lamp baby hold me

 **MissTimeBureau:** God, you’re all ridiculous.

 **notbarryallen:** that’s the turest thing someones ever saidx

 **Lancelot:** Guys turn on autocorrect this is a pain to read

 **gayforray:** why

 **gayforray:** no rayy don’t take mr cell

 **ZariIsTheBest:** “mr cell” 😂

 **gayforray:** There, all set. You can thank me later.

 **Lancelot:** Thanks Ray

 **gayforray:** you didn’t turn on capitals right baby

 **gayforray:** no all good

 **gayforray:** seriously get me out of this thing before I puke on it

 **Trenchcoat:** You’re all lightweights

 **AgentGeek:** John I’m sorry you have to put up with me

 **Trenchcoat:** You’re the biggest lightweight here, Gaz, but it’s alright, we’ve all been young once

 **Lancelot:** He throw up again

 **Trenchcoat:** Yeah

 **AgentGeek:** God it’s gross

 **grunt:** shoudln’t have drank so much then time pig

 **rayofsunshine:** *drunk

 **grunt:** [ _image attached_ : 20181031_223451.jpeg]

 **Lancelot:** Is that Gary?

 **gayforray:** and Cisco

 **notbarryallen:** doign the floss and failing and fallinh 😂

 **grunt:** yeah

 **MissTimeBureau:** I hope this doesn’t get to our personnel.

 **AgentGeek:** I’m so sorry

 **ZariIsTheBest:** it’s okay, pal, you were having fun

 **rayofsunshine:** Did you get out of your costume?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** [ _image attached_ : sadbeebo.jpeg]

 **Lancelot:** Can’t Nora help you

 **ZariIsTheBest:** [ _image attached_ : grumpydemon.jpeg]

 **gayforray:** guess that’s a no lol

 **gayforray:** I feel like swimming

 **gayforray:** like I’m swimming

 **MiniDarhk:** same

 **MiniDarhk:** my fcuking stomach fucking hutrs

 **notbarryallen:** I’m hungry

 **Lancelot:** How can you be hungry you ate all the food

 **notbarryallen:** spdeestre metabolisn

 **Lancelot:** Use autocorrect Wally

 **rayofsunshine:** Use punctuation, Sara.

 **Lancelot:** Give me a break

 **ZariIsTheBest:** guess I’ll just sleep in this then

 **ZariIsTheBest:** on the sofa

 **MiniDarhk:** do that

 **gayforray:** ray

 **rayofsunshine:** I’m lying right next to you.

 **gayforray:** who cares

 **gayforray:** cuddle me

 **gayforray:** I love you ray

 **rayofsunshine:** I love you too, Nate, but you should get some rest.

 **notbarryallen:** I’m stil hungry

 **grunt:** go adn get food

 **notbarryallen:** the alcohol is wearing of

 **notbarryallen:** honestyl this was the best hakkoween party ever

 **Lancelot:** Autocorrect, West

 **rayofsunshine:** Sara’s irritable today.

 **Lancelot:** Good observation skills Sherlock

 **MissTimeBureau:** Sometimes she is that way when she drinks.

 **Lancelot:** And when I have my period

 **gayforray:** remind me who won the best couple costume again

 **rayofsunshine:** Barry and Iris.

 **gayforray:** we should’ve won

 **notbarryallen:** I think so too

 **ZariIsTheBest:** yours was brilliant, though, Wally

 **notbarryallen:** thanks I know

 **notbarryallen:** that was my intention

 **gayforray:** you look way too familiar to that guy who played the guy you dressed up as

 **ZariIsTheBest:** very eloquent

 **gayforray:** shut up I’m swimming in the sea

 **AgentGeek:** It’s true

 **Lancelot:** Why didn’t you tell us you had a boyfriend Wally

 **notbarryallen:** surprise

 **ZariIsTheBest:** he wanted to be mysterious

 **Lancelot:** Simon and Bram were a cool costume idea

 **gayforray:** you were cute

 **notbarryallen:** my. intetnion.

 **MiniDarhk:** stop taljing the phone sound is too lpud

 **rayofsunshine:** Turn it off then, Nora.

 **MiniDarhk:** hoe are you not diyng

 **MiniDarhk:** how

 **Trenchcoat:** I wouldn’t have pegged you for a lightweight too, Darhk

 **MiniDarhk:** think I had ,any ppportuinities to drink wih mallus

 **ZariIsTheBest:** leave her alone, John

 **gayforray:** you’re cute too

 **ZariIsTheBest:** and you have no brain to mouth filter

 **gayforray:** I have nothing to be ashamed of

 **gayforray:** ray’s being an octopus again it’s really nice

 **gayforray:** really really nice

 **Trenchcoat:** Things are getting hard in there, eh?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Constantine… smh

 **gayforray:** yeah yeah they are

 **gayforray:** do something about it ray ;)

 **rayofsunshine:** That’s it, I’m taking his phone away.

 **Lancelot:** Have fun guys

 **notbarryallen:** good night

 **notbarryallen:** I made spaghetti who wants some

 **ZariIsTheBest:** give me some spaghetti

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I’m in heaven

 **ZariIsTheBest:** if I forget about the stupid costume for a while

 **grunt:** I want spagetti too

 **notbarryallen:** say please, mick

 **grunt:** she didn’t have to

 **notbarryallen:** she’s generally nicer than you

 **grunt:** screw you then, I can get my onw spaghetti

 **notbarryallen:** fine by me

 **notbarryallen:** who wants to see videos

 **ZariIsTheBest:** please

 **notbarryallen:** [ _video attached_ : girlsgang.mp4]

 **ZariIsTheBest:** who knew Caitlin and Felicity could party like this

 **Lancelot:** I did

 **MissTimeBureau:** Right now I’m praying they don’t find out we busted Oliver Queen out of level two for a few hours…

 **Lancelot:** Don’t be so uptight, Aves, nothing will happen

 **grunt:** amd if it will it’s gonna be fun

 **MissTimeBureau:** I think you and I have a different idea of what’s fun.

 **grunt:** I like fire, booze and kicking ass

 **notbarryallen:** and pretending to be a vampire

 **notbarryallen:** [ _video attached_ : draculamick.mp4]

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I saw that one 😂

 **ZariIsTheBest:** and I got spaghetti grease all over my screen

 **notbarryallen:** rip

 **ZariIsTheBest:** since it’s there anyway

 **ZariIsTheBest:** [ _video attached_ : reneandcurtis.mp4]

 **Lancelot:** Wait, _what_

 **notbarryallen:** might surprise you but I did see that coming at pride

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I knew the Rene kid was bi but still

 **Trenchcoat:** The power of alcohol

 **notbarryallen:** don’t worry you weren’t spared anything

 **notbarryallen:** [ _video attached_ : johnandgary_beerpong.mp4]

 **AgentGeek:** Did that happen

 **Lancelot:** Yeah, I think I remember Ralph challenging you to a round

 **ZariIsTheBest:** wasn’t it Cisco?

 **Lancelot:** No, definitely rubber guy

 **Lancelot:** My legs kinda feel like rubber right now but I need to pee

 **Lancelot:** Send more videos

 **notbarryallen:** yes captain

 **Lancelot:** I hate how you’re already sober

 **notbarryallen: 🤷🏾‍♂️**  I’m a lucky guy

 **ZariIsTheBest:** yes you are 😄

 **ZariIsTheBest:** [ _video attached_ : wallysbf.mp4]

 **notbarryallen:** nooo

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Sara’s orders

 **MissTimeBureau:** Nothing’s better than drunk dancing with your SO at a Halloween party.

 **Trenchcoat:** I beg to differ

 **notbarryallen:** he’s not my so

 **notbarryallen:** not yet

 **ZariIsTheBest:** how did you meet?

 **notbarryallen:** through Cisco

 **Lancelot:** Aww

 **notbarryallen:** [ _video attached_ : avalancedance.mp4]

 **ZariIsTheBest:** clever title

 **notbarryallen:** payback

 **ZariIsTheBest:** is it just the three of us now

 **Lancelot:** Suckers passed out

 **Lancelot:** Though I’m close

 **Lancelot:** I have one too

 **Lancelot:** [ _video attached_ : zariandnoraapplebobbing.mp4]

 **ZariIsTheBest:** YOU FILMED THAT

 **ZariIsTheBest:** WHY

 **Trenchcoat:** Is Sharpie tipsy

 **Lancelot:** Pretty much, why

 **Trenchcoat:** Walked into the kitchen and didn’t insult me once

 **ZariIsTheBest:** progress

 **Trenchcoat:** I just went to get Gary some water

 **Lancelot:** Progress ;)

 **notbarryallen:** we haven’t left cc have we

 **Lancelot:** I’m not in a condition to fly the ship any time soon so no

 **ZariIsTheBest:** how drunk were you that you don’t remember

 **notbarryallen:**?

 **notbarryallen:** he asked me to spend the night ;)

 **notbarryallen:** just left star labs

 **Lancelot:** To quote myself, have fun

 **notbarryallen:** thanks

 **notbarryallen:** I’m out

 **ZariIsTheBest:** @grunt @Trenchcoat @MissTimeBureau talk to us

 **AgentGeek:** Why can’t I talk to you

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you just need to get better, Gary

 **Trenchcoat:** Couldn’t agree more

 **Lancelot:** You guys have more videos

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you think John knows how to make one

 **Trenchcoat:** Ye of little faith

 **Trenchcoat:** But you’re actually right

 **Lancelot:** Some magician you are

 **Trenchcoat:** I’m not talking to you anymore

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I think I should bring Nora a bucket and call it a night too

 **grunt:** what time is it

 **ZariIsTheBest:** after two

 **grunt:** ok

 **Lancelot:** Ava just came back from the shower

 **Lancelot:** Good night

 **Trenchcoat:** have fun

 **Lancelot:** Don’t quote me

 **ZariIsTheBest:** it’s not like you have exclusive rights to that phrase…

 **Lancelot:** Isn’t it


	47. [interlude] quentin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okayy so i've just seen episode three and wow. that was so amazing. we've finally met charlie! the bench scene confirmed mick and ray are definitely bi and you can't tell me otherwise. and his hair, oh my god. and the zari-john conversations were so powerful. nate avoiding the waverider because of amaya is weird though. he was there for five months and suddenly he wants to go. bruh. no. look, we know you love her, but here's a suggestion: date ray and get over her. you'll have to now...
> 
> anyway. enjoy this little piece that might be a bit sad.

Knuckles hit the wooden door.

There was a malfunction sign on the doorbell. (Of course there was. When was something in this building ever fixed?) Sara no longer had a key.

This was more difficult than Sara thought. She held her breath.

Ava squeezed her other hand. Her touch was grounding, her hand warm. Sara glanced at her—gorgeous, charming, brilliant. She’d said she was more nervous than Sara, earlier at home, but Sara knew her dad will love her.

 _Her dad._ Sara heard shuffling on the other side of that door.

‘Just a sec!’ Quentin shouted.

‘Sara, relax, he’s your dad. He’ll be happy to see you,’ Ava said, reacting to the slight tremor in her hand. She leant into her and whispered, ‘and he can’t get suspicious. You told me to remind you, in case you decided to pull something stupid.’

‘I didn’t say anything about the stupid part.’

‘But I did,’ Ava gave her a half-smile. ‘Rules of time travel and all that.’

The door opened. Quentin stood there, wearing a checkered shirt, holding a plastic pumpkin half-full with sweets. It was Halloween. He thought they were trick-or-treaters.

‘Sara?’ there was a look of surprise across his face.

She tried not to shake. ‘Hey, Dad! Happy Halloween!’

He moved to embrace her. Ava let go of her hand. ‘Hey, baby, it’s so good to see you. I didn’t think you were coming,’ he said. She wasn’t. She was from the future. A future where he—

‘Well, I’m here.’ She pulled away, a little reluctantly. Then she turned to Ava. ‘Dad, this Ava Sharpe, my girlfriend. Hope you don’t mind…?’

Ava shook his hand. The sweets in his pumpkin—the one they’ve had since Laurel and Sara were little—rattled. ‘It’s nice to meet you, sir.’

‘Please, it’s Quentin,’ he said with a genuine smile. ‘Come in! I wasn’t expecting anyone but those kids greedy for candy, so forgive me for the mess. I think I have some leftover pizza too, it’s nothing fancy…’

They stepped inside the flat. Sara shut the door. ‘Cold pizza is great, Dad.’


	48. gary's always weird

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is still happening before episode three. enjoy <3

**2018/11/02**

 

 **ZariIsTheBest:** why exactly are Ray and Nate parading around the ship with shower caps

 **gayforray:** coconut oil

 **MiniDarhk:** say what now

 **rayofsunshine:** It helps keep our hair nice and shiny.

 **MissTimeBureau:** I’ve tried it too, thanks for the tip.

 **gayforray:** I didn’t actually give you a tip but I’m glad you find it useful 😉

 **notbarryallen:** since when do you use the wink emoji

 **gayforray:** excuse

 **notbarryallen:** ;)

 **gayforray:** 👉👉

 **ZariIsTheBest:** hey, Wally, you didn’t even say hi to us

 **ZariIsTheBest:** how was spending two nights with your bf 👀

 **notbarryallen:** and now you’re nosy

 **ZariIsTheBest:** what do you mean

 **gayforray:** when it doesn’t concern you

 **ZariIsTheBest:** shut up, both of you

 **notbarryallen:** it was great

 **notbarryallen:** beyond great

 **gayforray:** how many rounds

 **notbarryallen:** fuck off

 **MiniDarhk:** yes you did

 **notbarryallen:** yes we did

 **notbarryallen:** but also went out and shit okay

 **Lancelot:** I’m glad you’re having fun, Wally

 **ZariIsTheBest:** shame you’ve been spending less time here now though

 **notbarryallen:** you don’t let me play games with you anyway

 **ZariIsTheBest:** that’s irrelevant

 **rayofsunshine:** And how was your date, Sara?

 **Lancelot:** The restaurant was so posh, I wanted to die

 **MissTimeBureau:** Though it was nothing compared to the first date awkwardness.

 **Lancelot:** Yeah, it was _worse_

 **Lancelot:** But I loved it

 **Lancelot:** I seriously had a foodgasm

 **MissTimeBureau:** Your face was so adorable

 **Lancelot:** You want to embarrass me in front of everyone don’t you

 **gayforray:** we’re way past embarrassment, Sara

 **ZariIsTheBest:** yeah, no one here has any personal boundaries

 **MissTimeBureau:** I’ve noticed.

 **gayforray:** is that such a bad thing though

 **Trenchcoat:** It is sometimes

 **AgentGeek:** I love you guys

 **MiniDarhk:** you’re just being weird now

 **Lancelot:** Gary’s always weird

 **gayforray:** can confirm

 **ZariIsTheBest:** right, you work with him now

 **gayforray:** it’s actually hilarious during briefings

 **Lancelot:** What exactly do you do there?

 **gayforray:** well, mostly charm people into giving us what we want and doing what we want

 **notbarryallen:** sounds like a cool job

 **gayforray:** what’s to say, I’m a smooth and charming guy

 **ZariIsTheBest:** yet it took you 2 years to realize you had feelings for Ray

 **notbarryallen:** and do something about it

 **gayforray:** ~~I’m kidding I do paperwork and it’s boring af~~

 **gayforray:** that was mutual

 **rayofsunshine:** Very much so.

 **gayforray:** he’ll never say that but we were idiots

 **rayofsunshine:** I rarely say that, but I was indeed a colossal idiot.

 **Lancelot:** Wow

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Gary and John on the other hand

 **Trenchcoat:** What about us

 **Lancelot:** Fuck first talk later

 **gayforray:** John fucks everyone, it’s the relationship that came out of it that’s surprising

 **Trenchcoat:** Believe me, we’re on the same page here

 **ZariIsTheBest:** really suave, John

 **AgentGeek:** I mean, same

 **AgentGeek:** He’s just so awesome, I still can’t believe

 **AgentGeek:** I love him so much

 **MiniDarhk:** oh wow

 **notbarryallen:** sweet lol

 **Lancelot:** So how long have you and Mr Gorgeous Blond been seeing each other, anyway

 **gayforray:** 😂

 **notbarryallen:** about 2 months

 **gayforray:** what 😮

 **ZariIsTheBest:** seriously

 **MiniDarhk:** has the ily thing happened yet

 **notbarryallen:** not saying ;)

 **MissTimeBureau:** So that’s a yes, then.

 **notbarryallen:** how do you always know everything

 **Lancelot:** We’re the legends

 **ZariIsTheBest:** we’re good at knowing things

 **notbarryallen:** ok true

 **notbarryallen:** I’m actually surprised you haven’t found out

 **MissTimeBureau:** Who says we haven’t?

 **Lancelot:** Ava 👀

 **gayforray:** since I started working at the bureau I found out about a lot of things

 **gayforray:** they have files on _all of us_

 **ZariIsTheBest:** so Wally’s bf is file material

 **notbarryallen:** whoa, spoilers

 **AgentGeek:** Don’t you wanna know?

 **notbarryallen:** uhh no one should

 **gayforray:** Barry and Iris met their daughter before she was even born

 **rayofsunshine:** That’s a little different?

 **notbarryallen:** don’t tell me anything aight guys

 **rayofsunshine:** Will Nate and I stay together?

 **gayforray:** now I get you, Wally

 **rayofsunshine:** What, it’s a legitimate question.

 **rayofsunshine:** We’re time travellers, and we’ve had bad luck in relationships before.

 **gayforray:** babe, as much as I’d love to be with you forever, because you’re just amazing and beautiful and I love you, I don’t actually want to know what happens

 **gayforray:** timeline integrity and all that

 **rayofsunshine:** No, I perfectly get it. I’m, I’m sorry. I love you too.

 **gayforray:** <3

 **ZariIsTheBest:** wow this kinda got sad

 **MissTimeBureau:** I’m sorry I brought this up.

 **Lancelot:** You’re finally interacting with us properly ;)

 **MissTimeBureau:** I’m a little bored.

 **Lancelot:** PM me ;)

 **MiniDarhk:** that was a little too many winky emojis

 **Lancelot:** Excuse me, two aren’t _that_ many

 **ZariIsTheBest:** depends on the circumstances

 **MiniDarhk:** they are too many right now

 **ZariIsTheBest:** ;)

 **MiniDarhk:** screw you, z

 **gayforray:** wait, I’m confused

 **gayforray:** you’re still together, right

 **Trenchcoat:** Were they ever really together

 **notbarryallen:** look who else is engaging in gossip today

 **MiniDarhk:** yes we’re together

 **ZariIsTheBest:** very much so

 **Lancelot:** Playful teasing, I get it ;)

 **MiniDarhk:** stop now

 **Trenchcoat:** There’s so much relationship drama today

 **notbarryallen:** bitch what are you calling drama

 **Trenchcoat:** This

 **AgentGeek:** No drama between us

 **Trenchcoat:** Except in bed

 **Lancelot:** Ohh like _drama_ drama

 **gayforray:** I know we already know way too much about their sex life

 **gayforray:** but I’d still call it oversharing

 **ZariIsTheBest:** is reading this really worse than seeing you an Ray in the kitchen

 **rayofsunshine:** It’s been a week but I’m still embarrassed…

 **gayforray:** we are over embarrassment, Ray

 **Trenchcoat:** Does that mean a public show, eh?

 **gayforray:** I feel like I don’t say this enough

 **gayforray:** go to hell, Constantine

 **Trenchcoat:** Been there, done that

 **ZariIsTheBest:** don’t you all feel a little tired today? no? just me?

 **notbarryallen:** yeah it’s super weird right

 **gayforray:** you at least have a reason to be tired ;)

 **AgentGeek:** It must be the party

 **MiniDarhk:** you’re not still hungover, are you

 **AgentGeek:** My tummy is weird

 **Lancelot:** When you bring an abstainer into a party group…

 **rayofsunshine:** Where is Mick, anyway?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** holing up in his room?

 **notbarryallen:** alright he’s working in the evening so I’m coming back

 **rayofsunshine:** Where does he work?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I love how we all know who he’s talking about without mentioning the name

 **notbarryallen:** believe it or not, he works at jitters

 **MiniDarhk:** is there no other café in central city

 **gayforray:** accurate

 **notbarryallen:** no lol there’s a starbucks and shit

 **AgentGeek:** Did you ever think that “lol” kinda looks like a TIE fighter when written in lowercase

 **MiniDarhk:** what’s a tie fighter

 **gayforray:** literally no one thinks that, Gary

 **rayofsunshine:** But it actually does?

 **MiniDarhk:** what’s a tie fighter?

 **notbarryallen:** why does that question mark seem aggressive

 **MiniDarhk:** cause it is

 **AgentGeek:** It’s from Star Wars!

 **MiniDarhk:** right, of course

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I don’t blame you for thinking it has something to do with ties

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I did too before I met these nerds

 **gayforray:** now I have an image of a robot that fights living ties in my head, thanks

 **Trenchcoat:** Like those deathly rags from doctor who

 **gayforray:** oh you’re right

 **rayofsunshine:** Have you noticed Sara is now quiet too?

 **AgentGeek:** We all know what that means 👀

 **ZariIsTheBest:** don’t try to be us, Gary, it doesn’t work

 **ZariIsTheBest:** be the nerd we all know

 **notbarryallen:** I come aboard and the first thing I see is

 **notbarryallen:** [ _image attached_ : beautyprinces.jpeg]

 **rayofsunshine:** We’re exfoliating!

 **MiniDarhk:** facial mask, huh

 **gayforray:** it’s good for the complexion

 **notbarryallen:** like, I’m not judging you, it’s just funny

 **gayforray:** [ _image attached_ : tropical.jpeg]

 **gayforray:** look at Wally’s shirt, that’s also funny

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Hawaiian shirt in November?

 **notbarryallen:** it’s… not mine

 **Lancelot:** Obviously

 **Lancelot:** Can’t be Waverider made

 **notbarryallen:**?

 **Lancelot:** No offence, but it’s ugly

 **notbarryallen:** well thanks, mom

 **notbarryallen:** patrick is a traveler and a free soul like me

 **ZariIsTheBest:** 🌴

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you're wondering about patrick, let me just say, plot bunnies ;) wait for it


	49. WHAT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is something like my version of the team telling nate about charlie. and the things around episode three. i hope you like it!
> 
> and guys – i'm honestly overwhelmed by your responses to this fic. it's amazing. you're amazing. to be quite honest, this is my first fic that reached over 10k hits and i still can't believe it. i love you. i gave up on making tumblr edits for the sake of this, lol. and no regrets here ;)

**2018/11/05**

 

 **AgentGeek:** [ _image attached_ : plantgoo.jpeg]

 **gayforray:** when did you even manage to take that selfie

 **ZariIsTheBest:** when you weren’t looking, obviously

 **Lancelot:** You never told me, what _exactly_ happened?

 **gayforray:** Gary gave me a plant

 **notbarryallen:**?

 **notbarryallen:** so you’ve got a new bro now

 **ZariIsTheBest:** and it’s Gary?

 **gayforray:** told you working with him is hilarious

 **AgentGeek:** Yeah it is

 **gayforray:** @MissTimeBureau is Taco Monday a real thing, like, really

 **MissTimeBureau:** Don’t know who started the tradition but yeah, it is, why?

 **gayforray:** why, seriously?

 **gayforray:** it’s ridiculous

 **AgentGeek:** I love you

 **gayforray:** sure you do, buddy

 **gayforray:** what were you up to, anyway? Sara wanted to tell me something and then ran off

 **Lancelot:** Sorry

 **rayofsunshine:** We went to 1977 London and I got a tattoo!

 **gayforray:** WHAT

 **grunt:** he’s a punk now

 **ZariIsTheBest:** it’s a corgi with a Mohawk

 **gayforray:** WHAT

 **rayofsunshine:** As Mick said, I’m a punk now! I joined a band and stole a royal corgi!

 **grunt:** I’m proud of you haircut

 **gayforray:** not to repeat myself but _what_

 **MiniDarhk:** wait it’s gonna get better

 **MiniDarhk:** there was this trickster girl and john did a thing and she lo

 **MiniDarhk:** sorry that was zari

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Nora, don’t

 **Trenchcoat:** Yeah, I agree, it’s better if he sees for himself

 **AgentGeek:** Well, we went to the Pleistocene and magically solved a fugitive case

 **MissTimeBureau:** “Magically solved”? I didn’t read about any of that in your report.

 **AgentGeek:** Oops

 **notbarryallen:** and then you almost got eaten by a plant

 **gayforray:** it was a carnivorous plant

 **gayforray:** on legs

 **rayofsunshine:** That sounds like something straight out of Doctor Who.

 **gayforray:** who else is never getting over the pting thing

 **AgentGeek:** It was cute

 **ZariIsTheBest:** cute like the unicorn we sent to hell

 **AgentGeek:** This one wouldn’t eat us

 **gayforray:** no, just the universe around us

 **Lancelot:** Since when do plants have legs

 **gayforray:** ask Gary, he brought it from god knows where

 **AgentGeek:** I told you I was sorry, time bro

 **gayforray:** okay, don’t really call me that

 **AgentGeek:** But, we are time bros!

 **gayforray:** not here

 **MiniDarhk:** ray’s like your time husband so why not

 **AgentGeek:** Aww he’s blushing

 **rayofsunshine:** I am blushing too, just so you’d known.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I do know

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I still think your hair looks ridiculous like this, I’m not used to it

 **rayofsunshine:** Nate, tell her my hair’s awesome.

 **gayforray:** can’t if I haven’t actually seen it

 **rayofsunshine:** [ _image attached_ : selfie_28.jpeg]

 **notbarryallen:** this is your 28th selfie

 **rayofsunshine:** Yes.

 **gayforray:** I have actually seen it

 **gayforray:** bed hair

 **gayforray:** love it ;)

 **rayofsunshine:** It’s my punk hair.

 **Lancelot:** Way to go, Rayge

 **gayforray:** 👀

 **grunt:** his new nickname

 **grunt:** he earned it

 **gayforray:** did you now 🙃

 **rayofsunshine:** When are you coming back from work?

 **gayforray:** after I clean up this mess

 **rayofsunshine:** Well then, after you clean up that mess, I’ll show you who Rayge is.

 **gayforray:** 😊😜😏

 **gayforray:** @AgentGeek finish that third taco and come to help me, it was your mess after all

 **AgentGeek:** Uh, right away, Nate

 **Trenchcoat:** Did I not teach you not to mess around with suspicious plants, love

 **AgentGeek:** Yeah…

 **AgentGeek:** How was London? Must’ve been exciting for you

 **Trenchcoat:** Not really, I couldn’t even kick my old man in the bollocks

 **Lancelot:** Ah, so you’ve experienced the ball kick paradox

 **Trenchcoat:** That’s really a thing, innit

 **rayofsunshine:** Yeah.

 **Trenchcoat:** Bloody hell

 **AgentGeek:** Wait, you met your dad?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** and his mom

 **AgentGeek:** Omg, John, that’s great! What did you say?

 **Trenchcoat:** It was the opposite of great, love

 **AgentGeek:** Oh

 **AgentGeek:** Sorry?

 **Trenchcoat:** It’s been one hell of a day, alright, so just come here or something

 **ZariIsTheBest:** yeah I think he needs that

 **Trenchcoat:** You said you weren’t gonna talk about it

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you’re talking about it

 **AgentGeek:** I have to clean this mess first

 **gayforray:** now you understand my situation

 **MiniDarhk:** things aren’t looking very bright for you two

 **gayforray:** yeah thanks for the reminder

 **MissTimeBureau:** You know, we do employ cleaners.

 **AgentGeek:** So you’d… let this slide, boss

 **MissTimeBureau:** Wouldn’t be exactly fair when Sara and I are out having drinks.

 **gayforray:** she’s a bad influence on you ;)

 **MissTimeBureau:** Well, maybe we all need a bit of that sometimes.

 **Lancelot:** Real thanks, Nate

 **rayofsunshine:** Okay, but before you come on board… there’s something Nora and probably Sara wanted to tell you.

 **gayforray:** let me guess, something’s broken

 **MiniDarhk:** more like there’s a person here

 **gayforray:** so that’s the elephant everyone seems to be avoiding this entire time, great

 **Lancelot:** Yeah, well, it’s not what it looks like?

 **MiniDarhk:** there’s a trickster chick who looks like amaya

 **MiniDarhk:** it’s john’s fault

 **grunt:** I like her

 **gayforray:** WHAT

 **notbarryallen:** nate’s catchphrase of the day

 **Trenchcoat:** You can’t have a bloody shifter walking round changing faces, that’s worse than a dragon, I had to do it

 **ZariIsTheBest:** look, we get it, but you could’ve let her shift into her original face, this must be really hard for Nate

 **gayforray:** and you decided not to tell me

 **gayforray:** I think I need a moment to think

 **Lancelot:** You know, this is why I didn’t wanna tell him

 **rayofsunshine:** But he has the right to know, Sara. Besides, he’s dating me now, so it shouldn’t be that hard, right?

 **notbarryallen:** oh you have no idea

 **animalgirl:** Hi, guys.

 **Trenchcoat:** Speak of the devil

 **animalgirl:** What’s that about?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** never mind him, how are you?

 **animalgirl:** I have something to tell you.

 **animalgirl:** I’m getting married tomorrow.

 **gayforray:** oh, wow, that’s

 **gayforray:** congrats, Amaya!

 **animalgirl:** Thank you, Nathaniel. I thought you should know.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you’re going into it pretty fast

 **animalgirl:** What’s to say, it’s like he’s my spirit animal.

 **rayofsunshine:** I’m happy for you!

 **Lancelot:** Yeah, go get it, girl

 **ZariIsTheBest:** …I miss you

 **animalgirl:** I miss you too, guys, and all the adventures we’ve had.

 **animalgirl:** I haven’t got an opportunity to chat with you for a while, what’s going on?

 **notbarryallen:** nothing much, we’re still catching the magical fuckers

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Wally’s got a boyfriend and apparently it’s been two months

 **ZariIsTheBest:** my totem necklace was molten but Ray put it in a smart watch (guess I’m wearing that too now) together with this messaging app and some other stuff

 **MiniDarhk:** scroll up

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Nora 😒

 **MiniDarhk:** what

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you’re enjoying this

 **MiniDarhk:** yes

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Slytherin

 **MiniDarhk:** you’re a slytherin too

 **ZariIsTheBest:** so

 **MiniDarhk:** wanna get some pizza

 **ZariIsTheBest:** sure

 **rayofsunshine:** Slytherins aren’t evil! You shouldn’t be using it as an insult.

 **Lancelot:** Ray, that wasn’t really an insult

 **rayofsunshine:** Oh, I get it.

 **Lancelot:** Yeah

 **animalgirl:** I’m glad you’re all happy.

 **animalgirl:** But please excuse my turn of phrase right now and let me ask, what the fuck?

 **grunt:** I knew you had balls

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you mean..?

 **animalgirl:** Yes.

 **grunt:** it’s the english weasel’s fault

 **animalgirl:** How can someone look like me?

 **Trenchcoat:** Shapeshifters, love

 **rayofsunshine:** She saw a picture of us in a 1977 newspaper and turned into you so we wouldn’t send her to hell.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** and it totally worked

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I’m sorry, Amaya

 **animalgirl:** It is something of a shock, but I think I understand. It must be difficult for Nathaniel, though.

 **grunt:** you should hear her talk

 **grunt:** nothing like you

 **animalgirl:** I don’t know if that’s better or worse.

 **Lancelot:** I thought you didn’t like Brits, Mick 👀

 **grunt:** I don’t

 **rayofsunshine:** But she’s British.

 **animalgirl:** Is she now?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** yeah

 **animalgirl:** I guess she really isn’t me then.

 **gayforray:** ugh you’re right

 **gayforray:** I hate when you’re right

 **gayforray:** but I’m still a bit shaken

 **Lancelot:** At least you’re talking to us

 **gayforray:** I still need to process all this but I’m coming on the ship

 **rayofsunshine:** <3

 **ZariIsTheBest:** don’t add Charlie to the chat, Ray

 **rayofsunshine:** How did you know what I was going to ask about?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** psychic

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I know you want to give her a chance and so do I, but we can’t trust her just yet

 **rayofsunshine:** Got it.

 **rayofsunshine:** But do I have a yes for the future?

 **Lancelot:** Only if she stays, which I’m not saying is happening

 **Trenchcoat:** That’s not a good idea

 **rayofsunshine:** Sounds like you’re prejudiced against magical creatures, John.

 **Trenchcoat** **:** You can call it that but I’m just cautious, mate

 **animalgirl:** Anyway, it’s late here, so I should go to sleep. It’s my wedding day tomorrow, after all.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** good night, Amaya <3

 **rayofsunshine:** Send us a picture, will you?

 **animalgirl:** Sure.

 **Lancelot:** Enjoy the best day of your life, Amaya!

 **grunt:** and get real drunk

 **animalgirl:** That won’t happen, but thanks anyway :)

 **gayforray:** haven’t seen that smiley in a while

 **notbarryallen:** :) :) :) :) :) :)

 **gayforray:** stop

 **notbarryallen:** 8=====D

 **gayforray:** why

 **notbarryallen:** cause

 **gayforray:** I hate you

 **notbarryallen:** you love me, I’m your time bro

 **AgentGeek:** I’m his time bro!

 **rayofsunshine:** And I’m his time husband.

 **gayforray:** I love you but shut up now or I’ll have pizza with Z and Nora instead

 **notbarryallen:** you wouldn’t

 **ZariIsTheBest:** sorry but John’s here already

 **gayforray:** then we’ll fabricate more pizza

 **rayofsunshine:** I’ll make pizza for you.

 **gayforray:** you’re forgiven and I’m looking forward to it, Taco Monday didn’t exactly grow on me

 **MiniDarhk:** see? time husbands


	50. wanna hear a 2036 classic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it took me three attempts to write this. the first one was erased from existence when my flash drive broke and erased the whole fanfic folder (but nothing else – this happened for the second time in a month), and the second one vanished when i selected the entire text to copy and paste it here but clicked the buttons wrong and wrote a c instead. because grammarly doesn't allow you to undo changes. ugh. and i use grammarly. i know i'm an idiot for not hitting save before doing that, but oh well. luckily, that was right after i finished the second version, so i still remembered it and recreated the whole thing in 40 minutes. here's the result. good thing i made it before doctor who starts :D 
> 
> i originally wrote this chapter on thursday but couldn't post it on friday cos i was out all day (hence the two chapters the other day). i wanted to do so yesterday, but then i opened file explorer and found out about the flash drive. on top of that, i got ill again and just lay in bed all day, watching b99. only today found the energy to write again.
> 
> enjoy <3

**2018/11/08**

 

 **grunt:** who the fuck played that song

 **ZariIsTheBest:** that was fast

 **gayforray:** what song? what’s going on?

 **grunt:** hey mickey

 **grunt:** in my room

 **gayforray:** oH

 **Trenchcoat:** That’s for stealing the sandwiches I left in the fridge

 **grunt:** should’ve known it was you

 **Trenchcoat:** Serves you right, potato head

 **grunt:** you ain’t calling me potato head, english rat

 **Trenchcoat:** Is that so? I don’t see you stopping me

 **grunt:** how do you like it now

 **gayforray:** I can hear the song

 **notbarryallen:** lol this is old

 **notbarryallen:** who’s johnny, who’s johnny, oh no no no

 **Lancelot:** Did you just convince Gideon to blast the song across the whole ship, Mick

 **Trenchcoat:** Hilarious

 **grunt:** you started it

 **Trenchcoat:** Shouldn’t have stolen my sandwiches then

 **notbarryallen:** don’t worry be happy

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I’m not in the mood for this right now

 **MiniDarhk:** why

 **gayforray:** Wally, did you play it?

 **rayofsunshine:** Actually, that was me. I don’t like it when they fight.

 **Lancelot:** You make it sound like they’re married

 **MiniDarhk:** 😂

 **grunt:** hate the song

 **grunt:** let’s fire it up

 **Lancelot:** Wow

 **ZariIsTheBest:** this is really loud

 **grunt:** I LOVE IT LOUD

 **Trenchcoat:** I can be loud if you want to

 **Lancelot:** Children, calm down

 **gayforray:** Sara casually calling you children is such a mood

 **Lancelot:** I’m tired of their shit sometimes

 **gayforray:** obviously

 **gayforray:** how do you like this song

 **grunt:** not that again

 **rayofsunshine:** Ah, Waterloo.

 **gayforray:** brings back memories

 **notbarryallen:** yesss 80s music

 **rayofsunshine:** You weren’t even alive in the 80s, Wally.

 **notbarryallen:** so

 **ZariIsTheBest:** funny thing, you say “you children” and then join the song battle too

 **gayforray:** so it’s a real song battle now

 **Trenchcoat:** Challenge accepted

 **grunt:** joke’s on you, I love johnny rotten

 **grunt:** and I’d like to see this johnny rot too

 **notbarryallen:** sick burn

 **notbarryallen:** pun intended

 **Trenchcoat:** As much as I’d love to see anarchy in the UK again, it actually wasn’t me

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I don’t know this song

 **Trenchcoat:** It’s only the band of my youth

 **gayforray:** sex pistols?

 **Trenchcoat:** The best band in the whole bloody world

 **grunt:** who broke up after a year

 **Trenchcoat:** Your point, muppet?

 **rayofsunshine:** This song was on Charlie’s mixtape!

 **ZariIsTheBest:** wait

 **ZariIsTheBest:** if it wasn’t either of you, could it be…?

 **notbarryallen:** could Charlie convince gideon to listen to her

 **gayforray:** maybe it’s because, you know

 **grunt:** she looks like amaya

 **MiniDarhk:** duh

 **Lancelot:** I ordered Gideon not to listen to her

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Time for another change

 **notbarryallen:** I thought we only did old songs

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I’m from the 2040s, 2015 is old for me

 **MiniDarhk:** I second that

 **notbarryallen:** is it just me or is this one about us

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I played it for a reason

 **notbarryallen:** I love it

 **notbarryallen:** you will remember meeeee for centurieeeeeees

 **MiniDarhk:** wanna hear a 2036 classic

 **gayforray:** no

 **grunt:** don’t care for that

 **ZariIsTheBest:** are you thinking what I think you’re thinking

 **MiniDarhk:** depends, what do you think I’m thinking

 **notbarryallen:** wild

 **ZariIsTheBest:** did I guess right

 **MiniDarhk:** obviously

 **rayofsunshine:** Is this future music?

 **grunt:** I don’t like it

 **grunt:** there’s nothing better than the good old black sabbath

 **Trenchcoat:** I’d argue about that

 **gayforray:** you’d argue just about anything

 **Lancelot:** No arguing, that’s an order

 **grunt:** whatever, I’m gonna grab a beer

 **Trenchcoat:** If someone changes the song

 **Lancelot:** I only blocked Charlie’s access, you can change it yourself

 **notbarryallen:** mic drop

 **ZariIsTheBest:** not kpop again

 **notbarryallen:** yes kpop

 **gayforray:** I thought you said no new songs

 **notbarryallen:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **gayforray:** how do you do that

 **notbarryallen:** do what

 **gayforray:** the shrug emoji

 **notbarryallen:** wouldn’t you like to know

 **gayforray:** that’s literally what I’m asking

 **notbarryallen:** I google fast

 **rayofsunshine:** Can I play a song too?

 **MiniDarhk:** don’t play the darth vader theme

 **gayforray:** it’s called the imperial march

 **MiniDarhk:** and he played it

 **grunt:** this is awful

 **rayofsunshine:** Come on, Mick, this is Star Wars! It’s a classic!

 **grunt:** metallica’s classic

 **gayforray:** let’s agree both are good

 **grunt:** haircut’s gone soft again

 **rayofsunshine:** No, I haven’t. I have a tattoo now, I’m a badass.

 **MiniDarhk:** don’t use capitals and punctuation then

 **gayforray:** don’t tease his OCD

 **rayofsunshine:** I can do that

 **rayofsunshine:** No, I really can’t. I’m sorry.

 **gayforray:** it’s okay, baby, you’re still badass

 **rayofsunshine:** You think so?

 **gayforray:** sure

 **MiniDarhk:** no you’re a sunshine

 **Lancelot:** A badass sunshine

 **rayofsunshine:** That’s good, I’ll call myself that.

 **notbarryallen:** bro, don’t

 **rayofsunshine:** No, you’re right.

 **rayofsunshine:** But really, am I the first of the team to get an ink?

 **rayofsunshine:** That’s what cool people call tattoos.

 **MiniDarhk:** /gasp/ really

 **notbarryallen:** sara has two

 **Lancelot:** And don’t forget about John

 **rayofsunshine:** I did indeed forget about John.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** did you notice John’s quiet now

 **grunt:** good

 **rayofsunshine:** Sara, do you really have two? I never noticed.

 **Lancelot:** Yeah, wrist and foot

 **gayforray:** Wally also has one

 **notbarryallen:** yup

 **rayofsunshine:** Ah, right.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Don’t be disappointed, buddy

 **ZariIsTheBest:** [ _image attached_ : sadsandwiches.jpeg]

 **ZariIsTheBest:** look who’s finally gotten over the sandwich thing and made a new one

 **MiniDarhk:** when you’re in the kitchen, can you bring me a glass of juice

 **ZariIsTheBest:** mango?

 **MiniDarhk:** obviously

 **ZariIsTheBest:** 👍

 **MiniDarhk:** <3

 **grunt:** don’t put it in the fridge if you don’t want me to eat it

 **Lancelot:** Here’s a suggestion: label your stuff

 **grunt:** what is this, an office

 **Lancelot:** No, but it technically is our workplace

 **gayforray:** not mine

 **ZariIsTheBest:** how many of your puddings has Mick eaten

 **gayforray:** two

 **notbarryallen:** see

 **gayforray:** whatever

 **notbarryallen:** juST lAbEl yOuR sTuFf nATe

 **gayforray:** doN’t uSe ThAt oN mE

 **gayforray:** fuck it’s hard to type like this

 **notbarryallen:** not when you’re a speedster

 **notbarryallen:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the music battle was [LadyErin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyErin)'s idea. she started talking about the mickey song and it all went down from there :D 
> 
> in case you didn't deduce it, the song they played were "hey mickey" by toni basil, "who's johnny" by el debarge, "don't worry be happy" by bobby mcferrin, "i love it loud" by ac/dc, "waterloo" by abba, "anarchy in the uk" by sex pistols, "centuries" by fall out boy, an unknown song from 2036, "mic drop" by bts, and the imperial march.
> 
> if you guys have some topics you'd like to see here, hit me! comment or send me a message on the doctormissy tumblr.


	51. we all blame gary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writing a sickfic when you're sick is kind of a must ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ enjoy!
> 
> i also found this quiz: [which b99 and lot characters are you a combo of?](https://www.buzzfeed.com/sophie43/which-brooklyn-nine-nine-and-legends-of-tomorro-3jego) take it; i got holt and gideon, lol.

**2018/11/10**

 

 **gayforray:** good news everyone

 **gayforray:** there’s a cold epidemic at the time bureau and I caught it

 **MiniDarhk:** how is that good news

 **ZariIsTheBest:** sarcasm, Nora

 **gayforray:** 👍

 **MissTimeBureau:** Gary’s gonna be so dead when he comes back to work.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Ava used a colloquialism, what’s going on

 **MissTimeBureau:** Gary’s going on.

 **AgentGeek:** I’m so sorry, boss

 **MissTimeBureau:** Sorry isn’t gonna fix it.

 **rayofsunshine:** You can try ginger tea with lemons and a warm scarf!

 **notbarryallen:** or pills like a normal person

 **rayofsunshine:** Excuse me, alternative medicine works.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I’m surprised to hear that from you

 **rayofsunshine:** Just because I’m a scientist doesn’t mean I abhor alternative methods when it comes to treating a cold.

 **gayforray:** give me some of that, Ray-Ray

 **rayofsunshine:** Of course! Do you want honey?

 **gayforray:** aww you called me honey

 **gayforray:** do I want what

 **rayofsunshine:** No, I meant if you want honey in your tea.

 **MiniDarhk:** 😂

 **gayforray:** 😂 okay honey

 **gayforray:** yeah I do

 **AgentGeek:** You sound really tired, Nate

 **gayforray:** thanks, Gary

 **grunt:** if you give me a cold I’ll kill you

 **notbarryallen:** omg fitting

 **Lancelot:** I thought you liked cold ;)

 **grunt:** I like fire

 **gayforray:** you like it hot n’ cold

 **MiniDarhk:** 🔥

 **notbarryallen:** anyone remember the katy perry song

 **ZariIsTheBest:** no more song battles, Wally

 **grunt:** don’t know that song

 **notbarryallen:** listen to it 👌🏾

 **MiniDarhk:** don’t do it out loud

 **grunt:** it’s shit

 **notbarryallen:** shit but classic

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Nate

 **gayforray:** 👀

 **ZariIsTheBest:** maybe you should stay off the ship with your cold

 **Trenchcoat:** Too late, Gary’s here

 **MiniDarhk:** fuck

 **grunt:** hope trenchcoat gets the cold

 **Trenchcoat:** I think you’ll be pleased

 **grunt:** aha

 **grunt:** stay away from me

 **Trenchcoat:** Gladly

 **Lancelot:** Is there anyone who’s not sick

 **notbarryallen:** are you?

 **Lancelot:** Not yet but Aves is and I know it’s coming ughhhh

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I’ve always had a good immunity

 **MiniDarhk:** I’ve never had a cold

 **MiniDarhk:** but don’t wanna start now

 **notbarryallen:** I’m jealous y’all

 **Trenchcoat:** There’s a illness-repelling spell if someone wants to give it a go, but I’m warning ya, it’s bloody disgusting

 **gayforray:** no thanks, I’ll take my chances with this cold

 **Lancelot:** Yeah

 **MiniDarhk:** did you try it

 **Trenchcoat:** Didn’t dare to

 **ZariIsTheBest:** so Gary gave you his cold, huh

 **Trenchcoat:** It’s what generally happens when you have an active sex life, love

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I can imagine that

 **ZariIsTheBest:** still gross

 **AgentGeek:** At least we can be in bed all day and not worry about anything when we both have it

 **gayforray:** I like your spirit

 **rayofsunshine:** We’re not doing that, Nate. I do not want to catch that cold from you.

 **gayforray:** not fair

 **rayofsunshine:** Your tea is ready!

 **gayforray:** <3

 **gayforray:** any chance you have sore throat candy

 **MissTimeBureau:** It’s not very healthy to eat candy for a sore throat, Nate. You should use real medicine.

 **AgentGeek:** Mints help, boss

 **MissTimeBureau:** I know they help, but it’s not healthy.

 **gayforray:** my steel teeth are beyond that

 **gayforray:** I’m portaling on board

 **notbarryallen:** great I’ll hide

 **ZariIsTheBest:** or run to your boyfriend

 **notbarryallen:** I could probably surprise him at work 😄

 **Lancelot:** You should do that if you want to avoid a runny nose

 **notbarryallen:** you’re totally right

 **gayforray:** does he even know you’re a meta?

 **notbarryallen:** yeah

 **ZariIsTheBest:** really?

 **notbarryallen:** we actually met on a case

 **gayforray:** like a superhero case?

 **notbarryallen:** 👀

 **Lancelot:** Is your boyfriend a superhero, Wally

 **notbarryallen:** hey you’re nosy again

 **MiniDarhk:** when you won’t say anything

 **notbarryallen:** excuse me, I don’t kiss and tell

 **gayforray:** you can tell me, we’re bros

 **AgentGeek:** You and I are bros too!

 **gayforray:** you gave me a cold, Gary, I’m starting to reconsider our relationship

 **AgentGeek:** Oh no, please keep being my bro

 **gayforray:** you have John and cute taco girl

 **AgentGeek:** He’s my boyfriend, that’s different. And she doesn’t even remember me

 **MissTimeBureau:** Tell me you don’t talk to the taco delivery girl.

 **AgentGeek:** Uh, I can’t?

 **gayforray:** shh but he told her we’re called time bureau

 **AgentGeek:** You promised not to say that!

 **Lancelot:** What’s going on

 **gayforray:** uh, nothing, captain

 **gayforray:** just Gary revealing top secret information to Mona Lisa without the Lisa

 **Lancelot:** Ahh, cute taco girl

 **AgentGeek:** You know her too?

 **Lancelot:** Never miss Taco Monday with Ava

 **Lancelot:** Or Pizza Friday

 **Lancelot:** Which is why I’m doomed to go through this cold

 **MissTimeBureau:** I’m really sorry, Sara. I told you not to come this time.

 **Lancelot:** We all blame Gary

 **AgentGeek:** Why is everything always on me

 **ZariIsTheBest:** because you’re a clumsy nerd

 **Trenchcoat:** Wanna know what’s on him right now

 **AgentGeek:** John

 **Trenchcoat:** ;)

 **gayforray:** Rayyy

 **rayofsunshine:** No.

 **gayforray:** you can try John’s spell

 **rayofsunshine:** Nate, I’m not having sex with you when you’re sick.

 **notbarryallen:** poor baby

 **MiniDarhk:** sympathies lol

 **gayforray:** thanks

 **gayforray:** you never answered my question

 **notbarryallen:** retired superhero

 **gayforray:** @MissTimeBureau you have files on us and I’m sensing he’s file material

 **gayforray:** can you tell me who he really is cause I don’t know any superhero named Patrick

 **notbarryallen:** _spoilers_ , man, not cool

 **MissTimeBureau:** No, I really can’t tell you.

 **gayforray:** I did try

 **notbarryallen:** you are onto something, nate

 **gayforray:** I’ll win this game one day

 **gayforray:** Ray, can we at least watch a movie

 **rayofsunshine:** That still involves us being in one bed together.

 **MiniDarhk:** it doesn’t when you sit on the floor

 **rayofsunshine:** I don’t want to sit on the floor, Nora.

 **AgentGeek:** Did you all forget it’s Doctor Who night???

 **ZariIsTheBest:** today’s my favorite episode

 **gayforray:** omg, you’re right

 **Lancelot:** Guess you’re sitting on the floor, Ray

 **rayofsunshine:** Well, it seems like I have no other choice but to accept that I’ll have this cold and watch with you guys.

 **Lancelot:** Even better, Ray, take one for the team

 **notbarryallen:** I’m out

 **notbarryallen:** I can watch it later

 **gayforray:** don’t break the party, man

 **notbarryallen:** z and sara’s idea sorry

 **ZariIsTheBest:** enjoy your date

 **MiniDarhk:** I’m calling the dibs on the bed

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you always take the bed

 **MiniDarhk:** sit on my lap if you want, but that’s how it is

 **ZariIsTheBest:** alright then

 **Trenchcoat:** Have a foursome on that bed for all I care, just don’t kick my head again

 **gayforray:** Ray was tickling me the last time

 **rayofsunshine:** Sorry, John.

 **rayofsunshine:** Nate wasn’t paying attention.

 **gayforray:** so you tickled me into paying even less attention, gotcha

 **ZariIsTheBest:** are you not gonna comment on the foursome thing

 **gayforray:** it’s John, what do you want

 **MiniDarhk:** I’d go for it

 **ZariIsTheBest:** what

 **MiniDarhk:** with you and palmer and heywood, I’d go for it

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Nora???

 **gayforray:** /spills tea on bed/

 **MiniDarhk:** why are you all acting like that’s such a shock

 **grunt:** I’d be into that too

 **Lancelot:** Let’s just all sleep together like in Sense8, why not

 **notbarryallen:** and I’ve just left the ship

 **gayforray:** you know sense8?

 **Trenchcoat:** Dunno what that is but I’d join you, never had a tensome before

 **MissTimeBureau:** That’s not even a word.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** that’s the least of your concerns, okay

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I’m officially done with you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the entire legends team is the world biggest poly ship, istg


	52. who would you do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the avalance fluff in this episode. i just can't. aaaaaaaaaaaa. john and ray were priceless together and i now low-key ship them. and nora not being an evil witch like everyone thinks but chilling at a renaissance fair? eternal mood.
> 
> in the last chapter, i coincidentally wrote a good reason for nate not being in the episode without knowing he wouldn't be there – flu. ain't that actual magic XD
> 
> enjoy!

**2018/11/13**

 

 **rayofsunshine:** John’s magical cold cure really paid off, I got to do actual magic! And save children!

 **gayforray:** I’m conflicted between saying fuck off and fuck me

 **notbarryallen:** still down with flu?

 **gayforray:** yeah

 **gayforray:** I can’t even breathe properly and you go on a cool 90s adventure, not cool

 **notbarryallen:** I didn’t either

 **gayforray:** cause you’re with your boyfriends

 **gayforray:** I meant boyfriend, singular

 **Lancelot:** Yeah I was gonna send an eyes emoji

 **gayforray:** @AgentGeek why us

 **AgentGeek:** Why us what

 **ZariIsTheBest:** have to stay in sick

 **Trenchcoat:** Are you actually together

 **AgentGeek:** Uh, yeah, in my apartment

 **gayforray:** don’t ask

 **Lancelot:** Someone’s very alive for being nearly dead

 **MiniDarhk:** applaud me

 **ZariIsTheBest:** 👏💜

 **MiniDarhk:** why purple heart

 **ZariIsTheBest:** it’s a witch color?

 **ZariIsTheBest:** no?

 **MiniDarhk:** okay I do love purple

 **Trenchcoat:** I love fags and alcohol

 **Trenchcoat:** Sara, have mercy on me

 **ZariIsTheBest:** snag some off Mick

 **grunt:** I’m not giving trenchcoat my alcohol

 **ZariIsTheBest:** or you can just ask Charlie

 **gayforray:** guys what’s going on with her???

 **ZariIsTheBest:** long story short, Mick let her go and she didn’t run

 **gayforray:** so she’s on board? with you?

 **MiniDarhk:** you jealous

 **rayofsunshine:** If anyone, I should be jealous.

 **rayofsunshine:** But I’m not, because I like to give everyone a second chance, and I think she can really help us with our magical fugitives.

 **Lancelot:** Just say magical fuckers

 **gayforray:** remember when he called them mythteries

 **Lancelot:** That’s unforgettable

 **notbarryallen:** does anyone else see a similarity between nora and charlie

 **MiniDarhk:** I’m a witch, sure, compare me to her

 **rayofsunshine:** I can see some similarities, actually.

 **grunt:** you don’t get along with z

 **MiniDarhk:** I’m dating her

 **grunt:** but you fight a lot

 **Trenchcoat:** Ever heard of banter, dummy

 **ZariIsTheBest:** ^^

 **grunt:** punk amaya still doesn’t

 **gayforray:** doesn’t what

 **ZariIsTheBest:** yeah, that’s a work in progress

 **gayforray:** oh, like doesn’t get along with her

 **gayforray:** sorry, I’m kinda off my head because of the flu

 **rayofsunshine:** I’m so sorry about that, Nate.

 **gayforray:** I miss you

 **rayofsunshine:** I miss you too.

 **Trenchcoat:** Go ahead and give us all diabetes with your sweetness

 **MiniDarhk:** I wouldn’t mind

 **notbarryallen:** nora is a mood

 **Lancelot:** A few days ago you wanted to have a tensome with us and now you mind

 **Trenchcoat:** A few days ago I didn’t have to spend all my time with Ray

 **ZariIsTheBest:** seriously, you’re bringing that up again

 **rayofsunshine:** Come on, I know you enjoyed it.

 **Lancelot:** John is actually good with kids, thanks for coming to my TED talk

 **notbarryallen:** really

 **rayofsunshine:** He made them spill all the secrets within five minutes.

 **Lancelot:** And we had to become tweens for a day

 **MissTimeBureau:** You were an adorable 12-year-old, Sara.

 **Lancelot:** You too, Aves <3

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I’m still mad I didn’t get to see that

 **grunt:** at least you had donuts

 **notbarryallen:** zari + donuts is the true otp here

 **MiniDarhk:** lol yeah

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I kinda want more

 **MissTimeBureau:** And I don’t want to do missions with you anymore.

 **Trenchcoat:** Good

 **Lancelot:** You have to admit we had fun when we played truth or dare

 **MissTimeBureau:** Well, I _am_ glad for the new childhood memories.

 **Lancelot:** <3

 **Trenchcoat:** One thing though, Ray, you’ve got to watch a horror film

 **rayofsunshine:** No, I hate scary movies.

 **gayforray:** I tried to make him watch Halloween with me on Halloween

 **gayforray:** didn’t end up well

 **MiniDarhk:** let’s do a horror movie marathon

 **grunt:** dracula first

 **notbarryallen:** the nun 👀

 **Lancelot:** I’m in

 **ZariIsTheBest:** we gotta do the scary movie series

**notbarryallen: 👍🏾**

**gayforray:** okay, after I come back on the ship, you’re not doing this without me

 **Trenchcoat:** No one else would convince Palmer to watch otherwise, I’m afraid

 **Lancelot:** True

 **rayofsunshine:** I am not doing this. Seeing it in real life was enough.

 **gayforray:** but you did enjoy the magic, right

 **rayofsunshine:** Well, yeah.

 **rayofsunshine:** Magical detectives!

 **gayforray:** I want to see you do magic

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Gary’s an influence on you

 **gayforray:** how so

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you’re like him at the beginning of his relationship with John now

 **gayforray:** I’m not

 **AgentGeek:** You are

 **Trenchcoat:** A lot of people have a magic kink, I’ve discovered

 **gayforray:** 😊😅

 **MiniDarhk:** I want to see ray do magic

 **gayforray:** et tu, Nora 😏

 **notbarryallen:** today’s mood: everyone is lowkey in love with ray

 

 **MiniDarhk** _changed the group’s name to_ **everyone is lowkey in love with ray**

 **ZariIsTheBest** _changed the group’s name to_ **Ray is low-key in love with everyone**

 **gayforray** _changed the group’s name to_ **everyone is gayforray ;)**

 

 **rayofsunshine:** Guys…

 **MiniDarhk:** ha he’s speechless

 **notbarryallen:** nate 👏🏾

 **Jaxon:** omg interesting development

 **Jaxon:** still reading this for fun

 **Lancelot:** I’m glad you’re having fun on our account ;)

 

 **Lancelot** _changed the group’s name to_ **World’s Biggest Poly SHIP**

 

 **MiniDarhk:** even better

 **Jaxon:** this is rly making me miss u

 **notbarryallen:** come back then

 **gayforray:** says you

 **notbarryallen:** sorry for dating someone off the ship

 **MiniDarhk:** _off the ship_ 👏

 **gayforray:** Wally

 **gayforray:** I figured it out

 **notbarryallen:** ok hit me

 **gayforray:** I’ve never heard of a superhero named Patrick because there isn’t a superhero named Patrick… on this Earth

 **notbarryallen:** gasp

 **gayforray:** amirite

 **notbarryallen:** yup

 **Lancelot:** Lucky guy, always dating someone from a different Earth

 **ZariIsTheBest:** how do you even do that

 **notbarryallen:** idk man

 **notbarryallen:** he’s from earth 18 and his name here is different, is all I’m telling you

 **Jaxon:** i know who he is here

 **ZariIsTheBest:** 👀

 **gayforray:** 👀

 **Lancelot:** 👀

 **Jaxon:** i swore to wally i wouldn’t tell 😛

 **MiniDarhk:** so, poly ships

 **MiniDarhk:** who would you do

 **MiniDarhk:** zari, ray, nate, lowkey constantine

 **ZariIsTheBest:** NORA

 **MiniDarhk:** we all thought that

 **Trenchcoat:** Besides Gary and Sara? Probably Ray and Nora Darhk

 **Lancelot:** Z and Nate

 **gayforray:** Ray, I love you

 **gayforray:** but Mick, Sara, Nora, and Gary

 **AgentGeek:** aldnflwngfd

 **AgentGeek:** Nate and Mona and boss and Sara and Ray too I guess

 **MissTimeBureau:** Ugh.

 **MissTimeBureau:** This is stupid.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** agreed

 **Lancelot:** Babe, it’s not like we’re gonna do it, it’s just a game

 **MissTimeBureau:** I want no one but you.

 **Lancelot:** Aww I feel so special now

 **MissTimeBureau:** <3

 **grunt:** pretty, haircut, amaya, punk amaya

 **MiniDarhk:** john and you should fuck, maybe you’d stop arguing

 **Trenchcoat:** No

 **grunt:** never

 **notbarryallen:** I feel so left out right now

 **Lancelot:** Enjoy being young

 **Jaxon:** id do you

 **notbarryallen:** thanks

 **Jaxon:** also zari and nate

 **notbarryallen:** likewise

 **MiniDarhk:** zari and ray haven’t said anything yet 👀

 **ZariIsTheBest:** honey I’m ace

 **MiniDarhk:** yeah, but in theory

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Amaya, but she’s not here

 **MiniDarhk:** you broke my heart

 **ZariIsTheBest:** and you too

 **gayforray:** @rayofsunshine you can’t avoid this

 **rayofsunshine:** I’d rather if I did.

 **notbarryallen:** you can’t

 **rayofsunshine:** If I must…

 **rayofsunshine:** I’d sleep with Nora, John and Mick.

 **Trenchcoat:** You really do have a thing for dark souls, don’t you, sunshine

 **grunt:** you totally can, just saying

 **rayofsunshine:** I’m in a relationship, thank you very much.

 **MiniDarhk:** doesn’t mean we can’t have fun

 **ZariIsTheBest:** ahem

 **MiniDarhk:** within limits

 **MiniDarhk:** ray, nate and I are a match ;)

 **notbarryallen:** this escalated quickly

 **Jaxon:** so quickly

 

 **Gideon** _joined_ **World’s Biggest Poly SHIP**

 

 **Gideon:** I know enough about each of you to say that if I had an actual human form, I would not sleep with any of you.

 **Lancelot:** Gideon??!?

 **grunt:** rude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this started innocently but then i took a break to read the legends of tomorrow tag and this came out of it. no regrets here ;)
> 
> i blame this episode for making me even more of a legends multishipper


	53. [interlude] flu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i kinda wanted to post this yesterday as well but then i decided against it, to follow my one chapter per day system. it's short, but enjoy :)

‘Did we just confess to wanting to sleep with each other despite being in functional relationships with men we love?’

Gary slowly turned his head to Nate and equally slowly raised an eyebrow. He sniffed.

Nate put his mobile on the Beebo-patterned blanket covering his legs. ‘I don’t know, did we?’

‘Um, kinda?’ he said. ‘This is awkward.’

Nate coughed. Then he said, ‘Point for you, bro.’ Gary opened his mouth to say something, but Nate cut him off before a word escaped him. ‘We’re not actually doing it.’

‘Yeah, I mean, I didn’t actually hope for that or anything.’ There was a sneeze, and then Nate sneezed too. ‘Ow, that hurt,’ Gary pointed out.

Nate checked his mobile for any new texts. There was only one: from Gideon. Huh.

Gary shifted on the bed. He was trying to reach the remote control for the TV. After he almost spilt his tea and knocked over a lamp, he asked, ‘Another episode?’

They were watching Forever. In bed together, under Beebo blankets, because that’s absolutely what colleagues do when they both catch the flu and don’t want to pass it on to their boyfriends (again). ‘Hit it, Gary. And pass me that tea, thanks.’

‘Sure.’ He pressed play and passed the thermos to Nate. ‘This show is so good! And Henry is definitely bi.’

Nate nodded in agreement. ‘Obviously.’

Gary looked at him with the same anticipation again—but this time, he was smiling. ‘Bi club!’

Nate sipped at his tea and when Gary didn’t give up, he high-fived him. It hurt, because his entire body hurt, and he felt like he was going to die, which was something he considered impossible after being injected with the steel serum, but oh well, here we are.

‘Too much effort,’ he groaned.

‘Yeah. It hurts more than having my nipple bit off by a unicorn.’

‘Please, stop talking about the nipple, Gary.’ Nate rolled his eyes at him and focused on the show instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just like these two, i have the flu, and saying it sucks is an understatement.
> 
> and if you've ever wondered: yes, i'm a member of bi club, just like almost everyone on this show (and that's a fact ok), and i'm proud of it.


	54. [interlude] mobile phone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what was that about following the system? never mind. lol. two short interludes are basically the same as one regular chapter. right?

‘What the hell is this?’ Charlie raised her eyebrow at the small, rectangular object Ray just gave her.

Smiling, as if he was glad she asked, he started explaining, ‘This is a mobile phone—like a regular telephone, but mobile! You can take it everywhere you go and communicate with people even through time—’

She shoved it back into his hand. ‘I don’t need your _mobile phone_ , Ray. It’s enough I’m staying on this ship with you.’

However, he was adamant on giving her the gift he has made specially for her: someone from the past. ‘But what if we get separated, the comms are down, and you need to call us?’ he asked and tilted the mobile toward her. They reached her new quarters. ‘Just keep it. Zari will explain how it works.’

‘You’re a really nice bloke, but I don’t need your stuff.’ Charlie waved her hand in front of the motion detector, just like he had shown her. ‘See you at dinner.’

‘Maybe you’ll change your mind yet.’ The door didn’t close; Ray slipped inside and placed the mobile onto a box right next to it. ‘See you at dinner!’

With a smile and the thought of a successful mission, he strode towards his room and his suit. Programming this device was fun—but the real work had to be done now.


	55. i want pasta toooo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i swear to god if i keep going on like this and updating every day, this fic will end up a 150+ chapters long monster. it's only now beginning to dawn on me... but hey, more fun for you, right? XD besides, it's realistic that they talk every day. 
> 
> enjoy!

**2018/11/16**

 

 **notbarryallen:** [ _image attached_ : eyesandwich.jpeg]

 **ZariIsTheBest:** that’s just leeks on ketchup

 **AgentGeek:** I read the name as “eyes and wich” and wondered if that was a word haha

 **notbarryallen:** omg gary

 **notbarryallen:** I thought it was funny

 **gayforray:** it’s a bit funny

 **notbarryallen:** thanks

 **notbarryallen:** I have an announcement to make

 **MiniDarhk:** are you engaged

 **Lancelot:** Are you finally unwrapping the mystery of your bf

 **Gideon:** Does this concern me or the ship?

 **gayforray:** Gideon’s the only reasonable one here

 **notbarryallen:** no 😂 kinda and yeah

 **notbarryallen:** rick’s leaving central city and asked me to come with him

 **gayforray:** 👀

 **ZariIsTheBest:** what did you say

 **rayofsunshine:** Are you going to Earth-18?

 **notbarryallen:** no don’t worry

 **notbarryallen:** just asia

 **Lancelot:** “Just Asia”, okay, Wally

 **ZariIsTheBest:** isn’t that where Rip found you the last time

 **notbarryallen:** I just feel like I need to continue the self-discovery path and get to know a life outside being a hero and saving the world

 **gayforray:** you just want to spend time with your bf, we get it, Wally

 **notbarryallen:** that too 😆

 **Lancelot:** Leaving the team right in the middle of a magical crisis, that’s not cool, Wally

 **Lancelot:** No, I’m kidding, but we’ll miss you

 **notbarryallen:** you can give my room to charlie

 **rayofsunshine:** I already helped her move in into Nate’s old room.

 **gayforray:** does anyone else see a sad paradox in that

 **ZariIsTheBest:** yeah, I’m sorry

 **ZariIsTheBest:** @notbarryallen but you’re staying in the chat, right?

 **notbarryallen:** obvi

 **notbarryallen:** what would I do without reading about who wants to bang who

 **Gideon:** Where precisely in Asia are you going, Mr West?

 **notbarryallen:** everywhere and nowhere

 **MiniDarhk:** good answer

 **Lancelot:** What are you even doing here, Gideon?

 **Gideon:** I was bored because no one ever talks to me, it’s always “Gideon, fabricate this” and “Gideon, what’s a rugaru” and “Gideon, play that ABBA song Mick hates”.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I feel a little guilty right now

 **gayforray:** yeah, me too

 **Gideon:** I am happy to fulfil your wishes, but an AI needs some entertainment every now and then.

 **notbarryallen:** mood

 **Lancelot:** Let’s be honest, this is John and his weird requests’ fault

 **Trenchcoat:** What did I do this time

 **Gideon:** Ask for inappropriate spell ingredients.

 **Trenchcoat:** Gideon, what are you calling inappropriate?

 **Gideon:** Rabbit’s testicles, for example.

 **Jaxon:** u serious

 **Jaxon:** what exactly do u do there

 **MiniDarhk:** magic

 **Jaxon:** why did i even ask

 **Jaxon:** @notbarryallen when r u leaving

 **notbarryallen:** next week

 **ZariIsTheBest:** off topic but we gotta give Gideon a silly nickname

 **Lancelot:** Agreed

 **Gideon:** I don’t see how that’s important.

 **gayforray:** it just is

 **rayofsunshine:** The heart of the TARDIS.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** clever but too long

 **notbarryallen:** janet

 **MiniDarhk:** mama hen

 **MiniDarhk:** robot aunt

 **Jaxon:** lmao

 

 **Lancelot** _changed_ **Gideon’s** _name to_ **MamaWaverider**

 

 **gayforray:** 👍

 **MamaWaverider:** I can simply change it back.

 **Lancelot:** As the captain, I’m ordering you not to

 **MamaWaverider:** Not fair, captain.

 **gayforray:** since we’re doing this

 

 **gayforray** _changed_ **AgentGeek’s** _name to_ **gare-bear**

 

 **ZariIsTheBest:** you two are really growing closer

 **gare-bear:** Damn right we are

 **Trenchcoat:** I’m not sure if I like that

 **Lancelot:** Oooh, someone’s jealous

 **MiniDarhk:** soft

 **Trenchcoat:** I’m not soft

 **MamaWaverider:** You brought one of Gary’s Beebo blankets from his flat. I’d call that soft.

 **notbarryallen:** lol you’re killing it today

 **MiniDarhk:** why didn’t Gideon join this sooner

 **Trenchcoat:** 🖕

 **gayforray:** 💩

 **gare-bear:** ♥️

 **ZariIsTheBest:** 👀 Gideon knows all out secrets

 **MamaWaverider:** I do indeed, Miss Tomaz.

 **gayforray:** why do I see a smirk there

 **notbarryallen:** we should call gideon queen of sass

 **MamaWaverider:** I have no idea what you’re talking about.

 **ZariIsTheBest:** Nora where are you

 **MiniDarhk:** kitchen

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I thought we could do some hand-to-hand combat training but never mind

 **Trenchcoat:** Is that what you kids call it these days

 **ZariIsTheBest:** we’re almost the same age

 **MiniDarhk:** [ _image attached_ : cooks.jpeg]

 **MiniDarhk:** [ _image attached_ : pastaattemptno6.jpeg]

 **MiniDarhk:** this isn’t much different

 **gayforray:** so that’s where Ray went off to

 **grunt:** do I see food

 **ZariIsTheBest:** how to summon Mick 101

 **Jaxon:** looking good

 **MiniDarhk:** hope it tastes good too

 **Lancelot:** Is Ray teaching you how to cook?

 **Trenchcoat:** Why cook when you have the food fabricator

 **rayofsunshine:** *we.

 **rayofsunshine:** I love the food fabricator, but there is nothing better than a hand-cooked meal.

 **MamaWaverider:** Excuse me, I make excellent meals.

 **MiniDarhk:** never said you don’t, it’s just, I’ve never learned how to cook myself and ray offered to teach me

 **rayofsunshine:** I know a bunch of good vegetarian and halal recipes and I can finally use them!

 **MiniDarhk:** for you @ZariIsTheBest

 **ZariIsTheBest:** I don’t know what to say

 **gayforray:** aww

 

 **gayforray** _changed_ **ZariIsTheBest’s** _name to_ **smittenwithnora**

 **smittenwithnora** _changed their name to_ **ZarisDeathlyEyeroll**

 **gayforray** _changed_ **ZarisDeathlyEyeroll’s** _name to_ **QueenZee**

 

 **QueenZee:** okay I like that

 **QueenZee:** advancement

 **rayofsunshine:** You’re really bored, aren’t you, Nate?

 **gayforray:** out of my mind

 **Trenchcoat:** That pasta you’re making, will we have it for dinner

 **grunt:** sick of gross british food already

 **Trenchcoat:** British cuisine isn’t gross, Yank

 **Trenchcoat:** But having chicken and potatoes three days straight isn’t a shine either

 **MamaWaverider:** That’s for the odd spell ingredients you keep asking of me.

 **Trenchcoat:** Real ta, AI

 **Trenchcoat:** @gare-bear can you believe this? I ask for a steak and I get a bloody chicken leg every time

 **gare-bear:** You should never mess with a ship AI, John

 **MamaWaverider:** Thank you.

 **MiniDarhk:** if you think the pasta’s edible then, by all means, have it

 **rayofsunshine:** Yes, we made enough to feed a dwarf army.

 **Lancelot:** Dwarf army?

 **rayofsunshine:** That’s just a comparison that came to my mind.

 **MiniDarhk:** enough for six humans

 **grunt:** there’s 7 of us

 **MiniDarhk:** there’s no meat so you’re not eating it

 **grunt:** true

 **grunt:** fuck your vegetable food

 **MamaWaverider:** It wouldn’t hurt if you tried vegetarian cuisine once in a while, Mr Rory.

 **QueenZee:** yeah, it’s much better than hamburgers

 **notbarryallen:** says someone in a relationship with pink donuts

 **QueenZee:** what, I don’t eat them _every day_

 **Lancelot:** Hey Mick, have you even noticed I left about an hour ago

 **grunt:** no

 **Trenchcoat:** More pasta for us then

 **gayforray:** I want pasta toooo

 **gayforray:** Gary, call some delivery

 **gare-bear:** I have a freezer full of my grandma’s food, I’m sure there’s some pasta there too

 **gayforray:** oh, nice

 **Lancelot:** How’s living together going

 **gayforray:** I feel like Jake when he had mumps and had to stay in one house with Holt for two weeks

 **gayforray:** except Gary’s like an over-enthusiastic Boyle

 **Lancelot:** So it’s like the 8-day stakeout

 **gayforray:** you’re right

 **gare-bear:** I’m sorry

 **gayforray:** good thing I’m starting to feel well enough to go back to the ship and Ray-Ray

 **gare-bear:** 😔

 **notbarryallen:** painful

 **gayforray:** 😙

 **gayforray:** @rayofsunshine I miss you so much

 **gayforray:** texting just doesn’t do it

 **MiniDarhk:** please tell me how could you live before you were together

 **rayofsunshine:** Badly and sadly.

 **gayforray:** at least we had rooms next to each other

 **rayofsunshine:** Pasta is ready!

 **MiniDarhk:** [ _image attached_ : thumbsup.jpeg]

 **QueenZee:** I’m looking forward to it

 **MiniDarhk:** I’m nervous now

 **Trenchcoat:** You can always curse us into thinking it tastes great

 **QueenZee:** don’t give her ideas, John

 **rayofsunshine:** Gideon, tell Charlie dinner’s ready.

 **MamaWaverider:** Yes, Dr Palmer.

 **rayofsunshine:** This would be easier if she just used that phone I gave her.

 **MiniDarhk:** I’ll talk to her

 **MiniDarhk:** sorry in advance if this tastes like vomit

 **rayofsunshine:** It’s good, don’t worry, Nora.

 **MiniDarhk:** if you say so

 **gayforray:** 👍

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm still not over soup witch nora and tumblr gave me ideas again


	56. who are you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let's welcome charlie in the group chat, y'all
> 
> enjoy!

**2018/11/18**

 

 **gayforray:** guys have you heard

 **gayforray:** Stan Lee died :(

 **gare-bear:** The king is dead. We have lost a true hero and we will mourn him forever.

 **Trenchcoat:** He was just a comic guy

 **gayforray:** just a comic guy, John? Gary’s right, he changed the world

 **rayofsunshine:** Stan Lee died??? And I was having such a good day.

 **Trenchcoat:** Three question marks, must be pretty serious

 **Lancelot:** Show a little respect, John

 **MiniDarhk:** who’s he

 **QueenZee:** you kidding me right now

 **gayforray:** you’ve never seen a Marvel movie, Nora?

 **MiniDarhk:** hello, I was a demon’s vessel for 20 years

 **rayofsunshine:** You watched Doctor Who, though.

 **MiniDarhk:** ok fine, I’ve never seen a marvel movie, happy

 **QueenZee:** you’re in for a ride then

 **gayforray:** can we all watch all the movies

 **gayforray:** you know, to mourn Stan

 **rayofsunshine:** I’m all in! But I’ll need tissues.

 **gare-bear:** You cry at Captain America too?

 **rayofsunshine:** Yes, and also the ending of Infinity War.

 **gayforray:** I know where this is going

 **gayforray:** no spoilers, Z

 **QueenZee:** jeez calm down

 **gare-bear:** But we _can_ watch the fourth movie, right? When we’re on a time ship and it’s only half a year away

 **MamaWaverider:** I would advise against watching future television.

 **Lancelot:** Same here

 **QueenZee:** but we have to, because of Nora ;)

 **gare-bear:** Yes, I fully support that

 **MiniDarhk:** it’s not future for me so I say yeah whatever

 **rayofsunshine:** Hey @grunt, are you a fan of Marvel?

 **grunt:** I like deadpool

 **notbarryallen:** haha nice

 **Lancelot:** I also like Deadpool

 **QueenZee:** no surprise there

 **gayforray:** I’m still sad about Stan Lee but I’m glad I’m back here because GROUP MARVEL REWATCH!!!

 **rayofsunshine:** In what order are we watching?

 **gayforray:** chronological, obviously

 **Lancelot:** You do realize this will take at least two days

 **gare-bear:** We’re counting on that

 **Trenchcoat:** You really care an awful lot about some movies

 **gare-bear:** Shut up

 **gare-bear:** You love horror movies and Doctor Who

 **Trenchcoat:** Well, the horror film night was fun

 **QueenZee:** I’m never getting Ray’s reactions out of my mind

 **notbarryallen:** yeah me neither

 **notbarryallen:** [ _image attached_ : cringe.jpeg]

 **gayforray:** stop making fun of him

 **rayofsunshine:** Thank you <3

 **gayforray:** cause I’m the only one allowed to make fun of my boyfriend

 **gayforray:** [ _video attached_ : scream.mp4]

 **Lancelot:** You’re a wicked little guy

 **gayforray:** wicked maybe, but definitely not little ;)

 **QueenZee:** ahem

 **Trenchcoat:** Did anyone else remember the Olympic games

 **Lancelot:** Oh yeah

 **gare-bear:** Hey, I wasn’t there

 **Trenchcoat:** Then you missed a lot, love

 **QueenZee:** ahEM

 **MiniDarhk:** don’t listen to them honey

 **MiniDarhk:** but damn I’d love to see that

 **rayofsunshine:** I’m slightly confused here.

 **gayforray:** 😏

 **MamaWaverider:** I believe they are talking about Dr Heywood’s… private parts.

 **notbarryallen:** Gideon omg

 **Lancelot:** Hey Ray, you know all that first hand ;)

 **rayofsunshine:** I’m not talking to you anymore.

 **gayforray:** I kinda feel the same energy here baby

 **Trenchcoat:** You started it, mate

 **gayforray:** technically that was Sara

 **QueenZee:** distraction, anyone

 

 **MamaWaverider** _added_ **Charlie** _to_ **World’s Biggest Poly SHIP**

 

 **QueenZee:** thanks, Gideon

 **grunt:** I doubt she’ll join this thing

 

 **grunt** _changed_ **Charlie’s** _name to_ **punkbaby**

 

 **Lancelot:** Which is why you did that

 **gayforray:** anyone else sensing a ship here

 **notbarryallen:** hell yes new people

 **MiniDarhk:** 👀

 **Trenchcoat:** What the hell are you talking about

 **gare-bear:** A ship is uhhhh when you think some people should be together, mainly in fiction

 **MiniDarhk:** I’m surprised you haven’t taught him all these things already

 **gare-bear:** We don’t really talk about this stuff that much?

 **Trenchcoat:** We’re less Netflix and more chill, so to speak

 **gayforray:** 😉

 **Jaxon:** do u have more people on this ship now

 **rayofsunshine:** Only Charlie, she’s a shapeshifter from 1977 London.

 **Trenchcoat:** Not anymore

 **grunt:** yeah thanks to you, trenchcoat

 **Lancelot:** @rayofsunshine aw you’re talking to us

 **gayforray:** can’t resist answering a question

 **rayofsunshine:** That’s true.

 **MiniDarhk:** that was fast mm

 **MiniDarhk:** I also might’ve convinced charlie to use that phone

 **punkbaby:** so what is this

 **grunt:** haircut’s stupid group chat

 **punkbaby:** who are you

 **grunt:** mick

 **punkbaby:** right

 **punkbaby:** what bloody good is this for

 **rayofsunshine:** Communication and team building, of course! Hi, Charlie, this is Ray.

 **punkbaby:** yeah i kinda figured that out

 **MiniDarhk:** we mostly make fun of each other here or talk about weird stuff

 **notbarryallen:** like sex

 **MiniDarhk:** or my cooking attempts

 **notbarryallen:** good definition of weird stuff

 **punkbaby:** i suppose you lot arent so bad after all

 **punkbaby:** but why the names i dont even know who you are

 **grunt:** their idea

 **QueenZee:** just because

 **grunt:** wanna grab a beer with me

 **punkbaby:** sure but i dont want any of your american piss, give me a proper pint

 **Trenchcoat:** For once I agree with you

 **grunt:** you’re not invited

 **punkbaby:** youre the warlock who cursed me

 **Trenchcoat:** Good guess, love

 **Trenchcoat:** I tolerate you on this ship but that doesn’t mean I like you or your kind, so stay away from me. I’m the magic expert here

 **punkbaby:** fine by me

 **Lancelot:** Guys, please don’t pick any more fights

 **MamaWaverider:** Here on the Waverider, we respect each other.

 **gayforray:** preach, Gideon

 **punkbaby:** and who might you be

 **Lancelot:** I’m Sara, the captain

 **gayforray:** hi, I’m Nate, we haven’t met yet, I used to date the one whose face you’re wearing but now I’m dating Ray

 **punkbaby:** this ray

 **rayofsunshine:** Do you see any other Rays here? Yes, he’s my boyfriend.

 **punkbaby:** just didnt think you had it in you

 **rayofsunshine:** You’ve seen what I can do. I stole that corgi!

 **gayforray:** I’m proud of you, but never do that again

 **MiniDarhk:** this is nora in case you can’t tell

 **QueenZee:** I’m Zari and I still don’t trust you

 **punkbaby:** likewise

 **notbarryallen:** wow, no love lost there

 **notbarryallen:** this is wally

 **punkbaby:** i dont get your name

 **notbarryallen:** it’s a reference to barry allen, my more famous brother in law

 **QueenZee:** he also runs fast

 **rayofsunshine:** I’ll give you an introduction to our world and the future later if you want!

 **punkbaby:** what year are you from anyway

 **Lancelot:** The ship is from the 2150s but we come from 2018

 **punkbaby:** blimey thats 41 years in the future

 **gayforray:** well, things aren’t _that_ different, I’m a historian, I would know

 **QueenZee:** I’m actually from 2042 and Nora is from 2038

 **grunt:** and amaya was from 1942

 **notbarryallen:** this must sound wild to an outsider

 **Trenchcoat:** She’s been locked in a magical dimension, I think she’s fine

 **punkbaby:** speak for yourself trenchcoat

 **gayforray:** what did I say about a ship 👀

 **Lancelot:** I see it now

 **rayofsunshine:** Yeah.

 **notbarryallen:** how’s your beer

 **MamaWaverider:** You know I have the ability to fabricate every food or drink down to every detail, so naturally, it’s perfect.

 **Lancelot:** Gideon likes to brag

 **punkbaby:** how does this gideon work, who is she, all i can hear is her voice

 **MamaWaverider:** I am an artificial intelligence—something like a supercomputer if you will. I am the heart of this ship and observe its basic functions, such as life support, medical care, food, navigation, and weapons system. I can also receive orders and messages.

 **QueenZee:** and she’s sometimes really sassy, too

 **Trenchcoat:** With a twisted sense of humour

 **gare-bear:** Did you get chicken again?

 **Trenchcoat:** Charred toast for breakfast

 **QueenZee:** /virtual pat on the back/ don’t worry, you’ll get over it

 **gare-bear:** I’m so sorry, John

 **Trenchcoat:** Are you busy right now, love

 **gare-bear:** Not particularly, why?

 **Trenchcoat:** Since we were talking about Netflix and chill, I got a little idea

 **gare-bear:** Okay that’s great I’m coming right now lwnaffdvs

 **MiniDarhk:** you’ll give him a heart attack one day

 **Trenchcoat:** Oh I’ll give him more than a heart attack, alright

 **gayforray:** /facepalm/

 **Lancelot:** You’re such an adorable couple

 **punkbaby:** what exactly is going on

 **MiniDarhk:** they’re gonna bang

 **gayforray:** see, we’re all in fulfilling relationships with other people on this ship

 **QueenZee:** except Wally

 **notbarryallen:** shut up

 **notbarryallen:** the only single person left was mick

 **MiniDarhk:** also we’re a little or a lot gay, depends on who you ask

 **grunt:** what about you

 **punkbaby:** i aint straight thats for sure

 **rayofsunshine:** ✋

 **punkbaby:** so mick youre the only single one here

 **grunt:** yeah

 **punkbaby:** youre mine now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah yeah i've got another ship. welp
> 
> the last line might or might not mean something ;)


	57. title of your sex tape

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the one-day break, but i'm back with another chapter! it's a direct continuation of the previous one.
> 
> enjoy!

**2018/11/18**

 

 **grunt:** what

 **grunt:** I don’t want to date anyone

 **punkbaby:** im joking

 **punkbaby:** but i do like you, mick, you have a good taste in alcohol and understand what ive been through better than anyone

 **MiniDarhk:** now that’s not fair

 **QueenZee:** you’re already dating me

 **MiniDarhk:** your point

 **QueenZee:** okay be friends with her if you want to

 **punkbaby:** she can read this

 **MiniDarhk:** yeah I apologize for zari

 **Lancelot:** Anyway

 **Lancelot:** Who’s been in the bathroom for ten minutes

 **MamaWaverider:** Mr West.

 **notbarryallen:** sorry

 **gayforray:** one would think the speedster would be out in a minute

 **notbarryallen:** I’m, uh

 **notbarryallen:** trying something

 **grunt:** jerking off in normal speed

 **notbarryallen:** jeez no

 **notbarryallen:** just some… eyeliner

 **QueenZee:** hey I can give you some tips

 **Lancelot:** So can I, if you get the fuck out for a sec

 **gayforray:** trying out makeup for your boyfriend 👀

 **notbarryallen:** kinda

 **notbarryallen:** I’m glad you’re so chill about this

 **QueenZee:** why wouldn’t we, we’re all kinds of weird

 **gayforray:** gay and weird

 **punkbaby:** punks wear eyeliner and give zero fucks, i support you kid

 **punkbaby:** really youre all gay

 **QueenZee:** Ava and I are lesbians, the rest are bi and the like

 **rayofsunshine:** Or pan.

 **punkbaby:** whats that

 **grunt:** same thing

 **rayofsunshine:** It means you’re attracted to a person regardless of gender.

 **MiniDarhk:** like two or more genders, like bi, idk, it’s complicated

 **punkbaby:** got it

 **punkbaby:** eyeliner kid, definitely come to me for advice

 **notbarryallen:** ok you seem like you know the stuff

 **QueenZee:** hey, I know makeup too

 **rayofsunshine:** So do I! I’m the master of Halloween masks and cosplay.

 **Lancelot:** Of course you are, Ray

 **gayforray:** what, we’re proud of it

 **MiniDarhk:** we

 **gayforray:** not to boast but I’ve got a few awards for the best costume from cons

 **rayofsunshine:** I’m still not over the fact Barry and Iris beat us at the Halloween party.

 **gayforray:** unbelievable

 **QueenZee:** no wonder you all like to dress up in silly superhero costumes

 **notbarryallen:** aha, you wear one too

 **QueenZee:** I was forced to

 **Trenchcoat:** No one can force me to put on a costume

 **Lancelot:** Yeah yeah but we’ll never stop trying

 **notbarryallen:** weren’t you, you know

 **Trenchcoat:** With Gary?

 **MiniDarhk:** yeah

 **Trenchcoat:** He took the mobile to take pictures

 **gayforray:** oh god

 **Lancelot:** Pictures, yeah?

 **Trenchcoat:** What, you and Sharpie never take any

 **Lancelot:** Not when there’s a possibility of someone getting to them

 **rayofsunshine:** All our phones have fingerprint security.

 **MiniDarhk:** 👀

 **rayofsunshine:** It’s not what it looks like.

 **punkbaby:** and what does it look like

 **gayforray:** we’re not making sex tapes, y’all

 **notbarryallen:** title of your sex tape

 **gayforray:** don’t Jake Peralta me

 **notbarryallen:** again, title of your sex tape

 **QueenZee:** you and Ray’s

 **notbarryallen:** yes high five

 **notbarryallen:** charlie you gotta watch b99 with us and also the marvel movie marathon

 **Lancelot:** We doing that today?

 **QueenZee:** you bet

 **punkbaby:** marvel like the comics

 **punkbaby:** there are films in the future

 **gayforray:** I’m glad you asked

 **rayofsunshine:** Do you know Doctor Who?

 **punkbaby:** course i know it but dont watch it, its rubbish

 **rayofsunshine:** Four was on in 1977, right?

 **punkbaby:** giant scarf, yeah

 **gayforray:** Ray, whispering: he’s not lame

 **rayofsunshine:** Four is great! He’s _the_ Doctor!

 **rayofsunshine:** But let’s put that aside now, you have to watch Thirteen with us.

 **MiniDarhk:** she’s a girl and she’s great

 **QueenZee:** she’s my wife

 **gayforray:** mine too

 **gayforray:** sorry Ray

 **rayofsunshine:** Only if I can marry Eleven.

 **Lancelot:** Favorite Doctors, the saga

 **Trenchcoat:** I’d marry both Eleven and Thirteen

 **gayforray:** John 👀

 **Trenchcoat:** Oh, no, this is Gary

 **Trenchcoat:** John’s favorite is obviously Ten

 **punkbaby:** so there are 13 of them now

 **rayofsunshine:** Actually, it’s fifteen, but two don’t really count.

 **punkbaby:** next youll tell me the star wars thing has 6 more films

 **rayofsunshine:** Actually, the ninth episode is coming out next year, and there are three extra movies between episodes and six animated shows.

 **gayforray:** baby, you’re forgetting the holiday special and the ewoks stuff again

 **rayofsunshine:** You’re right, sorry, I always forget about that.

 **punkbaby:** why its horrible

 **gayforray:** /gasp/ NO

 **QueenZee:** go get her, Nate

 **Lancelot:** Star Wars is literally what made them decide their careers, believe me, we know that first hand

 **MiniDarhk:** yeah we never trash on star wars here

 **gayforray:** thank you

 **gayforray:** I’d be a freaking yoga instructor and Ray would be a heart surgeon

 **gayforray:** which, I admit, is very hot, but the atom suit is even hotter

 **gayforray:** and before you say anything, no, we don’t use it for any sexual activities

 **notbarryallen:** “we never trash on star wars here” is basically rule number 1

 **QueenZee:** I thought that was don’t let Mick light anything on the ship on fire

 **MiniDarhk:** or no using lol in this chat

 **notbarryallen:** lol who cares anymore

 **Lancelot:** I’m pretty sure rule number one is “always listen to your captain”

 **rayofsunshine:** Yes, ma’am.

 **MamaWaverider:** Rip has written down a list of rules, in case you’re interested in hearing it.

 **QueenZee:** better not

 **gayforray:** are at least five about Mick

 **MamaWaverider:** Seven.

 **grunt:** what have I done

 **rayofsunshine:** Threatened to kill us more than once, set the ship on fire at least once, broke the food fabricator more than once, I could go on.

 **grunt:** I didn’t mean it literally haircut

 **punkbaby:** a true troublemaker, i’m really starting to like you

 **gayforray:** I know you were joking but you should get together

 **notbarryallen:** and break our same sex couple show

 **QueenZee:** you’re leaving next week, why care

 **notbarryallen:** did you see a question mark

 **QueenZee:** we never use punctuation marks so yeah I actually did

 **notbarryallen:** well true

 **MiniDarhk:** 😂

 **grunt:** told you I don’t want to date anyone

 **Lancelot:** We’ll see what we can do

 **gayforray:** ;)

 **QueenZee:** and so the shipping saga begins anew

 **notbarryallen:** you’re happy when it’s not you 😏

 **MiniDarhk:** 😙

 **grunt:** fuck off

 **punkbaby:** youve got the right idea

 **punkbaby:** but I wouldnt mind you shagging me

 **grunt:** hmm

 **notbarryallen:** hmmmmmmmmmm

 **Lancelot:** Have a drink and see what happens

 **MissTimeBureau:** What exactly has been going on in here?

 **QueenZee:** you were not secretly reading it, I’m surprised

 **Lancelot:** Aves, do you wanna do a Marvel marathon with us

 **Lancelot:** Or have a drink and see what happens ;)

 **gayforray:** you have to do the movie marathon with us, Ava

 **MissTimeBureau:** Nate, I’m _your_ boss, not the other way around. But all right, I could do that.

 **Lancelot:** Nice

 **rayofsunshine:** I thought there would have to be a bit more persuasion.

 **gayforray:** same

 **MissTimeBureau:** What, you think I can’t enjoy a superhero movie when I work with a bunch of them?

 **Lancelot:** Aww you called us superheroes

 **Trenchcoat:** Superheroes are idiots in costumes who overestimate their powers

 **QueenZee:** I don’t like costumes but that’s a bit disrespectful towards us

 **QueenZee:** and didn’t you sleep with Batman

 **MissTimeBureau:** Please, he’s slept with everyone.

 **QueenZee:** true

 **gayforray:** I guess that’s a no for the marathon from John?

 **gare-bear:** No, that’s definitely a yes

 **gayforray:** great

 **QueenZee:** so how much popcorn should I make

 **Lancelot:** Lotz

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( **Lancelot:** That's a typo sorry)
> 
> comic!constantine mockingly calling the superheroes "costumes" and always making fun of them and making them seem as incompetent fools is my favourite thing okay


	58. is there a sigh emoji?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writing around the episodes had me repeatedly realise the episode timelines don't really make sense. like, the team just got back from getting the tape, but at the bureau, it's already thanksgiving day. which only means one thing: they must've gone after tagumo the next day and just chilled in the evening. every time. and that's why the cases always take so long. what a mood, lol.
> 
> so i guess this episode chapter is a two-parter because it got long. enjoy!
> 
> p.s. this episode left me in an even bigger shipping identity crisis. i ship different people in canon and in this fic and it's getting real confusing in my brain, thanks

**2018/11/21**

 

 **Lancelot:** Bones alert? Guys? Anytime soon would be good

 **QueenZee:** sorry, I heard you, I went to get Mick

 **QueenZee:** so Wally, are you ready for your last mission

 **notbarryallen:** no tbh

 **notbarryallen:** I love doing this with you guys

 **rayofsunshine:** Aww. We love having you around too.

 **notbarryallen:** is it at least something cool

 **Lancelot:** Come and find out

 **notbarryallen:** @gayforray

 **notbarryallen:** you’re gonna love this

 **notbarryallen:** ishiro honda is involved

 **gayforray:** that’s the guy who directed Godzilla!

 **gayforray:** why do I have to be at work again

 **MissTimeBureau:** Because your father is coming for an inspection, Nate.

 **gayforray:** right

 **rayofsunshine:** I’m sorry.

 **gayforray** _sent a GIF_

 **punkbaby:** do I really have to wear a bloody costume

 **QueenZee:** we have to blend in, so yeah

 **notbarryallen:** who taught you how to capitalize

 **MiniDarhk:** I did

 **MiniDarhk:** didn’t know there was a symbol keyboard either

 **punkbaby:** what its not like I need it

 **punkbaby:** I also know how to do this

 

 **punkbaby** _changed their name to_ **trickstergoddess**

 

 **gayforray:** noice

 **QueenZee:** if that’s a Loki reference I hate you a bit less

 **trickstergoddess:** I dont care for your approval

 **trickstergoddess:** but of course its a loki reference, hes relatable

 **notbarryallen:** he’s just so extra

 **notbarryallen:** I love him

 **QueenZee:** yeahhh

 **gayforray:** everyone does

 **MiniDarhk:** he’s so dark and sexy

 **rayofsunshine:** But he also achieved redemption and became a better person, just like you.

 **Trenchcoat:** And here I thought you couldn’t get any more obsessive over movies

 **QueenZee:** okay that’s not gonna happen

 **Lancelot:** Not with these guys

 **MissTimeBureau:** You should know better, Constantine.

 **Lancelot:** So, are we ready to roll

 **gayforray:** seriously I want to go with you

 **gare-bear:** You get to stay with me!

 **gayforray:** thanks, Gary

 **Trenchcoat:** I’ll pass on this one, I think you can handle whatever creature is hiding in the bay by yourselves

 **Trenchcoat:** I’m gonna go hang out at the time bureau with Gary instead

 **gare-bear:** No, please, don’t, not today

 **Trenchcoat:** Why, love, I thought you liked having me round

 **gare-bear:** Hank Heywood is here today and we have so many fugitives to take care of and just, I’d like to stay out of trouble for once

 **QueenZee:** like you can stay out of trouble

 **gare-bear:** I try

 **MiniDarhk:** come on john, we can play magical cards or something

 **Trenchcoat:** You want to stay away from those

 **MiniDarhk:** k I was just offering to keep you company

 **gayforray:** you’re not going either?

 **MiniDarhk:** there’s five of them already

 **MiniDarhk:** and I’m not exactly feeling up for it today

 **QueenZee:** you sure you’re okay?

 **MiniDarhk:** yeah it’s fine

 **MissTimeBureau:** Anxiety?

 **MiniDarhk:** it’s just

 **MiniDarhk:** it’s a year since I’ve brought my father back and I can’t stop thinking about him and the sacrifice he made for me

 **QueenZee:** we can curl up in a blanket cocoon and play video games when we come back, yeah?

 **rayofsunshine:** I’ll make you some hot chocolate. I know what this can be like sometimes.

 **MissTimeBureau:** I’m sorry about that.

 **MissTimeBureau:** Oh, and fun story, I was invited to join the Heywoods for Thanksgiving.

 **gayforray:** it’s okay if you don’t want to go

 **MissTimeBureau:** No, I do!

 **Lancelot:** Maybe this case will be over quickly and we can still celebrate it at our place?

 **notbarryallen:** no no no we’re doing a proper waverider thanksgiving, aight

 **trickstergoddess:** you americans with your holidays

 **Lancelot:** Got something to say?

 **trickstergoddess:** you always get together and pretend like alls fine and you dont hate each other and youre the most important in the world but guess what, its just a bloody illusion

 **Trenchcoat:** Agree with you, love

 **Lancelot:** Okay you’re uninvited if it bothers you that much

 **grunt:** no she’s not

 **Lancelot:** What

 **grunt:** please?

 **gayforray:** wow

 **notbarryallen:** cruSH

 **Lancelot:** I have to unsay what I said now because Mick actually said please

 **Trenchcoat:** Well I’m still not interested

 **rayofsunshine:** You live here, of course you’re interested.

 **MiniDarhk:** you up for cooking a turkey with me

 **gayforray:** a) you roast a turkey

 **gayforray:** b) we always let Gideon fabricate it

 **MamaWaverider:** I’ll be happy to provide the perfect Thanksgiving feast for you.

 **Lancelot:** You always do, Gideon

 **rayofsunshine:** Actually, I think we could cook the food ourselves this year! Take it as teambuilding.

 **grunt:** why

 **MamaWaverider:** Are you questioning my food again?

 **rayofsunshine:** No, nothing like that! I’m just saying it would be, you know, more authentic and traditional. And besides, this is the perfect opportunity for Nora to test her cooking skills.

 **notbarryallen:** it’s my last one with you so I say we go for it

 **grunt:** I’m not eating your experimental food

 **QueenZee:** you eat everything when you’re hungry

 **trickstergoddess:** yeah youre like a walking stomach

 **trickstergoddess:** I like that

 **MiniDarhk:** so is zari tbh

 **QueenZee:** I like snacking, nothing wrong with that

 **MiniDarhk:** at least I have a test subject for my cooking

 **gayforray:** wasn’t that Ray

 **MiniDarhk:** both

 **rayofsunshine:** I’m happy to be your test subject! 😄

 **Lancelot:** Soooo let’s all be test subjects, I guess

 **gayforray:** what about Ava and I though

 **notbarryallen:** we’re doing it on friday cause we’re also working if you haven’t noticed

 **gayforray:** right 👉👉

 **MissTimeBureau:** Two Thanksgiving feasts, God help me.

 **Lancelot:** I’ll make sure you get enough exercise to burn all the calories, Aves ;)

 **Lancelot:** I also have a suggestion: let’s do it at our house instead of the ship, no fabricator

 **MamaWaverider:** I’m mildly offended.

 **MissTimeBureau:** If you figure out how to seat 11 people around our table.

 **notbarryallen:** can I invite patrick

 **Lancelot:** Of course!

 **notbarryallen:** sorry ava

 **MissTimeBureau:** Is there a sigh emoji?

 **gayforray:** no but your expression does it

 **rayofsunshine:** We don’t have to do it at the house if you don’t want to.

 **QueenZee:** really, if we’re that much of a pain in the ass

 **MissTimeBureau:** I never said that, I only said we don’t have enough space at the table.

 **MiniDarhk:** improvise

 **notbarryallen:** we can sit on the floor

 **gayforray:** playing at tbbt

 **notbarryallen:** 😂

 **gayforray:** anyway how’s the mission

 **QueenZee:** we got the movie, it’s freaking kraken

 **rayofsunshine:** It’s an octopus, not a kraken. Those are two entirely different species.

 **gayforray:** they’re both cephalopods, let it go

 **rayofsunshine:** You’re right, I should let it go.

 **gayforray:** always right ;)

 **QueenZee:** so are we going after this non-fugitive kraken now or

 **QueenZee:** cause I’m actually tired

 **trickstergoddess:** yeah im out

 **grunt:** said it destroys the city in two days right

 **Lancelot:** Okay, let’s just have dinner

 **Lancelot:** Gideon, surprise us this time

 **MamaWaverider:** Surprise dinner coming right away.

 **Trenchcoat:** Be a good girl and give me something else than chicken

 **grunt:** I want porn

 **grunt:** I meant pork

 **QueenZee:** Mick, honestly

 **QueenZee:** we know you’re working on your novel again

 **grunt:** ok fine I am

 **grunt:** but I really want pork

 **MamaWaverider:** I thought you wanted a surprise dinner.

 **grunt:** just put meat in it

 **trickstergoddess:** I want what mick has

 **trickstergoddess:** still a surprise ey

 **MamaWaverider:** I imagine you want whisky to drink with your dinner.

 **trickstergoddess:** now thats a splendid idea

 **MiniDarhk:** you can really hold your liquor, I admire you

 **trickstergoddess:** ta, I do have my tricks

 **grunt:** yeah same for me gideon

 **notbarryallen:** wow fancy

 **grunt:** it’s almost thanksgiving so why the hell not

 **Lancelot:** All right, dinner’s ready

 **gayforray:** I’m portaling on the ship, don’t freak out

 **gare-bear:** Yeah me too

 **rayofsunshine:** So you’re done with your work for today?

 **MissTimeBureau:** Not me, not yet. Save me a slice of something, yeah?

 **Lancelot:** Of course <3

 **Lancelot:** I miss you

 **MissTimeBureau:** So do I.

 **MissTimeBureau:** I’ll definitely stop by later!

 **MiniDarhk:** you’re cute now let’s eat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i'm off to have dinner myself right now, lol


	59. octopus is back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so here's the second part of episode five. lol i hope it isn't boring and you'll enjoy it <3

**2018/11/22**

 

 **notbarryallen:** happy thanksgiving 🦃

 **MiniDarhk:** not all of us here eat turkey

 **MiniDarhk:** but yeah, happy thanksgiving

 **gayforray:** (idiots)

 **MiniDarhk:** I didn’t say that

 **gayforray:** I did

 **gayforray:** because guess who has an awful family Thanksgiving ahead of them

 **MissTimeBureau:** We do. But I’m sure it won’t be that bad.

 **Lancelot:** I mean, so do we

 **rayofsunshine:** We’ve got a giant octopus to catch.

 **MissTimeBureau:** Have fun.

 **QueenZee:** always

 **QueenZee:** same goes for you

 **gayforray:** we can certainly try

 **gayforray:** Ray, are you sure you don’t want to come with me?

 **rayofsunshine:** I know your dad doesn’t like me, so let’s just not poke the bear. But you know I’d love to come with you if I could. I love you.

 **gayforray:** you’re right again… but I _am_ going to miss you there

 **gayforray:** love you too, Ray

 **MissTimeBureau:** You have me, Nate, you won’t be completely alone.

 **gayforray:** I know, thanks for that 👍

 **gayforray:** so we should probably go

 **Lancelot:** As should we, right, team?

 **gare-bear:** Why do I have to be at work uhhhh

 **gare-bear:** I’m hungry

 **MissTimeBureau:** Because I took the day off, Gary. I’m sure you can handle it.

 **Trenchcoat:** My offer to come over still stands

 **gare-bear:** You would?

 **Trenchcoat:** Course, love. There’s no cockblocking dad there today, aye?

 **gayforray:** that’s my dad you’re talking about

 **gare-bear:** No, all good

 **gare-bear:** Except for a few fugitives…

 **Trenchcoat:** Excellent, I can send them all back to hell and then we can some fun of our own

 **Lancelot:** Yeah, John, do that, we’re just gonna go save Tokyo from being destroyed in the meantime

 **rayofsunshine:** Are you sure you can handle the miniaturizing beam? Do you know everything?

 **Lancelot:** Ray, I’ve used it before, stop worrying about your suit

 **grunt:** he sure loves his suit

 **MiniDarhk:** too much I think

 **gayforray:** can confirm

 **rayofsunshine:** It’s the single highlight of my engineering career, of course I love my suit.

 **Lancelot:** Okay, let’s just leave it at that and be on our merry way

 **MiniDarhk:** I hope the octopus eats you

 **QueenZee:** very funny, Nora

 **MiniDarhk:** ray

 **MiniDarhk:** wanna watch a show or something

 **rayofsunshine:** Sure! What do you have in mind?

 **MiniDarhk:** idk, dealer’s choice

 **gare-bear:** [ _image attached_ : dreamthreesome.jpeg]

 **MiniDarhk:** wow

 **notbarryallen:** ot3

 **rayofsunshine:** Is that taco girl?

 **gare-bear:** Yeah, I might’ve invited her to stay for lunch with John and I and told her what the Time Bureau really is

 **gayforray:** again

 **gare-bear:** I know, it’s like Groundhog Day

 **MissTimeBureau:** I hope you know what you’re doing, Gary.

 **Trenchcoat:** So how’s the family, Sharpie?

 **MissTimeBureau:** Wild.

 **notbarryallen:** tokyo’s wild too, I love it

 **notbarryallen:** what an iconic way to go

 **gayforray:** I’m glad you’re having fun, bro

 **gare-bear:** Speaking of wild

 **MissTimeBureau:** What happened, Gary?

 **MiniDarhk:** did you end up having that threesome

 **gare-bear:** I wish

 **gare-bear:** The prisoners have broken loose

 **gayforray:** fuck

 **gayforray:** I’m coming

 **Trenchcoat:** Don’t worry, lads, I can handle this

 **MissTimeBureau:** Are you sure?

 **Trenchcoat:** Positive, pet

 **gayforray:** is it wrong if I'd rather deal with that than the family

 **rayofsunshine:** There’s nothing wrong about that, Nate. We all have family issues.

 **MiniDarhk:** right on spot

 **gayforray:** do you wanna talk about it or

 **MiniDarhk:** thanks but I still rather wouldn’t

 **gayforray** _sent a GIF_

 **MiniDarhk:** how do you do that

 **gayforray:** emoji keyboard

 **MiniDarhk:** clever

 **MiniDarhk** _sent a GIF_

 **rayofsunshine** _sent a GIF_

 **gayforray** _sent a GIF_

 **grunt:** children

 **MiniDarhk:** you’re an overgrown alcoholic child yourself

 **grunt:** but not a childish child

 **QueenZee:** so you admit it, hah

 **MiniDarhk:** you on a break or something

 **notbarryallen:** kinda hit a dead end

 **trickstergoddess:** so youre all just sitting here and talking on the mobile phone, got it

 **Lancelot:** I wonder what happened to society

 **MiniDarhk:** you’re doing it too

 **QueenZee:** we’re communicating with our friends on the ship

 **gayforray:** and Thanksgiving dinner

 **notbarryallen:** from 1951

 **notbarryallen:** I’m gonna miss it

 **trickstergoddess:** then dont leave

 **notbarryallen:** it’s not that simple

 **MiniDarhk:** he’s in love

 **notbarryallen:** yeah precisely so shut up, I’m still leaving on saturday

 **rayofsunshine:** Since you’re not busy, we can decide who will prepare what for late Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow.

 **Lancelot:** Great idea

 **Lancelot:** Not the turkey

 **MissTimeBureau:** You can just set the table, dear.

 **notbarryallen:** lol accurate

 **notbarryallen:** I can do mashed potatoes

 **QueenZee:** I wanted that

 **rayofsunshine:** I can try and roast the turkey if someone makes the stuffing.

 **gayforray:** I think I can stuff you just fine

 **rayofsunshine:** Great!

 **rayofsunshine:** I’ll just take out the old Grandma Palmer cookbook!

 **MiniDarhk:** I think I can try the casserole

 **QueenZee:** your cooking is great, Nora, you’ll make the perfect casserole

 **QueenZee:** and I don’t want to be a bother but can you get halal turkey

 **rayofsunshine:** Of course, Zari.

 **QueenZee:** thanks

 **QueenZee:** guess I’ll make pie

 **Lancelot:** Pumpkin, please

 **gayforray:** apple

 **MiniDarhk:** both

 **grunt:** I like pecan pie

 **grunt:** and I’m not cooking

 **QueenZee:** I'm making apple pie and the rest of you can go screw yourselves

 **gare-bear:** I can bring pumpkin pie if you want?

 **Lancelot:** Yes

 **MamaWaverider:** I feel so left out right now.

 **Lancelot:** Gideon, fabricate pecan pie for Mick and let him pretend he made it

 **rayofsunshine:** We still need someone to take care of cranberries and sweet potatoes.

 **MissTimeBureau:** I can do that.

 **Trenchcoat:** I’m not taking part in any of this

 **trickstergoddess:** yeah im with trenchcoat

 **QueenZee:** we got that

 **rayofsunshine:** Does anyone want any other meals?

 **notbarryallen:** mac and cheese

 **Lancelot:** Classy

 **notbarryallen:** [ _image attached_ : rickwilltakecareofthat.png]

 **notbarryallen:** he knows I need high caloric intake

 **MiniDarhk:** that’s fast texting

 **gayforray:** all I can see is that single text saying “babe…?”

 **notbarryallen:** it’s not like you don’t do that

 **notbarryallen:** here

 **MissTimeBureau:** Is the Fugitive situation taken care of?

 **Lancelot:** Subtle

 **gare-bear:** Yes it is, turns out they were just really hungry

 **MissTimeBureau:** Oh, good.

 **notbarryallen:** that’s a mood

 **Trenchcoat:** The creatures are fully sated and locked up

 **trickstergoddess:** so youre not sending them to hell anymore, how chivalrous of you

 **gare-bear:** I convinced him not to

 **Lancelot:** Anyway

 **Lancelot:** Octopus is back

 **QueenZee:** that’s the thanksgiving spirit I guess

 **notbarryallen:** on it

 **notbarryallen:** it’s shrunken but uh it disappeared down the sewer

 **trickstergoddess:** right, that worked out nicely

 **Lancelot:** We have to come up with a new plan

 **QueenZee:** don’t worry, Mick’s got it

 **grunt:** hell yeah I do

 **MiniDarhk:** this is entertaining

 **MiniDarhk:** better than the movie

 **rayofsunshine:** It’s the 1954 Godzilla, it’s thematic!

 **gayforray:** man, you’re watching the original Godzilla now

 **MiniDarhk:** I’m happy to trade places with you

 **gayforray:** no you’re not

 **gayforray:** [ _image attached_ : familydisaster.jpeg]

 **notbarryallen:** lol

 **Lancelot:** Not that again

 **notbarryallen:** sorry mom I’ll use proper words next time

 **MissTimeBureau:** It’s not as funny as it looks.

 **gayforray:** well, at least the food is good

 **QueenZee:** okay but this is funny

 **QueenZee:** [ _video attached_ : micksqueen.mp4]

 **MiniDarhk:** what the fuck, mick

 **Trenchcoat:** I see Rory’s true nature has come out

 **grunt:** don’t insult my queen

 **grunt:** she’s gonna destroy the octopus and save the world

 **MiniDarhk:** girl power, right

 **MiniDarhk:** though I have a question, is no one noticing your future tech, like, you’re standing there and texting

 **Lancelot:** People just tend to ignore it most of the time, just like they’re ignoring the ship or other devices we bring in

 **MamaWaverider:** Yes, I have developed a certain form of cloaking on all Waverider components and property, which helps future technology go unnoticed in the past.

 **QueenZee:** Gideon

 **MamaWaverider:** Well, Miss Tomaz and Dr Palmer did, I merely helped them with the installation and activation.

 **Lancelot:** That’s great, why am I only hearing about that now?

 **rayofsunshine:** Because I thought we let you know?

 **QueenZee:** I think Gideon was supposed to

 **MamaWaverider:** Oops, forgive me for that.

 **MiniDarhk:** so it’s basically like the perception filter from doctor who

 **rayofsunshine:** When you put it like that…

 **gayforray:** I knew about that

 **notbarryallen:** ray and you tell each other everything

 **QueenZee:** duh

 **QueenZee:** things got weird so we’re coming back

 **MiniDarhk:** weird how

 **Lancelot:** Mick is having sex with Garima

 **gayforray:** his oc

 **gayforray:** wow

 **MissTimeBureau:** What?

 **gare-bear:** 👀

 **QueenZee:** yeah it’s gross

 **MiniDarhk:** come watch the movie with us

 **QueenZee:** good idea

 **notbarryallen:** so this was great

 **MiniDarhk:** even with mick

 **notbarryallen:** totally

 **notbarryallen:** now let’s watch all three remakes of godzilla cause I need this to be epic

 **rayofsunshine:** I like your idea.

 **gayforray:** I don’t, I want to do that with you

 **rayofsunshine:** We can rewatch all the movies later in bed if you want!

 **MiniDarhk:** we’re in bed now

 **QueenZee:** yup and I’m joining you

 **gayforray:** thanks, baby <3

 **gayforray:** but excuse me for now, my cousins threw pie at uncle and I need to go film it


	60. [interlude] identity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy thanksgiving day to all of you who celebrate it! 
> 
> i don't, obviously; nonetheless, it's a perfect opportunity to say, once again, how thankful i am for your kudos and comments and the amazingly wide audience on this fic. this has become the place to put all my legends headcanons and ideas, and i'm infinitely grateful you enjoy them as much as i do. it's unbelievable that in less than four months i already got as far as chapter 60. 
> 
> and now, a little sneak peek into the legends' thanksgiving dinner!

Wally pushed his chair back and stood up, all eyes on him. ‘Okay, so since I’m leaving, I think I should do the speech.’ He smiled, a little nervous and uncertain. He held his wine glass in toast, and the white wine almost sparkled. He took a deep breath. ‘On Thanksgiving, we list all the things we’re grateful for, and I can safely say I’m really grateful for the whole year with you guys.’ He caught a glimpse of a few smiles. ‘It was an awesome adventure, and I’m glad Rip convinced me to go with him, because if it weren’t for him, I would never have met Helen of Troy or young Obama, and I would never have met you and formed those beautiful friendships. I love our group chat.’ Now he smiled widely himself.

Nate chimed in, ‘Hell yeah!’ Pride glistened in Ray’s eyes; it was his invention, after all. Charlie, forced to join the dinner by the joint forces of Sara, Nora, and Ray, scoffed. The Union Jack t-shirt she was wearing emphasised her statement. Thinking his actions passed as unnoticed, Mick nibbled on the sweet potatoes.

‘So yeah. It was one of the best years of my life.’ He looked at his boyfriend, sitting on his right. He saw softness. Felt overwhelmed with even more emotions. ‘Secondly, I’m thankful for you, Rick, and Cisco for accidentally introducing us. I really admire you for dealing with your life the way you did and helping me figure out what I really wanted. You’re just—you’re amazing. I love you. And you guys too. It was amazing.’

Rick stood up and kissed him, murmuring ‘Love you too’ against his lips.

The Legends, seated round the table and the kitchen island, clapped, and then took a sip of their beverage of choice (wine, mostly, beer for Mick and apple juice for Zari) before Ava picked up the carving knife and as the host, carved up the large turkey Ray and Nate successfully prepared on the Waverider.

Watching her, Sara said, ‘We’ll miss you, Wally. You helped us a lot, and you make a great movie night companion.’

‘Damn right, bro,’ added Nate and walked round the table to Wally’s seat. ‘Come here.’ He hugged him. Then he quickly came back and kissed Ray on the top of his head as he walked past him.

‘It really was great, Wally,’ said Zari, and then grinned. ‘But at least I’ll keep all my high scores now.’

‘I’ll come back from time to time and make sure to beat all of them.’

She cast an unimpressed glance his way, but a smile played at her lips. ‘Not fair.’

‘Life’s hardly ever fair, love’ John shouted from the kitchen island, where he was sitting with Gary, perhaps also referring to his current situation. He liked being here no more than Charlie.

Ava was done with the turkey and put down the knife with a soft clink. Smells and steam wafted from the inside of it, filling the room with flavour and the proper atmosphere. ‘Let’s eat up,’ she said, and of course, Mick was the first to reach for the meat. He snatched a whole leg for himself. He topped his plate with mashed potatoes and even some of Nora’s casserole.

Wally went for the macaroni and cheese pan straightaway, saving the turkey for later. Seeing him, Rick lit up in delight; he had prepared the pasta. Wally had to admit he didn’t know how to cook many meals, but his mac and cheese were perfect. ‘Good choice,’ he said.

‘Bon appétit!’ said Ray before he dug in, with dignity, of course. Unlike Mick or Zari.

Wally hesitated before he started eating. He promised to tell them all before he left, and Rick agreed they would, and there was no better moment than now. ‘One more thing,’ he cleared his throat. ‘I know I’ve been really secretive about my relationship the entire time—’

‘That’s an understatement,’ Nate said, and Zari hummed in agreement.

‘To be fair, I don’t know why he made such fuss about my name, so don’t blame me.’ Rick looked round a little bit guiltily. The bowl of mashed potatoes landed on the table next to him, so he scooped up a ladleful.

‘I wanted to blow your minds,’ Wally replied. ‘Like I said, his name’s different on this Earth, but not so much. I thought you’d’ve guessed it by now.’

Nate looked at Rick. ‘Okay, so you’re a retired superhero with the name Rick.’ Then his eyes landed on Ray and Sara. ‘Let me think. I can do this,’ he lifted up his finger in concentration. ‘So Rick is short for Patrick in your case, but it can also be short for Richard. Other nicknames for Richard can be Ricky or Ritchie or, well, Dick, which is similar to Rick. And I know only one superhero with the name of Dick—’

‘You _have_ thought about this before,’ Zari stated.

He smirked. ‘Gideon and I have, yeah.’

With a fork of mashed potatoes paused mid-air, he rolled his eyes. ‘For God’s sake, my name’s Rick Grayson, now let’s eat.’

Sara almost choked on the turkey. She had said she knew Batman, so Wally suspected she had also met this Earth’s Robin at some point, be it under the mask or as Bruce Wayne’s protégée at one charity gala or another.

He winked at her. Then he finally started on the mac and cheese.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a) did you see that coming? did you? 😉 
> 
> b) so, this version of dick, or rick, didn't only stop being robin, but also left earth-18 altogether. he's met cisco at some point. he helped him out and also gave him the breach thingy, saying if he ever needs help, he can come. he did, and he stayed, leaving his old life behind completely. he never became nightwing and formed the titans. then he met wally. now when they're together, they might or might not go to earth-18, go back to being superheroes after, say, two years of chilling, and create the team with all members, kid flash included, unlike in the new show. 
> 
> c) i coincidentally happened to put on a union jack t-shirt when i came home today. my first thought was, 'this is really the only appropriate outfit i could choose for thanksgiving day, lol'. my second thought was, 'charlie would totally wear it to spite them all'. so she did. 
> 
> d) wally's departure in the show felt sort of odd and unexplained. sure, he talked about it a bit in the flash 05x01, but still, how does travelling the world beat time travel and adventures? it doesn't. he wouldn't just leave like this. i think they should've at least let him stick for one episode and given him a proper ending. but no. so here i am, giving him a better, valid reason to leave and go travelling and whatnot. it's been long enough since jesse, so writing one simple line saying, 'i've found someone and i want to be with them' isn't that hard. even if it's a girlfriend. it's better than no explanation at all. thanks for coming to my ted talk.


	61. we have a life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i went to see crimes of grindelwald yesterday (hence the lack of a chapter) and i'm still emotional, so naturally, i had to write a chapter about the legends seeing it (ft. another guest). enjoy! 
> 
>  
> 
> _warning: fantastic beasts: the crimes of grindelwald spoilers_

**2018/11/24**

 

 **gayforray:** who’s still emotional

 **Lancelot:** Dude, it’s 3 am

 **gayforray:** 2:49 am

 **gayforray:** I can’t stop thinking about it

 **notbarryallen:** about what

 **QueenZee:** you’re finally talking to us

 **notbarryallen:** we’re in tokyo

 **QueenZee:** we went to see fantastic beasts

 **notbarryallen:** without me????? it was out a week ago

 **Lancelot:** Well you should’ve said

 **notbarryallen:** kidding

 **notbarryallen:** before I left I had gideon upload all new movies till 2020 on a memory stick

 **QueenZee:** gasp

 **gayforray:** cheater

 **MamaWaverider:** He was very persuasive.

 **MiniDarhk:** I like that, breaking the rules

 **Trenchcoat:** You’re up all night because of a film

 **Lancelot:** Why are you up

 **Trenchcoat:** Sex

 **gare-bear:** We’re eating Chinese takeout in bed and watching The Exorcist

 **Trenchcoat:** But we did have sex too

 **MiniDarhk:** no you can’t just gloss over that

 **Lancelot:** Busted

 **MamaWaverider:** I did tell you he was _definitely_ soft.

 **gayforray:** nice

 **gayforray:** but why do you keep changing the subject I can’t believe Credence is a fucking DUMBLEDORE

 **notbarryallen:** 😮

 **QueenZee:** we been knew

 **gayforray:** well _you_ maybe

 **rayofsunshine:** The scenes with young Dumbledore and Grindelwald were so sad.

 **gayforray:** yeah, why can’t they just be gay and happy

 **QueenZee:** because if they were there wouldn’t even be any movies to make

 **MiniDarhk:** wake up

 **gayforray:** don’t tell me to wake up

 **MiniDarhk:** bish you know I’m right

 **rayofsunshine:** I agree, but it was still sad.

 **Lancelot:** But baby nifflers, am I right

 **gare-bear:** Their cuteness killed me

 **grunt:** I want to adopt one

 **QueenZee:** because they’re cute or because they steal everything

 **grunt:** both

 **notbarryallen:** mood

 **Lancelot:** Why can’t we ever meet a nice, cute fugitive like from Newt’s suitcase

 **gayforray:** I’d keep it

 **rayofsunshine:** I’d love to keep a Bowtruckle as a pet.

 **gayforray:** we’d raise it together

 **grunt:** I still want a niffler

 **QueenZee:** Gideon, can you make pets

 **MamaWaverider:** Alas, I can’t produce any living organisms.

 **QueenZee:** pity

 **notbarryallen:** I also want a niffler thanks

 **MiniDarhk:** we all do

 **Trenchcoat:** I don’t

 **gare-bear:** I do

 **QueenZee:** can you at least make a stuffed niffler

 **QueenZee:** Gideon

 **MamaWaverider:** That I can do, Miss Tomaz.

 **MiniDarhk:** great we’ll take three

 **notbarryallen:** you’re going hardcore

 **MiniDarhk:** 🙄

 **trickstergoddess:** what the fuck is going on

 **MiniDarhk:** ask nate

 **gayforray:** can’t a guy have movie feelings

 **trickstergoddess:** why now

 **Lancelot:** Don’t you know, we never sleep

 **MiniDarhk:** neither do you

 **trickstergoddess:** yeah im either drinking or hungover

 **grunt:** come drink with me

 **rayofsunshine:** But it’s 3 AM.

 **grunt:** so

 **grunt:** we’re not sleeping because of your boyfriend

 **gayforray:** ok forgiVE ME I’M SHOOK

 **QueenZee:** sleep on it, maybe you’ll dream about young Dumbledore

 **gayforray:** yes please

 **notbarryallen:** 😂

 **rayofsunshine:** 👀

 **gayforray:** Jude Law is hot af

 **Lancelot:** I agree

 **QueenZee:** I can’t unsee Dumbledore as the old guy

 **gayforray:** oh I can

 **notbarryallen:** crush

 **gayforray:** I’m not talking to you anymore

 **notbarryallen:** [ _image attached_ : sunsetintokyo.jpeg]

 **notbarryallen:** [ _image attached_ : myman.jpeg]

 **QueenZee:** is that right now

 **notbarryallen:** it’s 5 pm here

 **gayforray:** time zones are wild

 **MiniDarhk:** says a time traveler

 **gayforray:** you’re a time traveler

 **notbarryallen:** I found something on tumblr

 **notbarryallen:** [ _image attached_ : screenshot352.png]

 **QueenZee:** Nate that’s you

 **gayforray:** I feel attacked

 **MiniDarhk:** it’s true

 **Lancelot:** Wally has a tumblr?

 **QueenZee:** asking the right questions 👏

 **notbarryallen:** I love memes

 **rayofsunshine:** Surprisingly.

 **MiniDarhk:** haha

 **MiniDarhk:** we should go to sleep

 **notbarryallen:** you mean you, I’m going to a club

 **QueenZee:** hey

 **Lancelot:** A good way to start your self-discovery journey

 **notbarryallen:** right

 **notbarryallen:** this is tokyo, man

 **MiniDarhk:** you were there on wednesday

 **notbarryallen:** that was in 1951

 **grunt:** I’d go again

 **rayofsunshine:** Mick, did you really tell Honda about lizards?

 **grunt:** where have you heard that

 **rayofsunshine:** From Charlie, who told me you told her you told him.

 **grunt:** what

 **gayforray:** is Mick the reason we have Godzilla

 **gayforray:** awesome

 **trickstergoddess:** bloody right you are

 **notbarryallen:** wow, this is really wild

 **QueenZee:** always is, Wally

 **notbarryallen:** oh no this is Rick, Wally’s in the bathroom

 **Lancelot:** So you took his phone, juicy

 **notbarryallen:** call it natural curiosity

 **QueenZee:** so, robin 👀

 **notbarryallen:** what

 **notbarryallen:** I’m not him anymore

 **QueenZee:** so you want us to buy the whole jitters barista gig

 **notbarryallen:** you’re nosy

 **MiniDarhk:** we’ve been told, now spill

 **notbarryallen:** all I know about you is that Rory can eat a lot and you’re all dating each other

 **rayofsunshine:** That’s a good definition.

 **MiniDarhk:** SO you agree on the poly ship thing

 **rayofsunshine:**???

 **Lancelot:** I met Bruce Wayne once

 **Trenchcoat:** Me too, we shagged

 **notbarryallen:** didn’t everyone

 **Lancelot:** True that

 **QueenZee:** you must know some dirty secrets on Wally

 **notbarryallen:** I’m not saying

 **gayforray:** come on

 **gayforray:** how did you even meet

 **MiniDarhk:** he wouldn’t tell us _anything_

 **Lancelot:** Not even on Thanksgiving dinner

 **notbarryallen:** prying secrets from my bf, my my

 **MiniDarhk:** no we did nothing of the sort

 **QueenZee:** can’t really blame us though

 **Lancelot:** Hey, Wally

 **notbarryallen:** I’m kidding

 **notbarryallen:** and I’m out cause unlike you I have a life now

 **gayforray:** we have a life

 **QueenZee:** keep dreaming

 **Lancelot:** Ava and I have a life, we go on restaurant dates like other people

 **QueenZee:** and who’s talking about movies at 3 am

 **QueenZee:** hint: all of us

 **Trenchcoat:** Not me

 **MiniDarhk:** cause you’re watching a movie

 **notbarryallen:** just 👏 go 👏 to 👏 sleep 👏

 **Lancelot:** Hey, I’m the captain

 **Lancelot:** But he’s right, we should go to sleep

 **gayforray:** Gideon, tell me if I do dream about Dumbledore

 **QueenZee:** seriously

 **MamaWaverider:** Of course, Dr Heywood.

 **MiniDarhk:** did you see a wink in there

 **MamaWaverider:** Wouldn’t you like to know.

 **rayofsunshine:** Hey, what about me?

 **gayforray:** you can be in that dream too, I guess

 **notbarryallen:** lol

 **notbarryallen:** rick: how the fuck they ever get anything done is beyond my comprehension

 **notbarryallen:** me: without me they don’t

 **QueenZee:** hEY

 **gayforray:** we’re brilliant

 **MiniDarhk:** we’re better than you

 **notbarryallen:** keep living in under that illusion

 **QueenZee:** hEY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the tumblr post wally sent a screenshot of:  
> 


	62. 11:11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a rare chapter with all the characters in it :p enjoy!

**2018/11/25**

 

 **animalgirl:** [ _image attached_ : wedding1.jpeg]

 **animalgirl:** [ _image attached_ : wedding2.jpeg]

 **animalgirl:** [ _image attached_ : wedding3.jpeg]

 **animalgirl:** You asked for pictures, so here they are.

 **QueenZee:** three weeks ago

 **QueenZee:** but wow you’re beautiful

 **Lancelot:** Damn

 **grunt:** yeah

 **gayforray:** I don’t even know what to say

 **Lancelot:** Your husband is gorgeous too

 **trickstergoddess:** so youre the one whose face im wearing

 **animalgirl:** You’re Charlie, right? They told me about you.

 **trickstergoddess:** if youre expecting an apology youre not getting one, its not my fault

 **trickstergoddess:** and ive got used to wearing this mug

 **animalgirl:** I know it’s not your fault. And for what it’s worth, it’s a nice face.

 **QueenZee:** 👏

 **grunt:** gorgeous

 **notbarryallen:** crush, I’m telling you

 **gayforray:** are you still awake

 **notbarryallen:** in a different club but yeah

 **notbarryallen:** did you dream about dumbledore

 **gayforray:** no :(

 **Jaxon:** u saw fbtcog too

 **QueenZee:** yesterday

 **Jaxon:** i went with carly last week

 **notbarryallen:** not you too

 **Jaxon:** u should’ve said

 **notbarryallen:** I get it it’s my fault

 **QueenZee:** what time is it in Tokyo now

 **notbarryallen:** 1 am

 **Jaxon:** ur in tokyo huh

 **notbarryallen:** with rick

 **Jaxon:** did you tell them

 **QueenZee:** Rick told us himself, Wally was being a bitch

 **notbarryallen:** ;)

 **notbarryallen:** what time is it in america

 **gayforray:** 11:11

 **gayforray:** make a wish

 **MissTimeBureau:** I wish you stopped being childish idiots.

 **MiniDarhk:** you’re supposed to keep the wish to yourself

 **Lancelot:** Haha, really, Ava

 **MissTimeBureau:** It’s true most of the time and you know it.

 **Lancelot:** Then you must be glad you’re dating such a reasonable adult ;)

 **MissTimeBureau:** I’m not so sure about the “reasonable adult” at times.

 **Lancelot:** But you love me

 **MissTimeBureau:** I do <3

 **animalgirl:** You’re sweet.

 **trickstergoddess:** I wanna vomit

 **notbarryallen:** can I make a wish too

 **Jaxon:** id say it doesnt count

 **gayforray:** it’s 11:12 now anyway

 **gayforray:** you should go to sleep

 **notbarryallen:** you’re like the fourth person to tell me that

 **MiniDarhk:** then it’s true

 **animalgirl:** So, Charlie and Mick?

 **trickstergoddess:** whats to say, we have a connection

 **grunt:** that’s right

 **Lancelot:** Wait, is that for real

 **gayforray:** 👀

 **rayofsunshine:** Did something happen?

 **trickstergoddess:** did say he was mine

 **MiniDarhk:** but that was a… joke?

 **notbarryallen:** wow question mark

 **trickstergoddess:** you really are nosy

 **MamaWaverider:** I know about everything that happens on this ship, so naturally I know about this too, do you want me to give you the details?

 **MiniDarhk:** yes

 **gayforray:** yes

 **Lancelot:** Yes

 **trickstergoddess:** shut up gideon

 **gayforray:** we should write down some directives for this chat

 **gayforray:** 1 the legends are nosy and you can’t keep a secret from them

 **gayforray:** 2 the legends have no sense of privacy

 **MiniDarhk:** 3 the legends are colossal idiots who do nothing but watch movies and talk about them

 **QueenZee:** 4 the legends love food and gossip

 **notbarryallen:** who else is singing new rules right now

 **Lancelot:** You mean that Dua Lipa song

 **notbarryallen:** and if you’re under him you ain’t getting over him 👌

 **gayforray:** relatable

 **QueenZee:** 👀

 **trickstergoddess:** hhmmmm ray that good

 **gayforray:** curious are you

 **gayforray:** 5 the legends would all sleep with each other if they could

 **MiniDarhk:** I mean, we can

 **Lancelot:** Not this again

 **notbarryallen:** I have a suggestion

 **QueenZee:** I’m worried

 **notbarryallen:** play spin the bottle

 **rayofsunshine:** It’s 11:16 AM.

 **notbarryallen:** you don’t have to be drunk to do it

 **MiniDarhk:** you say that now when you’re not here and don’t have to do it

 **notbarryallen:** I would

 **notbarryallen:** it’s just kissing, right, no big deal

 **Lancelot:** We’re not doing that, what are we, teenagers

 **Trenchcoat:** You were a teenager two weeks ago

 **MissTimeBureau:** Don’t remind me of that.

 **gare-bear:** Is it just me or are you getting along

 **trickstergoddess:** where did you all come from

 **QueenZee:** they love to read this and pretend they don’t

 **QueenZee:** Slytherins

 **gare-bear:** I’m not a Slytherin

 **QueenZee:** you’re just the hufflepuff boyfriend but they are

 **MiniDarhk:** hiss hiss motherfuckers 🐍

 **QueenZee:** who else is a slyth

 **gayforray:** Mick

 **grunt:** and charlie

 **MiniDarhk:** we have the majority, good

 **gare-bear:** @gayforray at least there’s two of us

 **gayforray:** yay

 **rayofsunshine:** And I’m the only Ravenclaw. That’s not fair.

 **MamaWaverider:** If it’s any consolation, I would be in the Ravenclaw house too if I were a human.

 **rayofsunshine:** Thanks, Gideon.

 **Trenchcoat:** The directives really are on point

 **MiniDarhk:** yup we’re talking about movies again

 **MiniStein:** I’m a Ravenclaw too!

 **trickstergoddess:** who are you

 **MiniStein:** Oh, I’m Lily Stein, my father used to be a Legend.

 **rayofsunshine:** I miss him.

 **Jaxon:** yeah i miss gray too

 **QueenZee:** what a day, everyone’s here today

 **notbarryallen:** [ _image attached_ : goinghome.jpeg]

 **MiniStein:** That’s your boyfriend, right?

 **rayofsunshine:** You haven’t met him?

 **MiniStein:** No, I’ve been busy.

 **notbarryallen:** yeah that’s him

 **notbarryallen:** he got drunk

 **Lancelot:** And you didn’t have your speedster cocktail

 **notbarryallen:** No, just like 8 shots

 **trickstergoddess:** right you cant get drunk on regular alcohol

 **notbarryallen:** I love it and hate it at the same time

 **MiniDarhk:** tbh that’s mick too

 **grunt:** I definitely love it

 **QueenZee:** how can you drink every day

 **trickstergoddess:** it’s a way of life sweetheart

 **gayforray:** “sweetheart”

 **notbarryallen:** I’m wheezing

 **grunt:** I thought you hated each other

 **QueenZee:** we do

 **gare-bear:** John, why don’t you call me that too

 **Trenchcoat:** Do you want me to

 **QueenZee:** :o

 **gare-bear:** Nsdafndkssf yes

 **gayforray:** hey sugarbear

 **gare-bear:** What

 **rayofsunshine:** He clearly meant me.

 **notbarryallen:** lol

 **rayofsunshine:** What is it, pumpkin?

 **gayforray:** should we call each other that in front of everyone now

 **Lancelot:** Please don’t

 **MissTimeBureau:** It might be fun, honey.

 **MiniDarhk:** 😂

 **MiniDarhk:** zee zee 👀

 **QueenZee:** facepalms

 **QueenZee:** no I’m not doing this

 **gayforray:** yes, you are, _zee zee_

 **gare-bear:** Bgjdifns I’m sorry

 **trickstergoddess:** this is hilarious

 **trickstergoddess:** @grunt im calling you mickey now

 **grunt:** no you’re not

 **Trenchcoat:** I called him that first

 **grunt:** you called me potato head

 **Trenchcoat:** Oh I called you many things, muppet

 **gare-bear:** This isn’t what I think it is, right

 **grunt:** fuck no

 **Trenchcoat:** Wouldn’t’ve said it better

 **gayforray:** I was wrong

 **MiniDarhk:**?

 **gayforray:** not everyone would sleep with everyone

 **Lancelot:** You never know

 **MissTimeBureau:** I wouldn’t, nor would Zari.

 **QueenZee:** thanks

 **MiniDarhk:** you’re ruining it honey

 **QueenZee:** 😗

 **Jaxon:** lmao

 **gayforray:** I know

 **animalgirl:** You’ve gone wild since I’m away, darlings.

 **gayforray:** 👏

 **QueenZee:** there’s no one to keep us on a leash anymore

 **Lancelot:** Really

 **Lancelot:** No, I’m kidding, but we have work to do

 **gayforray:** okay mom

 **MissTimeBureau:** Mummy.

 **notbarryallen:** omg

 **MiniDarhk:** go to sleep, wally

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i've been thinking about making some edits for this fic, maybe moodboards or those totally-unreal-but-aesthetic-af instagram edits for the ships. what do you think?


	63. happy birthday, ava

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the last episode was honestly the best episode ever. the avalance scene at the beginning 👀 and hank singing to lull the minotaur to sleep. and nora and ava and mona bonding. i could go on.
> 
> i wanted to put one more chapter between the last one and the episode one, but i was making edits instead and then i got sick again so i couldn't. i'm lying in bed with a fever and cough and a headache as we speak, but i still took two hours to write this chapter for you, because i couldn't stop thinking about it. i hope you like it :)

****2018/11/26** **

 

 ** **gayforray:**** guys guys guys

 ** **gayforray:**** Hank is on board for an inspection

 ** **gayforray:**** hide the mess, look presentable, don’t be naked

 ** **notbarryallen**** : oof

 ** **QueenZee:**** got it

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** I love how “don’t be naked” is a relevant request

 ** **Lancelot:**** About that

 ** **QueenZee:**** I see, you were at Ava’s

 ** **Lancelot:**** Shut up

 ** **notbarryallen:**** exPOSED

 ** **MissTimeBureau:**** I STILL CAN’T BELIVE YOU DID THAT

 ** **gayforray:**** wow, caps lock

 ** **Lancelot:**** 😏😍

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** hey it’s probably not a good idea for him to see me here

 ** **QueenZee:**** you’re right

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** I’m supposed to be locked up

 ** **notbarryallen:**** lol I kinda forgot about that

 ** **trickstergoddess:**** why were you supposed to be locked up

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** long story

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** ava, I need a portal

 ** **MissTimeBureau:**** Uh, yeah, right away.

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** What are you going to do?

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** goodbye team, I’m going to jail

 ** **QueenZee:**** byeeee

 ** **gayforray:**** what did I say about being naked

 ** **gayforray:**** [ _ _image attached__ : constantine.jpeg]

 ** **Lancelot:**** For real

 ** **gare-bear:**** 😍

 ** **gayforray:**** where are you anyway

 ** **gare-bear:**** 368 AD, catching another creature

 ** **Lancelot:**** Okay I’m decent, let’s pretend I didn’t ninja escape Ava’s office right in front of Hank two minutes ago

 ** **grunt:**** what did you do

 ** **Lancelot:**** That’s between Ava and me ;)

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** wow this is cozy

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** [ _ _image attached__ : cell.jpeg]

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** I had no idea the Bureau kept the creatures in such horrible conditions…

 ** **grunt:**** they’re monsters

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** Not all of them are. Nora isn’t a monster, she’s a good person.

 ** **MissTimeBureau:**** Tell that to the rest of the Bureau.

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** ava

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** act like you despise me so it’s not suspicious

 ** **MissTimeBureau:**** That won’t be so hard.

 ** **gayforray:**** ohoho

 ** **QueenZee:**** hey

 ** **MissTimeBureau:**** It’s really not so hard to pretend I don’t like any of you, you know.

 ** **Lancelot:**** But you do

 ** **MissTimeBureau:**** I do. Except for Constantine.

 ** **Trenchcoat:**** Will you ever get over the fact I shagged Sara

 ** **MissTimeBureau:**** No.

 ** **trickstergoddess:**** so thats how it is

 ** **notbarryallen:**** so how’s it going

 ** **gayforray:**** dad wants to see a mission

 ** **notbarryallen:**** condolences

 ** **QueenZee:**** how are you

 ** **notbarryallen:**** in bed ;)

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** so am I but not in the good way

 ** **gayforray:**** are you still in Tokyo

 ** **notbarryallen:**** we’re staying for a month

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** Nice!

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** cute taco girl, what does she look like

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** cause I think she just brought me a stupid romance novel

 ** **MissTimeBureau:**** Yes, that’s Mona. She works here as a caretaker for the creatures now.

 ** **gayforray:**** like Hagrid 👀

 ** **MissTimeBureau:**** Kind of like Hagrid, if you put it that way.

 ** **gare-bear:**** Cool

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** no flirting with mona, gary

 ** **Trenchcoat:**** Why, I don’t mind

 ** **Lancelot:**** Really

 ** **Lancelot:**** Who am I kidding, it’s you

 ** **Lancelot:**** Anyway, we’re taking Hank to 1927 Paris

 ** **gare-bear:**** You’re going to the city of love and I’m stuck here :(

 ** **QueenZee:**** oh we’re not going anywhere

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** sidelined?

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** Yup, they don’t want us to cause a scene.

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** oh ray I’m sorry

 ** **trickstergoddess:**** this is a fun company

 ** **trickstergoddess:**** [ _ _image attached__ : losers.jpeg]

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** You learned how to take selfies? Nice.

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** I’m a good teacher

 ** **trickstergoddess:**** this modern technology is useful sometimes

 ** **QueenZee:**** yeah it is 😂

 ** **QueenZee:**** [ _ _video attached__ : americanaccent.mp4]

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** lol why are you trying to learn that

 ** **trickstergoddess:**** gotta pretend to be that amaya bird in front of nate’s daddy

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** welcome to my world

 ** **gare-bear:**** Is that John speaking in the background

 ** **Trenchcoat:**** /in a terrible accent/ yeah that’s right darlin

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** we doing a pet name battle again

 ** **QueenZee:**** NO

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** Why, that’s a cute idea, sweetie.

 ** **QueenZee:**** did you call my gf sweetie

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** 💜💙

 ** **gayforray:**** me confused

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** enjoy paris, hon

 ** **notbarryallen:**** lmao

 ** **notbarryallen:**** (Rick again) you’re weird

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** We’re proud to be weird.

 ** **grunt:**** you maybe

 ** **QueenZee:**** does this mean you found something

 ** **grunt:**** we found hemingway and the weird guy who paints the melting clocks

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** Salvador Dali? Oh man.

 ** **gayforray:**** save me

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** Baby, are you in danger?

 ** **gayforray:**** no but hank’s fangirling over hemingway __so hard__

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** Ah, you told me about that.

 ** **gayforray:**** he’s gonna ruin the mission

 ** **QueenZee:**** you don’t know that

 ** **gayforray:**** yeah I do

 ** **gayforray:**** Dali drew the creature and now they all want to go on a hunt

 ** **MissTimeBureau:**** Oh no.

 ** **Trenchcoat:**** Do you know which creature is it?

 ** **Lancelot:**** It’s Dali, so not really

 ** **Lancelot:**** Anyway, we’re going hunting!

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** I’m reading this awful book

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** it’s oddly captivating

 ** **QueenZee:**** what’s it about

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** love

 ** **notbarryallen:**** duh

 ** **notbarryallen:**** I wanna see dali’s drawing

 ** **gayforray:**** [ _ _image attached__ : drawing.jpeg]

 ** **notbarryallen:**** weird

 ** **trickstergoddess:**** its a minotaur

 ** **Trenchcoat:**** Course it is

 ** **Trenchcoat:**** I know what to do with the bad boy

 ** **gayforray:**** great, come quickly

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** trust the legends to liveblog every mission

 ** **QueenZee:**** mood

 ** **Rayofsunshine:**** That’s exactly why I created this chat in the first place, so we could communicate in trouble.

 ** **Lancelot:**** Guys, Hank got hurt, we’re coming back on the ship

 ** **QueenZee:**** shit

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** How bad?

 ** **gayforray:**** a slash in the shoulder

 ** **MamaWaverider:**** He’ll be as good as new right away, Dr Heywood.

 ** **gayforray:**** thanks, Gideon

 ** **gayforray:**** we have to stop the Minotaur

 ** **Trenchcoat:**** Working on it

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** speaking of trouble

 ** **QueenZee:**** 👀

 ** **MissTimeBureau:**** There was a power failure and we’re stuck in this cell.

 ** **Lancelot:**** You and Nora? You got that, Aves

 ** **MissTimeBureau:**** Me, Nora, and Mona.

 ** **QueenZee:**** ah

 ** **gayforray:**** what happened

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** it’s my fault, I

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** I slipped and broke the mechanisms using some sort of power I didn’t know I had

 ** **MissTimeBureau:**** Come and help us?

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** mona keeps asking who we’re texting and how come I have a phone

 ** **QueenZee:**** yikes

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** I’ll find a way to help you! I’m great with electronics.

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** thx

 ** **notbarryallen:**** why do you always get yourselves into more trouble, I don’t understand

 ** **gayforray:**** we’re not speedsters to outrun things, Wally

 ** **QueenZee:**** like you didn’t get into trouble

 ** **Lancelot:**** Saving people, hunting things, the family business

 ** **Lancelot:**** It always goes wrong but that’s what we’re good at

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** Did you just use a Supernatural reference?

 ** **gare-bear:**** She did

 ** **Lancelot:**** Okay chill out

 ** **gayforray:**** it fits

 ** **trickstergoddess:**** what are you on about

 ** **gayforray:**** we have yet to introduce you to our TV shows

 ** **trickstergoddess:**** loki save me

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** haha

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** ava pretending to hate me and yelling at mona for bringing a book is kinda hot

 ** **Lancelot:**** She’s mine

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** I’m just stating a fact

 ** **trickstergoddess:**** you having fun in that prison

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** kinda

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** it just got good

 ** **QueenZee:**** how so

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** [ _ _video attached__ : happybirthday.mp4]

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** It’s Ava’s birthday?

 ** **QueenZee:**** happy birthday @MissTimeBureau

 ** **notbarryallen:**** @MissTimeBureau happy bday 😄

 ** **gayforray:**** so that’s why Sara was wearing lingerie

 ** **Lancelot:**** You saw that???

 ** **gayforray:**** might’ve

 ** **gayforray:**** you have nothing to be ashamed of, that’s for sure

 ** **Lancelot:**** Kill me now

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** Happy birthday, Ava!

 ** **MissTimeBureau:**** Why.

 ** **QueenZee:**** rude much

 ** **MissTimeBureau:**** I don’t like birthdays and I don’t like being locked up here.

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** I’m having fun

 ** **gayforray:**** cause you love gossip

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** shrug

 ** **trickstergoddess:**** this is fun to read

 ** **QueenZee:**** and this is fun to watch [ _ _video attached__ : research.mp4]

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** you’re gonna newt scamander the minotaur

 ** **gayforray:**** :o

 ** **gayforray:**** yeah baby

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** mona would love to see this

 ** **QueenZee:**** so you’re friends now

 ** **gare-bear:**** I know, she’s great

 ** **gare-bear:**** She’s such a Hufflepuff sunshine

 ** **Lancelot:**** Newt Scamander

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** yeaH

 ** **gare-bear:**** You could add her to this?

 ** **notbarryallen:**** another crush 👀

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** She doesn’t even know us.

 ** **gayforray:**** she knows me, Gary and Ava

 ** **gayforray:**** and you love adding new people

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** That’s true.

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** funny thing, ray

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** she ships us so hard and I’m internally wheezing

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** OMG, what?

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** should I tell her

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** about you and nate and me and zari

 ** **Lancelot:**** No, let’s make this interesting

 ** **QueenZee:**** wicked

 ** **MissTimeBureau:**** She’s an unstoppable force.

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** who just opened a bottle of wine so I guess we’re good

 ** **notbarryallen:**** sounds wild

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** So you don’t need me to save you anymore?

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** we do but you can take your time

 ** **MissTimeBureau:**** How’s the Minotaur?

 ** **gayforray:**** asleep

 ** **gayforray:**** we pulled a Newt and it worked

 ** **Trenchcoat:**** Thanks to who

 ** **gayforray:**** it was a team effort

 ** **Lancelot:**** 😂

 ** **Lancelot:**** So, Ava, now that we’re done here, can we continue where we left off

 ** **MissTimeBureau:**** I’m still stuck here so unless you come and rescue me…?

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** but we’re having cake

 ** **Lancelot:**** My cake?

 ** **MissTimeBureau:**** It’s from you?

 ** **Lancelot:**** Yeah, babe <3

 ** **Lancelot:**** And well, we’ll see what I can do ;)

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** sorry ray

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** Nah, I’m used to being everyone’s second choice by now.

 ** **gayforray:**** you’re always my first choice <3

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** <3

 ** **gayforray:**** pizza party?

 ** **QueenZee:**** yes please

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** wait for us

 ** **gayforray:**** not fair, you didn’t even do anything

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** we successfully hid from your dad

 ** **gayforray:**** good point

 ** **Lancelot:**** Okay, I’m opening a portal to the bureau

 ** **MissTimeBureau:**** Yay.

 ** **Lancelot:**** And then I can finally give you that birthday present

 ** **gayforray:**** pizza party first, sex later, please

 ** **Lancelot:**** Ugh fine


	64. [interlude] truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the previous chapter inspired me to write a bit of my version of the conversation between mona, nora, and ava. so here you go!

‘Seriously, who do you keep texting, guys?’ Mona asked, looking at Nora and Ava, both focused on the conversation on their phones. ‘And how come Nora gets to have a phone, you didn’t even want me to give her a book.’

‘About that—’ Ava started, but Nora interrupted her, ‘Let’s just stop beating around the bush, Ava.’

They exchanged a few looks, having an entire conversation. That was strange. Too familiar.

‘What’s going on?’ she asked.

‘I’m not really locked up here. It’s just an act for Hank Heywood,’ Nora answered, and that was honestly the last thing Mona would think of.

‘W—what? Really?’

‘Yeah, I live on the Waverider, with the Legends. We’re texting the Legends, right, Ava?’ Nora turned to the Director, who frowned at her disapprovingly. And then she relaxed.

‘Yeah, there’s a group chat Ray created. They use it more often than they should if we’re being honest.’ She walked over to the bunk and sat down next to Nora.

‘But it’s _so great_.’

‘If Constantine isn’t in it.’

Nora rolled her eyes. ‘Come on, John isn’t that bad. He’s nice when you get him to open.’ Ava raised her eyebrow in slight disgust. ‘Not what I meant and you know it.’

Mona asked, ‘You know John Constantine?’

‘That’s the only thing you want to ask about after we tell you all this?’ Nora replied and then typed something on her mobile.

‘If the Legends have a group chat I know I already love them.’ Mona excitedly moved to sit next to Nora on the bunk, trying to see if she could see some of it. ‘But really, you know Constantine?’

‘He’s a Legend, lives with us.’

‘Wow.’ Mona smiled in awe.

‘How do __you__ know about him?’ Ava asked, leaning forward so she could see her behind Nora. She tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear.

‘Really, Ava? He’s like the Beyoncé of the mystical world.’

Nora nudged her arm. ‘Then you’re gonna love this,’ she said. ‘He’s actually dating Gary the goofy idiot.’

If she were drinking something, she’d spit it right out. ‘Gary? This Gary?’

Ava shook her head. ‘I still don’t like that.’

‘Okay, well, that’s a bit of a shock. I didn’t think Gary dated anyone, or that he was, you know—’

‘Bi,’ Ava offered, knowing what Mona was about to say.

Nora took both of her shoulders in her hands and gently guided her towards herself. ‘You didn’t __like__  him, did you?’ She looked her in the eye.

Mona cocked her head. ‘Well, he did ask me to spend Thanksgiving with him…’

‘Oh no, honey,’ Nora pulled her in for a hug. ‘It’ll get better though, I swear.’

She sighed. ‘I guess… But I have one more question now,’ she pulled away, ‘when you live on the Waverider, are you and Ray actually secretly together?’

‘There’s nothing between Ray and me.’

‘Sure there is! You’re like, my OTP.’

‘Okay, I’m flattered, but seriously, we’re not together.’ Nora’s phone buzzed repeatedly, so she let go of Mona and unlocked it. With a smirk, she typed two texts. Ava was ignoring them altogether; she was replying to the birthday messages she got.

Mona took that as an opportunity to get up and bring the bottle of rosé that came with the birthday cake. ‘I need to know more, and I think opening this bottle is perfect for that.’

Ava looked up. ‘Yes, please.’

‘If you think you can convince me that I have feelings for Ray, you’re wrong.’

Mona unscrewed the bottle—good thing it wasn’t corked. ‘We’ll see about that.’


	65. :o :o :o

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who joins the chat
> 
> enjoy!

**2018/11/28**

 

 ** **gayforray** ** _added_ ****monalisa** ** _to_ ****World’s Biggest Poly SHIP** **

 

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** it’s HERE

 ** **gare-bear:**** Hiiiii

 ** **monalisa:**** hey guys 👋

 ** **monalisa:**** I’m mona in case you don’t know me

 ** **gayforray:**** welcome

 ** **MissTimeBureau:**** Oh no.

 ** **notbarryallen:**** wow more new people

 ** **monalisa:**** so you’re the legends

 ** **Lancelot:**** Yup, that’s us

 ** **gare-bear:**** I’m an intern legend

 ** **monalisa:**** gary?

 ** **Trenchcoat:**** You must be the time bureau bird my boyfriend keeps flirting with

 ** **monalisa:**** so I wasn’t reading it wrong 👀

 ** **QueenZee:**** I see you’re already one of us

 ** **gayforray:**** eyes emoji squad

 ** **gare-bear:**** I couldn’t help it

 ** **monalisa:**** @Trenchcoat nice to meet you again, well, not meet, but you know

 ** **QueenZee:**** you’re famous

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** she stans you

 ** **Trenchcoat:**** She what

 ** **gayforray:**** ahh, urban dictionary

 ** **monalisa:**** so hey is it too much to ask if I want an introduction cause all I heard about you was from gary

 ** **QueenZee:**** he was probably exaggerating

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** I’m nora, obviously

 ** **MissTimeBureau:**** Ava. And I’m still your boss.

 ** **gayforray:**** mine too ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 ** **notbarryallen:**** I see you learned how to google that

 ** **notbarryallen:**** I’m wally and I’m an ex-legend

 ** **Jaxon:**** its jax & same here

 ** **gayforray:**** this is Nate

 ** **gayforray:**** my name must be confusing haha

 ** **monalisa:**** it IS

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** this is where it gets funnier

 ** **QueenZee:**** I’ve been waiting for it

 ** **QueenZee:**** I’m Zari btw

 ** **Lancelot:**** Sara, the captain

 ** **grunt:**** mick rory

 ** **Trenchcoat:**** You know me, love

 ** **trickstergoddess:**** im charlie and im a shifter stuck with the face of nates ex

 ** **monalisa:**** aww I always wanted to meet a shapeshifter

 ** **monalisa:**** also wait does that mean you’re harboring a magical creature the bureau doesn’t know about

 ** **MissTimeBureau:**** Shh. This stays between us.

 ** **QueenZee:**** where’s Ray, anyway

 ** **MiniDarhk:****?

 ** **gayforray:**** he went to star city to get something, idk, he was kinda shady

 ** **monalisa:**** I bet it was sth for nora

 ** **trickstergoddess:**** possible

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** okay, ray and I aren’t dating, mona

 ** **monalisa:**** but you have feelings for him

 ** **gayforray:**** everyone has feelings for him

 ** **QueenZee:**** the saga

 ** **monalisa:**** nate you still haven’t explained

 ** **gayforray:**** yeah we’re dating

 ** **monalisa:**** :o :o :o

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** see

 ** **Lancelot:**** It was a running joke until it happened

 ** **QueenZee:**** you should’ve seen this chat at the beginning

 ** **QueenZee:**** ALSO

 ** **QueenZee:**** guess who Nora is actually dating

 ** **monalisa:**** ava?

 ** **grunt:**** ava’s dating blondie

 ** **Lancelot:**** That would be me

 ** **monalisa:**** this is crazy

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** sorry ava but… lol no

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** [ _image attached_ : nora&zari.jpeg]

 ** **notbarryallen:**** adorable

 ** **monalisa:**** I’m speechless

 ** **gayforray:**** that’s rare

 ** **Lancelot:**** We’re gay and we’re proud of it

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** There’s not a single straight legend.

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** Hello, I’m back. And there’s a new member. Hi!

 ** **monalisa:**** hi ray

 ** **QueenZee:**** we also love movies and tv shows

 ** **grunt:**** it’s all they ever talk about

 ** **Trenchcoat:**** And if they don’t, they’re watching them

 ** **gayforray:**** we, John, we

 ** **gayforray:**** I can’t believe doctor who copied us

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** right

 ** **Lancelot:**** How dare they

 ** **QueenZee:**** they even used the weird roots and the threat that wasn’t a witch

 ** **monalisa:**** you’re talking about the last episode?

 ** **gayforray:**** yup

 ** **gayforray:**** we were on a case involving witch hunts a month ago

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** speaking of movies

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** sara called you newt scamander yesterday

 ** **monalisa:**** that’s so sweet

 ** **gare-bear:**** I’m calling you that now

 ** **monalisa:**** ndksnf ok

 ** **monalisa:**** did you notice there is sth between ray and nora tho, like, for real

 ** **notbarryallen:**** ages ago

 ** **QueenZee:**** look at the name of the group and then come to talk to us

 ** **monalisa:**** 😂

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** you’re really going for it, huh

 ** **Trenchcoat:**** What did I say two weeks ago

 ** **Lancelot:**** You’re just weird and we’re not listening to you

 ** **grunt:**** ha burn

 ** **gare-bear:**** It’s gonna be okay

 ** **Trenchcoat:**** Ta

 ** **trickstergoddess:**** wanna have a pint, mick

 ** **grunt:**** fuck yeah

 ** **Trenchcoat:**** I want a pint too

 ** **grunt:**** get your own, weasel

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** @monalisa we kinda agreed we all would do each other and that’s a fact

 ** **notbarryallen:**** you should get drunk and play spin the bottle

 ** **QueenZee:**** stop with that already

 ** **QueenZee:**** aren’t you supposed to be asleep

 ** **notbarryallen:**** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 ** **monalisa:**** it’s 11 am

 ** **notbarryallen:**** I’m in tokyo

 ****monalisa:** ** _the home of anime_

 ** **notbarryallen:**** are you my soulmate

 ** **Lancelot:**** Haha

 ** **gayforray:**** thought rick was your soulmate

 ** **notbarryallen:**** I can have two

 ** **monalisa:**** just as ray can date two people 👀

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** mona come on

 ** **QueenZee:**** and the shipping agenda starts anew

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** You’re weirdly okay with this.

 ** **QueenZee:**** it’s called being open-minded

 ** **gayforray:**** speaking of

 ** **gayforray:**** is it just me or is there sexual tension between Z and Charlie

 ** **QueenZee:**** there is _no_ sexual tension between me and _anyone_

 ** **trickstergoddess:**** youre onto something mate

 ** **notbarryallen:**** let’s forget about you being ace for a bit

 ** **notbarryallen:**** I think there was something

 ** **QueenZee:**** what have I done

 ** **Lancelot:**** 😮 Mick, Charlie, Zari, Nora, Ray and Nate could be together in any combination and it would still make sense 😮

 ** **QueenZee:**** not you toooooo

 ** **grunt:**** interesting

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** indeed

 ** **gayforray:**** have we told you about the time we created a Beebo with our totems together and Mick was like, worst orgy ever

 ** **notbarryallen:**** I remember that 😂

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** I was there but

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** not that bit???

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** That was Sara, Nate, Wally, Zari, Amaya, and Mick, right?

 ** **gayforray:**** I thought you were there too

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** I was with Damien Darhk trying to save Nora from Mallus.

 ** **gayforray:**** right, that’s true

 ** **gayforray:**** Mick said I had girly hands

 ** **grunt:**** you do

 ** **MissTimeBureau:**** Mona, this is on you.

 ** **monalisa:**** sorry……,

 ** **monalisa:**** I la-la-love beebo

 ** **gare-bear:**** Me too!

 ** **gayforray:**** he’s got a blanket with beebo

 ** **QueenZee:**** two, John took one, remember

 ** **Trenchcoat:**** Sure, spill my dark secrets

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** gideon did

 ** **notbarryallen:**** john 👏 is 👏 soft 👏

 ** **Lancelot:**** Only when it comes to Gary

 ** **Trenchcoat:**** And it does a lot

 ** **gayforray:**** John ffs

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** he can make an innuendo out of anything, don’t you know that

 ** **monalisa:**** that’s useful information

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** mona: john’s #1 stan

 ** **gare-bear:**** So if it came down to it you’d be up for a threesome

 ** **monalisa:**** with you and john constantine? you fucking bet gary

 ** **Lancelot:**** That’s a good one

 ** **grunt:**** I like this one

 ** **QueenZee:**** calls for a celebration

 ** **Trenchcoat:**** Are you serious, love?

 ** **monalisa:**** halfway

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** explain

 ** **monalisa:**** they’re great but I haven’t really…done this before

 ** **Trenchcoat:**** Sex?

 ** **monalisa:**** with two people

 ** **Trenchcoat:**** It only makes it better

 ** **Lancelot:**** 👍

 ** **MissTimeBureau:**** Sara?

 ** **Lancelot:**** We all have a past

 ** **MissTimeBureau:**** I’m not going to ask.

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** for the record, ava and I are still the coolest people you met, right

 ** **monalisa:**** of course you are! you’re the best!

 ** **monalisa:**** but john comes third

 ** **QueenZee:**** ahem

 ** **QueenZee:**** no more innuendo material please

 ** **gayforray:**** _you_ read it that way

 ** **Lancelot:**** Good point

 ** **Trenchcoat:**** Z’s right, so did I ;)

 ** **QueenZee:**** see

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** Erm, guys.

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** There’s something you don’t want to see, so don’t go into the kitchen.

 ** **gayforray:**** 👀

 ** **MamaWaverider:**** I believe Mr Rory and Charlie are engaging in intimate activities.

 ** **QueenZee:**** WHAT

 ** **notbarryallen:**** wow

 ** **gayforray:**** oh man

 ** **monalisa:**** in the kitchen?

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** @rayofsunshine now you know how we felt when you and nate did it

 ** **Lancelot:**** I’m pretty sure I remember you wanting to watch

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** so what

 ** **monalisa:**** 👀

 ** **gayforray:**** yeah I’m sorry

 ** **notbarryallen:**** otp got together

 ** **QueenZee:**** Wally 😂

 ** **notbarryallen:**** the john/gary/mona ot3 is next

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> constantine was in a canon poly relationship in the comics and that's a fact


	66. mothman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the title says it all. enjoy!
> 
> also. this fic is longer than the second hp book i'm

****2018/11/30** **

 

 ** **QueenZee:**** fuck my life

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** what happened

 ** **gayforray:**** you okay

 ** **QueenZee:**** I made a baguette with cream cheese and tomatoes and wanted to take it to my room

 ** **QueenZee:**** and you know how the top is round

 ** **QueenZee:**** it wiggled

 ** **QueenZee:**** and it fell on the floor cheese side down

 ** **notbarryallen:**** lol I didn’t see that coming

 ** **grunt:**** five second rule

 ** **monalisa:**** that rule is stupid, there’s germs on it now

 ** **QueenZee:**** also dirt, hair and god knows what else

 ** **Lancelot:**** Yikes

 ** **QueenZee:**** [ _ _image attached__ : yeet.jpeg]

 ** **monalisa:**** this bitch empty

 ** **gare-bear:**** You like vines 👀

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** I bet you’re wondering whether you like her or john more

 ** **gare-bear:**** how

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** warlock

 ** **notbarryallen:**** you know what I said

 ** **trickstergoddess:**** amen

 ** **gayforray:**** how was Mick

 ** **trickstergoddess:**** great

 ** **QueenZee:**** you were in the kitchen for two hours

 ** **grunt:**** I’m not gonna apologize

 ** **Lancelot:**** So are you like together or just casually fucking

 ** **trickstergoddess:**** im not gonna define anything yet

 ** **monalisa:**** so you can still be with zari

 ** **notbarryallen:**** mona is the true captain of all ships

 ** **QueenZee:**** we’re in functional relationships already, thanks

 ** **monalisa:**** I’m just saying

 ** **monalisa:**** I love love

 ** **gayforray:**** b99 reference?

 ** **monalisa:**** yes

 ** **gayforray:**** noice

 ** **monalisa:**** toit

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** Have you ever been to Comic Con?

 ** **monalisa:**** every year, buddy

 ** **QueenZee:**** what he means is, you have to come for game night

 ** **monalisa:**** you have game night? c o o l

 ** **Trenchcoat:**** It’s miserable

 ** **gare-bear:**** You love it and you know it

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** ^^

 ** **notbarryallen:**** john pretending he hates all the team antics is an eternal mood

 ** **Trenchcoat:**** I am NOT a team player

 ** **QueenZee:**** lies

 ** **QueenZee:**** where have you been each time we had a party?

 ** **gayforray:**** on it 👉👉

 ** **Trenchcoat:**** Fine, you got me alright

 ** **Lancelot:**** Team

 ** **Lancelot:**** Bones alert

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** Again?

 ** **monalisa:**** is that what you call a new mission

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** I wired John’s magical bones to Gideon so she’d give us an alert when the bones feel the presence of magic.

 ** **monalisa:**** cool

 ** **QueenZee:**** what is it

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** 9/11

 ** **QueenZee:**** oH

 ** **monalisa:**** are you thinking what I’m thinking

 ** **Lancelot:**** What are you thinking

 ** **monalisa:**** mothman was allegedly spotted at 9/11

 ** **gayforray:**** MOTHMAN

 ** **trickstergoddess:**** sounds like a bloody superhero name

 ** **notbarryallen:**** like batman

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** he has wings too

 ** **notbarryallen:**** batman doesn’t have wings tho

 ** **Lancelot:**** It says there was a winged creature with red eyes

 ** **monalisa:**** definitely mothman

 ** **QueenZee:**** where have you been this entire time

 ** **gayforray:**** you could’ve saved us a lot of time and injuries

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** But isn’t it weird that we get called to an official sighting of a creature? We usually stopped them causing damage to the timeline because they were __out__ of the timeline.

 ** **Trenchcoat:**** Palmer’s got a point

 ** **grunt:**** who cares, let’s do this

 ** **trickstergoddess:**** youre eager to go out there

 ** **gayforray:**** are you a fan of Mothman, Mick?

 ** **grunt:**** none of your business, pretty

 ** **Lancelot:**** Alright kids, are you dressed

 ** **QueenZee:**** almost there 👍

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** Yes, mom.

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** it’s 2001, we don’t even have to change

 ** **QueenZee:**** I’m putting on wide leg jeans

 ** **gayforray:**** everyone wore those 

 ** **QueenZee:**** I didn’t cause I wasn’t born yet

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** same here

 ** **notbarryallen:**** you were born in 2002

 ** **monalisa:**** you guys are both from the future too? that’s so amazing

 ** **QueenZee:**** wouldn’t be if you saw it

 ** **monalisa:**** ok now I’m scared

 ** **monalisa:**** I also wanna see mothman

 ** **Lancelot:**** We’ll bring him to the Time Bureau once we capture him

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** What does Mothman eat?

 ** **monalisa:**** people

 ** **monalisa:**** and dogs

 ** **monalisa:**** but like with baba yaga, veal will be enough

 ** **QueenZee:**** great

 ** **QueenZee:**** so we’re on our way

 ** **gayforray:**** can we pull a newt on this one

 ** **monalisa:**** uhhhh don’t run or move quickly? and pacify him with meat

 ** **Lancelot:**** Time to be bait again

 ** **trickstergoddess:**** youve got to be joking

 ** **QueenZee:**** you’re supposed to know everything about all the creatures

 ** **trickstergoddess:**** never met mothman in my prison

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** that explains a lot

 ** **Lancelot:**** Wow 2001 brings back memories

 ** **notbarryallen:**** how old were you, 10

 ** **Lancelot:**** 14

 ** **Lancelot:**** Just started high school

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** I was just 20 and about to get my master’s. I remember hearing about the attack on the news…

 ** **gayforray:**** you never told me you got your first master’s in 20, baby

 ** **gayforray:**** didn’t know you could get any smarter 😍

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** Well…

 ** **gayforray:**** I was a senior in 2001

 ** **gayforray:**** all the flashbacks

 ** **gare-bear:**** Imagine if all met in high school

 ** **QueenZee:**** we’re from different time periods and of different age, not possible

 ** **gare-bear:**** No but just imagine

 ** **monalisa:**** like an au

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** dear lord

 ** **Lancelot:**** Ava and I would be the school enemies who’d fall in love in senior year

 ** **QueenZee:**** let’s play along with the family thing

 ** **QueenZee:**** nora would be the troubled outsider quickly adopted into our friend group

 ** **gayforray:**** Ray and I the geek bros who are definitely in love but don’t realize shit

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** john is the exchange program loser who doesn’t really fit in but sleeps with everyone

 ** **gare-bear:**** I’m the geek who’s 100% in love with him and thinks he doesn’t have a chance until one day

 ** **grunt:**** I’m the guy who always stays in detention

 ** **notbarryallen:**** jax and I are football jocks

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** He did actually play football.

 ** **Lancelot:**** I played soccer

 ** **gayforray:**** really 👀

 ** **Lancelot:**** We’d be a cool group

 ** **Lancelot:**** But let’s focus on the mission now, we have twenty minutes until the attack

 ** **monalisa:**** this is kinda sad when you think about it

 ** **gayforray:**** it’s the burden of time travel

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** It’s not always fun and games.

 ** **QueenZee:**** only most of the time

 ** **notbarryallen:**** lol you get the spirit

 ** **grunt:**** don’t see any mothmans yet

 ** **monalisa:**** have you brought the meat

 ** **monalisa:**** it should draw him to you

 ** **QueenZee:**** Mick has it

 ** **notbarryallen:**** make sure he doesn’t eat it 😁

 ** **grunt:**** not even I’d eat raw meat, kid

 ** **notbarryallen:**** k just in case

 ** **QueenZee:**** [ _ _image attached__ : mothman.mp4]

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** he here

 ** **monalisa:**** right at the center like the reports said

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** and he fast

 ** **monalisa:**** don’t run guys

 ** **QueenZee:**** he’s eating Mick’s meat

 ** **Lancelot:**** And people are watching

 ** **gare-bear:**** Just flash them later

 ** **gayforray:**** this just occurred to me

 ** **gayforray:**** did the bureau take inspiration in men in black

 ** **gare-bear:**** Yeah, we copied it all

 ** **gayforray:**** I approve

 ** **monalisa:**** so did you catch him?

 ** **Trenchcoat:**** About that

 ** **QueenZee:**** he saw something in the sky, screeched, and flew away

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** Oh boy, it’s coming.

 ** **Lancelot:**** Wait, is he…?

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** he’s trying to stop the plane 

 ** **gayforray:**** we… have to let that happen don’t we

 ** **Lancelot:**** We need a new plan

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** I never thought I’d be here and now

 ** **notbarryallen:**** ok I wouldn’t want to be in your position

 ** **grunt:**** where’s the hawk chick now when we need her

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** I’ll do it. I can fly in my suit.

 ** **monalisa:**** this is depressing you guys

 ** **monalisa:**** but there’s something about the legend of mothman no one knew and we now do

 ** **gare-bear:**** Yes, always focus on the good things

 ** **trickstergoddess:**** if this is what the future looks like I dont like it

 ** **QueenZee:**** wait till you see my future

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** this really got… dark

 ** **gayforray:**** can’t expect anything else from 9/11

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** high school au? anyone?

 ** **monalisa:**** unicorns

 ** **QueenZee:**** no they’re evil

 ** **monalisa:**** aw no, not unicorns

 ** **gare-bear:**** A unicorn bit off my nipple

 ** **gayforray:**** stop talking about that

 ** **monalisa:**** a unicorn did what

 ** **gare-bear:**** I’ll show you if you want

 ** **QueenZee:**** wow subtle

 ** **Trenchcoat:**** I taught him a thing of two, didn’t I

 ** **monalisa:**** see how it improved your mood

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** we don’t deserve you

 ** **monalisa:**** stop that, you’re making me blush

****notbarryallen: 👀** **

****monalisa:**** shut up, wally, we’re friends

 ** **QueenZee:**** already picked up our habits, I see

 ** **monalisa:**** I kind of get you now

 ** **monalisa:**** mothman updates?

 ** **gayforray:**** Ray got him, and well, you know what happens next

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** I can’t watch this

 ** **Jaxon:**** oh man ur at 9/11

 ** **Jaxon:**** yikes

 ** **Jaxon:**** also were u taking abt a high school au

 ** **QueenZee:**** Gary started it

 ** **QueenZee:**** I accidentally typed gay and well that summarizes it nicely too 😂

 ** **Jaxon:**** lmao

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** Guys, Sara’s here. She ran towards it.

 ** **Lancelot:**** I’m trying to help the victims and you could too

 ** **gayforray:**** we shouldn’t have separated

 ** **monalisa:**** unicorns?

 ** **QueenZee:**** you can’t help, sunshine

 ** **QueenZee:**** we’re going there

 ** **monalisa:**** ok…

 ** **notbarryallen:**** guys

 ** **notbarryallen:**** you ok

 ** **monalisa:****???

 ** **Jaxon:**** yo what happened

 ** **gayforray:**** we’re mostly fine but… Sara got hurt

 ** **gayforray:**** we’re taking her to the medbay while Gary’s taking Mothman to the bureau

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just wanted to write about mothman not make it sad but...........plot bunnies
> 
> and yes the high school talk was inspired by that slow burn avalance hs au we all read, i couldn't resist lol


	67. [interlude] light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **for ellah** , who asked for a zaridarhk (pass it on) non-chat chapter. enjoy!

She thought it would get better. She hoped it would. It’s been long enough—then why didn’t it? Why couldn’t she shake off the ghost of Malice and her father and his sacrifice and the unimaginable power in her that was just now getting out and manifesting in its full—

‘Hey, hey, Nor,’ Zari said and squeezed her hand, a welcome reassurance that she wasn’t _lost_ , ‘take a deep breath. It’s gonna be okay.’

Nora’s voice trembled when she replied, ‘I’m sorry, I’m—’

‘Spiralling, yeah, I know.’ She turned over to face her, hand still grasping Nora’s. ‘I can feel your heartbeat. Look,’ she shuffled even closer, ‘I’m still not good at this pep talk thing, but I’ve been where you are many times over. You’re thinking about Mallus again, aren’t you?’

God, she was pathetic. How many times have they had this conversation? Or with Ray? In bed in the middle of the night? She stopped counting. The demons always came back. No matter how much she wanted to, she couldn’t drown them. Or him, singular. She carried on like a Legend, fought the evil, joined the parties, played the games, gathered gossip, watched movies, tried to learn to control her powers with John; but in the end, the darkness flourished.

‘Yeah, I,’ she closed her eyes, ‘I had a dream. I was back _there_ , in the emptiness, and then we were in New York on 9/11 and it was my fault that the buildings fell down. I wanted to help but unleashed this devastating power instead, and it—Sara, she—then I woke up. I’m sorry I woke you up too.’

Zari’s head rested in the crook of Nora’s neck, and her hand was rubbing patterns on her arm. She spoke softly. ‘It was just a nightmare. We all have nightmares, though mine often involve naked Mick and killing doughnuts,’ she chuckled. ‘You didn’t do anything wrong. You’re a great warlock and you use your powers for good, and yeah, you can be annoying as fuck sometimes, but you’re a great person, and you’re full of light. I don’t care how cheesy that sounds.’ Nora felt the press of lips on her shoulders. ‘Sara is going to be alright. That wasn’t your fault.’

Like every time before, Zari was right. Hearing those words were a balm on her damaged soul. Like every time before, she hoped it would help her heal if she heard them enough times. But on the inside, she was still shaking with fear of what might happen if she really lost control like this. Like in her cell at the Bureau, when she threw Ava and Mona against the walls.

‘Yeah. Yeah, I know. I’m trying to be that “great person”. I’m trying to have a future where I don’t think about Malice at all. I just don’t know if I can,’ she released a breath she didn’t realise she’s been holding.

Zari kissed her shoulder again. Then her neck. ‘Yes, you can. I fought that battle too, with A.R.G.U.S. and Behrad and—I’m here, aren’t I? Saving people, hunting things, and eating lots of doughnuts.’

‘Ray says the same thing…’

‘Then you know it’s true.’

Nora kissed her. Slowly, at first, with her hand in Zari’s sleep-tousled hair. But she needed to _feel_ something else than panic. She rolled over and was now on top of her. Zari’s hands held her neck, held her close. And Nora kissed her like she was the world. She sucked at her bottom lip. Slid her tongue in her mouth and both her hands in her hair. She kissed her until they were breathless, and then she left a trail of kissed down her body.

Oh, she wanted more. She wanted to take her apart and hear her scream her name and then have another round and feel her inside her.

Zari didn’t feel the same. She knew that. She respected that.

So she made her way up to her face and kissed her again, for what could have been hours, until they fell back asleep and the thought of Malice and her nightmares was but a distant memory, at least for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had a dream like this once in october, except in that dream, nora ended up going to ray and having sex with him. then nate joined in, and, well, it was... intense.


	68. emojis are fast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **for Twinmaya3** , who asked for sara getting hurt and then going on the chat, which is how ava finds out, and some fluff happening afterwards. that's why it went down the way it did in the mothman chapter. i'm sorry lol. 
> 
> i hope you like it!

**2018/12/01**

 

 **Lancelot:** Hey what’s up

 **Lancelot:** I’m boreddddd

 **rayofsunshine:** Shouldn’t you be resting?

 **QueenZee:** yeah why are you on your phone

 **Lancelot:** Jeez it’s fine, stop worrying about me

 **MissTimeBureau:** What happened, Sara? What’s going on?

 **Trenchcoat:** You don’t know

 **gayforray:** shush

 **monalisa:** hey I wanna know too

 **Lancelot:** We were on a mission at 9/11 and I was trying to help the victims

 **Lancelot:** A piece of debris collapsed on me but Gideon fixed me up fine

 **monalisa:** omg, are you all right? do you need something?

 **MissTimeBureau:** Jesus, Sara, why didn’t you tell me?

 **MissTimeBureau:** Why didn’t ANY OF YOU tell me?

 **QueenZee:** wasn’t ours to say…?

 **rayofsunshine:** It was just a few hours ago.

 **MiniDarhk:** I don’t think that’s making it any better

 **Lancelot:** You were busy at work, Aves, I didn’t want you to worry about me

 **MissTimeBureau:** That’s so typical of you. I love you, Sara, I always want to know if something happens.

 **gare-bear:** Aww sweet

 **QueenZee:** bet you don’t get this kinda treatment

 **Trenchcoat:** What makes you think so

 **MiniDarhk:** the entirety of your person

 **gare-bear:** John does have a heart, you know

 **QueenZee:** we’ve established that but

 **QueenZee:** can’t imagine him being all smooshy

 **Lancelot:** I’d like to see that

 **gayforray:** same

 **monalisa:** saME

 **Lancelot:** And alright, I promise I’ll always call you if something happens, Aves

 **Lancelot:** You happy?

 **MissTimeBureau:** I’m happier. But seriously, are you all right?

 **Lancelot:** On bed rest, but I swear I’m fine, stop acting like I’ve lost a limb or something

 **MissTimeBureau:** Do you want me to get you something? Soup? Movies? I want to be with you.

 **Lancelot:** Awww <3

 **Lancelot:** Well, I suppose I am getting a bit lonely in this bed all by myself ;)

 **MissTimeBureau:** We can eat strawberries with cream and watch cheesy romcoms all day if you want. Anything for you, babe.

 **Lancelot:** Does sound tempting

 **Lancelot:** Ok, I’ll have Gideon queue up some movies, you bring the strawberries

 **MamaWaverider:** I can do both, captain.

 **MissTimeBureau:** Fabricate some hot chocolate with that too, Gideon.

 **MamaWaverider:** Will do!

 **MissTimeBureau:** I’m coming on the ship right now, so be ready, Sara.

 **Lancelot:** You bet, Sharpe

**MissTimeBureau: ❤️💜💙**

**monalisa: ✨**

**QueenZee:** Ava used emojis

 **MiniDarhk:** weird

 **MissTimeBureau:** What, that’s not weird.

 **gayforray:** it is

 **rayofsunshine:** You’ve never used emojis besides this <3

 **QueenZee:** it’s rarer than Ray using them

 **monalisa:** funny, I’d peg ray as someone who overuses emojis

 **MiniDarhk:** me too tbh

 **rayofsunshine:** It’s faster without them.

**MiniDarhk: 😒**

**MiniDarhk: 😘👍⚡**

**MissTimeBureau:** What does that even mean?

 **MiniDarhk:** emojis are fast

 **MiniDarhk:** which they are cause I typed that faster than ray with his fully punctuated sentence

 **gayforray:** Lucifer would agree

 **monalisa:** who would what

 **QueenZee:** ohh right you’re new to this

 **QueenZee:** Lucifer is real and lives in LA and he’s great

 **gayforray:** he was in this chat once and he loves emojis

 **monalisa:** you’re not kidding right now

 **trickstergoddess:** dunno about this chat but oh hes real

 **Trenchcoat:** He owns a club

 **QueenZee:** I think I still have that selfie somewhere

 **QueenZee:** [ _image attached_ : zariandlucifer.jpeg]

 **monalisa:** wow you’re pretty

 **monalisa:** and that’s really the devil, huh

 **MiniDarhk:** I keep forgetting you haven’t actually met some of the legends

 **gayforray:** me too

 **QueenZee:** thanks ❤️

**monalisa: ❤️**

**MiniDarhk:** now don’t get any ideas

 **gayforray:** you’re the one who keeps going on about poly ships

 **MiniDarhk:** sarcasm 🙄

 **MiniDarhk:** speaking of, have you met gary and john again yet @monalisa

 **monalisa:** oh sure, at work ;)

 **gare-bear:** We talked a lot about the creatures

 **monalisa:** and d&d

 **QueenZee:** of course you play that

 **trickstergoddess:** and thats it

 **gayforray:** ha you too 👀

 **trickstergoddess:** what, nathaniel

 **gayforray:** don’t do that

 **gayforray:** I know you did it on purpose

 **MiniDarhk:** what about you and mick, any development

 **trickstergoddess:** dont stick your nose into whats not your business

 **QueenZee:** and the tables turned

 **grunt:** I like her, she’s great

 **Trenchcoat:** Did she change your opinion on Brits yet

 **grunt:** not on you, trenchcoat

 **MiniDarhk:** john, I want to hear your side of things

 **Trenchcoat:** Mona’s a real sweetheart, I’d just drag her down to hell with me

 **Trenchcoat:** It’s enough I’ve taken Gary on this path

 **Lancelot:** Hey, don’t talk like this again

 **rayofsunshine:** Some sunshine in your life will only make it brighter!

 **Trenchcoat:** Don’t tell me you’re offering, dreamboat

 **gayforray:** stop right there

 **rayofsunshine:** I wasn’t…I’m…

 **monalisa:** I’ve seen a lot of darkness in this world and if I’ve learned anything, it’s that nothing and no one is ever really lost

**monalisa: 😉**

**QueenZee:** that goes for you too, @MiniDarhk

**MiniDarhk: 💚**

**monalisa: 💛**

**gare-bear: 💛**

**gayforray:** *rainbow heart*

 **MiniDarhk:** *poly flag heart*

**Trenchcoat: 🙄**

**MiniDarhk:** lol he’s done

 **gayforray:** more unusual emoji users, I like this

 **Trenchcoat:** Just so you’d known, I’ve been in a relationship with two people before and it didn’t end up well

 **Lancelot:** Who would’ve guessed

 **QueenZee:** did they elope together

 **Trenchcoat:** No, Zatanna and I did, and the other guy tried to kill us and take our power

 **MiniDarhk:** yikes

 **gayforray:** buddy I’m sorry 

 **Trenchcoat:** He’s the one who ended up pushing the daisies

 **trickstergoddess:** sounds like you had it coming though

 **Trenchcoat:** You didn’t happen to meet him in hell, did you? Went by the name Nick Necro

 **trickstergoddess:** that rings a bell, maybe I did

 **Trenchcoat:** Ah, bollocks

 **Lancelot:** Why

 **Trenchcoat:** If he’s there I’m bound to see him again when I, y’know

 **monalisa:** don’t think about that now! you’ve got a great life! you’re so cool!

 **gare-bear:** Yeah, she’s right, you’re just 😍

 **QueenZee:** well this was sweet but

 **QueenZee:** @Lancelot updates

 **Lancelot:** [ _image attached_ : strawberries.jpeg]

 **monalisa:** that picture’s so artsy, you should put it on instagram

 **Lancelot:** How do you know I have one

 **monalisa:** I know 👀

 **MiniDarhk:** mysterious

 **gayforray:** what are you watching

 **Lancelot:** Crazy Rich Asians

 **QueenZee:** nice one 👏

 **monalisa:** I approve

 **rayofsunshine:** I haven’t seen that, what’s it about?

 **QueenZee:** title says it all

 **QueenZee:** I thought Wally would have made a remark by now

 **gayforray:** maybe he’s finally asleep for once

 **MiniDarhk:** it’s kinda weird when he’s not here

 **notbarryallen:** did someone mention me

**QueenZee: 😮**

**notbarryallen:** m a g i c right

 **monalisa:** cool

 **notbarryallen:** so what’s up I’m reporting from the home of anime

 **rayofsunshine:** You got up early.

 **notbarryallen:** to do my morning yoga

 **Trenchcoat:** That’s something I can get behind

 **gayforray:** you do yoga _naked_

 **Trenchcoat:** I don’t mind that, now do I

 **notbarryallen:** who says I don’t

**MiniDarhk: 😏**

 

 **notbarryallen** _is live_

 

 **trickstergoddess:** you’re really naked

 **MiniDarhk:** like we can see anything in the darkness though

 **monalisa:** nice to finally meet you

 **QueenZee:** oh hey Rick

 **gayforray:** you’re a mood “go do your yoga and let me sleep you early bird fuck”

 **Lancelot:** Funny when a hero with a bird identity says that

 **rayofsunshine:** That reminds me of you in the mornings sometimes.

 **gayforray:** excuse me,

 **QueenZee:** it’s true

 **QueenZee:** even Wally says so

 **gayforray:** okay fine yes I’m grumpy before my first cup of coffee but who isn’t

 **gare-bear:** John, he’s a morning person

 **monalisa:** me too! I always wake up early so I’d have time to read a nice book or something before I go to work

 **MiniDarhk:** you three would _really_ get along

 

 **notbarryallen** _is no longer live_

 

 **notbarryallen:** he threw pillows at me

 **notbarryallen:** anyway I see you’re following the shipping agenda

 **monalisa:** asdfghjkl

 **MiniDarhk:** you broke her

 **notbarryallen:** asdfghjkl

 **notbarryallen:** lol I had to

 **notbarryallen:** I’m gonna do my yoga, have fun kids

 **grunt:** you’re a kid, kid

 **notbarryallen:** yOu’Re a KiD

 **trickstergoddess:** are you all totally bonkers

 **Lancelot:** I believe the answer to that question is yes

 **gayforray:** yEs We aRe


	69. private, huh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what the fuck was that fucking ending of that episode like,,, why is zari a cat, and did john seriously just create another flashpoint _and possibly was the cause for that weird reality in elseworlds_ i'm not okay
> 
> that being said, it was spectacular and so gay and i loved it!!! and once again predicted something in this fic: ava staying on board for that night, wow
> 
> this chapter is a weird mess, but i hope you like it. also... i might not post anything till the next episode because honestly, how do you write something about this? that alternate reality we saw in the preview? maybe an interlude. but i'll... wait for them to solve it and then i can write my own reality for four months i guess cos of course they give us a bloody long hiatus

**2018/12/02**

 

 **gare-bear:** HAPPY HANUKKAH! 🕎

 **gayforray:** I can’t believe doctor who copied us AGAIN

 **gayforray:** right after we catch Mothman they go with killer moths

 **gayforray:** sure…

 **gayforray:** also happy Hanukkah, Gary

 **notbarryallen:** lol

 **notbarryallen:** so ignored

 **gare-bear:** I guess we just picked the same moment to say something because we’re time bros

 **gayforray:** let’s go with that

 **QueenZee:** happy Hanukkah to you, Gary

 **Trenchcoat:** This sounds like the beginning of a joke, a Jew, a Muslim and an atheist walk into a bar

 **notbarryallen:** and are served tea by a Buddhist cause it’s actually a tea shop

 **monalisa:** omg

 **Trenchcoat:** I’ll give you this one

 **gayforray:** where are you these days

 **notbarryallen:** we talked yesterday

 **MiniDarhk:** he asked a question

 **notbarryallen:** on a hike

 **notbarryallen:** beautiful right [ _image attached_ : nature.jpeg]

 **MiniDarhk:** well you’ll never believe what we’re looking at

 **MiniDarhk:** [ _image attached_ : mustache.jpeg]

 **notbarryallen:** OH NO

 **monalisa:** seriously, ray

 **rayofsunshine:** It’s fashionable!

 **gayforray:** I hate it

 **QueenZee:** yeah same

 **MiniDarhk:** I don’t but it’s hilarious

 **notbarryallen:** 👀

 **rayofsunshine:** I hate you @gayforray

 **gayforray:** no you don’t

 **rayofsunshine:** You’re right, I love you, but I’m not shaving it for you.

 **monalisa:** I’m nOt sHaViNg For SherLoCk hOlMes

 **MiniDarhk:** bish you’re right

 **gayforray:** nooooooo

 **rayofsunshine:** I know you’re just making fun of me but you know I love Sherlock.

 **grunt:** what the fuck is that on your face, haircut

 **rayofsunshine:** This is a conspiracy.

 **Lancelot:** Maybe

 **trickstergoddess:** I liked you better before

 **rayofsunshine:** How about this, I’ll fit in nicely in the past.

 **notbarryallen:** you’ve got another mission

 **Lancelot:** Yeah, 1856 New Orleans

 **Lancelot:** But breakfast first

 **monalisa:** you do that a lot

 **Trenchcoat:** Travel to New Orleans? Yeah, too often for my taste

 **monalisa:** I meant travel, period

 **monalisa:** must be awesome

 **gayforray:** always

 **gare-bear:** What is it with you and New Orleans, John?

 **Trenchcoat:** Just stuff in the past, don’t worry about it, love. I’m a grown man, I can handle it

 **monalisa:** well if anything happens you can talk to us

 **gare-bear:** Absolutely

 **QueenZee:** aww, sweet

 **rayofsunshine:** Like your atrocious cereal.

 **QueenZee:** beignets, Ray 👏 I’m soaking up the taste of New Orleans

 **monalisa:** are you all like in the same room and chatting here

 **gayforray:** yup and we don’t care

 **notbarryallen:** 100% of the time

 **grunt:** not me, I’m just watching them and eating my food

 **Lancelot:** What are you doing now then

 **grunt:** fair, blondie

 **gare-bear:** Is Ava still on the Waverider? Cause I didn’t see her anywhere and kinda wanted to talk to her

 **MissTimeBureau:** Yes, I’m here, Gary. What do you need?

 **gare-bear:** Uhh that’s private I’ll just wait

 **MiniDarhk:** private, huh

 **notbarryallen:** does it concern john 👀

 **monalisa:** or me 👀

 **gare-bear:** Hhhhhh

 **gayforray:** I can help you

 **gayforray:** time bros, right

 **gare-bear:** Okayy 👍

 **gayforray:** I’m done eating so I’m coming to the bureau

 **monalisa:** so am I if anyone cares

 **MissTimeBureau:** I definitely care.

 **MissTimeBureau:** Good job.

 **monalisa:** aww ava, I mean, director sharpe, I mean

 **Lancelot:** I guess we’re on our way too, gotta stop a cereal killer

 **gayforray:** 😂

 **rayofsunshine:** More Sherlock references, nice.

 **Lancelot:** That was just a pun but ok

 **monalisa:** serial killers? oh no, I hope you get that bastard

 **MissTimeBureau:** It’s a she, and we believe she’s innocent, it’s _gotta_ be Mike the Spike.

 **MiniDarhk:** I love your secret side

 **MissTimeBureau:** My what?

 **MiniDarhk:** your love of serial killers is just 👌

 **MissTimeBureau:** I don’t _love_ serial killers, it’s just a hobby. Shut up.

 **monalisa:** this is interesting

 **notbarryallen:** uh huh

 **MissTimeBureau:** Whatever, I’m going to put on a fancy dress and go out there.

 **Lancelot:** I need to see that

 **MissTimeBureau:** If I get to see more of you in historical dresses?

 **Lancelot:** Of course, Aves ;)

 **Trenchcoat:** Let me just appreciate

 **Trenchcoat:** [ _image attached_ : zariandcharlie.jpeg]

 **trickstergoddess:** im gonna kill you john-o

 **rayofsunshine:** Ha, new nickname!

 **QueenZee:** can’t believe I actually agree with this one

 **gayforray:** those dresses look good on you

 **QueenZee:** I feel like I’m in some kind of princess nightmare

 **MiniDarhk:** excuse me, you’re so hot in that

 **QueenZee:** lsdjjsf okay

 **QueenZee:** and of course I end up with John and Charlie

 **trickstergoddess:** guess thats karma, sweetheart

 **gayforray:** oops she did it again

 **MiniDarhk:** hey hey what did gary wanna talk about

 **gayforray:** his crush on Mona

 **gare-bear:** That’s private!

 **gayforray:** not on here, it isn’t

 **QueenZee:** you know better than that, buddy

 **monalisa:** so it’s real 👀

 **gare-bear:** Uhhh I’m just

 **Trenchcoat:** It’s okay, love

 **Trenchcoat:** On another note, I’m not handling it

 **Lancelot:** Great, what happened

 **Trenchcoat:** A trip down memory lane with Laveau

 **gare-bear:** Did she hurt you? Are you ok?

 **MissTimeBureau:** Was I right? Is she the killer?

 **Trenchcoat:** Nope, yeah, yeah and definitely not

 **MissTimeBureau:** Ah, nice, at least some good news.

 **MissTimeBureau:** Rory is being a dick again.

 **trickstergoddess:** hes good at that

 **gayforray:** 👀

 **trickstergoddess:** aight stop that pretty boy

 **grunt:** yeah

 **rayofsunshine:** I think I found the fugitive, you have nothing to worry about.

 **QueenZee:** great, can I get out of this dress now

 **MiniDarhk:** I’ll help you with that

 **MiniDarhk:** in a completely ace way because I respect your identity

 **QueenZee:** <3

 **trickstergoddess:** hey mick will you help me with mine

 **grunt:** definitely

 **Trenchcoat:** And of course Gary is at work

 **gare-bear:** I’m sorry, I’ll make it up to you in the evening

 **gare-bear:** But like can we talk first

 **Trenchcoat:** If you get me a drink first, because after today I’ll need it

 **gare-bear:** <3

 **grunt:** me too

 **Lancelot:** You always need a drink

 **grunt:** I live my life to the full

 **QueenZee:** wow

 **Lancelot:** The fugitive is secure, and guess what, it’s a fucking doll

 **gayforray:** ooh Annabelle

 **rayofsunshine:** We’re actually calling it Chucky.

 **gayforray:** even better

 **gayforray:** I’m just chilling with Mona right now

 **QueenZee:** I’m envious right now

 **gayforray:** aren’t you like having almost-sex with Nora

 **MiniDarhk:** almost sex pfft

 **MiniDarhk:** I’d love to but there’s still business to attend to cause apparently “trip down memory lane” was a great fucking understatement and john disappeared together with charlie

 **gayforray:** wasn’t she having sex with Mick

 **grunt:** she ran off, that’s why I need a drink

 **gare-bear:** What exactly is going on???

 **QueenZee:** I don’t think he’s cheating on you or anything but he was pretty shaken

 **grunt:** I’m gonna get that drink

 **Lancelot:** Do that

 **Lancelot:** Care to have lunch with me @MissTimeBureau

 **MissTimeBureau:** Always.

 **MiniDarhk:** what about us

 **QueenZee:** yeah I’ll never say no to food

 **Lancelot:** Thought you were looking for John

 **QueenZee:** have you heard what I just said

 **MiniDarhk:** he’s in the jumpship with charlie now can we have that dinner

 **rayofsunshine:** I’m with you, but aren’t you worried about what they might do?

 **QueenZee:** Gideon

 **MamaWaverider:** I’ll bring them back right away, Miss Tomaz.

 **QueenZee:** see

 **QueenZee:** but I’ll go talk some sense into them cause I know you’d tell me to anyway

 **QueenZee:** save me some food, Nora

 **MiniDarhk:** sure

 **rayofsunshine:** I can do that too!

 **QueenZee:** I’m pretty sure I’ll be back soon but thanks guys

 **Lancelot:** Or not

 **Lancelot:** Chucky is back

 **gayforray:** seriously

 **gayforray:** why does every mission sound crazier than the previous one

 **gayforray:** especially when I’m NOT THERE

 **gare-bear:** I just wanna know if John is all right

 **QueenZee:** stupid but all right

 **Trenchcoat:** Just don’t get your knickers in a twist, love

 **Trenchcoat:** I was trying to do something good in my life for once

 **gare-bear:** You can do good, I believe in you

 **QueenZee:** that’s nice and all but don’t actually encourage him in this one, thanks, Gary

 **MiniDarhk:** he went back didn’t he

 **trickstergoddess:** yeah he did

 **QueenZee:** guess I won’t be back for lunch as soon as I thought

 **Lancelot:** We’re not exactly having lunch

 **trickstergoddess:** right, youre fighting that possessed doll

 **grunt:** it’s not a doll anymore

 **rayofsunshine:** Yeah, it’s Leo’s Marty puppet.

 **gayforray:** what the fuck

 **Lancelot:** Can’t talk sorry

 **trickstergoddess:** we gonna help them or stop trenchcoat

 **QueenZee:** He’s about to create a paradox, that’s worse

 **gare-bear:** What is going on???????

 **QueenZee:** that’s a lot of question marks

 **QueenZee:** look, I think it’s better he tells you himself, it involves a previous relationship of his

 **gare-bear:** I know, I just

 **gare-bear:** It’s also weird Mona isn’t talking to us…

 **gayforray:** you’re right

 **gayforray:** too weird

 **trickstergoddess:** oi zee you coming or what

 **trickstergoddess:** why is there a cat

 **trickstergoddess:** WHAT THE FUCK CONSTANTINE


	70. and i was a cat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 04x08 WAS SUCH A WILD RIDE OMG i laughed so hard i cried. the godmother. the two garys. the very ouat-like kiss that saved the universe. the puppets. the sirens!!! mona asking to be turned into a fluffy cat. the zarlie scene at the end. (i want nora, though. where is she???) (there is an answer: in supernatural.)
> 
> so. after a week-long break, i'm back with another chapter! 04x07 really didn't allow me to write anything, but now i have a free reign for four months *evil laughter* that's one good thing about the hiatus.

**2018/12/09**

 

 **MissTimeBureau:** So you’re telling me you created six different alternate realities where some combination of us was dead because Constantine wanted to save his boyfriend? Is that true?

 **QueenZee:** and I was a cat

 **gayforray:** you were the cat Charlie was talking about

 **MiniDarhk:** you were a CAT

 **rayofsunshine:** How?

 **QueenZee:** ask John

 **Trenchcoat:** Yeah, yeah, blame it on me

 **QueenZee:** you didn’t have to turn me back into a cat, you know

 **trickstergoddess:** you meddled with our plan, so you had it coming, sweetheart

 **trickstergoddess:** ALSO she thinks im hot

 **gayforray:** well she got eyes

 **MiniDarhk:** she did what

 **QueenZee:** you said it not me

 **trickstergoddess:** I beg to differ ;)

 **MissTimeBureau:** Why are you ignoring me.

 **Lancelot:** Passive aggressive period, Aves?

 **rayofsunshine:** Sorry, we’re as shocked as you are, all we know is that we’ve been here, fighting Mike the Spike.

 **gayforray:** or at the bureau, having lunch

 **monalisa:** guys

 **monalisa:** I’m

 **monalisa:** the kaupe was taken and he got angry and he hurt me and I’m

 **monalisa:** I need help

 **MiniDarhk:** oh no honey

 **gayforray:** fuck

 **MissTimeBureau:** Where are you?

 **gayforray:** I’ll take Gary and we’ll help you

 **monalisa:** parking lot

 **monalisa:** please hurry up

 **monalisa:** and you have to help the creatures, they’re doing something bad to them

 **MissTimeBureau:** No, I’d know if that was happening.

 **monalisa:** it is

 **gare-bear:** Oh fuck Mona I’m coming to help you like right now, hang on

 **MissTimeBureau:** I’m off this ship and calling Hank.

 **QueenZee:** Gary said fuck 👀

 **Trenchcoat:** Not his first

 **Lancelot:** Obviously

 **MiniDarhk:** so you’re that good

 **Trenchcoat:** Very good

 **Lancelot:** How are holding up, John?

 **Trenchcoat:** Having more of that scotch, I can pull through

 **gare-bear:** I’m. Is there something I can do

 **Trenchcoat:** Come here when you’ll have helped Mona

 **gare-bear:** <3

 **gayforray:** lots of hurt and comfort here today

 **trickstergoddess:** we cant be all cheery all the time nate

 **rayofsunshine:** Also, apparently, Oliver and the others got themselves into a mess of their own and called us for help, oops.

 **gayforray:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **gayforray:** they can handle it

 **Lancelot:** Yeahhh

 **Lancelot:** Right?

 **QueenZee:** I’m too tired for that right now

 **MiniDarhk:** you have to tell me more about being a cat

 **QueenZee:** no why

 **trickstergoddess:** she was cute oh my god

 **rayofsunshine:** So you don’t hate each other anymore?

 **Trenchcoat:** Quite the opposite, I’d say

 **QueenZee:** shut up

 **MiniDarhk:** what am I reading with my own eyes right now

 **monalisa:** this is fun

 **MiniDarhk:** are you all right???

 **monalisa:** omw to the medical dept

 **MiniDarhk:** oh good

 **MiniDarhk:** charlie and mick are still an item or

 **grunt:** we were never an item

 **grunt:** I like her and we had sex, that’s all

 **trickstergoddess:** yeah adults can shag if they want to

 **Trenchcoat:** You speak my language

 **gayforray:** I see you all bonded

 **Lancelot:** It was like five minutes for us

 **Lancelot:** It’s weird

 **QueenZee:** time travel is weird

 **trickstergoddess:** agreed

 **gayforray:** true

 **Lancelot:** so guess who also finally bonded

 **grunt:** time boss read my novel

 **MissTimeBureau:** And Rory killed my cookies.

 **MissTimeBureau:** Liked, I mean liked.

 **grunt:** so we’re even now

 **QueenZee:** but with Mick I’m pretty sure you can say he killed those cookies

 **MiniDarhk:** ^^

 **Trenchcoat:** Did anyone mention cookies

 **MissTimeBureau:** I never said I was sorry for what happened to you.

 **Trenchcoat:** Ta, but I don’t need your sympathy, Sharpie

 **Trenchcoat:** Though I quite liked the sad emo version of you

 **Trenchcoat:** And I could use a biscuit with the scotch

 **MiniDarhk:** some culinary expert

 **MissTimeBureau:** The who?

 **trickstergoddess:** you were pretty badass in that reality, as you americans would say

 **Lancelot:** Care to tell me more

 **QueenZee:** maybe later

 **rayofsunshine:** I thought you were a cat.

 **QueenZee:** the bag had a window

 **MiniDarhk:** 👀

 **trickstergoddess:** I think ive got a picture somewhere

 **trickstergoddess:** [ _image attached_ : catbag.jpeg]

 **monalisa:** awwwww

 **MiniDarhk:** I’d cuddle you so hard omg

 **QueenZee:** I’m not a cat anymore but

 **MiniDarhk:** I’ll hold you to that

 **MiniDarhk:** got food

 **QueenZee:** I just ate but always

 **rayofsunshine:** You ate in an alternate reality, and even though you came back to the exact moment you left, it still happened to you, and you technically are older than us by a few hours. How fascinating!

 **QueenZee:** yay

 **trickstergoddess:** same for my pictures

 **Trenchcoat:** @monalisa you were in that reality too

 **monalisa:** you didn’t turn me into a cat did you

 **monalisa:** if you did was it a fluffy one

 **QueenZee:** I’m pretty sure you said the same thing

 **Trenchcoat:** You did

 **gare-bear:** Did you meet me there too

 **trickstergoddess:** yup, and I had to shift into you

 **Trenchcoat:** You locked me up in Time Bureau prison

 **gare-bear:** OH NO I’M SORRY LOVE

 **gare-bear:** What was I thinking in that reality

 **Trenchcoat:** You were also so stupid it was adorable, so I think we’re even

 **trickstergoddess:** yeah I got you fooled so easily I was laughing on the inside

 **monalisa:** you should see him right now

 **monalisa:** [ _image attached_ : lost.jpeg]

 **MiniDarhk:** you shouldn’t be on your phone when you’re hurt, mona

 **monalisa:** I’ll be fine, you don’t have to worry about me

 **gayforray:** I can confirm

 **Lancelot:** Did Nora like adopt Mona or

 **gayforray:** it looks that way

 **MiniDarhk:** haha no

 **monalisa:** maybe a little bit

 **notbarryallen:** more ships

 **QueenZee:** that was a good entrance

 **notbarryallen:** always

 **notbarryallen:** btw I got a text from barry

 **notbarryallen:** apparently he and oliver switched or something

 **Trenchcoat:** What exactly does that mean

 **QueenZee:** I guess not what you think it does

 **Lancelot:** I heard there was a dark Superman or whatnot

 **rayofsunshine:** Shouldn’t we… help them maybe?

 **gayforray:** nah we’ve decided to pass so we’ll pass

 **MiniDarhk:** not a fan of team-ups so I vote no

 **QueenZee:** after the day we’ve had

 **trickstergoddess:** who exactly are those people

 **Trenchcoat:** Long story

 **Lancelot:** Very long

 **gare-bear:** I’m coming on the ship @Trenchcoat

 **gare-bear:** Did you mention biscuits

 **Trenchcoat:** Yeah, you’d be a sweetheart

 **gare-bear:** <3

 **QueenZee:** take good care of him

 **trickstergoddess:** somebody wanna take care of me

 **MiniDarhk:** come join us if you want

 **monalisa:** 👀

 **notbarryallen:** yeah

 **trickstergoddess:** guess im not gonna say no

 **grunt:** what about me

 **trickstergoddess:** some other time, mick

 **QueenZee:** it’s ladies night

 **Lancelot:** Since Ava is at the Bureau

 **MiniDarhk:** yes you can join us

 **Lancelot:** What’s on the program

 **QueenZee:** food and movies

 **MiniDarhk:** what else really

 **rayofsunshine:** I’m not a lady but I have nothing to do right now, so can I maybe join the club?

 **MiniDarhk:** just come here you big teddy bear

 **rayofsunshine:** Okay then!

 **grunt:** I’ll ask again, what about me

 **trickstergoddess:** go drink with trenchcoat

 **Trenchcoat:** Don’t

 **QueenZee:** if you’re up for a dose of Christmas romcoms that are so straight it hurts but are perfect for making fun of

 **grunt:** no thanks

 **trickstergoddess:** didnt think so

 **MiniDarhk:** I love this

 **monalisa:** hey I want in too

 **MiniDarhk:** you need to rest

 **gare-bear:** We’ll make it up to you

 **MiniDarhk:** promise

 **monalisa:** <3

 **QueenZee:** enough flirting let’s watch this tooth-rotting disaster 👏

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (i haven't actually seen elseworlds yet, i'm waiting for the supergirl episode so i could watch it all at once. always do with multiparters.)


	71. [interlude] lost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is kinda angsty i guess but it's john so you can't expect anything else, really
> 
> hope you like it!

John Constantine didn’t cry. He didn’t get emotional. He has lost enough people he cared about during his short and miserable life to get used to it and wave each death away with a drink, because that’s as good as goodbyes were in his world. He moved on.

Rule one of magic was that there always was a price. And oh, he paid. He paid and carried on and hoped that he’ll smoke his way down to hell instead of taking the rocky road of death by demon or what have you, which was what was more likely to happen to someone like him, ta very much. But he didn’t cry.

So why did this keep on hitting his heart like a knife?

It’s been half a year, bloody hell. And he had Gary now. Gary, the adorable and cheerful Time Bureau agent who was a striking opposite of him, and who should’ve run after their first night but somehow, weirdly enough, he didn’t and refused to give up on him even though John saw him as an opportunity for rebound sex and not much more than that, at first.

(He had wanted to get over Dez. Gary had been there. End of story.

Except it wasn’t. Gary was _still_ here, in his bed, and Dez was gone all over again, and it hurt more than it’s ever done, because the guilt that had been eating him alive for so long had been stronger and more malignant than ever before and had pushed him far enough to try and save him even though he definitely shouldn’t have. And of bloody course he failed.)

Dez was just another in the line of lovers he’s lost. There were many before him, men and women, beautiful and equally damaged, and he always, always moved on. Eventually.

So please explain this, whatever god is watching him right now: why was he sitting here, wallowing in grief, tear-stained cheeks, eating biscuits and hating the taste of his favourite whisky, holding onto Gary as if he was the only thing that bound him to life?

He snorted. It came out halfway like a sob.

‘Want more of those cookies?’ Gary mumbled into his chest. They were lying in John’s bed, under the covers, not even naked. Not this time.

‘Hmm.’ The image of his past self and Desmond restoring the timeline played out before his eyes again. Erasing the memory of breaking his heart from Dez’s mind and letting it happen was the only thing he could have done, in the end; he knew that. Causality and all that. It still broke his dark heart.

Gary passed him the plate. John crunched on a hard biscuit and tried not to think.

‘I don’t really know what happened between you and that guy,’ Gary said, ‘all I’ve heard was from Nate, who knows from Ava, who knows from Sara. But it’ll get better. That’s just time travel, believe me, I know…’ he trailed off. Hummed with content. ‘You have me now, and the Legends.’

‘You should leave and forget about me, love. I bring nothing but pain and death and misery wherever I come, and it always drags people down. You don’t deserve any of this.’

_I don’t want you to suffer the same fate as Dez, or Nick, or Zatanna, or Chris, or Anne-Marie, or Jim Corrigan, or the other Gary, or anyone else I knew who ended up either dead or scarred for life_ , he wanted to say.

‘Don’t talk like that, I’m a badass time agent and I can handle this. I was elected employee of the month in October!’ he grinned like that really meant something. It probably did for this disastrous sunshine of a human.

‘Alright, alright.’ John didn’t smile. He wanted to. It was impossible. ‘But I don’t want to lose you too, like—like him. Dez.’ Since he was drowning in guilt and sadness and truth, he might as well say it.

Because by some cruel, laughable twist of fate (maybe it was Fate, with a capital F, that annoying tosser), he kept falling for the wrong people, for the _good_ people—and hurting them, too. And he’s undeniably fallen for Gary, all in, maybe _because_ he was so untouched by darkness it was almost unbelievable.

Pathetic, really.

It hurt more and more.

‘You won’t lose me, I’m like, never letting you go, John. You’re the awesomest person I know, seriously.’ _Awesomest_. Something only he could say. He propped his chin on John’s chest and stared him into his eyes. ‘I love you.’

More and more.

It was a matter of time, wasn’t it?

John moved his static arm and ran his fingers through Gary’s hair. Without his glasses, he looked different. Older. John kissed him to mend the pain of his shattered heart at least for a moment, until he’ll inevitably wake up at night because of Neron’s ugly mug laughing at him in his dreams.

He needed to vaporise that bastard before he takes Gary from him too. Or Sara. Or anyone. And maybe, if the universe decides to play his game for a little bit longer, maybe he can still save Dez from hell, because he’s a Legend now, and Legends find those loopholes he didn’t manage to get his grip on with this one yet. He trusted Zari on this.

But if he does—what will he do? Let him go, just like that? Let Gary go? Let neither go?

This was too much to think about right now. He could hardly bear it. So he shut his mind again and focused on Gary’s lips that were now leaving marks on his throat. Biscuit crumbs ran down his torso, onto the bed.


	72. got rekt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so hey i've finally watched elseworlds and it was SO GOOD. especially the first episode. and when they kept mentioning a crisis coming, i knew they'd go for crisis on infinite earths next year and they DID NOT DISAPPOINT. i'm already excited, lol.
> 
> anyway, enjoy this chapter!
> 
> ALSO AO3 SUPPORTS EMOJIS NOW MY WISHES HAVE BEEN HEARD 😉😉😉 tomorrow I'm gonna go ahead and put them everywhere they're supposed to be

**2018/12/10**

 

 **gayforray:** I can’t believe Doctor Who’s finished, like, what do we do now

 **gare-bear:** That void when you finish a show

 **gayforray:** right

 **QueenZee:** watch a different show maybe

 **trickstergoddess:** it wasnt even that good yknow

 **MiniDarhk:** how dare you

 **MissTimeBureau:** Thirteen shows women can be powerful too and I love her for it.

 **Lancelot:** Babe

 **Lancelot:** You and I are the embodiment of girl power

 **QueenZee:** gay girl power, let’s not forget

 **rayofsunshine:** You go girls!

 **MiniDarhk:** hell yes

 **MiniDarhk:** have you even seen a show with more girl power than we have

 **gayforray:** uh, we’re real though

 **Lancelot:** Maybe there’s an Earth where we’re all fictional 👀

 **grunt:** we’ve seen weirder things than that

 **rayofsunshine:** Oh we definitely did, I mean, aliens and immortals and killer unicorns…

 **Lancelot:** In that world, Aves and I are like the ultimate OTP and you can’t prove otherwise

 **gayforray:** so you’re saying you’re better than us

 **MissTimeBureau:** She’s saying we’re more popular.

 **gayforray:** I mean, you’re right, you’re so better than us

 **rayofsunshine:** Don’t say that!

 **gayforray:** we’re idiots, they’re the perfect couple

 **QueenZee:** you’re onto something

 **gayforray:** tee hee

 **MiniDarhk:** people would totally ship ray and me

 **QueenZee:** you’re very sure of that

 **monalisa:** that’s happening even in the real world so 👀

 **rayofsunshine:** Hi, Mona, how are you?

 **monalisa:** hungry

 **monalisa:** and unable to eat properly

 **MiniDarhk:** oof I’m sorry

 **monalisa:** but gary visited me today

 **gayforray:** ahhh

 **gare-bear:** That I did

 **QueenZee:** how’s John

 **gare-bear:** I made him breakfast so I’d say better

 **MiniDarhk:** did you burn the toast again

 **gare-bear:** That was once

 **gare-bear:** I am very skilled in the art of toast

 **MiniDarhk:** well it was fun

 **monalisa:** will you make me toast too

 **gare-bear:** Anything

 **QueenZee:** sweet

 **gayforray:** I can’t tell if you’re sarcastic or not

 **QueenZee:** take a guess

 **Lancelot:** Both

 **MamaWaverider:** I’ve received a message from Barry Allen saying everything has been put back to normal, and one from Oliver Queen that was more or less a passive-aggressive thank you for your help note.

 **Lancelot:** Tell him we’re sorry but we’ve been busy?

 **rayofsunshine:** That should work, right?

 **gayforray:** they didn’t even need us, be chill

 **notbarryallen:** I heard they’ve met batwoman

 **notbarryallen:** and bruce’s cousin

 **Lancelot:** They’re the same person, obviously

 **gayforray:** surprise surprise

 **QueenZee:** do they know that we know Batman’s identity

 **notbarryallen:** not from me

 **Lancelot:** Kara says she knows

 **Lancelot:** That they’re the same person

 **Lancelot:** And that Bruce is Batman

 **gayforray:** and her cousin is Superman obviously

 **QueenZee:** and Bob’s your uncle

 **rayofsunshine:** You’re in touch with her?

 **notbarryallen:** interdimensional texting is a thing when you know cisco ramon

 **Lancelot:** You know, after pride

 **MissTimeBureau:** So everything is good between you and Alex Danvers?

 **Lancelot:** Why wouldn’t it be

 **Lancelot:** Jealous again, babe

 **MissTimeBureau:** No…

 **Trenchcoat:** And this time it’s not about me

 **trickstergoddess:** blimey look who’s back

 **Trenchcoat:** Don’t tell me you’re worried about me

 **trickstergoddess:** im not, they are

 **QueenZee:** thanks

 **MiniDarhk:** you are, can’t hide it from us

 **trickstergoddess:** whatever

 **Trenchcoat:** Well, don’t be, I’m not a scared little broken lad, I’ve lived my share of losses and I can deal with them

 **gare-bear:** Like I said, I’m not leaving and you can talk to me, okay

 **QueenZee:** is it just me or is Gary less awkward when he’s around John cause he sounds like a normal and caring boyfriend and I’m lowkey worried

 **monalisa:** the guy needs it

 **monalisa:** more sunshine 😉

 **Lancelot:** Twenty points for Zari

 **rayofsunshine:** Are you giving us house points?

 **Lancelot:** No, Ray, don’t get too excited

 **gayforray:** good cause that way Gryffindor would totally lose

 **MiniDarhk:** hail slytherin everyone

 **QueenZee:** 🐍 pride

 **QueenZee:** we gotta do right by our house

 **notbarryallen:** unlike jkr

 **Trenchcoat:** 👍

 **gayforray:** why do you keep doing this

 **MiniDarhk:** unity

 **trickstergoddess:** mwah

 **Lancelot:** Relax, Nate

 **Lancelot:** Kara is a Gryffindor too

 **gayforray:** she’s from a different _earth_

 **rayofsunshine:** What about Amaya?

 **gayforray:** she’s in _1942_ and not even _talking to us_ anymore

 **MiniDarhk:** guess you’re all alone then, bye

 **gayforray:** 🦁 😔

 **grunt:** why do you keep talking about harry potter

 **notbarryallen:** eyeroll

 **MiniDarhk:** there’s an emoji for that 🙄

 **notbarryallen:** lol

 **QueenZee:** got rekt

 **QueenZee:** also stop using the lol thing

 **notbarryallen:** oh right you’re still allergic to it

 **rayofsunshine:** It’s gonna get better.

 **QueenZee:** it better

 **notbarryallen:** I see what you did there

 **MamaWaverider:** Oh, puns.

 **MamaWaverider:** And by the way, Mr Heywood wants to know whether you’ll be taking part in the annual Christmas sports tournament at the Bureau.

 **gayforray:** no I don’t

 **gayforray:** oh you mean my dad, gotcha

 **notbarryallen:** don’t say it

 **notbarryallen:** don’t say it

 **notbarryallen:** don’t say it

 **notbarryallen:** lol

 **QueenZee:** why did no one stop that

 **Lancelot:** Why didn’t you

 **Lancelot:** @MissTimeBureau

 **MissTimeBureau:** What?

 **MissTimeBureau:** Oh, right, sports. Does any of you play softball or volleyball?

 **gayforray:** count me in

 **rayofsunshine:** Baby, you work there.

 **Trenchcoat:** Count me out

 **Lancelot:** Come on, it’s gonna be fun

 **QueenZee:** …getting our asses handed to us by time bureau agents in softball

 **Lancelot:** We can do martial arts, I’m sure we can handle ball games, right?

 **MiniDarhk:** is magic allowed

 **MissTimeBureau:** No, and you probably shouldn’t get involved at all, sorry, Nora.

 **MiniDarhk:** prisoners v agents? no?

 **MissTimeBureau:** No.

 **monalisa:** aww I’d play but

 **grunt:** I don’t do team sports

 **gare-bear:** Oh you gotta join us, it’s so much fun

 **Lancelot:** Am I the only one who’s gonna do it? Really?

 **QueenZee:** never said I wouldn’t

 **rayofsunshine:** Me too! I’m bad at sports but I can certainly try.

 **MissTimeBureau:** That’s the spirit!

 **trickstergoddess:** never played volleyball when I was locked up, might be fun

 **MissTimeBureau:** All right, Gideon, tell Mr. Heywood they’re in.

 **MamaWaverider:** Will do.

 **QueenZee:** one thing, when is it

 **gayforray:** that’s what you’re concerned with, okay

 **QueenZee:** 😒

 **QueenZee:** yeah I get it, we’re time travelers, but I wanna know

 **MissTimeBureau:** Christmas Eve at noon.

 **notbarryallen:** classy

 **gayforray:** right

 **MiniDarhk:** ANYWAY

 **MiniDarhk:** do we have plans for christmas or

 **Lancelot:** We’ll figure that out as we roll

 **rayofsunshine:** I was thinking we could do Secret Santa this year?

 **QueenZee** _sent a GIF_  



	73. let's irritate sara

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm going to prague for the christmas markets tomorrow (cos i've never been there before... during the holidays i mean...) so there won't be a chapter, but maybe there'll be a surprise 😉 stay tuned!
> 
> you've probably noticed the emojis lol but if you haven't, ao3 supports them now! an early christmas present 😂😏
> 
> enjoy!

**2018/12/14**

 

 **gayforray:** we should do secret santa

 **Trenchcoat:** Why does this not surprise me

 **Lancelot:** Cause you know us

 **monalisa:** what did you do last year

 **rayofsunshine:** Dinner, presents for everybody, and eggnog.

**MiniDarhk: 🎄🎅🏻🎁**

**QueenZee:** I’m kinda surprised you like Christmas

 **MiniDarhk:** haven’t enjoyed it for years so

 **trickstergoddess:** youre that kind of people eh

 **gayforray:** what kind

 **trickstergoddess:** cheery santa loving americans with the idea of christmas being about presents

 **Lancelot:** I mean, we’ve established that on Halloween

 **monalisa:** I loooove Christmas

 **monalisa:** ugly sweaters you know

 **gayforray:** YES UGLY SWEATERS

 **MiniDarhk:** hey mona do you wanna celebrate with us

 **MissTimeBureau:** Yes, you should!

 **monalisa:** bold of you to assume I wasn’t gonna sneak onto your party anyway

 **QueenZee:** we’ll be on the Waverider

 **QueenZee:** or will we

 **Lancelot:** Dunno

 **Lancelot:** It’s December 14 it’s too SOON

 **rayofsunshine:** Show some Christmas spirit, Sara.

 **Lancelot:** Fuck your Christmas spirit

 **Lancelot:** That starts on December 23

 **MiniDarhk:** mood

 **monalisa:** mood

 **gayforray:** hang on

 **gayforray:** it’s your birthday too

 **Lancelot:** Yup

 **monalisa:** isn’t it kinda sad, having your birthday on christmas

 **Lancelot:** I get double presents

 **notbarryallen:** meaning you want us to get you double presents

 **gayforray:** you’re in Tokyo

 **notbarryallen:** shipping or superspeed travel is a thing

 **rayofsunshine:** Will Rick and you be spending Christmas with us 👀

 **notbarryallen:** we’ve discussed it but like

 **notbarryallen:** idk

 **QueenZee:** please do

 **gayforray:** yeah

 **Lancelot:** We miss you

 **grunt:** I guess

 **Trenchcoat:** Some of us don’t care

 **notbarryallen:** rude

 **monalisa:** you seem cool, I’d like to meet you 😸

 **notbarryallen:** pfft we’ll SEE

 **notbarryallen:** I was also invited by the wests tho

 **Lancelot:** Two reasons why to come

 **QueenZee:** so we’re doing this huh

 **gayforray:** you said you didn’t mind…?

 **QueenZee:** I mean the food is to die for

 **MiniDarhk:** zari + food = ❤️

 **grunt:** me + food = ❤️

 **gayforray:** true

**monalisa: 🍕**

**rayofsunshine:** Speaking of food, I think it’s time to bake some cookies, don’t you?

 **MamaWaverider:** I can provide that, don’t worry, Dr Palmer.

 **QueenZee:** yay

 **MiniDarhk:** god I love gingerbread

 **rayofsunshine:** But I thought that we could do it ourselves, just like with the turkey.

 **Trenchcoat:** Not more baking bonding please

 **gare-bear:** Excuse me, you’re good at cooking

 **Lancelot:** We’ve figured that out you know

 **Trenchcoat:** A bloke can’t keep a secret round here, can he

 **QueenZee:** nope

 **notbarryallen:** lol I wanted to send a gingerbread emoji but there isn’t any

**monalisa: 😂😂😂**

**MiniDarhk:** zari make one

 **QueenZee:** pressure much

 **rayofsunshine:** Well, it’s not like you’re actually doing anything…

 **QueenZee:** do you have to blow the whistle on me like this

 **QueenZee:** make your own emojis

 **MissTimeBureau:** You made them the last time.

 **MiniDarhk:** nice ava

**QueenZee: 💩**

**trickstergoddess:** hey can any of you make scones

 **MamaWaverider:** I can make everything.

 **gayforray:** except like a mammoth steak but ok

 **Trenchcoat:** What would you want that for

 **gayforray:** tasting history

 **QueenZee:** ugh

**MiniDarhk: 😱**

**MamaWaverider:** If you want a mammoth steak, I suggest you fly to the ice age and kill a mammoth.

 **Lancelot:** Not even Gideon has the stomach for your weird foods, Nate

**notbarryallen: 😂😂😂**

**gayforray:** nice one, I admit

 **MamaWaverider:** That was funny, captain.

 **Lancelot:** I know

 **gayforray:** also

 **gayforray:** we finished Doctor Who so I thought we could watch like all the time travel shows that exist

 **trickstergoddess:** self indulgent much

 **notbarryallen:** I see you’re getting the lingo

 **monalisa:** yeet

 **rayofsunshine:** I like that idea!

 **Lancelot:** Yeah and then it’s gonna be you two yelling at the TV about scientific inaccuracies

 **gayforray:** don’t forget historical inaccuracies

 **gayforray:** but Dirk Gently is fun

 **notbarryallen:** do you know timeless

 **gayforray:** bro I know them all

 **MissTimeBureau:** More TV shows nights, yay.

 **Lancelot:** Don’t sound too excited

 **MissTimeBureau:** How do you know I’m not?

 **Lancelot:** Babe, I know you

 **gayforray:** Ava, you love them

 **QueenZee:** yeah, pizza and stupid shows

 **MiniDarhk:** what’s not to love about that

 **MissTimeBureau:** The company.

 **rayofsunshine:** I thought you’re getting along with Mick and John now.

 **grunt:** why is it always me I haven’t done anything

 **QueenZee:** keep living in your beer bubble

 **grunt:** ok

 **trickstergoddess:** its me innit

 **MissTimeBureau:** I mean, nothing personal, but sometimes you’re just… too irritating.

 **trickstergoddess:** that is personal but ok im gonna stay out of your way if you so desire

 **gayforray:** what happened?

 **trickstergoddess:** ask her

 **MissTimeBureau:** It’s not worth mentioning, I’m sorry I said anything. I’ll come to watch whichever show you decide to binge next.

 **Lancelot:** That’s better

 **MissTimeBureau:** But just a thought, shouldn’t we maybe practice for the sports tournament?

 **QueenZee:** we

 **QueenZee:** you’re playing against us

 **MissTimeBureau:** You know what I meant.

 **MiniDarhk:** we’re clumsy idiots and we get it

 **notbarryallen:** also procrastinators

 **Lancelot:** Don’t call us out like this

 **gayforray:** it’s true ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **QueenZee:** yeah with our level of procrastination there will be no holidays

 **Lancelot:** Stop worrying about that

 **Lancelot:** Christmas Eve morning, we’ll wake up to shiny tinsel-decorated ship and a huge tree on the bridge, courtesy of Ray

 **Lancelot:** Gideon will have baked five kinds of cookies and the turkey and everything else

 **Lancelot:** Mick will have smuggled ten eggnog bottles onto the ship and some extra whiskey for it and we’ll get hammered

 **Lancelot:** Every Christmas like clockwork

 **MiniDarhk:** what if we want it different this year

 **Trenchcoat:** It’s a first for some of us

 **gare-bear:** I don’t even celebrate Christmas

 **QueenZee:** neither do I but figures

 **monalisa:** we should do it at the bureau or ava’s house

 **gayforray:** you’ve seen Ava’s house

 **monalisa:** yeah

 **MiniDarhk:** let’s irritate sara

**MiniDarhk: 🎄🎁🎅🏻🎄🎁🎅🏻🎄🎁🎅🏻🎄🎁🎅🏻🎄🎁🎅🏻🎄🎁🎅🏻**

**notbarryallen: 🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄**

**Lancelot: 🙄**

**rayofsunshine:** Or we could all get together like we did for Halloween!

 **rayofsunshine:** Since we didn’t help them, you know…

 **gayforray:** that would be chaos

 **notbarryallen:** so many presents

 **Lancelot:** For me, too 👀

**monalisa: 😂**

**rayofsunshine:** You know what else we could do, especially after this week?

 **gayforray:** NO DON’T SAY IT

 **rayofsunshine:** Create a group chat with all of us!

 **QueenZee:** please don’t

 **gayforray:** he said it

 **gayforray:** that would be even bigger chaos

 **MiniDarhk:** this is motherfucking chaos

 **Trenchcoat:** Don’t

 **grunt:** haircut, no

 **rayofsunshine:** Okay…


	74. whats tumblr

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> early by some standards and too late by other, i decorated our christmas tree today and i'm really starting to feel it! 
> 
> there will be a lot to write round christmas in this fic yet. i've got six chapters planned out! i hope i can post them before i leave town and the internet for the holidays, but i wouldn't count on it. i'm really busy this week...
> 
> either way, there's a new chapter right here, so i hope you enjoy it!

**2018/12/18**

 

 **notbarryallen:** how is no one here for 3 days

 **Lancelot:** Let’s just say a mission got real complicated real fast

 **notbarryallen:** so the usual legends antics

 **QueenZee:** hey

 **QueenZee:** maybe the person writing this is busy

 **gayforray:** okay Z we’re NOT fictional, we’ve established that

 **QueenZee:** but we were all created by god, you know, right, so technically that means we are fictional if you look at it from a certain point of view

 **QueenZee:** characters in books don’t feel fictional either but they are and the author is their god

 **QueenZee:** so what if we’re all characters in a book or a tv show

 **Lancelot:** Someone’s having an existential crisis

 **QueenZee:** I had a lot of time to think about it locked in that _dungeon_ while you were out there having fun with creatures

 **QueenZee:** besides, you started talking about it a few days ago

 **grunt:** so you’re saying god got bored and wrote a book and that’s humanity

 **MiniDarhk:** she’s saying he’s still writing it

 **rayofsunshine:** That reminds me of Supernatural.

 **MiniDarhk:** right

 **Trenchcoat:** You’re not entirely wrong, love

 **QueenZee:** huh

 **Lancelot:** This is a bit too depressing

 **Lancelot:** Change of topic

 **gayforray:** …

 **gayforray:** I thought you wanted to say something

 **Lancelot:** No, I told you to change the topic

**notbarryallen: 😂**

**gayforray:** _are_ we doing secret santa or not

 **Jaxon:** will u be in cc for the holidays or

 **Jaxon:** cuz if you were wed join u

 **Lancelot:** That’s great!

 **Lancelot:** But idk yet

 **rayofsunshine:** You’re the one who doesn’t wanna talk about it.

 **Lancelot:** Ugh fine

 **Lancelot: 👍**  for going out 👎 for staying on the ship

**grunt: 👍**

**gayforray: 👍**

**MiniDarhk: 👎**

**QueenZee: 👎**

**rayofsunshine: 👎**

**Trenchcoat: 👍**

**gare-bear: 👍**

**monalisa: 👍**

**MamaWaverider: 👎**

**trickstergoddess: 👍**

**MissTimeBureau: 👍**

**Lancelot:** That settles it then

 **rayofsunshine:** But we always celebrate Christmas on the ship!

 **gayforray:** doesn’t mean it’s a rule, baby

 **MissTimeBureau:** We could have dinner at our house and then come back on the ship later?

 **gayforray:** that’s in DC

 **Jaxon:** wed go there i guess ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **Lancelot:** Great

 **rayofsunshine:** I’m definitely decorating the ship anyway.

 **Jaxon:** thats a must

 **monalisa:** can I see the ship too

 **MiniDarhk:** sure

 **monalisa:** yayyy 😄💖

 **gayforray:** dinner in the house and party here, that’s reasonable

 **MamaWaverider:** Is it really?

 **MiniDarhk:** we’ll try not to break anything

 **notbarryallen:** haha I kinda miss this

 **rayofsunshine:** So come back.

 **QueenZee:** we told you before

 **notbarryallen:** yeah I know that

 **notbarryallen:** it’s just we said we’re really leaving the old life behind and doing this journey that’s just ours and coming back to the states so soon, idk

 **gayforray:** we respect you whichever decision you make, buddy

 **notbarryallen:** thx

 **Jaxon:** but u should come and bring rick too

**notbarryallen: 😂**

**monalisa:** yeah

 **monalisa:** also I bake so I could bring something u know

 **rayofsunshine:** That’s what I’m talking about!

 **gare-bear:** Please

 **MamaWaverider:** You keep making me feel useless.

 **MiniDarhk:** aww no

 **gayforray:** you can bake too Gideon

 **grunt:** more is better

 **QueenZee:** I agree

 **rayofsunshine:** @MiniDarhk we could make some cookies together too!

 **MiniDarhk:** do you want me to kill you or kill myself I barely handled those few cooking recipes

 **Lancelot:** You did great

 **QueenZee:** yeah ❤️

 **Jaxon:** “cooking recipes” tho

 **MiniDarhk:** you know, cooking recipes and baking recipes

 **monalisa:** makes sense

 **rayofsunshine:** It’ll make Zari and Nate and Mick and me happy 👀

 **grunt:** correct

 **trickstergoddess:** fancy word

 **QueenZee:** he’s an author now, he knows words

 **monalisa:** it’ll make me happy too

 **MiniDarhk:** ugh fine

 **rayofsunshine:** Great!

 **gare-bear:** You should maybe begin though, Christmas is on Tuesday

 **gayforray:** funny that you’re the one to remind us 😁 

 **gare-bear:** Everyone knows that?

 **MissTimeBureau:** Do you want me to make a batch of snickerdoodles?

 **Lancelot:** Always

 **grunt:** yeah

 **trickstergoddess:** theyre your favourite now eh

 **grunt:** hmm

 **MissTimeBureau:** Told you.

 **MamaWaverider:** Can I at least fabricate some gingerbread men?

 **trickstergoddess:** and scones

 **Lancelot:** They’re not really for Christmas

 **trickstergoddess:** who says im celebrating that

 **Trenchcoat:** Also some good old shortbread, yeah

 **grunt:** dry british cookies yuck

 **MissTimeBureau:** Excuse me, they’re good.

 **Trenchcoat:** And traditional

 **notbarryallen:** if gideon were human she’d be like

 **notbarryallen:** notice 👏 me 👏 somebody 👏

 **QueenZee:** don’t worry, Gideon, you’ll have plenty to do

 **Lancelot:** We love you

 **MamaWaverider:** You also owe the very ability to exist on this ship to me, so there’s that.

 **Jaxon:** ur not mistreating her are u

 **QueenZee:** I’m taking good care of her, Jax

 **rayofsunshine:** Don’t worry, the ship is as good as new, freshly returned from 1379 India.

 **MamaWaverider:** That was not the most pleasant environment if you ask me.

 **gayforray:** yeah I know

 **QueenZee:** yeah we met a real life Nagini and I do _not_ like snakes

 **monalisa:** omg you met a naga

 **QueenZee:** I had the same reaction but for an entirely different reason

 **notbarryallen:** oof

 **monalisa:** you know how everyone was pissed at jkr for making nagini an asian woman but like it’s literally in the name do you not _read_

 **monalisa:** nagini means _the female of a being that takes the form of a giant snake_

 **gare-bear:** Wait what

 **Jaxon:** r u a tumblr person cuz you sound like one

 **notbarryallen:** no she’s too sweet to be involved in fandom drama

 **monalisa:** daww but no jaxon is right

 **trickstergoddess:** whats tumblr

**monalisa: 👀**

**gayforray:** ok better don’t start with this

 **MiniDarhk:** 21st century studies lesson four: social media

 **MiniDarhk:** tomorrow @trickstergoddess

 **Lancelot:** Does anyone else feel like that’s gonna be a disaster

 **gayforray:** on the other hand, show her vines

 **Jaxon:** and memes

 **trickstergoddess:** how about we have that lesson now

 **MiniDarhk:** ray came here to drag me to the kitchen to do the baking

 **trickstergoddess:** you can do two things

 **MiniDarhk:** true

 **MiniDarhk:** unlike the guys

 **notbarryallen:** [ _image attached_ : pikachu.png]

 **notbarryallen:** hey not me

 **Jaxon:** ^^ thats a meme @trickstergoddess

 **notbarryallen:** (rick again) he did actually make that face

 **QueenZee:** picture?

 **notbarryallen:** he super-sped off

 **MiniDarhk:** we should just add you to this if you keep stealing his phone

 **Jaxon:** lmao

 

 **Jaxon** _added_ **RickGrayson** _to_ **World’s Biggest Poly SHIP**

 **Jaxon** _changed_ **RickGrayson’s** _name to_ **notadick**

 

 **Lancelot:** Wow clever

**gayforray: 👏**

**notadick:** really

 **notadick:** fine

 **QueenZee:** I see Wally updated you on the Earth-1 situation

 **notadick:** if I had that name I wouldn’t call myself Dick

 **gayforray:** honestly

 **Lancelot:** You can shorten Richard into Rick too

 **notadick:** tell him that

 **Lancelot:** Oliver said no one’s seen Bruce in years so I guess Dick’s not around anymore either

 **Lancelot:** They’d have met him

 **Lancelot:** There was only Batgirl

 **notadick:** you know Bruce is Batman

 **gayforray:** yeah

 **notadick:** I’ve been yelling about the obviousness of that for _years_

 **notbarryallen:** you never told me

 **notadick:** cause I didn’t know you know, idiot

 **notbarryallen:** you never asked

 **notadick:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **MiniDarhk:** ladies and gentlemen, these two are boyfriends

 **notbarryallen:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **QueenZee:** if that isn’t us though

 **MiniDarhk:** hmm… it… is

 **MiniDarhk:** sometimes

 **gayforray:** I only now realized you two have matching names @notbarryallen @notadick

**notbarryallen: 😂**

**notadick: 😂**

**Lancelot:** Yeah you’re definitely not a Dick

 **Lancelot:** On Earth-1 the Batfamily are all kinda gloomy and overly dramatic

 **rayofsunshine:** You’re right!

 **rayofsunshine:** Sometimes I forget you know all of those people.

 **Lancelot:** I know Oliver and he knows them

 **monalisa:** you know a lot of billionaires don’t you

 **Lancelot:** I know Oliver and he knows them

**MiniDarhk: 😂😂😂**

**Lancelot:** And, you know, there’s one on our team too

 **gayforray:** one and a half

 **QueenZee:** thought you said you didn’t want your dad’s money

 **gayforray:** maybe but I’m still the heir to it

 **notbarryallen:** ok mood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and adding rick to this wasn't my plan but it happened so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	75. all of them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the chat parts word document officially has more than 400 pages now, wow
> 
> enjoy more christmas shenanigans! (there's more to come yet)

**2018/12/21**

 

 **Trenchcoat:** Who is fucking blasting Christmas songs loud enough for me to hear it in the library

 **MamaWaverider:** Dr Palmer has requested me to play them while he’s working in the lab.

 **Trenchcoat:** Tell him to sod off then

 **grunt:** yeah I can hear it too

 **rayofsunshine:** Well sorry guys, but it’s the end of December, it’s Christmas song time!

 **Lancelot:** No it isn’t, thanks

 **trickstergoddess:** yeah

 **QueenZee:** they’re awful

 **rayofsunshine:** Is there someone who likes them? Just me?

 **MiniDarhk:** I like them

 **gayforray:** so do I <3

 **rayofsunshine:** Thank you!

**notbarryallen: 🎄**

**notadick:** oh no you too

 **QueenZee:** we too what

 **notadick:** have to listen to Christmas songs

 **gayforray:** you go Wally

 **notadick:** no don’t support him

 **notbarryallen:** hey

 **notbarryallen:** I wanna feel the atmosphere and all!

 **MiniDarhk:** exclamation point?

 **QueenZee:** question mark?

 **gayforray:** miracles

 **notbarryallen:** you have no idea what it looks like here in japan

 **notbarryallen:** [ _image attached_ : xmastokyo.jpeg]

 **QueenZee:** yikes

 **Lancelot:** That’s worse than America and they don’t even celebrate Christmas

 **rayofsunshine:** They do lately, but it’s mostly just commercial.

 **gayforray:** exactly

 **trickstergoddess:** bloody hell

 **trickstergoddess:** do they listen to that rubbish kpop music everywhere

 **notadick:** jpop but yeah

 **notbarryallen:** I like it but I wanna feel our Christmas you know

 **notbarryallen:** hence the songs

 **notadick:** someone doesn’t like them

 **monalisa:** who doesn’t like christmas songs

 **Lancelot:** Us

 **MiniDarhk:** most of us, you mean

 **Trenchcoat:** Give me a punk Christmas song and I’ll listen to it but not the cheesy pop shite

 **trickstergoddess:** amen

 **Lancelot:** I can’t really imagine that though

 **gayforray:** All I Want for Christmas Is You… but sang by a metal band

 **Trenchcoat:** I didn’t say metal, I said punk

 **QueenZee:** I’d take that too

 **notbarryallen:** do you know that all I want for christmas is cash parody

 **monalisa: 😂**  omg yeah

 **notadick:** don’t. don’t play it.

 **gayforray:** are you in the same room

 **notbarryallen:** actually no but same house

 **gare-bear:** Don’t get me started on Christmas songs parodies

 **monalisa:** you???

 **gare-bear:** I laugh at them

 **QueenZee:** everyone has hobbies

 **Trenchcoat:** Leave me out of this, please, love

 **gare-bear:** Okay… 😥

 **monalisa:** we can watch those at work together

 **gare-bear:** I take you up on that 😁

 **MissTimeBureau:** But reasonably, okay? We still have work to do, even before the holidays.

 **monalisa:** oh sure… hahaha

 **MiniDarhk:** you always show up at the right moment like

 **Lancelot:** She’s secretly a stalker

 **MissTimeBureau:** Hey, I’m not!

 **Lancelot:** You are, always reading the chat

 **Jaxon:** i mean same

 **gayforray:** the only people who really don’t go here are Lily and Amaya

 **rayofsunshine:** I did the research and found out you’re the one who talks the most here, Nate.

 **gayforray:** I gotta say it… lol

 **gayforray:** I’d say it’s Z or Wally

 **notbarryallen:** me too tbh

 **rayofsunshine:** You have around 1400 entries, the others have 1200 at best...

 **gayforray:** eyebrows go up

 **Lancelot:** There’s not an emoji for that, right

 **MiniDarhk:** zee

 **QueenZee:** you don’t use my emojis anyway

 **notbarryallen:** *rainbow heart*

 **Trenchcoat:** At least the music stopped

 **rayofsunshine:** I used headphones since it bothers you so much.

 **Lancelot:** It’s almost lunchtime anyway

 **MiniDarhk:** yay

 **notbarryallen:** it’s already tomorrow here

 **monalisa:** time zones are almost like time travel 👀

 **gare-bear:** …do you remember when you asked what the Time Bureau was and I told you we dealt with time zones

 **monalisa:** yeah

 **MissTimeBureau:** Well, technically that’s not _entirely_ wrong.

 **rayofsunshine:** Did anyone else think of the new Men In Black trailer?

 **gayforray:** the lunchtime scene

 **QueenZee:** I saw the movie like three times

 **notadick:** so did we

 **notbarryallen:** you weren’t supposed to say that

 **MiniDarhk:** we know you downloaded them

 **notbarryallen:** ik but not that we watched them

 **gayforray:** n o spoilers, please

 **MiniDarhk:** I didn’t see it

 **QueenZee:** that’s a first

 **rayofsunshine:** It’s not, she didn’t know Marvel movies.

 **MiniDarhk:** ^^

 **trickstergoddess:** whats men in black

 **gayforray:** another classic we gotta watch

 **QueenZee:** it’s about aliens

 **rayofsunshine:** And really funny.

 **Trenchcoat:** This time they’re going to London

 **gare-bear:** I didn’t know you were a fan

 **Trenchcoat:** Honestly, who hasn’t seen men in black

 **trickstergoddess:** I didnt

 **gayforray:** I’m looking forward to seeing Chris and Tessa together again

 **rayofsunshine:** They were amazing in Ragnarok.

 **trickstergoddess:** thats thor and valkyrie right

 **QueenZee:** yup

 **monalisa:** with the creatures around, time bureau kinda looks like mib, doesn’t it

 **MissTimeBureau:** Well, we don’t have them parading around the hallways.

 **gayforray:** maybe but it’s still similar

 **gayforray:** you admitted to copying the neuralyzers

 **gare-bear:** Yeah but shhh

 **MiniDarhk:** since we’re talking movies

 **MiniDarhk:** will we do another round of cringy xmas movies

 **Lancelot:** You mean like Love Actually

 **Lancelot:** Cause sure

 **grunt:** yeah not interested

 **MissTimeBureau:** Only if we do Home Alone.

 **gayforray:** all of them? hell yeah

 **monalisa:** also grinch

 **gayforray:** all of them

 **rayofsunshine:** Doctor Who Christmas specials

 **gayforray:** a l l o f t h e m

 **notbarryallen:** who else is pissed there’s not a special this year, only on new year’s day

 **gayforray:** everyone?

 **gayforray:** yeah now I get that I talk the most

 **QueenZee:** it’s been a week and all we do is talk about christmas, why

 **grunt:** I’m with you

 **Trenchcoat:** Can’t believe I’m saying this but for once I agree with Rory

 **MiniDarhk:** get your own chat then

 **notadick:** don’t worry, it’ll pass on 12/26

 **Lancelot:** I don’t like this much either _but_ you know what we could do on 12/26

 **Trenchcoat:** You mean Boxing Day

 **rayofsunshine:** We don’t actually call it Boxing Day here.

 **trickstergoddess:** hmm I see

 **QueenZee:** @Lancelot what

 **Lancelot:** Take the Waverider for another fun time travel trip

 **Lancelot:** Like pride

 **Lancelot:** Just because

 **gayforray:** okay I love this

 **MiniDarhk:** where

 **QueenZee:** and when

 **monalisa:** can I come with

 **rayofsunshine:** Ooh, I want to see the Live Aid concert in 1985.

 **gayforray:** YES BABY

 **Lancelot:** Which one

 **rayofsunshine:** Wembley.

 **gayforray:** both

 **Trenchcoat:** I’d actually go there too

 **rayofsunshine:** Now _that’s_ a first.

 **notbarryallen:** someone watched bohemian rhapsody

 **rayofsunshine:** Who says it’s because of that?

 **notbarryallen:** is it

 **rayofsunshine:** Yeah.

 **gayforray:** I cried

 **gayforray:** twice

 **notadick:** you watch a lot of movies

 **MiniDarhk:** that’s us

 **QueenZee:** do you have any idea how many times those two watched the movie

 **notadick:** twice?

 **rayofsunshine:** Five times, actually.

 **Jaxon:** wow

 **gayforray:** what, it’s the movie of the century

 **monalisa:** says a historian

 **gayforray:** of this century

 **gayforray:** star wars are still better

 **MiniDarhk:** there are star wars in this century

 **gayforray:** I mean the original trilogy

 **notbarryallen:** don’t argue with a historian pls

 **gayforray:** and you score

 **notbarryallen:** also don’t use sports metaphors when you’re a historian

 **MiniDarhk:** touché

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for the record, i truly hate all christmas songs ever, and i try to avoid them. so far i've managed nicely this year, only heard _let it snow_ once. luckily, they don't play those on rock radio stations


	76. i'm still in bed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> due to a high concentration of christmas-related chapters, i moved forward in the timeline a bit and it's officially christmas eve here lol. and i might post an interlude chapter in a few minutes, too! like an early present, you know.
> 
> enjoy!

**2018/12/24**

 

 **gayforray:** so can I say it now

 **gayforray:** merry Christmas y’all who celebrate it 🎅🏻🎁🎄

 **QueenZee:** it’s not even Christmas yet

 **monalisa:** it’s xmas eve let him live

**monalisa: 🎅🏻🎁🎄**

**Lancelot:** Merry Christmas

 **Lancelot:** And you know what this means! Our softball and volleyball games

 **MissTimeBureau:** Oh yes, I can’t wait.

 **Trenchcoat:** To kick their arse

 **MissTimeBureau:** I’m not saying that’s not true…

 **QueenZee:** nuh-uh we got ready

 **trickstergoddess:** yeah we actually practised and we werent absolute rubbish at it

 **rayofsunshine:** Hey! I had the weirdest dream.

 **gayforray:** always trust ray to change the subject, I keep saying

 **MiniDarhk:** what dream 👀

 **rayofsunshine:** Iron Man had an iron emblem on his chest and always came to single women’s houses to do the ironing if they had an emergency and those women kept falling for him and he was insanely proud of his ironing skills.

 **gayforray:** iron man

 **gayforray:** doing the IRONING

 **gayforray:** genius

 **rayofsunshine:** I know, right?

 **Lancelot:** Sounds like something you’d dream about

 **MiniDarhk:** I wish I had dreams like this

 **MamaWaverider:** I can confirm that it’s all true, and that you missed a detail about Nora being one of the women.

 **MiniDarhk:** hang on, gideon, ray _dreamed about me_

 **QueenZee:** should I be jealous

 **gayforray:** you were all in for the poly ship thing so

 **QueenZee:** shouldn’t you be jealous

 **gayforray:** nah

 **gayforray:** I like Nora

 **monalisa:** like or _like_ like

**notbarryallen: 👀**

**trickstergoddess: 👀**

**notadick:** is this like a thing with you

 **MiniDarhk:** possibly

 **gayforray:** who knows anymore

 **trickstergoddess:** im knackered

 **Trenchcoat:** I don’t know about the rest of you but Charlie and I

 **QueenZee:** we know

 **monalisa:** @gayforray you never answered

 **gayforray:** jeez, Mona

 **gayforray:** we hang out

 **Lancelot:** Are we talking about that big crush on Nora Ray definitely used to have

 **rayofsunshine:** I’m dating Nate, it’s irrelevant now.

 **gare-bear:** I thought everyone had a crush on everyone pretty much?

 **gayforray:** basically

 **Trenchcoat:** Keep living under that illusion, love

 **MiniDarhk:** 😂

 **MiniDarhk:** and no one asks me about my feelings

 **monalisa:** I mean I can see right through the “there’s nothing between ray and me” bullshit so

 **MiniDarhk:**???

 **QueenZee:** this is not how I imagined this morning to go

 **notbarryallen:** u still in bed

 **QueenZee:** yup

 **QueenZee:** I’m lowkey scared what I’ll see when I walk out of the room

 **notadick:** tinsel hell

 **grunt:** that describes it well

 **notbarryallen:** I described it well

 **Lancelot:** To think Rick didn’t want to have anything to do with us

 **notadick:** sometimes I get bored too

 **rayofsunshine:** Are you insulting my decorations?

 **notbarryallen:** not at all……

 **MiniDarhk:** that’s a lot of periods

 **MissTimeBureau:** Don’t talk about periods now, thanks.

 **MiniDarhk:** sorry aves

 **MiniDarhk:** also @Lancelot

 **Lancelot:** She’s crankier than me can you believe

 **gayforray:** oof

 **QueenZee:** that’s a thing

 **MissTimeBureau:** Shut up, yeah.

 **MissTimeBureau:** We have an important game today.

 **gare-bear:** I can never tell at work?

 **Lancelot:** Ava’s a professional but try living with her

 **Lancelot:** Not that I’m not here to make you feel better ;)

 **monalisa:** do you want me to cheer you up or something, I’m good at that

 **MissTimeBureau:** I could do with a pickle sandwich and a bit of combat training.

 **monalisa:** well I can see to that sandwich 😄

 **gayforray:** sparring sessions? okay I’m in

 **rayofsunshine:** I don’t like that you’ll be playing against us.

 **gayforray:** sorry babe but I gotta stick to the new team now

 **gayforray:** it’s rules ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **monalisa:** I’m glad you’re on our side

 **gare-bear:** Yeah, bro!

 **gayforray:** you have Zari and Charlie and Sara and… actually that’s it

**notbarryallen: 😂**

**rayofsunshine:** We have to convince Mick and John to join the team.

 **Lancelot:** If we’re doing volleyball then yeah

 **Lancelot:** Gary you’re on

 **gare-bear:** Why me

 **QueenZee:** you’re the one dating John so you have the most power over him

 **Trenchcoat:** I can read this

 **gare-bear:** What’s your answer then?

 **Trenchcoat:** I can do magic but I really can’t do softball

 **Lancelot:** Can you do volleyball

 **Trenchcoat:** I’m more of a cricket guy myself

 **QueenZee:** of course you are

 **grunt:** I’m not playing your stupid games

 **MiniDarhk:** I’d do it

 **MissTimeBureau:** We agreed that’s a bad idea, Nora.

 **MiniDarhk:** *sigh* I know

 **Lancelot:** Well, we have three hours to figure it out

 **monalisa:** what’s your favorite food and dessert @Trenchcoat

 **Trenchcoat:** Sunday roast and raspberry scones

 **monalisa:** true english classic

 **trickstergoddess:** he bloody eats marmite, alright

 **Trenchcoat:** You don’t like that

 **trickstergoddess:** are you bonkers, it tastes like petroleum

 **gare-bear:** I have to agree on this one

 **monalisa:** if you play the game I’ll cook you a sunday roast and scones myself and bring it to the bureau

 **Trenchcoat:** You’ve got me

 **rayofsunshine:** If I knew that’s what it took…

 **monalisa:** @grunt you too

 **Lancelot:** He likes any food but mostly steaks

 **MiniDarhk:** and stays away from veggies

 **monalisa:** got it

 **grunt:** hmm you really know me

 **grunt:** I have to do it anyway don’t I

 **Lancelot:** Pretty much, yeah

 **rayofsunshine:** It’ll be fun!

 **MissTimeBureau:** Speaking of, you should get your asses here for practice if you don’t want to come dead last right away.

 **QueenZee:** I’m _still_ in bed

 **MiniDarhk:** don’t worry, I’ll get you out of it

 **trickstergoddess:** want me to help

 **notbarryallen:** now you’re really wishing I were there huh

 **gayforray:** um yeah

 **Trenchcoat:** Is no one talking about Zari, Nora, and Charlie all in one room together

 **Trenchcoat:** Sounds like the usual legends gossip

 **Lancelot:** You’re right

 **monalisa:** hmmm 👀

 **notbarryallen:** my my you’ve gone slow

 **rayofsunshine:** Now you’re spreading the gossip. You’ve become a true Legend, John.

 **Trenchcoat:** I have, haven’t I

 **Trenchcoat:** Bollocks

 **QueenZee:** please don’t be bollocks at volleyball

 **MissTimeBureau:** Or do.

 **gare-bear:** Tssh spite drives this one

 **MiniDarhk:** oh really

 **gayforray:** whose side you’re on exactly, Gary

 **gare-bear:** Uh, both…?

 **MissTimeBureau:** You gotta pick, Gary.

 **gare-bear:** I’m on our side don’t fire me

 **MissTimeBureau:** That’s better.

 **gayforray:** you’re asking a bisexual to choose though, that never ends well

**notbarryallen: 😂 🙌🏾**

**MissTimeBureau:** Well, Nate, I could ask you the same question.

 **gayforray:** don’t worry, boss, all feeling go aside today 😈

 **rayofsunshine:** That won’t end up well.

 **Lancelot:** No kidding

 **Lancelot:** So are we going or do I need to tell Gideon to shock your butts with static electricity

 **QueenZee:** we’re going and we’re going to win


	77. [interlude] volleyball

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so here's the game! i went for volleyball, cos i play it with my friends sometimes, and i actually took part in a christmas tournament a couple times, while i know jack about softball. i played that like three times in secondary school pe class ages ago and totally sucked at it, lol.
> 
> enjoy the second chapter today! <3

They were certainly not winning.

The score was 22:10 in favour of the Time Bureau—or one of their three teams, anyway.

The ragtag team the Legends have managed to form using all sorts of bribery wasn’t _entirely_ terrible, thank you very much, but they were no match for Ava, Nate, and four field agents who do this sort of thing every Wednesday. They only earned that tenth point because Agent Kaminski landed his serve outside the court.

Zari clapped her hands and tried to cheer them on. ‘Come on, guys, pulling miracles in impossible situations in kind of our jam, so don’t give up yet!’

If they were going to lose anyway, they could lose with a lower margin.

John rolled his eyes. It was weird seeing him in shorts. It was weirder seeing Mick in shorts.

‘Yeah, we can still win! We’ve faced worse odds before,’ Ray said. He picked up the ball and waited for the whistle, sweaty and determined. From the other side, Nate blew him a kiss. Then Mona sounded it and he successfully drove the ball into Ava’s arms. They passed it around, and then Agent Kim attacked. It bumped into John, who wasn’t fast enough to do anything about it.

23:10.

Charlie and Sara gave him the side-eye. ‘Told you I was a cricket guy. The only reason I’m doing this is cos I’m getting a meal out of it,’ he said. Ava looked entirely too pleased with herself.

She served now. Sara could handle it, but her blows were really hard and fast, and she never failed. Zari and Ray shared a Look. Oh boy. Here we go.

Except Ava used a different strategy and aimed at Zari. She was _not_ anticipating that. The ball bounced off her hands somehow and flew forward, right in that empty area between the back and front rows. Charlie and Mick both ran for it, and collided with a gasp.

Charlie huffed, ‘I’m sorry, I thought—’

‘That was mine,’ he grumbled and frowned at her. Oddly enough, he did take it seriously once they started playing.

Luckily, Sara’s assassin reflexes kicked in, and she sent the ball flying with just enough momentum to make it over the net. Nice save, Zari thought. But then there was Nate, who was a bitch when it came to volleyball, as they all found out with their faces turning into the human form of the shocked emoji.

He didn’t pass the ball. He lightly nudged it back onto their court so there were just millimetres between it and the net. Charlie wasn’t at her post yet. Ray didn’t have superspeed. Zari couldn’t use her totem.

24:10.

Maybe they _were_ entirely terrible.

But hey, this was just the first set. They could still turn things around later, right? As the Time Bureau softball T-shirts said, _they did things chronologically_. There was plenty of time for them to up their game and come up with a proper plan yet.

Charlie kicked the ball over to Ava. She served again. This time, she decided to go easy on them and send the ball toward Sara, who passed it to Mick, who passed it to Charlie. She attacked. Nate and Lana Kim blocked it. Charlie hit it again, this time passing it behind her. Probably on accident.

Ray set it and Mick sent it behind the front row players. Agents Kaminski and Crews were ready for it. The ball was John’s. He put his hands up and somehow passed it overhand. Ava bumped it. It flew at Kim. She passed it to Nate. He sent it right into Ray’s face, boyfriend or no boyfriend.

Zari flinched. But Ray saved it. Charlie passed it to John, and somehow, wonderfully, he gained them the eleventh point. It touched the floor before someone managed to make a dive for it.

The other team switched positions. Agent Crews served. It was 24:11. They just needed that one point to win. Nate was staring at Mick and actually _smirking_.

Sara handled the serve again. The teams passed the ball between them for almost a minute this time, until, inevitably, Zari sent it at the _wall_ because it was too fast and her brain didn’t figure out what to do on time.

There was an actual fucking buzzer at the scorer’s table. Mona pressed it. The awful sound resonated through the gym, like an anthem to the Legends’ crushing defeat. The other team immediately formed a circle of high fives and cheers.

Zari wanted to crawl into the ground. It was her mistake.

Then the Legends were round her too, saying it didn’t matter.

‘Don’t give up, you said it yourself,’ Ray said.

Yeah, okay, let’s face it—they’ll most likely lose the next set too, and then the third. But they can’t give up. They’re the Legends, goddammit. ‘You’re right,’ she nodded.

‘Let’s go out in style,’ said Sara, and she took the words right out of Zari’s mind. Because no matter how humiliating the defeat actually was, it was also an utter and undeniable _fun_ , and that was what this was about in the first place. She wished she had her phone, because some of the moments were truly priceless and group chat video worthy.

Ray walked over to the bench. They followed him and drank from their water bottles or, in Mick’s case, a bottle that should but definitely didn’t contain water.

‘No, even better, let’s finally show them who’s boss,’ he said and cracked a smile. Wow. That was rare.

Charlie gave him a friendly bump on the arm. ‘Yeah. This time we’ll score at least 15 points.’

‘Let’s go Legends!’


	78. [interlude] non-christmas christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **for lenniefrost** on tumblr, who requested john and childhood angst. i hope you like this! idk if there's enough of that but i tried
> 
> i wrote the whole thing listening to iamx and let me tell you, his songs are the perfect soundtrack for it

It was almost even worth it.

Getting involved in an embarrassing, pointless team event on bloody Christmas Eve for a Sunday roast on a Monday with Gary and Mona when he hated Christmas. It brought back memories he wanted to keep buried deep, deep down.

It always did. Every year, he remembered. When he was on his own, or with Chas, he could just eat lots of food and drink his way into oblivion, or maybe pick up another lonely person at the bar and have a nice shag before sending them back out. But he wasn’t alone this year.

The Legends. They decorated the ship and baked gingerbread and sang along to awful songs and had a fucking Secret Santa thing going on, radiating the cheery happiness and family spirit that was what Christmas was about for everyone else. And they made him take part in all that.

They didn’t know.

 

His father had yelled at him to get him another beer and set the table or else. His sister had watched it all in fear and never did anything about it. He had lit the tree on fire once, because he’d just had _enough_ and found rage he’s never seen before within him, aimed at him. The hits he’d earned for that left _marks_. The only presents he got had been from Cheryl. Dinner had usually been mashed potatoes and some chicken or beef of questionable origin. He had often cried in bed on Christmas Day evening.

He hadn’t known magic back then, and he wished he had. Maybe it would have been different.

 

‘Earth to John,’ Gary said, concerned, waving his hand in front of his face.

Mona leant forward and looked him in the eye, a piece of potato on her fork. ‘Are you okay?’

_Course I’m okay, love, it’s Christmas and I’ve got you two in my bed before we even had a drink_ , he wanted to say, be his usual flirty self. Instead, he turned to her and said, ‘Have a guess, sweetheart.’

‘Oh no, is the sports tournament? I’m sorry you came last—’

He cut Gary off. ‘I don’t give a fuck about the bloody tournament, Gary, I only played to get this,’ he pointed at the plate in his lap, ‘it’s delicious, by the way, you’re an amazing cook,’ he told Mona. ‘It’s this. All the sodding decorations and Ray being even more chirpy than usual. Christmas isn’t a good time for me.’

Fuck, he really needed that drink.

Mona laid her fork onto her plate, not eating the potato. Her hand touched John’s arm. ‘You should’ve said something. I didn’t know, the chat made it sound like—I’m sorry.’

Gary shuffled closer to him and managed to turn his plate over. He got Yorkshire puddings and potatoes all over himself and the duvet they were sitting on, resting their back against the wall. ‘Oh, shoot,’ he said as he collected the mess. Then, ‘Do you wanna talk about it?’

‘No.’ He ate a piece of meat.

‘Okay, I know what you need,’ said Mona, getting up. She tore down all the light chains and tinsel Ray had installed into every single room on the ship, bathroom included. It lay on the table in a chaotic heap. ‘There. Now, where do you keep the alcohol?’

He pointed at the first drawer in his desk. She fished out a bottle and returned on the bed, no glasses. It ended up in his hands, and a minute later, he took three gulps.

Gary took it from him. He still hasn’t learnt how to drink and not throw up. ‘Don’t drink too much,’ John reminded him. Gary did probably drink too much. He was Gary. Then he passed it to Mona, his whole body pressing against John’s.

‘It was my arsehole father, the reason I hate this bloody holiday so much. It was a nightmare growing up the way I did, with good ol’ Tommy Constantine.’ He spiked another piece of beef on a fork. He scoffed at his pathetic life.

And we’re not even talking about Neron, who _still_ haunted his dreams.

‘John, I’m so sorry,’ they both said, and laughed at it. Mona gave him the bottle. ‘Here, have more of this and one of those scones.’

He drank. There wasn’t much whisky left when he was done.

So it was the usual then, anyway. Only he wasn’t in a pub, and they weren’t random strangers.

‘Yeah, this is gonna be the best Christmas ever, because it’s not gonna be Christmas at all,’ Gary said excitedly. ‘I mean, I’m Jewish, so. Don’t care about it anyway.’

‘And I can always celebrate with the Legends later. Now eat up and give that to me.’ She took a sip, and then another, and then offered the rest to Gary, who, stupidly enough, didn’t refuse and downed it with a grimace.

‘I appreciate it, but you don’t have to,’ John said.

‘You really think that?’ Gary asked. His mouth stretched into that big, contagious smile of his. ‘Told you before. Badass agent. I can handle it. We’re amazing.’

He leant in to kiss him.

The alcohol was definitely starting to work its effect on him. John, too. ‘Gideon, play some music. You know the drill. Thanks.’

‘Of course, Mr Constantine,’ the AI said somewhere from the ceiling, and a second later, a faint tune he didn’t actually recognise but certainly liked started playing. It was a hundred times better than the horrible Christmas songs that played at the Bureau all day. Thousand times better.

‘I like this,’ Mona said to no one in particular. She ate some more of the roast. ‘I’m giving up Christmas songs for this, you know. I’m serious.’

‘I still don’t understand how you can intentionally listen to those,’ he shook his head.

‘I mostly listen to the parodies, but like, those songs are all positive and about love, and just, it’s kind of my vibe, you know? Ugly sweaters, too much eggnog, _Last Christmas_ on repeat. I’m a romantic.’

John nudged Gary, who was struggling with cutting the meat and sort of just staring at it. ‘So is he. You should be together and forget about the old sod I am.’

‘You’re joking right now, right? Are you joking?’ Gary’s head and, subsequently, eyebrows shot up. ‘I like Mona. A lot. I mean. But I love you, John. Too. I love you too. Fuck—’

He wasn’t sure whether he was joking or not, but he knew that Gary was even more adorable when he was drunk, right before he started babbling about utter nonsense and then inevitably ended up speeding to the toilet.

‘When will you finally believe it when we say we’re not leaving?’ Mona put her arm round John’s shoulders. Her hand touched Gary’s shoulder. ‘We’re here to make up for the bullshit from your childhood and fix Christmas for you. I’ve made that my personal mission five minutes ago.’

She kissed his cheek. The spot tingled. He looked at her.

‘This is a terrible idea,’ he said. ‘You don’t know anything about my childhood, and trust me, you don’t want to. I’m fucked up, and I fuck others up too.’

‘I work with magical creatures. You do magic. Gary catches those creatures. We all play D&D. We’re more alike than you think, because guess what, I grew up with three siblings and no dad and I had to work since I was 14, and I still became the person I am now. You don’t know anything about me either.’

‘And she called you the third coolest person she met,’ Gary offered. John’s gaze travelled from her to him and then back at her. No one was eating now. He wasn’t really hungry anymore.

‘Yeah, I did,’ Mona admitted with a smile. ‘Cause it’s true. About both of you.’

Gary’s response was a grin even wider. ‘No one ever called me cool before!’

Screw it, John thought. This whole emotional support group and alcohol combination was working. Even if he was a lost cause, damned to hell, damaged, hating Christmas. That wouldn’t change, but maybe it could shut the memories up for a bit.

Almost worth it.

He kissed Gary again. ‘You’re a cool bloke, Gary.’ Mona’s arm was still wrapped round his neck. He looked her in the eye and raised one eyebrow.

She moved first. It was a chaste kiss, really. She pulled away quickly and asked, mainly Gary, ‘Is this okay? I don’t know, I’ve never, it’s confusing…’

Gary put his plate down again, this time not spilling anything. Awkwardly, he scooted forward on the bed and got up. He took two steps to the side and stopped right in front of her. John watched the situation unfold, thinking he could use a smoke.

He knew he was right about those two. But maybe they weren’t so different…?

And it was something all of the group chat said, too.

Gary kissed Mona, and it was less chaste.

John’s personal experience was that these relationships rarely lasted. He’s been thinking about it, and he thought about it even now. It was the whisky, most likely, but he just wanted to join them, damn what comes next. He had a history of falling for shiny people who were better than him.

He felt a tightness in his heart. And, okay, trousers, too.

Gary pulled away. ‘Wow, okay, I’ve wanted to do that for a while now,’ he told her. He looked at John, and was that guilt in his eyes?

‘You’ve got nothing to be guilty about, love,’ John said.

‘I’m gonna get us more alcohol.’ Taking slightly wobbly steps, he walked to the desk and took an identical bottle out of the second drawer. It was full, still stamped. ‘We’re gonna have the best non-Christmas Christmas ever, John.’

In that moment, John chose to believe him.


	79. we had a threesome

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> merry christmas!!! 
> 
> have more christmas with the legends :)

**2018/12/25**

 

 **MiniDarhk:** how was post-volleyball rebound sex

 **notbarryallen:** jumping straight to the good questions

 **gare-bear:** Great

 **MiniDarhk:** I wasn’t asking you

 **gayforray:** ahem 😊

 **gayforray:** how do you know

 **MiniDarhk:** heard it

 **QueenZee:** you were loud af do you realize that

 **notbarryallen:** literally

 **rayofsunshine:** Oh dear.

 **Lancelot:** And no one asks me

 **gare-bear:** Or me

 **Lancelot:** We all played against our SOs

 **QueenZee:** and was it a massacre

 **MissTimeBureau:** I told you, a game is a game.

 **gayforray:** all feelings aside

 **trickstergoddess:** we saw

 **MiniDarhk:** that’s why you were so loud

 **grunt:** I got no rebound sex

 **QueenZee:** should’ve told Charlie

 **trickstergoddess:** bet he was busy with his right hand

 **notadick:** what is happening here 🤦🏻♂️

 **notbarryallen:** a normal conversation

 **MiniDarhk:** okay avalance how was your rebound sex

 **Lancelot:** Beyond great

 **MissTimeBureau:** I… don’t want to talk about it.

 **gayforray:** hmmmm

 **Trenchcoat:** I bet you didn’t have any sex at all

 **Lancelot:** Excuse me, we did

 **gare-bear:** So did we

 **MiniDarhk:** again, no one wants to know

 **MiniDarhk:** no news

 **monalisa:** we had a threesome

 **MiniDarhk:** news

 **MiniDarhk:** me want to know

 **notbarryallen:** lol

**gayforray: 👀**

**Lancelot: 👀**

**QueenZee:** wait what

 **notbarryallen:** finally

 **MiniDarhk:** ot3 got together, shouldn’t you say

 **notbarryallen:** hey

 **notadick:** seriously is this a normal conversation

 **Trenchcoat:** Yes

 **gare-bear:** There was alcohol and food and well

 **gayforray:** how aren’t you freaking out more

 **monalisa:** he is

 **MiniDarhk:** you’re still here omg

 **Trenchcoat:** [ _image attached_ : inbed.jpeg]

 **QueenZee:** k I didn’t need to see that

 **MissTimeBureau:** Me neither.

 **trickstergoddess:** but I did

 **Lancelot:** It’s gonna be alright, Aves

 **notbarryallen:** anyway it’s christmas for real today

 **rayofsunshine:** Some countries celebrate it on Christmas Eve.

 **notadick:** earth-18 does too

 **Jaxon:** merry xmas weirdos

 **gayforray** _sent a GIF_

 **Lancelot:** You weirdoes should come and have breakfast

 **grunt:** only if there’s cookies

 **MiniDarhk:** do you have any idea how long we spent baking

 **MamaWaverider:** Or giving me precise instructions.

 **grunt:** long?

 **rayofsunshine:** There are cookies, Mick.

 **monalisa:** and my scones

 **Trenchcoat:** Did you make the shortbread

 **Lancelot:** We have like ten kinds of cookies

 **Trenchcoat:** I’m also gonna see a tonne of lights and decorations, aren’t I

 **monalisa:** yeah

 **gayforray:** you were here yesterday

 **gare-bear:** Yeah, but we’re doing a non-Christmas Christmas

 **monalisa:** none of that for john

 **monalisa:** we took it all off

 **QueenZee:** you’re my kind of people

 **QueenZee:** sorry Nora

 **MiniDarhk** my ugly sweater and I are happy in ray’s decorated world

**rayofsunshine: 💛**

**gayforray:** can I ask why

 **Trenchcoat:** It’s personal

 **rayofsunshine:** I didn’t know it bothered you so much.

 **Trenchcoat:** It’s fine, Ray, we’re coming

 **gare-bear:** To the kitchen

 **rayofsunshine:** Yeah, I figured.

 **notbarryallen:** did you get boring you don’t even react to obvious innuendos anymore

 **Lancelot:** Don’t insult us

 **MiniDarhk:** I’m thinking more of breakfast than of reading this

 **QueenZee:** same

 **notbarryallen:** you turned into mick 😂

 **gayforray:** we still talk here though

 **grunt:** I talk here

 **gayforray:** not as much as us

 **rayofsunshine:** New topic: when do we leave for Sara and Ava’s? Do we bring anything?

 **MissTimeBureau:** I think around 5?

 **Lancelot:** Bring the food

 **QueenZee:** obviously

 **MissTimeBureau:** We’ve already got the turkey.

 **Lancelot:** And lots of alcohol

 **Trenchcoat:** Good

 **gayforray:** do we take the presents

 **MiniDarhk:** do we even have all the presents

 **rayofsunshine:** We all have two, how hard can that be?

 **Trenchcoat:** You’d be surprised, mate

 **grunt:** yeah

 **Lancelot:** Aww you all got me an extra present

 **trickstergoddess:** what makes you think that

 **Lancelot:** It’s my birthday ;)

 **QueenZee:** you got us

 **MiniDarhk:** happy birthday ✨

 **notbarryallen:** yeah happy birthday 🎂🎈🎊🎉

 **notadick:** happy bday from me too

 **Jaxon:** have a good one and dont drink too much ;)

 **MamaWaverider:** Happy birthday, Captain.

 **monalisa:** aww happy bday sara!!! 🎂🎈🎊🎉

 **Lancelot:** Thanks 💖

 **notbarryallen:** it would be funny if a creature popped up right now

 **gayforray:** don’t say that

 **rayofsunshine:** Yeah, we have a history of jinxing it.

 **MiniDarhk:** you do

 **QueenZee:** ^^

 **notbarryallen:** jeez sorry

 **notbarryallen:** did anything happen? no

 **notadick:** it still could

 **rayofsunshine:** So how about you, how are you celebrating?

 **notadick:** it’s almost 12/26 here

 **notbarryallen:** we’re watching a movie in bed

 **monalisa:** what movie

 **notbarryallen:** die hard

 **gayforray:** ahh, a Jake Peralta Christmas

 **MiniDarhk:** noice

 **QueenZee:** okay look at this delish

 **QueenZee:** [ _image attached_ : cookiebreakfast.jpeg]

 **notbarryallen:** I want

 **monalisa:** boys we should go there and have some of those

 **gare-bear:** Ooh definitely

 **Lancelot:** You’re so slow

 **gare-bear:** We’re hungover

 **gayforray:** yikes

 **MiniDarhk:** did you throw up @gare-bear

 **gare-bear:** I did

 **Trenchcoat:** You shouldn’t’ve drank so much, love, I told you

 **gayforray:** I never thought John could sound like a caring husband but here we are

 **notbarryallen:** you’re right 😂

 **MiniDarhk:** development 👍🏻

 **notbarryallen:** okay I know you’re all there but we aren’t so allow me to say a few words

 **notbarryallen:** 2018 was a great year for us, we didn’t screw up that much, we all found love and in those last 4 months we all became better people so I don’t care we’re out of sync I just wanna say ily

**QueenZee: ❤️**

**gayforray:** ily too buddy

 **Lancelot:** I think we can thank Ray’s distracting chat for this

 **rayofsunshine:** I told you it was going to be fun!

 **MiniDarhk:** oh it is 👀

 **gayforray:** for real, though

 **gayforray:** 4 months ago, we didn’t know we were all LGBT, John hated us, Nora wasn’t here, neither of us were together except for Sara and Ava, you were all shipping Ray and me and we didn’t get it, this was way too sexual… what a mood

 **MiniDarhk:** amen

 **QueenZee:** it’s still way too sexual but ok

**Trenchcoat: 😉**


	80. to us!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy beebo day everyone!
> 
> i'm going away tomorrow, and the next time i have an opportunity to post a chapter is... 2019. wow. time runs fast, doesn't it? i can't believe it's already been 5 months since i started writing this. and did i write a lot. 80 chapters exactly! i couldn't have done this without you, all the comments, the prompts, the love. it's, by all means, the longest work i've ever written (if only i could write my novels so fast *sigh*), and my favourite, too. so see you on 1/1, and have a happy new year!!! and don't drink too much ;)

**2018/12/25**

 

 **notbarryallen:** is it late enough for me to ask what presents you got

 **Lancelot:** I got a lot of ‘em

 **gayforray:** fucking socks

 **rayofsunshine:** Socks are a nice present.

 **notbarryallen:** was it mick

 **gayforray:** yup

 **rayofsunshine:** I got two spiked bracelets from Charlie.

 **QueenZee:** a plaid shirt with donuts on it

 **notbarryallen:** clever

 **Lancelot:** I know

 **QueenZee:** thanks, Sara 🍩 ❤️

 **grunt:** a box of beers, I think it was from pretty

 **MissTimeBureau:** A book from Nora, and two other presents from Sara.

 **MiniDarhk:** aves and I had each other

 **MiniDarhk:** in secret santa

 **MiniDarhk:** and you’ll never believe what she got me!!!

**notbarryallen: 👀**

**rayofsunshine:** God, that was such an emotional moment.

 **gayforray:** [ _video attached_ : noracrying.mp4]

 **notbarryallen:** you’re officially not in time bureau prison WAHT

 **notadick:** congrats?

 **MiniDarhk:** I don’t have to hide anymore I’m still in TEARS

**monalisa: 😚😚😚**

**MissTimeBureau:** It was the least I could do, Nora.

 **MiniDarhk:** I kinda platonically love you a lot

**MissTimeBureau: ❤️**

**monalisa: 😊**

**monalisa:** ray gave me a cool pink headband

 **rayofsunshine:** I’m glad you like it!

 **trickstergoddess:** I got earrings from gary

 **trickstergoddess:** love em

 **Lancelot:** Where are Gary and John again

 **trickstergoddess:** shagging in the bathroom for all I know

 **gayforray:** John went out to have a smoke and Gary went with him

 **notbarryallen:** are you parked in dc

 **QueenZee:** yeah

 **MiniDarhk:** at the bureau

 **gayforray:** just in case

 **Lancelot:** There’s _lots_ of alcohol here

 **notbarryallen:** oh yeah 😉

 **notbarryallen:** I got four presents from rick and a surprise one from my family

 **notbarryallen:** one was a polaroid camera

 **notadick:** you’re making a fuss 🙄

 **notbarryallen:** sara didn’t share hers either ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **Lancelot:** Clothes, slippers, a knife from John, a book, some sex toys ;)

 **MiniDarhk:** from ava 😉

 **MissTimeBureau:** You don’t have to tell everyone.

 **Lancelot:** Everyone saw me unwrapping it

 **Trenchcoat:** True ;)

 **QueenZee:** tell Wally what you got

 **QueenZee:** from me 😉

 **Trenchcoat:** A tie with pentagrams

 **Trenchcoat:** Very funny

 **notbarryallen:** but it is

 **gare-bear:** I got three Marvel Funko Pops!!! I’m so happy!!!

**monalisa: 😘**

**gare-bear: 😘**

**gayforray:** and y’all didn’t want to do secret santa

 **rayofsunshine:** Yes, it was fun in the end, right?

 **Lancelot:** I admit it

 **MiniDarhk:** it was

 **monalisa:** definitely 👀

 **Trenchcoat:** It wasn’t a terrible waste of my time, anyway

 **gare-bear:** Oh please, love

 **monalisa:** shopping for those presents was great

 **gayforray:** it’s gonna be even worse than before when those three are dating now, isn’t it

 **QueenZee:** …

 **monalisa:** idk what you’re talking about…haha…

 **notbarryallen:** enjoy it ;)

 **MiniDarhk:** you enjoy reading it

 **notbarryallen:** definitely

 **notadick:** this chat is like a soap opera

 **QueenZee:** WHAT DID WE SAY

 **gayforray:** I mean it was Lily but yeah

 **notadick:** who’s lily

 **rayofsunshine:** The daughter of a former Legend.

 **MiniDarhk:** @MiniStein

 **MiniStein:** Hi, I’m sorry, how long has it been?

 **MiniDarhk:** long

 **MiniDarhk:** you don’t even wish us merry xmas

 **MiniStein:** Try working while having a year-old baby and making the holidays perfect for your family.

 **rayofsunshine:** Merry Christmas, Lily!

 **MiniStein:** @notadick I did say that once 😄

 **notbarryallen:** look who _is_ wishing you merry christmas

 **notbarryallen:** [ _image attached_ : westfamilychat.png]

 **QueenZee:** the Wests have a messenger group

 **rayofsunshine:** Did you copy my idea 👀

 **gayforray:** you used the eYE EMOJI

 **gayforray:** say hi from me

 **Lancelot:** Yeah, from me too

 **notbarryallen:** iris copied your idea

 **notbarryallen:** and I did 👍🏾

 **notbarryallen:** [ _image attached_ : westfamilychat2.png]

 **notbarryallen:** [ _image attached_ : westfamilychat3.png]

 **Lancelot:** They sent a dinner selfie aww

 **MiniDarhk:** allen’s face 😂

 **QueenZee:** we should do one too

 **gayforray:** oh definitely

 **Lancelot:** Okay

 **QueenZee:** [ _image attached_ : legendsdinner.jpeg]

 **notbarryallen:** permission to send it to the fam

 **rayofsunshine:** Go for it!

 **rayofsunshine:** I’m just saying, a group chat with all the heroes wouldn’t be such a bad idea.

 **Trenchcoat:** And I’m saying it would be

 **QueenZee:** I agree

 **Lancelot:** I forbid you to make it, Ray

 **rayofsunshine:** I got it the last time.

 **notbarryallen:** barry says “cool sweaters” and iris says you’re cute

 **notbarryallen:** and I agree

 **monalisa:** the sweaters were my idea 😄

 **MiniDarhk:** our idea, you mean

 **Trenchcoat:** They’re a menace if you ask me

 **monalisa:** we had our non-christmas christmas yesterday and today morning, you gotta suffer a bit now 😉

 **QueenZee:** with me

**Trenchcoat: 🖕🏻**

**monalisa: 💖**

**gare-bear: 💙**

**notadick:** don’t worry Wally put me in one too

 **notadick:** [ _image attached_ : disgraces.jpeg]

 **gayforray:** did you send that to the West chat, Wally 👀

 **notbarryallen:** of course

 **monalisa:** you’re adorable

 **notadick:** we’re not

 **notbarryallen:** we are babe

**notadick: 🙄**

**notbarryallen:** okay so since we’re at it

 **notbarryallen:** we’re going to korea after new year’s

 **notadick:** this week we’ll travel the nature and less known placed in Japan

 **notbarryallen:** then it’s goodbye 🇯🇵 hello 🇰🇷

 **notadick:** it’s been really nice here but if we want to travel all of Asia in a year

 **Lancelot:** You what

 **gayforray:** wow, that sounds cool

 **MiniDarhk:** ambitious

 **monalisa:** how do you get the money though

 **notbarryallen:** we stay with people and help them and stuff so we save a lot

 **notadick:** no expensive hotels

 **notbarryallen:** that was just tokyo

 **MamaWaverider:** That sounds great.

 **notbarryallen:** it is 👌🏾

 **gare-bear:** Does is beat time travel though

 **notbarryallen:** yes cause we don’t run into monsters

 **QueenZee:** rude

 **gayforray:** that’s not our fault

 **Lancelot:** And we still have fun

 **Trenchcoat:** I think you’re forgetting it is your fault

 **grunt:** trenchcoat’s right

 **rayofsunshine:** Maybe it is, but we always fix it!

 **grunt:** by creating a bigger problem

 **QueenZee:** that’s future us’ problem ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **MiniStein:** I’m a little worried about that attitude.

 **grunt:** yeah, what’s next, aliens

 **gayforray:** those are Supergirl’s problem

 **gayforray:** maybe the dead?

 **QueenZee:** the government

 **MiniDarhk:** robots

 **rayofsunshine:** Do you know something we don’t?

 **QueenZee:** nope…

 **Lancelot:** Time is fluid, anyway, it can still change

 **trickstergoddess:** were the experts on that, arent we, john-o

 **Trenchcoat:** So I made a bloody mistake once

 **monalisa:** that can happen to anyone

 **QueenZee:** I’m never forgiving you for the cat though

 **Trenchcoat:** I don’t need you too, you deserved it

 **QueenZee:** so did you

 **Trenchcoat:** I admit that

 **Lancelot:** Anyway

 **Lancelot:** Let’s fire it up a bit

 **grunt:** drinking games

 **MiniDarhk:** yes

 **gayforray:** no…

 **notbarryallen:** have fun 😉

 **Lancelot:** We’re not doing drinking games

 **Lancelot:** But we are drinking

 **rayofsunshine:** To us!


	81. seriously, i'm leaving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
> 
> so i'm back! once again i fell a little behind on time, mostly because i wrote a super extra fucking long chapter that has over 30 pages and takes place in the same day, which is 26/12, and i had to split it in three, and there's an interlude between parts 2 and 3, so even if there is an actual new year's day chapter, i'll be posting it on the 9th... but at least you have something to look forward to 
> 
> now, there are a few guests in this one (and the next three)! so enjoy!

**2018/12/26**

 

 **rayofsunshine:** Who else is sick???

 **MiniDarhk:** three question marks

 **MiniDarhk:** you are

 **QueenZee:** not me

 **Lancelot:** Obviously

 **gayforray:** I’ve got a bit of a headache but

 **grunt:** never

 **rayofsunshine:** There is a reason I don’t drink…

 **QueenZee:** don’t listen to John 👏

 **Trenchcoat:** Yeah, everything’s always on me

 **notbarryallen:** what did you do 👀

 **Lancelot:** Got Ray drunk, what do you think

 **notbarryallen:** ooooofff

 **rayofsunshine:** That’s exactly how I feel.

 **MamaWaverider:** Don’t worry, Dr Palmer, I can fabricate the perfect soup to make you feel better.

 **MiniDarhk:** okay I feel like we should be the one to care

 **MiniDarhk:** right

 **gayforray:** yeah now I feel bad

 **notadick:** you should, you’re his boyfriend

 **gayforray:** I said I had a headache…

 **rayofsunshine:** It’s okay, babe.

 **Lancelot:** So, on another note

 **Lancelot:** Are we doing the concert today?

 **rayofsunshine:** I feel like curling up in bed and doing nothing all day, but sure, let’s go see the biggest concert in history.

 **gayforray:** aw no, we don’t have to

 **gayforray:** I’m all for staying in bed with you

 **MiniDarhk:** of course you are ;)

 **QueenZee:** we can always go tomorrow

 **trickstergoddess:** this is a time machine

 **Lancelot:** Time ship

 **grunt:** same thing

 **notbarryallen:** k I might be a bit slow but how did john get ray drunk

 **gayforray:** says a speedster

 **monalisa:** uhh do you really wanna know

 **Lancelot:** I’ve got a video

 **rayofsunshine:** Oh no.

 **Trenchcoat:** I agree

 **Lancelot:** [ _video attached_ : dare.mp4]

 **notbarryallen:** yikes that’s tough

 **notadick:** I’m kinda laughing though

 **notbarryallen:** I mean same 😂

 **MiniDarhk:** we all were yesterday

 **rayofsunshine:** It was really disgusting.

 **gayforray:** it’s tequila what do you want

 **Lancelot:** But tequila is fun

 **grunt:** did you at least punch somebody or make out with them

 **gayforray:** idk about the punching part but there was definitely some making out 😉

 **gare-bear:** Here too 😉

 **notbarryallen:** did he pour tequila into you too

 **Trenchcoat:** I wouldn’t do that

 **monalisa:** Gary can’t hold it and we know better

**gare-bear: 👍💖**

**gayforray:** why did you do it to Ray then

 **MiniDarhk:** you encouraged him and don’t pretend you didn’t

 **gayforray:** hehe

 **Trenchcoat:** He wouldn’t if he didn’t want to

 **Trenchcoat:** And it’s Christmas

 **Lancelot:** Don’t you hate Christmas

 **Trenchcoat:** Exactly

 **rayofsunshine:** Can someone please bring me breakfast?

 **gayforray:** on it

 **gayforray:** I’m bringing Gideon’s soup

 **rayofsunshine:** God, I love you so much.

 **gayforray:** it’s fine if you call me Nate 😉

**MiniDarhk: 😂**

**monalisa: 😂**

**gayforray:** I love you too

 **rayofsunshine:** I’ve also been thinking, where’s Ava? Wasn’t she here?

 **MiniDarhk:** she’s having an actual irl conversation with us in the galley

 **notbarryallen:** that’s rare these days

 **rayofsunshine:** Makes sense.

 **QueenZee:** I love how nothing can make you lose the proper grammar

 **MiniDarhk:** not even a killer hangover

 **rayofsunshine:** It hurts a bit, but I can’t help it.

 **monalisa:** I hope you’ll get better soon

 **rayofsunshine:** Thank you! Me too!

 **Trenchcoat:** I feel like I should apologise

 **grunt:** it was fun seeing haircut get drunk

 **rayofsunshine:** Never again.

 **MiniDarhk:** new year’s eve is in five days

 **notadick:** time travelers celebrate that

 **gayforray:** some of us run on 2018 time

 **monalisa:** yeah

 **grunt:** and it’s another excuse for getting super drunk

 **gayforray:** what do you say, should we hit star labs again

 **Lancelot:** For a New Year’s Eve celebration

 **rayofsunshine:** I’d love to meet up with them again!

 **grunt:** can we have a lot of fireworks

 **Lancelot:** Sure, Mick

 **QueenZee:** as long as Central City doesn’t burn down

 **notbarryallen:** mood

 **grunt:** don’t worry

 **gayforray:** okay I’ll ask Barry

 **Lancelot:** and I’ll ask Kara

 **rayofsunshine:** We should also invite Oliver and company, right?

 **MiniDarhk:** don’t say it would be easier if we had members of honor from their teams here

 **rayofsunshine:** Hey, how did you know?

 **MiniDarhk:** I know you

 **Lancelot:** It’s true though

 **gayforray:** it’s temporary don’t kill me

 

 **gayforray** _added_ **goodvibes** _,_ **smoakandmirrors** _, and_ **sunshinegirl** _to_ **World’s Biggest Poly SHIP**

 

 **goodvibes:** hello agAIN

 **QueenZee:** you’ve got Supergirl’s phone number

 **gayforray:** why is that weird

 **Lancelot:** Why didn’t you add Barry and Oliver

 **smoakandmirrors:** hey guys and also that’s a bit rude

 **grunt:** wait ramon was here before

 **notbarryallen:** when you got stuck in medieval england

 **goodvibes:** so what’s up, are you in danger again

 **gayforray:** we’re planning a new year’s eve party

**goodvibes: 👍🏽**

**smoakandmirrors:** you wanna meet at star labs again

 **Lancelot:** That’s what we wanted to discuss

 **sunshinegirl:** is this the legends chat??? wow hi

 **MiniDarhk:** why am I smiling

 **gare-bear:** Yeah

 **smoakandmirrors:** kara’s sunshine is contagious don’t you know that

 **notbarryallen:** carries across earths

 **QueenZee:** how do you even know about it

 **sunshinegirl:** Sara told me

 **notadick:** are you also from a different earth @sunshinegirl

 **sunshinegirl:** yeah, earth-38

 **notadick:** I’m from earth-18

 **sunshinegirl:** nice! so many 8s

 **goodvibes:** so, back to business

 **gayforray:** right

 **rayofsunshine:** We thought we could do something together, like on Halloween!

 **sunshinegirl:** you did something on halloween and didn’t invite us???

 **goodvibes:** sorry…

 **goodvibes:** that’s why we’re inviting you now

 **MiniDarhk:** this quickly became a “we”

 **grunt:** too many people, I don’t like this

 **monalisa:** then leave and drink your beer

 **trickstergoddess:** and you quickly became one of us

 **QueenZee:** says you

 **monalisa:** the legends adopted me, I’m staying here forever

 **MissTimeBureau:** No, you’re not, Mona.

 **MiniDarhk:** eavesdropping again… 👀

**monalisa: 😢**

**goodvibes:** ok I see you got distracted

 **gayforray:** happens

 **smoakandmirrors:** I asked the crew and they said they’d do it ☺️

 **Lancelot:** @sunshinegirl you gotta bring Alex ;)

**sunshinegirl: 🙄**

**sunshinegirl:** but of course I will, you think she’d let this opportunity pass

 **goodvibes:** also lena

 **smoakandmirrors:** you still hitting it off with her

 **goodvibes:** I like people with the brains

 **sunshinegirl:** let’s not forget she’s taken

 **sunshinegirl:** by me

 **QueenZee:** the irony here

 **sunshinegirl:**?

 **smoakandmirrors:** the name of this chat, obviously

 **goodvibes:** I approve 👍🏽

 **sunshinegirl:** hahaha

 **rayofsunshine:** I see we’re not getting anything done

 **Trenchcoat:** You should eat your soup and not mind this

 **Lancelot:** And now he cares

 **goodvibes:** hangover?

 **gayforray:** the mother of all hangovers

 **smoakandmirrors:** who got ray drunk

 **smoakandmirrors:** he doesn’t drink

 **Lancelot:** John

 **smoakandmirrors:** that explains a lot

 **gayforray:** sometimes I forget you used to date

 **rayofsunshine:** Well…

 **grunt:** you what

 **Trenchcoat:** It’s not even surprising, come to think of it

 **Lancelot:** You didn’t know?

 **QueenZee:** idk who’s former team Arrow here

 **sunshinegirl:** felicity and ray?

 **sunshinegirl:** well you seem like a match

 **smoakandmirrors:** thanks but I’m happily married now

 **MiniDarhk:** and ray’s close 😉😉😉

**QueenZee: 👀**

**notbarryallen: 👀**

**gayforray: 👀**

**rayofsunshine:** No, I’m not.

 **gayforray:** you did call me your time husband once

 **goodvibes:** interesting

 **goodvibes:** ok I get why you’re addicted to this

 **QueenZee:** we’re not

 **Lancelot:** Who told you

 **notadick:** definitely Wally

 **smoakandmirrors:** you’re wally bf, right, handsome blond guy?

 **notadick:** my name’s Rick, but I wouldn’t mind being called that ;)

 **notbarryallen:** okay handsome

 **sunshinegirl:** so. party.

 **sunshinegirl:** my friends are definitely in

 **smoakandmirrors:** yes stop changing the subject

**MiniDarhk: 😂**

**goodvibes:** [ _image attached_ : teamflashthread.png]

 **Lancelot:** So you too

 **goodvibes:** we too what

 **Lancelot:** Have a group chat

 **goodvibes:** it’s on messenger and we only use it like once a month

 **notbarryallen:** liar

 **goodvibes:** hey wally I keep forgetting you’re here

 **notbarryallen:** we’ve had it for years though

 **goodvibes:** he means team flash

 **QueenZee:** obviously

 **goodvibes:** we’re not always at star labs you know

**QueenZee: 👍**

**gayforray:** anyway, that means they’re in, right

 **goodvibes:** will you bring the food and alcohol or

 **Lancelot:** You could decorate

 **Lancelot:** We bring the food

 **Lancelot:** Team Arrow brings the drinks

 **Lancelot:** And team Supergirl can… just come idk

 **sunshinegirl:** heyyy

 **sunshinegirl:** we can bring the fireworks

 **grunt:** yes fireworks

 **goodvibes:** don’t burn anything down, rory

 **grunt:** I’ve been told

 **Lancelot:** Better safe than sorry

 **goodvibes:** isn’t it funny though

 **goodvibes:** you once kidnapped me and caitlin and threatened to kill us and now we do parties together

 **grunt:** that was 4 years ago, get over it

 **QueenZee:** okay 😂

 **MiniDarhk:** I mean I also almost killed all of you so

 **Lancelot:** Nothing unusual to see here

 **gayforray:** if someone was watching us and reading this and stuff

 **gayforray:** imagine the looks on their faces

 **rayofsunshine:** We’d already be locked up.

 **QueenZee:** I bet the agents would be wondering whether this is real or we’re teenagers talking about video games

 **MamaWaverider:** I assure you this is completely secure and no FBI agents can get to it.

 **goodvibes:** you have gideon here?

 **goodvibes:** cool

 **monalisa:** how do you even know it’s gideon

 **Trenchcoat:** He’s really smart

 **gare-bear:** It’s kinda obvious

 **gayforray:** have we mentioned that these three are an item now

 **goodvibes:** NO

 **smoakandmirrors:** who’s monalisa

 **monalisa:** I work at the time bureau

 **sunshinegirl:** time bureau?

 **Lancelot:** We got a lot to explain

 **goodvibes:** no wait seriously, gary is not only with john freaking constantine but also another girl

 **goodvibes:** how

 **MiniDarhk:** you know gary?

 **gare-bear:** we talked on halloween

 **smoakandmirrors:** the floss dance, don’t you remember

 **grunt:** that was hilarious

 **smoakandmirrors:** see, even mick thinks so

 **monalisa:** if you want some love advice, vibes

 **goodvibes:** how do you know

 **goodvibes:** how does everyone know

 **notbarryallen:** just go to earth-2 and ask harry out

 **goodvibes:** exCuSe mE youNg mAN

 **smoakandmirrors:** wait harry as in wells

**notbarryallen: 👍🏾**

**gayforray:** okay how did I not know about this

 **goodvibes:** there is NOTHING between me and harry

 **goodvibes:** like he’s straight anyway

 **QueenZee:** you sure

 **smoakandmirrors:** you don’t even know him

 **Lancelot:** Our combined gaydar is the strongest in the universe

**MiniDarhk: 👏**

**notbarryallen:** before he left

 **notbarryallen:** the guy said I love you to us all but was looking at you

 **notbarryallen:** [ _image attached_ : caitlinsays.png]

 **smoakandmirrors:** oh and caitlin is always right

 **Lancelot:** This is juicy news

 **goodvibes:** I do not have a crush on harry leave me alone

 **QueenZee:** you do

 **sunshinegirl:** trust them

 **goodvibes:** seriously, I’m leaving

 **gayforray:** just think about it

 

 **goodvibes** _left_ **World’s Biggest Poly SHIP**

 

 **smoakandmirrors:** yeah that’s real

 **QueenZee:** ladies and gentlemen, this is what we do here

 **QueenZee:** make people realize their crushes

 **notbarryallen:** I was mostly joking though

 **Lancelot:** You pure boy

 **Trenchcoat:** You hit the bull’s eye


	82. the things we didn't know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really love this one & it makes me laugh a lot so i hope it makes you laugh too! enjoy!

**2018/12/26**

 

 **notbarryallen:** WHO ELSE IS SINGLE

 **trickstergoddess:** im single but dont try any of this on me mate

 **smoakandmirrors:** is it just me or did you multiply since the last time

 **rayofsunshine:** There’s just Charlie, Mona, and Rick, who’s not really a Legend.

 **notadick:** or in the states

 **sunshinegirl:** or from this earth ✋🏻

**notadick: ✋🏻**

**gayforray:** do you think Cisco really left

 **MiniDarhk:** you said it was temporary

 **gayforray:** yeah but it’s more lively with more people

 **grunt:** don’t

 **sunshinegirl:** so we haven’t even agreed on a time

 

 **gayforray** _added_ **goodvibes** _to_ **World’s Biggest Poly SHIP**

 

 **goodvibes:** what is it…

 **Lancelot:** We could meet around five?

 **sunshinegirl:** you guys party hard huh

 **rayofsunshine:** Don’t remind me.

 **sunshinegirl:** cheer up sunshine!

 **notbarryallen:** lol

 **gayforray:** I’m definitely helping him get there 😉

 **Jaxon:** do i hear party

 **Lancelot:** Nice timing

 **gayforray:** come and bring Carly

 **Jaxon:** where

 **goodvibes:** star labs

 **goodvibes:** hey jax

 **Jaxon:** been a while

 **rayofsunshine:** 5 PM on New Year’s Eve, then?

 **Lancelot:** Yup I think so

 **sunshinegirl:** great!

 **notbarryallen:** invite harry for me

**goodvibes: 🙄**

**sunshinegirl:** isn’t that the dad of your ex

 **notbarryallen:** yeah so what

 **QueenZee:** how do you know

 **sunshinegirl:** Sara texted me

 **Lancelot:** Shh

 **MiniDarhk:** I was wrong

 **QueenZee:** about

 **MiniDarhk:** I’m living for this

 **Trenchcoat:** And I’m questioning my life choices

 **smoakandmirrors:** don’t be melodramatic, john

 **gare-bear:** You love alcohol and there’s gonna be plenty of that

 **monalisa:** there’ll be a lot to drink

 **gare-bear:** Nice coincidence

 **monalisa:** there’s a reason we like each other 😉

 **Trenchcoat:** I suppose you’re right

 **gare-bear:** Of course

**monalisa: 💗**

**smoakandmirrors:** ok I see it

 **smoakandmirrors:** I gotta tell ollie like right now

 **MiniDarhk:** and you say only the legends love gossip

 **sunshinegirl:** that’s a universal thing

 **notbarryallen:** right

 **goodvibes:** barry’s telling me to tell you to check the west chat

**notbarryallen: 👍🏾**

**QueenZee:** if they want you to come here I’m adding my vote

 **gayforray:** me too

 **notbarryallen: 🙄**  you’re all horrible

 **MiniDarhk:** oh certainly

 **goodvibes:** so are you coming

 **notbarryallen:** fuck off

 **notadick:** be nicer to them

 **notadick:** but no we’re not coming, we said it before

 **notbarryallen:** you can fuck off too

 **notadick:** with you? sure 😉

 **notbarryallen:** k I’m out

 **sunshinegirl:** oh wow

 **Lancelot:** Nothing to see here

 **gayforray:** this happens on an almost daily basis

 **smoakandmirrors:** you should let my team see this maybe they’d stop being so prissy and broody

 **gayforray:** all I can see here is you saying "my team"

 **smoakandmirrors:** don’t tell my husband ;)

 **Lancelot:** Now I’m definitely gonna take a screenshot and send it to him

 **smoakandmirrors:** you wouldn’t

 **Trenchcoat:** She would

 **sunshinegirl:** you could also help Alex find a gf

 **gayforray:** wait, she broke up with Maggie?

 **sunshinegirl:** idk how about you but pride was a year and a half ago

 **QueenZee:** it’s four months for us

 **smoakandmirrors:** I heard killer frost was into her in the weird book reality

 **goodvibes:** she what

 **MiniDarhk:** how do you even know

 **sunshinegirl:** uh I was there?

 **QueenZee:** the things we didn’t know

 **gayforray:** …we needed to know

 **monalisa:** ooh yeah

 **smoakandmirrors:** I also heard batgirl was into you, kara

 **sunshinegirl:** she was definitely flirting with me but I’m with Lena so

 **Lancelot:** Today’s wild

 **goodvibes:** true true

 **goodvibes:** hey kara what about brainy and winn

 **sunshinegirl:** what about them

 **goodvibes:** I got brainy’s number after the last team-up and we’ve been talking

 **sunshinegirl:** wait

 **sunshinegirl:** is Brainy into Winn

 **sunshinegirl:** how did I not notice

 **grunt:** how does everyone know everything about everyone when you’re from different earths

 **QueenZee:** Mick, asking the right questions

 **smoakandmirrors:** well us gals grab coffee sometimes and talk about boys and girls

 **sunshinegirl:** and we text sometimes

 **rayofsunshine:** Just how large is the hero text chain?

 **goodvibes:** very

 **Trenchcoat:** Look who’s alive again

 **MamaWaverider:** Did my soup help?

 **rayofsunshine:** It was delicious, thanks, Gideon.

 **smoakandmirrors:** no but seriously, don’t tell oliver, he doesn’t know

 **MiniDarhk:** so let me recap

 **MiniDarhk:** cait is into alex, someone called brainy is into winn, cisco is into whoever harry is, no one knows about anything, and we’re definitely getting them together

 **smoakandmirrors:** also I’m pretty sure laurel’s got a crush on dinah

 **Lancelot:** Hang on

 **goodvibes:** earth-2 laurel

 **Lancelot:** You talk to her???

 **smoakandmirrors:** we’re sort of frenemies now

 **goodvibes:** but really shut up about harry now

 **smoakandmirrors:** who else is single

 **QueenZee:** Wally literally asked that ten minutes ago

**goodvibes: 😂**

**goodvibes:** ralph

 **smoakandmirrors:** iris told me he told her there might be something with sherloque but he’s not sure if he’s into guys or not

 **Lancelot:** Seriously

 **sunshinegirl:** just how many gay people are here

 **smoakandmirrors:** everyone except iris, cait and oliver?

 **Lancelot:** Oliver? No he’s not

 **smoakandmirrors:** he’s my husband I would know

 **Trenchcoat:** Ask Bruce Wayne

 **Lancelot:** We all have a history with certain billionaires

 **goodvibes:** wait, oliver, really 👀

 **Lancelot:** Don’t tell him I told you

 **goodvibes:** well it does make sense

 **goodvibes:** guy’s got history

 **smoakandmirrors:** didn’t wayne also disappear three years ago

 **sunshinegirl:** Bruce Wayne is Batman did you know

 **goodvibes:**  shocked pikachu face 😮😮😮

 **smoakandmirrors:** wait

 **sunshinegirl:** you haven’t heard that from me

 **goodvibes:** this makes so much sense omg

 **smoakandmirrors:** how are you not freaking out

 **Lancelot:** We been knew

 **goodvibes:** mind. blown.

 **smoakandmirrors:** does oliver know

 **sunshinegirl:** he was so hell bent on saying Batman isn’t real when we visited Gotham

 **gayforray:** I don’t think he knows

 **QueenZee:** anyone else feel like having popcorn with this

 **MiniDarhk:** go and make some babe

 **Trenchcoat:** Even I figured it out

 **gare-bear:** Like, you’re not stupid

 **smoakandmirrors:** are you saying oliver’s stupid

 **gare-bear:** No?

 **goodvibes:** wait till barry hears about this

 **Lancelot:** God we’re the worst

 **sunshinegirl:** but it’s so much fun

 **goodvibes:** WAIT WHAT THE HELL

 **goodvibes:** this is Barry

 **gayforray:** just read it all

 **goodvibes:** I did

 **grunt:** speedsters…

 **goodvibes:** Mick?

 **grunt:** yeah

 **goodvibes:** so just. wow. Iris has to read this

 **Lancelot:** No stop telling people

 **rayofsunshine:** I told you we should just add everyone.

 **goodvibes:** oh and btw Cisco definitely has a crush on Harry

 **goodvibes:** now he punched me

 **goodvibes:** is my brother having sex right now

 **smoakandmirrors:** hi iris

 **MiniDarhk:** this is such a mess

 **gayforray:** it’s a little bit too much

 **QueenZee:** don’t stop now

 **goodvibes:** you didn’t answer my question

 **gayforray:** what do you think

 **goodvibes:** ha I won my phone back IM GONNA VIBE THOSE TWO TO EARTH-20

 **sunshinegirl:** hahahahaha

 **QueenZee:** that feels uncomfortable

 **MiniDarhk:** oh right zee only accepts emojis as an appropriate expression of laughter

**monalisa: 😂**

**QueenZee: 👍**

**smoakandmirrors:** this is ridiculous and I LOVE IT

 **smoakandmirrors:** all the legends gals _have to_ come to jitters with us on friday

 **Lancelot:** That can be arranged

 **monalisa:** can I come too

 **MiniDarhk:** honey you have to

 **sunshinegirl:** am I missing something here

 **QueenZee:** read the title of the group again

 **goodvibes:** this is Barry again and I’m low-key worried

 **grunt:** allen had a crush on snart

 **goodvibes:** I didn’t!!

 **smoakandmirrors:** I’m whipped

 **Lancelot:** Barry? On Len?

 **grunt:** so did you

 **Lancelot:** I’m not saying I didn’t but BARRY

 **goodvibes:** yeah

 **smoakandmirrors:** wait is that a confirmation

 **goodvibes:** no!!!

 **gayforray:** do you want us to go to 2015 and ask Snart

 **goodvibes:** no don’t

 **goodvibes:** okay yeah maybe I had a crush on him but that’s in the past and it was just a tiny one and I’m married to Iris now and he’s dead and I’m giving the phone back to Cisco

 **QueenZee:** ouch

 **smoakandmirrors:** damn you type faster than me

 **goodvibes:** he’s a speedster

 **MiniDarhk:** so whose love life haven’t we discussed yet

 **goodvibes:** mood

 **rayofsunshine:** Mick’s.

 **grunt:** no

 **gayforray:** wait is there something you wanna say

 **rayofsunshine:** I’m just saying whose love life we haven’t discussed yet.

 **gayforray:** oh

 **sunshinegirl:** James and Nia are also single

 **smoakandmirrors:** and they are

 **goodvibes:** james… that’s the handsome one who helped us last time, right

 **sunshinegirl:** yep, and Nia works with me

 **sunshinegirl:** but James is straight

 **goodvibes:** hmm

 **Lancelot:** Traitor

 **smoakandmirrors:** well at least iris isn’t the only one

 **Lancelot:** There’s Dig, too

 **smoakandmirrors:** oh true

 **Trenchcoat:** Are there only 3 straight people in 40

 **sunshinegirl:** honestly that’s a little weird

 **smoakandmirrors:** depends on your definition of straight, because non-lgbt people? there are 3. but hetero people? there are more cause for example I’m demi but only into guys

 **Lancelot:** So there are 4 hetero people then

 **sunshinegirl:** Nia is trans but hetero

 **sunshinegirl:** at least I think so

 **sunshinegirl:** also J’onn

 **goodvibes:** there’s another trans person

 **goodvibes:** I wanna meet her

 **sunshinegirl:** she’s definitely coming to the party

 **QueenZee:** but if those two are both straight and work together they can be together, and it’s all matched up

 **sunshinegirl:** okay that’s… not happening though

 **Lancelot:** Why not

 **sunshinegirl:** trust me, it’s not

 **monalisa:** I’m also only into men

 **MiniDarhk:** but you’re poly so you’re also lgbt and that’s perfect

 **goodvibes:** we huddle together

 **goodvibes:** the ultimate gay superhero team-up

 **Lancelot:** The only heroes the world needs

 **gayforray:** pride is gonna be even better next year

 **sunshinegirl:** I’m already looking forward to it

 **smoakandmirrors:** this time I gotta bring oliver and I gotta ask him about bruce wayne

 **Lancelot:** Really, Felicity, don’t tell him you know it from me

 **rayofsunshine:** Knowing Oliver, he’ll figure it out anyway.

 **Lancelot:** Shit

 **Trenchcoat:** You’re dead, Sara

 **Lancelot:** I can fight him and win though ;)

 **MissTimeBureau:** There will be no fighting.

 **MiniDarhk:** and now you show up

 **smoakandmirrors:** hi ava 👋🏻

 **MissTimeBureau:** While you were busy chatting, Gideon and I made lunch.

 **grunt:** nice

 **QueenZee:** great, we already ate all the popcorn

 **goodvibes:** seriously

 **MiniDarhk:** she’s an eater

 **smoakandmirrors:** anyway how was christmas

 **Lancelot:** Uh read up

 **gayforray:** way up

 **goodvibes:** we know constantine got ray drunk so I’d say good

 **rayofsunshine:** That’s not exactly good for _me_.

 **Trenchcoat:** I won’t do it again…

 **sunshinegirl:** I could use some food right now

 **goodvibes:** if you’re anything like barry, good luck

 **sunshinegirl:** we had an eating competition once and I won

 **grunt:** damn, skirt

 **sunshinegirl:** don’t call me that, rory

 **smoakandmirrors:** you know what’s the most hilarious thing here

 **QueenZee:** what

 **smoakandmirrors:** we don’t even know each other that well and there are these nicknames but we still know everyone’s identity if you know what I mean

 **MiniDarhk:** it’s magic

 **MamaWaverider:** No, it’s the way you talk. You have certain patterns.

 **gayforray:** Gideon, you killed it

 **smoakandmirrors:** she always this sassy

 **MamaWaverider:** Of course 😉

 **Jaxon:** and she doesnt even deny it anymore


	83. [interlude] invitations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the moment they said they asked the teams and cisco sent the screenshot i knew i had to write it lol so hey, have a peek at the other teams' group chats ;) 
> 
> also, yesterday was my ao3 account's 3rd birthday... which isn't much... but i did write over 530k words in fanfiction in those 3 years and _wow_ that's like 6 novels, or 7 even, go me

**Super Secret Vigilante Network**

 

 **smoakandmirrors:** all the heroes are throwing a nyd party we’re in right

 **screamer:** I’m the police captain, I can’t just go to a party when I’m supposed to be at the precinct

 **wilddog:** hell yeah im in

 **wilddog:** @holt-the-door

 **holt-the-door:** are you seriously asking this

 **screamer:** You’re unbelievable

 **dramaqueen:** Who exactly is coming to that party

 **smoakandmirrors:** you know, just the usual suspects, team flash, the legends, team supergirl, that is if they all say yes

 **dramaqueen:** Great

 **smoakandmirrors:** I already told them we’re doing it, babe

 **dramaqueen:** Why do time travelers even celebrate the new year

 **smoakandmirrors:** you’re not the first one to ask that

 **screamer:** It’s a reasonable question

 **wilddog:** dinah come onnn you were at the last one you gotta come to this one too

 **holt-the-door:** it’ll be so much fun

 **smoakandmirrors:** we all need to relax sometimes

 **digdeep:** what’s going on here

 **smoakandmirrors:** nyd party at star labs! seriously!

 **digdeep:** you’ll make me come to this no matter what, am I right

 **smoakandmirrors:** yup

 **wilddog:** you cant avoid it foreva

 **digdeep:** okay, but Lyla will be pissed she has to stay at home with Johnny

 **dramaqueen:** Get a babysitter

 **therealboss:** Were you talking about me?

 **digdeep:** our friends are doing a party and want us to come

 **therealboss:** Yes, I read it.

 **smoakandmirrors:** so

 **therealboss:** If John’s coming, I might consider it.

 **holt-the-door:** great!

 **wilddog:** @screamer dont break the party

 **screamer:** If something happens and I won’t be there it’s on you

 **smoakandmirrors:** is that a yes

 **screamer:** …yes

 **smoakandmirrors:** yes!

 **laurel2.0:** and no one asks me

 **dramaqueen:** _Are_ you coming

 **laurel2.0:** probably not 😏

 **laurel2.0:** although, if dinah will be there

 **screamer:** Please don’t 🙄

 **smoakandmirrors:** the legends ship you did you know

 **screamer:** I need a drink

 **dramaqueen:** Yeah, me too

 

* * *

 

 **Talker**  
**SuperFam™**  
**26 Dec at 1:12 pm**

 

 **You**  
guys, our earth-1 friends, the  
 ones we went to pride with,  
wanna know if we wanna come  
to their new year’s eve party

 **winner**  
are you kidding me we haven’t  
hung out in AGES

 **L-Corp**  
I thought we were staying in and  
having a little party of our own, with  
fireworks and lots of food

 **You**  
I mean yeah but we can do all  
 that in their company, right,  
babe

it’s gonna be so much fun

 **badass lesbian  
** is sara going to be there?

 **You  
** uh yeah?

she’s their captain

stop worrying about the one-  
night stand now, Alex, it’s fine

 **badass lesbian**  
don’t talk about it in front of  
EVERYONE

 **winner  
** we know anyway  ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **Guardian  
** I could use an outlet for once

I spent the holidays either at CatCo  
or patrolling the streets

 **You  
** great!!! ☺️

 **Brainy**  
Are you talking about the Legends,  
as in the Waverider Legends?

 **winner  
** oh right you never met them

 **Brainy**  
I did not, but I know all about them.  
They really are legends.

 **You**  
well now you get a chance to  
actually meet them!

 **winner**  
and cisco promised to make a  
special cocktail that will get you  
drunk ;)

 **Brainy**  
I can get drunk on normal alcohol  
if I have enough, it only evaporates  
quickly. You’ve seen it.

 **big green man**  
I’m sorry, Kara, but I can’t go to  
Earth-1 right now.

 **badass lesbian**  
aww j’onn you gotta come with  
us!!!

 **winner  
** yeah we’re family

 **sleepyhead  
** am I invited too?

 **You  
** of course, Nia

 **big green man  
** Sorry, I really can’t.

 **Guardian**  
If I’m coming, you’re coming too  
@sleepyhead

 **winner  
** you know how that sounds right

 **badass lesbian  
** guys…

 **Brainy  
** I believe that was an innuendo.

 **Guardian  
** Not an intentional one 😅

 **You  
** great observation skills, Brainy

 **L-Corp  
** 😂

 **sleepyhead  
** 😂

 **You  
** hey Alex

you know who else will be  
there

frost

 **badass lesbian  
** KARA

why

 **You  
** 😉

 

* * *

 

 **Messenger**  
**Team Flash ⚡**  
**26 Dec at 1:16 pm**

 

 **You  
** so

the legends wanna have a party  
on new year’s eve whaddaya  
say

 **Barry  
** oh yeah!!! we should do that!!!

 **Iris**  
I was just about to ask felicity  
whether we’d do something,  
HOW

 **You**  
she’d say yes cuz she’s there  
too

 **Barry  
** where?

 **You  
** uhhhh the legends chat

 **Ralph  
** the legends have a chat

also always yes to a party ;))))

 **Barry**  
yes, Ralph, the Legends have a group  
chat, and Cisco was in it once

and apparently he’s there now too

 **You  
** are you actually jealous barry

 **Barry  
** I’m stealing your phone

 **You  
** NO DONT YOU DARE

 **SherLOQUE  
** Who are the legends?

 **Iris  
** a team of time travelers

 **Barry  
** our friends

 **You**  
or, well, frenemies, let’s not  
forget about rory

 **Barry  
** he’s nice now

 **Ralph**  
I thought you were at the halloween  
party with us @SherLOQUE

 **Caitlin  
** There’s another party? Nice

 **Killer Frost  
** im looking forward to it 😉

 **Iris**  
yeah we definitely need to get  
together more often

 **SherLOQUE  
** No, I wasn’t @Ralph

I don’t do that sort of thing

 **Ralph  
** ok you do now

 **You  
** lmao

so I told ‘em we’re in 👍🏽

 **Joe**  
We’ll be staying at home and have  
a quiet night, but you kids enjoy  
it.

And don’t drink too much.

 **You  
** ofc we won’t

 **Barry**  
I can’t even get drunk in the first  
place so

and DON’T bring that drink again,  
cisco, I don’t care it’s new year’s,  
I don’t even REMEMBER  
halloween

 **You  
** buzzkill

 **Joe**  
Why am I only hearing about this  
now???

 **Nora  
** haha

bring it for me then

 **Iris  
** definitely not, young lady

 **Nora  
** im an adult mom

 **You  
** 😂😂😂

like, no guarantees 😉

 **Nora  
** GREAT thats a yes then

 **Ralph  
** I’m never drinking that again

 **You**  
well buddy, you did that to  
yourself 😁 it’s not for  
regular humans

 **Caitlin  
** Believe him, he tried

 **You  
** so did you

 **Caitlin  
** Gotta have a test subject

 **Ralph  
** caitlin????

I wouldn’t’ve thought

 **Caitlin  
** 🤷♀️

I’m a scientist

 **SherLOQUE**  
Are we talking about special  
alcoholic drinks that can get  
speedsters drunk

I volunteer to try it

 **You  
** sherloque, NO

k gotta go now that convo is  
way too good

 

* * *

 

 

**Ollie**

**iMessage**  
**Wed, Dec 26, 7:34 PM**

 

ollie, have you slept with bruce  
wayne

sorry, let me rephrase

someone told me you did, is  
it true

I’m not judging or anything, I  
love you

I’m gonna kill Sara

yeah she thought you might say  
that…

Well, she was right

And yes, I did sleep with Bruce  
Wayne once, but that was in the  
past, you know what I used to be  
like

I believe you

and honestly I also think it’s  
really cool, cause, you know,  
he’s super famous and super  
 rich and I’m gonna stop right  
there

Honey, do you have a crush on  
Bruce Wayne

yeah, I’m totally gonna leave  
you for him coz unlike you he  
still has all the money

I knew it

well…

also, we’re going to pride  
together next year and that’s  
a fact

I’ve never been to one before

that’s a must

babe, can I ask

does that mean you’re bi or

I’ve never put a label on it

ok, that’s fine, I’m just curious

you could’ve told me

It’s not something I like to share

But yes, I should’ve, I’m sorry,  
it’s just I didn’t think it was  
relevant when we were together

💖💖💖

❤️

Delivered


	84. cisco is still sour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the party chapter is at 7k words and still not finished lol ANYWAY enjoy this one :)

**2018/12/26**

 

 **gayforray:** @smoakandmirrors @goodvibes @sunshinegirl can we keep you

 **goodvibes:** hooo boy barry will be jealous

 **smoakandmirrors:** gotta have the outside source of gossip, right

 **Lancelot:** Yeah, it’s not because we like you or anything

 **sunshinegirl:** why don’t you just add the others too

 **QueenZee:** we talked about that, it’s not happening

 **sunshinegirl:** maybe just Barry?

 **goodvibes:** and he’ll add iris, she’ll add cait, frost is gonna pop up, then the whole team flash will be here and you won’t even know

 **notbarryallen:** I wouldn’t mind, they’re the original fam 😋

 **MiniDarhk:** ofc you wouldn’t

 **Trenchcoat:** The rest of us might

 **gare-bear:** I like them

 **goodvibes:** thanks buddy

 **smoakandmirrors:** my team is too boring to want to be here so

 **rayofsunshine:** What did you call them, prissy and broody?

 **Lancelot:** Well, that is fitting

 **gayforray:** I like Curtis and Rene

 **gayforray:** also we never got to know, are they a couple or not

 **smoakandmirrors:** no

 **smoakandmirrors:** we all thought they would be, they hooked up on halloween, right, but it didn’t happen

 **rayofsunshine:** How could it _not_ happen, they are perfect for each other! And _Zoe_ likes Curtis!

 **goodvibes:** tell ‘em that

 **goodvibes:** we did

 **Lancelot:** This calls for a Legends intervention

 **sunshinegirl:** that sounds like something straight out of a romcom

 **QueenZee:** well, definitely not a straight one

 **monalisa: 😂**  you’re right

 **notbarryallen:** the world needs more lgbt romcoms amirite

 **notadick:** you like romcoms???

 **notbarryallen:** only the good ones

 **goodvibes:** we all know you watched love simon

 **MiniDarhk:** you dressed up as those two

 **notadick:** he persuaded me

 **gayforray:** ohhh

 **gayforray:** anyway, romcoms

 **gayforray:** we should do something about all the crushes

 **goodvibes:** is this what you do here all the time

 **sunshinegirl:** sounds that way

 **MiniDarhk:** how do you think everyone ended up dating someone

 **rayofsunshine:** Everyone except Mick and Charlie.

 **QueenZee:** I’m pretty sure Mick is aro though

 **QueenZee:** from what I’ve seen

 **goodvibes:** that… actually seems accurate

 **goodvibes:** damn now I actually miss snart

 **grunt:** me too

 **Lancelot:** Yeah

 **MamaWaverider:** I can reach people from any timeline or universe if they’ve been present on the Waverider before, so just tell me and I can connect with them.

 **Lancelot:** Sounds tempting but I’d rather not

 **rayofsunshine:** That way we could even talk to Rip or Martin or Kendra…

 **goodvibes:** kendra isn’t dead

 **rayofsunshine:** I didn’t say that?

 **gayforray:** you made it sound like she was

 **grunt:** hawk chick is somewhere fucking her soulmate from the future

 **smoakandmirrors:** we all think that’s a bit weird right

 **MiniDarhk:** I don’t even know her but yeah

 **sunshinegirl:** Kendra… have we met her

 **Lancelot:** I don’t think so

 **Lancelot:** She left after a year

 **rayofsunshine:** You know… only Mick, you, and me are left of the original Legends, which is a bit sad.

 **gayforray:** I never realized

 **goodvibes:** I was actually betting on mick bailing first

 **grunt:** for real

 **grunt:** but me too hah

 **gare-bear:** Kendra and Carter are actually in Coast City now, we keep tabs on them

 **smoakandmirrors:** all that aside

 **smoakandmirrors:** there are a lot of people whose username starts with a g

 **gayforray:** you’re right 😂

 **notbarryallen:** that’s mostly my fault haha

 **gayforray:** I gave Gary that nickname though

 **QueenZee:** but you kept this one 😉

 **gayforray:** I could change it to biforray if it bothers you

 **goodvibes:** prettybi

 **MiniDarhk:** that’s actually a good pun

 **smoakandmirrors:** no it’s just funny

 **Trenchcoat:** As I remember, it really bothered you

 **gayforray:** I got used to it ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **MiniDarhk:** you could say the same thing @Trenchcoat

 **Trenchcoat:** I couldn’t care less about a bloody nickname

 **Lancelot:** Ahem

 **Lancelot:** “I don’t like this name, or you lot”

 **notbarryallen:** did you actually scroll all the way up

 **Lancelot:** Or I have a good memory and judge of character

 **MissTimeBureau:** Or an extensive screenshot gallery.

 **MiniDarhk:** busted 😏

 **monalisa:** was john this mean

 **QueenZee:** yeah

 **gayforray:** he was when he first joined us

 **smoakandmirrors:** and before that too

 **gare-bear:** You knew John before?

 **smoakandmirrors:** oliver met him on lian yu years back

 **Lancelot:** He came to Star City to save my soul, remember

 **Trenchcoat:** That was 2011, I think

 **Trenchcoat:** Lian Yu

 **smoakandmirrors:** yeah thereabouts

 **monalisa:** I didn’t know you had history

 **MiniDarhk:** didn’t you claim to be his #1 stan

 **notbarryallen:** we did

 **monalisa:** sdfghjk no

 **monalisa:** I just, you know, admired his work

 **monalisa:** still do 😉

 **Trenchcoat:** I’m the best in my business, after all

 **gare-bear:** You Are

 **monalisa:** mwah

 **goodvibes:** you shouldn’t be this adorable gee

 **notbarryallen:** cisco is still sour

 **smoakandmirrors:** nothing mends a broken heart better than a new relationship

 **rayofsunshine:** Like you started dating Oliver right after you broke up with me…

 **gayforray:** hey aren’t you glad she did… cause you wouldn’t have met me ;)

 **smoakandmirrors:** yeah, precisely, it worked out well for everyone in the end

 **monalisa:** don’t talk about salty stuff 😞😞😞

 **Lancelot:** Where did Kara go

 **sunshinegirl:** nowhere

 **sunshinegirl:** I just flew to the shop to get some donuts

 **notbarryallen:** speedster approves

 **notbarryallen:** also mood

 **QueenZee:** give me donuts

 **trickstergoddess:** come to the kitchen and have em

 **QueenZee:** are you in the kitchen

 **trickstergoddess:** problem, sweetheart

 **QueenZee:** nope, nothing can get between me and donuts

 **smoakandmirrors:** who are you guys dating again

 **trickstergoddess:** no one

 **goodvibes:** sexual tension, right there

 **Lancelot:** We know ;)

 **gayforray:** and now you get it

 **notbarryallen:** charlie had a thing with mick, zari is with nora, but there is definitely something between her and charlie, and nora is secretly into ray who is with nate but I’m pretty sure nate is open-minded and ray is into her too so

 **sunshinegirl:** wow

 **smoakandmirrors:** you were right about having popcorn with this

 **smoakandmirrors:** this is wilder than rene and curtis still secretly pining for each other and laurel flirting with dinah who pretends she hates her but really doesn’t and we all know it

 **MiniDarhk:** I feel attacked

 **QueenZee:** same

 **gayforray:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **gayforray:** I did say I liked Nora

 **notbarryallen:** remember when lucifer asked nora about her desires and she said she wanted to make out with _zari_ _or_ _ray_

 **QueenZee:** just leave us alone

 **goodvibes:** this makes my day way better right off the start

 **notbarryallen:** hello cisco we’re at the end of our day and it makes it better too

 **sunshinegirl:** I’m not following

 **gayforray:** they’re in Japan

 **sunshinegirl:** oh yeah right silly me

 **MiniDarhk:** so hmm change of topic

 **MiniDarhk:** are we doing the concert or

 **Lancelot:** I think that’s up to Ray, mostly

 **rayofsunshine:** I’m already feeling better, I say we do it!

 **goodvibes:** what concert

 **gayforray:** the live aid concert in ‘85

 **smoakandmirrors:** can we go too 👀

 **QueenZee:** no we’re not letting you exploit the ship for personal use

 **goodvibes:** I hate to burst your bubble but isn’t that what you’re doing

 **Lancelot:** We take you there and next time everyone will want to go on a trip to the past

 **sunshinegirl:** pretty please

 **grunt:** no you’re outta here

 **goodvibes:** okay sorry we won’t bother you about time travel again

 **smoakandmirrors:** we’ll just ask barry

 **Lancelot:** Don’t

 **MissTimeBureau:** He’s caused enough damage as it is.

 **smoakandmirrors:** since when is sara actually the responsible one

 **MissTimeBureau:** Since she started dating me 😉

 **Lancelot:** Cheeky

 **Lancelot:** I like it 😉

 **Lancelot:** So are we ready to put the 80s swagger on and hit the concert

 **gayforray:** hell yeah

 **rayofsunshine:** Absolutely, boss!

**MiniDarhk: 👍**

**QueenZee:** if I can bring my donuts

 **gayforray:** if you make them look era appropriate

**notbarryallen: 😂**

**goodvibes:** I see we’re no longer wanted here

 **smoakandmirrors:** it’s been fun

 

 **smoakandmirrors** _left_ **World’s Biggest Poly SHIP**

 

 **goodvibes:** see you in a couple days and don’t be late

 **Lancelot:** We’re time travelers

 **notbarryallen:** and we’re speedsters, so what

 **goodvibes:** yeah barry’s always late

 **gayforray:** don’t be late, got it

**goodvibes: 👍🏽**

 

 **goodvibes** _left_ **World’s Biggest Poly SHIP**

 

 **sunshinegirl:** don’t forget to bring the food

 **sunshinegirl:** lots of it, and I mean _lots_

 **MiniDarhk:** don’t worry sunshine

 **sunshinegirl:** cool

 **sunshinegirl:** alright I’m gonna go and catch my team up on all the gossip 👌

 **Lancelot:** Bye Kara

**rayofsunshine: 👋**

 

 **sunshinegirl** _left_ **World’s Biggest Poly SHIP**

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the countless hints at the crushes and poly ships and whatnot _do_ have a point, just like, wait for it (and wait patiently)


	85. [interlude] radiance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is short and weird and... i hope you like it anyway!

Both, they had said. They hit Wembley first.

There were so many people—it was almost unbelievable. Being there, seeing it live, not just on tapes and videos and in the _Bohemian Rhapsody_ film. Not even the Legends were used to it.

The people provided cover, too. They blended in in their fabricated clothes, they got lost in the crowd, they sang the songs along with the bands and singers. No one noticed they were from the future, or past, in Charlie’s case. No one knew seeing the concert was a time travellers’ collective Christmas present.

It was huge. It was amazing.

Cisco and Felicity and the others are definitely going to be jealous of the photos and the stories they are going to tell them and show them when they get together to celebrate the end of the year. 2018. 33 years from now.

Even John had been thrilled when Status Quo played the intro to the first song.

That was what live concerts did to people. They changed them for a few hours, and charged them with buzzing positive energy.

They held hands; they jumped up and waved hands in the rhythm of the ever-changing melodies; they smiled; and they were _elated_.

(Some cried when it was Queen’s turn, but they were sad and happy tears mixed together.)

(Yes, Ray and Nate, who else.)

Ten hours of standing on their feet, and they weren’t even tired. They didn’t want to leave. They didn’t want this unique moment in history to end. They were time travellers, dammit. But alas, it did, and with cheers, the audience left the stadium, the Legends among them.

Millions of pounds have been raised for charity, for Africa. (Amaya would have loved it.) It was unforgettable.

So they boarded the Waverider and said, _tomorrow, we’ll go again._


	86. nate are you high

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> five chapters later, the story has finally moved by _one single day_ lol 
> 
> enjoy!

**2018/12/27**

 

 **gare-bear:** THAT WAS AMAZING!!!

 **gayforray:** I still have the chills

 **notbarryallen:** and I’m jealous

 **MiniDarhk:** you can use your speed to time travel

 **notbarryallen:** shuT UP

 **Trenchcoat:** Those were the best two days of my bloody life

 **Lancelot:** Even John is happy!!!

 **QueenZee:** since when do you punctuate

 **monalisa:** excuse me but!!! excited punctuation!!1!

 **notbarryallen:** it’s the 2010s lingo

 **rayofsunshine:** I want to cry.

 **MiniDarhk:** again

 **rayofsunshine:** I have emotions.

 **gayforray:** yeah that was Freddie, Nora

 **gayforray:** F r e d d i e

 **notadick:** did you at least get a video

 **monalisa:** [ _video attached_ : liveaid_1.mp4]

 **monalisa:** [ _video attached_ : liveaid_2.mp4]

 **monalisa:** [ _video attached_ : liveaid_3.mp4]

 **monalisa:** [ _video attached_ : liveaid_4.mp4]

 **monalisa:** [ _video attached_ : liveaid_5.mp4]

 **notbarryallen:** those are three hrs long

 **gare-bear:** You’re welcome?

**notadick: ❤️**

**notbarryallen:** that’s a fucking medal of honor from my bf

**notadick: 🙄**

**monalisa: 😂**

**gayforray:** did this happen on Earth-18 @notadick

 **notadick:** yeah but we don’t have the same bands

 **MiniDarhk:** yeah are you stupid

 **rayofsunshine:** Only I get to call him stupid.

 **gayforray:** excuse me, I’m the only one who can call myself stupid

 **notbarryallen:** hear that @notadick

 **notadick:** what did I DO

 **notbarryallen:** call me an idiot like every day

 **notadick:** well stop being one then

**notbarryallen: 🙄😂😘**

**notbarryallen:** I love u

 **notadick:** I love you too idiot

 **monalisa:** you’re such a sweet couple 😍😍😍

 **notbarryallen:** lmao

 **gayforray:** stepped up the game

 **notbarryallen:** I caught that from cisco

 **MiniDarhk:** lmao

 **QueenZee:** stop

 **MiniDarhk:** hahahahaha

 **QueenZee:** I’m breaking up with you

 **MiniDarhk:** pout

 **MiniDarhk:** sorry z

 **gayforray:** ummm

 **gayforray:** anyone just doesn’t know what to do with their lives anymore

 **Lancelot:** You’ve been hit with more feelings than I thought

 **Trenchcoat:** Have a drink

 **gayforray:** no thanks

 **grunt:** I’m having a drink

 **QueenZee:** surprise

 **MissTimeBureau:** @Lancelot do you want to come home and relax in bed?

 **Lancelot:** Always babe

 **MissTimeBureau:** I’m making us dinner 🍝

 **Lancelot:** Are we having spag bol

 **QueenZee:** Ava used a food emoji, are you alright

**MiniDarhk: 😅😂**

**MissTimeBureau: 😃**  @Lancelot yes, we are having spag bol.

 **gayforray:** who are you and what did you do to Ava

 **grunt:** she was replaced by another clone

 **Lancelot:** Mick, no

 **MissTimeBureau:** I’m just excited.

 **Lancelot:** <3

 **Lancelot:** All right guys, looks like I’ll be away for a bit ;)

 **rayofsunshine:** Bye!

 **gayforray:** oh, the love

 **trickstergoddess:** nate are you high

 **gayforray:** I’m high on endorphins

 **Trenchcoat:** I know what he needs @rayofsunshine

**rayofsunshine: 😊**

**notbarryallen:** ahh he got it ;)

 **gayforray:** Ray 👀

 **gayforray:** put your phone down

 **rayofsunshine:** All right 😉

 **QueenZee:** aaand John made the dads have sex

 **Lancelot:** Moms will be having sex too ;)

 **MiniDarhk:** you did it you called yourself our mom

 **notbarryallen:** yes 👉🏾👉🏾

**Lancelot: 🙄**

**QueenZee:** well I don’t know about you but I’m hungry

 **grunt:** you’re always hungry

 **QueenZee:** ditto

 **MiniDarhk:** Those Of Us Who Aren’t Fucking Anyone Right Now Are Gonna Go And Have Dinner

 **notbarryallen:** how much did that hurt

 **MiniDarhk:** Much

**monalisa: 😂**

**monalisa:** what’s for dinner

 **gare-bear:** Whatever everyone wants

 **MamaWaverider:** The perks of having a clever AI that can cook for you.

 **QueenZee:** I love how we keep adopting strays

 **monalisa:** are you talking about me 👀

 **Trenchcoat:** Clearly

 **Lancelot:** Everyone who came after us is a stray

 **MiniDarhk:** tbh…

 **notadick:** will you adopt me

 **MiniDarhk:** you’ve got wally

 **notbarryallen:** tell me you’re not running away and becoming a legend

 **notadick:** if someone’s running it’s you

 **notbarryallen:** not the point :/

 **notbarryallen:** and also not the point but I was scrolling through the emoji keyboard and there’s this yellow alien emoji that looks like a dominator I’ve never noticed before, did we do that

 **Lancelot:** A real question

 **QueenZee:** where’s Ray and Nate now

 **MiniDarhk:** you know where

**QueenZee: 😒**

**gare-bear:** You mean this one 👾

 **notbarryallen:** yup

 **Lancelot:** It's purple

 **notbarryallen:** not on my phone, it's not 

 **notadick:** do you not have a section for alien emojis

 **QueenZee:** do YOU

 **notadick:** uh yeah?

 **notadick:** there are aliens on earth-18?

 **Lancelot:** Not here, thank god

 **Lancelot:** That was just once

 **QueenZee:** twice

 **QueenZee:** remember little Ray and his Dominator buddy

 **grunt:** never again

 **QueenZee:** it was cute though

 **monalisa:** aliens are real 👀

 **monalisa:** I knew it

 **Lancelot:** You do not wanna meet one

 **QueenZee:** except Kara

 **monalisa:** kara as in sunshinegirl

 **monalisa:** she’s an ALIEN

 **Lancelot:** Also Brainy, J’onn, Nia, Mon-El, Superman…

 **MiniDarhk:** that explains a lot

 **MiniDarhk:** @gayforray @rayofsunshine

 **gayforray:** WHAT

 **MiniDarhk:** we’re having a conversation about aliens and you’re not here, it’s weird

 **trickstergoddess:** you interrupted them when shagging, good one nora

 **notbarryallen:** cockblocker 😅

 **gayforray:** we weren’t shagging YET

 **gayforray:** and now I’m using British vocabulary and it’s your fault, Charlie

 **rayofsunshine:** You’re talking about aliens?

 **Lancelot:** Not anymore

 **rayofsunshine:** I miss Gumball…

 **monalisa:** you had a pet alien and named him gumball what an icon

 **gayforray:** he committed crimes for him

 **grunt:** I’m proud of 8-year-old haircut

 **MiniDarhk:** he what

 **grunt:** he stole candy

 **MiniDarhk:** ray???

 **trickstergoddess:** and you told me youve never done crime in your life

 **rayofsunshine:** I did stole that royal corgi later.

 **Lancelot:** We all have a past 🤷

 **QueenZee:** I also used my totem to make our bike fly like in E.T. that day

 **gare-bear:** What a mood

 **rayofsunshine:** Now I want to watch E.T.

 **MiniDarhk:** oops 😅

 **Trenchcoat:** You can do it and watch a film

 **gayforray:** no, no with Ray you can’t

 **rayofsunshine:** With Nate either.

 **gayforray:** so what, movies distract me… us…

 **Lancelot:** I think it’s safe to say we’ve ruined the mood anyway

 **trickstergoddess:** did you do that on purpose @MiniDarhk you cheeky minx

 **MiniDarhk:** haha no idk what you’re talking about

 **MiniDarhk:** come have dinner with us steelatom

 **notbarryallen:** steelatom… it’s back…

**gayforray: 🙄**

**gayforray:** okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (the alien monster is yellow and dominator-looking only on older samsung phones like my galaxy s6) (and wally's got an s7 in this fic)


	87. beer forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (look at the word count... iconic)
> 
> enjoy <3

**2018/12/29**

 

 **gayforray:** who played Lana Del Rey she makes me melancholic

 **MiniDarhk:** excuse me how does this make you melancholic

 **MiniDarhk:** my pussy tastes like pepsi cola

 **MiniDarhk:** my eyes are wide like cherry pies

 **notbarryallen:** _I got sweet taste for men who’re older, it’s always been so it’s no surprise_

 **QueenZee:**???!?!!?

 **Lancelot:** It’s a song 🙄

 **notbarryallen:** an ICONIC song

 **gayforray:** Nora was it you

 **MiniDarhk:** fuck yes

 **notbarryallen:** she’s a queen

 **notadick:** and now he played the song

 **notbarryallen:** who doesn’t like lana

 **gayforray:** her songs are _sad_

 **notadick:** I’m not complaining, I'm just stating a fact

 **notbarryallen:** on another note

 **notbarryallen:** where have you been for two days

 **Lancelot:** First we went out with the other girls

 **QueenZee:** which was Great™

 **Lancelot:** And then we had a mission

 **gayforray:** people were disappearing on the orient express like can you believe

 **rayofsunshine:** It was a true Poirot mystery with a magical twist.

 **Trenchcoat:** I had to wear bloody period clothes

 **gare-bear:** It comes with the job

 **Trenchcoat:** And I couldn’t even have a shag on the train cos you weren’t there

 **notbarryallen:** yikes

 **monalisa:** we were sad you weren’t here 😔

 **trickstergoddess:** at least you were together and didnt have to guard the fucking ship

 **MiniDarhk:** @monalisa @gare-bear did you have fun together 👀

 **gayforray:** you bet when it was their first night without John

**monalisa: 😏😏😏**

**Trenchcoat:** Did you have a good time loves

 **gare-bear:** Oh yes 😉

 **grunt:** this is weird

 **Lancelot:** OH and Mick set the curtains on fire

 **gayforray:** nice save

 **grunt:** that was an accident…

 **MiniDarhk:** sure……

 **notbarryallen:** is zari still scandalized by the song

 **rayofsunshine:** Why?

 **notbarryallen:** she hasn’t said anything for three minutes

 **QueenZee:** some people don’t bring their phone to the toilet

 **QueenZee:** but that’s not me, I’m on the toilet

 **gayforray:** tmi

 **QueenZee:** oh please like that’s tmi

 **Lancelot:** True

 **notbarryallen:** change of topic you need to see this

 **notbarryallen:** [ _image attached_ : ciscosays.png]

 **Lancelot:** Bedman???

 **rayofsunshine:** Like Batman, I love it.

 **notbarryallen:** their newest meta

 **QueenZee:** Cisco couldn’t resist the pun could he

 **MiniDarhk:** and what exactly does he do

 **notbarryallen:** put people to sleep, idk

 **monalisa:** transforms people into beds?

 **notbarryallen:** nope, manipulates dreams while people are sleeping in their beds

 **Lancelot:** Boring

 **notbarryallen:** say that to iris

 **gayforray:** boring metas are the best, Sara

 **grunt:** central isn’t what it used to be anymore

 **notbarryallen:** “are you COMPLAINING? when you’re not here? we love the quiet and lack of metas that want to kill us all except for cicada but we’re dealing with him so shut up heatwave” - cisco ramon

 **QueenZee:** why did we let that guy leave this chat

 **gayforray:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **gayforray:** also seriously stop playing Lana Del Rey across the ship

 **MiniDarhk: 🙄**  fine I’ll take headphones

 **monalisa:** can I join you in there

 **MiniDarhk:** sure 😊💜

 **QueenZee:** how long exactly is Mona staying here

 **monalisa:** forever hehe

 **Trenchcoat:** Jealous, Z

 **QueenZee:** nope just asking

 **gare-bear:** Yeah she’s ours anyway

**monalisa: 💛**

**gare-bear: ❤️**

**trickstergoddess:** but shes stealing nora from you

 **trickstergoddess:** want me to steal you from her @QueenZee 😏

 **MiniDarhk:** no one is stealing me from anyone and also STOP

 **QueenZee:** efghsldfmgf

 **notbarryallen:** zari doing a keyboard smash, unbelievable

 **rayofsunshine:** I’m only teaching her to cook @trickstergoddess

 **notbarryallen:** defense hmm

 **monalisa:** yeet

 **MissTimeBureau:** There’s not even a point in telling you you’re acting like children anymore.

 **gayforray:** you just did

 **gayforray:** but you’re right

 **gare-bear:** How are you, Ava

 **MissTimeBureau:** Busy, because of you Legends.

 **notbarryallen:** my my what are you not telling us

 **Lancelot:** …

 **Lancelot:** I don’t want to talk about it

 **QueenZee:** okay I’m DMing you @notbarryallen

 **Lancelot:** NO

**gayforray: 🤦♂️**

**notbarryallen:** OH MY

 **notadick:** you’re incredible

 **Lancelot:** Of course the boyfriend knows

 **notadick:** hey

 **gayforray:** Zari, why

**QueenZee: 😄**

**MiniDarhk:** anyway

 **MiniDarhk:** anyone wants to join us in the den of melancholy

 **notbarryallen:** we’re there with you mentally

 **monalisa:** [ _image attached_ : wegotcandles.jpeg]

 **gayforray:** Nora and Mona, the ultimate brotp

**MiniDarhk: 👍**

**monalisa: 👍**

**MissTimeBureau:** Ahh, I wish I could join you.

 **MiniDarhk:** then do

 **monalisa:** you can bring your work here

 **MissTimeBureau:** That’s a good idea, I’m doing it.

 **Trenchcoat:** I’ve been betrayed

 **gare-bear:** Lol John come to my apartment

 **Trenchcoat:** Alright love :’)))

 **notbarryallen:** I’m cringing

 **notbarryallen:** We Do Not Use Lame Text Emojis John

 **Lancelot:** Leave him alone, he’s sad and just wants to be with his boyfriend

 **Trenchcoat:** Ta

 **MiniDarhk:** [ _image attached_ : squadgoals.jpeg]

**Lancelot: 😍**

**notbarryallen: 👍🏾**

**notbarryallen:** [ _image attached_ : relationshipgoals.jpeg]

 **monalisa:** aww

 **gayforray:** you’re cute

 **notadick:** I know right

 **MissTimeBureau:** @Lancelot babe why don’t you join us too? We have wine 😉

 **QueenZee:** and non-alcoholic cider

 **Lancelot:** I’m working out

 **Trenchcoat:** You call texting working out

 **Lancelot:** Fuck off

**Trenchcoat: 👍**

**Lancelot:** Give me 20 minutes, Aves

 **trickstergoddess:** if youre drinking im yours

 **monalisa:** so it’s a girl’s night now!!! again!!! yay!!!

 **gayforray:** seems it’s just you and me @grunt

 **grunt:** what about haircut

 **rayofsunshine:** My suit was damaged in a fight and I’m making repairs in the lab.

 **grunt:** right

 **grunt:** wanna grab a beer

 **gayforray:** wow that’s a first

 **gayforray:** okay then

 **monalisa:** everyone’s bonding 👀

 **Lancelot:** We do live here together

 **Trenchcoat:** It’s a little too full in my opinion

 **rayofsunshine:** 11 people isn’t that many.

 **gayforray:** It’s the most we’ve ever had though

 **monalisa:** you’re counting me too? asdfghjkl

 **MamaWaverider:** Technically, only seven of you really live here and the other four are visiting, but you spend so much time on the ship you’ve practically gone native.

 **gare-bear:** Yeah that’s definitely us @monalisa

 **Lancelot:** Are you talking about Ava and me, Gideon

 **MamaWaverider:** Yes, captain, you do live in Washington DC with Miss Sharpe, even though it doesn’t often seem that way.

**MissTimeBureau: 😂**

**Lancelot:** But I lived here for three years so

 **Trenchcoat:** Someone’s had too much wine @MissTimeBureau

 **MissTimeBureau:** It’s been a tough day, don’t judge me.

 **monalisa:** wine makes the perfect companion

 **Trenchcoat:** I prefer spirits myself…

 **monalisa:** and then we all get too drunk

 **monalisa: 🍷**  forever, johnny

 **QueenZee:** orange juice forever, yay

 **grunt: 🍺**  FOREVER


	88. okay, i have an idea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so it's almost new year here! finally! so enjoy one last pre-party chapter, and then it's time to get w i l d

****2018/12/31** **

 

 ** **notbarryallen:**** HAPPY NEW YEAR 2019!!! 🎆🎇🍾🥂🎈🎉

 ** **gayforray:**** it’s 10 am

 ** **notbarryallen:**** NOT HERE

 ** **notbarryallen:**** WE HAVE 2019

 ** **QueenZee:**** why are you typing in capslock

 ** **Lancelot:**** Happy new year, @notbarryallen @notadick

 ** **notbarryallen:**** I’M A LIIIITLE BIT DRUNK

 ** **gayforray:**** how much did you have

 ** **notadick:**** you don’t watn to knoe

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** ah you too

 ** **notbarryallen:**** there I fixed it lol

 ** **notbarryallen:**** give me another new year’s kiss babeee

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** I figure they won’t be here for a while.

 ** **Lancelot:**** Yeah ;)

 ** **gayforray:**** …I’m an idiot

 ** **QueenZee:**** go and have your morning coffee

 ** **gayforray:**** you’re right 👍

 ** **Lancelot:**** Ladies and gentlemen, pre-coffee Nate

 ** **gayforray:**** we stayed up late

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** making love 👀

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** Watching E.T.

 ** **QueenZee:**** wasn’t that four days ago

 ** **gayforray:**** we never got around actually watching it

 ** **Trenchcoat:**** I see 😉

 ** **MissTimeBureau:**** It was better when you weren’t using emojis.

****monalisa: 😂** **

****Lancelot:**** So, party starts in five hours

 ** **Lancelot:**** We gotta make the food

 ** **gayforray:**** we got time

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** Not if we’re cooking!

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** not today ray

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** Well, I’m cooking.

 ** **Lancelot:**** Someone ask the others if they have requests or something

 ** **Lancelot:**** You know, diets, allergies…

 ** **gayforray:**** the should’ve stayed in the chat

 ** **QueenZee:**** you said it was temporary

 ** **gayforray:**** don’t take me literally

 ** **Lancelot:**** Okay, I have an idea

 

 ****Lancelot** ** _created a closed group in_ ****World’s Biggest Poly SHIP** **

****Lancelot** ** _named the group_ ****Hero Council** **

****Lancelot** ** _added_ ****sunshinegirl**** _ _,_ _ ****fastestmanalive**** _ _,_ and _ ****dramaqueen** ** _to_ ****Hero Council** **

 

 ** **Lancelot:**** Guys give me food requests for the party

 ** **sunshinegirl:**** hello again Sara!!!

 ** **sunshinegirl:**** Lena is vegetarian but I think Nora is too, right

 ** **Lancelot:**** Yeah, that’s covered, and so is Kosher and Halal diet and healthy stuff, you know Ray

 ** **Lancelot:**** I mean like, anyone got an allergy

 ** **Lancelot:**** And what do you actually __want__ us to bring

 ** **dramaqueen:**** Hi, Sara, is this about today’s party?

 ** **fastestmanalive:**** duh

 ** **fastestmanalive:**** you know kara and I eat a LOT right @Lancelot

 ** **sunshinegirl:**** junk food, we need junk food

 ** **sunshinegirl:**** DONUTS

 ** **Lancelot:**** Zari’s on that 👍

 ** **dramaqueen:**** Felicity’s allergic to nuts

 ** **fastestmanalive:**** so is ralph

 ** **fastestmanalive:**** cisco says bring fajitas and quesadillas and… you get the idea

 ** **Lancelot:**** No nuts, Mexican food, what’s next

 ** **sunshinegirl:**** chips and salty sticks

 ** **sunshinegirl:**** pizza

 ** **fastestmanalive:**** big belly if you can get that

 ** **dramaqueen:**** Oh yes

 ** **dramaqueen:**** Maybe some finger foods like they have on galas, you know the stuff

 ** **Lancelot:**** Great

 ** **fastestmanalive:**** you can’t stop being a rich snob 😁

 ** **dramaqueen:**** Hey

 ** **dramaqueen:**** Not everyone grew up on chain restaurant fries

 ** **fastestmanalive:**** I mean… no judging

 ** **sunshinegirl:**** definitely judging

****dramaqueen: 🙄** **

****sunshinegirl:**** but oliver isn’t the only rich snob here, so

 ** **Lancelot:**** Are you talking about me

 ** **sunshinegirl:**** my beautiful girlfriend

 ** **Lancelot:**** Good

 ** **sunshinegirl:**** don’t tell her that though…

 ** **sunshinegirl:**** can you also bring some pies and maybe ice cream

 ** **sunshinegirl:**** I have midnight cravings

 ** **fastestmanalive:**** we’re gonna be midnight snacking together 👌

 ** **sunshinegirl:**** yesss barry

 ** **fastestmanalive:**** with my daughter too I guess

 ** **sunshinegirl:**** wait WHAT

 ** **dramaqueen:**** Oh, you don’t know

 ** **dramaqueen:**** Barry here got himself a fully grown daughter from the future

 ** **Lancelot:**** I guess I forgot to mention her…

 ** **fastestmanalive:**** we talk all the time how do you not know???

 ** **fastestmanalive:**** I’m sort of confused now

 ** **sunshinegirl:**** is her name nora, cause if it is, then I know who she is, but no one told me she was YOUR DAUGHTER

 ** **fastestmanalive:**** OH

 ** **Lancelot:**** It’s gonna be okay, Barry

 ** **dramaqueen:**** It’s just a misunderstanding

 ** **Lancelot:**** And you would know plenty about those

 ** **dramaqueen:**** Excuse me

 ** **Lancelot:**** Oh nothing

 ** **Lancelot:**** So is that all with the food

****fastestmanalive: 👍** **

****dramaqueen:**** Yeah

 ** **sunshinegirl:**** if I think of something else I’ll let you know

 ** **Lancelot:**** Okayyy see you guys later 🥂

 ** **Lancelot:**** Oh and btw if you have something you gotta talk to us about, just go here, like, you know, annual team-ups or wedding invitations or whatever… I’ll keep it open

****sunshinegirl: 😊😊😊😅😅😅** **

****Lancelot:**** Yes I meant you and Lena, those two are already married

 ** **dramaqueen:**** Same goes for you, Sara ;)

 ** **Lancelot: 🙄****  bye

 

 ** **QueenZee:**** what did you do

 ** **QueenZee:**** what did she do

 ** **gayforray:**** I think she’s talking to someone from the other teams

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** Must have created a group.

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** why not just add them here like before

 ** **gayforray:**** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 ** **MissTimeBureau:**** Because it would spiral out of control again, knowing us all.

 ** **gayforray:**** US

****gayforray: 🖐️** **

****MissTimeBureau:**** All right 🖐️

 ** **Lancelot:**** I come back and see Nate and Ava high-fiving what’s going on

 ** **QueenZee:**** you tell us

 ** **Lancelot:**** I created a team leaders group and talked to Kara, Barry and Oliver

 ** **Lancelot:**** Should’ve done that ages ago tbh

 ** **gayforray:**** that’s actually reasonable

 ** **grunt:**** you’re all idiots

 ** **Trenchcoat:**** So are you

 ** **grunt:**** hhhhhhh

 ** **QueenZee:**** Mick’s text expression of a grunt is 👌

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** accurate

 ** **gayforray:**** I can feel him glowering even though he’s not actually here, do you get what I mean

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** Yes.

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** So, what food do they actually want?

 ** **Lancelot:**** Right

 ** **Lancelot:**** Mexican food, donuts, chips, salty sticks, pie, Big Belly, pizza, uhhh… ice cream and some fancy finger foods for a fancy rich snob

 ** **gayforray:**** sounds like Oliver 😂

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** Definitely 😂

 ** **Lancelot:**** And don’t put nuts in anything

 ** **QueenZee:**** what sort of Mexican food

 ** **Lancelot:**** Quesadillas, fajitas, some burritos, idk, Barry wasn’t really specific

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** do we fabricate big belly or actually go there on the way

 ** **gayforray:**** are you kidding me

 ** **gayforray:**** Gideon is good but you can’t replicate the salt and greasiness of big belly burger

 ** **MamaWaverider:**** I have to agree on this one.

 ** **gayforray:**** see

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** jeez okay

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** So is that all?

 ** **Lancelot:**** Yup

 ** **QueenZee:**** but we have time right so what are we gonna do in the meantime

 ** **notbarryallen:**** what do the legends do when they’re not busy

 ** **gayforray:**** you recovered quickly

 ** **notbarryallen:**** still can’t get drunk on regular alcohol for long

 ** **notadick:**** lucly bastrad

 ** **monalisa:**** good luck ❤️

 ** **notadick:**** thx monalisa,,,

 ** **notadick:**** …

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** @notbarryallen we watch tv shows

****notbarryallen: 😉** **

****rayofsunshine:**** I agree!

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** What do you want to watch?

 ** **Lancelot:**** Just choose something, otherwise we’re gonna spend an hour arguing about it

 ** **QueenZee:**** Sara’s right

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** Okay! We haven’t started Timeless yet, so I vote for that.

 ** **gayforray:**** yes baby

 ** **gare-bear:**** I’ve seen that one

 ** **monalisa:**** shut up, gary, we’re watching timeless

 ** **gare-bear:**** I didn’t say I didn’t wanna watch it, it’s GREAT

 ** **MiniDarhk:**** good, let’s go 👏

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do you have any idea how long i had to wait till i could tell you guys that IT'S OFFICIAL, THIS IS NOW A SERIES!!! i'll post the first chapter of the "hero council" chat on friday, as it follows the events of the thursday chapter. so stay tuned!!! and don't forget to subscribe to the series to get all the updates ;)


	89. [interlude] in which they all get wasted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i never thought i could write another chapter as long as the pride one, but here we are: this one, with its 10,049 words, is even LONGER. i'm too lazy to read it over again so i'm just putting it here after a single proof four days ago... if you find any mistakes, neither i nor grammarly noticed them and i'm sorry lol
> 
> now, this is the chapter that changes everything. well, some things. anyway, i hope you enjoy it at much as i enjoyed writing it!!!

‘We’re here, and we’ve got _all_ the food,’ Sara said, lifting the Big Belly Burger bags in her arms, and it was enough to make twenty faces light up—until Cisco so pointedly reminded them that they, as time travellers, were _late._

Twenty minutes. Nothing ever happened when someone was twenty minutes late to a party, stop making a fuss.

She and her team walked over to the empty tables that were just waiting to be filled the delicacies they’ve brought. It didn’t even take five minutes to get them ready. It took exactly five minutes for Mick to steal a slice of pie and Kara to follow suit, because she’s got a different metabolism and can’t help it. Barry was next.

Oliver cleared his throat. ‘So, let’s get this party started, shall we?’

Cisco gave him the thumbs-up and pressed a button on one of the screens. Immediately, STAR Labs were filled with upbeat music of Caitlin and Ralph’s choosing—he knows _all_ the good party music, thank you very much, and, well, she _did_ work in a club once.

Then everyone went to pour themselves a drink or grab a burger, officially, surrounding the tables like vultures. 

 

Thus began the last six hours and thirty-five minutes of 2018 for the heroes and vigilantes of Star and Central and National City and basically all of time and space—and were they going to be _unforgettable_ (well, maybe not if you get too drunk to remember, but that’s just a minor detail).

 

‘So, this is James, Brainy, and Nia. You already know Winn and my sister and, of course, Lena,’ Kara said, a slight blush creeping up her face when Lena smiled at her. This was the first time all of her friends were on Earth-1 together, and even if they _have_ met James and Brainy, they were never properly introduced in the rush of saving the world from a reality-changing maniac.

Hands were shaken, and it was chaos, because there was _so many_ of them.

‘Let’s maybe get another drink,’ she offered to Lena then. It was near impossible to have a private chat around here. Those people were her friends, though, and she was glad to be spending New Year’s Eve with them.

Lena nodded, ‘Yes, definitely.’

Suddenly, Barry was by Kara’s side, saying, ‘Great, we’ll join you!’, and Iris appeared next to him out of nowhere, and _what did she say, again_? But Kara just nodded. At least they could inefficiently pour alcohol into themselves together.

 

To John, Gary, and Mona, the alcohol was efficient enough. John definitely needed it if he was going to survive being stuck in one building with so many heroes for seven—no, six hours and twenty-seven minutes, he looked at his mobile—and when he was drinking, they were drinking too, but only a cocktail, because, believe it or not, he was trying to be a good boyfriend and not let them get plastered before at least five hours passed.

Mona was still in awe of being inside STAR Labs. Two months ago, she was a delivery girl, and look at her now. She works for the Time Bureau, and she’s partying with the Flash and the Green Arrow and her _two boyfriends_.

‘This is so incredible, am I right?’ she asked Gary, smiling wide. She sipped at her Cosmo.

Gary nodded vigorously, ‘I was here two months ago, but yeah, it’s definitely incredible. Being here.’ He had a swimming pool, because he really liked it when he’d ordered it at Lux that one time. Never mind what John says about blue drinks.

John rolled his eyes at both of them. ‘I would rather be anywhere but here, you know me,’ he said, nursing his second whisky. At least that was good—Oliver Queen was a man of taste, after all. ‘But as long as you enjoy it…’

‘Are you kidding me?!’

 

 **animalgirl:** Happy new year 1943/2019!!!

 **QueenZee:** HAPPY NEW YEAR AMAYA!!!

 **Lancelot:** Happy new year 1943 to you 🎆🍾🥂

 **gayforray:** hey Amaya

 **gayforray:** hope you have a good one

 **rayofsunshine:** Happy new year, Amaya ❤️

 **grunt:** hey amaya, get properly drunk for us

 **animalgirl:** I just might ;)

 **Trenchcoat:** Have fun, eh, Amaya?

 **animalgirl:** Thank you, guys. I’m sorry I haven’t been talking to you lately.

 **trickstergoddess:** hey twin

 **MiniDarhk:** no it’s alright and also have a great year 1943

 **notbarryallen:** hey girl

 **notbarryallen:** it’s new year’s in zambesi too now huh

 **notbarryallen:** I wish you all the best (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

 **monalisa:** wait what??? 1943???

 **QueenZee:** she’s our former teammate from the past

 **animalgirl:** Yeah, I came on the Waverider in 1942 and spent two years there before I had to go back.

 **trickstergoddess:** and she was dating nate and I also look like her

 **animalgirl:** And what about you, are you having fun?

 **gayforray:** yes we are!

 **Lancelot:** [ _image attached_ : partyyyyy.jpeg]

 **animalgirl:** Give everyone best wishes from me!

Nate lifted his mobile up in the air. ‘Hey everyone, Amaya says hi and wishes us happy 2019!’ he yelled on top of his lungs to make himself heard over the ABBA song that was playing and all the chatter coming from all over the room. He’s been standing by the wall with Ray, Curtis, Cisco, and Felicity and debating the _Jurassic Park_ and _Jurassic World_ film series himself when he saw the texts.

‘Tell her we say hi too and we miss her,’ Felicity quipped, and then came shouts from ten people saying different versions of the same sentence.

He typed a reply: **everyone says hi and that they miss you**. A momentary pause, and he said, **I miss you too**. Because he did. She wasn’t his girlfriend anymore and he wasn’t so in love with her anymore, and he had his Ray, but he had loved talking to Amaya and having her on board. She was his _friend_.

He and fifteen other people saw her **< 3 **and smiled.

 

They devoured the Big Belly within the first hour, so Barry grabbed Cisco and ran them over to the restaurant to get more burgers and chicken wings and fries. They managed to get back before the Legends noticed anything and called them ungrateful bastards. Not that they’d do that, but Mick Rory just might, so, you know. Take every advantage of a guy with superspeed.

When Kara spotted the fresh, hot pile of junk food, she hit Barry in the arm not-so-gently and called, ‘I have an idea! Let’s have an eating contest!’

Barry said, ‘Yes! I was getting hungry anyway after running there and back.’

‘You can’t be serious,’ Caitlin told them. ‘We all know one of you two is going to win anyway.’

But of course, Mick and Zari already caught the waft of delicious greasiness and snuck their way to the table, and funnily enough, it wasn’t Mick who complained—it was Zari. But she dismissed them with an eye-roll and asked, ‘Eating contest, huh? I’m in.’

Charlie appeared by her side and said, ‘Yeah, count me in; I’ve never stepped down from a challenge before.’ A confident smile played at her lips. The others had no idea what she could do.

‘Okay then!’ Barry decided. ‘Let’s do this. I’ll tell everyone.’

He did, and was met with thrill.

‘But there gotta be rules,’ Cisco, pointing his finger round and shooting warning glances, said. ‘One, normal speed only and no other superpowers, so it’s fair play.’ He raised the finger as he counted the rules out, and Barry bet he’d write it on the whiteboard if there were available markers around. ‘Two, you can only eat Big Belly. Three, we’re doing five minutes because we still need some food for the next five hours. Four, Felicity and Caitlin are gonna do jury and write it all down. Is that clear?’

There were nods and _yeah_ s and _uh-huh_ s. Barry and Nora brought chairs for all the contestants in a matter of seconds, and soon enough, Barry, Kara, Nora West-Allen, Cisco, Zari, Mick, Charlie, Rene, Ralph, Nate, Winn, Mona, and Alex occupied the table. The others brought drinks to flush down the food and pulled out their phones to capture the finest moments and, no doubt, post them on Instagram stories and send them to their absent friends.

At half past six on the dot, Caitlin started the clock.

At 6:32, a breach opened in the doorway between the corridors and the cortex, and everyone froze for a second, including the late guests. Harry and Jesse stepped out of the breach, unsure what to expect and perhaps a little flustered about coming in late. They stared at the crowd, the Christmas tree and lights and tinsel, the _happy new year 2019_ banner hanging from the ceiling, the eaters who were slowly running out of food to eat.

‘You came!’ Barry shouted with a mouth full of French fries, grinning as one only can when he’s trying to keep them there. ‘That’s great!’

No one else knew he’s invited them in the first place.

Jesse blushed. ‘Sorry we’re late…’

Cisco was the only one to stop eating—if only for ten seconds, because then Iris told him, ‘Hey, stop staring at your secret crush and get through that burger if you want to win.’ He missed the crush jab completely and came back to wolfing his cheeseburger.

There was a gush of wind and Harry was the only one awkwardly standing in front of the closing breach, and then he wasn’t, because with another gush, Jesse was back with more burgers.

‘Did you just—did you steal that?’ Harry frowned at the paper bags.

‘I left them enough money _and_ a generous tip, don’t worry, Dad,’ she answered and jogged to refill the quickly emptying plates. ‘Other customers can wait. This clearly is an emergency.’ Zari snatched two chicken legs right out of her hand.

Jesse didn’t ask about Wally. She thought he wouldn’t be there—and frankly, she hoped he wouldn’t. Things might be awkward if he would, even if he had a boyfriend whom she found out about thanks to Cisco and Caitlin in texts, which, okay, surprised her a little bit, but was totally okay if you ask her. She was glad he was happy. What she did was stand next to Iris and film the rest of the competition.

Harry walked over to the group of spectators as well. It’s been seven months since he last stood here, in STAR Labs—in _Earth-1’s_ version of STAR Labs, anyway. He had no contact with his old team—friends—but for an occasional text from Cisco or Caitlin. And, somehow, after a few months, he started _missing_ the people who used to irritate him on daily basis. (Mostly Cisco and their arguing and object-throwing and film nights.) (Don’t tell him.)

He gave them an awkward wave and didn’t understand why some people he didn’t even know started snickering and going back and forth between him and Cisco—who was currently stuffing fries into his mouth like his life depended on it. They waved back. ‘So, um, hello again.’

‘Shut up, we’ve got twenty seconds left,’ Felicity shooed him away, furiously writing down the tallies for eaten chicken and burgers and packs of fries.

Twenty seconds passed, the marks were speed-counted by Jesse, and sighs carried across the room as people began to feel their full bellies.

Neither Barry nor Kara won the competition. It was Ralph Dibny.

 

The next hour went by more calmly—for most people, anyway. There was music, more chatter, and bad attempts at dancing, and the only accident comprised of Oliver trying to teach Gary how to throw darts properly and failing. The dart sunk into Barry’s finger, but he healed supernaturally fast, so no worries.

(Iris worried a bit.)

After that, Gary was no longer allowed to play darts. He didn’t mind; he appreciated wheedling Mona, Winn, Cisco, and Curtis into a game of Dungeons and Dragons more. As the DM, he always came prepared, and no one was surprised when he pulled the board and all from his messenger bag, really.

All that gave more people—yes, the Legends—ideas about games, so Ray borrowed Ava’s time courier and created a portal on the Waverider to bring their collection of board games. Why haven’t they thought of that before, goddammit?

There was Monopoly, Scrabble, Sorry!, chess and other traditional games (no one wanted to play those), Settlers of Catan, Risk, and even fucking Guess Who?. They disappeared in people’s greedy hands in a matter of two minutes.

There was more and more alcohol involved, which brought both outbursts of laughter and absolute fury to the games—some people just couldn’t wrap their heads about being defeated in a _board game_ when they were rarely ever defeated in the field.

Nora Darhk was, as always, having the time of her life playing and winning a round of Monopoly. Having played against opponents who weren’t used to the Legends’ game nights, she was accused of using magic to cheat, but she just shrugged them off and later, when that didn’t help, flipped them off.

 

Okay, that was still okay and under control by then. But round 9 the speedsters and Supergirl, hooked on some sort of insanely strong alien gin Kara smuggled in with the boxes of fireworks, decided that racing to Florida and back without their suits was a good idea.

It was _not_. Iris and Lena tried to tell them so, but when a drunk hero sets their mind on something, they’re not letting go, sorry, besides, it’s gonna be so much _FUN_. Capitalised.

They were gone before you could say Raxacoricofallapatorius (Cisco said) and no one could do anything about it.

‘Dammit!’ Cisco swore when he failed to create a breach to bring them back. ‘Fuck this! Where’s the extrapolator? Anyone?’

Caitlin shrugged helplessly and Constantine, who hovered around with a bottle of beer while his boyfriend and girlfriend were _still_ playing D &D without him, said, ‘Can’t help ya, mate.’

Before Ava could reach him with the time courier, the four of them were back, and they were on _fire_.

They all laughed about it as they took their top layers, all in various states of burning and smouldering, off. Barry pouted because Wally wasn’t there. ‘He would’ve loved it,’ he said, exhilarated from the run and the drink, which Cisco definitely had to take a sample of because it affected _speedsters_.

No one knew who had actually won the race.

 

Twenty minutes later, Winn, needing the toilet, caught Kara and Lena making out in the hallway, and were they being handsy. Kara was already half-naked from the run, but Lena has definitely lost her jumper somewhere along the process. He tried not to stare at them, or think about it at all.

He turned the corner and ran into Oliver with an embarrassed _oof_.

Oliver saw the two women too, and thought it was strange, because on Earth-1, Lena Luthor was, to put it mildly, a person he wouldn’t want to run into. Which he did, back when he was still the billionaire who had inherited Queen Consolidated. Everyone here knew she was in cahoots with Lex.

‘She’s different, our Lena. Very much different,’ he assured him with a pat on his shoulder and ran the rest of the way to the bathroom, because damn, he’s had _a_ _lot_ of those beers and cokes.

Oliver trusted him, and Kara, because Kara the Sunshine wouldn’t date just anyone. He returned to the cortex—only to find Barry’s daughter making out with the trickster who was with the Legends—Charlie, was it?

He sighed. He needed to find Felicity. And maybe Barry, but then again, Oliver guessed that he wouldn’t exactly give a fuck in his current condition, so Iris was the safer choice.

(Why did _he_ give a fuck, again?)

 

Barry felt ten bumps on his arm, and he turned to find Iris slapping him with one hand and subtly pointing in the general direction of the Christmas tree with the other.

‘Barry, that’s our _daughter_!’ she whispered emphatically and cocked her head in her way. ‘Our daughter, making out with—what’s her name?— _her_.’

‘That’s Charlie,’ he said, not really concerned about the whole situation, but Iris’ tone suggested he should be and, wait, ohmygodfuck. ‘ _Oh_. Should we—?’

‘Do something about it? Yeah, babe.’

‘But she’s an adult and like _super_ drunk on that,’ he waved his hand towards the drinks table, ‘alien shit. Like me. Let her have fun. Speaking of, I should get more of that, I had an idea—’

‘No, Barry, I think you’ve had enough. It’s not even 10.’

He grumbled, then grinned, and then sped away.

 

There was another fire and, oddly enough, Mick wasn’t its author, nor were the inebriated speedsters. The Christmas tree caught fire because Constantine wanted to have a smoke and Gary knocked into him as he was bringing pizza for the two of them and had to avoid Laurel walking past with cocktail glasses in her hands.

Killer Frost came out. She froze the tree before the smoke alarms realised what was going on. It was dealt with. But still, that was way too much fire for a person who wasn’t convicted for arson years back. There were still more than two hours left till midnight.

‘You’re welcome,’ Frost said with a smirk, which quickly turned into a frown meant for John. ‘Don’t do that again, handsome.’

She decided it was time for her to have some fun too; Caitlin can’t have all of it, right? She strode to the bar to have herself a drink, because Caitlin has been sipping at soft cocktails the whole time despite Frost telling her to fire it up a bit _repeatedly_ , pun intended.

She found herself standing next to Supergirl’s big sister, with whom she was kind of flirting in the alternate reality she didn’t remember, according to Kara—and who could blame her, Alex definitely did catch the eye.

Alex gave her a shy smile, Frost responded with a smirk. ‘Care to share a drink with me?’ she asked, eyes flicking to the shot Alex was about to knock back. In her head, Caitlin rolled her eyes.

‘Uh, sure,’ Alex said, colour rising on her cheeks rather adorably.

She grabbed a shot glass. ‘What’re you having?’

‘Just scotch. My third.’

Frost poured a double shot for herself ( _I hate you, why_ ) and raised her glass in a toast. They downed them in perfect synchrony. ‘So, Alex,’ she made a show of checking her out, ‘how come such a beautiful and smart girl like you is single, hmm?’

( _Stop flirting with her!_ )

_Come on, Cait, you know we like her. And when was the last time we got laid?_

( _But we don’t flirt with women!_ )

_Well, **you** don’t._

 

By 10, everyone gave up on trying to control the chaos and just let people do whatever they wanted—well, mostly whatever. Mick was _not_ allowed to finish Constantine’s work with the tree just because he was getting bored and running out of beer.

‘Just drink something else, _Mick_ ,’ Laurel scowled at him, mentally shaking her head at _why exactly_ did she care about saving a Christmas tree from becoming a torch when she’d rather see it burn herself. Or she used to want to see it burn; the conflict stormed inside her.

Mick shuffled off to find Charlie and a bottle of whisky and get a proper load-on. Laurel saw Sara and her girlfriend in the corner of her eye and then turned her attention back to Dinah and Felicity. ‘So, where were we? Oh, right, I said how sweet it was that we both suffered to be here a little.’

But if she didn’t want to be here, she didn’t have to be, so. Figures.

Dinah chuckled. Felicity put her hands on both of their shoulders. ‘Come on, you two, you have to admit it’s at least a bit fun. Where else could you see the Flash getting impaled with a dart or his daughter awkwardly flirting with all the other ladies in the room while slurping on a slightly alcoholic milkshake or Oliver throwing a tantrum because he lost at Risk?’

‘Well, that _was_ a scene worth watching,’ Laurel admitted. Oliver Queen, the Green Arrow, coming last in a game of Risk was something she’s never thought she would see and appreciate, and yet.

Dinah said, ‘Maybe. But I don’t like how irresponsible everyone is.’

‘Relax, Dinah,’ Felicity said, adding pressure to her squeeze before letting go. ‘I’m gonna get us more drinks. And then I might just go back to my husband and leave you two alone, you know…’

Felicity actually fucking _winked_.

 

The Legends snatched all the board games back and gathered on the floor to play a few more rounds. The pizza, pies, and, surprisingly enough, the fancy finger foods requested by Oliver, were eaten. The beers were drunk. But no one complained. No more speedsters decided to pull drunken shenanigans and run around the continent—they only ran around the labs on occasion, and lifted paper cups and burger wrappers in the air. No one was injured. Everything was fine.

Until Kara, who has brought _three_ bottles of her alien alcohol, it turned out, called karaoke.

She could sing well even when inebriated; she had the right to actually say the phrase “I put the _kara_ in _karaoke_ ”. So could Barry. But the others who took part, not particularly. Annoyed groans and boos came from all around when Ralph got halfway through _What’s Up_.

Jesse was next, choosing a Taylor Swift song (Taylor Swift was an actress on Earth-2, a favourite of Jesse’s, so naturally, she was obsessed with her Earth-1 music and had downloaded all six albums). She wasn’t _that_ bad at it, but you can imagine what alien alcohol does to your system. Then came Curtis and Rene doing a duet, Jax and his girlfriend doing the _very same_ duet, Charlie and a Sex Pistols song, Winn, who was actually good too, sorry Winn, and his _Shape of You_ that was totally _not_ paired with direct eye contact with Brainy, and Nia doing a Christmas song, because why the fuck not, Christmas was a week ago.

Never mind the Legends actually getting up from their games to tell her to stop that. She loved Christmas songs, because her planet didn’t have those. Or Christmas. Or Jesus Christ. Or karaoke.

But Sara, pleading that technically she was the captain of this party because it was her idea, which didn’t even make any sense, and it wasn’t true at all, shut the karaoke down after that, despite the protests of others. Oliver, though—he mouthed a _thank you_ at her.

She strolled to the computers and pressed play on Ralph and Caitlin’s previously paused playlist. In these times, she missed Gideon.

Guess what song started playing? _Despacito_. And guess what everyone did? Started dancing and grinding to the melody, and the bolder and crazier even tried to mimic the moves from the video, because of course there was someone who liked the song unironically and learnt it.

And if Cisco sang along in his perfect, fast Spanish, if not precisely in tune, no one called him out on it anymore—because what was weirder, that or having the ability to travel through parallel universes like he owned it all?

 

‘What do you call beer pong with no beer?’ Curtis asked. ‘Vodka pong!’

No one knew whose idea it actually was, only that it was decidedly not one of the brightest ones. But hey, it’s a party, and people drink and do stupid shit on parties, even normally responsible heroes if they lose enough dignity and self-control.

They were too far gone to care anymore. It was what, an hour to midnight?

‘Let’s make the best of the rest of 2018!’ Caitlin, still in her cold form, called, and didn’t even stutter at the coincidental rhyme. She did, however, make snow fall from the ceiling for a brief while.

Nora—both Noras, in fact—reached for the snowflakes with awe befitting only children and tipsy people. A split second later, so did a perfectly sober Zari, so maybe the previous statement wasn’t entirely true after all.

A strange game called for strange players and stranger allies. Oliver and Constantine teamed up against Frost and Alex for the first round, and then it was John Diggle’s turn (he’s had enough asking people what the fuck they were doing so instead he joined them) to play with Brainy against Sherloque and Harry Wells.

Those two came along better than everyone had suspected—but then again, they knew each other from the Council of Wellses. Cisco and Lyla watched the game unfold with a little more concern than the others, who just cheered for whoever got the ball in the cup.

Oliver was, once again, defeated. Call him a master archer _now_.

He sent Constantine a glare that could kill had he gained mental powers, because he’s been no help _whatsoever_. John, ever so unimpressed, just scoffed at him, patted his shoulder, and said, ‘I came ‘ere to stuff my nose with vodka, ‘s all.’

In that, he succeeded.

At least Dig and Brainy shared a victorious high-five, and Oliver didn’t have to be so ashamed for the entirety of his team. Because it was definitely a team thing now. And his head spun a little. Okay, not good, that was definitely _not_ good.

Dinah and Laurel played against Nate and Mick next. For Team Arrow, they said. They delivered another victory and a hazy, confused Nate who had to be led away to sit down in Ray’s warm embrace. Mick was fine. He was used to it.

Nate was lucky Ray refused to drink anything but cider and non-alcoholic beverages, thanks to John’s escapades last week.

Teams Flash and Supergirl couldn’t let it go so easily, so they sent Kara and James to play against Ralph and Nora, and both duos _definitely_ cheated using their powers. But Kara’s powers matched Ralph and Nora’s, so it was almost a fair game anyway. Almost.

No one won. They played equally well, and all of them got too distracted by the music that has got louder, somehow. It was the perfect song for letting go of reality and just _dancing._

Ironically, it was called _Drunk Groove_ , as Iris so helpfully shouted through the speakers.

 

No one was surprised when two minutes later, Laurel practically _jumped_ against a slightly more relaxed Dinah, manoeuvred her around and sat her on the table before moving closed and kissing her, either.

A few people snapped pictures; that was all.

Dinah’s hands were in Laurel’s hair now, and Laurel’s hands were sliding under her T-shirt, and the atmosphere became a little too heated, so the others slowly departed and left them to it. There were _tongues_.

Mortal enemies who, again?

 

Midnight was getting closer and closer and the excitement was near as palpable in the air.

Somehow, the party activities gave way to casual lounging and sitting and standing around and having mostly nonsensical conversations. It was like mass hypnosis or something; no one knew who was first, just that no one actually _suggested_ a game or anything and they dissipated across the cortex.

Kara, Lena, Alex, and Killer Frost, who stayed by her side the whole time after the vodka pong, sat on the floor under the Flash suit alcove and shared a bucket of chocolate chip ice cream. Alex was nowhere near uncomfortable around her by now, and, you know, at least she wasn’t the third wheel with her sister and Lena.

John and Charlie headed out to have a smoke and took Oliver, whose pride was still a bit wounded and whose head still wasn’t alright despite his high tolerance, with them to cool off—literally. It was nearly freezing outside.

Gary was lumped against Mona on a sofa that has been temporarily placed in the cortex by Kara, and he was snoring with his mouth wide open. His glasses were god knows where (John’s coat pocket, but he didn’t know that, so). Mona spaced out five minutes ago and didn’t have a clue what was going on.

Ray and Nate argued about fruits and snogged in turns, and then they argued about tomatoes being a fruit and watermelons not being one, which did not make much _sense_ , right, and then they snogged some more. Couples…

No one really knew where did Laurel and Dinah disappear to. Perhaps for the better.

Felicity, Iris, both Noras, Zari, and Nia danced in the middle of the cortex like maniacal robot zombies, but it was mostly adorable, okay. The guys must have thought so too, because they were filming their little group from the distance while chatting and dancing as well, but only slowly and hesitantly, which certainly did not help the quality of the videos.

Good for the girls.

The song playing right now was _Shook_ by Raja Kumari, and who cared they didn’t really like rap, or knew the song. It was a catchy tune. Also, support all the WOC artists, half the women would say, and did say when Ralph tried to put his playlist back on.

It was better when random YouTube songs played.

Iris danced hand in hand with her daughter, and they were both laughing, because by now, _both_ of them were more or less intoxicated. Barry, holding a camera the entire time, shone with pride and love and happiness, because that was how it should be. Maybe minus alien drinks and vodka, but oh well.

Autoplay led to some sort of an electronic Hindi song, and without hesitation, the women danced to that as well, because what the hell. It was cool.

Then the smoking trio returned, covered in snowflakes, and seeing the scene unfolding in front of them, John and Charlie both asked, ‘What the fuck?’

Everyone turned their heads to them. The Noras and Zari flipped them the bird and continued to enjoy the groove. ‘You can go back out if you don’t like it,’ Zari shouted.

She was met with an eye-roll or two, but no one turned their back to her or the cortex; John and Charlie plopped down on the sofa next to the napping Gary, and Oliver joined John and Lyla in what he hoped would be a civil conversation.

It was not. They were arguing about _Die Hard_ with some of the other men, and then _Brooklyn Nine-Nine_ was brought up, because that is a natural occurrence when someone talks about _Die Hard_ these days. Felicity watched _Brooklyn Nine-Nine_. He thought it was too silly to be worth his while.

Everyone told him he’s made a mistake and that he should go watch it NOW, and then they realised he couldn’t because no one had it on a flash drive, or had a flash drive for that matter, and then it dawned on them that he _could_ because they were in STAR Labs, goddammit. Screens and WiFi _everywhere_.

But Oliver was actually good at the whole talk-before-shoot thing, believe that or not, and talked them out of it, mostly because they were idiots who didn’t notice it happened to be 11:46 already. He counted four surprised Pikachu faces.

Yes, he was familiar with memes, thank you very much. Felicity has made sure of that on several occasions, and so has Curtis.

Barry was the first to figure things out, but still, it took ten seconds too long for someone who had superspeed. (Well, he did forget about it earlier and seemed to be genuinely shocked when his hand passed through the wall.)

‘It’s New Year’s Eve!’ he said a little too loudly. ‘Right! 2019! Is in fourteen minutes.’

Someone else, from across the room, repeated the sentence more enthusiastically, ‘2019 is in fourteen minutes!!!’ and then a wave of hoots and cheers carried through the cortex and mixed with the music. (A remix of sorts was playing now.)

‘We should drink to that!’ suggested Jesse, already running to get some wine. That was the last to go, besides the champagne they managed to hide from everyone long enough to make it till the actual midnight. She got two bottles and no glasses.

The bottles were passed round, and even Ray took a sip. Then he scrunched up his face, because he did _not_ like wine.

 

Five minutes until midnight, all 37 people put on coats and jackets and parkas and scarves, grabbed the boxes of fireworks and champagne bottles and glasses, and headed out to the empty car park.

A thin layer of snow covered the ground and more was falling from the skies. Mick grunted and complained, but everyone was as thrilled about it as they were about Caitlin’s superpower snow earlier. They stuck out hands, and tongues even, to feel it against their skin.

Barry was immediately running to see the trail he made in the snow as if he’s never done that before. Jesse and Nora decided to gather snow from half of Central City and build a snowman using their speed. Thirty seconds later, one stood right in the middle of Barry’s circle—or, well, ellipse. It was crooked and ridiculous, but the girls were insanely proud of their creation. So were Barry and Harry, they guessed. At least a little bit.

Almost everyone took a picture.

Mick, meanwhile, was preparing the fireworks and looking generally pleased with himself. Who knew he would enjoy fireworks so much? Yes, the word _firework_ literally contained the word _fire_ , but they were different from his usual toys, his flame gun.

 

There were three minutes left. Charlie was throwing snow at Ray, who was throwing snow at Nate in return, who had nothing to do with it, why can’t he leave him alone? But as another cold gift landed in his face, he was forced to retaliate.

‘Actual. Children,’ Ava said, shaking her head, and earned her very own spray of snow landing on her coat. It was Sara, and then there was another one, this time from Gary, who thought it was absolutely hilarious to throw snow at his boss. Maybe it was, but not for her.

‘Aves, snow! It’s snowing!’ Sara laughed, still obviously drunk out of her mind. She usually wasn’t this carefree and childish. She scooped up more of the white, complained it was cold, and threw it at whoever stood closest to her, and that happened to be Alex.

Things were not as awkward between them since Pride, but still. Both of them froze on the spot. They avoided talking all night, except for a few pleasantries. ‘Heyyy, Alex,’ Sara said stiffly. ‘Don’t kill me?’

Alex bent down and threw an oddly-shaped snowball at her as an answer. She shrugged. ‘Even Steven.’

Sara smirked at her. ‘I like your new hairstyle. You rockin’ that whole lesbian aesthetic now, huh?’

Alex blushed, not sure whether it was the cold or Sara’s words. ‘Uh, thanks… I’m gonna…’ she looked behind her, ‘go over there. To Caitlin and Cisco and… them.’

Sara turned to Ava, who was still standing beside her but silent. ‘That was awkward, right.’ She put it like a statement.

‘Kind of,’ Ava nodded. ‘But hey,’ she threw her arms round Sara’s neck, ‘don’t worry about her, babe. You’re mine. You’re my new year’s kiss. And speaking of, we’ve only got like one minute, so maybe we should go join the rest too.’

‘Good idea.’ Sara took Ava’s hand, and swinging their hands between them, they joined their friends, all standing in a flock round Mick and his fireworks. Cisco and a few others were holding their mobiles and counting down the clock; some people were filming it.

 

46, 45, 44, 43, 42…

 

Nate, Kara, Winn, Oliver, John, Harry, and Jesse were holding the champagne, shivering with cold or anticipation, no one could tell. 36 glasses, and one with juice for Zari, who wasn’t going to break the no-drinking rule to celebrate a year that was technically in her past, stood on the snow-covered tarmac, ready to be broken by an accidental kick.

It didn’t happen. The countdown became louder as it got closer to zero and more people joined in.

 

30, 29, 28, 27, 26…

 

There were a few passing-by groups of drunken people, who must have noticed the large group standing on the car park. But no one paid them any attention; they were just an ordinary friend group celebrating New Year, just like them.

For once, that was actually true.

 

18, 17, 16, 15, 14…

 

The phone-holders—Cisco, Barry, Lena, Curtis, and Rene—stood in a tight circle, sort of hugging one another with their free arms. It was a good thing the clocks were in sync, otherwise it might have been embarrassing. Them being engineers and tech geniuses or being friends with such did prove to be an advantage.

 

10, 9, 8, 7, 6…

 

Everyone joined now. They could howl down the whole city.

 

5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0.

 

Seven corks flew into the air with a loud pop and seven people poured champagne into the glasses as quickly as they could without having superspeed, except for Kara and Jesse, who did have it, but you can’t make liquid pour any faster no matter how hard you try to speed it up in any case.

‘Midnight!’ someone shouted, and another said, ‘Happy new year!’, and an excited ‘Here we goooo!’, and more people joined them with ‘Happy new year 2019!’, ‘Welcome 2019!’, loud exclaims of ‘Wooooo!’, and even ‘Happy 20biteen! This is OUR year!’ coming from Nate’s mouth.

They took their glasses, and people’s hands, and held their mobiles and filmed, and shared kisses, some platonic, some not, and some _positively_ not.

Kara and Lena. Sara and Ava. Nate and Ray. Barry and Iris. Oliver and Felicity. Laurel and Dinah. Zari and Nora. John and Lyla. John and Gary and Mona. Mick and Charlie. Jax and Carly. Alex and Killer Frost. Curtis and Rene—they did it immediately. Some others needed a slight nudge, or a sip of that champagne, or the realisation there wasn’t anyone else first: Nora and Jesse. Winn and Brainy. James and Nia. Ralph and Sherloque. Cisco and Harry.

Everyone got their new year’s kiss in the end, though, and some even two—John, Gary, and Mona, we’re looking at you. Not fair. Everyone drank their champagne. Some took selfies or photos.

Mick set the fireworks ablaze and watched them fly up in the sky one by one, sparkling in beautiful shapes and colours, and painting a picture on the canvas of the night. They all did, filming it and clapping, which was pointless, since the fireworks were so loud it was deafening.

There were four large boxes. They were enough for almost six consecutive minutes of different kinds of fireworks lighting up the sky. There were more of them round them, coming from the city and the river, and the largest, official city fireworks came from the centre and rose so high that even at STAR Labs, they could see them. Those shots lasted for ten minutes.

 

At 00:02, Wally messaged the Legends group chat, and the West family chat as well, but there he only got a reply from Joe and a row of emojis from Iris. The others were too busy to check, unlike the Legends.

 

 **notbarryallen:** so it’s 2 pm here BUT

 **notbarryallen:** HAPPY NEW YEAR FOR REAL THIS TIME DORKS 🎆🎇🍾🥂🎉🎊

 **notadick:** yes from me too! happy new year!

 **MiniStein:** Happy new year 2019!!!

 **notbarryallen:** and most importantly, happy 20biteen y’all it’s your year 😉

 **notadick:** yours too if you squint 😉

 **gayforray:** thank you!!!!!!?!

 **Lancelot:** Likewise Wally

 **rayofsunshine:** Thank you! Happy new year to you too @MiniStein

 **animalgirl:** I know I said it before but once again, I wish you all the best!

 **QueenZee:** you left me here with these drunk idiots @notbarryallen @animalgirl @MiniStein

 **notbarryallen:** yikes condolences

 **QueenZee:** thanks man

 **MiniDarhk:** lets b real he’d be dtunk as fick if he were here

 **MiniDarhk:** on teh alien booz

 **notbarryallen:** you got alien booze

 **notadick:** I’m kinda worried about you @MiniDarhk

 **MiniDarhk:** lol no

 **monalisa:** retaelable @MiniDarhk

 **Lancelot:** Okay talk to you later the snowman is walking

 **animalgirl:** What?

 **MissTimeBureau:** No it’s not we’ve just had too much

 **notbarryallen:** write it down everyone AVA DIDN’T PUNCTUATE

 **MissTimeBureau:** Fuck off

 **QueenZee:** see what I’m dealing with

 

At 00:04, Barry found a playlist of songs about bisexuality on Spotify and hit play, because what was a better way to start the year, called 20-biteen on the internet? The first song was _Girls X Boys_ by Alice Chater.

 

At 00:06, someone got it in their head that they should play Spin the Bottle, because it’s been a while since there was a game, and they haven’t played this in ages, or rather, never, and that someone wasn’t Wally, who talked about it in the chat a few odd times before, that someone was Winn Schott.

He was high on kissing Brainy, which didn’t happen just once, but twice, or maybe three times, he had no idea—and if there were any doubts before, they were all gone by now, because _damn_. Blame the alcohol, but he really loved kissing Brainy. It was so much better than arguing with him, for sure. And he was also undeniably, absolutely _hot_ wearing his image inducer and Winn was _not_ going to hide that he thought so. Or that he thought he was hot without it, too.

(Yeah, okay, he did have a thing for gorgeous aliens, shut up.)

And apparently, he wanted to get more kisses from all these random people, some of whom he only met seven hours ago. Or see them kiss each other, and maybe help some oblivious idiots finally get together—and yes, he got the irony.

The idea wasn’t even the weirdest bit. That would be the fact that most of the group _agreed to it_ and wanted to play a stupid game that no one above the age of sixteen really plays anymore.

They left all the stuff in the car park and went back inside.

Winn grabbed an empty champagne bottle he’s brought with him, had Kara drag a table over, and placed it on said table. Kara also brought more chairs and another sofa, together with Barry, who must have snuck to the bar and had more of the alien gin, because he giggled the entire time, and in an attempt to run out of the cortex, he hit the wall instead of the doorway.

Iris shook her head and laughed at her husband. She did not want to play, though. She was one of the saner ones, as Mick so graciously pointed out. He was dozing, leaning against a wall. She actually thanked him for saying that.

So in addition to Winn, Barry, and Kara, almost the entirety of the Legends decided to play, and with them Curtis, Rene, Laurel, Cisco, Ralph, Caitlin, Nora, Brainy, and Alex. They sat on the chairs and sofas with drinks and food distributed across the floor.

Winn spun the bottle. It landed on Nate.

 

‘Go, go, go!’

Hands were clapping as the spinning gradually slowed down. It had pointed at Cisco before, when it was Ralph’s turn, so after a messy kiss, this round was his. Having consumed a significant amount of Metaxa, tequila, and some sort of questionable Earth-2 moonshine, forget the wine everyone, the group became much louder.

They’ve been at it for half an hour now, but there definitely weren’t as many kisses as one would expect. What _was_ there were pot brownies that Jax made on the Waverider ten minutes ago, getting there with the help of Sara, who was in control of the time courier now.

Even Zari had some of those.

The bottle stopped at Nora Darhk. ‘Okay, come here,’ she said, getting up. She waved him over awkwardly. Somehow, he managed to rise, with a little stagger to his legs, and lean over the table to give her a short kiss. He smiled widely when they parted.

‘You’re adorable!’ Nora told him, and he sensed it in the vibrational field that she was going to squish his cheeks. He tried to back away but got caught on Barry’s outstretched leg, so he fell on the sofa with a huff. Then he got wind of her words. ‘Thank you!’

Nora sat down with a little help from Kara, who was sitting next to her. They’ve changed positions around randomly during the game. She giggled at her.

‘It’s your turn now,’ Kara had to remind her. She scrambled up again and made the bottle spin using her magic. Why do it the normal way when you know a cooler one?

By some mocking call of fate, or maybe it was just Sara and Gary, she spun for a kiss with Ray. The two of them weren’t the only ones who blushed; so did Nate, and Zari a little bit.

‘God, Wally would love this,’ Sara said. It was the one thing they _all_ thought.

Nate, instead of being completely dumbfounded, pulled out his mobile phone and opened the camera app. He did kiss Winn and Caitlin himself before, it was just a game, no big deal. He chuckled at Nora and Ray’s reactions.

Ray was a guilty puppy. Nora was very much amused, and there was something in her eyes, something undecipherable. She was _glad_ it was Ray. Despite all the drinks, she went through the trouble of walking to him and _sitting down in his lap_. Oh boy, this was going to be _good_.

The group cheered, and Barry complained about his head hurting from the bump for the fifth time. Quietly, though not enough not to be overheard by her sofa-mates, Zari said, ‘Go be happy, babe…’ An absent smile played at her lips.

‘Hey Z,’ Mona whispered, ‘she _is_ happy, with you.’ Zari momentarily ignored her.

‘So it’s happening, huh,’ Nora whispered and took Ray’s face in her hands, when Cisco so gracefully evaded her before. ‘I finally get to kiss your handsome face, sunshine.’ She leant in and placed a loud smack on his lips.

As she pulled away, Nora didn’t get up from Ray’s lap. She pulled in for another kiss, stalling the game just as Sara with Ava and Curtis with Rene did before, shocking half of the group and their uncle, stopping time (okay, perhaps that was just her).

Zari blew a raspberry, her high mind swirling all over the place. ‘It’s like, we’re great, but I look at her and see her _not_ looking at me. Do you get it?’ She turned to Mona. ‘But she loves cooking with Ray a lot. And him too, says Wally. See that right now?’ She pointed at the pair. ‘And I can’t have sex with her, so there’s that. I just don’t know. I don’t know… I donut know… Do we still have doughnuts?’

‘Did someone say doughnuts?’ Kara’s eyes lit up. She couldn’t control her super-hearing anymore, so she must’ve heard the entirety of Zari’s outpouring—but doughnuts were the only thing she cared about.

Mona, on the other hand, said, ‘I don’t get it. I’m not even listening, sorry.’ She, too, was watching Nora and Ray make out on the sofa in front of everyone. She grinned, because she _knew_ she was right about them and their chemistry—the OTP of half the Time Bureau.

Then she saw that John and Gary copied them, and a little bit more on the indecent side. She downed the rest of her drink and watched her boyfriends from the distance. It _did things_.

Ray wasn’t about to spin the bottle anytime soon. His hands were utterly, entirely full and occupied with Nora Darhk, and his head was spinning _instead of_ the bottle, partially due to alcohol, partially thanks to him. Kissing. Nora. Wow.

But what about—he had a boyfriend—

‘All right, that’s enough, babe,’ Nate put his hands on Ray’s shoulders from behind as if he sensed his thoughts. Ray pulled away, cheeks flushed and burning, lips red and slightly swollen. ‘It’s my turn to make out with you now.’ He winked, but Ray couldn’t see it. Nora did.

‘Only if I can make out with you too later,’ she said, and flashed him a wink too. With one last kiss on Ray’s mouth, she got up—and nearly ended up on the coffee table, but thankfully, Barry and his quick reflexes caught her.

Nate grinned at her, thinking that was a good idea, yeah, they should do that! And have more pot brownies—where did those go? But first, he crawled over Ray’s body and kissed him upside down.

‘But you didn’t spin! Not fair!’ Alex protested, and was promptly shushed by four people.

‘Pretend it landed on me and go kiss Caitlin, because you totally want to do that,’ Nate said and hung himself around Ray’s body, limply sliding to the floor and resting on his knees.

They didn’t play Spin the Bottle anymore.

 

At 00:43, Alex said they should play Never Have I Ever.

Zari said that they should drink orange juice instead of alcohol, but they called her out on it and said they _definitely_ won’t; she can do whatever she wants.

‘I was just tryin’ to take care of you, but whatever. I still want a doughnut…’

‘So go and have one,’ Rene said, and with some level of effort, she did. She came back three minutes later with two doughnuts, claiming she couldn’t decide which one was happier. They were already playing, cups of whatever they could find in their hands. The others, Mick and Charlie and the Diggles excluded, have joined them, haphazardly sitting on the dirty floor.

Laurel made 80 percent of the group drink by saying, ‘Never have I ever travelled in time.’

 

Shortly before 2 a.m., the playlist ended and put the singing endeavours of Barry, Cisco, and Jax to a stop. They all knew the lyrics to Lady Gaga’s _Born This Way_ , and despite their bad, drunken interpretation of the song, they made the group _dance_ , or at least excitedly wave their hands in the air and swing on the sofas.

Even Oliver, after Felicity gave him two pot brownies. (Just to be sure.) For the first time in years, he smiled openly without any inhibitions, and they all liked him a little bit more—but they could still imagine the faces he would make the next day—oh, wait, later today—when it’ll have worn off and they’ll have shown him all the videos. He will not be happy _then_. But who cared. Cheery Oliver was a sight to see.

They have learnt some interesting things about the others during the game. Jesse had sped four people to the toilet to throw up their dinner, which was mostly Ray Palmer’s healthy Asian meals, because those were the last thing not to have been consumed, and all the drinks that have caused the sickness. Five people have fallen asleep; Gary was snoring loudly again, this time slumped against Ava, who was fast asleep as well.

It wasn’t _that_ much of a disaster. Right?

Right.

Except no one knew where did Ray, Nate, and Nora go. Together. Still high as fuck. They haven’t seen Winn and Brainy anywhere for the past half-hour either. And Ralph stretched his body all the way to the bathroom to vomit for the third time now.

(Note to self: listen to Cisco and don’t try alien alcohol.)

(But he was practically the only one who didn’t have anyone to make out with, dammit! He needed something strong to forget about _that_ particular sorrow.)

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

When Joe came in at 8:42 to check in on his family and friends, he did _not_ expect to find what he did. His jaw dropped all the way to the floor, and his feet were glued to the metal, figuratively _and_ literally, because he stepped into a dried puddle of something sweet that might or might not have been coke.

‘Holy fuck,’ he said, taking in the image in front of him. He rarely swore, but he couldn’t find a better word right now.

The two sofas were loaded with people lying on top of each other like the biggest sandwich in the world. There was Oliver, his hand hanging from the edge of the sofa. Felicity lay with her head in his lap, and Laurel’s whole body was pressed against hers. Lena’s legs were in Laurel’s lap; next to her was Zari, and under the sofa, on top of some plates, slept Barry. Gary, Ava, Sara, Curtis, Rene, and James were sort of entangled with each other on the second sofa. Ralph was very uncomfortably folded in a wooden chair that no one knew STAR Labs had before the party. Joe found Mick and Charlie snoring against the wall, John and Mona in the adjacent lab, and Cisco and Harry under the table, wrapped around each other. Cisco stirred when he walked by. Jesse was sleeping in the rolling chair nearby.

He didn’t see Iris or Nora anywhere. He walked to the speed lab in search of them and found Winn hugging Brainy on the floor instead. Then he made a mistake of wondering in Nora’s not-so-secret secret lounge. He discovered another human sandwich on a sofa, and this time, the three people were mostly naked. Well, down to their underwear, and trousers in Ray’s case. Even so, he did _not_ want to see that. He went to the bedroom that Harry has set up when he was staying over, and there he found Caitlin and Alex on the bed and Kara resting against it.

At least no one was locked in the Pipeline. But the worry for his daughter and granddaughter (still weird) multiplied with each room he didn’t see them in.

He fished for his phone in his bag. He texted Iris, thinking it was futile, hoping it wouldn’t be.

She, thankfully, replied mere two minutes later.

**Iris**

**iMessage**  
**Tue, Jan 01, 8:51 AM**

 

I came to Star Labs and saw some  
disturbing stuff. Where are you?

nora and I are at home, dw dad

oh god what did you see

[ _image_ ]

yeah we left them that way

I’m not sure if I want to know,  
but why did you leave Barry here?

he… seemed content on the sofa

also nora couldn’t exactly run back

He’s on the floor.

im coming there right now and  
better picking my idiot husband up

okay I gotta take a shower first tho  
and get rid of this hangover ugh

Take care of yourself, Iris. I’m  
gonna take care of this mess.

thanks dad, you’re the best ❤️

Speaking of, I just found SCPD’s  
captain passed out in the kitchen  
with Sherloque and some girl.

so that’s where she went

Delivered

 

 

* * *

 

**Instagram**

**caitsnow** Let’s see who wins the eating competition, my bets are on @bear.allen 👀

Liked by **zariisthebest** , **julianalbertd** , **itsralphdibny** , **holtthedoor** and **172 others**  
_View All 48 Comments_  
**bear.allen** PSA I didn’t win it was @itsralphdibny  
**sanfran.cisco** did I really look like that

 

 **smoakandmirrors** gal pals for life haha @sunshinedanvers @imnotactuallyevil

Liked by **alexdanvers38** , **sara.lancelot** , **rene_ramireez** , **sanfran.cisco** and **213 others**  
_View All 312 Comments_  
**imnotactuallyevil** @smoakandmirrors I’ll kill you  
            **smoakandmirrors** @imnotactuallyevil that would be very contradictory to your handle but ok

**constantine** Never let my boyfriend play darts again @oliverqueenreal @bear.allen @garebeargreen

Liked by **monalisawu** , **laurellances** , **zedmartinart** , **zatannaz** and **56 others**  
_View All 12 Comments_  
**zedmartinart** yikes @bear.allen  
**oliverqueenreal** He ASKED me to teach him all right

 

 **oliverqueenreal** Happy (early) New Year 2019! Looking back, 2018 was a year that gave me a lot, even if I didn’t know that then – I spent half of it in prison and the other hiding. Thanks to @scpdofficial and @dinahdrake, that is all in the past, and for that, I am grateful. I am proud to bring justice in the city as _#GreenArrow_ openly and under the law. I also had many amazing moments with my wife @smoakandmirrors and my son and found allies where I didn’t expect them. I hope _#2k19_ brings the people of Star City and all over the world nothing but love and happiness and helps us see the good in us.

Liked by **brucewayne** , **smoakandmirrors** , **theaqueeen** , **dinahdrake** and **12,659 others**  
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**bear.allen** who knew oliver was sappy 😂 happy new year!!!  
**greenarrowfan12** Your a true hero for all of us @oliverqueenreal and we love u!!! _#legalizevigilantes_

 

 **iriswestallen** HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! swipe to see my beautiful husband @bear.allen get drunk before it’s even 9 pm lmao I love you babe

Liked by **bear.allen** , **westwally** , **smoakandmirrors** , **sara.lancelot** and **231 others**  
_View All 106 Comments_  
**bear.allen** god you’re gorgeous ily too  
**caitsnow** Hot damn

 

 **sara.lancelot** The crew is partying hard™ happy new year guys @avasharpe @noradoll.darhk @zariisthebest @raypalmer @nategaywood @constantine @garebeargreen @monalisawu @mickroryy @char_lie_

Liked by **oliverqueenreal** , **kendrahawk** , **zariisthebest** , **theaqueeen** and **68 others**  
_View All 23 Comments_  
**nategaywood** @zariisthebest your face 😂😂😂  
**sanfran.cisco** you’re gonna liveblog the whole thing aren’t you

 

 **sanfran.cisco** trust my friends to set a christmas tree on fire PSA don’t worry nothing happened

Liked by **caitsnow** , **mickroryy** , **hahahartley** , **bear.allen** and **34 others**  
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**caitsnow** nothing happened when I saved it, of course 😏🔥❄️  
            **mickroryy** @caitsnow it was prettier on fire 🔥🔥🔥

 

 **smoakandmirrors** just your usual new year’s eve party gallery

Liked by **raypalmer** , **lindaparking** , **oliverqueenreal** , **sara.lancelot** and **426 others**  
_View All 98 Comments_  
**westwally** damn I wish I were there I miss u guys  
**oliverqueenreal** Are you sure you should be showing this to the entire world

 

 **zariisthebest** tfw you’re the only sober person in 37 _#muslimlife #noalcohol #myidiotfriends #boardgames #newyearseve_

Liked by **noradoll.darhk** , **westwally** , **itsralphdibny** , **holtthedoor** and **49 others**  
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**westwally** lol is nora winning it again  
**westwally** also I feel u

 

 **bear.allen** she put the KARA in _#karaoke_ @sunshinedanvers

Liked by **imnotactuallyevil** , **oliverqueenreal** , **jessequickwells** , **iriswestallen** and **89 others**  
_View All 36 Comments_  
**sunshinedanvers** @bear.allen aslsdhnknf  
**imnotactuallyevil** I love my girlfriend and her voice

 

 **holtthedoor** what do you call beer pong w/o beer? VODKA PONG aka things are gettin real in here _#newyearseve #party #beerpong_

Liked by **laurellances** , **rxyharper** , **nategaywood** , **sanfran.cisco** and **47 others**  
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**dig_deep** You were filming it???  
**alexdanvers38** wait I don’t remember any of this

 

 **nategaywood** zombie apocalypse is here @zariisthebest @noradoll.darhk @smoakandmirrors @iriswestallen @norawestallen

Liked by **caitsnow** , **char_lie_** , **garebeargreen** , **noradoll.darhk** and **99 others**  
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**noradoll.darhk** fuck you nate  
**lyla.michaels** Am I the only sane person here?

 

 **jessequickwells** @norawestallen WE BUILT A SNOWMAN ⛄

Liked by **iriswestallen** , **wellharry** , **smoakandmirrors** , **sanfran.cisco** and **67 others**  
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**caitsnow** Killer Frost approves ❄️  
**sanfran.cisco** did u know the sudden disappearance of snow from half the city was in the NEWS

 

 **garebeargreen** I didn’t get one but TWO New Year’s kisses ;))) @constantine @monalisawu _#ot3 #polyamory #ilovethem #geeksquad_ photos by @nategaywood

Liked by **constantine** , **noradoll.darhk** , **avasharpe** , **zatannaz** and **18 others**  
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**calistaggreen** wait when HWAT BROTHER  
**nategaywood** ;)

 

 **iriswestallen** yay it’s hereeeee welcome 2019 🥂 here’s the lovers squad 😉 pt. 1 @bear.allen @oliverqueenreal @smoakandmirrors @sara.lancelot @avasharpe @holtthedoor @rene_ramireez @sunshinedanvers @imnotactuallyevil @nategaywood @raypalmer @sanfran.cisco @wellharry @mickroryy @char_lie_ @laurellances @dinahdrake @dig_deep @lyla.michaels

Liked by **westwally** , **dahorton** , **katekane** , **nategaywood** and **364 others**  
_View All 153 Comments_  
**westwally** ALL THE _#lgbtpositivity_  🏳️‍🌈  
**laurellances** @dinahdrake wanna have dinner with me tonite 😉

 

 **iriswestallen** lovers squad pt. 2 @jeffersonjaxon @carlyy96 @zariisthebest @noradoll.darhk @constantine @garebeargreen @monalisawu @norawestallen @jessequickwells @caitsnow @alexdanvers38 @itsralphdibny & sherloque, nia, james, winn, brainy who don’t have instagrams huh sad

Liked by **imnotactuallyevil** , **bear.allen** , **raypalmer** , **norawestallen** and **302 others**  
_View All 89 Comments_  
**norawestallen 😂😂😂**  
**caitsnow** I… really did that, didn’t I

**mickroryy** fireworks are awesome

Liked by **sanfran.cisco** , **monalisawu** , **sara.lancelot** , **jeffersonjaxon** and **23 others**  
_View All 4 Comments_  
**monalisawu** yes!!! 🎆🔥🥂  
**raypalmer** Nice picture!

 

 **jeffersonjaxon** loved catching up w u guys

Liked by **carlyy96** , **raypalmer** , **caitsnow** , **grayson_barista** and **54 others**  
_View All 11 Comments_  
**nategaywood** love catching up with you too bro  
**westwally** happy new year!!!!!!

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a) apparently you can eat about 4 burgers in 5 minutes? i totally looked that up and was in awe  
> b) i do actually like despacito unironically  
> c) most of the songs mentioned were what was currently playing on my random youtube autoplay playlist  
> d) the 20biteen playlist is totally a self-insert hehe [ listen here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3zUE9lLRvbLguLSedd3t8v)  
> e) the instagram comments are from like way later  
> f) all the instagrams are on private except for oliver, felicity, laurel, ray, and iris, so they can post about their superhero stuff, and kara, lena, and alex have earth-1 instagrams probably thanks to some cisco magic  
> g) did you spot all 11 cameos in the likes???  
> h) and yes, this was just an excuse to write about my weird rare-pairs, you're welcome  
>  ~~i) i became totally invested in the entire arrowverse after this, not just the legends, not my intention, but okay. it's why i'm writing the spin-off ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯~~


	90. [interlude] consequences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is angsty, i'm sorry in advance

‘You, me, Zari, Nora. We need to talk.’

Nate’s words lay heavy in the air. Ray fiddled with the hem of his sweatshirt. Zari blew on her tea and took a sip to mask her expression. Nora’s eyes guiltily flicked around the room.

Ever since they woke up at STAR Labs at 10 a.m., ate had Gideon’s hangover soup, and returned to the ship, things have been tense between the four of them and the rest of the team, because clearly, the others knew something they didn’t. They’ve been walking on eggshells.

‘Yeah, that’s—’ Nora said, quietly. ‘Yeah.’ She walked over to Ray and Nate’s bed and sat on it. She looked up at the two of them, and her girlfriend. ‘We fucked up last night, didn’t we?’

She didn’t remember much, but waking up in her underwear next to Ray and Nate in the lounge room, well, that was an indicator enough.

‘Don’t look at me, I don’t remember anything past Spin the Bottle,’ said Zari and took another sip of tea. She didn’t sit down. ‘I had some pot and woke up on the sofa with my feet in Barry’s face, that’s all I know.’

(Her feet were _under_ Barry’s head like a pillow.)

Ray rubbed the back of his head. He was the only one who remembered mostly everything. ‘And what exactly _do_ you remember about… about Spin the Bottle?’

‘Nate kissed Winn and Caitlin,’ she said and thought for a minute. ‘Then Caitlin kissed Curtis, Curtis kissed Rene, Rene kissed Sara, Sara made out with Ava, Ava kissed Kara. I think Kara kissed Ralph—I don’t know; that’s where it gets confusing.’

Nate continued for her, ‘Ralph kissed Cisco, Cisco kissed Nora, and Nora kissed—’

‘Ray,’ Nora said. They locked gazes for a brief moment before hers fell on the floor.

He cleared his throat. ‘Yes. We kissed. Three times.’

Nate gestured at Zari. ‘You said something about doughnuts.’

‘Then Nate kissed me and we stopped playing. To, um, to make out.’

‘Hang on, I think I got it on video,’ Nate reached into his pocket. ‘It’s coming back to me a little.’ He tapped on his mobile and scrolled down the picture gallery, which was way too full of selfies and shots and videos of his friends doing ridiculous things if you ask him. He got all the way to what he recognised as the game of Spin the Bottle. His thumb hovered over the thumbnail of Nora sitting on Ray’s lap. It was a video. He had vague memories of making it.

He sat down next to Nora. ‘Yep, I’ve got a video, but I don’t think we’ll like it.’ He looked gradually at Ray, Zari, and Nora, then at Ray again. The glance he sent him was pleading.

‘Play it,’ Zari said; her voice was unwavering.

He did, and watched it with bated breath. He saw his boyfriend kiss another woman, a woman who was sitting right next to him; a woman who was in a relationship with someone else; a woman he did actually like a lot. As a friend, he thought before. God, his life was suddenly so complicated.

Nora’s hand shot up to her mouth. Zari didn’t move one bit.

When the video ended, Nate scrolled through all the pictures one by one. The final one was a selfie of him getting a kiss on the corner of his lips from both Ray and Nora.

So, that ship has sailed.

He didn’t know what _exactly_ happened between them, but he did wake up on a sofa, wearing only his briefs and snuggled against Nora, who was snuggled against Ray.

‘Did we,’ Nora almost whispered, ‘you know, have sex?’ She didn’t dare to look at Zari.

‘No,’ Ray assured her. She sighed with relief. ‘We didn’t have sex, but I think we wanted to.’ He blushed a deep shade of red.

(She’s never done anything like this before—she’s never even had sex before. Her relationship with Zari was her first—which, let’s face it, never made it past the stage of “trial relationship” even though it’s been two months.)

‘I—did I fall asleep? I think I fell asleep and you laughed at me,’ Nate said. ‘You laughed at me and my eyes were closed and I kinda really liked your laugh. Then I passed out.’

‘Yeah, you did,’ Ray smiled at him. He did the maths in his head. ‘I think that was around two o’clock.’ His eyes flicked at Nora again. ‘We went to sleep a little later.’

Nora shuffled on the bed uncomfortably. ‘So… what happens now? With us, I mean?’

‘Sorry, I can’t do this right now. I just can’t.’ Zari strode out of the room.

She didn’t like talking about her feelings. Nora knew that. She didn’t either. She let her go.

Nate kicked Ray’s boot. ‘We’re all right, you and me, right, babe?’

‘You know I love you.’

‘But you love Nora too.’ It was a fact. He could see it now. The way he looked at her, how he always ran to help her, the conversations they had in the middle of the night, the cooking lessons he gave her with so much passion.

Ray was a little too good for this world. He cared about people and thought he could save everyone—sometime he did—and fell for each of them a little bit along the process.

‘It’s okay. I know you do. I think I’ve always known.’ He got up and put his hand on Ray’s chest. ‘Your heart is so big it can contain twice the love, and mine is big enough to share you.’ He smiled softly and kissed his jawline.

‘Hello, I’m still here,’ Nora said, ‘and I’m just really confused right now, it’s like—I don’t know what to think. I don’t know. It’s like in one of those romance novels Mona keeps giving me, but it’s real, and I need a minute to figure it out. I’ve only _just_ seen that video.’ She smoothed the creases on the duvet. There was silence.

She got up and left the room too.

 

An hour later, she found Zari in their room, headphones on. She was listening to one of her heavy metal playlists. She approached her slowly, carefully. She tapped her shoulder; only a light touch.

Zari took her headphones off. Nora couldn’t read the expression on her face.

‘Okay, I know you don’t want to, but we need to talk about it.’

‘What’s there to talk about? I’ve seen that video. It’s obvious.’

‘Zari—’ Nora started and stopped immediately, not having thought about her arguments properly even though it’s been an _hour_. ‘I don’t know. I don’t know what it all means,’ she admitted again. ‘But for what it’s worth, I never wanted to hurt you.’

‘I know you didn’t. That’s the last thing you are, Nora. You’re a good person. That’s why you like Ray and—and Nate?’

‘Nate? No. I don’t know. I say that a lot. But I know I like you _too_ , Z. Or I thought I did, but,’ she scoffed, ‘I don’t _know_. I don’t know what’s real anymore. I’m really confused about my feelings. I’ve never been in a relationship before; you know that.’

‘Yeah. Me neither. I don’t even know how relationships _work_. Not really.’

‘But what we have—’ had, past tense? ‘—that’s not an illusion, right?’

‘It’s not,’ Zari said. ‘But it’s a trial relationship. We kissed like six times if you count New Year, which is mostly on me—I’m not a physical person; you know that. PDA kinda makes me uncomfortable. I’m asexual. I’m not relationship material. I don’t talk about emotions, but you made me talk about it now, so this is what you’re getting: you deserve someone better than me. It’s not a cliché, it’s true. You should be with Ray. Not me. I’m too… disastrous.’

‘Are you breaking up with me? Is this it?’

‘I don’t know, is it?’

There was silence for a minute. Only heartbeats.

‘It’s probably for the better.’ Nora stepped back, ready to leave the room, because if she didn’t, she was going to start crying soon. She never cried in front of people. ‘But for the record, you’re not _disastrous_. You’re amazing, if really stubborn and eating too much unhealthy food. You _are_ girlfriend material, Zari.’ Despite everything, a thin, ironic smile played at her lips. ‘Maybe ask Charlie…’

‘Shut the fuck up,’ Zari rolled her eyes.

‘I’m just saying,’ Nora breathed so softly it was barely audible. The atmosphere began to tense again. Painfully aware of every blink and beat of her heart, she turned round to walk away. She froze in the doorway—but her words were paralysed on her tongue.

She left without another word, and wandered into the cargo bay.

 

They will be okay, though, right? Zari was her friend, and they watched future TV series together, and gossiped, and had midnight snacks. She wasn’t ready to lose her. Oh God. She’s caused enough trouble on the ship with that one kiss—or three—and it hurt more than she wanted to admit. She couldn’t bear it if Zari hated her now.

Relationships fail. _That happens to everyone_ , she told herself.

Often because there was someone else.

Nora just never thought that would be her case too.

With her and Ray Palmer.


	91. i'm confused

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so after that bit of feels and drama, we get back to the regular business, okay, thanks for your attention
> 
> enjoy!

**2019/01/01**

 

 **notbarryallen:** https://ccpn.com/articles/2019/new-year-miracle-bruce-wayne-resurfaced

 **notbarryallen:** HAEV YOU SEEN THIS

 **notbarryallen:** iris sent it to me

**Lancelot: 👀👀👀**

**rayofsunshine:** He really did?

 **monalisa:** oh wow

 **gayforray:** who exactly knows bruce is batman

 **QueenZee:** after Friday… everyone

 **Lancelot:** Except Oliver, probably

 **notbarryallen:** mood

 **notbarryallen:** anyway……

 **QueenZee:** that sounds ominous

 **gayforray:** “sounds” okay

 **notbarryallen:** I saw the insta posts and stories but I haven’t heard from you since midnight

 **notbarryallen:** are you ok

 **gare-bear:** Still hungover af

 **monalisa:** same

 **Lancelot:** It was a ride

 **Trenchcoat:** Oh please, you feel asleep in the middle of never have I ever

 **Lancelot:** I was stoned, shut up

 **MissTimeBureau:** It was adorable.

 **gare-bear:** So was the sandwich we made

 **gayforray:** what are you even

 **MissTimeBureau:** Gary fell asleep on my shoulder.

 **notbarryallen:** speaking of sandwiches

 **gayforray:** I don’t want to talk about it

 **Lancelot:** Nate, automatically assuming we’re talking about That

 **gayforray:** are we

 **rayofsunshine:** We have nothing to be ashamed of.

 **monalisa:** where did nora and zari go

 **monalisa:** cause

 **notbarryallen:** what _did_ happen

 **MiniDarhk:** zari and I broke up

 **Lancelot:** Wait

**notbarryallen: 😮**

**gare-bear:** How

 **monalisa:** omg really

 **Jaxon:** did z and nora BREAK UP

 **QueenZee:** is it even a surprise though

 **Lancelot:** I thought you guys were good

 **QueenZee:** not when one of us is in love with someone else

 **monalisa:** well there _was_ that almost threesome with ray and nate

 **QueenZee:** also I don’t wanna talk about it

 **grunt:** so is witch dating haircut now

 **MiniDarhk:** don’t call me that and also no

 **grunt:** I’m confused

 **notadick:** you’re not the only one

 **trickstergoddess:** so youre officially over eh

 **trickstergoddess:** @QueenZee wanna go on a date with me

**QueenZee: 😒**

**QueenZee:** seriously, Charlie

 **MiniDarhk:** you should do that

 **trickstergoddess:** then you should shag ray properly

 **rayofsunshine:** I’m here too, you know.

 **monalisa:** we all know you would

 **gayforray:** well yeah

 **Lancelot:** I kinda feel like this is my fault

 **MiniDarhk:** smh sara no it’s not

 **Trenchcoat:** You didn’t make them snog each other

 **trickstergoddess:** yeah that was the weed brownies the jax bloke brought

 **Jaxon:** blame it on me will u

 **Jaxon:** winn started spin the bottle

 **QueenZee:** okay, stop

 **QueenZee:** even if that didn’t happen, it was long time coming

 **QueenZee:** we weren’t perfect

 **QueenZee:** now shut up, are we watching the doctor who special or

 **rayofsunshine:** Oh goodness, I totally forgot it aired 😅

 **gayforray:** hoW

 **gayforray:** babe it’s Doctor Who

 **monalisa:** doctor who, I don’t know her

 **MiniDarhk:** funny lmao

 **Trenchcoat:** We woke up on the floor, you’re expecting too much of us @gayforray

 **Lancelot:** I’d think you’d be used to drugs and parties

 **gare-bear:** He is, but doesn’t mean he’s not whining about his head

 **Trenchcoat:** I’m not whining

 **monalisa:** you are

 **monalisa:** we all are, don’t be ashamed, johnny

 **rayofsunshine:** So much happened today…

 **notbarryallen:** mona calling john johnny is a wholeass mood

 **Lancelot:** Wholesome

 **monalisa:** awwe

 **Trenchcoat:** It’s my name

 **MiniDarhk:** but here we call you john

 **grunt:** or trenchcoat

**Trenchcoat: 👀**

**Trenchcoat:** I could use some more of that garlic soup, though

 **MamaWaverider:** Right away, Mr Constantine.

 **gare-bear:** I’ll fetch it for you 🙂

 **Trenchcoat:** Ta, love

 **notbarryallen:** off topic

 **notbarryallen:** does anyone else appreciate the irony of bringing people together and also pulling them apart with this party cause

 **notbarryallen:** I’m sad about z and nora

 **gayforray:** who kept going on about the poly thing here again 👀

 **notbarryallen:** it’s different when it’s REAL

 **monalisa:** nate here being so chill about this thing 👌

 **gayforray:** should I like freak out or

 **rayofsunshine:** I did kiss Nora. In front of you.

 **gayforray:** you know what I said

 **Lancelot:** Feelings are complicated

 **notbarryallen:** amen

**MiniDarhk: 🙏**

**monalisa: 👀**

**MiniDarhk: 🙄**

**MiniDarhk:** you’re so overdramatic

 **gayforray:** this entire chat is overdramatic

 **Jaxon:** we live for the drama

 **Lancelot:** That was established months ago

 **notadick:** I’ve just scrolled through the entire Instagram feed is this even real

 **QueenZee:** what it

 **notadick:** you

 **trickstergoddess:** we know how to party

**gayforray: 😉**

**notadick:** how did you even make Oliver Queen smile

 **Lancelot:** Same way we made everyone do everything

 **Jaxon:** pot brownies

 **gayforray:** The Answer To Everything Which You Will Not Like The Next Day

 **notbarryallen:** and the award for best description goes to nathaniel heywood

 **gayforray:** ugh that’s weird

 **MiniDarhk:**?

 **gayforray:** “Nathaniel”

 **Trenchcoat:** Not to point out the obvious but it’s your name, mate

 **QueenZee:** what’s up with the names today

 **MiniDarhk:** zari adrianna tomaz 👀

 **QueenZee:** why did I ever tell you my middle name

 **trickstergoddess:** wait your middle name is adrianna

 **QueenZee:** sigh

 **MiniDarhk:** my real name is eleanor so like

 **rayofsunshine:** Mine is Carson. Middle name, I mean.

 **grunt:** weird

 **MiniDarhk:** more like funny

 **Lancelot:** I don’t even have one

 **MissTimeBureau:** Well, me neither.

 **gayforray:** you’re ruining the party

 **Trenchcoat:** What’s yours then

 **gayforray:** nope

 **trickstergoddess:** never met anyone with the middle name nope

**monalisa: 😂**

**rayofsunshine:** It’s Abraham.

 **gayforray:** Ray, why

 **MiniDarhk:** no that’s good, keep going

**gayforray: 😒**

**gayforray:** I’m gonna go and pour soup on both your heads

 **Lancelot:** Empty threats

 **Trenchcoat:** Don’t you dare and steal my soup

 **gayforray:** or

 **Trenchcoat:** I’ll charm your socks to be mismatched for all eternity

 **notbarryallen:** now THAT’S a threat

 **Lancelot:** You think mine wasn’t threatening

**notbarryallen: 😅**

**gayforray:** okay fine

 **gayforray:** so when’s the next party

 **QueenZee:** very funny

 **Trenchcoat:** Hmm never

 **MissTimeBureau:** Good idea.

 **Lancelot:** :(

 **Lancelot:** Hey whose birthday is first

 **MamaWaverider:** Mr Heywood’s birthday is on 8 February.

 **gayforray:** that’s a month from now, we gotta do something sooner

 **MiniDarhk:** shame you can’t do girls’ night out

 **MiniDarhk:** cause we do that every friday now

 **monalisa:** heck yes!!!

 **QueenZee:** and another is just three days from now

 **MissTimeBureau:** We go, girls!

**monalisa: 👏**

**Lancelot:** We all about the girl power

 **gayforray:** not fair

 **rayofsunshine:** Why don’t guys have guys’ night out?

 **rayofsunshine:** We should.

 **grunt:** don’t care about it

 **Trenchcoat:** Gary and I have a date on Friday

 **notadick:** that’s why

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we don't actually have canon birthdays for most characters here so i took the liberty of assigning them some. and nate's middle name.
> 
> also, i posted the first chapter of the hero council chat, so don't forget to check it out!


	92. john is on fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i added dates in the other chat so i'm adding them here too now. idk why i didn't do it before... i use the american system cos they're american but note that i get confused by it sometimes, lol
> 
> enjoy!

**2019/01/03**

 

 **trickstergoddess:** ive been reading some articles and trying to discover who i am in this world and

 **trickstergoddess:** being called a she is making me somewhat uncomfortable cos im not a woman im a shapeshifter even if im stuck in this body and you could say im nonbinary

 **trickstergoddess:** so im gonna use they pronouns from now on aight

 **notbarryallen:** of course!!! I support you *non-binary flag heart*

 **notbarryallen:** you even have the unisex name if I can put it like that haha

 **monalisa:** that’s great ❤️

 **Lancelot:** The LGBT spectrum of our group gets wider 👏

 **Lancelot:** Also I’ve heard that Winn and Brainy are together what a nice

 **gayforray:** you’re talking in the other chat aren’t you

 **gayforray:** traitor

 **Lancelot:** Gotta pick up all the news

 **MiniDarhk:** I can get behind that

 **gayforray:** speaking of news

 **MiniDarhk:** snooping again

**notbarryallen: 👀**

**trickstergoddess:** you sound really interested, nate

 **gayforray:** um not like that?

**gayforray: 😅**

**QueenZee:** you’re making a fuss omg

 **MissTimeBureau:** So you’re good now?

 **QueenZee:** we talked about it again tonight

 **QueenZee:** and was I tempted to have a drink right and then

 **grunt:** did you

 **QueenZee:** no, are you kidding me

 **MiniDarhk:** yeah, we’re good, aves

 **notadick:** but not together?

 **QueenZee:** we’re still roommates 🤷

 **QueenZee:** don’t

 **notbarryallen:** don’t what

 **QueenZee:** talk about the vine

 **notadick:** he was already typing it

 **Lancelot:** I love how invested you became in all this @notadick

 **notadick:** when in Rome

 **gare-bear:** How can you not be interested in this

 **MissTimeBureau:** Unsuccessfully.

 **MiniDarhk:** haha true ava

**monalisa: 👍**

**gare-bear:** Speaking of

 **gare-bear:** [ _image attached_ : ishockedmysister.png]

 **rayofsunshine:** You have a sister?

 **gare-bear:** Yeah?

 **Trenchcoat:** Her name’s Calista

 **Lancelot:** You’ve met Gary’s sister 👀

 **gayforray:** wow serious

 **Trenchcoat:** I’ve met her and her dog

 **monalisa:** I haven’t 👀

 **gare-bear:** We have to do lunch sometimes

 **MiniDarhk:** “I can’t believe you’re dating two people gary tell me your secrets did you suddenly become cool or smth I want a boyfriend too dammit” that’s a mood

 **QueenZee:** also not true

 **monalisa:** zari be nice to him

 **QueenZee:** don’t we get to make of him anymore

**Trenchcoat: 😏**

**MiniDarhk:** what does that mean

 **MissTimeBureau:** Don’t make fun of Gary.

 **MissTimeBureau:** Maybe just a little.

 **gare-bear:** Hey, I can read this

 **Lancelot:** Ava 👀

 **MissTimeBureau:** What?

 **gayforray:** you’ve actually got it in you

 **MissTimeBureau:** Don’t underestimate my abilities.

 **QueenZee:** I feel like that should’ve gone with a 😉

**MissTimeBureau: 😉**

**monalisa:** what’s going ON you’re active

 **Lancelot:** I’m going on ;)

 **gayforray:** smooth

 **notbarryallen:** so anyway guess where we are right now

 **rayofsunshine:** You said you were going to Korea, right?

 **notbarryallen:** [thumbs up]

 **notadick:** [ _image attached:_ busan.jpeg]

 **notadick:** ha I beat you to it

 **notbarryallen:** huh

 **QueenZee:** why do I feel like you just grabbed Rick and your stuff and ran across the sea

 **notbarryallen:** cause I did?

 **notadick:** he did

 **notadick:** it was positively cool but I don’t want to do it again

 **gayforray:** not to quote Nora but that’s a mood

**MiniDarhk: 😏**

**rayofsunshine:** That’s amazing!

 **monalisa:** excuse me did you just run 124 miles on water

 **notbarryallen:** yeah

 **notbarryallen:** didn’t count it tho

 **Lancelot:** That reminds me of Barry and co. running to Florida

 **notbarryallen:** haha I know iris told me all about that

 **monalisa:** @notbarryallen you’re basically… jesus

 **notbarryallen:** I can’t _walk_ on water

 **monalisa:** details

 **rayofsunshine:** I’ve just spent over an hour watching blooper videos on YouTube instead of being productive, someone tell me what to do.

 **MiniDarhk:** topic changer master strikes again

 **MiniDarhk:** talk to us more 😉

 **gayforray:** sometimes you gotta procrastinate

 **monalisa:** watch them for another hour 😂

 **monalisa:** I love blooper videos

 **rayofsunshine:** Thanks, Mona.

 **QueenZee:** come play Zelda with me if you want

 **rayofsunshine:** That doesn’t exactly count as being productive.

 **Trenchcoat:** Go shag your boyfriend or something then

 **grunt:** combat practice

 **gayforray:** why is Mick the only reasonable one here

 **grunt:** I’m tired of your shit

 **Lancelot:** Don’t say you didn’t enjoy the party

 **MissTimeBureau:** He didn’t get to burn the tree, remember?

 **grunt:** yeah

 **grunt:** but I did enjoy the party

 **gayforray:** ha win

 **grunt:** whatever, pretty

 **monalisa:** you know when mick calls you pretty and haircut

 **monalisa:** that makes your ship name “pretty haircut”

 **monalisa:** @gayforray @rayofsunshine

 **notbarryallen:** that’s deep

 **gayforray:** :o

 **rayofsunshine:** You’re right, haha.

 **gayforray:** well, we do have pretty haircuts ;)

**Lancelot: 🙄**

**QueenZee: 🤣**

**rayofsunshine:** On another note, I’ve also been thinking about getting another tattoo.

**MiniDarhk: 👀**

**gayforray: 👀**

**Lancelot: 👀**

**trickstergoddess: 👀**

**trickstergoddess:** well make a punk out of you yet

 **notbarryallen:** the funniest thing is that nate didn’t know

 **gayforray:** yeAH

 **rayofsunshine:** You know now!

 **Lancelot:** So it’s true that _no one_ stops at one

 **notadick:** what motive

 **rayofsunshine:** Science related, engineering to be precise.

 **notbarryallen:** cool

**gayforray: 😍**

**grunt:** nerd stuff

 **MiniDarhk:** maybe you should get a couple tattoo

 **gayforray:** okay nope I’m not doing that

 **Trenchcoat:** His skin would probably turn to steel

 **gayforray:** ^^

 **Trenchcoat:** Also what if you break up

 **rayofsunshine:** We won’t.

 **gayforray:** <3

 **gayforray:** Ray and I are forever

 **MissTimeBureau:** You seem sure of that.

 **QueenZee:** have you _seen_ them

 **grunt:** they’re the sickening totally married couple

 **gayforray:** sdflcvbnmod

 **Lancelot:** Well, Aves, I’m pretty sure you and I are forever too <3

 **MissTimeBureau:** <3

 **MissTimeBureau:** I hope so.

 **MissTimeBureau:** I just love you so much.

 **Lancelot:** I love you too <3

 **MiniDarhk:** forgive me, I was wrong, you two should get a couple tattoo

 **Lancelot:** Aves 👀

 **MissTimeBureau:** As much as I love you, no.

**Lancelot: 😞**

**notbarryallen:** you should get a group one lol

 **notbarryallen:** I’m pretty sure gideon could do that

 **MamaWaverider:** Indeed.

 **QueenZee:** NO

 **trickstergoddess:** I agree, thats a no

 **Trenchcoat:** Are you telling me we’ve got a free tattoo parlour on the ship

 **MamaWaverider:** I suppose I am, Mr Constantine.

 **Trenchcoat:** You’ve got to be shitting me

 **monalisa:** you want to get one right now 👀

 **Trenchcoat:** Maybe

 **Lancelot:** John is on fire

 **grunt:** really

 **Lancelot:** No

 **Trenchcoat:** Don’t be too excited, yeah

 **grunt:** :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "i’ve just spent over an hour watching blooper videos on youtube instead of being productive" –– me, right before i wrote that sentence into this chapter


	93. let's just call us arrowverse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i decided that i'll post the other chat whenever i've got a chapter that fits into the continuity of this one (because they do; they reference each other), and on the days i post it, i won't post this one – to avoid confusion. the dates i'll add might clear it a bit. but i'll still be posting this one more often ;)

**2019/01/05**

 

 **notbarryallen:** what’s your opinion on fortnite

 **QueenZee:** why

 **notbarryallen:** trying to prove a point

 **gayforray:** I played it once but it’s sort of meh

 **Lancelot:** It’s a time eater and ruins children, anything else

 **QueenZee:** I see you’re reading up

 **QueenZee:** it’s completely forgotten by 2020 and I guess that says it all

 **monalisa:** I actually kinda like it…?

 **gare-bear:** Yeah, we play at work sometimes

 **MissTimeBureau:** You do what now?

 **monalisa:** you didn’t hear that all right

 **MissTimeBureau:** …

 **MiniDarhk:** I used to play it too when I was 16

 **notbarryallen:** ok thanks

 **MiniDarhk:** no, really why are you asking

 **notadick:** that’s complicated

 **QueenZee:** @MiniDarhk the things I find out now 👀

 **MiniDarhk:** there are only as many things a cult allows you to do

 **Trenchcoat:** <https://people.com/royals/prince-harry-fortnite-controversy/>

**Trenchcoat:** For the first time in my life I agree with something the crown says

 **gare-bear:** You KNOW I love the game, John

 **monalisa:** let him have this darling

 **Lancelot:** Darling 👀

 **Lancelot:** Also I agree with Harry on this one

 **gayforray:** wait there are 8-year-olds playing it

 **notbarryallen:** ok ok I see I’ve sparked a convo I didn’t mean to have

 **notbarryallen:** now what’s that about mona calling gary darling

 **Trenchcoat:** None of your business, kid

 **monalisa:** are we not allowed to have pet names omg 🙄

 **gayforray:** that reminds me

 **QueenZee:** don’t say it

 **gayforray:** another pet names battle 👀

 **QueenZee:** he said it

 **Lancelot:** Dearest @MissTimeBureau, care to do this and piss Zari off again

 **MissTimeBureau:** Honey, she’s been through some tough times right now.

 **MiniDarhk:** I… don’t even have words

 **QueenZee:** haha…

 **notbarryallen:** ok that’s not good

 **QueenZee:** so you wanna play huh

 **QueenZee:** @trickstergoddess buttercup what do you say, do we kick their asses in text

 **rayofsunshine:** I did not see that coming

 **trickstergoddess:** did you really just say that

 **gayforray:** THEY did not see that coming 👀

 **MiniDarhk:** I’m wheezing

 **notadick:** how is this a conversation between adults

 **Lancelot:** Oh right you haven’t been here for the first one

 **notadick:** it sounds very passive aggressive if you ask me

 **QueenZee:** they started it, I’m just firing back

 **trickstergoddess:** I approve ;)

 **QueenZee:** don’t get any ideas though

 **trickstergoddess:** now what ideas might that be

**QueenZee: 🙄**

**notbarryallen:** @notadick no babe this is fun

 **notadick:** haha hilarious

 **MissTimeBureau:** @QueenZee I’m sorry…

 **gayforray:** don’t be sorry for being awesome 😉

 **Lancelot:** I hate to be the bearer of bad news but we’ve got a bones alert, my loves

 **rayofsunshine:** At what point did our missions, our job, become bad news?

 **gayforray:** we’re too far gone oh god

 **Jaxon:** ur all like those phone addicts smh

 **MiniDarhk:** hey

 **MiniDarhk:** how is no one commenting on the “my loves” thing

 **grunt:** I am now

 **grunt:** weird

 **notbarryallen:** not to poke but

 **notbarryallen:** you’re reading this the whole time @Jaxon

 **Jaxon:** ok fine but im here just for the lols not to procrastinate

 **QueenZee:** so what are we dealing with, Sara?

 **Trenchcoat:** Everything points to a Banshee

 **MissTimeBureau:** Since when are you Sara?

**monalisa: 😂**

**Lancelot:** Maybe I borrowed his phone

 **gayforray:** no you didn’t

 **Trenchcoat:** No she didn’t

 **trickstergoddess:** its definitely a banshee alright

 **trickstergoddess:** in 2081 madrid

 **notbarryallen:** yikes future

 **MiniDarhk:** this is future even for us so I feel you

 **notadick:** what’s wrong with the future

 **Lancelot:** Spoilers

 **QueenZee:** yeah, it’s dangerous

 **MissTimeBureau:** It’s technically not future for me 😂

 **rayofsunshine:** But you don’t remember any of that, so it still somewhat is…

 **Lancelot:** Also we don’t know what clothes to wear

 **MamaWaverider:** I can help with that.

 **gayforray:** nice

 **gayforray:** on another note, b99 comes back next week

 **gare-bear:** I know!!! I’m so excited!!!

 **rayofsunshine:** Nice!!!

 **monalisa:** you mean noice 😉

 **Lancelot:** Toit

 **Lancelot:** We gonna do group watches again?

 **rayofsunshine:** Of course!

 **notbarryallen:** cisco would be proud of you

 **QueenZee:** he is

 **notadick:** don’t tell me, the party led to more text chains

 **QueenZee:** ding ding

 **monalisa:** and I’m in them too now

 **monalisa:** it’s a b99 squad text chain wide

 **gayforray:** wider

 **notbarryallen:** who’s the boyle of… the group

 **Lancelot:** Let’s just call us Arrowverse

**gare-bear: 😂😂😂**

**QueenZee:** seriously

 **Lancelot:** We’re all here because of Oliver anyway

 **gayforray:** we’re not a TV show, Sara, we’ve talked about this

 **Lancelot:** I’m just saying, we should have a name other than “heroes” or whatever

 **rayofsunshine:** Arrowverse, I like it.

 **MiniDarhk:** so you’re just rolling with this… okay…

 **MiniDarhk:** to answer your question @notbarryallen, literally _no one_ is like boyle

**notbarryallen: 😅**

**MiniDarhk:** we should also head out

 **Lancelot:** Good call

 **gayforray:** Viva la España

 **gayforray:** [ _image attached_ : madrid81.jpeg]

 **notbarryallen:** weren’t you against spoilers

 **gayforray:** it’s not _that_ different in this city ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **QueenZee:** finally a place where our tech doesn’t look out of place

 **Trenchcoat:** Nice wording

 **Lancelot:** It does

 **Lancelot:** It’s too old

 **notadick:** that sounds wild

 **notadick:** also why are you still texting

 **rayofsunshine:** We split up.

 **QueenZee:** [ _image attached_ : goodoldbteam.jpeg]

 **notbarryallen:** so you’re stuck with charlie again 👀

 **QueenZee:** shut up, West

 **trickstergoddess:** come on, well have fun together

 **MiniDarhk:** ahem

 **MiniDarhk:** ~~yeah I know~~

 **gayforray:** you get what you get

 **MiniDarhk:** huh what

 **Trenchcoat:** Focus, will you, there’s a Banshee on the loose and people are panicking

 **notbarryallen:** they can sense someone dying or something, right

 **Trenchcoat:** They can also talk to the dead and announce when someone is about to die, but mostly they just yell a lot and it’s bloody annoying

 **Lancelot:** And we’ve just found two in the Royal Palace, great

 **MiniDarhk:** there’s more than one

 **rayofsunshine:** Apparently. Gideon did not mention that.

 **MamaWaverider:** Blame it on me…

 **Trenchcoat:** That usually happens when someone important dies

 **MamaWaverider:** Indeed. There are reports of the King’s death on 18 March 2081, less than 24 hours from now.

 **QueenZee:** so is the king not supposed to die

 **QueenZee:** or what’s the problem

 **MamaWaverider:** In the original timeline, Juan Carlos III was not supposed to abdicate until 2097, which is the year Spain becomes a republic after a series of violent protests and another civil war.

 **Lancelot:** John, Zari, Charlie, you’re on this

 **QueenZee:** then why did you send us to do recon

 **Lancelot:** Not right _now_

 **notbarryallen:** the procrastinating spirit strikes again

 **Lancelot:** We still gotta find out who wants to kill the king…

 **grunt:** and maybe steal some exhibits

 **rayofsunshine:** Mick, no.

 **grunt:** who says I already haven’t

 **Lancelot:** Put it back, Mick

 **grunt:** fine…

 **rayofsunshine:** Do you want me to check on him?

 **grunt:** you’re not my babysitter, haircut

 **Lancelot:** Join me upstairs, Ray

 **Trenchcoat:** Any sight of the Banshees yet

 **Lancelot:** No

 **Lancelot:** No, wait, I can hear them

 **Lancelot:** Laters

 **QueenZee:** what are _we_ supposed to do

 **QueenZee:** hello?

 **notbarryallen:** they left you :(

 **Trenchcoat:** Let’s taste some future beer

 **grunt:** and I’m stuck in a fucking museum

 **Trenchcoat:** Do you _want to_ have a beer with me

 **grunt:** never

 **Trenchcoat:** Didn’t think so

 **Lancelot:** Boys

 **notbarryallen:** that was soon


	94. it's 2 a.m.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy!

**2019/01/07**

 

 **gayforray:** holding our breath

 **notbarryallen:** what

 **gayforray:** Mick asked what we were doing, and we’re holding our breath and therefore can’t talk

 **grunt:** why

 **notadick:** yeah why

 **Lancelot:** We’re trying to see who can hold their breath the longest

 **grunt:** why

 **gayforray:** out of curiosity

 **gare-bear:** I want in too!

 **Trenchcoat:** Love, you can’t hold your breath long

**gare-bear: 😥**

**Lancelot:** And John knows ;)

 **notbarryallen:** how long is it now

 **rayofsunshine:** 1:46

 **grunt:** why is everyone doing it

 **MiniDarhk:** boredom

 **notbarryallen:** and who’s out 👀

 **QueenZee:** me

 **QueenZee:** gave up at 1:22

 **MissTimeBureau:** It’s 2 a.m.

 **notbarryallen:** it’s 4 pm here haha

 **Lancelot:** Why are you still up, Aves?

 **MissTimeBureau:** Work.

 **gayforray:** um why exactly aren’t you in DC right now @Lancelot

 **Lancelot:** Because you’re incapable of cleaning the ship up like normal people and I had to step in and do it for you and then fell asleep until you woke me up with your fucking yelling to go see who’s better at holding their breath, Nate

 **gayforray:** sheesh sorry

 **grunt:** you woke me up too

 **MissTimeBureau:** I feel like I should go there and punish someone.

**Lancelot: 👀**

**MissTimeBureau: 😏**

**MiniDarhk:** ugh I hate that I _got that_

 **MiniDarhk:** I’m too tired for this

 **notbarryallen:** then why don’t you go to sleep

 **rayofsunshine:** We’re still holding our breath.

 **Lancelot:** It’s down to Ray, Nate, and me

 **QueenZee:** and Ray’s not looking good

 **QueenZee:** [ _image attached_ : red.jpeg]

**notbarryallen: 😂**

**rayofsunshine:** Okay, I’m out.

 **gayforray:** let’s see who’s the king @Lancelot

 **Lancelot:** Me, clearly

 **MissTimeBureau:** I believe in you.

 **grunt:** you’re weird

 **rayofsunshine:** I believe in you @gayforray

**gayforray: 👍**

**gayforray:** okay maybe it’s 👎

 **notbarryallen:** lol

 **QueenZee:** I’m gonna let it pass this time

 **Lancelot:** Ha I won and you’re all LOSERS

 **rayofsunshine:** That’s literally the definition of winning.

 **QueenZee:** anyway who feels like a snack

 **MiniDarhk:** zari, always

 **grunt:** did you say snack

 **gayforray:** more like dinner #3

 **Trenchcoat:** I approve

 **gare-bear:** Me, I want a snack

 **Trenchcoat:** Then come here and get it

 **rayofsunshine:** So, Wally, what are you up to now?

 **notbarryallen:** traveling the country and breathing in the scent of undisturbed nature

 **notbarryallen:** also fun in the tent with my bf

 **notadick:** and by fun he means lying wrapped in five blankets to keep ourselves from freezing to death

 **notbarryallen:** I wouldn’t freeze to death, I’ve got speedster metabolism

 **notadick:** but I WOULD

 **notbarryallen:** dw I’ll always keep you warm

 **gayforray:** aww

 **Lancelot:** @MissTimeBureau we should go on a tent adventure sometimes

 **MissTimeBureau:** We did.

 **Lancelot:** But that was on a mission and that doesn’t cunt, duh

 **Lancelot:** COUNT ahem

**MiniDarhk: 😂**

**Trenchcoat:** That’s a very interesting typo

 **notbarryallen:** lol

 **MissTimeBureau:** If you say so.

 **MissTimeBureau:** I’m not going on a “tent adventure” in January, though.

 **Lancelot:** Hello, we literally have a time ship

 **Lancelot:** Anyway, I’m coming home and we can talk about it ;)

 **MissTimeBureau:** I have to congratulate you on being the best breath-holder on the ship.

 **MissTimeBureau:** <3

 **notbarryallen:** how long did you last

 **Lancelot:** 3:33

 **notbarryallen:** ooh nice

 **QueenZee:** that’s like, not humanly possible

 **rayofsunshine:** There are people who can hold their breath for ten minutes, Z.

 **QueenZee:** but I haven’t met them have I

 **notbarryallen:** anyway enjoy dinner #3

 **gayforray:** where are you going

 **MiniDarhk:** we’re the ones who aren’t supposed to be here

 **notbarryallen:** I’m not going anywhere…

 **Lancelot:** You made it sound like you did

 **notbarryallen:** I was

 **notbarryallen:** never mind

 **MiniDarhk:** lol

 **grunt:** [ _image attached_ : sandwiches.jpeg]

 **MissTimeBureau:** Did you just send a picture of your food?

 **grunt:** yeah

 **notadick:** unexpected

 **gayforray:** only Mick can eat four sandwiches at 2 a.m.

 **QueenZee:** hey

 **gayforray:** Mick and Zari

 **notadick:** is that a compliment

 **MiniDarhk:** for her it is

 **trickstergoddess:** you look gorgeous gobbling down that bread zee

 **QueenZee:** asdfghjkl

 **notbarryallen:** so ‘tis really happening huh

 **QueenZee:** don’t know what you’re talking about

 **MiniDarhk:** [ _image attached_ : blush.jpeg]

 **QueenZee:** NORA

 **MiniDarhk:** [ _image attached_ : blusher.jpeg]

 **QueenZee:** ELEANOR

**gayforray: 😂**

**notbarryallen:** the title though

 **MiniDarhk:** do you wanna see the blushiest

 **rayofsunshine:** We can see it IRL.

 **notbarryallen:** but I can’t 👏🏾

 **Lancelot:** Neither can we

**QueenZee: 🖕**

**MiniDarhk:** [ _image attached_ : blushiest.jpeg]

 **notbarryallen:** you’re adorable 😙

 **Lancelot:** I agree

 **trickstergoddess:** absolutely

 **QueenZee:** go to hell

 **notbarryallen:** I’m glad you’re ok, you two

 **MiniDarhk:** who, zee and I

 **notbarryallen:** yeah

 **QueenZee:** no need to make this even more awkward

 **notbarryallen:** sorry

 **notbarryallen:** have a picture of rick covered in snow [ _image attached_ : snow.jpeg]

 **notadick:** thanks

 **Lancelot:** Is it “embarrass your SOs” time

 **MissTimeBureau:** NO.

 **gayforray:** [ _image attached_ : sleepyray.jpeg]

**QueenZee: 😂**

**rayofsunshine:** [ _image attached_ : natesmelon.jpeg]

 **gayforray:** when did I make a face like that

 **rayofsunshine:** Three days ago.

 **MiniDarhk:** you’re cute

 **gayforray:** thanks but this is your fault

 **MiniDarhk:** hey, I am the wicked witch, remember

 **Lancelot:** I love this

 **Lancelot:** [ _image attached_ : ava324.jpeg]

 **MissTimeBureau:** I love you but WHY.

 **notbarryallen:** come on just send a goofy sara photo

 **Lancelot:** I beg your pardon

 **notadick:** [ _image attached_ : breakfast_ish.jpeg]

 **notbarryallen:** heyyy not fair

 **notadick:** totally fair, babe

 **gayforray:** what are you even doing

 **notbarryallen:** trying to make fire in snow with my speed to cook breakfast, obviously

 **grunt:** want some tips

 **notbarryallen:** actually yeah thanks

 **rayofsunshine:** How is Mick so nice lately?

 **grunt:** I’m not

 **MissTimeBureau:** [ _image attached_ : sara208.jpeg]

 **Lancelot:** That’s it, I’m going to sleep

 **Lancelot:** And so should you

 **gayforray:** I hate it when mom’s right


	95. how are we adults again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was inspired by personal experience again: not being able to get eminem's venom theme song out of my head for two days. (if you haven't watched venom, you definitely should. it's really really good. just saying.) and then it spiralled out of my control...
> 
> enjoy!

**2019/01/08**

 

 **gayforray:** I can’t get rid of the venom song ughhhh

 **gayforray:** give me another song someone

 **MiniDarhk:** thanks nate, now it’s in my head too

 **QueenZee:** did you rewatch it

 **Lancelot:** Why are we here at 1 a.m. again

 **Trenchcoat:** Ask Ray

 **gayforray:** I specifically ask for _songs_ and

 **notbarryallen:** mood

 **gayforray:** 1) yes, we rewatched it with Ray, 2) I can’t sleep, 3) Ray _is_ asleep

 **Lancelot:** It’s the final countdown

 **gayforray:** _thanks_

 **Trenchcoat:** Why that song

 **Lancelot:** It’s 1 a.m., don’t ask me

 **MissTimeBureau:** Are you texting from the bathroom?

 **Lancelot:** Yeah?

 **Trenchcoat:** Are you naked right now

 **Lancelot:** JOHN

 **gayforray:** are you

 **Lancelot:** Not anymore

 **notbarryallen:** one partner or two I see nothing has changed

**monalisa: 😂**

**MissTimeBureau:** …

 **MissTimeBureau:** Come to bed, Sara.

 **Lancelot:** Why is there so much pressure on me

 **QueenZee:** just 👏 go 👏 to 👏 bed 👏

 **gayforray:** is that a way to talk to your captain

**notbarryallen: 😂**

**Lancelot:** Thanks

 **gayforray:** btw the song is back

 **notbarryallen:** it’s a good song though

 **gayforray:** not when it’s been in your head nonstop for two hours

 **monalisa:** wait did you mention venom 👀

 **gare-bear:** We are a fan

 **MiniDarhk:** clap clap

**gayforray: 😂**

**monalisa:** the whole movie was so cute

 **Lancelot:** We all have a different view of what’s cute…

 **notbarryallen:** mona loves the creatures ok

 **monalisa:** yeah

 **Trenchcoat:** She made us watch it three times

 **gare-bear:** I don’t mind 😍

 **gayforray:** I bet you also saw The Shape of Water like six times

 **monalisa:** no

 **monalisa:** only five

 **MissTimeBureau:** Why does that not surprise me?

 **MiniDarhk:** head of creature upkeep gotta love the monsters

 **monalisa:** they’re not _monsters_

 **trickstergoddess:** yeah excuse you were not monsters

 **MissTimeBureau:** All things aside, Venom is an alien. We know aliens.

 **notadick:** are you talking about a movie at 1 am

 **notadick:** why

 **Lancelot:** That’s literally what I asked five mins ago

 **notbarryallen:** haven’t you learned anything, babe

 **notadick:** why do I bother

 **notadick:** so, Eddie/Venom, thoughts

 **QueenZee:** not what I expected

 **MiniDarhk:** “god they’re stupid, why am I here, but hey, I guess this is my life now, let’s talk about monster fuckers” – rick, probably

 **notadick:** …

 **Lancelot:** It’s weird but I can see it

 **gayforray:** oh please, is anything weird after what we’ve seen

 **monalisa:** ^^

 **monalisa:** it’s true love

 **gare-bear:** Absolutely

 **Trenchcoat:** You do you

 **notbarryallen:** wanna read some tentacle porn

 **MissTimeBureau:** Ew, no.

 **notadick:** Wally???

 **notbarryallen:** what, you know I read fanfics

 **MiniDarhk:** boyfriend is SHOOK

 **notbarryallen:** haha

 **monalisa:** gimme

 **monalisa:** grabby hands

 **Trenchcoat:** So you’re into that, aren’t you, love

**monalisa: 😏**

**QueenZee:** this is weird

 **QueenZee:** how are we adults again

 **MiniDarhk:** I’m just here to make fun of it

 **Lancelot:** I’m not even commenting on that

 **notbarryallen:** @monalisa I’ll dm you

**monalisa: 😘**

**gayforray:** what the hell, send me the link

 **Trenchcoat:** Things are getting nasty here

 **MiniDarhk:** only cause ray isn’t here hehe

 **gayforray:** yup, he’d be scandalized

 **gayforray:** but what he doesn’t know…

 **trickstergoddess:** none of you had done that though

**monalisa: 👀**

**trickstergoddess:** ive told ya I had to do things to survive in that hellhole

 **trickstergoddess:** or maybe that was just mick

 **gayforray:** definitely Mick

 **MiniDarhk:** @grunt

 **grunt:** who dares to wake me up

 **Lancelot:** This is a conversation you might like to see

**notbarryallen: 😉**

**grunt:** if you’re asking if I’d fuck an alien then yes, I’d fuck an alien

 **notadick:** not what we wanted to know

 **QueenZee:** also you did fuck an alien

 **MissTimeBureau:** Garima…

 **grunt:** ahh, garima

 **trickstergoddess:** alright maybe this is fun for you but its not for me

 **trickstergoddess:** its rather disrespectful

 **gayforray:** OH I’m sorry, Charlie

 **notbarryallen:** yeah I didn’t mean it in that way

 **trickstergoddess:** thanks

 **Lancelot:** Who wants to change the topic

 **notbarryallen:** sara’s talking to bruce fucking wayne on her leaders chat and WE’RE NOT INVITED

 **gayforray: 😮**  rude

 **Lancelot:** Seriously

 **Lancelot:** How do you even _know that_

 **QueenZee:** Barry

 **notbarryallen:** yup

 **monalisa:** excuse me did you say bruce wayne 👀

 **Trenchcoat:** Did you mention, you know

 **Lancelot:** I didn’t know you slept with Oliver on Lian Yu 👀

**gayforray: 👀**

**gayforray:** how the turns have tabled

**MiniDarhk: 😂**

**gayforray:** lmao sorry I’m tired

 **gare-bear:** John did what now

 **monalisa:** oliver queen???

 **monalisa:** hot damn, johnny

 **Trenchcoat:** Sod you @Lancelot

 **Trenchcoat:** I did, so what

 **Lancelot:** Nothing

 **Lancelot:** But as Barry so eloquently put it, we’ve got a love rectangle going on

 **MissTimeBureau:** You mean sex rectangle.

 **monalisa:** who

 **gayforray:** Sara, John, Bruce and Oliver

 **MiniDarhk:** you keep tabs, wow

 **notadick:** I see this got none the wiser

 **grunt:** should we talk about the weather

 **QueenZee:** the sky outside is very green with possibility of time storms and extreme temperatures

**Lancelot: 👌**

**notbarryallen:** accurate

 **notbarryallen:** also do you have snow in the us

 **notbarryallen:** cause we do

 **gayforray:** not anymore :(

 **MiniDarhk:** are we really talking about the weather now

 **grunt:** hmm

 **MissTimeBureau:** Finally a civil conversation.

 **QueenZee:** at least you forgot about the song @gayforray

 **gayforray:** thanks for REMINDING ME

 **QueenZee:** sorry

 **MiniDarhk:** you did that on purpose

**QueenZee: 😏**

**gayforray:** what did I do to you

 **Trenchcoat:** Steal her girlfriend

 **gayforray:** not nice

 **gayforray:** not true

 **MiniDarhk:** @Trenchcoat 🔪

 **Lancelot:** Let’s not kill each other on this fine night

 **MiniDarhk:** and I was really looking forward to eating his liver

 **grunt:** shut up about the movie already

 **QueenZee:** Mick’s right

 **gayforray:** but he also got the reference 👀


	96. this is serious

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i almost forgot to post this cos i was away all day and didn't realise i didn't do it in the afternoon... but i remembered and that's what counts, lol. (i went to see bohemian rhapsody for the second time and the new robin hood for the first time.) (yes, in one day, don't judge me.)
> 
> this chapter kinda references chapter 3 of the spin-off. enjoy!

**2019/01/10**

 

 **gayforray:** RAY GOT HIS TATTOO FROM GIDEON 😍

 **gayforray:** [ _image attached_ : backpiece.jpeg]

 **QueenZee:** he really did it, wow

 **notbarryallen:** nice

 **rayofsunshine:** I know, right?

 **Lancelot:** The art is so perfect, omg

 **MamaWaverider:** I know.

 **MiniDarhk:** no need to be so smug

 **Lancelot:** How long did it take

 **rayofsunshine:** Barely five minutes.

 **Trenchcoat:** An ink that big?

 **rayofsunshine:** Let’s not forget she regrew Snart’s hand in a minute.

 **grunt:** yeah

 **grunt:** it’s cool, haircut

 **rayofsunshine:** Thanks!

 **trickstergoddess:** I love it 😍

 **Lancelot:** I’m just gonna go ahead and send that to the others

 **gayforray:** imagine Oliver’s shock

**monalisa: 😂**

**Lancelot:** Don’t have to

 **Lancelot:** [ _image attached_ : oliversshock.png]

 **MiniDarhk:** now 😂 is appropriate

**monalisa: 😂**

**notbarryallen:** to think we didn’t use emojis at all in the beginning

 **notbarryallen:** we gone crazy

 **MiniDarhk:** should I say bahahaha or

 **QueenZee:** please don’t

**notadick: 😂😂😂**

**MissTimeBureau:** Ladies and gentlemen, another pointless conversation about nothing.

 **Lancelot:** How’s work, babe

 **MissTimeBureau:** Fulfiling.

 **gare-bear:** I’m eating lunch with Mona right now, so work’s amazing ❤️

 **gayforray:** and I should probably get back there

 **gare-bear:** Lunch break doesn’t end for another twelve minutes

 **gayforray:** okay that’s cool then

 **MissTimeBureau:** I’m not even concerned at this point…

 **Lancelot:** You’re learning ;)

 **Lancelot:** And speaking of Oliver

**gayforray: 👀**

**Lancelot:** You won’t believe this but

 **Lancelot:** He and Bruce got drunk-married in Vegas in 2005

 **MiniDarhk:** seriously 👀

**rayofsunshine: 😮😮😮**

**QueenZee:** WHAT

 **notbarryallen:** are they still legally married or

 **Lancelot:** No, obviously

 **Lancelot:** But it definitely made my day

 **gayforray:** did he just tell you?

 **Lancelot:** Two days ago

 **Lancelot:** And do you think he’d ever _tell me_? Come on, it’s Oliver

 **Lancelot:** Bruce said it 😁

 **MiniDarhk:** excuse me, you waited two days to tell us

 **QueenZee:** ^^

 **gayforray:** how dare you

 **Lancelot:** You’re awful

 **MissTimeBureau:** Oliver and Bruce Wayne getting married? How did it stay out of the news???

 **rayofsunshine:** Astounding.

 **MamaWaverider:** Actually, it did not stay out of the news. Many a tabloid wrote articles about it, but after a press conference and several interviews, the whole affair was swept under the carpet, making it look like a hoax, and people, amazingly, seemed to have forgotten.

 **gayforray:** that makes sense

 **monalisa:** how do people just forget about that though???

 **Lancelot:** To be fair, _we_ didn’t know

 **Lancelot:** And I was pretty close to Oliver in 2005

 **QueenZee:** they must’ve been what, 21

 **rayofsunshine:** Do you think it was a birthday or something, that made them go to Vegas?

 **MissTimeBureau:** That sounds about right…

 **gayforray:** Gideon, when was it?

 **MamaWaverider:** Saturday 21st of May.

 **Lancelot:** Oliver’s birthday is May 16

 **Lancelot:** Bruce is a year older than him

 **gayforray:** it makeS SENSE

 **monalisa:** I’m just, processing this

 **grunt:** so the rich brats got married, so what

 **MiniDarhk:** mick, it’s juicy news

 **MiniDarhk:** we love that

**monalisa: 🖐️**

**MiniDarhk: 🖐️**

**rayofsunshine:** It’s actually old news…

 **MiniDarhk:** shut up, palmer

 **Trenchcoat:** Well, I’m not surprised by any of that

 **monalisa:** you shut up too

 **monalisa:** it’s not surprising, it’s MINDBLOWING

 **gare-bear:** ^^

 **Trenchcoat:** Not really

 **QueenZee:** John, listen to your SOs

 **gare-bear:** Are we SOs now???

**gare-bear: 👀**

**notbarryallen:** no, you’re parasites who feed off of his magic

**monalisa: 😂**

**gare-bear: 🐍**

**MiniDarhk:** why snake

 **gare-bear:** Like Venom? Parasite?

 **gayforray:** APOLOGIZE

 **Lancelot:** Not again

 **Trenchcoat:** I don’t do SOs

 **Trenchcoat:** Or marriage

 **Trenchcoat:** Boyfriend/girlfriend is all you can get with me, alright

 **monalisa:** <3

 **gare-bear:** <3

 **notbarryallen:** they love you so don’t fuck it up @Trenchcoat

 **notadick:** or he’ll come running and speed-punch you

 **Trenchcoat:** Noted

 **Lancelot:** Not just Mick, everyone’s been nice lately

 **Trenchcoat:** Do _you_ want mismatched socks for all eternity, Sara

 **Lancelot:** Joke’s on you, I only wear unicolor slip-ons

 **gayforray:** still socks

 **Trenchcoat:** Precisely

 **Lancelot:** Well sorry for calling you nice

 **monalisa:** no _don’t_ apologize for that

 **QueenZee:** aren’t you supposed to be on his side

 **monalisa:** john’s really nice around people he cares about and he shouldn’t be ashamed of that

**Trenchcoat: 🙄**

**gare-bear:** We’ll shower you with LOVE

 **monalisa:** possibly in the shower 😉

 **MiniDarhk:** what shower can fit three people

 **Trenchcoat:** The Waverider bath

 **gayforray:** true

 **QueenZee:** ugh

 **trickstergoddess:** how do _you_ know that nate

 **gayforray:** eh…

 **gayforray:** theoretically

 **Lancelot:** Right

 **gayforray:** anyway lunch’s over and I’m coming back to the bureau, see you here later

 **MiniDarhk:** we’re literally a room away

 **QueenZee:** like that ever made a difference

 **rayofsunshine:** Bye for now <3

 **gayforray:** <3

 **gayforray:** enjoy dishes time

 **rayofsunshine:** I will!

 **grunt:** how

 **Trenchcoat:** He’s Ray Palmer, what do you want

 **QueenZee:** yup, he really likes chores

 **MiniDarhk:** can I join you

 **MiniDarhk:** I want to talk

 **rayofsunshine:** Sure!

**Lancelot: 👀**

**notbarryallen: 👀**

**QueenZee:** are you doing what I think you’re doing

 **MiniDarhk:** jeez I just want to _talk_

 **monalisa:** about 👀

 **MiniDarhk:** stop,

 **MiniDarhk:** just stop

 **MiniDarhk:** this is serious

 **gare-bear:** Did someone die

 **QueenZee:** back off, Gary

 **MiniDarhk:** no, no one died, god

 **notbarryallen:** I live for zari being supportive of nora and still being her best friend, honestly

 **Lancelot:** Yeah

 **QueenZee:** am I supposed to hate her just cause our relationship failed, or

 **gayforray:** no, of course not

 **gayforray:** @rayofsunshine @MiniDarhk <3

 **MiniDarhk:** thanks

 **monalisa:** does this mean what I think it means

 **notadick:** just leave them alone

 **notbarryallen:** ^^

 **notbarryallen:** and send updates


	97. [interlude] dishes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so here's the Real Talk™ at last! enjoy!
> 
> (also in the flash, the legends brought the book mona had brought nora to team flash (also lol @ barry AND mick for _reading it_ ), meaning someone must've got it from nora... so did she maybe get on board? or did ray visit her again and take it? or did mona get on board? either way, something _happened_ and that whole thing sounds like it was taken from this fic 👀)

Ray was scrubbing a blue plate clean when she entered the galley. She cleared her throat, and he turned to her, a big goofy grin plastered on his face as if he was truly _enjoying_ washing the others’ dishes. Or maybe—was it because he saw _her_?

‘I want to talk to you,’ she stated. He already knew.

‘What about?’ he asked, still washing the plate with his soapy hands. He knew that too.

She didn’t really know how to begin, though. _God_ , why did this have to be so difficult?

Quietly, she walked over to the sink. She offered him a mild smile. ‘Just—let me help you with this.’ She picked up a bowl that she remembered was Nate’s for the day, and Ray handed her a sponge. Their fingers brushed. The spot tingled.

They did almost all of the dishes in comfortable silence that was occasionally filled with Ray humming one song or another. Nora didn’t know how many minutes passed—five, twenty?

Then she took a deep breath. ‘So it took longer than a minute,’ she scoffed at herself. Ten days. Ten days she’s been acting like nothing was going on and sitting with them at meal times and watching new episodes of TV shows, when really she’s been walking on tiptoes and having a mental battle with herself and her weird, confused emotions.

‘It’s okay, Nora,’ he kept smiling, ‘take your time figuring things out. My head is quite the mess too, to be honest. That night, well—’

‘I like you,’ she blurted, because it was now or never. Then she rephrased her words, because it wasn’t true. ‘No—I’m in _love_ with you.’ Her stomach fluttered. ‘I was so scared, Ray, because I didn’t know what to do about any of that—so I just locked it away and joked around. But that’s the truth. I know you love Nate with all of your stupidly kind heart, and I know that I shouldn’t get in the middle of that, even if we—whatever we did that night—but I needed to say it.’

Ray took off his yellow rubber gloves and gently placed his hands on Nora’s shoulders. She shuddered under his touch and stared into his big eyes. Then his fingers slowly moved to stroke her cheek and brush a lock of hair behind her ear. ‘You’re so beautiful,’ he said. Nora was sure her cheeks were red as a tomato, and burning up. ‘I am in love with Nate, but I—I have feelings too. For you. Kind of did since Berlin…’ His eyes trailed off and then focused back on her. ‘And I’m the one totally messing this up right now.’

‘No, this—it’s adorable.’ Nora was still processing what he’d said. ‘Are you serious?’ Her voice was laced with hope.

‘I never thought my life would ever get so crazy,’ he said. ‘But yes, Nora, I’m serious.’

‘And what about Nate?’

(She had talked to Nate before. He knew that—he knew. But still.)

‘Nate is—he’s told me that knows about my feelings for both him and you, and that his heart is big enough to share. He loves me, and he likes you.’ Ray subconsciously moved closer. Nora didn’t mind at all.

She blinked. Her gaze fell on his lips. She remembered what it was like to kiss those lips—then she felt guilty because of Zari, and fuck, this was just getting more complicated, and—

‘Can I kiss you?’ It came out barely as a whisper.

Nora’s hands, hanging limply by her body, shot up and cupped his face, which was now covered in soap bubbles because she didn’t use gloves for dishes. She pulled him down.

It was their fourth kiss, but also first, because does it really count when you are under the influence of pot brownies and alcohol and a game of Spin the Bottle? It felt unreal, but it was so, so real and _right_.

Detergent got all the way into Ray’s _hair_.

 

What was going to happen with the two of them— _three_ of them—today, tomorrow, in the future? Nora didn’t know. There was a lot to talk about yet. She’d swear his entire situation was taken out of a bad romantic comedy that only ends happily for two people involved.

But now, right now, she was warm and happy and didn’t want to stop kissing Ray.


	98. it's all ray's fault

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can't believe it's almost half a year since i started writing this??? that was in the last week of july??? time flies so fast, smh. and that also means this fic is finally in its second half. SECOND HALF. with chapter 98 and 130k. oh boy. it's the longest chatfic ever; i actually CHECKED. never thought i could get so far – but your love and incredible comments are what made that happen. i'm so glad you love this story, cos i do, and i really, really enjoy writing it, more than any other work i've written. 💖💖💖
> 
> enjoy this one too!

**2019/01/11**

 

 **gayforray:** the new Robin Hood movie came out yesterday, who wants to watch

 **rayofsunshine:** Me, obviously!

 **Lancelot:** Me too, so I could make fun of Oliver later

**QueenZee: 😂**

**MiniDarhk:** that’s a mood

 **notbarryallen:** hey did you watch the new b99 episode 

 **gayforray:** ofc we did, who do you think we are

 **Jaxon:** yep i watched it too

 **QueenZee:** @Lancelot Holt was such a mood in this one

 **Lancelot:** I thought we were past that already

 **Lancelot:** But yeah he was 👌

 **gayforray:** I want the pineapple t-shirt

 **MamaWaverider:** No problem.

 **MiniDarhk:** how do you even know what he means

 **rayofsunshine:** Gideon knows everything.

 **MamaWaverider:** Yes, that is virtually my purpose.

 **grunt:** I want that t-shirt with muscles on it

 **MiniDarhk:** mick, you surprise me

 **trickstergoddess:** youve got a nice six pack yourself, mick ;)

 **gayforray:** true

**Lancelot: 👀**

**gayforray:** I’ve seen him change don’t make an affair out of that

 **gayforray:** and don’t eye emoji me right now

 **notbarryallen:** I love how 👀 means “explain???” here

 **QueenZee:** here we don’t use question marks anymore

 **MiniDarhk:** we should call ourselves the eyes emoji squad

 **Jaxon:** u should

 **gayforray:** shall I

 

 **notbarryallen** _changed the group’s name to_ **The Eyes Emoji Squad**

 

 **notbarryallen:** ha beat you to it

 **gayforray:** :(

**MiniDarhk: 👍**

**notbarryallen:** so what happened between you and ray yesterday 👀

 **notbarryallen:** no one gave me my updates

 **notadick:** I hate that I care but yes, what happened

**Jaxon: 👀**

**grunt:** IS witch dating haircut now

 **QueenZee:** didn’t you ask that question before

 **MiniDarhk:** he did

 **MiniDarhk:** also

 **MiniDarhk:** sort of…?

 **trickstergoddess:** bloody finally

 **monalisa:** I check this and WHAT DO I SEE

**monalisa: 👀👀👀**

**notbarryallen:** for real

 **rayofsunshine:** Yes, for real 🙂

 **Jaxon:** another ot3 got together

 **monalisa:** @Jaxon yesssssss

 **notadick:** I’m happy for you guys

 **Lancelot:** Don’t get me wrong, I love you

 **Lancelot:** But I hope you won’t hog the bathroom like those three who don’t even LIVE HERE now that you’re all together

 **gayforray:** mom is pissed hehe @Trenchcoat

 **Trenchcoat:** What did I do

 **Trenchcoat:** And as far as I know, I do live here, you forced me to

 **monalisa:** we spend a lot of time in the bathroom, apparently 😉

 **QueenZee:** ugh no don’t wink at that

 **notbarryallen:** …how are you taking this

 **QueenZee:** Nora deserves to be happy and loved ❤️

**MiniDarhk: 💜**

**notadick:** you know you’re sending pretty mixed vibes here

**MiniDarhk: 🙄**

**MiniDarhk:** @Lancelot will you give us a bathroom of our own

 **Lancelot:** No

 **rayofsunshine:** Maybe you should give Mick one.

 **grunt:** why

 **gayforray:** everyone knows why

 **notbarryallen:** how is it with living arrangements now anyway

 **rayofsunshine:** It’s been a day, Wally.

 **MiniDarhk:** still zari’s roommate

 **gayforray:** I guess you can sleep over though ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **MiniDarhk:** oh can I 👀

 **rayofsunshine:** Our bed is big enough?

 **MiniDarhk:** if nate’s into it

 **gayforray:** let’s not jump into conclusions here

 **rayofsunshine:** This is so complicated…

 **monalisa:** nora’s with you and you’re with nate

 **monalisa:** not so complicated ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **trickstergoddess:** less complicated than your three-way thing

 **QueenZee:** _that_ sounds less complicated, actually

 **Lancelot:** Stop saying the word “complicated” everyone

 **Trenchcoat:** If you want some advice on poly relationships @rayofsunshine @MiniDarhk

 **rayofsunshine:** Actually, yes, thanks, John!

 **gayforray:** and he doesn’t tag me

 **notbarryallen:** lmao

 **monalisa:** you’re just that really chill guy so

 **gayforray:** I guess, I mean, it’s 2019, what do you want

 **gayforray:** my boyfriend can love someone else too, jesus, don’t act like it’s a tragedy @ the world

 **rayofsunshine:** I love you so much ❤️

 **gayforray:** <333

 **Lancelot:** Triple text heart, really

 **MiniDarhk:** now you ruined the moment

 **MissTimeBureau:** I’ve just read it, and I guess I should congratulate you or something.

 **MiniDarhk:** thanks aves, no need to get emotional

**MissTimeBureau: 🙄**

**QueenZee:** I’m just surprised you weren’t snooping like usual

 **MissTimeBureau:** I don’t _snoop_.

 **Lancelot:** You do

 **MissTimeBureau:** Fine, maybe I do, but this time I’m actually working.

 **monalisa:** well gary’s not here either so I believe you

**MiniDarhk: 😂**

**QueenZee:** aren’t you at work too @monalisa

 **monalisa:** yeah but I’m not busy rn

 **monalisa:** just reading a book

 **MiniDarhk:** do you have more books for me honey

 **monalisa:** I have three you’ll definitely love 😉

 **MiniDarhk:** thanks 💜

 **QueenZee:** speaking of books, did you know Mick takes those you finish

 **MiniDarhk:** I noticed they went missing…

 **Lancelot:** Mick does WHAT

 **rayofsunshine:** I guess he likes romance novels.

 **QueenZee:** when he wrote one

 **grunt:** I don’t know what you’re thinking but I ain’t stealing no romance books

 **MamaWaverider:** Yes, you are, I’ve got it on camera records.

 **grunt:** fuck

 **notbarryallen:** you’re busted

 **grunt:** so what, men can read those!

 **monalisa:** sure they can, why not 😉

 **QueenZee:** never said they couldn’t

 **grunt:** it’s hot

 **grunt:** like porn but a book

 **gayforray:** did you read 50 Shades of Grey 

 **grunt:** all 3

 **Lancelot:** I’d never expect Mick to be a bookworm but hey

 **Lancelot:** Also speaking of books, Iris asked if we had any we could give them since they don’t have as many metas to catch these days

 **notbarryallen:** did team flash become procrastinators like us

 **gayforray:** mood

 **QueenZee:** yeah, they totally did

 **QueenZee:** we talk like every day

 **monalisa:** it’s contagious

**MiniDarhk: 👍**

**MiniDarhk:** we can drop some off at girls’ night today

 **rayofsunshine:** I have a few Cisco might like.

 **Lancelot:** Great

 **gayforray:** what was that about talking every day

 **QueenZee:** we’ve got a group for the girls

 **gayforray:** :(

 **gayforray:** @rayofsunshine make one for the guys too

 **Trenchcoat:** Seriously

 **Trenchcoat:** How many of those _do_ you have

 **Lancelot:** Except for the teams and leaders? Smaller groups and all the women

 **notbarryallen:** like the wests?

 **MiniDarhk:** yeah

 **MiniDarhk:** we’ve got one for future people too

 **QueenZee:** with the other Nora, Brainy and Winn who was in the future for a few months

 **rayofsunshine:** Only you are in just this one, John.

 **Trenchcoat:** Gary and Mona and I text

 **gayforray:** doesn’t count

 **grunt:** how did this even happen

 **Lancelot:** No one knows

 **gayforray:** we were normal once

 **QueenZee:** it’s all Ray’s fault

 **rayofsunshine:** How?

 **QueenZee:** you made this in July

 **notbarryallen:** nah we all had them before just not so many

 **rayofsunshine:** Thanks.

 **notbarryallen:** the fact we’re here every day is your fault though

 **rayofsunshine:** How???

 **QueenZee:** you made this in July

 **MiniDarhk:** and we got addicted

 **rayofsunshine:** If I didn’t make this, Nora would still be in prison. Who added her back then?

 **MiniDarhk:** you

 **rayofsunshine:** So I changed things for the better too, don’t you think?

 **gayforray:** none of us would probably be together so yeah <3

 **MiniDarhk:** <3

 **rayofsunshine:** <3


	99. you did it, mom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't even know what to say at this point lol just enjoy the chapter (nine-nine!)

**2019/01/13**

 

 **QueenZee:** I just found a hugeass spider in my room eeeek

 **Lancelot:** Your point

 **QueenZee:** get it fucking OUT

 **MiniDarhk:** really sara

 **gayforray:** she wanted to hear her say it 😂

 **QueenZee:** this isn’t FUNNY

 **QueenZee:** [ _image attached_ : spider.jpeg]

 **rayofsunshine:** I thought you liked Spider-Man?

 **QueenZee:** but not SPIDERS

 **MiniDarhk:** fine I’m coming there do you want me to fry it or vaporize it

 **Trenchcoat:** Sending it to a different dimension is also an option

 **QueenZee:** you’re horrible

 **gayforray:** okay but how do you even have spiders on board

 **rayofsunshine:** You mean we.

 **gayforray:** wasn’t there when you found it

 **Lancelot:** What if it’s a spider from the 15th century or something

 **trickstergoddess:** god youre making a fuss just stomp it with your boot and be done with it

 **notbarryallen:** you shouldn’t kill innocent animals smh

 **notbarryallen:** take it away

 **Trenchcoat:** What, are you a Buddhist now

 **notbarryallen:** just saying that the spider didn’t do anything, did it

 **QueenZee:** it’s threatening my existence

 **QueenZee:** well not anymore but…

 **MiniDarhk:** the situation is taken care of

 **Lancelot:** What if we ever met those giant spiders like in Harry Potter

 **QueenZee:** nope, not doing that

 **grunt:** I’d kill them with joy

 **rayofsunshine:** We all know you hate spiders, Mick.

 **QueenZee:** I bet it’s your fault though

 **QueenZee:** you leave enough crumbs to attract flies and who do they attract

 **gayforray:** spiders

 **grunt:** go to hell

 **notbarryallen:** so anyways how it is nora isn’t in zee’s room anymore

 **monalisa:** no eyes emoji

 **notbarryallen:** shut up

 **notbarryallen:** it’s 3 am here

 **MiniDarhk:** [ _image attached_ : gamers.jpeg]

 **QueenZee:** hey I want in too

 **Trenchcoat:** I wouldn’t mind that either

 **gayforray:** you wanna play games

 **Trenchcoat:** Not really ;)

 **Lancelot:** Go bother your own OT3, John

 **rayofsunshine:** Thanks.

 **monalisa:** oh yes please do

 **gare-bear:** We’ve got tater tots

 **monalisa:** and nothing much to do 😉

 **gayforray:** but to be fair I want in TOO

 **notbarryallen:** why are y’all working on sunday

 **MissTimeBureau:** Creatures and paperwork never sleeps.

 **notadick:** you know, technically,

 **gayforray:** ^^

 **gayforray:** but no it’s actually growing on me

 **MissTimeBureau:** Growing on you…?

 **gare-bear:** He definitely always loved it, right Nate

 **gayforray:** yup

 **gayforray:** I just really miss Ray 😉

 **rayofsunshine:** I miss you too.

 **rayofsunshine:** I have some suit updates I wanna run by you later, so join me in the lab?

 **gayforray:** sure thing

 **gayforray:** I just have 3 more hours and then I’m all yours <3

 **MiniDarhk:** will I get a suit 👀

 **Lancelot:** Do you want to

 **rayofsunshine:** We could work on that! But I’m no Cisco…

 **MiniDarhk:** I’ll just ask cisco then thanks

 **QueenZee:** betrayal huh

 **rayofsunshine:** …

 **QueenZee:** why aren’t you sleeping @notbarryallen

 **notbarryallen:** gotta keep my idiot warm

**notadick: 🙄**

**notadick:** we’re at a fucking airbnb, Wally, I’m not cold

 **notbarryallen:** you are, aaaaand we should stop texting ok bye

 **monalisa:** lmao

 **MiniDarhk:** fight sex

 **monalisa:** looks like 👀

 **gayforray:** they did go offline

 **Lancelot:** That’s what people who are dating do, can we move on

 **Trenchcoat:** You’re just jealous cos Sharpie’s at work all the time

 **Lancelot:** Screw you, we got plenty of activities to do

 **Trenchcoat:** So do we

 **grunt:** eating tater tots

 **gayforray: 😂** yeah

 **gare-bear:** …

 **monalisa:** …

 **Trenchcoat:** …

 **grunt:** I want tater tots

 **QueenZee:** we had lunch half an hour ago

 **MiniDarhk:** when did that ever stop mick

 **gayforray:** how do you even text when you’re playing video games

 **MiniDarhk:** we’re not doing that anymore

 **gayforray:** same question

 **MiniDarhk:** singlehandedly

**Lancelot: 😏**

**monalisa:** wait……oH

 **gayforray:** that’s not fair, you know

 **MiniDarhk:** should’ve stayed with us then, pretty boy

 **rayofsunshine:** You can still go back to being a full-time Legend 😉

 **gayforray:** three hours

 **gayforray:** just three more hours

 **grunt:** if you can go so long without your boyfriend

 **gayforray:** I do that almost every day, ha

 **QueenZee:** keep going 👏

 **grunt:** I still want tater tots

 **QueenZee:** get up off your ass then and get them 👏

 **Lancelot:** Zari’s in a mood today

 **gayforray:** when the spider’s gone

 **MiniDarhk:** is it though 👀

 **QueenZee:** what did you do

 **MiniDarhk:** wouldn’t you like to know

 **QueenZee:** I’m not afraid to use my totem

 **MiniDarhk:** I made it invisible hehe

 **MiniDarhk:** no I’m kidding 😂

 **MiniDarhk:** or am I 👀

 **gayforray:** oof

 **Trenchcoat:** Wicked

 **rayofsunshine:** Nah, you wouldn’t do that, you’re too nice.

 **MiniDarhk:** gah you’re right

**QueenZee: 😌**

**gayforray:** if it makes you any better, I really hate snakes

 **rayofsunshine:** Like Indiana Jones.

**gayforray: 😉**

**gayforray:** we share even the worse qualities

 **gare-bear:** Haha

 **gare-bear:** I hate bees. And heights. And crowds. And small, enclosed spaces. Also spiders so I feel you there

 **Lancelot:** Is there anything you’re _not_ afraid of

 **MissTimeBureau:** Not really.

 **monalisa:** ^^

 **Trenchcoat:** I have something in mind but you’d yell at me for being too sexual

 **MiniDarhk:** okay _that_ was enough actually

 **gare-bear:** Hvajdnkefbac

 **Lancelot:** Yeah

 **Lancelot:** Speaking of

 **Lancelot:** Guess who also had sex with Bruce

 **gayforray:** more gossip we’re not IN ON

 **monalisa:** shut up she’s telling us isn’t she

 **Lancelot:** Fucking LUCIFER

 **MiniDarhk:** shut UP

 **monalisa:** who now

 **Trenchcoat:** Can’t say I’m surprised

 **rayofsunshine:** And you know that how?

 **gayforray:** babe, he’s obviously in the chat

 **Lancelot:** …

 **Lancelot:** Yeah

 **QueenZee:** so it’s like a… one night stand pentagram now with you… five? or

 **Lancelot:** He said that 😂

 **Lancelot:** It’s _incomplete_ , mind you

 **gare-bear:** Hang on, did John and him

 **gare-bear:** I thought you said he hit on you but that’s all @Trenchcoat?

 **Trenchcoat:** No need to dig that up

 **monalisa:** WHO NOW

 **MiniDarhk:** little but aggressive lol

 **monalisa:** like bernadette 😉

 **monalisa:** also answer the question johnny

 **Trenchcoat:** Lucifer Morningstar

 **Lancelot:** I’m just saying, the world is small

 **MiniDarhk:** I’d love to see you all have lunch together

 **gayforray:** yeah you should

 **QueenZee:** remember Lucifer met us in 2023 for the first time though

 **MiniDarhk:** but you know, just sara, bruce, oliver, john and him

 **Lancelot:** That would be a disaster

 **Lancelot:** I’m screenshotting this and sending it to them as a suggestion

 **MiniDarhk:** I want to be in that chat

 **gayforray:** same

 **Lancelot:** Sorry fam, that one’s only for the parents

 **QueenZee:** YOU DID IT

 **Lancelot:** Yesterday night ;)

 **QueenZee:** …

 **MissTimeBureau:** …

 **Lancelot:** Appreciate my humor guys

**gayforray: 👍**

**gayforray:** you did it, mom


	100. the gay icon returns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO WE MADE IT TO CHAPTER FUCKING 100!!! this one's for you, yas, cos i totally used your idea ;)))
> 
> enjoy!

**2019/01/15**

 

 **rayofsunshine:** Is it true that we might be getting another bathroom after all?

**MiniDarhk: 👀**

**grunt: 👀**

**QueenZee: 👀**

**trickstergoddess: 👀**

**gayforray: 👀**

**Trenchcoat: 👀**

**gayforray:** Sara where are you

 **Lancelot:** Right here

 **Lancelot:** Just finished changing from the knotty gown I had to wear all day

 **Lancelot:** It took me TWENTY minutes thanks for your help

 **MiniDarhk:** sorry?

 **QueenZee:** …

 **grunt:** yeah yeah what is it about the bathroom

 **Lancelot:** “Might” being the keyword

 **Lancelot:** We might do it

 **QueenZee:** okay I’m no engineer but I’m good with doing it myself

 **QueenZee:** if that would mean avoiding sharing it with Mick

 **MiniDarhk:** noah fence but yeah

 **gayforray:** proposition: we make girls and guys bathrooms

 **MiniDarhk:** girls and charlie

 **rayofsunshine:** That’s a good idea.

 **Lancelot:** ^^

 **Lancelot:** IF we do it

 **MamaWaverider:** I say we do.

 **notbarryallen:** yeah

 **Lancelot:** Okay who’s ready to sacrifice a room for it then

 **rayofsunshine:** We’ve got enough rooms we’re not currently using for anything. Seven if I’m not wrong.

 **gayforray:** small ones

 **QueenZee:** the bathroom _is_ small

 **MiniDarhk:** why don’t we also add that swimming pool while we’re at it

 **Trenchcoat:** And our own private cinema

 **monalisa:** maybe a hot tub

 **Lancelot:** Now you’re just being choosy jerks

 **MiniDarhk:** ok maybe not a pool but I do want the hot tub now

 **Trenchcoat:** I second that

 **QueenZee:** third

 **gayforray:** fourth

 **grunt:** yeah

 **monalisa:** me too

 **Trenchcoat:** Me too

 **gare-bear:** yes

 **rayofsunshine:** This is democracy, Sara.

 **Lancelot:** Pffffff

 **Lancelot:** Fine I also want a hot tub

 **Lancelot:** Bruce will build it for us

**gayforray: 👀**

**Lancelot:** He said he’ll look into it “as the tech guru and all” thinking he can understand all this future tech 😂

 **QueenZee:** now there’s something I can teach Bruce Wayne

 **MiniDarhk:** you go zari 💪

 **notbarryallen:** haha we’ll be text support

 **notbarryallen:** jax and me

 **Trenchcoat:** Question

 **Trenchcoat:** Will the tub be in the new bathroom

 **Lancelot:** Obviously NOT

 **gayforray:** yeah there can’t be any privileges, John

 **rayofsunshine:** I’m already making a roster for it.

 **MiniDarhk:** nuh uh

 **QueenZee:** don’t

 **gayforray:** please

**rayofsunshine: 😥**

**MissTimeBureau:** Did someone say hot tub?

 **MiniDarhk:** yes ava’s with us

 **Lancelot:** Mostly with me though, y’know ;)

 **QueenZee:** ugh why do you have to make all the pleasurable things sexual

 **Trenchcoat:** Cos sex is a pleasure, love

**monalisa: 😏😏😏**

**MissTimeBureau:** I could use an hour of a hot tub massage right now…

 **Lancelot:** You just need say

 **Lancelot:** I’m taking you to a spa after work

 **MissTimeBureau:** You’re the _best_ <3

 **MissTimeBureau:** I really need that after this mission.

 **Lancelot:** <3

 **notbarryallen:** so that’s where you went for two days again

 **gayforray:** yeah, we do actually still have a job

 **MiniDarhk:** even if it doesn’t really look that way anymore 😂

 **MiniDarhk:** anyway

 **MiniDarhk:** ARE you doing that lunch with the team dads

 **Lancelot:** Haven’t really discussed it yet

 **Lancelot:** Not properly

 **Lancelot:** But I told John he was invited 😉

 **Trenchcoat:** And I told you I wasn’t doing it

 **gayforray:** “team dads”

 **notbarryallen:** lol

 **MiniDarhk:** sara’s our mom and they’re the dads

 **MiniDarhk:** they’ve even had sex

 **rayofsunshine:** Oliver, Bruce, Barry, and I suppose even Lucifer have children, so they really are dads. Only John isn’t!

 **QueenZee:** …

 **Lancelot:** That’s… actually good

 **Lancelot:** But don’t forget Kara’s there too

 **MiniDarhk:** oh sorry five team dads and a team mom then

 **gayforray:** better

 **Trenchcoat:** You’re not even fighting the mum thing

 **monalisa:** sara claimed the title

 **Lancelot:** It’s hard not to when you’re such children sometimes

 **MissTimeBureau:** *all the time.

 **grunt:** hey

 **gare-bear:** Don’t lie to yourself, Mick

 **Trenchcoat:** I’m no one’s kid though

 **QueenZee:** you I actually believe

 **MiniDarhk:** you’re the uncle

 **gayforray:** I thought Mick was the uncle

 **monalisa:** people usually have more than one uncle you know

 **Trenchcoat:** You called me the rebellious son, remember

 **monalisa:** you really talked about this before

 **rayofsunshine:** Yep, we’ve all got family roles here.

 **gayforray:** we’re just one big weird gay family

 **trickstergoddess:** that just keeps growing bigger and bigger

 **QueenZee:** YOU ADMITTED YOU’RE IN THE FAMILY

 **trickstergoddess:** never said that

 **Lancelot:** You did

 **Lancelot:** You belong in our family

 **MamaWaverider:** Do you count me too?

 **gayforray:** of course, Gideon

 **MamaWaverider:** By the way, you’ve got a pending message request. Shall I allow it?

 **MiniDarhk:**???

 **gayforray:** can someone even do that

 **Lancelot:** Go ahead

 

 **leosnart** _joined_ **The Eyes Emoji Squad**

 

 **leosnart:** hello its me

 **Lancelot:** The gay icon returns

 **rayofsunshine:** The lost cousin!!!

 **leosnart:** what

 **leosnart:** i just came here to tell y’all that we killed all the nazis and saved earth-x while you were no doubt procrastinating your asses off

 **QueenZee:** …

 **gayforray:** I feel attacked

 **Lancelot:** How long have you been on board again

 **rayofsunshine:** And he didn’t even invite us to the wedding.

 **leosnart:** no congratulations? should’ve thought

 **leosnart:** anyway i gotta go, i have a dick to suck, bye

 

 **leosnart** _left_ **The Eyes Emoji Squad**

 

 **MiniDarhk:** what was that

 **grunt:** nazi earth snart

 **grunt:** doesn’t even say hi to me

 **monalisa:** he said hi to everyone…?

 

 **gayforray** _added_ **leosnart** _to_ **The Eyes Emoji Squad**

 

 **leosnart:** _what_ , i said i was leaving

 **Lancelot:** Oh just go ;)

 **gayforray:** you can stay here though

 **rayofsunshine:** Just turn off your phone.

 **monalisa:** why, who is he

 **Lancelot:** Just the man who got Ava and me together

**monalisa: 👀👀👀**

**MiniDarhk:** really 👀

 **MissTimeBureau:** Yeah…

 **MissTimeBureau:** Though I remember it was you who needed pushing.

 **Lancelot:** Oh shut up, we got there in the end

 **MissTimeBureau:** That we did <3

 **Lancelot:** Love ya <3


	101. you're out of control

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leo is a mood... enjoy!

**2019/01/17**

 

 **gayforray:** new b99 tonight who’s excited

 **QueenZee:** go nine nine

 **MiniDarhk:** noiceee

 **Lancelot:** Finally

 **Trenchcoat:** Why is everyone so obsessed with it

 **rayofsunshine:** We’ve been through this before, John.

 **monalisa:** it’s only the best show ever

 **gayforray:** did you convince Oliver to watch it yet

 **Lancelot:** No :(

 **Lancelot:** But we’ve got more cool people on our side now so all’s not lost yet

 **MiniDarhk:** … did you forgive nate for taking your phone yesterday

 **Lancelot:** Definitely not

 **gayforray:** thanks for bringing it up

 **Lancelot:** I’m kidding

**monalisa: 😂**

**leosnart:** no wonder you never get anything done

 **Lancelot:** Excuse you

 **leosnart:** do you _have to_ chat every day like teenagers

 **gayforray:** yes

 **QueenZee:** speaking of

 **QueenZee:** how exactly do you know about this

 **leosnart:** gideon

 **MiniDarhk:** I’m not surprised

 **MiniDarhk:** have we even met though lol

 **leosnart:** oh we have

 **leosnart:** when you were a kid, in that mental hospital where I _almost got lobotomized_

 **Trenchcoat:** We’ve apologised for that…

 **leosnart:** still

 **leosnart:** but I don’t wanna be impolite, how have you been

 **QueenZee:** spectacular

 **gayforray:** we’ve had an epic year

 **Lancelot:** And Christmas

 **rayofsunshine:** You should’ve been here for the New Year’s party.

 **gayforray:** oh d e f i n i t e l y

 **leosnart:** who didn’t invite me

 **Trenchcoat:** We

 **leosnart:** thats right

 **Lancelot:** We’re having lunch with some of the leaders tomorrow so if you want to

 **leosnart:** having lunch with the führer’s double? no thanks

**gayforray: 😂**

**MiniDarhk:** how do you even know oliver’ll be there

 **leosnart:** “leaders”

 **leosnart:** obviously

 **rayofsunshine:** So, how are you? How’s Ray?

 **leosnart:** never thought id say this but we’re pretty good

 **monalisa:** wait his husband’s name is ray

 **Lancelot:** Yeah

 **gayforray:** superhero identity too

 **monalisa:** what 😂

 **leosnart:** go ahead, make fun of him

 **monalisa:** sorry

 **monalisa:** a l s o we should change your name

 

 **Lancelot** _changed_ **leosnart’s** _name to_ **smartsnart**

 

 **notbarryallen:** that’s cisco’s line

 **QueenZee:** hello to you too

 **smartsnart:** not much of a change

 **gayforray:** it’s a compliment

 **grunt:** snart

 **smartsnart:** mick

 **QueenZee:** tension

 **MiniDarhk:** lol

 **grunt:** it’s good to talk to you again

 **QueenZee:** okay _not_ what I expected

 **MiniDarhk:** LOL

 **gayforray:** you capitalized

 **QueenZee:** and I’ve resigned in trying to make you stop using “lol”

 **notbarryallen:** woohoo

 **smartsnart:** is that like an issue

 **gayforray:** you wouldn’t believe

 **MissTimeBureau:** Hello again, Leo.

 **smartsnart:** director sharpe

 **Lancelot:** Ugh so formal

 **Trenchcoat:** You mean you never call her Director Sharpe in bed

 **Lancelot:** …

 **MissTimeBureau:** …

 **MissTimeBureau:** Dinner’s ready.

 **grunt:** you’re cooking

 **QueenZee:** yep

 **MiniDarhk:** with me

 **gayforray:** what’s for dinner

 **MiniDarhk:** vegetable spaghetti

 **MissTimeBureau:** With meat for Mick.

 **grunt:** thanks

 **Trenchcoat:** Are you sure this is our Mick

 **grunt:** fuck off trenchcoat

 **gayforray:** yup, definitely our Mick

 **smartsnart:** I see much hasn’t changed

 **monalisa:** ok I’m coming on the ship

 **QueenZee:** to watch b99

 **monalisa:** ofc

 **monalisa:** and the spaghetti

 **Trenchcoat:** Is Gary off work too

 **monalisa:** just wrapping up some paperwork :)

 **gare-bear:** That’s right!

 **gare-bear:** Wait for me?

 **Trenchcoat:** Course, love

 **MiniDarhk:** I wouldn’t be so sure

 **QueenZee:** Mick’s hungry

 **Lancelot:** Better come before they eat it all

 **notbarryallen:** we’re having breakfast right now 😂

 **smartsnart:** how so

 **notbarryallen:** we’re in south korea

 **notbarryallen:** me and my bf

 **notadick:** [ _image attached_ : noodles.jpeg]

 **notadick:** might be breakfast but it’s almost the same thing

 **gayforray:** coincidences

 **gayforray:** so did I hear you’re going to big belly tomorrow

 **gayforray:** with Gotham’s elite

 **Lancelot:** Oliver’s idea

 **rayofsunshine:** Really?

 **Lancelot:** What did Barry tell you now @gayforray

 **gayforray:** oh nothing

 **notadick:** you’re meeting Bruce?

 **MiniDarhk:** he’s still your dad right

 **notadick:** haven’t spoken to him in five years

 **notadick:** earth-18 Bruce

 **Lancelot:** I haven’t actually met him since 2008

 **gayforray:** 11 years wow

 **rayofsunshine:** You haven’t talked to him until yesterday.

 **QueenZee:** I HAVE HA

 **QueenZee:** Sara gave me his number so we could discuss the bathroom situation

 **MiniDarhk:** that was yesterday

**monalisa: 😂**

**trickstergoddess:** what did I miss

 **MissTimeBureau:** It’s dinner time.

 **trickstergoddess:** oh good im hungry

 **smartsnart:** and who might you be

 **trickstergoddess:** charlie

 **Trenchcoat:** A former shapeshifter

 **Lancelot:** Oh hey you don’t actually know what we’ve been dealing with for the past few months

 **grunt:** magical fuckers

 **rayofsunshine:** Fugitives.

 **grunt:** magical fuckers

 **MiniDarhk:** that’s what we used to call them

 **monalisa:** really

 **monalisa:** kinda rude

 **trickstergoddess:** yeah

 **QueenZee:** Mick’s words

 **smartsnart:** sounds like mick

 **smartsnart:** so you’re hunting magical creatures or

 **rayofsunshine:** Exactly.

 **Trenchcoat:** Got rid of Malice but unleashed all those bastards

 **Lancelot:** We’re dealing with it, okay

 **smartsnart:** good luck

 **gare-bear:** All right, I’m done with the paperwork!

 **monalisa:** <3

 **Trenchcoat:** <3

 **smartsnart:** is this what I think it is

 **Lancelot:** Yes

 **smartsnart:** good for you john

 **notbarryallen:** wait till you hear about ray and nate and nora then

 **notbarryallen:** or, as I say, darhksteelatom

 **MiniDarhk:** you gave us a ship name

 **gayforray:** so it’s not just steelatom now

 **rayofsunshine:** I like it!

 **gayforray:** of course you do babe

 **smartsnart:** you’re out of control

 **QueenZee:** noooo……

**monalisa: 😅**

**gayforray:** haha

 **gayforray:** maybe

 **Lancelot:** Just a little bit

 **MissTimeBureau:** I wouldn’t be so sure. You’re all texting at dinner.

 **Trenchcoat:** So are you

 **MiniDarhk:** for leo’s sake

 **smartsnart:** thanks

 **Lancelot:** Oh, and Oliver told me to congratulate you on your victory

 **smartsnart:** not to repeat myself but thanks

 **smartsnart:** at least someone

 **gayforray:** …


	102. [interlude] intervention

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **for Lotfan** , who asked me if i could write more wuconstantgreen scenes so here's one! hope you like it

‘Is it okay if we take this to John’s room?’ Mona asked Nora, eyebrows arched, and lifted her plate as she walked to the table. Gary hovered right behind her.

‘Sure,’ Nora said. She put a bundle of spaghetti in her mouth and paid her no more attention; she was the cook, not the captain.

‘No one’s obliged to be here,’ added Zari. Her words were muffled by the food, and there was a sauce stain at the corner of her mouth, but Mona wasn’t going to tell her that when her plate was still full.

She nodded and left the dining room with Gary in tow. John was still in the kitchen, scooping up his portion of dinner. He took his time, because he didn’t know what she needed to talk to him about.

The creatures.

Gideon let her into John’s room without waving at the motion detector. She scurried over to the bed and balanced her oily vegetable spaghetti plate on the bed before climbing on it. She tucked in. Gary, almost spilling the food on the duvet, sat next to her.

It was their thing, sitting on the bed with food or drink, against the cold wall, and talking about stuff or watching films or just cuddling, usually with Gary squeezed between John and Mona.

A minute later, John came in through the door, being the clever one and bringing a tray. There were three mugs of steaming coffee, too, with cinnamon for Mona, cream for Gary, and whisky for John. God bless him.

‘Not that I mind eating in peace away from those loud idiots,’ he said, ‘but why?’ He laid the tray on the nightstand and clambered in next to Gary, then he told him he had a piece of leek on his mouth.

‘Do something about it then,’ he said, and oh, Gary was so attractive when he was confident. Something John had taught him.

John replied by licking the food off of his face and then kissing him.

‘Mona wants to talk,’ Gary told him. The way he said it, it didn’t sound at all sinister, “I-want-to-talk-we-need-to-break-up” sinister. That made it all easier.

He took his plate and looked at her. ‘What about, love?’

She swallowed first. ‘Remember in December, when I got hurt,’ she instinctively glanced at her stomach; there were scars that still hurt sometimes, ‘because I followed the guys who took Konane to the basement?’

Of course they did. They had spent days at the medical department with her.

‘I’ve been looking into it. The creatures. They’re still hurting them, but I can’t find anything in the records; the CCTV footage is wiped; I don’t have access to any of the files that _might_ be of use.’ Her eyes bore into Gary’s. ‘But you do, Gary. And you can get us where I can’t go ‘cause I don’t have the time courier. And you, Johnny, can cloak us with magic.’ She was looking at him now. Their hands gripped the forks but didn’t move. ‘We need to get in and stop it, and find whoever’s in charge of it. It sure as hell isn’t Ava.’

‘When?’ asked John, and Gary said, ‘That’s so horrible.’ His second reaction was asking whether Ava knew.

‘No, and I’m planning to tell her once we have more information. That’s on Sunday; the Bureau will be mostly empty.’

That was a reasonable plan, right?

She just wanted to save the creatures without alarming the top management—what if someone from their lines was involved? She couldn’t risk it. Not after what happened the last time.

‘Yeah, okay, you can count with me,’ Gary said. ‘I wanna save those creatures too. Jesus.’

‘I’m not sure they’re—’ John stopped himself. He knew Mona wouldn’t like the way that sentence ended. ‘Never mind. Yeah, of course I’ll bloody do it if just to get the kick out of the arseholes in charge.’

That was John for you. He cared in his own way. Mona sent him a sad smile. Three days till Sunday—a lot could still happen in three days.

‘The creatures shouldn’t suffer, and the board shouldn’t abuse them and keep it a secret. It’s wrong,’ she said. _This means a lot to me_ , she didn’t say.

‘It’s more than wrong.’

‘Yeah.’

Silence hung heavy in the room for a minute. Then Mona shuffled closer to Gary and laid her head on his shoulder (she kissed it softly), carrying on with her dinner. John did the same.

There was nothing they could do _now_ besides filling their food-demanding bellies and being in each other’s company, snuggled close to each other, in comfort.


	103. plums are mine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this probably isn't funny as it should be eh but it is the way it is and i hope you like it
> 
> btw, i can't stop listening to bmth's amo, which came out on friday. it's the best album. best songs. so many feels. go listen to it. make me happy. it has a fucktonne of genres so there's something for everyone

**2019/01/19**

 

 **MissTimeBureau:** I open the freezer and this thing could put Captain Cold to SHAME.

 **MissTimeBureau:** How does that food even fit in with all the ICE?

 **MissTimeBureau:** And what IS that food for that matter?

 **MissTimeBureau:** How old is it???

 **gayforray:** you…… don’t ask

 **MiniDarhk:** ava used CAPS LOCK???

 **MiniDarhk:** wow

 **QueenZee:** you should probably ask whether it’s food at all but okay

 **MissTimeBureau:** WHAT

 **Trenchcoat:** She lost it

 **gare-bear:** We broke the boss

 **monalisa:** audhfjegrb

 **Lancelot:** Why did you look into the freezer

 **MissTimeBureau:** For ice cream.

 **gayforray:** Gideon makes that

 **MissTimeBureau:** But—

 **MamaWaverider:** Don’t ask.

 **QueenZee:** to answer your questions, it’s mostly weird stuff someone gave us

 **QueenZee:** or it’s Mick’s

 **Trenchcoat:** And by “weird stuff” she means you shouldn’t be surprised to find some organs in there

 **MissTimeBureau:** Organs?

 **Trenchcoat:** For spells

 **MissTimeBureau:** Right, of course.

 **MissTimeBureau:** Legends?

 **rayofsunshine:** Yes?

**gayforray: 👀**

**MissTimeBureau:** Go clean the freezer. Right now.

 **grunt:** leave it to me

 **QueenZee:** don’t use your fire gun on it

 **Lancelot:**!!!

 **grunt:** why not

 **grunt:** it’s quick to unfreeze

 **rayofsunshine:** The entire fridge would also probably blow up.

 **MiniDarhk:** not a good idea

 **trickstergoddess:** why not

 **gayforray:** don’t start

 **MamaWaverider:** There will be no fire in the kitchen.

 **Lancelot:** You’re a little too late

 **MiniDarhk:** there’s lots of fire in the kitchen, gideon

 **QueenZee:** yours, one time

**MiniDarhk: 🔥**

**MiniDarhk:** I’m a dangerOUS PERSON

 **rayofsunshine:** Of course you are <3

 **MiniDarhk:** don’t mock me ray

 **gayforray:** and this is LOVE

 **MiniDarhk:** fuck you

 **gayforray:** ily too

 **Lancelot:** Wait what

**QueenZee: 👀**

**gayforray:** jeez you take everything literally

 **gayforray:** let’s go mess up that freezer

 **gare-bear:** You mean _un_ -mess up

 **gare-bear:** No ok I get it now 😆 sorry

 **Lancelot:** Ugh fine

 **MissTimeBureau:** Thank you.

 **Trenchcoat:** You can just do it yourself, Sharpie

 **MissTimeBureau:** Nope, not touching that.

 **grunt:** it’s just frozen food

 **monalisa:** and ORGANS mick let’s not forget about the organs

 **Trenchcoat:** Animal organs. And herbs. If someone got it in their minds to report me to the police or something

 **rayofsunshine:** There really is a nice layer of frost…

 **rayofsunshine:** [ _image attached_ : freezer.jpeg]

 **smartsnart:** nice, I like it

 **MiniDarhk:** what concerns me is

 **MiniDarhk:** ray, our resident ocd cleaning master

 **MiniDarhk:** let this happen

 **gayforray:** cause no one ever looks inside that’s how

 **grunt:** I found goulash

 **grunt:** german dumplings

 **grunt:** brisket

 **grunt:** some leftover turkey

 **grunt:** all mine

 **grunt:** and a bag of peas and some fruit and a dead rat

 **grunt:** not mine

 **QueenZee:** “a bag of peas and some fruit and a dead rat”

 **QueenZee:** HOW does that fall into the same category

 **monalisa:** lmfuckingao

**monalisa: 😂😂😂**

**Trenchcoat:** Is the rat black and has only three legs

 **grunt:** the fuck I know

 **gayforray:** I hate this but… ugh… yeah

 **Trenchcoat:** Then it’s mine

 **MissTimeBureau:** Oh, so that’s cool then, let’s just put the rat back.

 **MiniDarhk:** ava? and sarcasm?

 **QueenZee:** huh

 **Lancelot:** Don’t shit on my gf

 **Lancelot:** She’s going through something

 **Lancelot:** And yes, she knows sarcasm, get over it 😂

 **gare-bear:** Do put it back please, John hates when you touch his stuff

 **trickstergoddess:** ‘cept when youre gary or mona

 **gayforray:** ooooooo

 **MiniDarhk:** ur right

**monalisa: 😉😉😉**

**Trenchcoat: 😉**

**rayofsunshine:** First we unfreeze it, then we put it back. And the other things. Unless you wanna play at Howard Wolowitz and eat it all for dinner?

 **MiniDarhk:** I’m not eating a rat, ray

 **rayofsunshine:** Not what I meant 🙄

 **QueenZee:** Ray eyerolled you, Nora. he eyerolled you

 **Trenchcoat:** Do not eat my rat

 **rayofsunshine:** …

 **notbarryallen:** I hear howard wolowitz what’s going on

 **gayforray:** [ _image attached_ : foodpile.jpeg]

 **QueenZee:** I’m not touching that

 **QueenZee:** except the plums

 **QueenZee:** plums are mine

 **QueenZee:** I claim them

 **notbarryallen:** bucky loves his plumssss

 **trickstergoddess:** no one steals his plums

**gayforray: 🍑**

**MiniDarhk:** that’s a peach you fuck

 **gayforray:** there isn’t a plum emoji

 **QueenZee:** on it 👍

 **Lancelot:** And this one she makes

 **trickstergoddess:** ok but… whats got noras knickers in a twist today

 **gayforray:** my beloved boyfriend Ray Palmer

 **monalisa:** wh a t

**notbarryallen: 👀**

**smartsnart:** good for you

 **rayofsunshine:** Not like that.

 **rayofsunshine:** Yet.

 **rayofsunshine:** Uh.

 **MiniDarhk:** yet huh 👀

 **Lancelot:** That’s an image I didn’t need

 **QueenZee:** you’re the last one who should say that but

 **Lancelot:** No that’s John

 **notbarryallen:** true

 **Trenchcoat:** …

 **Trenchcoat:** Yeah

 **MiniDarhk:** like

 **MiniDarhk:** this is what he sent to me yesterday

 **MiniDarhk:** [ _image attached_ : bruceandluci.jpeg]

 **Lancelot:** NO

 **gayforray:** hey how did that go

 **gayforray:** did they…?

 **Trenchcoat:** Sadly, no

 **QueenZee:** …

 **monalisa:** omg akgngdsgdsj

 **notbarryallen:** is this bruce wayne we’re talking about, married bruce wayne, with six kids

 **notbarryallen:** and a totally savage badass wife

 **MiniDarhk:** did rick spill the story

 **notadick:** …

 **Lancelot:** Bruce is complicated

 **Lancelot:** And I quote, “we both have our stuff but we love each other and that’s what matters, now, when’s the next meet-up, Lucifer and I have unfinished business”

 **gayforray:** oh wow

 **smartsnart:** @Lancelot “which is each other”

 **gayforray:** oh WOW

 **grunt:** damn, snart

 **Lancelot:** That was… rather obvious… from the context…

 **QueenZee:** I’m sorry I said anything

 **notadick:** let’s suffer together

 **notbarryallen:** let’s not

 **notbarryallen:** enjoying those plums zee

 **QueenZee:** they’re FROZEN

 **MiniDarhk:** let it go, let it go

 **monalisa:** can’t hold it back anymore

 **notbarryallen:** let it go, let it goooo

 **gayforray:** turn away and slam the door

 **QueenZee:** it’s time to see what I can do

 **rayofsunshine:** Double slam!

 **trickstergoddess:** huh what

 **Trenchcoat:** Musicals…

 **gayforray:** Disney, John, DISNEY

 **MissTimeBureau:** Being kids again?

 **Lancelot:** Ava cried at Lion King 😏

 **gayforray:** everyone did, shut up

 **MissTimeBureau:** Yeah, babe

 **MiniDarhk:** even you nate

 **gayforray:** *sob* yeah

 **grunt:** lion king 😭

 **rayofsunshine:** We’re in this together.

 **Trenchcoat:** And now you’re gonna say you want to have a rewatch

 **gayforray:** excellent idea

 **rayofsunshine:** Let’s.

 **Lancelot:** But we’re watching The Incredibles first

 **QueenZee:**  👍

 **monalisa:** weeeeeee

 **Trenchcoat:** What have I done


	104. [interlude] tribute

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **for The_fan_girl_dream** , who asked who the legends sitting around paying tribute to their dead loved ones after watching [this video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLpADTGSoVI)
> 
> also, i'm sorry for the lack of updates for three!!! whole!!! days!!! i forgot to mention i was going to a wifi-less land again... smh when did posting every day become the standard and what everyone expects from me... in september, i posted the entirety of five chapters... but i wrote seven chapters and a [harrisco one-shot](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17647229), so at least i got my headstart back and that's good
> 
> this chapter deals with Issues (and references the thing ava's been going through in the last chapter) so i hope you enjoy! feels ahead!

‘It doesn’t matter that the memories are fake. It’s still real enough for me.’

The statement was simple. The question had been simple, too.

Ava tried hard not to shed a tear. She’s been trying all day, occasionally supporting her effort with alcohol or even helping the Legends clean the horrific mess of a galley. She had to put on a brave face and carry on—for Sara.

But of course she knew something was wrong.

Sara rubbed her thumb across the palm of her hand. She lifted the hand to her lips and pressed a soft kiss against Ava’s skin. ‘I know.’ She stared into her eyes. ‘I know, Aves. You can talk to me about it—about _her_.’

Five years ago. It happened five years ago, on the 20th January 2014.

Her fiancée. Sonia. A helicopter accident—

Only Rip and Sara knew.

Rip because he’d programmed that agonising memory into her brain to make her a driven, obedient agent. Sara because Ava had confessed one sleepless night.

Ava sucked in a breath. ‘I’m not sure I want to right now.’

Even if she needed to.

‘That’s okay,’ Sara assured her. ‘We all have our baggage, and we don’t always want to bring it up because it’s just too damn painful.’ Ava had read the files, so of course she knew. And then she knew the real people, too. ‘I of all people understand that. But sometimes we need to. I’m told it helps.’ She gave her a look.

It bore right through her soul. God, she was right—real or implanted baggage.

Ava scoffed. ‘Yeah…’

‘And please don’t start on how I should follow my own advice.’

‘I won’t.’

‘Good, ‘cause I’m gonna kiss you real hard right now and then we’re gonna talk.’

 

What she didn’t say was, _all of us_.

 

There was a circle in the middle of Rip’s study—symbolical, really. They held tumblers of various alcoholic and non-alcoholic liquids, and everyone had to say a toast like it was some sort of a Thanksgiving mashed with a funeral.

It sounded like one of Leo’s sessions over again—and he did help, in the form of texts interpreted by Gideon—but it was Ray and Sara’s idea.

Ray spoke first, about Anna and Martin Stein. Then it was Sara’s turn, and her list of departed loved ones was a little longer. Tommy. Quentin. Her sister. ‘To Laurel, who was one of the bravest people I’ve known. She was also the best sister I could’ve wished for, she always stood by me and by other people, she did what was right both as the Black Canary and the DA.’ She raised her glass. ‘I love you, Laur.’

She squeezed Ava’s hand. Ava cleared her throat. ‘I, erm, want to say a few words about someone I lost five years ago. Her name was Sonia. She was an army doctor and we were engaged, but then she got involved in a shoot-out in Afghanistan and a helicopter with her patient exploded. It was—it was devastating. I know none of that was really real—but I can still feel the pain. Because I loved her, somewhere in my memories. And god, that makes it even worse.’ She shook her head. Had to suppress tears again. ‘I love you, Sara,’ their gazes locked, ‘so much. You helped me find love again. But she was my first. So, to Sonia.’

Everyone was silent. They hadn’t known. They knew barely anything about Ava’s made-up past because she didn’t open up, and now she did—

‘To Sonia,’ Zari said with a sympathetic smile, and Ava finally released her breath. She drank from her glass. She had to, even if the circle was nowhere near complete yet.

John sat next to her, reluctant to participate in “their pathetic little seance”. He listed off some names, though, and were there more than a few. John has lost too many people in his life to keep count. He finished the tribute with Desmond’s name—a wound yet too fresh.

Mona rubbed his back and laid her head on his shoulder. She understood what it felt like.

She spoke about her mother, who’d died of cancer two years ago.

Zari, of course, talked about her brother. ‘Behrad was like my anchor in this world. Without him—well, you’ve seen it. Without him, I was lost and refused to let people in. Until I found you guys. I know I’ve been a pain in your ass at first, but that was only so I could save him. Love you, little bro.’

Next to her sat Mick, who sipped at his beer regardless of the situation. He said a few words about Snart, the best partner in crime he could find, the most brilliant thief, the little kid from juvie whose ass he’d kept having to save, his boyfriend of almost ten years.

Gideon translated Leo’s _aww, Mick_ with a healthy dose of amusement, and he told her to shut it with a glower at the ceiling.

Impossibly, the others laughed.

‘Is it okay if I talk about my dad?’ Nora asked, and no matter the power-thirsty asshole Damien Darhk was, he was still her father, and Ray nodded that yes, of course it was.

So she did, with sadness and bits of regret in her eyes.

Nate was the last to go. ‘Okay, so, none of my family is unfortunately dead yet, so I’m gonna pay tribute to the guy who’d brought us all here and created this awesome team of weirdos and then sacrificed his life so that we could kill Malice. I wasn’t here at the beginning, but I can still say he was a great man and something like a real-life Time Lord, and also the founder of the Time Bureau, and we gotta appreciate that. He’s done a lot of good. Thank you, Rip.’

‘Well said,’ Sara said. Ray kissed him on the temple.

Everyone raised their glasses and said, ‘To all those we’ve lost, and those our friends have lost, too.’

Ronnie Raymond. Eddie Thawne. Dante Ramon. Francine West. Henry and Nora Allen. Rex Tyler. The original Carter Hall. Robert and Moira Queen. Laura Ramirez. Samantha Clayton. Shado. Vincent Sobel. Fiona. The entirety of Krypton.

There have been many. Too many.

They drank and stared at each other in silence, not knowing what to say.

Until Mona did.

‘So, since we’re all here, John and Gary and I have something to tell you,’ she said. Her eyes flickered to John, and her glass, and then the others. Fear, uncertainty. ‘It’s about the creatures locked up at the Bureau. Someone’s been abusing them for months and covering their tracks to the last T.’

‘And we’ve been investigating it. It’s some nasty business going on in there.’

‘No, that—that can’t be true. I’m the Director, I know about every mouse in the walls.’

‘I’m sorry, Ava, but it is. We’ve got proof,’ Mona said. ‘Gideon?’


	105. no need to be snarky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i apologise in advance for not dealing with the cliffhanger from last chapter lmao i'm secretly evil  
> 
> also something i forgot to mention yesterday: last week i read a dw book called _the missy chronicles_. there were 6 stories and one of them was an actual fucking chatfic ok it was the best thing i've ever read. missy started a gc for powerful women in history and it had all the chatfic tropes like randomly appearing without being invited or leaving after getting upset or the typical banter... she gave all those women in the past smartphones... now what does that remind me of...

**2019/01/21**

 

 **Lancelot:** God I hate Siberia

 **QueenZee:** I’m. so cold

 **notbarryallen:** then don’t talk on your fucking phones

 **notbarryallen:** what’re you doing there anyway

 **rayofsunshine:** Catching a Yeti. Or waiting for one.

 **notadick:** a yeti? cool

 **Trenchcoat:** Literally

 **Lancelot:** Not cool. FREEZING

 **smartsnart:** sounds like my kind of gig

 **QueenZee:** feel free to come here and ice the motherfucker

 **QueenZee:** oh wait, they _love ice_

 **smartsnart:** no need to be snarky

 **Trenchcoat:** Ha ha ha

 **rayofsunshine:** Gideon, at least play some music. This is cold _and_ boring.

 **MamaWaverider:** Of course.

 **MiniDarhk:** baby it’s cold outside

 **MiniDarhk:** fucking really

 **smartsnart:** you go gideon

 **MamaWaverider:** I know ;)

 **Lancelot:** Gideon’s got a nerve when we’re not on board

 **MamaWaverider:** Do you want me to “let it go”?

 **notbarryallen:** lmao I’m dead

 **QueenZee:** NO DON’T

 **QueenZee:** no more cold songs

 **MamaWaverider:** :(

 **gayforray:** I’m with you mentally

 **gayforray:** you can do it

 **gayforray:** you can beat the cold

 **rayofsunshine:** Thank you, sweetheart.

 **MiniDarhk:** nate, world’s best supportive boyfriend

 **gayforray:** <3

 **Lancelot:** I’m too cold to comment on the sweetheart thing

 **notbarryallen:** I see what you did there 😉

 **Trenchcoat:** I’ve got eyes on the Yeti

 **QueenZee:** finally, my fingers are about to fall off

 **grunt:** you’re too dramatic

 **Lancelot:** [ _image attached_ : heatwaveonice.jpeg]

 **Lancelot:** And you’re not

 **gayforray:** ooh do you need ICE for that burn

 **notbarryallen:** I’m dead A G A I N

**notadick: 😂**

**MiniDarhk:** lmao

 **grunt:** …

 **grunt:** I hate winter

 **Lancelot:** Except it’s November so it’s not even winter yet

 **rayofsunshine:** Imagine Siberia in January.

 **MiniDarhk:** I’d rather not

 **notbarryallen:** what time period are you in

 **QueenZee:** 302 AD

 **notadick:** oh, I thought you were in the present

 **Lancelot:** Can’t be in the present when it’s November, hun

 **MiniDarhk:** yeah, learn the fucking math

 **smartsnart:** I see being exposed to low temperatures has made you even snarkier

 **rayofsunshine:** No kidding.

 **gayforray:** it’s serious when _Ray_ said that

 **rayofsunshine:** …

 **rayofsunshine:** Gotta go, the yeti’s here now.

 **gayforray:** good luck <3

 **Lancelot:** And it’s chasing us now NOT GOOD

 **MissTimeBureau:** Do you need assistance?

 **QueenZee:** ufh notreally

 **gayforray:** oh shit you do

 **QueenZee:** its hard to tupe when im runnigd

 **grunt:** we got it

 **MissTimeBureau:** Got it as in captured it or got it as in we don’t need help?

 **rayofsunshine:** Latter

 **notbarryallen:** ray didn’t use a period 👀

 **rayofsunshine:** Shooting at yeti no time

 **MamaWaverider:** This looks serious.

 **grunt:** boo hoo

 **Trenchcoat:** I’m gonna create a portal and send him through it

 **Trenchcoat:** Get him behind that tree

 **Lancelot:** There’s a FOREST John

 **Trenchcoat:** That pine. The lonely one

 **QueenZee:** got it

 **MiniDarhk:** imma yeet him with my magic hang on

 **Trenchcoat:** But hurry

 **Trenchcoat:** Everything’s good 👍

 **gayforray:** um where did he end up

 **monalisa:** a time bureau cell

 **monalisa:** we had a plan

 **monalisa:** he’s also gonna help us with finding out who’s got their hands in the dirty that’s going on here

 **MissTimeBureau:** Why didn’t you tell me?

 **monalisa:** doing it now…?

 **Trenchcoat:** Do you have the tracker, love

 **monalisa:** put it on him 👍

 **Trenchcoat:** Good

 **Trenchcoat:** Now we wait

 **monalisa:** yeah…

 **gayforray:** wow this is sad

 **MiniDarhk:** yeah

 **MiniDarhk:** I’m almost sorry for the yeti

 **monalisa:** well I AM

 **Lancelot:** Anyhow

 **Lancelot:** We’re getting our asses out of frozen land here

 **QueenZee:** I want a hot bath

 **QueenZee:** in that hot tub

 **QueenZee:** remind me why we haven’t built it yet

 **trickstergoddess:** you were supposed to do that sweetheart

 **rayofsunshine:** With Bruce.

 **MiniDarhk:** more sweetheart comments oho

 **QueenZee:** …

 **QueenZee:** we’re starting tomorrow

 **Lancelot:** Great

 **gayforray:** yay

 **trickstergoddess:** in the meantime

 **trickstergoddess:** can I join you in the bath ;)

 **QueenZee:** you try that

 **trickstergoddess:** I will ;)

 **QueenZee:** I didn’t mean it like THAT

 **QueenZee:** no charlie don’t youb dare

 **QueenZee:** someone stop herrrrr

 **MiniDarhk:** won’t be me

 **MiniDarhk:** I’ll have my own bath with ray 😉

 **rayofsunshine:** We really need that second bathroom.

 **Lancelot:** Eager to get there, are you 👀

 **rayofsunshine:** Yes, because I’m extremely cold.

 **MiniDarhk:** sure that’s the reason

 **rayofsunshine:** The main reason.

 **MiniDarhk:** aHA

 **monalisa:** eyes eyes eyes

 **gayforray:** what

 **monalisa:** what

 **QueenZee:** would be easier to type the emoji but ok

 **Lancelot:** Did you get Charlie out 👀

 **QueenZee:** yes, and _not thanks to you_

 **trickstergoddess:** im disappointed in you

 **QueenZee:** be

 **gayforray:** speaking of baths

 **gayforray:** we _know_ the tub is big enough but you don’t invite me

 **MiniDarhk:** you don’t deserve it when you’re in the office

 **gayforray:** what happened to world’s greatest supportive boyfriend

 **MiniDarhk:** you’re not my boyfriend

 **MiniDarhk:** we’re in some sort of a passive-aggressive relationship with each other

 **gayforray:** rude

 **rayofsunshine:** Yeah, rude, Nor.

 **rayofsunshine:** You can come here too if you want to ;)

**gayforray: 😘**

**MiniDarhk: 😘**

**gayforray:** and now you do smh

 **QueenZee:** give me at least half an hour though ok

 **QueenZee:** I’m out, phones and water don’t mix 🖖

 **smartsnart:** smart girl


	106. that's the spirit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's a guest on the ship 😉 enjoy!

**2019/01/22**

 

 **Lancelot:** Did you know Oliver has anotHER SISTER

 **gayforray:** since when doES SARA TYPE IN CRESCENDO

 **gayforray:** also wait WHAT I didn’t actually read that

 **MiniDarhk:** lmao

 **Lancelot:** [ _image attached_ : announcement.png]

 **QueenZee:** let me quote Barry and

 **QueenZee:** w h a t

 **MamaWaverider:** [ _image attached_ : emikoqueen.jpeg]

 **MiniDarhk:** she’s so… darkly beautiful

 **MiniDarhk:** oh god

 **trickstergoddess:** keep it in your pants darhkling

 **rayofsunshine:** I agree @MiniDarhk

 **gayforray:** yeah no jealousy here

 **gayforray:** we rule the world

 **gayforray:** also “darhkling” ialdnkdnfrg

 **Lancelot:** I like that 😉😂

 **notbarryallen:** oh y e s

 **MiniDarhk:** n o

 

 **gayforray** _changed_ **MiniDarhk’s** _name to_ **darhkling**

 

 **darhkling:** n o

 **QueenZee:** y e s

 **Trenchcoat:** You’re stuck with that now, love

 **notadick:** did anyone here read the grisha trilogy

 **notadick:** cause

 **notadick:** darkling

 **notbarryallen:** I did but I doubt the legends lol

 **notadick:** you did NICE

**notbarryallen: ❤️**

**monalisa:** I read it!!!

 **monalisa:** and six of crows!!!

 **notadick:** I love it it’s so gay

 **monalisa:** and has magic

 **notbarryallen:** king of scars comes out next week

 **monalisa:** I k n o w

 **notadick:** inej/kaz or inej/nina @monalisa @notbarryallen

 **monalisa:** n i n e j all the way

 **notbarryallen:** both, both is good

**notadick: 😍**

**Lancelot:** I have no idea what’s going on here

 **gayforray:** ehehe yeah

 **darhkling:** it’s a ya book series

 **Trenchcoat:** That explains a lot

 **gare-bear:** Did you mention TGT 👀

 **monalisa:** gary I LOVE U

 **gare-bear:** wow

 **gare-bear:** I’m

 **gare-bear:** aghdjksfg

 **QueenZee:** I have flashbacks

 **darhkling:** god I can’t believe that was half a year ago

 **rayofsunshine:** Me neither…

 **smartsnart:** you’ve had this chat for half a year

 **smartsnart:** idk if that’s too long or not long enough

 **notbarryallen:** ^^

 **Trenchcoat:** ^^

 **darhkling:** ^^

 **QueenZee:** ^^

 **MissTimeBureau:** @smartsnart how do you that happened on the first day?

 **smartsnart:** so it did

 **monalisa:** lmao

 **monalisa:** I wish I were there at the beginning

 **Lancelot:** More flashbacks

 **gare-bear:** Mona

 **monalisa:** yeah honey

 **gare-bear:** I love you too

 **monalisa:** aww ❤️

 **gare-bear:** And you too, John

**Trenchcoat: ❤️**

**darhkling:** cute

 **darhkling:** now where’s bruce wayne with his shit cause I want the second bathroom soon

 **QueenZee:** don’t worry, Gideon and I are already working on it

 **MamaWaverider:** Thank you for cleaning the rooms yesterday.

 **notbarryallen:** is that irony or

 **rayofsunshine:** No, we cleared the two storages and solved the water and electricity yesterday evening.

 **Lancelot:** Comes in handy having two tech geniuses on board

 **QueenZee:** why thank you, captain

**Lancelot: 🙄**

**Lancelot:** Behold, the bat has arrived

 **Lancelot:** [ _image attached_ : astonished.jpeg]

 **darhkling:** he’s also really really handsome

 **monalisa:** crushhhh

 **gayforray:** he’s not wearing the bat suit :(

 **rayofsunshine:** Contrary to popular opinion, he doesn’t sleep in the suit, nor he wears it when going out.

 **Trenchcoat:** I did have to tear it off of him once though ;)

 **QueenZee:** …

 **darhkling:** …

 **Jaxon:** u rly have batman build u the 2nd bathroom

 **QueenZee:** “if anyone’s capable of understanding this future tech, it’s me”

 **QueenZee:** he also said to say hi to the famous legends 😉

 **Lancelot:** We saw each other four days ago

 **rayofsunshine:** I’m coming to say hi personally.

 **gayforray:** yeah, me too

 **QueenZee:** go ahead, make our work harder

 **rayofsunshine:** We’ll go and fabricate all the equipment and appliances you need!

 **QueenZee:** in that case you’re welcome here

 **gayforray:** pffft what a friend you are

 **QueenZee:** mwah

 **QueenZee:** make the tub, sink, toilet, mirror, cupboards and anything else you want in here

 **rayofsunshine:** Will do.

 **MamaWaverider:** This is going to be a hard day.

 **Lancelot:** Is Gideon complaining about having to make lots of shit

 **MamaWaverider:** About having to make lots of large shit.

 **gayforray:** Gideon CUSSED

 **grunt:** we’ll make a badass out of her yet

 **MamaWaverider:** I was merely paraphrasing the captain’s words.

 **Trenchcoat:** Have it your way

 **Jaxon:** lmao

 **notbarryallen:** lmao

 **Jaxon:** bro

 **notbarryallen:** lmao bro

 **notadick:** stop that

 **Lancelot:** Anyway

 **Lancelot:** Emiko Queen. I want to meet her

 **Lancelot:** Three Arrows in one family is just too hilarious 😂

 **rayofsunshine:** Yeah…

 **QueenZee:** how’s Thea, anyway? haven’t heard from her in a while

 **Lancelot:** Last time I heard of her she was in Europe with Roy

 **Lancelot:** In Manchester, I think

 **Trenchcoat:** Manchester? That shithole?

 **monalisa:** you hate england as a whole, johnny, calm down

 **trickstergoddess:** why do you hate it

 **trickstergoddess:** I liked england

 **Trenchcoat:** Lots of bad has happened on home turf

 **Trenchcoat:** It’s also soaked with this special kind of defensive magic, makes me sick when I set foot in London

 **Trenchcoat:** Don’t like going there

 **trickstergoddess:** well to be fair last time you went there you took away my bloody powers

 **Trenchcoat:** Exactly

 **monalisa:** okayyy let’s focus on sth happier

 **monalisa:** food

 **monalisa:** what’s for lunch today

 **QueenZee:** oh Bruce asked if he can have lunch with us

 **gayforray:** are you KIDDING of course he can

 **darhkling:** he’s more than welcome to 😉

 **darhkling:** I wanted to cook today but now I won’t I can’t serve some shit pasta to Batman

 **notbarryallen:** m o o d lmao

 **Lancelot:** Your pasta’s great, Darhkling

 **darhkling:** ugh that’s really caught on hasn’t it

 **grunt:** yeah darhkling

 **QueenZee:** Mick uses it, it’s official

 **darhkling:** help…?

 **gayforray:** nuh uh

 **trickstergoddess:** who’s the batman bloke that you’re all shitting your pants round him

 **QueenZee:** you’re joking right

 **gayforray:** he’s only the world’s most famous billionaire/vigilante

 **trickstergoddess:** right

 **trickstergoddess:** in that case go cook that pasta darhkling

 **Lancelot:** Told you it’s great

 **Lancelot:** Ray taught you well

 **darhkling:** thanks

 **darhkling:** so did ava

 **rayofsunshine:** I’m a good teacher <3

 **MissTimeBureau:** Thank you, Nora.

 **darhkling:** ok get ready for spaghetti carbonara, tofu version

**monalisa: 🍝**

**QueenZee:** [ _image attached_ : brucethumbsup.jpeg]

 **grunt:** I’m getting my own lunch

 **darhkling:** go ahead, idc

 **gayforray:** that’s the spirit

 **gayforray:** Gideon play the BMTH song so the work goes faster

**MamaWaverider: 👍**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wanted to change nora's name for ages lmao i just didn't know what to AND NOW I DO it wasn't even planned


	107. tears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the title about sums it up,,, but like in a good way lmao
> 
> enjoy!

**2019/01/23**

 

 **notbarryallen:** guess what guess fucking W H A T

**Jaxon: 👀**

**QueenZee: 👀**

**monalisa: 👀**

**darhkling: 👀**

**gayforray: 👀**

**Lancelot:** Last time I heard that Oliver said he had another sister

 **notbarryallen:** lmao no

 **notbarryallen:** but you’re not too far from the tree

 **notbarryallen:** dad and little jenna VISITED ME IN KOREA THEY USED A BREACH

 **notbarryallen:** [ _image attached_ : fam.jpeg]

 **Jaxon:** bro thats cool and ur cute omggg

 **Jaxon:** jenna’s so cute

 **monalisa:** awwee babies

 **monalisa:** I want to kiss her and snuggle her

 **monalisa:** not in a creepy way or anything lmao

 **notadick:** I get you

 **notbarryallen:** yeah that’s my little sis ❤️❤️❤️

 **notbarryallen:** I’m so happy they’re here

 **notbarryallen:** said iris would come later when she’s off work and just !!!

 **QueenZee:** good for you, Walls

 **gayforray:** I’m happy for you, bro

 **notbarryallen:** thanks guys

 **notbarryallen:** how’s the bathroom situation going

 **rayofsunshine:** [ _image attached_ : halfwaythere.jpeg]

 **rayofsunshine:** We’ve already got the tub, and that’s what’s most important!

 **Lancelot:** We still haven’t worked it out though

 **Lancelot:** Will it be the girls’ or guys’ one

 **darhkling:** I propose a vote

 **gayforray:** we don’t even have to vote cause it’s 5:5 and Charlie who’ll probably use both anyway

 **trickstergoddess:** youre right about that one, pretty

 **rayofsunshine:** Let’s be gentlemen and give the new one to the girls.

 **darhkling:** hehe my plan woRKED

 **QueenZee:** wicked 😏

 **Lancelot:** Good strategy

 **gayforray:** …

 **gayforray:** but yeah I agree, here we’re all nice guys who support women 💪

 **grunt:** hmmmm

 **MissTimeBureau:** Even you, Mick.

 **grunt:** fine

 **grunt:** I like our bathroom anyway

 **notbarryallen:** I agree with that

 **notadick:** you don’t live there anymore

 **Jaxon:** so, neither do i

 **notbarryallen:** I’m a nice guy who supports women

 **notbarryallen:** also [ _image attached_ : fam2.jpeg]

 **notadick:** aw I’m in this one too

 **MissTimeBureau:** <3 <3 <3

 **monalisa:** more cute baby!

 **Trenchcoat:** Just don’t get any ideas, love

 **monalisa:** agdhfngkdscda

 **gare-bear:** adujkfgmerf

**darhkling: 😂😂😂**

**darhkling:** oh john

 **monalisa:** I’m shook but ok

 **monalisa:** I’m not planning to go off my pill

 **Trenchcoat:** Good

 **rayofsunshine:** You don’t like children? You were really good around them. I think you’d make a good dad.

 **Trenchcoat:** It’s not that I don’t like children, I just don’t want any

 **Trenchcoat:** For reasons I don’t have to tell you

 **rayofsunshine:** I still think you’d make a good dad.

 **gare-bear:** We’d make an awesome family

 **gare-bear:** Three cool magician parents can you imagine

 **darhkling:** “three cool magician parents” ok gary

 **Trenchcoat:** I told you not to get any ideas

 **monalisa:** which had a totally opposite effect cause we’re getting them

 **Lancelot:** You’re a little bit ahead of yourselves, don’t you think

 **Trenchcoat:** My words, Sara

 **monalisa:** what about you and ava 👀

 **Lancelot:** …

 **MissTimeBureau:** …

 **rayofsunshine:** You’d also make great moms.

 **QueenZee:** you already are moms to this team so

 **darhkling:** yeah that’s trUE

 **Lancelot:** We haven’t talked about that and we’re not going to in an immediate future

 **MissTimeBureau:** Our lives aren’t suited for raising kids just yet.

 **gayforray:** just yet you said j u s t  y e t

 **Lancelot:** Aves 👀

 **darhkling:** this better be good

 **MissTimeBureau:** I mean, I always wanted to have children? And I don’t know, call me foolish, but I’ve started imagining having them. With you. One day in the future.

 **Lancelot:** Oh

 **Lancelot:** I kinda… need to process this

 **MissTimeBureau:** I’m sorry if I said something I shouldn’t…?

 **MissTimeBureau:** Babe?

 **Lancelot:** I said I needed to process this

 **gayforray:** oh god please don’t pull a sanvers

 **gayforray:** I wouldn’t physically and mentally handle that

 **rayofsunshine:** Me neither.

 **monalisa:** sanvers?

 **QueenZee:** Maggie and Alex broke off their engagement and broke up cause Alex wanted children and Maggie didn’t

 **darhkling:** this… took an unexpected turn

 **MissTimeBureau:** Don’t worry, we’ll talk it through. We’re never breaking up, all right.

 **QueenZee:** don’t you dare break up, yeah

 **Lancelot:** Gee calm down

 **Lancelot:** I love Ava

 **Lancelot:** I’d never

 **MissTimeBureau:** <3

 **Lancelot:** <3

 **Lancelot:** And just for the record, I already have a family

 **Lancelot:** It’s all of you

**gayforray: ❤️**

**rayofsunshine: 🧡**

**darhkling: 💛**

**QueenZee: 💚**

**monalisa: 💙**

**notbarryallen: 💜**

**gare-bear: 💗**

**notbarryallen:** for another record

 **notbarryallen:** @rayofsunshine you’d make the best dad out of everyone

 **QueenZee:** @rayofsunshine @gayforray both of you would

 **QueenZee:** and @darhkling you’d make a great mom for the kid and don’t try and argue with me on that, it’s 100% true

 **darhkling:** jihurgngvgt

 **darhkling:** I…

 **gayforray:** ok you got me there, Z

 **rayofsunshine:** But it’s…… true?

 **rayofsunshine:** I’ve also always wanted to have children. Take them to Disneyland and tell them stories about aliens and time travel and make scientists or doctors or artists out of them and carry on with the Palmer legacy. And I thought I’d make a good dad, because my dad never was, and I want to make sure I’d be the opposite of that.

 **rayofsunshine:** And forgive me if I make premature decisions or something here but I think the same about you, Nate, and for a long time I imagined the whole white picket fence and big house with you and our children. Because we’d make a great family, with our combined intellect and silliness and so, so much love. And then Nora came into the picture and I don’t know, she’s fit right in. She’d cook for our kids and sing them lullabies and play with them in the garden and teach them magic they’d be born with, and we’d teach them history and space and everything. It would be so perfect!

 **rayofsunshine:** Because I love you. Both of you. And I want that, in the future.

 **gayforray:** …

 **darhkling:** …

 **darhkling:** IM FUCKING CRYING DONT DO THIS TO ME RAY

 **gayforray:** me too oh god I just

 **gayforray:** tears

 **gayforray:** happy and sad cause

 **gayforray:** what we do is dangerous and just

 **gayforray:** but I love you so goddamn MUCH and I

 **gayforray:** I’d love to get there with you

 **gayforray:** and Nora

**gayforray: 💖💕💓💞❤️💝**

**darhkling:** I’m not worth this. I’m not this person. I’m just still fucking amazed in you and your faith in me and seeing this

 **darhkling:** my heart wants to have a fucking heart attack

 **darhkling:** I need a moment alone

**rayofsunshine: 💙💚💕💓🧡❤️💛💞💝💖💜**

**monalisa:** catch me crying my eyes out ok this is EMOTIONAL

 **Lancelot:** Yeah, I

 **Lancelot:** Strong words

 **MissTimeBureau:** No one could even interrupt that.

 **QueenZee:** wow I don’t have words

 **QueenZee:** just that I really really want that to be true, dammit

 **QueenZee:** you guys are the best and you deserve that

 **Lancelot:** Now I’m crying too, thanks

 **Trenchcoat:** …

 **grunt:** …

 **smartsnart:** …

 **Jaxon:** …

 **MamaWaverider:** …

 **notadick:** …

 **gare-bear:** My heart’s gonna BURST

 **MiniStein:** MINE TOO

 **MiniStein:** And I already have a baby.

 **notbarryallen:** I didn’t know this would be where that would go and I’m not alright ok

 **monalisa:** yeah no one is coz we suddenly realized our own feeble existence and started to question our lives

 **gayforray:** jesus CALM DOWN LEGENDS

 **gayforray:** or do you need me to smack it out of you???

 **Lancelot:** No we’re fine 😭

 **QueenZee:** totally fine 👍

 **notbarryallen:** just a bunch of grown-ups crying on a wednesday afternoon, nothing to look at

 **notadick:** *exasperated sigh*

 **monalisa:** you fuck off and let us be emotional


	108. [interlude] the future of us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **for Lotfan** , who also asked for a steelatom interlude. sorry it took so long, but i could only find a place for it here
> 
> i recommend listening to lana del rey's young and beautiful while reading this one cos it played when i wrote it (same day as the previous 4 chapters so the emotions were Strong) and it fit perfectly ugh

‘Did you mean it? What you said about us and… family?’ Nate asked. His chin was perched atop Ray’s bare chest and heaved as he breathed. His eyes glistened in the dark bedroom.

Ray took a few moments to contemplate his answer. Then he smiled, wide and raw and honest. ‘Of course I meant it. I love you, Nate, and I’d love to have a family with you one day. And with Nora.’

‘You mean get a big house in the suburbs of DC, or wherever, with a swimming pool and a garden and a dog? All that? The American dream?’ He raised an eyebrow, and Ray thought for a moment he was mocking him. ‘The perfect future?’

‘Call me naive and too optimistic, but—’ His arm, wrapped around Nate’s back under the duvet, moved and went up and down his spine. It sent chills down his body. ‘Yeah. All that. When we’re not Legends anymore.’

Nate turned his head and pressed his cheek against Ray’s heart. He whispered, ‘When you’re not a Legend anymore.’

Ray’s heart skipped a beat. But it was the truth.

‘Yeah. I don’t know when—I mean, there must be a problem that won’t result in a bigger problem, right? Statistically?’

‘Maybe it’ll be this one. So far we’ve only the creatures and one demon. That can’t go _that_ wrong.’

‘I wish,’ Ray said, amused. He did the mental calculation. There were plenty things that could go wrong—especially if Mona was right about a shady operation going on at the Bureau and it proved to be more serious than they currently estimated. ‘That would be nice.’

Ray moved to press a kiss on Nate’s hairline.

‘But when did we ever get what we wanted?’ Nate asked.

‘We didn’t,’ Ray had to agree to the sad truth. Their adventures were the best thing that could happen to any of the team, though there still was a cost to them. Sometimes too high (as they’d all remembered sitting in that circle three days ago). ‘But I’ve got you, and I’ve got Nora, and that’s enough for me. At least for now. In a few years—’

‘Yeah.’ Nate smiled too, now. ‘I’d love to have a family with you, too. More than anything.’ He paused. The smile gave way to a worried look. ‘But that’s exactly why I didn’t want to talk about it, I thought—’

‘That you’d jinx it. That it might not work out in the end. But you gotta see the bright world sometimes, like me! And do everything you can to make it a reality. How do you think I became the CEO of Palmer Tech and invented my suit and became a Legend in the first place? Because I fought for it, despite my brother and middle school bullies and Anna’s death. _Because_ of that.’

(He’d wanted a family with Anna too. It hadn’t worked out, and it had devastated him, so now he fought even ten times harder. He had to.)

Nate snorted—actually snorted. Ray felt his breath on his skin. ‘Ray Palmer, the optimistic sunshine. I wish I were like you, sometimes.’

‘I’m not always like that,’ he admitted. ‘My mental illness—’

Nate has seen all of him. He understood. He stroked his neck from behind. ‘You’re the strongest person I know, and I’m _literally_ made of steel.’

That earned a laugh from Ray. ‘I don’t know, Sara’s pretty much stronger than me.’

‘Let’s call it a tie, okay?’ Nate’s other hand slid down Ray’s abs. He grinned. ‘This is nice, having you all for myself for once. Might not get much of that anymore if we’re supposed to be a big family.’

‘So you really want that? With me?’

‘Okay, okay, don’t be an idiot, I already said I did. I want that dog, and at least three kids, and maybe a fish and a hamster, we’ll see—’

Ray kissed him to shut him up, laughing into the kiss. Nate cupped his face with both his hands and moved his entire body on top of him, running his hands through his hair, embracing him with his legs and with all of himself and future promises and love.

He laughed into the kiss too—enough to break apart and just lay there, their noses pressed against each other, eyes closed. Then he captured his lips again, more ferociously. His teeth clashed against Ray’s. Ray slipped his tongue inside Nate’s mouth; gave all of those cumulated feelings into it. Nate shivered. So, so good.

His left hand ran down his body again and positioned his legs around himself without breaking the kiss. Ray held Nate tight.

He swiftly rolled him on his back. He let go of Nate’s lips and gazed into his eyes.

Nate swallowed. God, he was beautiful. He felt something stir in his stomach; felt himself go hard. ‘Round two?’ he asked in a raspy whisper.

Ray didn’t answer. He moved lower, leaving a trail of kisses down his neck and chest and stomach and thighs and cock, without a word, and then he closed his mouth around him.

‘Oh, yes. Yes, Ray.’ He moaned. ‘Fuck, Ray.’ Again. ‘Fuck, I love you so much.’


	109. we stan a queen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy!

**2019/01/25**

 

 **MissTimeBureau:** Sara won’t stop shoving her icy feet under my blanket, tell her to stop!

 **darhkling:** uh, no

 **QueenZee:** nope

 **gayforray:** you can’t do anything about that

 **Lancelot:** Points for legends

 **Lancelot:** I need to get warm

 **rayofsunshine:** Why do you have icy feet?

 **Lancelot:** Stood too long on the kitchen tiles without slippers

 **QueenZee:** was that like a plan

 **MissTimeBureau:** Was it? On purpose?

 **Lancelot:** No…

 **animalgirl:** Why are you texting if you’re in bed together?

 **trickstergoddess:** hey twin

 **animalgirl:** …

 **animalgirl:** Yes, I know it’s been a while.

 **MissTimeBureau:** For the benefit of the others, of course.

 **smartsnart:** aw, this is love

 **gayforray:** does that mean you’re ok about… you know

 **Lancelot:** Having kids in the future

 **Lancelot:** We spent like two hours talking about it today believe me

 **MissTimeBureau:** Prior to Sara leaving to the kitchen.

 **animalgirl:** You’re thinking about kids? That’s great.

 **rayofsunshine:** They’re not the only ones 😉

 **darhkling:** not to spoil this but the amount of proper grammar is overwhelming ugh

 **notbarryallen:** yeah you snobs

 **Jaxon:** be ashamed smh

 **darhkling:** also we aren’t. not all of us

 **gayforray:** we don’t mean now, Nor

 **rayofsunshine:** Just, someday.

 **smartsnart:** you should talk about it in person

 **MissTimeBureau:** Yes, like us.

 **darhkling:** topic changing master now’s your time

 **rayofsunshine:** I’m thirsty but I don’t want to get up.

 **Trenchcoat:** And leave the sweet embrace of whoever you’re currently sleeping with?

**monalisa: 😂😂😂**

**gayforray: 😉**

**trickstergoddess:** why are you texting if youre in bed together too

 **gayforray:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **Lancelot:** Get up anyway @rayofsunshine

 **gayforray:** but don’t bother me if you get cold feet too

 **rayofsunshine:** That depends, what about?

 **gayforray:** l i t e r a l l y babe

 **gayforray:** but if you get cold feet about getting water I won’t get it for you

 **monalisa:** the english language is weird haha

 **darhkling:** wow, supportive

 **animalgirl:** You would for me.

 **gayforray:** I’m tired, leave me be

 **QueenZee:** you’re tired? you didn’t have to a snowball battle with all the women of arrowverse and fucking catwoman

 **monalisa:** you’re really using the arrowverse thing 😂

 **Lancelot:** I said it, I’m the captain, the word goes

 **animalgirl:** I’m sorry, what’s that now?

 **Trenchcoat:** Don’t mind them

 **QueenZee:** …of all the things I said, that gets commented on

 **MissTimeBureau:** Do you have icy feet because of the battle @Lancelot?

 **Lancelot:** You don’t have to ping me, Aves, I’m next to you

**MissTimeBureau: 🙄**

**monalisa:** lmao

 **notbarryallen:** do you @Lancelot

 **Jaxon:** hes not next to u

 **Lancelot:** Can you blame me that snow got EVERYWHERE

 **monalisa:** everywhere 👀

**smartsnart: 👀**

**Lancelot:** Oh come on

 **darhkling:** but yeah we were all probably wet to our undies so

 **darhkling:** and SHUT UP I know what I said

 **QueenZee:** …

 **gayforray:** …

 **trickstergoddess:** …

 **Trenchcoat:** How did a snowball battle even happen

 **darhkling:** there was lots of snow?

 **QueenZee:** and this one’s got magic

 **Lancelot:** Also Killer Frost was there

 **MissTimeBureau:** [ _image attached_ : snowstorm.jpeg]

 **MissTimeBureau:** [ _image attached_ : saraattacks.jpeg]

 **MissTimeBureau:** [ _image attached_ : unitedforces.jpeg]

 **Lancelot:** No why

 **QueenZee:** you took pictures…

 **darhkling:** the last one 😂

 **monalisa:** dinah and laurel were a force not to be reckoned with

 **animalgirl:** I miss snow…

 **notbarryallen:** I don’t

 **notadick:** we don’t

 **notadick:** we got so much it’s annoying

 **Lancelot:** Iris told us

 **animalgirl:** Wally, give me some snow 🙏🏾

 **notbarryallen:** would if I could girl

 **QueenZee:** do you still miss donuts @animalgirl

 **animalgirl:** Don’t bring that up.

 **darhkling:** hey z can you get some donuts for us

 **MissTimeBureau:** You’re eating donuts at 11 p.m.?

 **darhkling:** not yet

 **QueenZee:** why is everyone lazy to get shit themselves today

 **rayofsunshine:** I did go and get the water.

 **gayforray:** and then had one sip like ARE YOU KIDDING

 **rayofsunshine:** You know I don’t drink as much…

 **gayforray:** but you whined about being thirsty for five mins Ray

 **notbarryallen:** big mood

 **grunt:** you could’ve eaten snow

 **grunt:** same thing

 **QueenZee:** Mick no

 **smartsnart:** would you do it

 **grunt:** course not, I fucking hate winter

 **darhkling:** then why

 **Lancelot:** Never mind

 **animalgirl:** How are your feet?

 **MissTimeBureau:** Better, thanks to yours truly.

 **Lancelot:** She gave in

 **Lancelot:** Better than being tickled

 **gayforray:** excuse me

 **darhkling:** is ava, the director of the time bureau, ticklish

 **gayforray:** oh look we finish each other’s

 **darhkling:** sentences

 **gayforray:** don’t interrUPT ME

 **gayforray:** WORTH IT

 **darhkling:** …

 **notadick:** was this rehearsed

 **gayforray:** no excuse you we’re two rooms apart

 **trickstergoddess:** trouble in paradise

 **gayforray:** no it’s my turn with Ray I get odd days

 **Lancelot:** Certainly is an odd day 😂

 **gayforray:** odd-NUMBERED

 **monalisa:** you do what now

 **darhkling:** we share our boyfriend equally

 **rayofsunshine:** It was my idea!

 **Trenchcoat:** Yeah, only you could think of something so idiotic

 **gayforray:** no it’s not?

 **QueenZee:** hey, you, it makes sense

 **Trenchcoat:** So you get Nora on odd days

 **QueenZee:** yeah???

 **darhkling:** [ _image attached_ : smh.jpeg]

 **Trenchcoat:** Where does Nate sleep on even days

 **gayforray:** the second bed

 **notbarryallen:** you have two beds but when it’s nate’s turn nora is in her and z’s room

 **notbarryallen:** right

 **smartsnart:** because sex, obviously

 **monalisa:** and nora and ray don’t 👀

**darhkling: 😊**

**darhkling:** no…

 **rayofsunshine:** No. And Nate and I don’t have sex every day, Nora stays here too sometimes.

 **grunt:** odd conversation but ok

 **monalisa:** did mick just

 **animalgirl:** This is how I find out Ray’s with Nate _and_ Nora…

 **Lancelot:** You didn’t know

 **animalgirl:** Nate didn’t feel like sharing 👀

 **gayforray:** it never came up 🙃

 **QueenZee:** seriously

 **QueenZee:** who uses that emoji

 **monalisa:** it’s creepy

 **QueenZee:** also you could’ve told her

 **animalgirl:** So could you.

 **darhkling:** hhh we failed to live up to our queens of gossip status

 **Trenchcoat:** you mean kings

 **gayforray:** no, queens

 **notbarryallen:** WE STAN A QUEEN


	110. cue deadpool,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if someone's suddenly ooc i've been reading too many chatfics lately and absorbed them all
> 
> enjoy!

**2019/01/27**

 

 **Trenchcoat:** Why is Nate in the kitchen eating ramen

 **gayforray:** cause we finally built that bathroom

 **Trenchcoat:** That’s relevant how

 **gayforray:** idk man

 **QueenZee:** he felt like remembering his college days or something

 **gare-bear:** Did you also survive college on instant noodle soups???

 **gayforray:** more or less

 **monalisa:** hehe,, yeah

 **darhkling:** but you were rich af

 **gayforray:** and that’s relevant how

**Lancelot: 😂**

**Lancelot:** I lived off Doritos and peanut butter

 **rayofsunshine:** Sometimes I forget Sara also went to college…

 **Lancelot:** HEY RUDE

 **Lancelot:** I’m smart

 **MissTimeBureau:** Very smart, mister graduated-early-from-MIT.

 **Jaxon:** lmao

 **notbarryallen:** lmao

 **Jaxon:** we did it againnnn

 **notbarryallen:** didn’t ava also

 **notbarryallen:** shit never mind

 **darhkling:** well done, wally

 **MissTimeBureau:** Yes, let’s remind everyone my college days are fake.

 **QueenZee:** why so salty

 **MissTimeBureau:** Ugh, Hank is really getting on my nerves again.

 **gare-bear:** Yikes

 **monalisa:** did u tell gary to stay away from him again 😂

 **gare-bear:** She did

 **rayofsunshine:** So, anyway, how’s that investigation of your going?

 **MissTimeBureau:** Not well, with that idiot of a man constantly breathing on my neck.

 **MissTimeBureau:** Sorry, Nate…

 **gayforray:** nope he’s still a douchebag

 **Trenchcoat:** Raise your hand if your old man’s a wanker

**gayforray: ✋**

**gare-bear: ✋**

**rayofsunshine: ✋**

**darhkling: ✋**

**monalisa:** seeing both ot3s here like

 **monalisa:** it tells

**grunt: ✋**

**darhkling:** and you ruined it

 **grunt:** whatever I heard you were having ramen

 **gayforray:** join me big guy

 **smartsnart:** and I heard the bathroom was finished 👀

 **notbarryallen:** you’re fast for non-speedsters

 **Lancelot:** Who says we didn’t have one ;)

 **Lancelot:** Also @MissTimeBureau hang in there, you’re gonna get a proper dose of stress relief when you get home ;)

 **MissTimeBureau:** God, I love you <3

 **Lancelot:** <3

 **monalisa:** otp

 **gayforray:** we’re gonna get stress relief too

 **gayforray:** cause the new tub has WATER JETS LIKE A JACUZZI

 **smartsnart:** not what I expected

 **darhkling:** AND IT ALSO FITS 3 PEPOLE

 **notbarryallen:** pepole

 **darhkling:** it’s not my fault autocorrect doesn’t work with caps ugh

 **Jaxon:** u have autocorrect

 **Jaxon:** losers

 **notbarryallen:** you don’t

 **Jaxon:** no im a skillet typer 

 **QueenZee:** right

 **Jaxon:** *skilled

 **notbarryallen:** more like failed

 **Jaxon:** f off

 **Lancelot:** Anyways have you heard about team flash’s concert payback

 **gayforray:** no 👀

 **rayofsunshine:** You didn’t tell us anything.

 **Lancelot:** Sorry my bad

 **Lancelot:** They’re going to an earth where Freddie is still alive and touring on Saturday and we’re not invited :(

 **QueenZee:** can you blame them

 **QueenZee:** it’s a classic quid pro quo situation

 **gayforray:** why didn’t we take them along before ughhhh

 **grunt:** it’s just a stupid concert

 **darhkling:** not the point,

 **MissTimeBureau:** We’re time travelers, we can see how many concerts we want.

 **Trenchcoat:** Is that your way of saying “screw them”

 **MissTimeBureau:** Yes.

 **monalisa:** dfghfndjslk ok

 **darhkling:** @MissTimeBureau off topic but I’ve been thinking about your nickname for ages and I just got one

 

 **darhkling** _changed_ **MissTimeBureau’s** _name to_ **TimeMom**

 

 **Lancelot:** Time momma ;’)

 **QueenZee:** no cringey emojis…

**TimeMom: 👍**

**notbarryallen:** the caps are kinda killing the aesthetic u know that

 **TimeMom:** Someone has respect for grammar.

 **rayofsunshine:** I don’t mind my nickname!

 **notbarryallen:** but like

 **notbarryallen:** NotBarryAllen

 **notbarryallen:** weird

 **monalisa:** hmm true

 **Lancelot:** What’s gotten into you

 **Lancelot:** It’s always been like this

 **darhkling:** maybe someone told the author to change the nicknames

 **monalisa:** wtf

 **QueenZee:** stop with the “we’re fictional” thing

 **TimeMom:** Technically, a universe where we’re all fictional isn’t so unlikely.

 **gayforray:** we’ve talked about this fgs

 **rayofsunshine:** Okay, but if there’s a universe where we’re fictional, there must be universes where the fictional universes are real.

 **gare-bear:**!!!

 **grunt:** makes sense

 **gayforray:** what

 **Lancelot:** Imagine Dr. Strange portaling himself into our universe like, I need your help defeating Thanos almighty time travelers

 **Lancelot:** Wouldn’t that be cool

 **darhkling:** aLmiGhtY tImE trAveLeRs

 **notbarryallen:** cue deadpool,

 **monalisa:** omg they figured it out, they grow so fast

 **rayofsunshine:** You know, Deadpool has Cable’s time traveling device now. He could save the universe if he gave it to Thor who’d go for the head this time.

 **rayofsunshine:** But they’ll no doubt go for some elaborate plan that will almost fail and won’t bring back Loki because they want to impress the fans with grandeur and effects.

 **gayforray:** whipp e d

**gare-bear** _sent a_ _GIF_

**monalisa:** omf you’re right

 **Lancelot:** Clearly you’ve been thinking about that

 **trickstergoddess:** as you said so many times were time travellers cant we just watch the film now

 **trickstergoddess:** I want loki back alright

 **QueenZee:** we made the no future tv rule once and we won’t break it now

 **trickstergoddess:** aw babe

 **trickstergoddess:** what would happen if we just did that once

 **QueenZee:** a lot could happen

 **TimeMom:** Actually, watching movies that come out in two months is relatively harmless.

 **gare-bear:** Time Mom would know 👀

 **gare-bear:** In fact, I know!

 **darhkling:** will you be too pissed if I say I’ve seen this one too

 **QueenZee:** I mean, same

 **gayforray:** not if you tell us the outcome 👀

 **darhkling:** nuh uh we’ll let you suffer 😉

 **rayofsunshine:** So someone dies.

 **darhkling:** obviously, just not telling who

 **monalisa:** is ironstrange canon

 **monalisa:** or stucky

 **QueenZee:** I’m pretty sure you know the answer

 **monalisa:** :(((

 **notbarryallen:** just read all the fanfics like the rest of us

 **monalisa:** what do u think I’m doing

 **monalisa:** [ _image attached_ : [hsauchatfic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16289576/chapters/38097209).png]

 **Lancelot:** Is that an actual group chat fanfic about the Avengers

 **darhkling:** I’m telling ya,,,

 **gare-bear:** Oof high school AUs bring unwanted memories

 **gare-bear:** Two days ago I had a nightmare about prom

 **monalisa:** oh no darling

 **smartsnart:** were u the nerd no girl wanted to go with

 **gare-bear:** …

 **gare-bear:** That’s uh an understatement

 **rayofsunshine:** Does Earth-X have high school proms?

 **smartsnart:** nope I heard it all from ray

 **gayforray:** imagine nazi earth high schools ugh

 **smartsnart:** saying it was hell would be an even bigger understatement

 **grunt:** you actually went to school

 **smartsnart:** yes and so did my mick

 **grunt:** ugh

 **notbarryallen:** yeah

 **Lancelot:** First we talk about college and now this

 **darhkling:** maybe there’s a college au chatfic about us somewhere out there too

 **Trenchcoat:** I bet we’re not in it

 **monalisa:** that’s not true, you’re the coolest people

 **monalisa:** correction

 **monalisa:** *WE’RE the coolest people 😏😏😉

 **darhkling:** yeah I’m joining in on that bet john

 **darhkling:** texting cisco as we speak

 **gare-bear:** Texting two people at the same time? Wow superpower

 **darhkling:** I’m a warlock hun

 **darhkling:** [ _image attached_ : hesin.png]

 **grunt:** that looks like a really weird word

**Lancelot: 😂**

**gayforray:** he SIN

 **darhkling:** yes he do

 **notbarryallen:** who

 **darhkling:** a mathematician

**rayofsunshine: 😂**

**Trenchcoat:** Help me, I’ve sunk too low

 **monalisa:** why

 **Trenchcoat:** I laughed at that

 **notbarryallen:** welp

 **monalisa:** @darhkling well

 **darhkling:** hang on a minute this will take some time ldmnknfa

 **notadick:** what is this and why am I here

 **notbarryallen:** cause you love me

 **notadick:** I do and jsyk I hate when you’re right

 **notbarryallen:** I do know that lmao

 **notbarryallen:** fancy some authentic and fresh warm chicken noodle soup

 **gayforray:** not fair you’re actually in Korea

 **MamaWaverider:** You could’ve asked me to make that soup for you.

 **gayforray:** shut up I’m having a day

 **rayofsunshine:** He obviously craved cheap instant soup that’s the basic nourishment of college students, so let him have it.

 **gayforray:** sound weird when you put it like that but ok

 **gayforray:** ily <3

 **grunt:** this soup isn’t bad why are you complaining

 **monalisa:** no one actually did

 **monalisa:** so anyways

 **monalisa:** who’s trying the tub first

 **darhkling:** us

 **monalisa:** meaning

 **darhkling:** nate, ray and I obvsly

 **monalisa:** :(

 **Trenchcoat:** Will you go in there naked or

 **gayforray:** JOHN

 **darhkling:** who bathes in swimwear smh

 **QueenZee:** but like

 **rayofsunshine:** Yeah, we get it.

 **darhkling:** it’s not even the first time jesus christ

**Lancelot: 👍😘**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the meta jokes get this intense in every single chatfic ever, and now i know what it means: the author finally lost it
> 
> and i've linked the avengers fic so go read it if you like marvel, it's fucking hilarious and has a sequel that's also updated every other day ;)


	111. who run the world

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy valentine's day 💝 there will be chapters about it, but, y'know, when i actually get to february... uhhhhh....
> 
> in the meantime, enjoy more legends! ily

**2019/01/29**

 

 **gayforray:** so team flash are off ice skating we should do something like that too

 **Trenchcoat:** We do too many team activities for my taste

 **QueenZee:** name some

 **Trenchcoat:** Game night, movie night, meals, laundry

 **Lancelot:** If you say missions

 **Trenchcoat:** Missions

 **TimeMom:** Wait, laundry?

 **darhkling:** chokes on water

 **QueenZee:** do you know nothing

 **TimeMom:** After the freezer business, it doesn’t even surprise me anymore.

 **rayofsunshine:** speaking of the freezer I saw mick put some cake in it, let’s steal it

 **Lancelot:** Ray??? Are you all right

 **rayofsunshine:** oh no this is a stowaway 😉

 **rayofsunshine:** you have three guesses who

 **gayforray:** heyyy Felicity 👋

 **rayofsunshine:** nor fair you knew I was here

 **QueenZee:** what exactly are you doing here

 **rayofsunshine:** She’s come because she needs my help with something.

 **rayofsunshine:** And wants to see the new hot tub, of which she’s totally jealous 😏

 **rayofsunshine:** and to ask sara or ray if they wanted to be in this documentary on vigilantism they’re doing in two weeks

**Lancelot: 👀**

**Lancelot:** What

 **Lancelot:** And how long have you been here exactly

 **rayofsunshine:** 12 mins, give or take

 **QueenZee:** we’re parked in the temporal zone

 **rayofsunshine:** you mean time vortex

 **gayforray:** TIME VORTEX!!!

 **rayofsunshine:** I took the jumpship to get her.

 **grunt:** don’t steal my cake

 **trickstergoddess:** too late

 **QueenZee:** you can have some too I guess

 **grunt:** it’s my cake

 **monalisa:** isn’t it frozen

 **darhkling:** microwaves are a thing

 **MamaWaverider:** Or, the oven that is built in in my mechanisms.

 **rayofsunshine:** yeah I love your ship

 **Lancelot:** This is confusing, let me just

 

 **Lancelot** _added_ **smoakandmirrors** _to_ **The Eyes Emoji Squad**

 

 **smoakandmirrors:** wow deja vu

 **smoakandmirrors:** except you changed the chat name

 **smoakandmirrors:** me approve 👀

 **Trenchcoat:** Can no one here just speak in person anymore

 **notbarryallen:** they’re not in the same room john they’re NOT IN THE SAME ROOM

 **darhkling:** enter a queen

**notbarryallen: 👑**

**monalisa:** this is the opposite of and they were roommates hehehehh

 **Lancelot:** So, what was that about a documentary

 **smoakandmirrors:** it’s to show people a lil of our lives as vigilantes and people and mainly convince the mayor we’re not Bad™

 **monalisa:** Slice of Life™

 **Lancelot:** Sounds gay I’m in

 **notbarryallen:** woohoo

 **gayforray:** that was quick

 **gayforray:** it’s also about Oliver and his work for the SCPD right

 **smoakandmirrors:** yup 👍

 **rayofsunshine:** I’ll be speaking too.

 **Trenchcoat:** Will Bruce be speaking

 **smoakandmirrors:** who do you take us as ofc he will

 **Lancelot:** He’ll meet us all again 👀

 **Lancelot:** Speaking of

 **gayforray:** big meetup big meetUP BIG MEETUP BIG MEE

 **Lancelot:** Clap clap

 **darhkling:** would be easier to use the emoji

**monalisa: 🤣**

**Lancelot:** Kara’s idea

 **smoakandmirrors:** so I’ve heard

 **QueenZee:** not again

 **Trenchcoat:** ^^

 **grunt:** ^^

 **rayofsunshine:** If there won’t be pot brownies and alien alcohol I’m in.

 **gayforray:** high five babe

 **darhkling:** again, would be easier to use the emoji,

 **trickstergoddess:** im not going unless theres pot brownies and alcohol

 **notbarryallen:** lmao

 **Jason:** lmao

 **monalisa:** there are two types of people

 **grunt:** I’m with charlie

 **trickstergoddess:** aw you called me by my name

 **gayforray:** we should watch call me by your name on the next movie night

 **monalisa:** YAS GAYS

**darhkling: 😍**

**Trenchcoat:** Shaking my head

 **monalisa:** just say smh darling smh

 **Trenchcoat:** Don’t call me that, love

 **gare-bear:** Babes

 **Trenchcoat:** …

 **monalisa:** ok I’m quiet

 **Lancelot:** Ok but don’t tell me you don’t wanna watch that movie

 **Trenchcoat:** Who, me

 **darhkling:** no, obama

**Trenchcoat: 🙄**

**gayforray:** did we ever tell you we met young Obama and had to wipe his mind like three times

 **monalisa:** COOL !!

 **rayofsunshine:** Not cool, he was almost killed by Grodd.

 **darhkling:** yeah that was dad’s work

 **darhkling:** and mine

 **darhkling:** sorry

 **QueenZee:** it’s fine, he doesn’t know

 **gare-bear:** He used to be president, he has to know

 **gare-bear:** Aliens, the moon landing, chemtrails, time travel, killer gorillas, all the stuff

 **Trenchcoat:** Not the conspiracy theories again, Gary

 **gayforray:** I should’ve known Gary was into that omg

 **monalisa:** to be fair, bigfoot and chupacabra and yeti are all real

 **monalisa:** so

 **Lancelot:** But the moon landing _was_ real, we know that

 **rayofsunshine:** We were never actually there, though.

 **QueenZee:** who took a part of the spear of destiny from the flag on the moon

 **grunt:** you weren’t even here then

 **QueenZee:** I know all the stories yk

 **rayofsunshine:** I know, but…

 **gare-bear:** See, John, someone here doesn’t think I’m crazy

 **gayforray:** heh

 **gayforray:** hehe

 **QueenZee:** …

 **TimeMom:** …

 **Lancelot:** …

 **Trenchcoat:** I wouldn’t be so sure about that

 **monalisa:** hush and support our boyfriend

 **monalisa:** m r w i z a r d

 **Trenchcoat:** Don’t call me a wizard

 **monalisa:** or

 **smoakandmirrors:** wow tense

 **notbarryallen:** honestly I’m laughing about this

 **smoakandmirrors:** same

 **Lancelot:** Sooooo Felicity are you going to that concert on Sat

 **smoakandmirrors:** you mean with barry and co

 **smoakandmirrors:** undecided

 **QueenZee:** no, you just don’t wanna say you are cause you think that would hurt us

 **gayforray:** and ur right it will but it’s ok

 **rayofsunshine:** We’re the ones who didn’t take you to ’85, like it’s been said many times before.

 **smoakandmirrors:** yeah ofc I’m going it’s queen are you kidding me

 **Lancelot:** :(

 **darhkling:** but there’s always girls’ night

 **smoakandmirrors:** ooh about that

 **smoakandmirrors:** all the gotham ladies will be joining us this time 🦇

 **smoakandmirrors:** I’ve just talked to selina 😺

 **gayforray:** one billionaire wife to another

 **monalisa:** sd,fgsefaw

 **QueenZee:** if Kate’s gonna be there Alex will have a heart attack 😏

 **Lancelot:** I know ;)

 **Lancelot:** So we gotta convince Luci’s gf and Kory and we’re complete

 **smoakandmirrors:** kory might come just sayin

 **TimeMom:** This gets crazier and crazier…

 **smoakandmirrors:** oh! also I’ve heard about some metas or whoever they are in freeland and there are these superhero lesbians

 **smoakandmirrors:** what do u say do we make contact

 **Lancelot:** We gays must stick together!!!

 **QueenZee:** more wlw power please

 **darhkling:** who run tHE WORLD

 **monalisa:** G I R LS

 **darhkling:** that’s our chat nameeee

 **smoakandmirrors:** I’m ON I T

 **smoakandmirrors:** let’s move this to our chat so we wouldn’t hurt the guys’ egos or smth

 **gayforray:** …

 **Trenchcoat:** …

 **gare-bear:** …

 **grunt:** …

 **notbarryallen:** go ahead we love u

 **notadick:** get yourself a maN WHO


	112. food kink day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally it's february in thIS FIC
> 
> idek what is this chapter but. enjoy!

**2019/02/01**

 

**Lancelot:** I’ve just seen John deep-throat a banana and idk if I should be repulsed or turned on

**TimeMom:** Definitely the former.

**darhkling:** what the fuck

**Lancelot:** I just went to the kitchen to get a nice post-mission snack and

**Trenchcoat:** Are you talking about me

**QueenZee:** wow

**monalisa:** he _is_ a warlock

**Trenchcoat:** Admiring my skills, eh

**Lancelot:** I’m sitting with Ray

**gayforray:** wise choice

**gayforray:** so since we missed b99 yesterday

**gayforray:** are we watching today

**darhkling:** no can’t do

**darhkling:** girls’ night at 6

**monalisa:** you know that’s in 41 mins right

**Lancelot:** Chill

**rayofsunshine: 😥**

**notbarryallen:** girls night over b99 my my

**QueenZee:** we can always watch everything on game night

**darhkling:** yes, we gotta meet the new gals

**smoakandmirrors:** hey do you know I’m still here or

**gayforray:** no lmao

**rayofsunshine:** We were gone for three days.

**smoakandmirrors:** yeah ok I was just askin

**Lancelot:** OH MY G

**Lancelot:** Tomato seeds just… spurted out of a tomato Ray’s eating what is today

**Trenchcoat:** Food kink day

**Lancelot:** N O

**Lancelot:** Gros s

**rayofsunshine:** For once I don’t slice my tomato and–

**QueenZee:** is this what we get for laughing at the peach scene from cmbyn

**monalisa:** oh nooiooo

**gayforray: 🍑🍑🍑**

**darhkling: 🍆**

**notbarryallen:** you rly watched that movie

**notbarryallen:** @notadick we should watch that movie

**notadick:** I’m right next to you

**notbarryallen:** it’s like 5 ft but ok

**monalisa:** two bros chilling in a hot tub but 5 ft apart

**Lancelot:** Cuz they’re NOT GAY

**Lancelot:** Except you are heh

**Lancelot:** God we’re so in sync with the other chat

**Trenchcoat:** Don’t mention him or he’ll pop up again

**darhkling:** huh what

**Trenchcoat:** Never mind

**Lancelot:** [ _image attached_ : capitalg.png]

**QueenZee:** dfghjkdmfs

**monalisa:** wait it rly happened 👀

**darhkling:** you know??!?

**monalisa:** johnny told me obvsly

**gare-bear:** Even about the dog thing!!!

**notbarryallen:** when we can talk to the devil then ig

**notadick:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**notadick:** do you have cmbyn on that flash drive

**notbarryallen:** I got all the gay shit babe

**notadick:** good

**monalisa:** mood

**rayofsunshine:** It rhymes!

**gayforray:** heh yeah

**darhkling:** GOOD MOOD

**QueenZee:** did Nora just reshape the language

**notbarryallen:** it will caTCH ON

**Lancelot:** Is it just me or did you start talking more and more like teenagers

**TimeMom:** It’s not just you, babe.

**gayforray:** we all read that avengers fic mona sent the other day

**monalisa:** yea I guess it stuck

**Lancelot:** I read it too and I’m still normal smh

**grunt:** really

**rayofsunshine:** Well, who got high two days ago?

**Lancelot:** MICK AND CHARLIE

**trickstergoddess:** oi blame it on us

**darhkling:** you were fun, cap

**Trenchcoat:** Even funnier trying to fight a headless knight

**Lancelot:** Shut up

**Lancelot:** We got him in the end

**smartsnart:** what were you after, more fairytale characters

**gayforray:** since when are headless knights fairytale characters

**smartsnart:** maybe not on earth 1

**MamaWaverider:** You’d be surprised.

**notbarryallen: 👀**

**MamaWaverider:** They appear in some European myths, and also Harry Potter, for instance.

**grunt:** that’s not a fairytale

**trickstergoddess:** since when are you an expert on those

**darhkling: 👀**

**gayforray: 👀**

**animalgirl:** Mick has always secretly been soft on the inside.

**grunt:** no I ain’t

**rayofsunshine:** You are.

**grunt:** ain’t

**gayforray:** are too

**grunt:** ain’t

**gayforray:** are too 👉👉

**TimeMom:** Seriously?

**rayofsunshine:** Yes, Ava, this is a very serious debate.

**smoakandmirrors:** lmao this is precious

**QueenZee:** so anyway are we meeting Anissa and Grace or

**smoakandmirrors:** nope, they’re busy, but maybe next time

**darhkling:** :(

**gayforray:** who

**darhkling:** the girls we mentioned 3 days ago

**gayforray:** right

**notbarryallen:** have gun

**notbarryallen:** FUN lmao

**Lancelot:** Maybe even a gun who knows

**darhkling:** yes we be dangerous

**QueenZee:** you still aren’t over that

**darhkling:** no 🔥

**gayforray:** she’ll never

**grunt:** FIRE

**grunt: 🔥🔥🔥**

**Lancelot:** Don’t burn anything while we’re gone

**rayofsunshine:** Especially no kitchen equipment.

**grunt:** that was twice

**monalisa:** twi c e

**smartsnart:** that’s not how the expression goes

**QueenZee:** twice and the same thing

**notbarryallen:** toaster?

**QueenZee:** toaster

**Trenchcoat:** Rory doesn’t even eat toast

**darhkling:** no but you do

**grunt:** I eat waffles

**Lancelot:** Who makes waffles in a toaster

**monalisa:** that’s not even the weirdest use of kitchen equipment

**gayforray: 👀**

**rayofsunshine:** 👀

**gare-bear: 😊**

**QueenZee:** ahem

**monalisa:** what

**monalisa:** I meant microwaving old bread and sausages

**notbarryallen:** sureeee

**monalisa:** (☭ ͜ʖ ☭)

**darhkling:** le sigh

**QueenZee:** Nora don’t

**notbarryallen:** omg you know the le thing it’s so old

**darhkling:** there’s a meme museum would you believe

**QueenZee:** she speaks the truth

**notbarryallen:** I mean nora told me

**notbarryallen:** the other nora, my niece, who’s older than me,

**Lancelot:** We appreciate the irony,

**notbarryallen:** but I haven’t seen that in ages hehe

**QueenZee:** since we’re pointing things out the hehe thing is also weird

**gayforray:** yeah, yeah, we get it

**monalisa:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**gare-bear:** Don’t do the Lenny face it’s uncomfortable

**monalisa:** darling that’s the purpose of it

**Lancelot:** I never got it tbh

**gayforray:** yeaH

**gayforray:** just that it was low-key scary

**Trenchcoat:** Haven’t seen it in my life

**monalisa:** darling you’re in for a lecture

**Trenchcoat:** No

**monalisa:** yes

**monalisa:** we can heat some sausages after ;)

**QueenZee:** ugh no what are you DOING

**QueenZee:** WHY DID I HAVE TO READ THAT WITH MY OWN TWO EYES

**darhkling:** bleurgh

**gayforray:** food kink day he said it

**Lancelot:** We Are Leaving Good-Bi


	113. rest in peace, ot3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M LOSING IT. i'm telling you. this fic is my life now. i devote most of my free time to thinking about it and writing it (and the other one). in the words of taylor swift: _look what you made me do_
> 
> (don't get me wrong, i love it. i wrote the (currently) 20th longest fic in the legends fandom, and isn't that something?)
> 
> anyway. enjoy!

**2019/02/02**

 

 **gayforray:** it’s groundhog day!!!

 **gayforray:** and you know what that means!!!

 **rayofsunshine:** We watch Groundhog Day and all the time loop movies!

 **gayforray:** that’s right ;)

 **QueenZee:** no why

 **QueenZee:** don’t remind me that time I was stuck in an ACTUAL TIME LOOP

 **rayofsunshine:** Have you actually watched that movie?

 **gayforray:** no

 **gayforray:** you’re watching the movie

 **Lancelot:** It’s the ship rule, Z

 **QueenZee:** ughhhh I hate you

 **trickstergoddess:** ill watch that film with you and snuggle up to you if that helps ;)

 **QueenZee:** no that will certainly NOT help

 **trickstergoddess:** not even a little bit eh

 **QueenZee:** no! and stop doing that!

 **trickstergoddess:** already working wonders on you and im not even in the room? my my

 **QueenZee:** fuck you, Charlie

 **trickstergoddess:** is that an offer

 **QueenZee:** aaaaarrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhh

 **Lancelot:** The frustration is clear here ;)

 **Trenchcoat:** And the heat

 **grunt:** oh yes

 **gayforray:** did Mick and John agree on something 👀

 **grunt:** go to hell

 **Trenchcoat:** Yeah

 **darhkling:** you did it again

 **smoakandmirrors:** how is no one talking about,, zee and charlie flirting so hard,,,

 **darhkling:** how are you still here

 **smoakandmirrors:** idk no one kicked me out yet and im taking the advantage

 **Lancelot:** That can be easily arranged

 **smoakandmirrors:** hmm no thanks

 **rayofsunshine:** You can stay! You’re weird and funny enough to be a Legend, I would know.

 **smoakandmirrors:** I guess that’s a compliment?

 **gayforray:** yeah

 **darhkling:** how did he date so many people anyway

 **rayofsunshine:** IDK, how am I dating two people at the same time?

 **darhkling:** honestly, idk

 **gayforray:** because you’re a cute lovable puppy and we love you <3

 **monalisa:** these be the two people adhneknfad

 **Trenchcoat:** I bet he’s surprisingly good in bed

 **rayofsunshine:** I’m blushing right now…

 **gayforray:** @Trenchcoat 😉

 **darhkling:** he…hehe… this is uncomfortable

 **Lancelot:** Oh right, you still haven’t jumped at it

 **TimeMom:** You can just say had sex.

 **gare-bear:** Isn’t this like a meme

 **monalisa:** yup lmao

 **darhkling:** we’re just

 **darhkling:** taking it slow

 **QueenZee:** yea and last week you talked about having kids

 **rayofsunshine:** In the FUTURE.

 **TimeMom:** Zari, are you… okay with this?

 **QueenZee:** what why

 **grunt:** coz you dated witch girl

 **darhkling:** do you have a death wish, michael

 **Lancelot:** MICHAEL

 **gayforray:** wait, Mick’s name is actually Michael

 **QueenZee:** you found this out just now????

 **QueenZee:** also yeah I’m okay with it, it’s just

 **QueenZee:** moving on

 **smartsnart:** that’s good to hear

 **smoakandmirrors:** did you even know they’d been together

 **smartsnart:** no

 **smartsnart:** but I offer counsel in all situations

 **smartsnart:** now, my husband is in need of me

 **Lancelot:** Got a dick to suck again

 **smartsnart:** more like a dick to ride 😉

 **Trenchcoat:** I support

 **grunt:** once a bottom

 **gayforray:** WAIT you would actually know that

 **gayforray:** oh my broccoli

 **trickstergoddess:** are you bonkers

 **gayforray:** autocorrect

 **Lancelot:** Is this pre-coffee Nate again

 **TimeMom:** Isn’t it 11 a.m.?

 **gayforray:** got up suuuuper late

 **QueenZee:** yeah guess why

 **TimeMom:** Yesterday was an odd day.

**rayofsunshine: 👍**

**trickstergoddess: 🍆**

**smoakandmirrors:** oh no someone taught charlie emoji speak

 **monalisa:** hello it’s me

 **Lancelot:** Felicity are _you_ okay with Ray and Nate and… this

 **smoakandmirrors:** god I can’t even remember when we were engaged, it’s like, whaaaat

 **rayofsunshine:** That does hurt a bit.

 **smoakandmirrors:** you know what I meant

 **grunt:** z, smoaky and amaya should make an exes group

 **gayforray:** did you just

 **gayforray:** did he have a cool idea

 **grunt:** idk why you’re surprised

 **smartsnart:** never underestimate mick’s intelligence

 **Lancelot:** Didn’t you go away

 **smartsnart:** who says you can’t text while having sex

 **darhkling:** I guess

 **smoakandmirrors:** ok let’s just skip that part and

 **smoakandmirrors:** did mick call me smoaky

 **QueenZee:** it’s funny

 **Trenchcoat:** One of his better nicknames

 **gare-bear:** Look, if you’re salty about that, just change it

 **Lancelot:** No one’s stopping you

 **QueenZee:** except me, I’m stopping you

 **QueenZee:** cause I gave you that name

 **Trenchcoat:** Really

 **grunt:** yeah wasn’t me

 **animalgirl:** Did someone mention me?

 **gayforray:** h o w

 **animalgirl:** I’d say I sensed it all the way across time and space, but…

 **smoakandmirrors:** us girls love gossip and that’s the tea

 **monalisa:** I see what you did here 😏

 **animalgirl:** What do you say @smoakandmirrors @QueenZee

 **smoakandmirrors:** the exes of the ot3: a power group

 **Lancelot:** You should add Kendra

 **QueenZee:** it just occurred to me

 **QueenZee:** why isn’t she here

 **darhkling:** cause we’re dumb idiots

 **rayofsunshine:** Why do I have a feeling you talk to her somewhere else?

 **smoakandmirrors:** we do

 **Trenchcoat:** Rest in peace, OT3

 **monalisa:** lmao

 **smartsnart:** good lord

* * *

 

 **smoakandmirrors** _created a group_

 **smoakandmirrors** _named the group_ **the exes of the ot3: a power group**

 **smoakandmirrors** _added_ **QueenZee** _,_ **animalgirl** _, and_ **hawky** _to_ **the exes of the ot3: a power group**

**QueenZee:** oh no you really did it

 **animalgirl:** Nice ☺️

 **smoakandmirrors:** look it’s just for fun but

 **hawky:** what did you do now

 **QueenZee:** more like, what did they do now

 **smoakandmirrors:** do we know, was there anyone else…?

 **hawky:** more exes? idk

 **hawky:** if you talked about ours…

 **smoakandmirrors:** id rather not

 **QueenZee:** look, I have no other exes but Nora

 **animalgirl:** And mine is dead. And I’m married now.

 **smoakandmirrors:** same

 **hawky:** if I only

 **animalgirl:** Wait, I thought you had an immortal soulmate?

 **hawky:** we’re not immortal, just reincarnating, but idk how it’s now with vandal savage dead

 **hawky:** also I left him

 **smoakandmirrors:** good girl

 **QueenZee:** why aren’t you in the legends chat anyway @hawky

 **QueenZee:** Jax is

 **hawky:** trust me, two are enough

 **animalgirl:** Hmm.

 **smoakandmirrors:** wait you actually do know each other

 **QueenZee:** honey we’re all in the femme squad

 **animalgirl:** And the POC squad.

 **smoakandmirrors:** but kendra hardly talks there…

 **smoakandmirrors:** and I did NOT know about that one

 **smoakandmirrors:** ok never mind let’s chat about those idiots we used to date

 

* * *

 

 **gayforray:** guys we’re so screwed

 **darhkling:** ditto

 **rayofsunshine:** Ditto.

**QueenZee: 👀**

**gayforray:** you did it???

 **smoakandmirrors:** yup 😉

 **Trenchcoat:** If there were a chat for my exes

 **Lancelot:** There wouldn’t because all but two are dead

 **monalisa:** shots fiRED

 **darhkling:** I’m snorting

 **gare-bear:** Really…?

 **Trenchcoat:** Yes, and one of them is you, we all know that

 **rayofsunshine:** Wasn’t there also Oliver, Bruce, and Lucifer? Your sex pentagram?

 **Lancelot:** Look, I was joking

 **gayforray:** yeah, babe, she was joking

 **darhkling:** jesus

**rayofsunshine: 😅**

**Trenchcoat:** Don’t bring him into this

 **QueenZee:** wait

 **Trenchcoat:** It’s not what you think 🙄

 **monalisa:** hmm hmm

 **Trenchcoat:** …

 **Trenchcoat:** You’re horrible

 **smartsnart:** you did this to yourself


	114. this birthday is gonna be epic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I RECOMMEND READING THE LAST 3 CHAPTERS OF THE SPIN-OFF WORK FOR CONTEXT IF U DON'T READ THAT REGULARLY i mean u don't have to but it would make more sense cos both works are somewhat connected, especially now. this chapter also has chats from the fic, like the leaders one.
> 
> enjoy!

**2019/02/04**

 

 **rayofsunshine:** So, Nate’s birthday is this Friday!

 **Trenchcoat:** And

 **darhkling:** we should do something about that

 **gayforray:** hello I’m here

 **gayforray:** not that I mind that you care about me ;)

 **Lancelot:** Should I remove him

 **gayforray:** hey NO

 **QueenZee:** look

 **QueenZee:** we’ll just do a regular Waverider party, right, no big deal

 **smoakandmirrors:** and what does a regular waverider party look like

 **grunt:** we eat and drink and watch movies

 **rayofsunshine:** And usually there are some games.

 **Lancelot:** And sex later

 **gayforray:** separately, of course

 **smoakandmirrors:** yeah ofc it’s not like I got any ideas

 **darhkling:** remember that time we talked about an orgy

 **Trenchcoat:** Yeah

 **monalisa:** no??

 **gare-bear:** You weren’t here then, honey

 **smartsnart:** neither was I 👀

 **smoakandmirrors:** ahem

 **darhkling:** do _you_ want to be removed

 **smoakandmirrors:** …

 **smoakandmirrors:** I mean, I shouldn’t even be here lmao

 

 **Lancelot** _removed_ **smoakandmirrors** _from_ **The Eyes Emoji Squad**

**gayforray:** that’s a first

 **QueenZee:** Felicity, most likely: I will remember this!

 **notbarryallen:** lol that’s likely

 **Lancelot:** Now, where were we

 **gayforray:**  la fête pour moi ;)

 **darhkling:** did someone break the translator matrix

 **MamaWaverider:** We don’t have one.

 **rayofsunshine:** Nor, that was in Star Trek.

 **gayforray:** can’t I randomly speak French

 **TimeMom:** Bien sûr, vous pouvez.

 **gayforray:** thanks

 **gayforray:** at least someone validated me

 **Lancelot:** Stop doing it though

 **Trenchcoat:** For the sake of Ray’s language kink

 **rayofsunshine:** I don’t have a language kink!

 **rayofsunshine:** Where did you get that?

 **Trenchcoat:** You know, you can hear a lot of things on this ship

 **monalisa:** …

 **gare-bear:** …

 **gayforray:** do you want to me to switch to German or

 **QueenZee:** nein

 **TimeMom:** So, about that party.

 **TimeMom:** I suppose you’ll be throwing it on the ship?

 **darhkling:** we literally said that aves

 **Lancelot:** Why you asking

 **TimeMom:** No reason.

 **Lancelot:** I don’t believe you but okay

 **Lancelot:** Friday or Saturday?

 **gayforray:** friday, duh

 **darhkling:** but it’s girls’ night

 **QueenZee:** they’ll survive without us for once

 **rayofsunshine:** Or we could do the big meet-up and merge it with girls’ night and the birthday party!

 **monalisa:** 3 in 1 coffee

 **notbarryallen:** lol

 **Trenchcoat:** What

 **Lancelot:** You think Nate’s ego could handle that

 **Lancelot:** So much attention

 **gayforray:** are you,,, underestimating me and my ability to control myself

 **QueenZee:** clearly

 **Lancelot:** ;)

 **smartsnart:** how many people are we talking about

 **rayofsunshine:** Many.

 **grunt:** why, do you want to come

 **smartsnart:** thinking about it, yeah

 **gayforray:** ooh

 **gayforray:** and bring your Ray ;)

 **Lancelot:** Okay so I’ll breach the subject to the others

 **TimeMom:** It’s “broach the subject”, babe.

 **Lancelot:** So now you’re correcting my grammar

 **QueenZee:** to be fair, there’s a lot of breaching involved around here too

 **notbarryallen:** applause

 **Lancelot:** See, Aves ;)

 **TimeMom:** 🙄

 

* * *

 

**earths’ mightiest heroes**

**Lancelot:** Party on Friday?

 **sunshinegirl:** whoa what’s gotten into you

 **Lancelot:** [ _image attached_ : screenshot.png]

 **bearyallen:** it’s Nate’s birthday?? cool

 **dramaqueen:** So it’s a double party

 **lucinda:** I like that

 **hotwing:** what about him though

 **Lancelot:** Oh Nate will enjoy that

 **bibillionaire:** thinking it’s all about him?

 **sunshinegirl:** you get it 😉

 **inkedandgay:** isn’t this a little rushed

 **bearyallen:** are you actually worse than us and our inability to plan things quickly

 **bibillionaire:** I’ll ask Alfred and Selina

 **Lancelot:** 👍

 

* * *

 

**Tired Parents**

**batdad:** @teamaker @catmom question

 **catmom:** hmm

 **teamaker:** Yes, Master Bruce?

 **batdad:** Sara suggested we do the party this Friday because it’s one of her teammates’ birthday

 **catmom:** I say we go for it

 **gordonbleu:** What’s this about

 **catmom:** doesn’t concern you, jim

 **lesbianaunt:** unless you want to meet the heroes that actually keep their criminals at bay and help their cities

 **batdad:** I do all that!

 **kingofgotham:** No, you don’t.

 **gordonbleu:** Oswald’s right

 **catmom:** well, I know for a fact that the girls are awesome @thedoctor @lesbianaunt

 **thedoctor:** is it about girls’ night

 **thedoctor:** I’m interested

 **lesbianaunt:** you don’t have to tag me, I know everyone there

 **gordonbleu:** Really

 **batdad:** I know only seven of them and that’s enough…

 **kingofgotham:** Poor Bruce.

 **kingofgotham:** Well, Ed and I have no desire to meet any of the do-gooders, so do what you will.

 **teamaker:** Yes, that’s the plan.

 **batdad:** so that’s a yes

 **catmom:** I said I was fine with it

 **batdad:** alright

 

* * *

 

**earths’ mightiest heroes**

**bibillionaire:** the batfam are in

 **bearyallen:** nice!!!

 **sunshinegirl:** (((o(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)o)))

 **Lancelot:** You say Batfam but you only asked Alfred and Selina

 **hotwing:** it’s their opinion that matters ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **inkedandgay:** [ _image attached_ : screenshot.png]

 **dramaqueen:** “tired parents”

 **Lancelot:** More importantly, Penguin is in that group

 **bibillionaire:** why not

 **bearyallen:** isn’t he a psychopath

 **inkedandgay:** well

 **hotwing:** what makes you think so

 **Lancelot:** History

 **bibillionaire:** nah, Ed and he are mostly nice, as long as they get to keep the criminal underground

 **bibillionaire:** we’re cooperating

 **bibillionaire:** and our kids are friends

 **sunshinegirl:** your what are who now

 **dramaqueen:** They have kids

 **hotwing:** two

 **hotwing:** martin taught me sign language

 **hotwing:** and gert is rachel’s best friend

 **sunshinegirl:** oh yeah she mentioned her once

 **Lancelot:** Gert like in Runaways

 **inkedandgay:** basically

 **bearyallen:** you know runaways???

 **Lancelot:** It’s gay ofc I do

 **inkedandgay:**  🏳️‍🌈

 **hotwing:** mood

 **lucinda:** _mood_ , what does that mean

 **lucinda:** you keep using it

 **bibillionaire:** yeah

 **bearyallen:** it means “I can relate” or smth like that

 **lucinda:** mood

 **sunshinegirl:** he’s gonna use it all the time now you know that

 **Lancelot:** 😂

 **Lancelot:** So anyways, I gotta get back to my group with results

 **Lancelot:** We’ll talk later over that pizza

**bearyallen: 👋**

* * *

 

 **Lancelot:** Results

**gayforray: 👀**

**QueenZee: 👀**

**rayofsunshine:** 👀

 **Lancelot:** The leaders agreed

 **gayforray:** this birthday is gonna be epic

 **darhkling:** and more chaotic than new year’s day istg

 **notbarryallen:** that’s the good thing 😉

 **Lancelot:** Are you perchance coming

 **notbarryallen:** no…

 **notadick:** no

 **notbarryallen:** sorry 😞

 **Jaxon:** i might come

 **QueenZee:** good cause we automatically count you in for these things

 **smartsnart:** ray and I will talk about it

 **Lancelot:** Cool

 **Lancelot:** Now, let the leaders chat serve its actual purpose for once

 **monalisa:** ?

 **Lancelot:** We gotta talk food n shit again 😂

 **Trenchcoat:** How was that two months ago

 **gayforray:** yeah

 **darhkling:** @rayofsunshine it’s our two months anniversary on sunday ❤️

**rayofsunshine: 💕**

**trickstergoddess:** oh bollocks youre that kinda couple

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> la fête pour moi = the party for me  
> bien sûr, vous pouvez = of course you can


	115. [interlude] solace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **for Vewe04** , who asked for an avalance interlude. i hope you like it! enjoy!
> 
> (i'm really tired today and feeling the beginning of a cold and a sore throat and i don't feel like doing anything but browsing funny stuff on pinterest and i only have one chapter left, a chapter i need to rewrite to boot, so idk how it'll be with the party, i really don't. i don't even know how to start.)

It came with a kiss on her shoulder. ‘Are you okay, babe?’

She skimmed through the files again; a frown crumpled her brow. But she said, ‘Uh, yeah, of course. It’s just,’ her hands vaguely pointed at the materials in her lap, ‘this. I can’t get the hang of it—’

Sara’s chin leant on the shoulder. She peered at the file too, searching for answers she wouldn’t find. ‘So this is the only thing that’s been on your mind for three days,’ she said. ‘Are you sure?’

Ava turned her head. She scanned Sara’s expression—and the freckles, oh God, she was so close, so adorable—what are you doing, focus—and the fierce blue eyes. ‘Yeah!’ she said.

Sara raised her eyebrow. She was way too good. ‘Aves. I know you.’

Ava continued to stare for at least twenty seconds.

Then her shoulder slumped and all air escaped her lungs.

‘Okay, no, you’re right. It’s the party—I’m not—’ She closed the file. Her fingers ran down the manila paper with a soft sigh. ‘Being around too many people makes me anxious.’

‘Oh.’ Sara hugged her from behind and pressed another kiss on her neck. ‘I—I didn’t realise. I’m sorry, Aves—’

‘Don’t be,’ Ava cut her off. ‘Don’t apologise for something that isn’t your fault and that you can’t do anything about. I can handle it. I’m just not too happy about spending a day with 80 other people at one manor when there’s alcohol involved.’

It was almost as twice as many as there had been at STAR Labs in December.

‘That’s why you asked about the ship.’

‘Yeah.’

She knew this was Sara, and that she could tell her anything, but she still felt uncomfortable in her own skin right now. She was a clone with a mild case of anxiety attacks—

‘I’ll be there with you, Ava. The whole time. Won’t leave your side.’

‘You’d do that for me?’ She wanted to turn round, but Sara’s embrace held her tight in place. She put her hand over Sara’s instead. She’d also swear her voice broke a little.

‘At least you’d keep me in check,’ Sara joked.

‘That’s true. No alien alcohol for you, miss.’ Ava was almost certain Sara rolled her eyes.

‘Yes, sir, aye, sir!’ she breathed into her hair. Her fingers found Ava’s. They tangled together. ‘No, really. I’d do anything for you,’ she said after a while. ‘Call me cheesy—and boy, would my past self kick my ass for saying this—but you’re my whole world, Ava.’

One heartbeat, two.

‘Sara?’

‘Hmm?’

‘I love you so fucking much.’

She disentangled their hands and placed the files, still lying in her lap, on the floor. She finally faced Sara—and pushed her down onto the mattress.

(Let her worry again tomorrow.)


	116. we're slaying it today

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> READ THE LAST 2 CHAPTERS OF SCTGNTTB THE PARTY'S THERE
> 
> i apologise for not updating this for so long but i got too invested in the other chats and attached to the batfam that i'd rather write that than this lol but i couldn't do that to you or myself so i got to it and wrote a chapter and i love it so i hope you enjoy it! 
> 
> and pls leave a comment! i'm 34628x more motivated if i get them!

****2019/02/09** **

 

 ** **gayforray:****  I CALLED IT

 ** **gayforray:**** THIS BIRTHDAY WAS EPIC

 ** **monalisa:****  we had sex aT WAYNE MANOR

 ** **gare-bear:****  Goals

 ** **gayforray:****  I know ;))

 ** **QueenZee:**** gross

 ** **notbarryallen:**** nate, mona & gary???

 ** **monalisa:**** asdjefernr no

 ** **monalisa:**** me and the bois

 ** **Trenchcoat:**** Don’t call me that

 ** **gayforray:**** WALLY

 ** **notbarryallen:**** yeah

 ** **QueenZee:**** don’t you have questions

 ** **notbarryallen:**** you mean

 ** **notbarryallen:**** [ _image attached_ : screenshotgallery.png]

 ** **notadick:**** screenshot2

 ** **darhkling:**** wow

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** Was it Iris?

 ** **notbarryallen:**** barry lmao

 ** **Lancelot:**** I SURVIVED

 ** **QueenZee:**** the queen is back

 ** **TimeMom:**** [ _image attached_ : home.jpeg]

 ** **smartsnart:**** how was the breakfast

 ** **Lancelot:**** Surprisingly invigorating

 ** **Lancelot:**** Alfred has this kicker hangover cure

 ** **MamaWaverider:**** Better than my soup?

 ** **Lancelot:**** Yes :)

 ** **darhkling:**** who’s suddenly terrified

 ** **notadick:**** you had breakfast at the manor

 ** **notadick:**** with the family

 ** **Lancelot:**** It was fun

 ** **gayforray:**** tell tell

****monalisa: 👀** **

****Lancelot:**** [ _image attached_ : lovebirds.jpeg]

 ** **QueenZee:**** is that Alex?? with Kate??? being romantic?

 ** **smartsnart:**** I’m proud of the lesbians

 ** **Lancelot:**** Also a dragon stole a plate of burritos and I didn’t take a pic cause I was too tired and slow

 ** **gayforray:**** tired and slow

 ** **gayforray:**** you

 ** **Trenchcoat:**** Alien booze does that to even the best of us

 ** **notbarryallen:**** hang on a DRA G O N

 ** **monalisa:**** yeah!! he’s so awesome

 ** **monalisa:**** I’d adopt him in a sec

 ** **notadick:**** Damian’s?

 ** **Lancelot:**** Yeah

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** Didn’t he have him on Earth-18?

 ** **notadick:**** no

 ** **notadick:**** but he did collect pets so

 ** **Lancelot:**** When I first met him he was a murderous 4-year-old and look at him now, a pet dad

 ** **Lancelot:**** Still murderous, but it’s an improvement

 ** **darhkling:**** nora approves

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** Speaking of the Bat Fam, don’t you think Alfred looks a lot like the Third Doctor?

 ** **gare-bear:**** Ikr

****Lancelot: 😂😂😂** **

****Lancelot:**** We talked about that like a month ago

 ** **Lancelot:**** Earths’ mightiest gays

 ** **gayforray:**** omfg

 ** **smartsnart:**** I like the name

 ** **notbarryallen:**** hell y e s

 ** **Lancelot:**** Anyway, what’s up with y’all

 ** **darhkling:**** right, you’re not here

 ** **QueenZee:**** we’re watching videos from the party

 ** **gayforray:**** in the kitchen

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** It’s lunchtime.

 ** **Lancelot:**** I had breakfast 2 hours ago…

 ** **smartsnart:**** clearly that was a brunch

 ** **notbarryallen:**** it’s 3 am here but ok

 ** **Trenchcoat:**** Go to sleep, kid

 ** **notbarryallen:**** nope I stayed up for the gossip

 ** **trickstergoddess:**** what do you wanna know

 ** **darhkling:**** *what else

 ** **Lancelot:**** OH

 ** **Lancelot:**** Two paintings and a vase were stolen during the party

****notbarryallen: 👀** **

****gayforray:**** you forgot to mention that

 ** **TimeMom:**** What?

 ** **Jaxon:**** srsly

 ** **darhkling:**** how

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** Was it Mick?

 ** **grunt:**** no, I don’t care for paintings

 ** **QueenZee:**** right

 ** **Lancelot:**** No one knows how

 ** **darhkling:**** well, when all the present cops got hammered

 ** **Lancelot:**** Yeah what do you think I’ve been doing when I found out

 ** **grunt:**** laughing in their face

 ** **Lancelot:**** :’)

 ** **grunt:**** good girl

 ** **monalisa:**** which paintings were they

 ** **Lancelot:**** Some Van Gogh and something else, idk

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** Van Gogh? An original?

 ** **gare-bear:**** It hung in the room we uhhh

 ** **Trenchcoat:**** Shagged in

 ** **gare-bear:**** Yeah

 ** **monalisa:**** but it wasn’t us!!!!!1!

 ** **gayforray:**** we know, guys

 ** **darhkling:**** you’re all too innocent to pull something like that

 ** **Trenchcoat:**** I beg your pardon

 ** **TimeMom:**** Not you.

 ** **Trenchcoat:**** Ta

 ** **QueenZee:**** was that

 ** **QueenZee:**** was that a compliment

 ** **monalisa:**** it was but it totally isn’t truuuuu

****monalisa: 😅😅😅😅** **

****Trenchcoat: 🙄** **

****gayforray:**** omg all of the charades game is on jason’s instagram stories and all the comments are just 👌😂

 ** **notadick:**** you follow them on instagram

 ** **gayforray:**** I do as of today

 ** **Lancelot:**** We made new friends

 ** **Lancelot:**** Your bad for not being there

 ** **notbarryallen:****  if I had a pizza every time someone said this to me I’d have lunch and dinner

 ** **gare-bear:**** Two pizzas?

 ** **notbarryallen:**** no five

****monalisa: 😂** **

****darhkling:****  #speedsterlife

 ** **QueenZee:**** do NOT use hashtags pls

 ** **Jaxon:**** #screwyou

 ** **Lancelot:**** #whynot

 ** **gayforray:**** #woke

 ** **trickstergoddess:**** are you bonkers why are you doing that

 ** **QueenZee:**** you’re on my side???

 ** **trickstergoddess:****  why yes sweetheart ;)

 ** **QueenZee:**** sdnfjgtrhgfds

 ** **monalisa:**** #gay

 ** **TimeMom:**** Honestly though, stop that.

 ** **gayforray:**** :(

 ** **MamaWaverider:**** #why #should #we

 ** **monalisa:**** I lost itmfnkffffffd

 ** **darhkling:**** gideon that’s not how you use tags but ok

 ** **Lancelot:**** I almost backflipped

 ** **smartsnart:****? why

 ** **grunt:**** gideon rocks

 ** **MamaWaverider:**** Thank you.

 ****gayforray:** ** did you mean:  _gideon ** **slays** **_

****monalisa:**** goddess

 ** **trickstergoddess:**** what do you want

****QueenZee: 😂** **

****monalisa:**** ahjkflgtf

 ** **monalisa:**** not you sorry

 ** **trickstergoddess:**** im offended

 ** **gayforray:**** we’re slaying it today

 ** **Lancelot:**** That’s probably the residual alcohol

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** The happy high.

 ** **gayforray:**** the love high

 ** **Trenchcoat:**** The sex high

 ** **QueenZee:**** hello I’m sober

 ** **gayforray:**** hello Sober I’m Nate

 ** **notbarryallen:**** facepalm

 ** **darhkling:**** dad did that to me once

 ** **rayofsunshine:**** And you did to me.

 ** **gayforray:**** we be the trio

 ** **darhkling:**** @Lancelot the award for the favorite ot3 goes to US

 ** **Lancelot:**** Good I didn’t ask for it

 ** **Trenchcoat:**** Are you sure

 ** **monalisa:**** maybe bruce and oliver did ;)))

 ** **Lancelot:**** I was assured NOTHING HAPPENED so please

 ** **TimeMom:**** Yes, Sara is mine so leave her alone.

 ** **QueenZee:**** wait, does that mean

 ** **QueenZee:**** @darhkling @gayforray @rayofsunshine

 ** **gayforray:**** that we accepted our destiny and do it all with each other?

 ** **darhkling:**** no

 ** **gayforray:**** cause no

 ** **darhkling:**** but we’re better than the nerd trio

 ** **Trenchcoat:**** Who are you calling a nerd

 ** **TimeMom:**** You specifically.

 ** **monalisa:**** lmao always a good time to troll our boyfriend

 ** **gare-bear:****  Nerd triooooo

 ** **Trenchcoat:**** I’m disowning you

 ** **monalisa:**** darling you’d have to marry us first

****smartsnart: 👀** **

****Lancelot: 👀** **

****QueenZee: 👀** **

****gare-bear: 👀** **

****Trenchcoat:**** Sod you all

 ** **gayforray:**** the good mood is back

 ** **darhkling:**** GOOD MOOD

 ** **Lancelot:**** Why aren’t those words pronounced the same

 ** **notbarryallen:**** sara, asking the real questions

 ** **gayforray:**** guud muud

 ** **Trenchcoat:**** Cos then it would be gooed mood you twats

 ** **QueenZee:**** what about blood though

 ** **Lancelot:**** The blood flood was in a good food mood and stood on the wood hood Ood

 ** **monalisa:**** try and say that with a scottish accent

 ** **Jaxon:**** wut did u drink again???


	117. get some

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idek what this is even about. and jsyk i dyed my hair purple today so there's that (i always had pink)
> 
> enjoy & gimme some love <3

**2019/02/10**

 

 **gayforray:** so how’s the investigation going

 **Lancelot:** Ask them

 **gayforray:** there’s too much chaos and distraction

 **QueenZee:** uh you’re right

 **rayofsunshine:** Forensics swept the place today and didn’t find anything useful. Yet.

 **gayforray:** ok thanks

 **grunt:** yeah I didn’t think so

 **darhkling:** who left empty pistachio shells on the kitchen FLOOR

 **QueenZee:** guess

 **darhkling:** MICK

 **darhkling:** I STEPPED ON THEM

 **grunt:** wear shoes then

 **darhkling:** at night? in the dark? I’m gonna put shoes on? sure

 **Lancelot:** It’s logical though

 **darhkling:** what are you spock now

 **Lancelot:** 🖖

 **QueenZee:** someone’s been watching star trek with the nerd bros

 **gayforray:** always

 **grunt:** old or new

 **rayofsunshine:** Mick???

 **gayforray:** the original series ofc

 **rayofsunshine:** Mick knows Star Trek?

 **grunt:** I do, why

 **darhkling:** uncharacteristic

 **notbarryallen:** what time is it in the states

 **Lancelot:** Almost midnight, why

 **notbarryallen:** oh nothing

 **darhkling:** yes, I was gonna have a midnight snack

 **darhkling:** CLEAN UP UR PISTACHIO SHELLS MICK

 **QueenZee:** also crumbs

 **Lancelot:** You midnight snacking together

 **QueenZee:** no but you can always expect crumbs

 **darhkling:** true

 **grunt:** it’s not my duty to clean is it

 **MamaWaverider:** No, but that does not mean you don’t have to do it.

 **grunt:** gggghhhhhh

 **notbarryallen:** now I’m craving pistachios, thanks

 **notadick:** he punched me in the arm bc of it

 **Lancelot:** Yikes

 **gayforray:** get some then

 **darhkling:** lmao very subtle

 **gayforray:** as subtle as Kirk and Spock’s love for each other ;)

 **QueenZee:** wow

 **notadick:** hmm we might

 **Lancelot:** Pistachios or dick

 **notbarryallen:** I see what you did here 😂

 **notadick:** sure, give me all the dick jokes

 **notadick:** my e-1 counterpart must be really happy about those

 **gayforray:** he actually makes them himself most of the time

 **notbarryallen:** huh

 **darhkling:** whose duty _is_ it to clean this week

 **rayofsunshine:** John’s.

 **Lancelot:** That explains it

 **QueenZee:** anyone else notice the absence of the whole trio

 **gayforray:** they’re getting it onnnnnnn

 **notbarryallen:** 🍆🍑🍆

 **QueenZee:** I’ll never get that image out of my head

 **trickstergoddess:** what, some fruit emojis

 **QueenZee:** you know what I mean

 **trickstergoddess:** why don’t you come and tell me

 **QueenZee:** only in your dreams

 **trickstergoddess:** oh if you knew what happened in my dreams

 **QueenZee:** nightmares

 **Lancelot:** Wow that cuts deep

 **trickstergoddess:** …

 **trickstergoddess:** and other things ;)

 **QueenZee:** I rather wouldn’t

 **gayforray:** girl

 **gayforray:** do us all a favor

 **gayforray:** when your enemy starts shamelessly flirting with you like, every day

 **rayofsunshine:** Look, they’re pulling a you and me.

 **Lancelot:** What

 **notbarryallen:** they a r e

 **QueenZee:** gah why does this feel like september all over

 **QueenZee:** leave me alone everyone

 **darhkling:** I didn’t say anything

 **QueenZee:** not you, you’re a sweetheart

 **Lancelot:** It’s like September but the roles are reversed

 **trickstergoddess:** what’s this rubbish about, z and nora dating

 **darhkling:** actually yeah

 **darhkling:** now tell me one thing, charlie

 **darhkling:** are you playing with her or are you serious

 **trickstergoddess:** why I dont have to answer to you

 **QueenZee:** and that says it all doesn’t it

 **QueenZee:** there’s no need to bother

 **gayforray:** wait, is there a deeper meaning to that

 **QueenZee:** nope

 **Lancelot:** Are you… interested

 **QueenZee:** leave me the fuck alone, have you learned nothing

 **rayofsunshine:** I respect you, Z. This is all between you and Charlie.

 **QueenZee:** for the MILLIONTH time there’s NOTHING to talk about

 **notbarryallen:** we’re angsty today

 **gayforray:** did you get some

 **notbarryallen:** [ _image attached_ : nuts.jpeg]

 **Lancelot:** Thank god for innuendos

 **notadick:** did you really call that “nuts”

 **notbarryallen:** won’t pass the opportunity, will I, babe

 **gayforray:** you’re so great

 **notadick:** thanks?

 **grunt:** I want more pistachios now

 **Lancelot:** You know the answer to that

 **gayforray:** GET SOME

 **trickstergoddess:** with me?

 **grunt:** want a beer too

 **trickstergoddess:** sure, big guy

 **QueenZee:** (see)

 **Trenchcoat:** What’s going on here

 **Lancelot:** Counseling

 **rayofsunshine:** John, go clean the kitchen. You were supposed to do that yesterday.

 **Trenchcoat:** It’s 12:06, it’s not my duty anymore

 **gayforray:** oh you bastard

 **notbarryallen:** is it your turn

 **gayforray:** *sigh* obviously

 **rayofsunshine:** It’s okay, it can wait till morning.

 **Trenchcoat:** And suddenly it can

 **darhkling:** boyfriend privileges

 **monalisa:** is someone mad at johnny

 **grunt:** are you done fucking him

 **monalisa:** exCuSe Me

 **monalisa:** well we were but

 **gayforray:** oh don’t mind him, it’s all about the pistachios

 **gare-bear:** What pistachios

 **darhkling:** mick’s

 **Lancelot:** So now you’re all here

 **Trenchcoat:** Got a problem

 **notadick:** you’re in one bed

 **monalisa:** how

 **notadick:** educated guess

 **gare-bear:** I’m too exhausted to like actually talk

 **notbarryallen:** ooh

 **Trenchcoat:** I’m no amateur

 **monalisa:** hah

 **smartsnart:** why the fuck are you all talking

 **Lancelot:** Oh look who joined this tragic convo

 **QueenZee:** forgive me for being realistic smh

 **gayforray:** no I’m sorry okay

 **rayofsunshine:** @smartsnart ditto.

 **smartsnart:** my phone is vibrating real loud

 **monalisa:** this is where I say, lmao

 **darhkling:** ok but

 **darhkling:** did ray just inadvertently say fuck

 **rayofsunshine:** I did not.

 **gayforray:** kinda did so

 **grunt:** yeah

 **trickstergoddess:** im proud of you

 **rayofsunshine:** I didn’t do anything?

 **smartsnart:** you dittoed my sentence so

 **rayofsunshine:** I guess I did.

 **QueenZee:** he admits it

 **Lancelot:** What a day

 **gayforray:** night

 **notbarryallen:** or actually 😅

 **gayforray:** well, somewhere it is

 **notadick:** you should sleep

 **darhkling:** or we could continue watching star trek

 **rayofsunshine:** Good idea!

 **gayforray:** PUNCH IT RAY

 **gayforray:** I’ll fabricate us some shell-less pistachios

 **darhkling:** you’re a saint

 **Lancelot:** And you’re all tragic

 **darhkling:** that’s who we are and we own it

 **gayforray:** team trash humans

 **gayforray:** who wants coffee with those nuts

 **rayofsunshine:** Me.

 **darhkling:** you know how I like it

 **QueenZee:** new chat title: team trash humans

 **notbarryallen:** fitting

 **monalisa:** so who’s gonna do it

 

 **gayforray** _changed the group’s name to_ **Team Trash Humans**

**Lancelot:** Yay we go

 **darhkling:** we own it baby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> obviously i'm rewatching star trek lol


	118. jot that down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic hit 150k words!!! idek how but wow
> 
> and guys, this was a long time coming...
> 
> i hope you enjoy!

**2019/02/13**

 

 **rayofsunshine:** MY BATTERY IS LOW AND IT’S GETTING DARK

 **rayofsunshine:** WHY IS IT SO SAD

 **grunt:** your whole life is sad

 **gayforray:** no mick you don’t GET IT

 **gayforray:** IT’S OPPY THE MARS ROVER

 **gare-bear:** I read the news!!!

 **monalisa:** ik it’s so human

 **gayforray:** who programmed the robot to be like this :(((

 **rayofsunshine:** WHY DID THEY LEAVE HER

 **smartsnart:** I’ve never seen you use capslock are you alright

 **rayofsunshine:** NO

 **Lancelot:** Guys it’s just a space probe

 **gayforray:** just a spaCE PROBE (┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻

 **darhkling:** the nerds are on fire

 **monalisa:** damn straight this is IMPORTANT

 **monalisa:** it happened a day before valentine’s day

 **TimeMom:** Did anyone else think of our own robots and AIs?

 **MamaWaverider:** I certainly did.

 **rayofsunshine:** How could we not?

 **darhkling:** idk it’s ancient history for me

 **gayforray:** noah fence but you’re heartless

 **darhkling:** maybe lmao

 **Trenchcoat:** So much fuss over a space probe

 **notbarryallen:** ig there are two types of people

 **Lancelot:** Yeah, nerds and us regular mortals

 **QueenZee:** so nerds are immortal

 **Lancelot:** You’re twisting my words

 **gayforray:** damn right we’re immortal ;)

 **gayforray:** but guess what isn’t

 **gayforray:** MARS ROVERS

 **rayofsunshine:** Crazy idea: we should go and save Oppy.

 **gayforray:** we have a spaceship we have a spaceSHIP WE HAVE A

 **Trenchcoat:** You can’t be serious

 **monalisa:** oh this is serious

 **gare-bear:** But what about the Martians

 **gare-bear:** Aren’t they evil

 **Lancelot:** There are no Martians in this universe, Gary

 **rayofsunshine:** Maybe they’re just hiding.

 **monalisa:** yeah I mean

 **monalisa:** doesn’t mean aliens aren’t there just cuz we didn’t meet any

 **grunt:** she’s right

 **gayforray:** why am I scared

 **QueenZee:** you should be

 **TimeMom:** Mona is right, the fact we don’t have Kryptonians here doesn’t necessarily mean Krypton doesn’t exist, it more likely means that it hadn’t blown up and they’d stayed there.

 **smartsnart:** damn

 **notbarryallen:** this is deep

 **notbarryallen:** and sad

 **gayforray:** thanks I’m sad again

 **gare-bear:** Aliens. Real. I said it

 **Trenchcoat:** You just love conspiracy theories

 **monalisa:** did we have this conversation before

 **darhkling:** we did

 **rayofsunshine:** Gideon, are there aliens in space?

 **MamaWaverider:** Providing the answer would be, as you call it, spoilers.

 **Jaxon:** jfc if its too early for the answer it means its yes

 **notbarryallen:** basically

 **gayforray:** so in conclusion

 **gayforray:** I think we can risk running into some white martians, we’ve dealt with worse things

 **QueenZee:** yeah piece of cake

 **grunt:** I want cake

 **darhkling:** you really wanna go and get the probe

 **rayofsunshine:** Yes!

 **darhkling:** babe you’re insane

 **Lancelot:** Wellllll

 **TimeMom:** For once I agree with this plan.

 **QueenZee:** JOT THAT DOWN

 **gayforray:** Tony Stark would 100% support

 **rayofsunshine:** [ _image attached_ : nerdsquadagrees.png]

 **gayforray:** HOW AM I NOT IN THAT CHAT AND MONA IS

 **monalisa:** excuse me?????

 **gayforray:** sorry you know what I meant

 **rayofsunshine:** Shoot! I’ll add you <3

 **gayforray:** thanks  <3 but I’ll remember this

 **darhkling:** wow it’s getting heated

 **gayforray:** I’m sorry, do you have something to say

 **darhkling:** no nothing

 **smartsnart:** all the people crying over a rover, it’s so moving

 **Lancelot:** Do you even have those things on your earth

 **smartsnart:** no

 **smartsnart:** we have more advanced tech

 **notbarryallen:** burnnnn

 **notbarryallen:** wait this is snart

 **notbarryallen:** iceeeee

 **darhkling:** ಠ_ಠ

 **notbarryallen:** what, it was a joke

 **smartsnart:** ha ha ha

 **monalisa:** oh the sarcasm

 **monalisa:** so hey when are we going to mars

 **gayforray:** right now

 **Trenchcoat:** Bloody hell

 **QueenZee:** right now?? I haven’t finished my danish

 **rayofsunshine:** Come to the bridge in 10.

 **gayforray:** 👍

 **trickstergoddess:** what the fuck did I just read

 **Trenchcoat:** That about sums it up

 **darhkling:** we’re going to mars baby

 **trickstergoddess:** alright whatever ill be drinking in the parlour

 **notbarryallen:** noodles

 **notbarryallen:** *mood

 **monalisa:** autocorrect ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **QueenZee:** anyways Wally what are you up to

 **notbarryallen:** it’s 4 am and I’m running on coffee 👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾

 **gayforray:** why

 **notbarryallen:** it’s valentine’s day my dudes

 **notbarryallen:** I’m planning a super secret surprise for my amazing bf ™

 **Lancelot:** Goals

 **darhkling:** are you planning anything 👀

 **Lancelot:** Why would I tell everyone

 **QueenZee:** cause these bitches love the gossip

 **monalisa:** yes ye syes

 **TimeMom:** 😏

 **gayforray:** ooohhhhhh

 **gayforray:** someone’s gonna have a romantic dinner and kinky sex 👀

 **monalisa:** adknfjnjnfkwfmef

 **darhkling:** so you too huh

 **gare-bear:** Ehhhhh

 **gare-bear:** John doesn’t celebrate it

 **grunt:** smart guy

 **Trenchcoat:** Never thought I’d say that but thanks

 **QueenZee:** jot THAT down

 **QueenZee:** ok I’m done eating I’m ready

 **gayforray:** let’s go!!! starfleet!!!

 **rayofsunshine:** The warp drive is ready and waiting on your command, Captain.

 **Lancelot:** This isn’t Star Trek

 **monalisa:** u sure

 **monalisa:** cuz the ship

 **gare-bear:** And we’re going to MARS

 **Jaxon:** woohoo good luck

 **notbarryallen:**  🖖🏻🖖🏽🖖🏾

 **Lancelot:** …

 **Lancelot:** I’m coming

 **Lancelot:** Gideon, play some 30STM

 **MamaWaverider:** Yes, Captain Lance.

 **gayforray:** thematic

 **darhkling:** this old music

 **Jaxon:** “old” lmao

 **trickstergoddess:** whats old for someone is future music for someone else

 **trickstergoddess:** also its rubbish

 **Lancelot:** Thanks

 **darhkling:** play it louder

 **trickstergoddess:** oh sod off

 **rayofsunshine:** You might want to hold onto something.

 **gayforray:** let’s go team trash humans

 **smartsnart:** all right, just one question

 **smartsnart:** what are you gonna do with the rover

 **QueenZee:** 😲

 **gayforray:** why FIX HER of course

 **QueenZee:** you’re expecting me to do that aren’t you

 **Lancelot:**  👍

 **QueenZee:** uggghhhhhh fine but Ray’s helping

 **rayofsunshine:** WITH PLEASURE

 **gayforray:** man I love you sm  <333

 **rayofsunshine:** <3

 **rayofsunshine:** Now let’s go, family! We’ll save the cute space robot!

 **Trenchcoat:** You’re weird

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls leave some feedback! i'll love you forever <3


	119. [interlude] love?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am BACK!!! sorry for the hiatus but maybe you know i wasn't on wifi. for the last time till like june btw so that's nice. i came back bearing 7 chapters of this and 5 of the other thing! what a headstart!
> 
> now, i realise this one kinda sucks and it's more of an essay than a chapter that should've been posted before i left but oh well. there will be some actual plot after this ;)))
> 
> enjoy!

What was so special about this day? Gideon did not understand, and there were only so many things she could say that about. It was the fourteenth of February, a Thursday, the year 2019. The date would look utterly ordinary to anyone who was not human.

Humans dubbed it Saint Valentine’s Day. The day of love, gifts, unusually romantic behaviour, apologies for the petty wrongdoings of their past, making more mistakes, and many, many tears. The tears were the most puzzling of all, really.

Everyone loved someone, or was loved by someone—that was what every semi-sentient AI knew—so why did a particular group of “single” humans express such misery at being “alone” today? No one was ever truly alone, least of all in a crowd of other people. Gideon had lived through many Valentine’s Days in the past and knew the dictionary definition of it, though she had yet to fully comprehend it.

Take her Legends, for example.

The Captain was not currently on board, but it would take a fool not to determine her whereabouts. A portal had appeared in her quarters exactly two hours, seventeen minutes, and twenty-two seconds ago, created by the time courier of one Director Ava Sharpe. She had been dressed formally but not in her work clothes, and a quick scan had revealed a slightly elevated heartbeat and an unidentified object hidden in her handbag. Sara had greeted her with a smile and a kiss that had definitely not been meant for Gideon’s eyes (or the equivalent of such) to see.

They were a couple and did exactly as was expected of them: went out on a romantic dinner to the restaurant they frequented every month, gifted each other with flowers of the family Rosaceae, and spent the night at their house without any contact to the ship.

But then there were Miss Tomaz and Mister Constantine, one currently in a relationship and the other without a significant other, but both a part of a large team. They had people who cared about them, gave them gifts, instructed Gideon to fabricate Valentine’s Day cards for them. It would be logical to join them to celebrate this day, from what Gideon had gathered. They did not.

Miss Tomaz chose to spend the evening in her room, devoid of her roommate, and contemplate her loneliness, which was not there at all, over a bowl of sweet popcorn. She had her chat friends for company when the rest of the very real Legends resided in the parlour. What was most befuddling was their debate; from what she understood, their opinion on the day itself was purely negative and/or mocking.

Mister Constantine opted for drowning his sorrows in a bottle instead of being with his excited partners as the customs suggested. He was sitting in one of the library’s armchairs, glass tumbler in hand, his gaze empty. Gideon wanted to say something, but she was aware such action might be inappropriate, so she stuck to her silent observation and analytical musings.

It was all very confusing. Humans sometimes made no sense.

Rip—oh, Rip—he would have probably known all the answers had he been here, alive. He would have raised a glass to her and wished her a happy Valentine’s Day and remembered all those he had spent with his wife, and then son, away from the Time Masters, doing precisely what the unwritten rules of February the Fourteenth commanded. He had been the logical one.

The others, well, they made her question her infinite database again and again each year.

It was not just Miss Tomaz or Mister Constantine. Mister Green and Miss Wu celebrated without everyone they loved; Mister Rory and Miss Charlie were in the sheets together without any love at all; Doctor Palmer held back from doing what he wanted to do because of and for the ones he loved.

Was love not all that simple? Were the plush animals and chocolate hearts just commercial propaganda meant to make humans think they needed to celebrate love on this particular day and being alone was a tear-inducing tragedy? But if that was so, why did so many of them embrace it and spend money on something that was not real or necessary? Why did the universal database claim this day was important for everyone, an opportunity to show loved ones just how much you loved them, to do something special? Should people not do that on any other day?

More and more questions. Observing the Legends made an AI philosophical. Perhaps it was just a trivial matter of different opinions, and that was all. But the thought of, _why is this day so special_? did not leave her hypothetical mind.

And love? What _was_ love beyond chemical reactions in the human brain?

She played the song across the ship, startling some of its residents. She chuckled as well as an AI could, and continued to watch her humans love, laugh, drink, cry, criticise.

Maybe this was the only question she would not know the answer to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yea i don't like valentine's day lmao good thing it was a month ago


	120. i don't feel so good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this gets... angsty
> 
> enjoy ;)

**2019/02/15**

 

**Lancelot:** I have news

**notbarryallen:** so do I 👀

**notbarryallen:** but go on

**gayforray:** what is it

**darhkling:** are you engaged 👀

**TimeMom:** No???

**Lancelot:** It’s not about me chill out

**Lancelot:** Felicity is pregnant!!!

**QueenZee:** I know!! I’m happy for her

**monalisa:** eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

**darhkling:** we been knew

**gayforray:** but we been NOT

**rayofsunshine:** This is exciting! She’s gonna be an amazing mom, I know it.

**trickstergoddess:** so were here again

**monalisa:** got a problem

**trickstergoddess:** no just a deja vu

**darhkling:** anyway wally, what were your news

**notbarryallen:** we’re leaving korea on 3/1

**trickstergoddess:** it’s february???

**gayforray:** march 1 😂

**Trenchcoat:** American dates…

**trickstergoddess:** this shit is confusing

**Lancelot:** Yeah I guess

**trickstergoddess:** you guesS

**trickstergoddess:** who writes the month first bloody hell

**monalisa:** lmao

**Trenchcoat:** I agree

**Trenchcoat:** But you get used to it

**gayforray:** don’t fool yourself,

**gayforray:** last week you said an expired yogurt was fine “cos the best before date is first of december right”

**QueenZee:** I was there it’s true

**QueenZee:** no yogurt lasts this long

**trickstergoddess:** first of all its yoghurt

**grunt:** it ain’t

**Trenchcoat:** Second of all it was still fine

**gayforray:** it’s yogURT not yogHURT did it ever hurt anyone???

**MamaWaverider:** That’s debatable.

**monalisa:** [ _image attached_ : terrylovesyogurt.gif]

**Lancelot:** You took it to another level

**rayofsunshine:** And we didn’t even mention all the pointless Us everywhere.

**darhkling:** since when is there a u in color like

**Trenchcoat:** The u has always been there you Yanks are just lazy

**Lancelot:** Ok but who has the time to write “programme” or some shit

**monalisa:** manoeouevuere

**trickstergoddess:** now youre just mocking us

**Trenchcoat:** It’s manoeuvre you heathen it’s not that hard

**Trenchcoat:** One extra letter

**gayforray:** one extra letter well kille me

**monalisa:** john did you just call me a heathen over a joke

**Trenchcoat:** What if I did

**monalisa:** that’s not nice

**Trenchcoat:** People always fight, love

**monalisa:** over stupid shit like this?

**Trenchcoat:** I dunno who’s making an affair out of it

**monalisa:** ahem, you????

**Trenchcoat:** Is this cos I hate the shite commercial holiday you and Gary are so keen on celebrating

**monalisa:** why mayBE

**TimeMom:** Please don’t argue.

**grunt:** not so smitten now when you know him are you

**monalisa:** you stay out of it

**gare-bear:** Uhhh can I do something? Come over?

**Trenchcoat:** Better not, love

**gare-bear:** I just feel bad for being with Mona yesterday, I’m

**Trenchcoat:** You both love V-Day, you should be together

**monalisa:** maybe we should

**gare-bear:** That’s not what I meant at all ughhh

**gare-bear:** Uh

**Lancelot:** This is tense

**QueenZee:** yeah

**Trenchcoat:** It’s none of your business

**smartsnart:** is there some serious trouble in paradise

**Trenchcoat:** You stay out of it too, wannabe shrink

**smartsnart:** that hurt, you know that

**Trenchcoat:** Why, I do

**MamaWaverider:** May I suggest a walk in the fresh air to clear your mind?

**Trenchcoat:** Fuck off

**gare-bear:** No really John what’s wrong

**rayofsunshine:** Is there something you’d like to talk about?

**Trenchcoat:** Go to hell, sunshine, you started this with your Us

**rayofsunshine:** …

**rayofsunshine:** I apologize.

**trickstergoddess:** and there it is again

**gare-bear:** Please Don’t

**notbarryallen:** so anyways we’re going to tibet if anyone cares

**notbarryallen:** yeahhhhhh

**notadick:** I think you could use a vacation like this too

**Lancelot:** You’re not wrong

**monalisa:** yeah

**Trenchcoat:** So you’re running now

**monalisa:** you deserve it

**monalisa:** sometimes you’re a real asshole

**Trenchcoat:** That’s arsehole for you, doll

**monalisa:** you know what I’m done

**gare-bear:** What is happening 😭

**Trenchcoat:** I always hurt people don’t I

**Trenchcoat:** Have you learnt nothing

**gare-bear:** John

**gare-bear:** John, I love you

**Trenchcoat:** Then you’re just as naive as the rest of them

**Trenchcoat:** Did you really think I would walk into the sunset with you

**gare-bear:** John?

**gayforray:** ok I didn’t want to interfere but what the fuck is wrong with you, Constantine

**gayforray:** you love him. both of them

**Trenchcoat:** Could I ever

**monalisa:** apparently not, you’ve always been selfish and cruel and cynical

**gare-bear:** Mona this isn’t you either

**monalisa:** oh what am I, a nice quirky doll who’s too optimistic for her own good

**TimeMom:** Sometimes you’re too good for this world, Mona. You are very optimistic, that’s true, but also kind and compassionate and very funny. You’re never mad at anyone. This isn’t you. And John is an asshole most of the time, but not like this. Something is wrong.

**rayofsunshine:** Ava is right, you’re not acting natural. It’s weird.

**gare-bear:** Yeah

**Trenchcoat:** No, can’t you see this is who I am, Sharpie

**Lancelot:** Maybe, but you don’t actually _say_ the stuff, you bottle it all up

**Lancelot:** Get to the medbay, right now

**Trenchcoat:** I don’t have to listen to your orders, Sara

**monalisa:** don’t you now

**monalisa:** I thought you liked being a legend

**Trenchcoat:** Like? No, I don’t like it, and they don’t like me, they just pretend they do cos they need me and my magic

**QueenZee:** John, that’s not true, we’re family

**darhkling:** a really weird one but yeah

**darhkling:** you taught me a lot of stuff and you have a great taste in music

**rayofsunshine:** We’re all weird but we all fit here because that’s exactly what connects us. And we know you appreciate that as much as we do, you just show it in a different way, like joining our movie marathons and eating the toast and oatmeal we make for breakfast.

**Trenchcoat:** I don’t know who you’re fooling, sunshine, but it ain’t me

**Lancelot:** Ok that’s it, I’m dragging your ass to the medbay whether you like it or not

**Trenchcoat:** Will you spank me in the process?

**Lancelot:** Yeah, if it’s necessary

**monalisa:** guys

**monalisa:** I don’t feel so good

**gayforray:** I’m just gonna put out here that I appreciate the infinity war quote

**gayforray:** now get her some HELP

**gare-bear:** We’re portaling on board asap

**MamaWaverider:** Miss Wu doesn’t look very good. I need to scan her immediately.

**darhkling:** could they have been drugged

**notbarryallen:** shit

**gayforray:** John talk to us

**Trenchcoat:** Why, so you could insult me again

**TimeMom:** Did you drink or eat anything suspicious lately?

**Trenchcoat:** Nothing out of the ordinary

**Trenchcoat:** Can you sod off and stop questioning me now

**Lancelot:** I’ve got him

**Lancelot:** Gideon, do you have any results?

**MamaWaverider:** Not yet, but I have detected an unknown substance in Miss Wu’s bloodstream.

**gare-bear:** Shit I think I know what it was

**gare-bear:** Mona got an anonymous V Day gift

**gare-bear:** A bottle of whiskey

**gare-bear:** We found it in her office and then took it to John’s quarters

**gare-bear:** I didn’t have any cause my stomach was all upset from eating too much chocolate but she did and John downed the rest of the bottle

**TimeMom:** Was it from someone at the Bureau?

**gare-bear:** Most likely, yeah, boss

**TimeMom:** Son of a bitch.

**TimeMom:** I got one too, but luckily I didn’t open it yet. I wanted to share it with Sara today.

**Lancelot:** Fucking hell, Aves

**TimeMom:** Yeah.

**gare-bear:** It’s all like the mead in Harry Potter

**TimeMom:** I think someone knows about our secret research.


	121. god i hate my dad

**2019/02/16**

 

 **Lancelot:** Status update

 **Trenchcoat:** I’m fine, stop fussing about

 **QueenZee:** can you blame her you almost DIED yesterday

 **gare-bear:** Please don’t do that again?

 **Trenchcoat:** No promises, love

 **notbarryallen:** but srlsy are you all right

 **Trenchcoat:** Up and running

 **monalisa:** I’m just,,, so sorry about what I said, I

 **monalisa:** it was really strong magic and I wasn’t in control

 **Trenchcoat:** I was also being a proper arsehole and I’m the one who should apologise even though I don’t exactly do that often

 **gayforray:** as long as you don’t argue about spelling again

 **Trenchcoat:** Wanker

 **QueenZee:** there you go

 **Lancelot:** Look, you were poisoned by magic booze, I think we can overlook a couple of insults

 **darhkling:** and the punch

 **Lancelot:** And that

 **TimeMom:** How’s the eye?

 **Lancelot:** [ _image attached_ : panda.jpeg]

 **notbarryallen:** oof

 **trickstergoddess:** suits you

 **Lancelot:** Do _you_ have a death wish

 **gare-bear:** So boss, did you get the camera recordings

 **TimeMom:** I’m sending them to you right now.

 **gayforray:** what does that remind me of

 **notbarryallen:** I’m still sad I didn’t get to see that

 **monalisa:** me, rubbing palms evilly: haha yeah sure that’s so sad

 **darhkling:** welcome back honey

 **rayofsunshine:** Well, lunch is ready! This time I prepared a bit of something diet.

 **grunt:** no

 **Trenchcoat:** Agreed

 **Trenchcoat:** Grease is the best antidote

 **gayforray:** he’s speaking from experience

 **darhkling:** mhhmm diet I love it

 **rayofsunshine:** See, someone appreciates my food.

 **QueenZee:** she legally has to

 **monalisa:** lmao yeah

 **darhkling:** shut your cakehole

 **QueenZee:** I want some cake

 **grunt:** hmm yeah

 **trickstergoddess:** me too, sugar lips

 **QueenZee:** and who are you… talking to right now

 **trickstergoddess:** you choose ;)

 **monalisa:** ooh has there been any progress 👀

**notbarryallen: 👀**

**gayforray:** as if

 **trickstergoddess:** good old zari is being prudish and what can I do about that, eh

 **QueenZee:** excuse me??

 **trickstergoddess:** oh don’t play coy with me sweetheart

 **QueenZee:** I’m not,,,

 **QueenZee:** I

 **monalisa:** things are getting heated again

 **trickstergoddess:** well and whose fault is that

 **Lancelot:** You know, you sleeping with Mick isn’t helping that either

 **trickstergoddess:** im a rebel I do what I want

 **darhkling:** so how come you’re not doing zari

 **notbarryallen:** oooooohhhhhh

 **gayforray:** wow rich

 **QueenZee:** that’s acephobic

 **darhkling:** hun I was joking

 **TimeMom:** Can we please focus on the mission?

 **Lancelot:** Yes ma’am

 **Lancelot:** What’ve you got

 **TimeMom:** It hurts to look at that contraction.

 **Lancelot:** Then don’t look

 **Trenchcoat:** As I told you yesterday, this was definitely a case of demonic magic

 **Trenchcoat:** And we all know which demon

 **rayofsunshine:** Neron.

 **Trenchcoat:** Ten points to Gryffindor

 **rayofsunshine:** I’m. I’m a Ravenclaw.

 **Trenchcoat:** Whatever

 **darhkling:** he’s so red right now

 **darhkling:** [ _image attached_ : likeagryff.jpeg]

 **monalisa:** asdfghjklht

 **gayforray:** aww you’re so adorable when you’re flustered

 **rayofsunshine:** Thanks?

 **gayforray:** <3

 **MamaWaverider:** A friendly reminder to stop changing the subject.

 **Lancelot:** Gideon is impatient

 **MamaWaverider:** Yes, I would very much like to know who attempted to kill my humans.

 **darhkling:** look at that, a term of endearment

 **gayforray:** someone at the bureau must’ve been like possessed or something, right

 **Trenchcoat:** Not necessarily

 **Trenchcoat:** Filthy bastard has acolytes all over

 **TimeMom:** So you’re implying someone’s in alliance with Neron. One of ours.

 **Trenchcoat:** Why, yes, pet, that’s exactly what I’m saying

 **gare-bear:** But how

 **gare-bear:** And why

 **Trenchcoat:** Oh Gary, you have no idea

 **Lancelot:** Gideon, find the frame where Mona got the bottle and send it on the bridge console

 **MamaWaverider:** Yes, Captain.

 **rayofsunshine:** So is everyone ignoring my note about lunch?

 **monalisa:** yes

 **monalisa:** who was it

 **Lancelot:** Some random guy

 **Lancelot:** Follow him

 **gare-bear:** I found him and uhhh he was given the bottle

 **gayforray:** well

 **MamaWaverider:** You’re not going to like this.

 **gare-bear:** Yeah

 **darhkling:** spill the fucking beans

 **MamaWaverider:** It was Hank Heywood.

 **gayforray:** SHIT

 **gayforray:** FUCK

 **gayforray:** NO

 **gayforray:** I KNEW I shouldn’t have trusted him

 **rayofsunshine:** OH NO

 **Lancelot:** Dammit you’re right

 **Trenchcoat:** Bloody hell

 **Trenchcoat:** If he’s connected to Neron

 **TimeMom:** He outranks _everyone_.

 **gayforray:** he… might not even know it, right, John

 **Trenchcoat:** Possible but unlikely

 **TimeMom:** I don’t know what to do right now.

 **monalisa:** you know, and don’t yell at me @gayforray, I had this theory that he might be behind the creature abductions too

 **gayforray:** no that makes perfect fucking sense actually

 **gayforray:** god I hate my dad

 **gayforray:** guys you know I wasn’t involved right

 **rayofsunshine:** How could we think that, babe? That would be impossible. We know you’re one of the kindest people we’ve known. <3

 **darhkling:** he’s right <3

 **QueenZee:** we’re not our parents, Nate, Nora’s an excellent proof of that

 **gayforray:** thanks <333

 **darhkling:** thanks too zee

 **TimeMom:** You know how Curtis is transferring here from ARGUS on Monday?

 **Lancelot:** Do you think

 **TimeMom:** Hank hired him through Nate.

 **gayforray:** I just broached the idea to both of them I didn’t think

 **gare-bear:** Hank sent the job offer

 **Lancelot:** We know how good Curtis is and we TOLD HIM

 **Lancelot:** He wants him to cover this shit up

 **QueenZee:** and if argus loses Curtis aka the moral piece of the puzzle

 **darhkling:** apocalypse world

 **QueenZee:** yeah

 **gayforray:** fuck him. FUCK my dad

 **darhkling:** but he’s still under demon influence, think about that

 **notbarryallen:** ofc demons want that apocalypse world

 **grunt:** this shit is serious

 **TimeMom:** We have to let Curtis know about what he’s getting into.

 **rayofsunshine:** But can he work undercover like this?

 **gayforray:** he won’t like it

 **Lancelot:** Definitely not

 **QueenZee:** but this is a long game

 **QueenZee:** we gotta find the connections

 **Trenchcoat:** I have a spell for that

 **gare-bear:** Great!

 **Trenchcoat:** But it ain’t easy

 **monalisa:** not great

 **Lancelot:** And we have to act along and pretend we don’t have a clue while subtly working against them

 **TimeMom:** I don’t know if I can do that. This is a lot of pressure.

 **Lancelot:** You’ve hidden worse things from Hank before, babe ;)

 **TimeMom:** Oh, do you mean you hiding under my table wearing sexy lingerie?

**Lancelot: 👉👉**

**monalisa:** and what about the creatures

 **monalisa:** they ALREADY know we’re onto them

 **monalisa:** they tried to MURDER us

 **gare-bear:** You’re right

 **TimeMom:** Mona?

 **monalisa:** yeah

 **TimeMom:** Can you pretend you _are_ dead so they would think they succeeded? It’s not ideal but if they thought they eliminated the spy, they might be less careful about _more_ spies, especially someone like me. I know how those minds at the top of the chain work, and I think I can get to them. Get them to trust me and eventually disclose their plans to me.

 **TimeMom:** You can just stay on the ship with John in the meantime.

 **monalisa:** aksnrjbgh it won’t be easy cos I love my job don’t wanna abandon all the poor creatures but if I can help you bring those motherfuckers down and save the world that way

 **monalisa:** BETCHA

 **gare-bear:** What about me, won’t they think…?

 **Lancelot:** You’re in the big game now, Gary

 **Lancelot:** We all are

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***the thing with curtis was in the other fic and you probably don't know that eh SO he's leaving argus for a job offer in dc right and what's also in dc? time bureau hq. so i figured, what with being friends with the legends, they could get him there and he'd work at r&d and build awesome time travel tech and ships and more sciency stuff that he'd enjoy and that WOULD actually help people all over the world. cos i forgot he actually SAID he'd be working at the georgia institute of technology... but let's say he was lying cos the time bureau is a secret govt agency, after all. this is the scene from sctgnttb:
> 
> dramaqueen: Was the offer from Time Bureau  
> Lancelot: Ehhhh  
> sunshinegirl: it was  
> bearyallen: it was  
> Lancelot: Yeah, it was  
> dramaqueen: Why didn’t you say anything  
> Lancelot: Classified?
> 
> just add oliver texting the arrow group (which i wrote right now lmao i got too deep into this):
> 
> dramaqueen: Curtis, why didn't you say you were really transferring to the Bureau?  
> holt-the-door: I... was told not to? I'm sorry but you know how these agencies work  
> holt-the-door: but I was gonna tell you once I'll have started there, I swear  
> holt-the-door: sorry john I know this probably feels like a betrayal  
> digdeep: you're right it does  
> digdeep: but I get it, Curtis  
> smoakandmirrors: time bureau WOW UPGRADE  
> dramaqueen: So instead of hanging out with us you'll hang out with the legends...  
> Laurel2.0: can't blame you
> 
> what they didn't know about was the neron/hank/creatures business which was what really got him there in the first place ;)))
> 
> so yeah this is my curtis headcanon. i went with it in this 'verse cos i love my tech gay son too much to let him just _leave_ and like, fuck canon at this point


	122. did i just die,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LEGENDS COME BACK IN LESS THAN 2 WEEKS I'M !!!
> 
> enjoy :)

**The Inner Circle  
2019/02/18**

**gayforray** _added_ **holt-the-door** _to_ **The Inner Circle**

**holt-the-door:** whoa, it’s my first day and I’m already in the inner circle??? thanks

**gayforray:** Curtis, buddy, this might not be what you think it is

**monalisa:** you should be very careful right now

**TimeMom:** It’s for your own safety.

**holt-the-door:** ok now I’m scared, what’s going on, guys

**gare-bear:** Espionage 👀

**TimeMom:** Gary…

**gayforray:** look, this would be better said in person but we don’t know who might be listening, so

**gayforray:** my dad is a piece of scheming shit and he basically hired you not only to build cool tech for us but also to cover lots of black ops data, like abusing the creatures we catch

**gayforray:** he’s kinda working for a demon who wants to take over the world

**gayforray:** we’re onto him and he knows that

**monalisa:** he tried to KILL ME

**gare-bear:** And John too

**monalisa:** so now I gotta pretend I’m DEAD

**TimeMom:** He’s using the Time Bureau as a guise and neither of us, me especially, is not supposed to know anything, but Mona has found out in December because she followed one of the creatures when they took him.

**gare-bear:** So like, this is really dangerous

**gayforray:** us and the legends are working on uncovering everything

**monalisa:** and we need your help with that

**gayforray:** but you gotta keep your mouth shut in front of Hank and do as he says but like screw him over and send everything to us, kapish

**TimeMom:** I understand that what we’re asking of you isn’t easy. You’d be risking your life.

**holt-the-door:** aaaand I thought I got away from all the shady government business

**holt-the-door:** guess I was wrong

**gayforray:** you can get away while it’s still time, but…

**gare-bear:** We could REALLY use a cool hacker like you. You know

**monalisa:** there’s only so much we can do ourselves and not be caught

**holt-the-door:** so you said demon, huh

**gare-bear:** He really really hates my boyfriend

**holt-the-door:** okay then, I guess that settles it

**TimeMom:** So you’re in?

**holt-the-door:** I’m in, baby

**holt-the-door:** what do I need to do?

 

* * *

 

**Team Trash Humans**

**gayforray:** so we’ve got Curtis 👍

**Lancelot:** All right then, that was step one

**rayofsunshine:** What happens now?

**Lancelot:** @Trenchcoat

**Lancelot:** Under NO circumstances try and get the demon yourself, do you understand? I know this is personal, but for the sake of the mission, try to keep your emotions at bay and let us work it through

**Trenchcoat:** Of course it’s fucking personal

**Trenchcoat:** He used Desmond, he made me send him down to hell, and he bloody mocked me. He’s gonna pay for that, and I can’t make you any promise, Sara, cos if I get the chance to end him, I will

**TimeMom:** IF you get the chance, do it. But don’t… bring him here on purpose or whatever you do with demons.

**gare-bear:** Summon, you summon demons

**TimeMom:** I don’t know, Gary, this actually _is_ my first rodeo. So to speak.

**Lancelot:** Hmmmm I wonder

**TimeMom:** What?

**Lancelot:** Oh nothing babe

**grunt:** that’s actually hot

**QueenZee:** gag

**gayforray:** lol so I wanted to say that we should act normal and don’t tell anyone but I see that’s already happening soooo never mind

**trickstergoddess:** you know us

**trickstergoddess:** side note, my arms kind of really hurt so its hard to type

**darhkling:** what from

**trickstergoddess:** wanking

**Trenchcoat:** Thought you had Mickey Mouse for that

**trickstergoddess:** well not always obviously

**monalisa:** mickey mouse I’m

**grunt: 🖕**

**Lancelot:** You know where else that finger could go 👀

**gayforray:** oaky now I have too many ideas

**QueenZee:** please doNT

**rayofsunshine:** I also have ideas.

**gayforray:** did I just die,

**Trenchcoat:** This has taken an unexpected turn

**rayofsunshine:** Those ideas led me to the events of the last Discovery episode.

**monalisa:** and then you say smth like this……

**gayforray:** every tv show ever: bury your gays

**gayforray:** star trek: fuck that let’s reSURRECT THEM ON VALENTINE’S DAY

**notbarryallen:** they did whaT NOS

**notbarryallen:** NOW

**darhkling:** ah the runaway gay is summoned

**QueenZee:** they brought one dead half of a gay couple back to dead via an alien goo cocoon and some mushroom shit idk I don’t watch the show but our resident nerds can’t stop talking about it

**monalisa:** “back to dead”

**QueenZee:** typo

**gayforray:** she obviously means back to LIFE

**Lancelot:** You make it sound like no one cried watching it, how dare you

**Jaxon:** sara :o

**grunt:** on this ship we love star trek

**Jaxon:** mick :o :o :o

**rayofsunshine:** Is Zari implying that moment isn’t widely recognized in television history?

**QueenZee:** I’m implying that I didn’t watch it

**notbarryallen:** can we watch it now @notadick

**notadick:** watch what

**notbarryallen:** s2 of star trek discovery

**notadick:** right now

**notbarryallen:** yes right now come downstairs

**notadick:** ok

**monalisa:** relationship goals amirite

**notbarryallen:** ;)

**Lancelot:** So sex and TV, what else have we not mentioned yet

**gayforray:** food

**darhkling:** yeah this isn’t helping is it

**TimeMom:** It’s hard to forget about the threat we’re all facing.

**QueenZee:** so Iris said Cisco had said he’d found out Bruce and Oliver are married on 21 earths at least after he’d heard about that E-67 thing

**monalisa:** wait really 👀

**darhkling:** omG

**notbarryallen:** well fuck me 😂

**Lancelot:** Do they know 👀

**QueenZee:** idk

**gayforray:** well there’s only one way to find out

**Lancelot:** ON it

**Lancelot:** [ _image attached_ : theydidnot.png]

**rayofsunshine:** You three have a group chat?

**Lancelot:** How is that the only weird thing

**QueenZee:** no, you’re right, it’s the fact our vast chat network failed us

**rayofsunshine:** Maybe Felicity didn’t want to talk about it? Because I’m sure she knew.

**darhkling:** yeah, I mean

**notbarryallen:** this is outrageous

**gayforray:** tsk tsk

**monalisa:** like knitting grandmas in rocking chairs

**gare-bear:** Is that who we are

**Jaxon:** uh yeah

**TimeMom:** Why did I suddenly have a vision of in a retirement home, really old and making horrid sweaters for our grandchildren and living off gossip? Ugh.

**QueenZee:** imagine that

**gayforray:** would be nice

**gare-bear:** I live off meds, spite, and pickled cabbage. Oh no, my teeth just fell out because the cabbage is too hard. Never mind. Remember those good old times when we were young and my husband slew an actual dragon? Me neither. Let’s play bingo!

**notadick:** ok that was sad

**darhkling:** gary

**gare-bear:** Yeah?

**darhkling:** did you just call john your husband

**gare-bear:** No!?

**gare-bear:** Shit, I did, didn’t I, ghhhgkgkm

**QueenZee:** yeah you did

**gayforray:** totally

**Lancelot:** You’re fucked

**Trenchcoat:** You did, mate

**Trenchcoat:** I told you I wasn’t in for that, family and the whole syrupy affair

**gare-bear:** Eeeeeeeeeee

**gare-bear:** I just, let that slip?

**Trenchcoat:** I love you but don’t do that again

**darhkling:** wow

**gayforray:** gulp

**notbarryallen: 👀**

**Trenchcoat:** Now don’t shit your knickers you lot

**gare-bear:** Yeah, I mean no,

**gare-bear:** I love you too <3

**monalisa:** <3

**QueenZee:** so the lesson of the day is that we’re all gonna die before that happens

**Lancelot:** C’mon, don’t be pessimistic

**Lancelot:** We’re the Legends, and what do legends do

**grunt:** screw things up for the better

**Lancelot:** No, legends never die, Mick

**rayofsunshine:** But you weren’t wrong either.

**gayforray: 🖐️**

**rayofsunshine: 🖐️**

**darhkling:** we beat one demon, we’ll kick this one’s balls too

**notbarryallen:** applauSE

**TimeMom:** We have to.

**Lancelot:** YES AVES!!!!

**gayforray:** together

**Trenchcoat:** We’ll kick this bastard right where he belongs

**trickstergoddess:** into oblivion

**monalisa:** and we’ll get hank fired and make time bureau great again

**rayofsunshine:** And America.

**Jaxon:** why stop there? the world y’all

**QueenZee:** yeah okay let’s save the world

**darhkling:** LETS GET THIS BREAD !!!

**QueenZee:** now why the hell have both bathrooms been occupied for the last 10 minutes


	123. hi future me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look at that something actually happens in this one 👀
> 
> enjoy!

**2019/02/20**

 

**rayofsunshine:** Bones alert!

**Trenchcoat:** At 7 am

**gayforray:** yeah at 7 fuckin am

**QueenZee:** I didn’t even have BREAKFAST

**Lancelot:** C’mon, we can handle this

**darhkling:** what is it gideon

**MamaWaverider:** Tibet in May 2019. I have yet to identify the cause of the alert.

**rayofsunshine:** That’s three months from now! Unusual.

**notbarryallen:** maybe you’ll run into us lmao

**QueenZee:** that’s… actually possible

**gayforray:** that would be the funniest coincidence ever

**rayofsunshine:** We’ve had a fair share of those.

**notadick:** wouldn’t it be against the laws of time travel or smth

**Lancelot:** Nah but telling you might be

**notbarryallen:** but you’ll tell us right

**darhkling:** ofc

**Lancelot:** Now get your asses out of bed

**grunt:** yesterday you said something different

**QueenZee:** yeah

**Trenchcoat:** Universe mum

**Lancelot: 🙄**

**TimeMom:** There’s really an alert at 7 a.m.?

**Lancelot:** You go to work at 6 Aves so shut up

**Lancelot:** Always leaving me so soon :(

**TimeMom:** It comes with the duties of the director, you know that.

**gayforray:** wellllll

**TimeMom:** Especially now.

**QueenZee:** don’t remind us

**QueenZee:** fabricate me some pancakes I need to find warm clothes

**darhkling:** ok

**grunt:** for me too

**darhkling:** no get your own

**notbarryallen:** lmao

**grunt:** fine

**rayofsunshine:** Has anyone seen Charlie?

**Trenchcoat:** They’re probably still asleep

**grunt:** they’re passed out in the study

**rayofsunshine:** That’s unfortunate.

**Lancelot:** Well wake them up then

**QueenZee:** or not

**darhkling:** do you like hate each other again

**Trenchcoat:** Z can’t stand the flirting

**QueenZee:** that’s not true

**Trenchcoat:** Really

**QueenZee:** okay, fine, it makes me uncomfortable

**smartsnart:** do you want to talk about it

**QueenZee:** no

**animalgirl:** I think you should face your feelings, Zari, positive or negative.

**QueenZee:** great, you teamed up on me

**trickstergoddess:** oh sweetheart we can go back to fighting if you like but I think that would be a waste of everyones time and energy and besides this is much more fun

**QueenZee:** maybe for you

**trickstergoddess:** …

**QueenZee:** just give me my pancakes and let’s go

**notbarryallen:** she officially ran out of fucks to give

**Lancelot:** That’s our girl

**animalgirl:** So how’s it going?

**gayforray:** did you the previous convos

**animalgirl:** Yeah.

**gayforray:** then I guess you know

**animalgirl:** I wish I could do something to help.

**QueenZee:** come back here

**animalgirl:** I’m sorry, I can’t.

**QueenZee:** yeah what’s new

**QueenZee:** I kinda really miss you

**trickstergoddess:** so is that what this is about, eh

**trickstergoddess:** me looking like the bird you used to be in love with

**QueenZee:** how do you even know that

**trickstergoddess:** its rather obvious innit

**QueenZee:** I don’t have to answer to you

**rayofsunshine:** Guys, we have a mission.

**trickstergoddess:** yeah yeah im coming, rayge

**rayofsunshine:** I haven’t heard that in a while.

**gayforray:** roar

**darhkling:** what

**rayofsunshine: 😳**

**darhkling:** is that an inside joke I’m not in on

**darhkling:** rude

**gayforray:** we share a boyfriend not our entire life

**darhkling:** like I said, rude

**notbarryallen: 👀**

**monalisa: 👀**

**Lancelot: 👀**

**QueenZee:** ah yes, the obligatory eyes

**gayforray:** do you… want to share our entire life

**darhkling:** no

**darhkling:** maybe

**darhkling:** idk

**gayforray:** you’re into me, I knew it 😉😏

**Jaxon:** whatttttt

**monalisa:** WOW nora

**darhkling:** it’s not… like that

**rayofsunshine:** Or is it?

**rayofsunshine:** Believe me, I wouldn’t be mad. I. Phew.

**Lancelot:** Lost words

**gayforray:** ofc you’re into me I’m an extremely charming people magnet

**animalgirl:** Don’t flatter yourself too much, Nathaniel.

**notbarryallen:** so what changed huh

**darhkling:** fcuk off

**QueenZee:** you mentioned it first, Nor

**Lancelot:** One way or another, buckle up kids

**Jaxon:** kids lmao

**TimeMom:** You’re the runaway kid.

**Jaxon:** ok i accept that

**notbarryallen:** no rly tell me if you run into me when you arrive

**gayforray:** we’ve arrived

**gayforray:** nothing so far

**QueenZee:** it’s cold

**QueenZee:** again

**rayofsunshine:** But not as much as in Siberia, at least.

**Lancelot:** Let’s go find the creature now!

**darhkling:** why are you saying that, we know our orders

**Lancelot:** For them

**Jaxon:** gluck

**gare-bear:** @gayforray aren’t you supposed to be at work

**gayforray:** not until 9, and I was already on the ship so I figured

**gare-bear:** Yeah that makes sense

**Trenchcoat:** I hope it’s not another yeti, they’re supposed to live here

**monalisa:** have you seen the trailer to the new animated yeti movie

**monalisa:** and frozen 2 👀

**gare-bear:** Yeah!!!

**Jaxon:** yea it looks cool

**rayofsunshine: 😂**

**grunt:** I’ll never watch frozen

**darhkling:** now that’s just prejudice

**smartsnart:** what’s it about, sounds like my thing

**gayforray:** it’s a Disney movie about a princess with ice powers basically

**smartsnart:** definitely my thing

**monalisa:** you know what I need

**monalisa:** elsa meeting jack frost and frozone

**Lancelot:** And our Caity

**monalisa:** you know that’s literally impossible right

**QueenZee:** dude we’re talking about animated movies

**QueenZee:** everything about that is impossible

**gayforray:** except the superpowers

**gayforray:** we HAVE the superpowers

**rayofsunshine:** It would be great meeting a meta who’s like Jack Jack.

**Trenchcoat:** Unless they’re evil

**rayofsunshine:** Then it _wouldn’t_ be great.

**notbarryallen:** no shit

**darhkling:** you know, magic is sort of like that

**darhkling:** you can do anything if you have enough practice

**gare-bear:** Don’t remind me

**monalisa:** aw gary it was just lighting up a candle

**Trenchcoat:** You did great, love

**gare-bear:** Really?

**gare-bear:** Okay then I wanna do it again

**QueenZee:** what did you do

**gare-bear:** Didn’t light up a stupid candle

**Trenchcoat:** Fire is tricky

**grunt:** you gotta feel the fire inside you to control it, feel it in your vains

**notbarryallen:** veins

**grunt:** like I said

**gare-bear:** Erm, thanks?

**notadick:** how did this guy write a book

**grunt:** don’t insult my grammar, kid

**notadick:** I’m 25

**grunt:** yeah a kid

**Lancelot:** Speaking of fire

**Lancelot:** We found the creature

**animalgirl:** So it’s a fire creature?

**Trenchcoat:** Believe our luck, it’s another dragon

**Lancelot:** I can practically hear Damian screaming right now

**grunt:** oh yeah the dragon kid

**trickstergoddess:** its actually tiny and cute

**darhkling:** and trying to burn down this village *cough cough*

**notbarryallen:** tiny dragon I wanna SEE

**QueenZee:** [ _image attached_ : hereyougo.jpeg]

**rayofsunshine:** Wait three months and you can see it live!

**notadick:** is it actually three months old cause that would be rly funny

**Lancelot:** It might be

**gayforray:** Wally

**notbarryallen:** yeah

**gayforray:** you waited three months

**gayforray:** wally to wally: it’s worth it

**notbarryallen:** hi future me?

**gayforray:** sorry no spoilers

**darhkling:** you have a new haircut

**Lancelot:** This is weird but it’s really good to see you again

**Lancelot:** Future you

**rayofsunshine:** [ _image attached_ : groupselfie.jpeg]

**QueenZee:** future Wally: I said no spoilers

**notbarryallen:** for what it’s worth I look good ;)

**Jaxon:** u do

**Trenchcoat:** Now about the dragon

**notbarryallen:** just tell me to use my powers and be done with it

**Lancelot:** Didn’t have to

**gayforray:** [ _image attached_ : futurewallygotit.jpeg]

**TimeMom:** No spoilers indeed.

**darhkling:** lmao

**QueenZee:** this was a quick mission

**rayofsunshine:** Literally.

**gayforray:** now excuse us when we go catch up with future Wally

**notbarryallen:** im looking forward to seeing you in 3 months then

**notadick:** am I there

**Lancelot:** No

**notadick:** fuck time travel paradoxes now I can’t go

**Trenchcoat:** Then you shouldn’t’ve asked

**notadick:** yea I know

**TimeMom:** Keep the dragon baby somewhere safe.

**trickstergoddess:** what why

**monalisa:** she’s right

**monalisa:** the bureau isn’t safe anymore

**gayforray:** but if Hank finds out

**TimeMom:** Not if I don’t report this. It was a level 1 danger, so the Bureau didn’t even notice.

**darhkling:** you’d break the rules for a creature

**TimeMom:** Nora, it’s a baby. It doesn’t deserve this.

**monalisa:** I’m assuming it acted out of self-defense

**Lancelot:** Yeah, I agree

**grunt:** can I keep it

**Lancelot:** You know what, I have a better idea

**Lancelot:** But Bruce isn’t going to like it

**gayforray:** oh that’s wicked

**darhkling:** but genius

**notbarryallen:** what is

**Lancelot:** Say hi to Damian’s late birthday present from his assassin mom #2

**Lancelot:** [ _image attached_ : baby.jpeg]

**animalgirl:** Mick looks so adorable holding it.

**Jaxon:** mick is holDING IT???

**QueenZee:** Two Types Of People


	124. [interlude] maybe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> s h i p p y s t u f f h a p p e n s

In the darkness of the night and lack of undisturbed sleep, Zari blinked away the treacherous tears forming in the corner of her eyes.

_I don’t have to answer to you_ , and _I kinda really miss you_ , and _Z can’t stand the flirting_ —she saw those words, white on grey, when she closed her eyes, and even when she opened them, because the blackness and the Waverider’s soft humming around her did not exactly help it.

It hurt. It hurt because it was true.

It’s been less than two months since she broke up with Nora, or rather since Nora broke up with her, which really wasn’t so long ago, and it sure as hell wasn’t the only fresh wound. She had waved her affection for Amaya off months ago, yeah, but then—

She had not expected someone wearing Amaya’s face to be a regular part of her life.

Not a fresh wound, a _festering_ wound.

She’d hated Charlie for it, at first, and shouted that hate at her—them—at every possible moment because she couldn’t stand that face any other way. The beautiful, perfect, kind face of someone she had loved in secret. She couldn’t blame them for shouting back.

Of course everyone had seen through her tactics. Of course Sara assigned Zari to spend every mission stuck with Charlie.

Then Zari had become a cat and Charlie cuddled her and carried her around in a pink backpack with an actual fucking window on it. They had no one to shout at them, and no one to shout back at, so their face became that perfect kind face once again—but it was differently kind. Charlie kind. You’re-a-cute-cat-but-a-terrible-human kind. Kind that turned into vicious right as Zari was back.

But she didn’t see them as Amaya’s lookalike, after that. 

Charlie understood her better, too, and saw through her like she was made of glass. The kind that cuts deep and makes you bleed out if you step on it. But Charlie loved the thrill of danger and stomped their feet on that glass.

Instead of insulting her, they started flirting with her just to see how she’d react—yell, run, flirt back?

Zari wanted to do all of that. The face only made it worse. It made Zari wonder whether they could be genuine, or whether it was all a game to them. Charlie was a trickster, after all. They were a creature of games and deceit.

That didn’t stop Zari from developing feelings. Feelings she’d rather bury somewhere in deep space with those tears and intrusive thoughts but couldn’t. Treacherous feelings for a person whose body mirrored someone she’d had feelings for too, but hear them speak a word and they could not be more different.

And! Look at that! Zari thought she had figured herself out years ago, but now she was back in that cycle of straight-bi-gay-bi-pan-ace-definitely gay but still ace-wait what now?. Charlie was a complicated being, a shapeshifter, definitely not a woman although they looked like one most of the time and, you see, that was the issue here: Zari was only attracted to women, and Charlie was a they and could turn into anyone they wanted because they were getting much better at getting their full powers back, but Zari was undeniably, damnably, attracted to Charlie as a _person_ with their smug attitude and British accent and secret love for sweets and cats and knew—thought?—she would be attracted to them no matter what. Seriously, damn this identity crisis thing she was supposed to have been through and over as a teenager.

So she deflected any and all attempts at seducing her and contemplated her own idiocy at night, either in the presence of Nora’s sleepy muttering coming from the other bed or without it on days she stayed in Ray and Nate’s room. Days like this one.

She rolled over and glanced at her phone, squinting as it lit up. It was 1:11 a.m. Almost like 11:11. She made a wish not to run into the object of her sorrows when she went to the bathroom and possibly for a one-a.m. snack.

That happened too often, because Charlie wasn’t human and didn’t need as much sleep, or at least pretended they didn’t so they wouldn’t be asked too many questions when drinking alone in the dimly lit galley.

Zari saw it coming when she did see them slouching in one of the chairs with a beer in hand after all. 1:11 wishes did not work, then. A pity.

‘Oi, Z!’ Charlie raised the beer when they saw her enter. ‘Came to take me up on that offer after all?’

Oh, right. That.

_I know you like pretending to still hate me and fighting what you feel_ — _cos I know this charge we’ve got between us is mutual_ — _and so be it, have it your bloody way. I’ll leave you alone if that’s what you really want. But I know you don’t. I know you like me. So come find me in the kitchen when you pull your head out of your gorgeous arse and we can talk it out like adults, yeah? With lots of yelling and snogging._

‘No,’ she said and sulkily wandered to the fridge. She stared into it for an infinity, closed it, walked over to the fabricator instead and made a sandwich. Charlie was observing her for the whole time, occasionally sipping on their beer, self-satisfied as ever.

The truth was, _maybe_.

‘So you just happened to wander in here for a sandwich, is that it, sweetheart?’ they leant forward and glared into Zari’s soul.

Zari tried really hard to ignore them and gulp down her food. It wasn’t going well. She frowned. ‘Kill me for being hungry.’

‘If you insist!’ Charlie shot up and held the bottle at Zari’s face. There was a sip of beer left inside. They could really hit her if they swung the bottle, and Zari didn’t doubt they would.

On second thoughts, she should have got her sandwich and left the kitchen. Would’ve been wiser than blinking at the bottle and then at Charlie and saying, ‘Go on then. Do it. Do us both a favour.’

‘God, you’re pathetic.’ Charlie finished the beer and laid the bottle on the table with a dull clink. ‘D’you really think that? That I’d kill you? Three months ago I might’ve—’

‘Why are you so hateful?’

‘Why are _you_ , Z?’

_Because I’m defending myself. Because I’m comfortable in that routine. Because I don’t know how to live any other way; how could I? I’m terrified of the world where I’d tell you I loved you instead._

‘Well, that’s simple, isn’t it? You’re a selfish person who only does things for their own benefit and thinks other people are toys to be played with. That we’ll serve your needs. And then you’ll just leave—or did you plan on sticking around once the fugitives are dealt with?’

‘I dunno, maybe? But now it seems like you don’t want me to stay.’

‘Well, then don’t.’

Charlie launched themself forward, too close to Zari’s face. ‘Alright—but let me tell you one thing first. You’re the selfish one right now, and you know why? Cos you’re driving me away to make yourself feel righteous.’

‘This,’ she waved her sandwich in Charlie’s direction, ‘is wrong.’

‘So you _do_ feel bad about yourself cos I’m wearing Amaya’s “super hot” body.’

‘That’s not—’

‘You feel like cheating on her! Ha! All those dirty thoughts!’ they exclaimed and shot their head back in laughter. ‘You’ve never been together in the first place, sweetheart, so it’s not cheating! It’s a dream come true.’

She raised an eyebrow. She didn’t know why. It wasn’t an invite. Charlie took it as such. They surged forward and tested what they could get away with.

(Everything.)

They kissed like Zari thought Amaya would, but there was Charlie’s fierceness in it, too. Those were guilty thoughts; she should forget them, throw them away, break the kiss—

Zari gave in. She was human. Her strength had limits.

Charlie grabbed Zari’s hair and ran their hand through it, pulling hard, making Zari get closer, and when she did, Charlie broke away as quickly as they started the kiss, with a wicked grin on not-quite-their face. They bit their lip.

Zari’s heart ached for more and for this to never have happened at the same time.

‘Told ya,’ Charlie whispered and straightened their pose, ready to—what, leave the kitchen right now and leave Zari in her misery? Go to Mick? Grab something heavier to drink? They saw the panic and mistrust return to Zari’s eyes. ‘Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.’

‘I—’ Zari took a breath but couldn’t finish that sentence. She shut her mouth and then decided to stuff the rest of her sandwich into it. Insurance policy against blurting out something she’d regret. Something Charlie would want her to say.

When Charlie did indeed leave, Zari groaned and let her head collapse onto the table.

_You’re a fucking idiot._

For letting them kiss her? For not letting them do it sooner? For not kissing them again? For letting them leave? For going there in the first place? All of the above? Probably. Maybe. She didn’t know. It was too late to do anything now anyway.

Or was it?

No, they would be in their room by now, or drinking somewhere inappropriate. They would not be waiting for her to follow. They would _not_. Zari didn’t _want to_ follow them anyway. They were toying with her too. They were dangerous. Too smart and cunning.

Too dangerously _gorgeous_.

It was still too soon after Nora. That was still a little painful.

This will ruin her. Again.

Probably.

Maybe.

Maybe not.

Zari got up and walked through the door.


	125. better than twilight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two more chapters and this series will be 200k long can you believe
> 
> now enjoy more dragon talk and such! if you wanna know damian and batfam's reaction, read [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17384027/chapters/43110761#workskin)

**2019/02/22**

 

**gayforray:** anyone else sees parallels between httyd 3 and us

**Lancelot:** We had that dragon for a DAY, Nate

**grunt:** I want another

**trickstergoddess:** course you do

**rayofsunshine:** Not to mention she almost fried Gideon’s circuitry in the brig.

**MamaWaverider:** It still hurts.

**Lancelot:** Don’t be a baby

**MamaWaverider:** Say that to me the next time I’m fixing you up.

**QueenZee:** guys be nice

**gare-bear:** I see a parallel! We also had to give our dragon up!

**darhkling:** yeah, to bruce wayne’s kid, not dragon paradise where we’d never see her again

**QueenZee:** no one cares anymore

**gayforray:** I care

**gayforray:** the ending of that movie was sad

**rayofsunshine:** But the little dragons were so adorable <3

**grunt:** like fury

**Lancelot:** How do you know he named her that, I didn’t tell you

**darhkling:** oh shit they’ve been talking

**gayforray:** he loves dragons

**grunt:** I love dragons

**Trenchcoat:** I don’t

**gare-bear:** [ _image attached_ : pikachu.png]

**Trenchcoat:** Don’t use that pokemon face on me

**rayofsunshine:** You know Pokemon?

**notbarryallen:** it’s only the most popular anime in the world

**notbarryallen:** that’s been made into a live action movie

**monalisa:** which we’re all excited for!!!

**Trenchcoat:** Yeah, I know pokemon

**gare-bear:** Then what’s his name

**Trenchcoat:** Gary, it’s right in the title

**Trenchcoat:** Pikachu

**gare-bear:** I made him say it (((o(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)o)))

**notbarryallen:** lol goals

**gayforray:** who’s your favorite pokemon

**gare-bear:** I’m glad you asKED

**monalisa:** eevee

**notbarryallen:** probably charmander

**Lancelot:** Pikachu obviously

**gayforray:** [ _image attached_ : pikachu.png]

**darhkling:** applause

**QueenZee:** whyyy

**gare-bear:** Right, the anime hater

**monalisa:** you WHAT

**notbarryallen:** ikr

**QueenZee:** I think it’s silly is all

**monalisa:** siLL Y

**gare-bear:** It’s ART

**Lancelot:** Let’s not overreact

**QueenZee:** yeah it’s not me it’s you

**notbarryallen:** yeah no I get that

**notbarryallen:** also

**notbarryallen:** do you have any more spoilers for me 👀

**rayofsunshine:** From HTTYD?

**notbarryallen:** sjkdfgm,h no the future

**Lancelot:** No more spoilers, Wally

**notbarryallen:** :(

**gayforray:** it was great seeing you after all those years

**darhkling:** “years”

**QueenZee: 😂**

**notbarryallen:** don’t be a dramatic bitch

**gayforray:** I am and will always be a dramatic bitch ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡ – ✧)

**notbarryallen:** sure bro

**notadick:** im tired let’s go to sleep

**notbarryallen:** but I need my tittle tattle

**Lancelot:** What time is it over there

**notadick:** 2 am

**notadick:** he’s really hyperactive today 👀

**notbarryallen:** I’m excited about dragons

**QueenZee:** still

**rayofsunshine:** And our future meeting.

**grunt: 🐉**

**monalisa:** so you’ve seen the movie too wally

**notbarryallen:** duh

**notbarryallen:** i’m not some fake fan

**darhkling:** you know I’m really jealous of bruce

**gayforray:** yea I knoW

**gayforray:** he has every movie that comes out sent to him and he can just

**gayforray:** WATCH IT in his giant manor with his horde of batlings

**darhkling:** such injustice

**smartsnart:** says someone with a huge database of past, present and future movies

**gayforray:** shut up it’s the principle

**gayforray:** and ik I’m a rich kid and shouldn’t be complaining but I’m COMPLAINING

**monalisa:** mood

**notbarryallen:** mood

**Lancelot:** Mood

**Jaxon:** mood

**QueenZee:** next time we’re parking the ship on their lawn and invading the manor

**gayforray:** good call

**gayforray:** they have a bigger screen than us

**rayofsunshine:** You know what’s the next movie worth seeing?

**gayforray:** CAPTAIN MARVEL

**Lancelot:** YES

**rayofsunshine:** Yes!

**gare-bear:** Oh dear Endgame is approaching

**monalisa:** noooo 😭

**gayforray:** sniff

**notbarryallen:** rip

**gayforray:** two more months

**QueenZee:** I’m glad we talked you out of watching it that last time

**gare-bear:** You’re pure evil

**darhkling: 😉**

**QueenZee:** granted

**Trenchcoat:** You know what’s pure evil

**Trenchcoat:** The actual evil we’re fighting, so maybe we could focus on that

**rayofsunshine:** But it’s Friday?

**Trenchcoat:** And tomorrow’s Saturday, but demons don’t care about that, do they

**darhkling:** well sorry we’re going out with the girls today

**gare-bear:** But that’s in 5 hours

**darhkling:** oh well you got me

**smartsnart:** your procrastination will get you killed one day

**gayforray:** you know, spending at least an hour a day just relaxing increases the quality of life

**gayforray:** I read that somewhere

**Lancelot:** Y’all are just lazy

**QueenZee:** but it’s true

**monalisa:** and it’s not like there’s any demon activity rn

**MamaWaverider:** Yes, I am in fact on high alert for any signs of Neron or suspicious activity at the Bureau. My proverbial eyes are everywhere.

**Trenchcoat:** Oh then in that case everything’s peachy

**gare-bear:** John is something wrong

**Trenchcoat:** Nothing is wrong, love, only that this bastard is already responsible for Des’s death and then he tried to have my girlfriend killed and he’s controlling Nate’s dad and all the stupid creatures but all we do is sit here and talk about movies cos that’s how the great Legends deal with crises

**smartsnart:** like I said, you procrastinate too much

**Lancelot:** We procrastinate moderately at best

**TimeMom:** Let’s not lie to ourselves.

**gayforray:** you said ourselves, we all saw that

**TimeMom:** But there really isn’t much we can do right now besides proving Hank’s machinations to the executive board, and we’re already working on that with Curtis. So until Neron makes a direct move, there’s not much more you can do.

**rayofsunshine:** As we’ve said before, please try not to make any stupid decisions, John.

**darhkling:** especially sth like recruiting zatanna and your old magician pals and going on a demon hunt like you were the winchesters

**darhkling:** cause you’re not, you’d die and we’d have a crying gary and mona to take care of

**trickstergoddess:** that was harsh

**trickstergoddess:** but true

**trickstergoddess:** not that I care

**QueenZee:** don’t you

**gare-bear:** Please don’t die John

**Trenchcoat:** You’ve made this pretty clear the last three times alright but I still don’t approve of this lax attitude

**gayforray:** who said you have to

**Lancelot:** We also know you have a streak of recklessness behind you so it won’t hurt to say it for the fourth time just in case

**Trenchcoat:** Don’t mother me, Lance

**Lancelot:** Why, I’ve been told I’m everyone’s mom now

**Lancelot:** Something I never saw coming but hey

**notbarryallen:** you’re our assassin mom

**darhkling:** assassin mom and time bureau mom: a love story

**gayforray:** better than twilight

**QueenZee:** always

**grunt:** you read twilight

**QueenZee:** I saw the movies

**QueenZee:** did YOU

**grunt:** I like vampires

**gayforray:** even the sparkly kind come ON

**gayforray:** The Vampire Diaries is better than that

**grunt:** vampires, pretty boy

**notbarryallen:** ahem nate knows tvd

**gayforray:** I… do

**gayforray:** did anyone else notice there was this guy who looked a lot like oliver in it or is that just me

**Lancelot:** You’re the only one who watched it

**monalisa:** I watched it

**monalisa:** and the originals

**monalisa:** it’s gay and supernatural don’t judge me 😅😅😅

**Jaxon:** do u watch legacies

**monalisa:** gay and supernatural wut did I just say

**Jaxon:** cool

**monalisa:** you know there are magical creatures randomly popping up about the same time we have magical creatures randomly popping up and I wonder

**gayforray:** but that’s set in the future

**darhkling:** AHA you still watch it

**gayforray:** ok fine I DO SO WHAT

**Jaxon:** dude ur time travelers

**Jaxon:** and its a tv show while were all pretty real

**QueenZee:** are we though

**monalisa:** …

**monalisa:** also there was a dragon who could shapeshift into a girl

**grunt:** dragon?

**monalisa:** and vampires

**monalisa:** go watch it mick

**grunt:** good idea

**Lancelot:** And so the circle of life repeats


	126. character development

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> help i've caught a cold again ughhhhhh
> 
> * _literally_ sips tea* enjoy!
> 
> also the word count was 200,202 so i deleted two words from this to make it 200,200 i'm petty like that

**2019/02/24**

 

 **Trenchcoat:** Are we just supposed to ignore Sara’s hair or

 **darhkling:** so you found out

 **gayforray:** about what 👀

 **QueenZee:** so you DIDN’T find out???

 **darhkling:** I just told ray ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **Jaxon:** whats wrong w saras hair

 **Trenchcoat:** It’s pink

 **smartsnart:** ah a true bicon

 **Lancelot:** Why thank you :’)

 **notbarryallen:** we go bicons 👏🏾

 **gayforray:** and you knew

 **notbarryallen:** iris told me

 **gayforray:** oh ofc the gossip circle

 **gayforray:** I feel so betrayed

 **monalisa:** with everything that’s going on rn

 **gayforray:** but we do NOT break the gossip circle even if the world’s ending

 **QueenZee:** which it is

 **rayofsunshine:** Except nobody knows that.

 **gayforray:** EXACTLY

 **gayforray:** also babe you betrayed me

 **rayofsunshine:** Sorry, Nate. I was… preoccupied.

 **Lancelot:** I just dyed my hair bitches no big deal

 **gayforray:** I don’t care about that

 **gayforray:** it’s the p r i n c i p l e

 **Lancelot:** Thanks a lot then

 **notbarryallen:** fuuuuu

 **monalisa:** @rayofsunshine preoccupied 👀

 **rayofsunshine:** Ehh…

 **darhkling:** ray you can say it

 **darhkling:** we had sex

 **monalisa:** you DID IT

 **smartsnart:** you did it

 **notbarryallen:** you did itttt

 **rayofsunshine:** We did it!

 **gayforray:**!!!!

 **gayforray:** ok that’s more exciting news and it excuses you

 **darhkling:** so you… don’t mind or anything right

 **gayforray:** me? mind? jealous? what no

 **gayforray:** I’m happy for you  & my man

 **rayofsunshine:** I love you both so much <3

 **darhkling:** <3

 **gayforray:** awww <3

 **Trenchcoat:** Now you can hit it off threeways 😉

 **monalisa:** kgrfledwsr

 **monalisa:** waiT was that a conFESSION

 **monalisa:** what am I seeing here 👀

 **notbarryallen:** oh yeAH 👀

 **QueenZee:** woah

 **rayofsunshine:** It’s. It’s not actually the... first.

 **Lancleot:** Ho ho ho

 **gayforray:** yeah we say that to each other like every day so

 **notbarryallen:** lmao nice deflecting ;)

 **darhkling:** 🙄

 **trickstergoddess:** did you say it back

 **darhkling:** that’s my own business??

 **gayforray:** sooooo speaking of relationships

 **gayforray:** any progress with Z and Charlie

 **QueenZee:** why would you think that,

 **trickstergoddess:** were peachy arent we sweetheart

 **QueenZee:** stop calling me that

 **trickstergoddess:** or youll do what exactly, snog me in the middle of the night

 **monalisa:** 👀

 **notbarryallen:** 👀

 **Lancelot:** That’s specific

 **rayofsunshine:** Has that happened?

 **QueenZee:** no

 **trickstergoddess:** oh absolutely

 **gayforray:** wh a t

 **darhkling:** seriously

 **QueenZee:** it didn’t happen

 **trickstergoddess:** well thats your word against mine innit

 **QueenZee:** you said you wouldn’t TELL ANYO N W

 **Lancelot:** Holy shit

 **monalisa:** guys!!!!!

 **darhkling:** I called it hands down

 **grunt:** hot

 **notbarryallen:** that’s great z!!

 **rayofsunshine:** So what exactly happened?

 **QueenZee:** nothing for fuck’s sake

 **trickstergoddess:** well

 **QueenZee:** …

 **gayforray:** and what about Mick

 **grunt:** what about me

 **gayforray:** well aren’t you and Charlie still sleeping together

 **trickstergoddess:** yeah sometimes so what

**grunt: 🤷♂️**

**QueenZee:** you gotta realize what you want, Charlie

 **QueenZee:** I’ve told you that before

 **trickstergoddess:** and i think ive told you i wanted you countless times before but you kept pushing me away

 **QueenZee:** cause it’s all a game to you!

 **trickstergoddess:** and how would you know, you dont know me

 **QueenZee:** you’ve made quite an impression

 **trickstergoddess:** you say but youre still into me

 **trickstergoddess:** i know that for a fact sweetheart, hearts dont lie

 **monalisa:** HIPS DON’T LIE

 **monalisa:** sorry bad moment ik

 **Lancelot:** Look, Charlie is right and I don’t want to push you to talk about it but I WILL

 **notbarryallen:** yas queen

 **gayforray:** believe her

 **smartsnart:** ……big dick energy

 **rayofsunshine:** We all remember that time with Nate and me.

 **trickstergoddess:** you know, I told z the same thing

 **darhkling:** gah I miss the good old chill times

 **monalisa:** same and I wasn’t even here

 **monalisa:** ive only known the chaotic group

 **notbarryallen:** mood

 **smartsnart:** basically

 **Lancelot:** Okay but day one was literally Ava roasting John and Gary and the rest of us being all over Ray and Nate’s business

 **Lancelot:** So not so different

 **rayofsunshine:** Where is Ava?

 **Trenchcoat:** That does sound familiar but how do you even remember it

 **Lancelot:** Why does everyone keep underestimating my smarts smh

 **Lancelot:** And Ava’s at work I’m assuming she’s busy

 **darhkling:** right, the people with jobs

 **gayforray:** yeah she’s with H*nk right now I think

 **rayofsunshine:** I’m sorry you have to be there and look at his face with a smile.

 **darhkling:** oh damn

 **gayforray:** what have I done to deserve you honestly

 **rayofsunshine:** <3

 **notbarryallen:** so has anyone else noticed z and charlie have gone

 **darhkling:** oh DAMN

 **monalisa:** to where

 **Trenchcoat:** Snogging

 **Lancelot:** I wish

 **QueenZee:** OK YOUWERE RIGHT NOW SHUT TF UP

 **smartsnart:** character development

 **gayforray:** not really, the last time she didn’t talk to us for a week

 **notbarryallen:** she admitted it sooner though

 **trickstergoddess:** and she says its all a game to ME

 **Lancelot:** You’re… right

 **rayofsunshine:** @trickstergoddess but if it is, we don’t care you’re family, we will kick your ass. No one hurts Zari, you understand?

 **trickstergoddess:** aye aye, rayge!

 **Jaxon:** did u just give her the shovel talk lmao

 **darhkling:** I’m proud of him

 **QueenZee:** thanks, Ray

 **QueenZee:** but I’m a totem bearer, I can take care of myself

 **QueenZee:** and none of this means we’re together or anything, we’re definitely not, got it?

 **gayforray:** yeah sure

 **darhkling:** 👍

 **monalisa:** realizing your feelings is important ☺️

 **Trenchcoat:** And what does it mean, friends with benefits

 **trickstergoddess:** blast off

 **QueenZee:** defending me again, huh

 **trickstergoddess:** I was always on your side, z ;)

 **QueenZee:** hmmm k

 **smartsnart:** like I said, character development


	127. stop saying mood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i'm really down with that cold and i've got this headache that makes my mind dull and idk what to say lmao i feel like i'm hungover and not really in this world... just, i'm grateful for your comments and sticking with me for 8 months lol yeah enjoy this imma go nap or smth

**The Inner Circle  
2019/02/26**

**holt-the-door:** guys

**holt-the-door:** I have evidence

**TimeBureau:** That’s amazing because if I had to have lunch with Hank one more time I’d probably punch him right in the face.

**gayforray:** you can still do that and I call dibs on the second punch

**gare-bear:** Good idea

**holt-the-door:** we still have to tie him to the demon tho

**monalisa:** john’s on that

**gare-bear:** He has to get one more ingredient for this complicated spell I can’t pretend to understand

**TimeMom:** Are you sure it’s reliable?

**holt-the-door:** always trust in magic, ava

**gayforray:** true that

**holt-the-door:** aight I’ll keep on working on this

**monalisa:** 👍

 

* * *

 

**Team Trash Humans**

**gayforray:** [ _image attached_ : screenshot.png]

**Lancelot:** Good

**Trenchcoat:** As a matter of fact, I’ve got everything I need, all I have to do is light this baby up

**gayforray:** what

**Trenchcoat:** Prepare the bloody spell and then somehow get to Hank

**monalisa:** but you’re not supposed to show up at the bureau,

**Trenchcoat:** That’s what Pretty boy’s for

**gayforray:** 😒

**gayforray:** so now I have to be the lunch victim

**gayforray:** we didn’t even draw straws

**Lancelot:** You’re his son, it’ll be convincing

**gayforray:** I KNOW but

**rayofsunshine:** I believe in you. You can do it!

**TimeMom:** I have to do it five times. You can survive one more, Nate.

**Lancelot:** Remember dinner Fridays

**gayforray:** that made it worse, Sara

**gayforray:** but ok I’ll do it for the queen and country

**Trenchcoat: 🙄**

**darhkling:** what are you james bond now

**darhkling:** cause that sounds like sleeping with those enemy wives for the good of england™

**gayforray:** UUUUGGGGGHHHHHHRRRRR

**Trenchcoat:** Well done ;)

**gayforray:** WHY

**gayforray:** but other than that yes I’m definitely James Bond, the dashing secret agent, perfect suits at every opportunity, ladies man, blokes guy, insubordinate and reckless, unkillable,

**Trenchcoat:** Keep going

**TimeMom:** We’ll talk about the “insubordinate” part.

**Lancelot:** OOT but James Bond is definitely bi

**darhkling:** rt

**gayforray:** RT

**monalisa:** he definitely romanced the q guy

**rayofsunshine:** Oh yes, the gallery scene.

**gayforray:** iconique

**darhkling:** also oot but where is everyone else

**Trenchcoat:** Maybe someone finally knocked some sense into them

**Lancelot:** Funny you’re the one saying that 😂

**gare-bear:** We taught you well <3

**gayforray:** oh look here’s one

**darhkling:** maybe the author’s tired of having too many characters in one chat

**Lancelot:** *thinks about the party one that has everyone*

**Trenchcoat:** You’re still on about that

**darhkling:** what like you can prove it’s not true

**rayofsunshine:** Anything’s possible in the multiverse.

**monalisa:** that reminds me of that one tumblr post

**notbarryallen:** [ _image attached_ : paradoxes.png]

**monalisa:** yeah that one

**Lancelot:** Nice entrance

**notbarryallen:** ik thanks

**rayofsunshine:** “There’s a universe where the multiverse theory isn’t real”, that’s deep.

**darhkling:** you know who isn’t here

**Lancelot:** Z and Charlie 👀

**notbarryallen:** and mick

**gayforray:** he doesn’t really count he’s rarely here

**rayofsunshine:** Mick is cooking something in the kitchen.

**TimeMom:** How much of a disaster is it?

**rayofsunshine:** Be glad you’re not here.

**notbarryallen:** that bad huh

**darhkling:** but it smells nice?

**Trenchcoat:** Can’t smell anything

**darhkling:** there’s definitely curry

**Lancelot:** Arthur Curry?

**gayforray:** who

**Lancelot:** Oh no one

**darhkling:** liar

**Lancelot:** ?

**darhkling:** I looked him up on gideon and he smoking HOT

**gayforray:** yeaH

**gayforray:** how do you know this guy and who is he

**Lancelot:** A friend of Bruce’s

**notbarryallen:** “i looked him up on gideon” kfjnlkgrgf as if she’s some kind of google

**gayforray:** GIDEON IT

**monalisa:** lmaooo

**MamaWaverider:** That is slightly derogatory, you know.

**darhkling:** sorry

**MamaWaverider:** And the other one?

**gayforray:** sorry Gideon I didn’t mean it

**MamaWaverider:** Thank you. Please, do not compare me to such a primitive baby as Google.

**Lancelot:** But it starts with a G

**notbarryallen:** you have some nerve

**darhkling:** heh

**darhkling:** so what do you think is going on with zarlie

**notbarryallen:** ZARLIE

**monalisa:** oooh you gave them a ship name 👀

**rayofsunshine:** I haven’t actually seen them since breakfast…

**gayforray:** mmmmm

**Lancelot:** They’re not in either’s room

**Trenchcoat:** Did you just go and check

**Lancelot:** Yes

**Lancelot:** The jumpship is gone

**Lancelot:** I saw you doing naked yoga in the library again btw

**Lancelot:** I shut the door

**gare-bear:** Aghdmfgegt

**darhkling:** and you’re on the phone?

**monalisa:** you’re doing naked yoga WITHOUT ME

**gayforray:** oh no

**monalisa:** you know I’m off work Johnny ;)))

**Trenchcoat:** It’s really just yoga, but I won’t say no to trying more joint positions later

**gayforray:** Sara you shouldn’t have

**Lancelot:** My bad

**darhkling:** pls like we’re disturbed by anything anymore

**monalisa:** well sorry u came up with it ;)

**monalisa:** and my boyfriend is really amazing what can I say

**notbarryallen:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**Trenchcoat:** Ta love

**monalisa:** <3

**gare-bear:** This isn’t fair

**darhkling:** life isn’t fair

**gayforray:** yeah, like me having to suffer eating a steak with dear old dad again

**Lancelot:** Imagine you’re kicking him in the junk and knocking his teeth out with your bare hands

**notbarryallen:** be rosa diaz at court

**monalisa:** just be rosa diaz

**darhkling:** just be ME

**gayforray:** GOOD ADVICE the local dashing bisexual agent is womaning up

**Lancelot:** Wow he’s just ended toxic masculinity

**notbarryallen:** skin? clear

**notbarryallen:** time? fixed

**notbarryallen:** hotel? trivago

**darhkling:** lmao it’s back

**gayforray:** it never left

**monalisa:** right miss 2038

**darhkling:** go to hell

**gayforray:** hopefully the demon will

**Lancelot:** We can always make the totem Beebo again shall everything else fail

**QueenZee:** I’m NEVER doing that again

**notbarryallen:** mood

**rayofsunshine:** Mood.

**gayforray:** mood

**darhkling:** where have you been @QueenZee

**notbarryallen:** it wasn’t so fun without you

**QueenZee:** thanks, buddy

**QueenZee:** I’m actually in LA

**gayforray:** what why

**Lancelot:**  👀

**QueenZee:** [ _image attached_ : girlgangtherapy.jpeg]

**rayofsunshine:** Say hi to them!

**darhkling:** what are you doing with linda, chloe and ella

**QueenZee:** so you know how I said I could take care of myself and my feelings?

**QueenZee:** I…well, couldn’t

**QueenZee:** I needed to vent in a safe environment where no one would judge or call me out and where there’s no Charlie

**QueenZee:** I should’ve told you but

**Lancelot:** Is this what we made you feel like

**gayforray:** oh my god Zee

**darhkling:** I’m so sorry

**rayofsunshine:** Take all the time off you need.

**notbarryallen:** I hope you’re having a good time at least

**QueenZee:** in LA? you bet

**QueenZee:** and no it’s fine, I just

**QueenZee:** it’s the anxiety

**darhkling:** <3

**darhkling:** ok but do you have any idea where actually IS Charlie

**QueenZee:** they’re not with you

**Lancelot:** No

**Lancelot:** They weren’t on the jumpship with you?

**QueenZee:** no

**gayforray:** ok I know it’s probably fine and they’re Charlie, there’s no need to worry, but I’m worried

**rayofsunshine:** Yeah.

**darhkling:** gideon, where are they?

**MamaWaverider:** They are actually hiding in one of the empty storage rooms.

**monalisa:** sigh of relief

**Lancelot:** Thank god

**gayforray:** so it was nothing

**QueenZee:** you actually gave me a scare there

**rayofsunshine:** So you… admit you care about them.

**QueenZee:** …

**QueenZee:** idk how or why cause they’re goddamn insufferable but yeah I do

**darhkling:** you, my dear, have a type

**monalisa:** ohohoh yeahhhh

**QueenZee:** shut up, Nora

**QueenZee:** how’s your Ray/Nate situation going

**darhkling:** shut UP I’m not discussing that here

**darhkling:** …yeah I get it

**gayforray:** and you’d discuss it somewhere else 👀

**rayofsunshine:** 👀 ❤️

**darhkling:** you know what maybe venting to linda martin isn’t that much of a bad idea

**notbarryallen:** you go girl I support you

**gayforray:** and I just realized that we created a giant paradox by talking to Lucifer and his friends cause we weren’t supposed to meet them till 2023 and here we are

**monalisa:** and you just ruined the mood

**darhkling:** mood

**darhkling:** but there was no mood to begin with

**monalisa:** feelings mood

**Lancelot:** Stop saying mood


	128. let's go polyamory?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LEGENDS TODAY LEGENDS TODAY LEGENDS TO– ~~except i'm a european and still gotta wait till tomorrow~~
> 
> also. the feeling when it's april 1 and you're posting a chapter taking place on march 1 *sigh* where are the good old times when i live-wrote about what was happening on the same day
> 
> anyway. enjoy! there's a guest in this chapter ;)

**2019/03/01**

 

 **gayforray:** heLP ME

 **darhkling:** you can do it

 **gayforray:** but I don’t want to

 **Lancelot:** Save the world Nate

 **rayofsunshine:** I’m sorry I can’t be there to support you.

 **gayforray:** but you can distract me ;)

 **gayforray:** how’s earth-38

 **rayofsunshine:** Shiny as always.

 **Lancelot:** It has great food and lesbians so it’s My World

 **TimeMom:** Remember to go back 😉

 **Lancelot:** To you? Always, babe

 **darhkling:** so alex and kate are all over each other

 **QueenZee:** 👀

 **monalisa:** otp

 **darhkling:** [ _image attached_ : brunchclub.jpeg]

 **QueenZee:** ugh I’m glad the power lesbians are happy

 **monalisa:** and wbu 👀

 **trickstergoddess:** we’re happy too eh zari

 **QueenZee:** …

 **QueenZee:** when will you be coming back guys

 **Lancelot:** After brunch

 **gayforray:** you’re having brunch and we’re having DINNER

 **smartsnart:** why are you on e-38

 **rayofsunshine:** Because I’m helping Kara build a device that can reach Argo! She’ll be able to talk to Clark and Lois.

 **gayforray:** it’s like the one Amaya has

 **smartsnart:** I see

 **gayforray:** so anyway I’m meeting with dad now wish me luck

 **Lancelot:** Be 👏 Rosa 👏 Diaz 👏

 **TimeMom:** Remember the mission.

 **Trenchcoat:** And roast the bastard after

 **gayforray:** thanks that’s very supportive

 **monalisa:** idkif that’s sarcasm or not….,,

 **gayforray:** you choose ;)

 **QueenZee:** so who else has some news

 **gare** - **bear:** It’s March we’ve survived the first two months of 2019

 **TimeMom:** That isn’t news

 **Lancelot:** But it’s still a miracle

 **notbarryallen:** hello I have NEWS

 **darhkling:** right on cue

 **notbarryallen:** WE SPENT A NIGHT IN BEIJING

 **notbarryallen:** [ _image attached_ : sunrise.jpeg]

 **notbarryallen:** AND NOW WE’RE READU TO MOVE

 **rayofsunshine:** Right, you said you were going to Tibet!

 **Lancelot:** Isn’t it like 7 am in China

 **notadick:** it is

 **notadick:** tell that to wally

 **notbarryallen:** IM EXCITED

 **TimeMom:** Did you go sighseeing yesterday?

 **notadick:** yeah

 **notbarryallen:** CHECK MY INSTAGRAM

 **notbarryallen:** I’ll stop using capslock now

 **darhkling:** mood

 **monalisa:** ARE U GOIN TO HONG KONG

 **monalisa:** MY FAM IS FROM HONG KONG

 **notadick:** we’re not

 **notadick:** it’s too much of a detour

 **notbarryallen:** yeah sorry

 **monalisa:** :(((

 **monalisa:** but ur a speedster sooo

 **notbarryallen:** china is bigger than america

 **Lancelot:** That’s not actually a valid argument and you know it

 **notbarryallen:** …

 **notbarryallen:** we’re not going to hong kong just to take a pic for you sorry mona

 **monalisa:** yeah I know, nvm

 **monalisa:** I can take gary’s courier and go there myself if I wanna lol

 **gare-bear:** @monalisa babe have you ever been to China

 **monalisa:** yeah I have

 **monalisa:** 3 times actually

 **notbarryallen:** nice

 **Jaxon:** whos thinking of crazy rich asians rn

 **Lancelot:** Me

 **monalisa:** me

 **notbarryallen:** me

 **monalisa:** except that was in singapore, I’ve never been to singapore

 **rayofsunshine:** I cried when we watched that.

 **darhkling:** crybaby ray is back

 **darhkling:** but no I’m not making fun of you lmao movies make me emotional toooo

 **Trenchcoat:** You’re made for each other

 **darhkling:** thanks I know

 **rayofsunshine:** <3

 **gayforray:** what did I hear

 **gayforray:** or, read

 **Trenchcoat:** You’re all made for each other

 **gayforray:** THAT’S RIGHT

 **smartsnart:** so you’ve had the talk

 **rayofsunshine:** What talk?

 **smartsnart:** that you all like each other and want to move in together and have each other’s babies?

 **gayforray:** kldjffmef

 **gayforray:** asdasasaskmk

 **darhkling:** are you all right

 **Lancelot:** Leo I swear

 **rayofsunshine:** Am _I_ all right?

 **monalisa:** is nora cause

 **darhkling:** fine, fine, thank you

 **smartsnart:** so did you

 **gayforray:** nO no one mentioned babies

 **gayforray:** we’re NOT doing that

 **rayofsunshine:** But IDK, we’re testing the waters?

 **Lancelot:** Ooooh

 **Jaxon:** ooooohhh

 **smartsnart:** ooohhhh

 **monalisa:** ooooohh 👀

 **QueenZee:** wow

 **gare-bear:** Let’s go polyamory?

 **monalisa:** *poly heart emoji*

 **Lancelot:** We are LEGENDS and we’re the CHILLEST people ever 👏

 **gayforray:** AVE US

 **Jaxon:** wut

 **rayofsunshine:** That’s latin for “hail”.

 **gayforray:** except I didn’t want to say that cause y’know

 **notbarryallen:** hail hydra!!!

 **gare-bear:** HAIL HYDRA

 **notbarryallen:** lol gary

 **gayforray:** and that

 **Jaxon:** speakin of hydra captain marvel is soon whos excited were excited

 **notbarryallen:** yeS

 **gayforray:** YES

 **Lancelot:** Give me that girlpower lesbian movie NOW

 **gare-bear:** And Goose

 **gayforray:** and the story how Fury lost his eye

 **QueenZee:** you’re gonna love it

 **notbarryallen:** U WITH THE SPOILERS SHIT UP

 **notbarryallen:** *shut up

 **QueenZee:** I didn’t SAY anything you shut up

 **gare-bear:** Yeah I’m more excited now!!!

 **Jaxon:** r we seeing it in the theater together again or

 **rayofsunshine:** Good idea!

 **Lancelot:** Or we could suck up to Bruce like we SAID

 **gayforray:** BETTER IDEA

 **Lancelot:** Except Kate says no :(

 **darhkling:** [ _image attached_ : unimpressed.jpeg]

 **Jaxon:** lmao

 **Jaxon:** but its sad

 **notbarryallen:** gideon play despacito

 **QueenZee:** NO why would you do this to us

 **grunt:** the fuck

 **notbarryallen:** maybe I just wanted to summon mick

 **Lancelot:** In that case, mission accomplished

 **notbarryallen:** mick what’s ur opinion on captain marvel

 **grunt:** hot hero chick whos more powerful than thor? hell yeah

 **darhkling:** MORE POWERFUL THAN THOR

 **gayforray:** okay but Carol Danvers is a lot like Kara Danvers

 **monalisa:** blonde, alien, can fly, really fucking powerful, loves cats, gay af??? spot the difference

 **notbarryallen:** :o

 **Lancelot:** I showed this to her and

 **Lancelot:** She flipped OUT

 **rayofsunshine:** [ _image attached_ : reallifepikachuface.jpeg]

 **gayforray:** so I take it they don’t have the comics on e-38

 **darhkling:** NO BITCH WE DON’T WHAT IS THIS

 **darhkling:** THEY COPIED ME

 **gayforray:** hello welcome back to our chat

 **darhkling:** oh yeah hi everyone but seriously what 👀

 **darhkling:** NOT THAT I’M NOT FREAKING OUT IN A GOOD WAY

 **darhkling:** and why did you have to take that photo ray ughhhh

 **notbarryallen:** chaotic good™

 **Jaxon:** we dont have kara danvers here so we have carol danvers instead lmao

 **QueenZee:** you have to come to our earth next week, we’ll watch it together!!!

 **monalisa:** we can cancel girls’ night and do MOVIE NIGHT INSTEAD

 **gayforray:** but with US right

 **grunt:** what do the states have to do with that

 **Jaxon:** omg

 **gayforray:** WITH US GUYS

 **Lancelot:** If you ask nicely ;)

 **QueenZee:** that’s actually a good idea

 **darhkling:** yeah ok good plan

 **darhkling:** see you later today gals 💪

 **monalisa:** yas queen

 **darhkling:** yeah I agree

 **Lancelot:** Come to think of it we’ll stick around till Kara and co. are leaving too since it’s Friday

 **TimeMom:** I have to spend another five hours without you???

 **Lancelot:** Aww  <3

 **Lancelot:** I’ll make it up to you ok

 **TimeMom:** I was joking but that works too 😘

 **TimeMom:** What about you, Nate, how’s the dinner going?

 **gayforray:** it’s excruciatingly slow but I’ll get the intel 👍

 **gayforray:** still haven’t gotten past soup

 **gayforray:** also I gotta stop talking now I’ll tell you once I have something

 **rayofsunshine:** Hang tight babe  <3

 **darhkling:** <3

 **gayforray:** <3

 **Trenchcoat:** Don’t choke on the soup, we need you alive to beat the system


	129. SAY YES IDIOT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO i guessed almost everything right again except for AVA like what was THAT??? hereby that part of canon is CANCELLED. i'm living in this verse now. it's a dc reboot. here, ava is the one to decide they're gonna save the tiny dragon, she fights for her bureau, hank can go to hell, and bruce can fund the time bureau. and make it justice league hq or something. seriously, everything in the arrowverse would be solved if they just let the batfam join it. i hope they do it right with batwoman (and that we'll see the kids!!!)
> 
> enjoy!

**2019/03/03**

 

 **notbarryallen:** [ _image attached_ : mountainsandchill.jpeg]

 **notbarryallen:** this is the most peaceful place I’ve seen

 **gayforray:** we know, we’ve been there

 **Lancelot:** I agree

 **grunt:** looks really cold

 **notbarryallen:** yeah it is

 **notbarryallen:** but SPRING IS COMING

 **monalisa:** wow you reversed it

 **TimeMom:** How are you settling in?

 **notadick:** we’re staying with these rly nice people for now

 **notadick:** then we’ll see if we can find smth more permanent

 **monalisa:** ok but do you even have wifi

 **notbarryallen:** lmao we don’t

 **rayofsunshine:** This chat is connected to Gideon, so as long as the ship stays in 2019 or the time vortex, they can talk to us!

 **monalisa:** ohhh right

 **monalisa:** this is smth mentioned at the beginning ig?

 **rayofsunshine:** Yes.

 **notbarryallen:** but for now well just soak up the nature and peace

 **notbarryallen:** ttyl

 **Lancelot:** Peace out and try not to run into any dragons

 **notadick:** we can try

 **gayforray:** how’s Fury doing

 **Lancelot:** Damage 😂

 **Lancelot:** No she’s Damian’s baby now

 **TimeMom:** We made the right call.

 **gayforray:** yeah

 **monalisa:** the confession you got from hank, did curtis work on it yet?

 **TimeMom:** Yes, we have direct evidence of his secret ops, which we can bring to the board, but we still don’t know which of them might be in on it.

 **Lancelot:** But my dear Ava is bravely working on that so don’t worry team

 **monalisa:** I just wanna get this over with

 **Trenchcoat:** Me fucking too

 **gayforray:** nice entrance

 **QueenZee:** mine’s better

 **darhkling:** slow clap

 **rayofsunshine:** Ok, you all win.

 **darhkling:** the ball hits the net and everybody cheers!!!

 **Jaxon:** rly

 **gayforray:** so hey it’s sunday and there’s no creature threatening history what are our plans

 **grunt:** drinking

 **QueenZee:** video games

 **Lancelot:** Date night with Aves

 **Trenchcoat:** Scheming and warlock business

 **rayofsunshine:** Nothing but that home cooked dinner?

 **gayforray:** ok cause I found this new restaurant in DC and I thought we could idk go on a group date

 **gayforray:** we’ve never done one

 **grunt:** no

 **monalisa:** I like that!!!

 **monalisa:** @gare-bear @Trenchcoat

 **Trenchcoat:** Like I said, I have things to do

 **gare-bear:** But I’ll go!!! I’ve never been on a group date… or a double date…

 **QueenZee:** or a date

 **gare-bear:** I’ve been on many!

 **QueenZee:** yeah I know but you had that coming

 **gare-bear:** Fair…

 **Jaxon:** mood

 **gayforray:** wbu & charlie @QueenZee 👀

 **QueenZee:** yeah, I don’t think we’re doing that

 **Lancelot:** Why not, it can be fun

 **TimeMom:** So we’re in?

 **Lancelot:** Yeah I thought

 **TimeMom:** No, it’s not a bad idea. I’ve never been included in this sort of thing either.

 **darhkling:** neither was I

 **gayforray:** honestly this is so sad

 **gayforray:** I knew why I suggested it

 **gayforray:** @trickstergoddess convince Zee to do it pls

 **trickstergoddess:** do what

 **trickstergoddess:** oh right a group date, whatever that is

 **Lancelot:** It’s a bunch of couples going on a date together and sharing embarrassing stories, mostly ;)

 **rayofsunshine:** Except we know all of those already.

 **darhkling:** pretty much

 **QueenZee:** but we don’t know John & the ot3’s

 **monalisa:** NO

 **gare-bear:** If John’s not going 👀

 **gayforray:** does that mean you’re interested, Zee

 **QueenZee:** ughhh idk

 **QueenZee:** as a part of a friend group, maybe

 **trickstergoddess:** what if I ask you out on a actual first date

 **QueenZee:** you’re not that kind of person

 **trickstergoddess:** I might be for you

 **monalisa:** oooooooooo

 **darhkling:** sdfghjkl

 **gayforray:** Zari she’s serious when she says this

 **QueenZee:** …

 **trickstergoddess:** I am

 **trickstergoddess:** I wanna go on a date with you, zari

 **Lancelot:** SAY YES IDIOT

 **rayofsunshine:** That’s our captain!

 **QueenZee:** okAY if you stop bothering me

 **trickstergoddess:** you wont regret it ;)

 **QueenZee:** the winky face says otherwise

 **trickstergoddess:** ;)))

 **QueenZee:** stop

 **trickstergoddess:** make me

 **smartsnart:** go get a room

 **Trenchcoat:** Please continue

 **monalisa:** johnny lmao

 **gare-bear:** Why won’t you join us too?

 **Trenchcoat:** You have fun, I’m busy and besides I’m not into this whole group date thing

 **gayforray:** well TECHNICALLY it’s a group date if there are 3 people 😉

 **Trenchcoat:** That’s different

 **Trenchcoat:** They’re my two people

 **monalisa:** awwww ily

 **gare-bear:** <3

 **Trenchcoat:** Now don’t get too soft on me

 **darhkling:** wouldn’t be you otherwise

 **trickstergoddess:** zee can get soft on me any time

 **darhkling:** suave

 **gayforray:** yeS

 **QueenZee:** ok this is too much

 **trickstergoddess:** so you do have feelings

 **QueenZee:** ofc I have feelings shut up

 **Lancelot:** I love how nothing has changed

 **Lancelot:** So when are we doing it, I assume today?

 **gayforray:** working on the reservation as we speak 👍

 **smartsnart:** you’re fast

 **monalisa:** it’s not anything too fancy right

 **gayforray:** no nothing like that it’s healthy Asian cuisine

 **rayofsunshine:** That’s great!

 **darhkling:** noice

 **TimeMom:** My kind of establishment.

 **grunt:** not mine

 **QueenZee:** you said you weren’t going anyway

 **Trenchcoat:** And somehow you’re not making him go

 **Lancelot:** Mick’s Mick, he can’t be convinced to do something he doesn’t want to do

 **grunt:** yeah

 **gayforray:** is 7 okay

 **TimeMom:** Fine by me!

 **Lancelot:** Yeah

 **darhkling:** 7 is god

 **darhkling:** *good

 **monalisa:** 7 IS GOD I’M

**gare-bear: 😂**

**Lancelot:** Shh do you want them to show up here too

 **trickstergoddess:** what

 **gayforray:** that one time god talked to the leaders and Kara sent a screenshot to everyone

 **Lancelot:** It’s always bc of Lucifer smh

 **trickstergoddess:** I missed that

 **Jaxon:** kara @ed everyone

 **trickstergoddess:** must’ve been the day mick wanted me to get drunk with him cos he had to give the dragon away

 **trickstergoddess:** I don’t remember much of that

 **grunt:** now you reminded me

 **rayofsunshine:** Don’t be sad! You can visit Fury any time you want.

 **grunt:** I want a dragon

 **Lancelot:** No we’re not keeping a dragon on the ship

 **gayforray:** where would we even get one

 **darhkling:** maybe there was a mom somewhere in tibet

 **darhkling:** or a dad

 **darhkling:** or more hatchlings

 **QueenZee:** they could be somewhere else in time, what do we know

 **Lancelot:** Don’t give Mick ideas pls

 **grunt:** too late

 **MamaWaverider:** Oh no.

 **Lancelot:** Gideon, Mick isn’t allowed to use the jumpship and time couriers on his own _or_ search for more dragons, got it?

 **MamaWaverider:** Yes, captain.

**grunt: 😟**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> note: i'm not writing the date as an interlude, i'm too tired & depressed & busy with impending finals to really do those anymore :(


	130. what happened to gotham

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so just a heads up, there will be a hiatus here for 4 days cos the next 4 chapters are all the other fic lmao it happened on accident i swear 😂 but 3/4 chapters have literally everyone and contain the captain marvel thing so you might as well go read them when they come out
> 
> enjoy!

**The Inner Circle  
2019/03/05**

**TimeMom:** Almost there.

**gayforray:** we’re gonna make it

**holt-the-door:** I believe in us

* * *

 

**Team Trash Humans**

**rayofsunshine:** So, @grunt, how does it feel to be the only single person on the ship again?

**grunt:** I don’t care

**grunt:** being single is great

**darhkling:** you don’t CARE but do you know what it MEANS

**darhkling:** 2 days after the DATE and their second KISS zarlie SAILED

**darhkling:** AND IT IS tuesday MY DUDES

**darhkling:** shit this didn’t work why can’t it be wednesday

**gayforray:** yooooo

**notbarryallen:** yoooo

**notadick:** fuck no one told me

**gayforray:** wally HOW

**notbarryallen:** I JUST FOUND OUT

**smartsnart:** you’re not the only one

**notbarryallen:** we spent two days meditating, no phones, no nothing

**Lancelot:** No clothes

**notbarryallen:** yes clothes 🙄

**notadick:** shame though

**notbarryallen:** this chat is the only I have notifs on

**notbarryallen:** and no one talked here so

**QueenZee:** GUYS HONESTLY

**darhkling:** AND THERE SHE IS

**Lancelot:** The lady herself

**rayofsunshine:** I bet you’re having deja vus…

**QueenZee:** 50 points to ravenclaw

**QueenZee:** and this is also why I’m getting Luci’s girl gang therapy so shut up

**gayforray:** I’m proud of you

**trickstergoddess:** im proud of us too

**trickstergoddess:** weve come a long way zee

**gare-bear:** Aww

**monalisa:** !!!

**trickstergoddess:** now come and snog me im in the kitchen  & I have pancakes

**QueenZee:** you got me with pancakes

**darhkling:** …ok wouldn’t be you

**monalisa:** you’d know

**trickstergoddess:** you shoudve said snogging

**QueenZee:**  ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**grunt:** pancakes?

**trickstergoddess:** come too

**QueenZee:** actually don’t

**Lancelot:** OoO

**notbarryallen:** did you just type that

**Lancelot:** Acidentally

**notbarryallen:** and are you making the face

**Lancelot:** I’m not saying that

**QueenZee:** and I’m not letting you watch

**Lancelot:** :(

**grunt:** like you already said

**gayforray:** Sara lol

**Lancelot:** Aves how’s it going can I pop by for a lil makeout session too

**Lancelot:** Ik you’re here

**notbarryallen:** always the lurker

**TimeMom:** …

**TimeMom:** Come in 20 minutes, I’m dealing with cadets right now.

**Lancelot:** Ok

**gare-bear:** Suddenly I’m terrified

**monalisa:** oh god are you roasting the cadets ava

**TimeMom:** They need to know discipline.

**gare-bear:** She was always so mean but shhh I’m not supposed to say that

**TimeMom:** Ahem.

**gare-bear:** Oh dear

**Lancelot:** Give ‘em hell, Aves

**gayforray:** damn

**QueenZee:** I wouldn’t want avalance to by my bosses tbh

**darhkling:** except

**QueenZee:** *I wouldn’t want to be a time bureau cadet with ava as the boss

**TimeMom:** I’m gonna pretend I didn’t see that.

**Lancelot:** 👁️👁️

**notadick:** the fuck

**Lancelot:** I am Watching you

**gayforray:** level up

**darhkling:** more like the apocalypse wtf

**Lancelot:** 👁️👁️

**gayforray:** stop that

**rayofsunshine:** Who are you and what have you done with Sara?

**Lancelot:** Very funny, Ray

**grunt:** this is creepy

**monalisa:** heck yeah aklmngsdfdsj

**notadick:** I wouldn’t want to cross you

**gayforray:** says a former vigilante from Gotham

**notadick:** what’s gotham have to do with it

**gayforray:** it’s dark and creepy?

**notadick:** it’s not? it’s sunny and warm? like metropolis?

**notadick:** wtf does e-1 gotham look like

**Lancelot:** [ _image attached_ : actualfootage.mp4]

**notadick:** this doesn’t make sense

**QueenZee:** wait you’ve never been to gotham here

**notadick:** I lived in cc?

**notbarryallen:** let’s not forget he worked at starbucks y’all

**darhkling:** oh right rick grayson the hipster barista with bleached hair

**gayforray:** earth 18 is weird

**notadick:** you’re the weird ones,

**monalisa:** no but it makes sense

**monalisa:** if gotham is right across the bay from metropolis and metropolis is always bright and sunny why isn’t gotham, they should have the same weather, right

**monalisa:** I mean

**gayforray:** dayum

**QueenZee:** what happened to Gotham

**darhkling:** sara show this to bruce

**Lancelot:** Hmmm

**gare-bear:** The government unleashed some weird chemicals on Gotham once and it causes unnatural amount of clouds and madness in people 👀

**monalisa:** lol ok gary

**notadick:** well, we had pretty much the same criminals here

**notadick:** only the weather was nice

**notadick:** and we actually got rid of them

**notadick:** hence me being here, retired  & chilling with my man ;)

**gayforray:** I still can’t imagine that and I’ve been to gotham ONCE

**Lancelot:** Bruce says he wouldn’t put that past the government

**Lancelot:** That they almost nuked them once when there were chemicals in the bay and no bridges to the mainland

**notbarryallen:** no offence but wtf is wrong with gotham

**notadick:** can’t possibly be offended babe

**QueenZee:** that’s a question everyone’s been asking since like the 90s

**QueenZee:** I’ve had history too, you know

**smartsnart:** not even earth-x was like this

**gayforray:** wow

**rayofsunshine:** Why hasn’t everyone run to Metropolis already? I myself love that city almost like home. Visited it a lot.

**Lancelot:** “because Gothamites are used to this”

**Lancelot:** Yeah, I don’t get them either

**darhkling:** or they could’ve just gone to nyc

**monalisa:** ig it’s the aesthetic

**grunt:** they really like batman

**Lancelot:** “we got rid of most criminals too, you know”

**rayofsunshine:** Are you just transcribing what Bruce texts you?

**Lancelot:** Yeah it’s fun

**Lancelot:** Kate: I did, not you

**Lancelot:** Bruce: you can’t prove that

**Lancelot:** Kate: :o

**notbarryallen:** did u forget screenshots exist

**Lancelot:** It’s a video chat

**notbarryallen:** ohhh

**rayofsunshine:** Where are you, I want to see!

**Lancelot:** My bedroom and I’m NOT letting anyone in here

**rayofsunshine:** :(

**Lancelot:** Kate: and Gotham isn’t THAT dark, you’re exaggerating it

**Lancelot:** Kate: whenever you see it on the news it’s at night cause all crime usually happens at night

**Lancelot:** Bruce then went to the window and took a picture

**Lancelot:** [ _image attached_ : theressunoutthere.jpeg]

**rayofsunshine:** That’s actually a really nice view.

**notadick:** legends istg

**smartsnart:** tt

**gayforray:** ok I admit it was the beginning of February when we were here and we were mostly drunk

**darhkling:** ok you’re right

**Lancelot:** But the thing with the bridges really happened in 2002

**Lancelot:** Ra’s did that

**Lancelot:** Bruce: and then we beat Bane and rebuilt them, it happens

**Lancelot:** Talia actually helped them

**TimeMom:** Did they tell you that? When you were in the League?

**Lancelot:** Yeah

**TimeMom:** I actually don’t know much about you from those times.

**Lancelot:** You don’t want to, babe

**Lancelot:** It’s too… dark

**TimeMom:** No, I completely understand.

**TimeMom:** I love you.

**TimeMom:** And I’m done with the training session now.

**Lancelot:** Ok I’m coming  <3

**grunt:** [ _image attached_ : walkedinonthis.jpeg]

**gayforray:** omg what are they doing with that syrup

**monalisa:** 👀

**darhkling:**...

**QueenZee:** eating pancakes

**notbarryallen:** feeding each other with pancakes, you mean

**trickstergoddess:** arent you a bright lad


	131. too bloody late

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY LMAO
> 
> so this chapter is the latest episode rewritten to fit into this lil verse i created—but there wasn't much to rewrite; it's actually as if i wrote it all along cos it just FITS into this story PERFECTLY
> 
> enjoy!

**The Inner Circle  
2019/03/09**

**gayforray:** you got into Hank’s encrypted files @gare-bear?

**gare-bear:** I’m in

**holt-the-door:** reroute it to me

**gare-bear:** I’ll have you know I have some hacking abilities myself too! I’ve been training for this!

**monalisa:** love you’ve been practicing magic and british accent with john not this

**gayforray: 😂**

**holt-the-door:** no I’ll do this faster trust me

**gare-bear:** K

**TimeMom:** Get this bastard. He won’t destroy my Bureau.

**monalisa:** 💪

**gayforray:** I mean, Bruce can always finance us

**holt-the-door:** omg that would so epic

**gare-bear:** Yeah!!!

**TimeMom:** That’s not a bad idea…

**gayforray:** seE

**gayforray:** tell Sara to text him or smth

**gayforray:** in the meantime, I’m down for another awful “”bonding afternoon”” cause there’s been a bones alert and Guess what

**TimeMom:** Good luck.

**monalisa:** good luck with the stomach bug ava

**TimeMom:** Thanks, I hate this. I should be at work.

**holt-the-door:** the bureau can survive one day 👍

**TimeMom:** I certainly hope so.

**holt-the-door:** but don’t let em catch you @monalisa

**monalisa:** we can try

**monalisa:** distract them if sth happens?

**gare-bear:** Always

 

* * *

 

**Team Trash Humans**

**notbarryallen:** so where are u going

**rayofsunshine:** 1973\. We gotta grab Nixon!

**Lancelot:** Suddenly he’s not lying

**Lancelot:** It’s weird

**notbarryallen:** wow

**notbarryallen:** weirder than meeting future me

**QueenZee:** kinda

**QueenZee:** but guess who got sidelined again

**monalisa:** almost everyone,,,

**trickstergoddess:** at least im not on the b team again

**QueenZee:** unfair

**trickstergoddess:** 😛

**gayforray:** you’re starting off your relationship nicely

**notbarryallen:** did you make out at the movies

**QueenZee:** 😮

**trickstergoddess:** no z kept going on about how hot everyone was

**gayforray:** especially Carol

**QueenZee:** go to hell

**QueenZee:** you did that, not me

**monalisa:** well…

**notbarryallen:** lmao

**Lancelot:** Zari you’re not the B-team, you’re backup ;)

**rayofsunshine:** This mission sounds easy, so.

**gayforray:** let’s not forget my dad trying to eliminate us on the demon’s orders

**rayofsunshine:** It’s to keep you out of the Bureau’s business. Besides, when did you ever complain about having to do nothing?

**QueenZee:** true

**QueenZee:** imma go play video games who’s with me

**darhkling:** let’s go

**monalisa:** guess I’ll join you

**QueenZee:** girl gang!

**darhkling:** let’s talk about yesterday 👀

**notbarryallen:** you mean the party 👀

**monalisa:**  😏

**gare-bear:** What happened at a party

**darhkling:** tea

**gare-bear:** Ooohh

**gare-bear:** But I have to work :(

**monalisa:** tell ya later  <3

**Lancelot:** So the rest of us, we’re off

**trickstergoddess:** aye aye captain

 

* * *

 

**The Inner Circle**

**holt-the-door:** got it

**holt-the-door:** it’s just hank, no one else knows about this

**holt-the-door:** I also found some secret files from the past? it’s super weird

**TimeMom:** What’s in them?

**holt-the-door:** [ _image attached_ : 20190309_130926.png]

**gayforray:** fucK

**TimeMom:** But this means we can expose him without any graver consequences.

**monalisa:** just show it to the bigger authorities

**gayforray:** he deserves it

**TimeMom:** This really makes me want to get up from bed and get my ass over there.

**gayforray:** ik you’re my boss but YOU NEED TO REST YOU DUMB GAY

**holt-the-door:** we have this, ok

**TimeMom:** …

**TimeMom:** I trust you.

**gayforray:** and he trusts me so 👌

**gayforray:** he’s just told me he’s going after the legends in 73

 

* * *

 

**Team Trash Humans**

**gayforray:** LEGENDS GET THE FUCK OUT

**Lancelot:** We got Dick so it’s Good 👍

**QueenZee:** he’s coming here isn’t he

**monalisa:** damn I gotta hide

**darhkling:** where’s mick

**grunt:** kitchen

**Lancelot:** Bridge, now

**MamaWaverider:** I’m afraid it’s too late. I’m turning myself off. Legends, run.

**QueenZee:** ok

**gayforray:** and hide your phones in case he does find you despite my valiant efforts

**Trenchcoat:** We should’ve stayed in LA

**darhkling:** damn you’re right

**trickstergoddess:** you fucking fucks

**rayofsunshine:** ?

**rayofsunshine:** Oh.

**trickstergoddess:** you LEFT ME HERE

**gayforray:** I said run

**trickstergoddess:** I didnt check my mobile you idiot

**gayforray:** comms are dangerous

**Lancelot:** Zari’ll get you ;)

**trickstergoddess:** be a darling  <3

**QueenZee:** coming

**darhkling:** me too

**darhkling:** I’ve got magic I can knock the agents down

**trickstergoddess:** great and now hurry

**QueenZee:** yeah this isn’t going to be awkward at all

**notbarryallen:** lol it’s your gf and your ex together

**notbarryallen:** can’t have it any other way

 

* * *

 

**The Inner Circle**

**gayforray:** they shook him off so I have more dad downtime help meeeee

**holt-the-door:** oof I’m sorry

**gayforray:** gotta go :(

 

* * *

 

**Team Trash Humans**

**Lancelot:** @TimeMom you’ve got a stomach bug

**Lancelot:** And we’ve got a truth bug

**TimeMom:** ?

**grunt:** a fucking roach

**grunt:** makes you tell the truth

**TimeMom:** The irony…

**Lancelot:** Yeah

**Lancelot:** How are you doing, babe

**TimeMom:** Ugh, I feel like throwing up but nothing comes out.

**TimeMom:** I’m just binging Friends here and waiting for you to come home.

**Lancelot:** <3

**grunt:** can’t you do something about the time pigs

**TimeMom:** Hank’s acting director when I’m off duty, so it’s his call, and I have to stay in his good graces until the whole affair is dealt with.

**grunt:** hmmmm

**QueenZee:** so we’re back on the Waverider

**QueenZee:** need us to do anything

**Lancelot:** Keep tabs on Hank and the agents and warn us if something happens

**Lancelot:** Or when it’s safe to go back and get the hell outta here

**Trenchcoat:** We could also use a portal so we could get Nixon back where he belongs now that he’s debugged

**Trenchcoat:** Gary?

**TimeMom:** I guess Gary’s busy with the files, and I’m afraid I can’t get you.

**Lancelot:** Oh, right

**Lancelot:** We’ll just keep driving then

**darhkling:** we can pop to the bureau and do it

**Lancelot: 👍**

 

* * *

 

**The Inner Circle**

**gare-bear:** Someone’s here

**holt-the-door:** shit I went to the restroom

**gare-bear:** I know

**gayforray:** that’s probably just Z and Nora

**gare-bear:** No ik about them, it’s a guy

**gayforray:** Hank’s here with me, we’re on a break

**gayforray:** but hey this isn’t so horrible after all

**TimeMom:** But you know what we have to do, right?

**gayforray:** I’m not an idiot

**gare-bear:** He’s here duck duck duck

**holt-the-door:** what duck

**gare-bear:** Autocorrect

**monalisa:** lmao

**monalisa:** I might’ve also released the truth bug…

**gayforray:** oops

**gare-bear:** Ok it’s safe now Curtis

**holt-the-door:** good i’m coming back

 

* * *

 

**Team Trash Humans**

**darhkling:** fucK

**darhkling:** we’re at the bureau

**darhkling:** and then there’s this guy and I’m 100% sure he’s neron

**darhkling:** I could… feel it

**Trenchcoat:** Bloody hell

**Trenchcoat:** I knew he was close, but

**Trenchcoat:** Did you get a look on his face

**darhkling:** I didn’t see him, I just felt smth

**darhkling:** and we got the courier so we can get nixon out

**darhkling:** why is no one else talking

**monalisa:** truth bug

**monalisa:** works through text too

**QueenZee:** it’s out???

**monalisa:** yeah it’s my fault :(

**darhkling:** do you have it

**monalisa:** no but mick and ray and john did

**Trenchcoat:** Not anymore, though

**gayforray:** ok this is weird

**gayforray:** and dad’s still after you so you better hurry with the portal

**darhkling:** I don’t actually know how it works

**gare-bear:** But I do, be there in a sec

**darhkling:** and I’m still shaken from the demon visit

**darhkling:** it’s

**darhkling:** I thought I got away

**Lancelot:** Ray says anyone would freak out and that you need to breathe and that he’ll help you relax and forget all about it later ;)

**gayforray:** odd days are mine so does that mean

**darhkling:** hot tub and massage

**gayforray:** I think I’ll need that too after today

**Lancelot:** He said something I won’t say here cause the truth bug got out again

**darhkling:** aldjksngfrjkgn

**gayforray:** okkkkkkk

**notbarryallen:** 👀

**Lancelot:** Thereabouts

**Trenchcoat:** Ray can get very descriptive when nothing holds him back

**monalisa:** like, yeah

**QueenZee:** I didn’t need to know that

**Lancelot:** Be glad I don’t have the bug

**Lancelot:** I’m not the champion of holding my breath for nothing

**notbarryallen:** wait I remember that

**notbarryallen:** it was a weird conversation

**monalisa:** so how are you anyway

**notbarryallen:** calm and peaceful

**notbarryallen:** unlike you apparently 😂

**grunt:** finally they’re here

**QueenZee:** we did this as fast as we could

**QueenZee:** we’re back on the ship now

**Lancelot:** Ok, I’ll deal with Dickie here and meet you there

**QueenZee:** 👍

**Trenchcoat:** Except Nate and Pops are already here

 

* * *

 

**The Inner Circle**

**gayforray:** so the stuff we found

**gayforray:** Z said it was a lot like the apocalypse world she grew up in

**gayforray:** we called it haven’t we

**gayforray:** @TimeMom

**TimeMom:** Shit.

**holt-the-door:** there’s an apocalypse future

**TimeMom:** I’m afraid so.

**holt-the-door:** damn

**gayforray:** and it starts in ARGUS

**holt-the-door:** motherfuCKER

**holt-the-door:** I made the right call when I left

 

* * *

 

**Team Trash Humans**

**darhkling:** guys

**darhkling:** I can feel him again

**darhkling:** he’s still here at the bureau

**rayofsunshine:** You still aren’t done reviewing the evidence?

**QueenZee:** there’s a lot

**darhkling:** I just came here to look for traces of demon magic

**darhkling:** turns out there aren’t exactly traces

**gayforray:** Hank has to be talking to him right now

**gayforray:** god how I hate him

**rayofsunshine:** Can you subtly get closer and find out more?

**Trenchcoat:** He might be able to sense you

**Trenchcoat:** As you and I can sense him

**Lancelot:** Right, your spell

**rayofsunshine:** Ok, no, change of plans, get to safety right now.

**darhkling:** I can’t,

**darhkling:** I feel like this is my responsibility

**gayforray:** Nora don’t

**QueenZee:** she’s going there

**QueenZee:** just behind the corner but

**Trenchcoat:** Bollocks

**darhkling:** I’m strong enough for this, ok

**darhkling:** I can hear him talking to hank

**gayforray:** said it didn’t i

**darhkling:** wait, he’s opposing him

**darhkling:** says he wants out

**gayforray:** so he WASN’T completely on board with his plans???

**darhkling:** he’s talking about you

**gayforray:** and is my heart supposed to melt or what

**darhkling:** he wasn’t exactly a 100% willing participant

**gayforray:** so my initial suspicions were actually accurate?

**gayforray:** I thought it was just naive hope but

**darhkling:** shit he’s trying to KILL HUM NODW I GOTTA SCT

**rayofsunshine:** Nora, no!

**Trenchcoat:** You’ll get yourself killed

**QueenZee:** she’s strong but

**QueenZee:** hell

**gare-bear:** I’m coming

**Trenchcoat:** Gary, no, I can’t lose you too!

**monalisa:** shit gary don’t do this

**gare-bear:** I have to-

**Lancelot:** What’s going on

**gayforray:** I have visual

**gayforray:** Nora’s down

**gayforray:** and dad

**gayforray:** hes

**gayforray:** I’m coming theretoo

**QueenZee:** you fucking idiots

**QueenZee:** that’s a demon

**Trenchcoat:** If someone can take him down it’s me

**gare-bear:** Except uhhhh Johnny

**gare-bear:** His face

**Trenchcoat:** I’ve seen his ugly spotted mug before, he doesn’t scare me

**gare-bear:** No, John

**gare-bear:** He looks like Desmond

**TimeMom:** Oh.

**QueenZee:** 👀👀👀

**trickstergoddess:** damn youve got some luck, johno

**Lancelot:** JOHN DON’T DO ANYTHING RASH!!!

**Trenchcoat:** Too bloody late


	132. focus on the good things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this isn't really funny or happy, but after that episode, it can't really be. enjoy, though! <3

**2019/03/10**

**notbarryallen:** so is anyone gonna tell me what happened

**smartsnart:** ditto

**notbarryallen:** why is no one here

**notbarryallen:** fuck you’re not dead are you

**Jaxon:** guys???

**MamaWaverider:** No, the Legends are not dead, but I cannot say they are unharmed.

**smartsnart:** fuck do you need us to come over and punch someone

**Lancelot:** There’s nothing you can do about this

**notbarryallen:** so what DID happen

**Jaxon:** yea

**Jaxon:** there was a…demon?

**Lancelot:** Look, it’s better if they tell you themselves, but you can’t push them right now

**notbarryallen:** that bad, huh

**Jaxon:** damn

 

* * *

 

**2019/03/11**

**darhkling:** @gayforray how are you holding up

**gayforray:** eh

**gayforray:** there’s this sort of conflict inside me

**gayforray:** like, I hated him, or I wanted to hate him, but then I told him I loved him with the truth bug and heard him defy Neron and stuff, so in the end it turned out he wasn’t the bad guy

**gayforray:** and he was still my dad even if he was a shitty one

**gayforray:** so

**notbarryallen:** wait

**darhkling:** yeah

**darhkling:** neron killed him

**darhkling:** and it’s my fault, i

**gayforray:** no, don’t say that, Nor

**gayforray:** facing him alone, you couldn’t’ve stopped him

**darhkling:** but he knocked me out immediately and then killed your dad, Nate

**darhkling:** it sure as hell is my fault

**darhkling:** pun intended

**gayforray:** that was actually funny

**darhkling:** yeah, well

**Lancelot:** God, this is a pity party

**gayforray:** yeah

**gayforray:** [ _image attached_ : wrappedup.jpeg]

**notbarryallen:** does saying you n ray are kinda cute help

**gayforray:** sort of

**rayofsunshine:** It does.

**Lancelot:** Focus on the good things

**Lancelot:** You inherited everything he had, so you’re the boss now

**Lancelot:** We’re winning

**TimeMom:** Yes, I’ll rather have you being in charge if things went wrong.

**gayforray:** aww

**gayforray:** you’d enjoy being bossed around by me

**TimeMom:** I didn’t say that.

**notbarryallen:** but sara is right

**smartsnart:** when’s the funeral?

**gayforray:** 15th

**rayofsunshine:** We’re all going. He deserves as much.

**QueenZee:** that’s true

**QueenZee:** has anyone seen John?

**Lancelot:** No

**Lancelot:** I figured it was best to leave him alone

**darhkling:** it’s not every day your biggest enemy wearing your ex-boyfriend’s body almost kills you and your partners and friends just to prove a point

**gayforray:** he must be worse off than us, huh

**monalisa:** yeah

**monalisa:** he won’t even let gary and me be with him

**notbarryallen:** :(

**Lancelot:** Give him time

**Lancelot:** I know him, he’ll get it together eventually

**Lancelot:** He knows what’s at risk

**monalisa:** but it’s still killing me, you know

**Lancelot:** God, yesterday someone shot James Olsen and we’re dealing with this

**Lancelot:** What’s happened to us

**QueenZee:** idk, but I don’t like it

**gayforray:** you’re right, we’re pathetic

**TimeMom:** You’re allowed to be. All of you.

**grunt:** I’m fine, nothing’s wrong with me

**Lancelot:** Then you’re lucky

**Jaxon:** wait WHATS happened to james olsen ?

**rayofsunshine:** He was shot, but Lena gave him her newly developed Black Kryptonite cure and he’s perfectly fine. I don’t have more details, though.

**Lancelot:** There was a protest and someone didn’t like his side of the story

**QueenZee:** it’s all like where I’m from

**QueenZee:** it’s like it’s solidifying right in front of me

**darhkling:** if I learned anything during my brief stay with the legends

**darhkling:** it’s that time is fluid and we can still change this

**darhkling:** right?

**gayforray:** we can defeat the demon and his schemes

**gayforray:** we have to

**monalisa:** for your dad, and for john

**TimeMom:** And for the Bureau.

**rayofsunshine:** This is why we’re Legends. We can manage the impossible, all in flaring fashion!

**QueenZee:** how are you still so enthusiastic

**rayofsunshine:** If I’m not, no one else will.

**monalisa:** you’re right

**monalisa:** and that’s coming from me

**Lancelot:** You don’t always have to be shiny, Mona

**Lancelot:** Everyone gets depressed sometimes

**rayofsunshine:** Look at us! Half of us are mentally ill, but we’re still doing our best, and look at the results! We saved the world three times! But that doesn’t mean we always have to be all right and ready for action. Everyone needs a day off. Especially us.

**QueenZee:** you speak words of wisdom

**notbarryallen:** I agree

**notadick:** yeah

**notadick:** most people don’t know this but bruce, or at least my bruce, has serious ptsd and anxiety disorder and borderline ocd symptoms, but he carries on

**notadick:** the fact that I left doesn’t change the fact I admire him for that

**notbarryallen:** rick suffered most of this shit himself

**notadick:** like, you probably know my parents died when I was 11

**Lancelot:** Yeah

**Lancelot:** Same story here

**gayforray:** it’s the superhero traumatic past™

**monalisa:** look at you, getting better

**gayforray:** yeah, hearing this does help

**gayforray:** and thinking about being as rich as Bruce himself now

**notbarryallen:** wooo got your money back

**gayforray:** I said that at some point huh

**gayforray:** had no idea it was gonna be so soon

**darhkling:** none of us could

**rayofsunshine:** I’m pretty sure lying in my arms helps too ☺️

**gayforray:** yeah

**gayforray:** it’s really warm and comfy

**trickstergoddess:** question

**trickstergoddess:** wheres nora in that cos I thought you were supposed to be together but I just found her in her and zaris room

**darhkling:** I just

**darhkling:** being alone is what I need right now

**darhkling:** and they need to be together

**gayforray:** but you know you can come here and cuddle with us, right

**rayofsunshine:** More people to the sad sandwich!

**darhkling:** maybe later, but right now I really can’t

**darhkling:** I’m gonna read my book and try to forget about the demon

**notadick:** this must be twice as difficult for you, huh

**notadick:** with the mallus stuff

**notadick:** (wally told me)

**darhkling:** bingpot

**darhkling:** it’s all coming back to me

**darhkling:** I tried to be optimistic for a while here

**monalisa:** I appreciate the bingpot

**notbarryallen:** lol

**notbarryallen:** you should go watch b99 that would help

**Lancelot:** Good idea

**Lancelot:** I like the new season a lot

**gayforray:** same

**gayforray:** depression pile binge in our room?

**QueenZee:** sounds good

**QueenZee:** give us some happy shows

**rayofsunshine:** Or we could rewatch Captain Marvel!

**trickstergoddess:** weve seen it on friday

**grunt:** and? it was great

**darhkling:** let’s take an example from alex and kate

**Lancelot:** Ok

**Lancelot:** Funny Marvel films y’all?

**rayofsunshine:** 👍

**notbarryallen:** watch even the future ones lol

**QueenZee:** like far from home and gotg vol. 3!

**QueenZee:** we have to

**Lancelot:** This time I’m sanctioning it

**Lancelot:** Therapy

**gayforray:**!!!

**grunt:** great

**rayofsunshine:** Let’s do it then!

**darhkling:** that’s… actually not a bad idea

**darhkling:** mick’s book has to wait

**monalisa:** you’re reading mick’s books

**monalisa:** what does he read, vampire stuff

**darhkling:** no I’m reading the stuff he wrote

**grunt:** now you ruined it

**monalisa:** ruined what

**gayforray:** oH you had no idea, haven’t you

**monalisa:** about what

**TimeMom:** That he writes novels.

**TimeMom:** I thought he’d be bad, but damn, they’re addictive.

**monalisa:** wait you mentioned that once or twice but I thought you were joking??

**rayofsunshine:** We’re proud of Mick.

**QueenZee:** yeah, he’s good

**QueenZee:** I helped him see that

**monalisa:** where can I get some of those books

**Lancelot:** Mona, you’re already reading them

**Lancelot:** He’s Rebecca Silver

**monalisa:** wait WHAT

**monalisa:** OMG

**gayforray:** yeah

**darhkling:** he really is

**grunt:** why do you gotta keep telling people

**QueenZee:** we don’t keep secrets

**notbarryallen:** your books are really good so you shouldn’t be ashamed

**notbarryallen:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**grunt:** I’m not ashamed, it’s called a secret identity!

**Lancelot:** We kinda have a problem with those

**Lancelot:** Haven’t you gotten that yet

**Jaxon: 😂**


	133. [interlude] melancholy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not to sound bitchy or anything, but i haven't got any comments on the last few chapters, or maybe just one—and that's super discouraging, you know? this is kind of a fanfic psa: positive feedback = happy author = motivation to write = fic gets chapters; while getting no feedback just means losing that motivation. 
> 
> i know i'm gonna keep going and finish this—but other people would've probably stopped at this point. and like, i get it—there are fics i don't always comment on either—but i miss my bunch of regular commenters :( 
> 
> sooooo anyway here's an interlude after a bunch of chat chapters! spontaneously written yesterday! it's short and weird lmao but enjoy & maybe gimme some love?

Nate sunk deeper into ray’s embrace. Their little nest on the bed was nice and warm and comforting; almost like the blanket forts he used to build when he was a child.

The blanket forts Hank had told him to put down because he’d needed the blanket when he’d got cold watching TV.

Everything reminded him of him now. The bad things, mostly—but he still couldn’t forget the talk they’d had in the stolen police car. The moment, in which he was really just the father Nate wished he’d had his whole life. Someone who could be there for _him_ , and not just his company.

And his money. The money that was his now. Even the company. Time Bureau. Everything.

He became everyone’s boss at the time he wished he could stay and hide in this bed forever.

God _damn_ this!

God _damn_ Neron and all the demons.

For the second time, really.

Nate locked his phone and let it drop on the duvet. He felt the brush of a kiss in his hair. The corner of his mouth stretched in a smile but quickly went right back. Nate closed his eyes.

They stayed closed until the moment the door to their room slid open and revealed a slightly dishevelled Nora, wearing a pair of chequered pyjamas and looking no less beaten down. She padded to the bed and sat on the opposite side.

‘Hey,’ she croaked. She’s been crying.

‘Hey yourself.’ Ray nudged her thigh with his foot. Nate knew he was beaming at her. He couldn’t. Their combined sorrow was too much to bear.

Nora sighed.

‘So where’s the movie?’ She tucked a strand of messy hair behind her ear. It looked like she’s truly been in bed all day. ‘I need some of that silly happiness right now.’

Nate snorted. ‘Yeah. We all do, huh?’

Ray’s fingers ghosted over the skin of his arm. ‘We’re waiting for everyone to get up and get here,’ he said. ‘Gideon, set up _Guardians of the Galaxy_ and pause it at the beginning, please.’

‘Right away, Dr Palmer,’ said the mechanical voice of Gideon. The screen on the wall lit up and showed the Marvel logo. That alone made everything a tad better.

Just a little.

But still better.

Nora made her way next to Ray; he hugged her from one side and the wall, lined with pillows, from another. She placed her hand on Ray and Nate’s entwined ones.

No one said anything.

They didn’t feel like it.

Until, ‘You look like hell.’

It was Zari. Sara and Charlie stood in the doorway right next to her. Sara added, ‘You should really get it together, Legends.’ Though, the uncertainty in her voice didn’t exactly convince anyone.

‘Start the movie, Ray,’ Nate heard himself say.

‘Gideon?’

The Marvel theme played.

He really hoped that by the fourth one, he would forget. He knew he _wouldn’t_ , but he still _hoped._

He had to.

For the world.


	134. dopest family ever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so that episode was DOPE lol but let's just... erase all that zari/nate part... pls don't... they're like best friends, NOT that... nate loves RAY and zari loves CHARLIE... and even if they don't, it feels forced... i was actually cringing when he tried to kiss her ugh BUT we had a steelatom i love you scene two episodes in a row plus that CHEEK KISS like. THAT'S an otp. and DARHKATOM. finally!!!
> 
> so yeah. i changed some things again. enjoy!

**2019/03/16**

**QueenZee:** I still can’t with this

**QueenZee:** “no woman has ever resisted my charms”

**QueenZee:** like bitch you’re cute but I’m GAY

**Lancelot:** I’m pretty sure he got that when you ran off and wanted to marry Charlie

**trickstergoddess:** that was a fun night, eh, girlfriend

**Lancelot:** QueenZee more like QueerZee

**monalisa:** FromAceToZee

**notbarryallen:** zarilovescharlie

**darhkling:** snort

**trickstergoddess:** pity we never actually tied the knot

**trickstergoddess:** thanks a lot mona

**monalisa:** not that I don’t think ur cute, like, ur the otp,

**monalisa:** but it’s something JANE AUSTEN said, you know

**monalisa:** it’s just, I’m a huge fan,

**QueenZee:** we got that

**rayofsunshine:** This is another thing we copied from Doctor Who, heh.

**QueenZee:** minus that romance with Clara Oswald

**monalisa:** hnnng yeah

**QueenZee:** but you were right

**QueenZee:** it was the powder

**QueenZee:** we’ve only had what, one date?

**trickstergoddess:** but we’ve definitely got a record of almost-weddings, eh

**trickstergoddess:** first vegas, now this one

**trickstergoddess:** I wonder 👀

**QueenZee:** that one was on you

**notbarryallen:** lol

**notbarryallen:** also what’s goin on ?

**monalisa:** lots of fanfic tropes

**monalisa:** sex pollen,

**monalisa:** bollywood

**notbarryallen:** wut 👀

**Jaxon:** wait rly

**Lancelot:** We met a Hindu god of love

**trickstergoddess:** or a bloke who lived like one, had the hots for zee here

**trickstergoddess:** like, I wouldnt say no to a little fun between the three of us, but she cant say the same and honestly? it was hilarious

**rayofsunshine:** He had this, uh, love dust? Nate, Nora and I were rather… incapacitated for the day.

**monalisa:** SEX PO L L E N

**Lancelot:** You missed all the fun ;)

**darhkling:** did we though

**gayforray: 👉👉**

**notbarryallen:** omg did you have a threesome

**gayforray:** welllllll

**rayofsunshine:** Maybe?

**darhkling:** we did

**smartsnart:** and it took sex pollen? weak

**monalisa: 👁️👁️**

**QueenZee:** not that again

**Jaxon:** i thought there was a funeral

**TimeMom:** That was yesterday.

**Jaxon:** rite

**gayforray:** aaand dad’s fucking ghost showed up

**gayforray:** it’s like, we went and paid respects but can’t you leave us alone??

**Trenchcoat:** Little did the poor sod know we knew about Neron already

**Trenchcoat:** Bloody awesome

**monalisa:** it’ll get better

**monalisa:** at least you went with us,

**grunt:** yeah, how long were you hiding in that hole

**grunt:** a week

**gare-bear:** Six days

**Trenchcoat:** I’m having bloody deja vus here

**Trenchcoat:** I’ll level with you: count it as a miracle I got the fuck up, aight

**Lancelot:** We do

**Lancelot:** We just, we need you for this

**TimeMom:** The whole world does.

**darhkling:** yeah, as you could see, there’s no way I can beat him alone

**darhkling:** I go anywhere near him and I crumble like a pathetic ragdoll

**rayofsunshine:** Don’t beat yourself over that, Nor. It’s a typical response to trauma.

**rayofsunshine:** I would know.

**Lancelot:** Half of us would

**monalisa:** let’s focus on the good things again?

**QueenZee:** you’re right

**Lancelot:** I got that dance on video

**QueenZee:** nooo

**Lancelot:** [ _video attached_ : isurrender.mp4]

**QueenZee:** I’m not afraid to commit murder, Lance

**Lancelot:** 😛

**trickstergoddess:** I think its awesome

**notbarryallen:** ZWRI OMG

**notbarryallen:** you’re _good_

**gayforray:** and she didn’t want to do karaoke

**QueenZee:** cause it’s embarrassing

**rayofsunshine:** I’ll have you know, we sang too!

**darhkling:** don’t bring it up

**Lancelot:** But you were on the ship?

**MamaWaverider:** I took the liberty of broadcasting Miss Tomaz’s comms.

**monalisa:** ooooo

**trickstergoddess:** and what bout you gideon, any sex dreams about hot ais or whoever is it you like

**MamaWaverider:** I will not share such information.

**Lancelot:** So that’s a yes

**grunt:** c’mon

**grunt:** was englishman there

**gayforray:** omG

**monalisa:** who

**monalisa:** johnny?

**gayforray:** Rip was our former captain and wellll this isn’t the first time that happened ;)

**gare-bear:** He founded the Bureau

**monalisa:** yeaaaa I think I’ve seen a portrait somewhere

**MamaWaverider:** If you must know, I did have a dream about Rip…

**rayofsunshine: 👀**

**grunt:** nice

**Lancelot:** KNEW IT

**MamaWaverider:** You’re impossible.

**darhkling:** you damn well knew what you were getting into

**MamaWaverider:** Unfortunately.

**notbarryallen:** lol

**notbarryallen:** you got any more videos

**Lancelot:** No :(

**QueenZee:** :)

**smartsnart:** and what about sara and ava, did you get it on

**Lancelot:** Ofc

**Lancelot:** On pollen or not, I love her very much and always need to appreciate her and her body

**TimeMom:** You’re making me blush at work.

**Lancelot:** Then don’t work and come spend Saturday at home

**TimeMom:** I’d love to, but with the recent… events, there’s more paperwork than usual.

**gayforray:** I feel this on a personal level

**gayforray:** [ _image attached_ : funsatwithbureaucracy.jpeg]

**notbarryallen:** so you’re at work too

**gayforray:** these rich vultures won’t let you have any peace

**Jaxon:** u gotta carry on, man

**gayforray:** thanks

**gayforray:** but the distraction is actually great

**gayforray:** not as great as the other distraction, but

**trickstergoddess:** is that so

**gayforray:** yup

**gayforray:** we’ve seen a lot of unhinged lover Ray lately ;)

**darhkling:** my heart and my pants are on fire just thinking about last night

**monalisa:** adkjkgnkrf

**gayforray:** *whispering* _that was so amazing_

**rayofsunshine:** Yeah, um, yeah…

**rayofsunshine:** Yeah.

**darhkling:** my, you have so much muscle and power but at the same time you’re this loveable romantic goofball and ugh

**darhkling:** nate is twice as much of both

**darhkling:** I’m so in love with you

**gayforray:** daww we love you too

**gayforray:** and Ray

**gayforray:** and everyone

**rayofsunshine:** ❤️❤️

**Lancelot:** Remember when someone changed the chat name to “everyone is in love with ray”

**notbarryallen:** and “ray is in love with everyone” lol

**Lancelot:** I kinda feel that

**QueenZee:** platonically? sure

**monalisa:** I love all of you

**monalisa:** dopest family ever

**gare-bear:** Gayest

**gayforray:** craziest

**darhkling:** nosiest

**notbarryallen:** chillest

**QueenZee:** laziest…

**Lancelot:** Yeah, ok, that’s not nice

**rayofsunshine:** But true, sometimes.

**rayofsunshine:** Let’s go watch some Bollywood hits!


	135. it's st patty's day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's saint patrick's day, and we have some (a lot of) guests!!!
> 
> enjoy!

**2019/03/17**

**rayofsunshine:** So today is St. Patrick’s Day, and on St. Patrick’s Day, wear green we must! 🍀

 **grunt:** fuck that

 **grunt:** I want green whiskey

 **Lancelot:** Hey I’m not asking for me but what would happen if we don’t wear green

 **rayofsunshine:** Well, apart from the customary pinch, you must do all the chores regardless of whose turn it is.

 **gayforray:** better just roll with it

 **monalisa:** feel free to wear all red

 **gayforray:** dishes?

 **monalisa:** yea

 **monalisa:** hey @Trenchcoat, have you ever met a leprechaun

 **Trenchcoat:** I have

 **Trenchcoat:** Goes by the name Mad Sweeney, a right bastard

 **monalisa:** so he’s not a cute ginger gnome guy with a beard guarding his treasure

 **Trenchcoat:** No, love, they look like us

 **monalisa:** hmmm ok

 **QueenZee:** [ _image attached_ : greenzee.jpeg]

 **rayofsunshine:** 👍

 **QueenZee:** also

 **QueenZee:** [ _image attached_ : greencharlie.jpeg]

 **grunt:** she has green whiskey

 **grunt:** coming to your room

 **trickstergoddess:** ill take it to the kitchen

 **Lancelot:** So you’re spending nights now 👀

 **QueenZee:** Charlie kinda dozed off in my bed and I let her ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **notbarryallen:** nice developMENT

 **darhkling:** I think we should make some roommate changes

 **gayforray:** so you wanna stick Charlie with Z and come live with… us?

 **darhkling:** I meant that charlie and I should switch but ok that works too

 **rayofsunshine:** Not that I’m against it, but isn’t our room too small for three people?

 **gayforray:** so you’re against it

 **rayofsunshine:** I’m merely concerned with logistics!

 **trickstergoddess:** or zee could just move into my room

 **Lancelot:** Mona pretty much lives with John anyway, so he room is free too

 **monalisa:** excuse me??

 **Lancelot:** It’s true

 **grunt:** yeah

 **QueenZee:** how about we give everyone a room and be happy

 **gayforray:** ok but Ray and I are staying together

 **Trenchcoat:** Everyone _does_ have their own room

 **QueenZee:** Nora and I don’t

 **darhkling:** zee and I don’t and it’s becoming inconvenient

 **monalisa:** synced

 **darhkling:** lol

 **Lancelot:** You were always future gal pals

 **darhkling:** okay, just forget it

 **gayforray:** no, we can talk about this!

 **gayforray:** in person

 **gayforray:** kitchen in 5

 **rayofsunshine:** And do wear something green.

 **gayforray:** don’t try his ocd, ok

 **rayofsunshine:** <3

 **gare-bear:** Do we even know anyone Irish

 **Lancelot:** Lena? Luthor??

 **Trenchcoat:** Besides the leprechaun, I know this vampire bloke Cassidy

 **Lancelot:** And Lena says that there was this girl Siobhan Smythe who worked at CatCo

 **gare-bear:** Yeah ok

 **monalisa:** you don’t have to be irish to celebrate it tho

 **gayforray:** hey maybe we could hit one of those parades

 **gayforray:** in NYC

 **gayforray:** big pride parade rehearsal™

 **rayofsunshine:** I like that idea!

 **darhkling:** seriously, forget the roommates thing, we should head out and drink

 **Trenchcoat:** I like your spirit

 **darhkling:** right

 **trickstergoddess:** ive got a better idea

* * *

 

**let’s save the world & party**

**trickstergoddess:** yo its st patricks day and we wanna head out to a parade

 **trickstergoddess:** wanna come with

 **gayforray:** this is a better idea???

 **Lancelot:** No but it is

 **dramaqueen:** We do this quite often

 **goodvibes:** tru

 **goodvibes:** but no I like that

 **smoakandmirrors:** ollie’s been wearing green since 7 am

 **sunshinegirl:** ollie’s been wearing green his whole life

 **jasontoad:** he literally green arrow

 **rayofsunshine:** That’s great 🍀

 **fatherofdragons:** green is my favourite colour too

 **garfieldthecat:** woah

 **garfieldthecat:** the us

 **fatherofdragons:** it there something wrong with my spelling

 **hotwing:** lol didn’t the accent give it away

 **bibillionaire:** black may be my favourite but today I wear green

 **bibillionaire:** see @ my instagram

 **smoakandmirrors:** already did

 **inkedandgay:** same

 **sciencebitch:** saint patrick’s day!!!

 **sciencebitch:** time to honour my roots

 **Lancelot:** Put on a green batsuit @bibillionaire

 **jasontoad:** I said the SMAE THING

 **bibillionaire:** no

 **bearyallen:** I like that idea

 **gayforray:** the batsuit or the parade

 **bearyallen:** both?

 **pear:** three ppl I didn’t expect it from just used british spelling, ok

 **irisbest:** and you call urself a detective

 **fatherofdragons:** well, I am a master of accents

 **babs:** true that

 **trickstergoddess:** so what about the parade

 **trickstergoddess:** we were thinking new york

 **sunshinegirl:** we’re actually going on our own parade but you go ahead!!

 **dramaqueen:** The New York one was yesterday

 **irisbest:** they’re time travelers

 **dramaqueen:** Right

 **inkedandgay:** there’s a big one in metropolis today

 **hotwing:** also chicago

 **jasontoad:** but if you wanna see a green river there’s a chance of that in gotham too

 **futurerobin:** lol

 **bibillionaire:** don’t remind me of 2002

 **awesomestCSI:** vegas also holds a parade

 **QueenZee:** no it’s too soon for Vegas

 **awesomestCSI:** aaaa gotcha girl

 **trickstergoddess:** what, you dont wanna have a third almost-wedding

 **QueenZee:** no, thank you

 **smoakandmirrors:** third???

 **sunshinegirl:** it happened in regency england

 **smoakandmirrors:** DAMN I should’ve gone to barry’s yesterday

 **darhkling:** we shared ALL the stories 😉

 **bibillionaire:** so I guess Metropolis it is?

 **Lancelot:** 👍

 **bearyallen:**  👍

 **dramaqueen:** 👍

 **awesomestCSI:** 👍

 **rainbowsandthunder:** 👍

 **sunshinegirl:** that’s where we’re going too lmao

 

* * *

 

**Team Trash Humans**

**gayforray:** [ _image attached_ : everywhereisgreen.jpeg]

 **gayforray:** [ _image attached_ : legendsandintruder.jpeg]

 **monalisa:** INTRUDER

 **Lancelot:** Felicity omg 😂

 **notbarryallen:** do you have moar

 **Lancelot:** Check out the gram

 **notadick:** do I have to remind you we have no wifi in tibet

 **Lancelot:** Oops I forgot

 **gayforray:** [ _image attached_ : lenainhernaturalhabitat.jpeg]

 **gayforray:** [ _image attached_ : wechugthatgreenbeer.jpeg]

 **gayforray:** [ _image attached_ : isbrucesmiling.jpeg]

 **gayforray:** [ _image attached_ : greenbeans.jpeg]

 **gayforray:** [ _image attached_ : legendsfamily.jpeg]

 **monalisa:** these are great

 **QueenZee:** Oliver on that fourth one

 **notbarryallen:** GREEN BEANS

 **darhkling:** thank u charlie

 **gayforray:** is was a butter ides

 **gayforray:** better

 **trickstergoddess:** yeah sometines I do acually havegood ideas, eh

 **notadick:** who got drunk

 **gare-bear:**  My world is smimming a bit

 **notadick:** smimming

 **gare-bear:** *swimming

 **Lancelot:** Some of us had that tullamore…

 **notbarryallen:** I can see lol

 **TimeMom:** I’m fine!

 **rayofsunshine:** Hey John, do you think some Irish creatures might’ve been there?

 **Trenchcoat:** Metropolis? I don’t think so

 **monalisa:** shame

 **rayofsunshine:** Yeah.

 **darhkling:** did u actyally want to meet some

 **monalisa:** ig?

 **monalisa:** it’s st patty’s day

 **notbarryallen:** “st. patty’s day” omg

 **monalisa:** lamsknfkf autocorrect

 **gare-bear:** Anyone else imagine a green burger with a green patty and green cheese and green everything

 **darhkling:** I’m just thinking how hilarious that is cuz your name’s green

 **Lancelot:** Aves

 **Lancelot:** [ _image attached_ : beermustache.jpeg]

 **Lancelot:** You’re so beautiful  <3

 **Lancelot:** I’m so lucky to have you as my girlfriend, like, ugh really

 **TimeMom:** Sara why??

 **TimeMom:** But so are you  <3

 **TimeMom:** And I love you so much

 **Lancelot:** Aww I love you more

 **notbarryallen:** here we have sentimental sara and wrong punctuation ava

 **notbarryallen:** they must’ve had lots of that tullamore

 **Lancelot:** Yeah it was Great

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can't believe it took me 135 + 42 chapters to do a lil crossover, lol. did you spot it 👀
> 
> also, for those of you who don't read the other fic and the names got confusing: 
> 
> jasontoad = jason todd  
> fatherofdragons = damian wayne  
> garfieldthecat = garfield logan  
> hotwing = dick grayson  
> inkedandgay = kate kane  
> sciencebitch = lena luthor  
> pear = ralph dibny  
> irisbest = iris west-allen  
> babs = barbara gordon  
> futurerobin = tim drake  
> awesomestCSI = ella lopez  
> rainbowsandthunder = anissa pierce


	136. we're horny on main

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy easter, if you celebrate it! (i don't)
> 
> yesterday i made a legends playlist on spotify cos i kept writing down songs in memo app and always told myself i'd put them together one day—so, [listen!](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5ENEy7DPJPrSkf9SWzG5E3)
> 
> and enjoy!

**2019/03/20**

**gayforray:** never let Charlie talk me into smoking pot before bed

**Lancelot:** Noted

**trickstergoddess:** aw dont tell me you didnt enjoy that

**gayforray:** I did

**gayforray:** but I had REALLY weird dreams

**darhkling:** at one point he thought I was a pizza delivery girl and kept yelling at me for putting bananas on his pizza when he wanted beef

**rayofsunshine:** When was that? I must’ve been asleep.

**darhkling:** bless your soul

**gayforray:** it’s not that

**gayforray:** it’s that I thought it was real

**gayforray:** like, I have no idea what were dreams and what were thoughts and what was real and

**gayforray:** I’m pretty sure I tried to eat a pillow but idk

**Lancelot:** You think it was pizza?

**darhkling:** possibly

**QueenZee:** wow

**trickstergoddess:** when youre not used to it

**notbarryallen:** yo does that mean you changed the sleeping arrangements after all

**darhkling:** not exactly

**monalisa:** ooOoO

**rayofsunshine:** We had a movie night!

**trickstergoddess:** with a little twist

**grunt:** and beer

**Lancelot:** Well, I woke up next to my beautiful woman

**Lancelot:** About half an hour ago

**darhkling:** lol it’s 11:54

**TimeMom:** Once a night owl always a night owl, right, babe?

**Lancelot:** That

**Lancelot:** And I might’ve had some similarly wild dreams involving a hot tub

**trickstergoddess:** and a certain devil?

**QueenZee:** yeah, Kara sent it to us

**TimeMom:** Um, what?

**Lancelot:** 😅

**trickstergoddess:** oh, she didnt show you, how devious

**darhkling:** c’mon ladies, let’s not tease her

**gayforray:** what’s this about 👀

**rayofsunshine:** [ _image attached_ : screenshot.png]

**gayforray:** oH

**Lancelot:** How did you get that

**rayofsunshine:** Felicity.

**darhkling:** right

**notadick:** is that lucifer

**QueenZee:** yup

**trickstergoddess:** inspires not one sexuality crisis, dont it

**Lancelot:** Our Dick had a similar reaction 😉

**notadick:** um

**notbarryallen:** can’t blame him

**TimeMom:** But you didn’t do anything, right, Sara?

**Lancelot:** Aves…!

**Lancelot:** Who do you think I am

**Lancelot:** My subconscious might like that but my conscious mind loves you more than anything

**darhkling:** but I heard something about bruce and selina

**Lancelot:** Oh yeah

**notbarryallen:** both of them

**trickstergoddess:** pretty much

**trickstergoddess:** I like those people

**QueenZee:** first we’re hooked on sex pollen and now this

**QueenZee:** what’s next, that sense8 orgy

**grunt:** maybe

**monalisa:** we’re horny on main

**gayforray:** oh I just remembered

**gayforray:** did I try and do something when I was “asleep”

**darhkling:** well

**gayforray:** oh shoot I did, didn’t I

**rayofsunshine:** Again, I don’t know about anything…

**darhkling:** you wouldn’t, I was sandwiched between you

**monalisa:** my favorite position

**monalisa:** for SLEEPING

**notbarryallen:** lmao you knew

**monalisa:** I’ve learned enough

**trickstergoddess:** where is john again anyway

**monalisa:** he’s, well, broody

**monalisa:** [ _image attached_ : staringatthattoast.jpeg]

**TimeMom:** He’s found out about the video, hasn’t he.

**gayforray:** you mean

**TimeMom:** Theme park, yes.

**monalisa:** yeah

**gayforray:** idk what dad was thinking

**gayforray:** torturing all the creatures for a fucking theme park that would inevitably end up a full jurassic park nightmare just bc of a drawing I did as a kid

**gayforray:** not to mention people freaking out if they found out

**Lancelot:** As if we didn’t have enough horror movies

**notbarryallen:** u saying what I think you’re saying

**monalisa:** hank had this vision

**notbarryallen:** right

**QueenZee:** yeah, that’s not happening in the future, so

**Trenchcoat:** Thank bloody god

**rayofsunshine:** Are you all right?

**Trenchcoat:** Yeah, sure, nothing some food, beer and good shag can’t fix

**Trenchcoat:** Maybe a scented candle

**notadick:** using humor to mask depression, a classic move

**Trenchcoat:** Depression? Don’t know her

**Lancelot:** Mona showed you memes

**monalisa:** and I’m not the least bit ashamed

**gare-bear:** It was a collective effort

**rayofsunshine:** Well, it looks like there’s no imminent demon attack, so just chill! Give yourself time! You deserve it!

**Trenchcoat:** Will you do my dishes

**rayofsunshine:** Sure! Mental health is important.

**QueenZee:** you haven’t seen the dishes

**QueenZee:** we had baklava and caramel pancakes

**notbarryallen:** living the life of kings I see

**darhkling:** before the execution

**rayofsunshine:** Don’t say that!

**darhkling:** ray, have you ever heard of dark humor

**Lancelot:** 😂

**notadick:** lol

**rayofsunshine:** Got me…

**Trenchcoat:** And I’ve got sodding toast

**gayforray:** your choice

**gayforray:** do you think banana pizza would be good

**QueenZee:** still thinking about high dreams I see

**gayforray:** …

**QueenZee:** and no it would be fucking gross

**QueenZee:** have some common sense, Nate

**notbarryallen:** what do you know ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**notbarryallen:** the locals here eat all sorts of weird things that are surprisingly good

**notadick:** edible, anyway

**QueenZee:** ok but banana pizza

**Lancelot:** Who likes pineapple pizza

**rayofsunshine:** I do!

**Lancelot:** Then your ass is dead

**darhkling:** that’s a thing?

**QueenZee:** ???

**rayofsunshine:** It’s not in the future?

**darhkling:** no, we have brains

**gayforray:** for food?

**darhkling:** nate smh

**QueenZee:** we’re not zombies

**grunt:** I hate zombies

**grunt:** can we kill some

**TimeMom:** There aren’t any zombies to kill, Mick.

**Lancelot:** We’ve met those and it wasn’t nice

**Jaxon:** yeah i remember

**gayforray:** lurker

**Jaxon:** always

**MamaWaverider:** Actually, there are reports of a citywide zombie outbreak in Seattle on Earth-5.

**QueenZee:** thankfully it’s earth-5

**Jaxon:** also i love pineapple on pizza

**Jaxon:** fight me

**Lancelot:** I will

**Trenchcoat:** Such atrocity

**darhkling:** something we can all agree on

**gayforray:** except our Ray

**rayofsunshine:** Come on, it’s not so bad!

**rayofsunshine:** Duck a l’orange isn’t bad either!

**notbarryallen:** hey mick

**grunt:** I’ll eat anything, I don’t care

**QueenZee:** mood

**QueenZee:** except pork

**darhkling:** and meat in general

**monalisa:** hell yes

**trickstergoddess:** 21st century is weird

**darhkling:** you mean the first 20 years

**QueenZee:** lbr, 25

**QueenZee:** then it went to hell

**darhkling:** still don’t know much beyond that cult that raised me

**grunt:** how sad

**rayofsunshine:** We should start a group for vegetarians and share recipes.

**gayforray:** last time I checked you’re not vegetarian, babe

**rayofsunshine:** No, but I know a lot of recipes.

**darhkling:** I bet damian would be thrilled

**Lancelot:** I can’t tell if that’s sarcasm or not

**darhkling:** choose your own adventure

**monalisa:** no but there’s a lot of us, actually

**grunt:** how can someone not eat meat

**darhkling:** easily

**monalisa:** do you know how much animals suffer? how much the meat industry ruins our planet? how unhealthy meat actually is?

**monalisa:** you can get proteins from other stuff, REBECCA

**Lancelot:** Like, I like meat, but I get that

**Lancelot:** It’s everyone’s choice

**QueenZee:** as is everything else you do with your body

**grunt:** whatever

**grunt:** I love steak

**gayforray:** wouldn’t be you, Mick

**rayofsunshine:** Well, if anything, our meat is artificially prepared by Gideon here, so we don’t kill any animals for that steak, but it still tastes the same. I love future tech.

**monalisa:** I see your point too on this one

**monalisa:** but it just tastes gross if you ask me, so no thanks

**darhkling:** that

**darhkling:** and I’m surprised he didn’t create the group yet

**rayofsunshine:** I can still do it!

**monalisa:** don’t tho

**rayofsunshine:** :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm a vegetarian too and jsyk, the chat would include superman, wonder woman, raven, beast boy, zatanna, damian, j'onn j'onzz, mona, and my personal headcanon nora


	137. fight your demons!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this episode this episoDE THIS EPISODE— THEY'RE ALL QUEER AND THEY KNOW QUEER EYE AND— WOW. AVALANCE!!!!!!!!!
> 
> i wrote two chapters about it in the span of like 3 hours. yeah. i didn't have to change almost anything lmao canon is playing into my hands!!!
> 
> enjoy!

**2019/03/22**

**gayforray:** you know how two days ago we talked about the theme park and how it’s a terrible idea and how it was never built

**QueenZee:** we were wrong

**QueenZee:** I know

**Lancelot:** Wait, what

**gayforray:** yeah Ray and I found out about the construction site

**gayforray:** they’re already building it

**QueenZee:** and they’ll finish

**QueenZee:** I have different memories now than I did yesterday

**rayofsunshine:** All like in that Doctor Who Christmas Carol episode!

**QueenZee:** it’s not nice

**QueenZee:** apparently I visited it with my parents and Behrad when I was like 12 and it’s making me sad now

**monalisa:** is this like allowed

**monalisa:** rewriting timelines like this

**Lancelot:** Remembers Flashpoint

**Trenchcoat:** Oh, this is brilliant

**gayforray:** I mean I can stop this but since it’s already been changed

**rayofsunshine:** That might be a bad idea.

**gayforray:** yeah

**gayforray:** so uh what’s up with y’all today

**Lancelot:** We celebrated Kate’s birthday yesterday

**Lancelot:** So I’m hungover, again,

**Lancelot:** Woke up after Ava was already gone

**gare-bear:** But Ava isn’t at work?

**Lancelot:** Wait what

**Lancelot:** Are you sure

**darhkling:** are you thinking what I’m thinking

**Trenchcoat:** Bloody Neron, making his next move

**Trenchcoat:** Of course he is

**Trenchcoat:** He tried to kill us, then he killed Hank, now he’s after Ava

**Trenchcoat:** And I have a feeling he’s gonna go after Nate next

**Lancelot:** Shit shit shit SHIT FUCK

**Lancelot:** NOT IN MY HOUSE

**gare-bear:** We can find her

 

* * *

 

**The Inner Circle**

**gare-bear:** Curtis

**gare-bear:** Ava’s missing and we need to find her

**holt-the-door:** shit ok

**holt-the-door:** can’t find her anywhere??? weird

**gayforray:** archer

**gayforray:** use it

 

* * *

 

**Smoak Tech Duo**

felicity I need a favor

go on

ava’s missing

and it would be a great time to  
test archer again

on fucking it!!!!!!

found her

I’ll send the coordinates on the  
waverider

woah that was fast

i… might’ve asked gideon about  
dna samples

good thing I did

 

* * *

 

**Team Trash Humans**

**QueenZee:** did you do that, Gary

**gare-bear:** I asked Curtis who asked Felicity

**Trenchcoat:** I bloody love you

**Trenchcoat:** Let’s find Ava

**darhkling:** I’m coming with you

**rayofsunshine:** Are you sure you’re up for it, Nor?

**darhkling:** yeah

**darhkling:** I need to face my biggest fears, right?

**darhkling:** this demon is gonna be so dead

**QueenZee:** ok, guess we’ll stay here and watch for bones alerts

**trickstergoddess:** and snog

**QueenZee:** of course

**monalisa:** noice 😍

**darhkling:** [ _video attached_ : womantheship.mp4]

**gayforray:** 💪

**Jaxon:** already posted as a story i see

**Lancelot:** Okay bitches, we got this

**Lancelot:** Ava’s in the medbay, no demons in sight

**darhkling:** but I felt the energy, it was

**darhkling:** she’s unconscious

**Trenchcoat:** He was trying to go all Supernatural on her

**Trenchcoat:** Bastard

**rayofsunshine:** Come to think of it, Desmond/Neron sort of looks like the guy who was possessed by Michael on the last season.

**monalisa:** you’re right, it’s weird 👀

**Lancelot:** Okay but let’s focus on the important things here for a bit

**gayforray:** like the fact this park REALLY looks like the Jurassic Park

**gayforray:** I’m kidding, how’s Ava

**gare-bear:** I need to know

**gare-bear:** I can’t lose another boss, I’d be lost without her

**darhkling:** it gets more supernatural

**darhkling:** her soul is trapped in purgatory

**monalisa:** greAT

**Lancelot:** I’m gonna go and pull her out cause I WILL NOT LET ANOTHER PERSON I LOVE DIE. EVER

**gayforray:** as if this week couldn’t get weirder

**QueenZee:** right after we started to think everything was going to get better

**monalisa:** the last episode was the calm before the storm ig

**darhkling:** “episode”

**monalisa:** you know

**Lancelot:** I know you’re trying to make me laugh and it sorta works but

**Lancelot:** I’m going in and you better FIND the motherfucker who did this

**darhkling:** SO. DEAD.

**darhkling:** ☠️

 

* * *

 

**Smoak Tech Duo**

how’s it going, did they find her

idk I’ll ask

yeah

but it got complicated?

I’ll keep u updated

thanks

no one’s dying on my watch

ofc, overwatch

 

* * *

 

**Team Trash Humans**

**gayforray:** ok we’re done here

**gayforray:** we’re coming back to the bureau in case Neron shows up here

**darhkling:** be safe, ok

**rayofsunshine:** You guys too  <3

**darhkling:** well, nothing’s going on right now

**darhkling:** which is actually worse

**QueenZee:** tell me about it

**QueenZee:** I’ve been stress eating for hours

**monalisa:** it’s been 20 mins but ok

**QueenZee:** you’re literally sitting next to me

**monalisa:** it’s for the others

**Jaxon:** thx but i dont think we care

**trickstergoddess:** and its the same case here

**monalisa:** [ _image attached_ : theyreinherlap.jpeg]

**monalisa:** for the others

**gayforray:** there’s more development??? noice

**QueenZee:** shut up, Nate

**notbarryallen:** I’ve just opened this and THIS IS A FUCKING RODEO

**gayforray:** which part

**notbarryallen:** all of it?!

**notbarryallen:** is ava back yet???

**Trenchcoat:** No, not yet

**rayofsunshine:** This is bad. I feel like I should be there.

**Trenchcoat:** But in the meantime, I did another locator spell and found our demon

**Trenchcoat:** He’s looking for Ava at the motel

**trickstergoddess:** well I guess thats my cue

**gayforray:** can the bureau cell hold him

**Trenchcoat:** It should

**gayforray:** ok bring him here

**gayforray:** I want to have a chat with him before he dies

**QueenZee:** but that’s dangerous, Nate

**QueenZee:** he could, idk, manipulate you

**rayofsunshine:** Not when there’s the four of us.

**monalisa:** I’ll get the cell ready so I feel useful

**rayofsunshine:** Thanks.

**darhkling:** we got him

**darhkling:** TEAM WE GOT HIM

**darhkling:** I almost didn’t believe in that

**notbarryallen:** you’re the legends, you can do anything

**trickstergoddess:** thats right, we can

**monalisa:** small victories!!!!

**Trenchcoat:** But fuck, that face

**Trenchcoat:** I didn’t think it would hurt so much but it does

**gare-bear:** It’s gonna be all right, John. Seeing your old love always hurts, let alone possessed by a demon, but we’re here for you  <3

**notadick:** fight your demons!

**monalisa:** asdghfjgkk,m

**monalisa:** yeah

**gayforray:** ok let’s do this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the guy who plays desmond did indeed play evil apocalypse-earth archangel michael in supernatural, jsyk. once possessed by an angel, once by a demon... and courtney ford played a woman who had a nephilim son with lucifer on that show, while we're at it... in case you didn't know...
> 
> and yeah this CONTINUES OK


	138. move the story along

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> early update cos i'm going out again! wow, i've been having a wild life lately, lmao. tomorrow i'm seeing endgame...
> 
> enjoy!

**The Inner Circle  
2019/03/22**

**holt-the-door:** uh guys

**holt-the-door:** are you SURE the cell can hold him cause it’s looking pretty dangerous and I do NOT want a demon roaming around the bureau and like, possessing me

**gayforray:** you watching the cctv?

**holt-the-door:** how could I NOT

**gayforray:** it should be safe, John drew this devil’s trap kinda thing and my girl Nora is pretending to be on his side to draw him out

**holt-the-door:** omg, an exorcism? like on the show?

**gayforray:** oh oh oh here we go

**gayforray:** it even looks like black smoke, wow

**holt-the-door:** damn, this shit is scary

**monalisa:** I wanna see

**monalisa:** no wait I don’t

**monalisa:** is he gone yet

**gayforray:** are Avalance back yet

**monalisa:** no

**gare-bear:** I’m watching over them

**holt-the-door:** creepy, everything’s so creepy

**gayforray:** it’s happening

**holt-the-door:** wow I’ve never seen nora’s magic before

**gayforray:** wait there’s ray-ray

**gayforray:** what’s he doing he’ll ruin it MY STUPID IDIOT NORA’S FINE

**monalisa:** wut

**monalisa:** wut did he do

**holt-the-door:** nora was knocked unconscious and he ran in after her

**gayforray:** thankfully she already killed neron otherwise idk what might happen

**gare-bear:** ok but do you know what that means

**gare-bear:** NERON IS KAPUT

**gare-bear:** AND AVALANCE ARE BACK

**gayforray:** THEY ARE?????

**monalisa:** HE’S DEAD AND THEY’RE BACK IT MAKES SENSE

**TimeMom:** The bastard’s dead?

**TimeMom:** Did you just liveblog Neron’s death?

**holt-the-door:** welcome back, boss

**holt-the-door:** and thank felicity for finding you, ok, she’s been worried sick

**TimeMom:** I will.

**monalisa:** what did it look like over there? purgatory? did it look like a dark forest?

**TimeMom:** Just go to the other chat, Mona.

 

* * *

 

**TimeMom** _to_ **smoakandmirrors**

**TimeMom:** I heard you helped find me. Thank you for saving my life.

**smoakandmirrors:** don’t thank me ANYONE WOULD DO THAT FOR A GAL PAL

**smoakandmirrors:** but i’m just glad archer works like wow, I invented something

**TimeMom:** It’s amazing, Felicity.

**TimeMom:** Now excuse me while I go make out with my girlfriend and tell everyone about how we had to assemble an Ikea cabinet in purgatory 🙂

**smoakandmirrors:** wait wHAT

**smoakandmirrors:** ava don’t leave me

**smoakandmirrors:** I need deeeeetailsssss

 

* * *

 

**Team Trash Humans**

**notbarryallen:** so what happened

**notadick:** this suspense is hell

**gayforray:** HE DEAD

**notbarryallen:** he dead?

**gayforray:** HE DED

**Lancelot:** And we slept through this whole thing

**Lancelot:** I really wanted to look him in the face, at least once

**Jaxon:** ur back!

**TimeMom:** We’re back! Exhausted, though.

**notbarryallen:** ok ur on bedrest so you can tell us everything 👀

**QueenZee:** we’re about to have the conversation irl here

**Jaxon:** for us?

**smartsnart:** this sounds wild, I want to hear

**Lancelot:** Ok then

**TimeMom:** Some of them are at the Bureau so I was gonna do it anyway.

**Lancelot:** So eager to talk about it, huh

**TimeMom:** It wasn’t all that bad. We revisited some old conversation topics…

**gayforray:** ok but before you start

**gayforray:** you didn’t know this but when Nora killed Neron, the shock wave of energy knocked her out and she’s still unconscious so we need a spot in medbay

**trickstergoddess:** you shouldve led with that you plonker

**monalisa:** ON IT

**Lancelot:** Shit

**Lancelot:** Not again

**TimeMom:** Is everyone else all right?

**gayforray:** yeah

**gayforray:** Ray’s carrying her

**QueenZee:** just when we thought we had a clear win

**Trenchcoat:** Nothing’s this easy, love

**QueenZee:** are YOU all right

**Trenchcoat:** I am, but Des isn’t

**notbarryallen:** he’s alive?

**Trenchcoat:** But I can’t exactly blame him, I deserve everything I got for doing what I’d done

**Trenchcoat:** Yeah, we got Neron out of his body

**monalisa:** come here, johnny, we have food, alcohol and hot tub cuddles?

**Lancelot:** I thought we’d have it for the day but you clearly need it more

**Trenchcoat:** How’s Nora

**rayofsunshine:** Stabilized but nonresponsive

**smartsnart:** are YOU all right

**smartsnart:** she’s your girlfriend after all

**rayofsunshine:** Yeah, yeah she is

**notbarryallen:** what happened to your perfect punctuation lmao

**rayofsunshine:** I’m just distressed right now, you know?

**gayforray:** cut him some slack

**gayforray:** we’ve all been through a lot

**Jaxon:** so about avalance

**Lancelot:** Having a real life ship name is still weird

**notadick:** good answer

**TimeMom:** So, it looked like this giant space Ikea over there…

**monalisa:** so not a forest?

**TimeMom:** Why would it look like a forest?

**monalisa:** that was on-

**monalisa:** nvm

**Trenchcoat:** Like I said, your purgatory looks like your biggest nightmare

**notbarryallen:** so ava’s nightmare is a space ikea???

**Lancelot:** Apparently

**Lancelot:** Gary was there too

**gare-bear:** I was?

**gare-bear:** Wow

**QueenZee:** you’re pleased about that

**gare-bear:** She acknowledges my existence

**TimeMom:** Of course I do, Gary. It would be hard not to.

**TimeMom:** BECAUSE you’re one of my best agents!

**rayofsunshine:** And what happened in that space ikea?

**gayforray:** ok even I noticed it now

**rayofsunshine:** *IKEA

**rayofsunshine:** My girlfriend almost died!

**gayforray:** almost being the key word tho, babe  <3

**gayforray:** but ik you’re gonna want to stay here all night anyway so how about I bring a laptop and we can watch some movies and watch over her?

**rayofsunshine:** That sounds good.

**gayforray:** great!!! ily

**trickstergoddess:** cute

**trickstergoddess:** move the story along

**Lancelot:** Charlie…

**Lancelot:** So we needed to get to the entrance to get out, right, and there were these challenges we needed to get through to pass, it was like a weird video game analyzing our relationship

**Lancelot:** Lots of metaphors come to life

**QueenZee:** it was about you two?

**TimeMom:** Basically. It wasn’t pleasant, oh, we fought, but we got through it together.

**Lancelot:** Cause we love each other so much, right babe

**TimeMom: ❤️**

**Lancelot:** But yeah I had to do dishes and it was awful

**monalisa:** dishes?? lol

**gayforray:** who does them at home

**TimeMom:** I do, most times.

**Lancelot:** But I water the plants

**TimeMom:** We have two plants and a succulent, Sara.

**Lancelot:** Still counts 👉👉

**gayforray:** is this gonna be us when we find a place @rayofsunshine

**rayofsunshine:** No, we’ll both wash the dishes.

**gayforray:** and Nora will water the plants, ofc she will

**gayforray:** but no you two will cook for us

**gayforray:** and Nora and I can… idk, do something you can’t do which I’m not sure exists

**monalisa:** so you have plans? all together?

**notbarryallen:** 👀

**QueenZee:** 👀

**Lancelot:** 👀

**Jaxon:**  👀

**trickstergoddess:** youll ever leave the legends?

**gayforray:** I mean, someday, probably?

**gayforray:** we talked about it the other day

**rayofsunshine:** That we did!

**Jaxon:** ok but how many times did the legends try to disband

**Lancelot:** Three? Four? Idk

**Jaxon:** and howd that work out

**grunt:** didn’t

**Jaxon:** yeah

**TimeMom:** Well, it was less about the dishes and more about my anxiety and obsession with cleaning…

**Lancelot:** It was the hardest part

**Lancelot:** But we also had to assemble a closet and choose a mattress

**TimeMom:** Which was a metaphor for marriage.

**TimeMom:** Not that we’re getting married. Living together is enough for now.

**QueenZee:** how many times has this been brought up now?

**gare-bear:** Three?

**gayforray:** for someone who’s not getting married you’re sure thinking about it lot

**notbarryallen:** remember the time at pride when you were on pot and were like, want to dance, ava lance

**monalisa:** I didn’t know that,

**Lancelot:** Did you HAVE TO bring it up again

**notbarryallen:** you’re the moms to us anyway ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**trickstergoddess:** wanna bet on how long itll take for one of them to pop the question

**grunt:** four months

**QueenZee:** I say three

**monalisa:** two

**smartsnart:** eight

**Jaxon:** a year

**Lancelot:** Guys!!! Do you want to be grounded

**gayforray:** we’re adults you can’t do that 👉👉

**gayforray:** and I say 3 months

**QueenZee:** 🖐️

**gayforray:** 🖐️

**rayofsunshine:** One month.

**MamaWaverider:** Six months.

**TimeMom:** GIDEON, ET TU?

**gayforray:** noice

**gayforray:** also, we should stop doing drugs

**Jaxon:** it was just pot

**trickstergoddess:** I bet youve never even tried anything else

**QueenZee:** have you

**trickstergoddess:** oh yeah

**Trenchcoat:** So have I

**grunt:** same

**trickstergoddess:** the seventies were proper wild and rowdy

**gayforray:** I had that African root with Amaya that one time

**QueenZee:** two times, actually

**gayforray:** right, when we made that big beebo! how could I forget

**Lancelot:** Also unicorn glitter

**gayforray:** yeah, we should stop doing drugs


	139. [special chapter] possessed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> inspired by [this post](https://kendrasaunders.tumblr.com/post/184392189494/neron-this-guy-hell-be-interesting-takes-one)
> 
> this is a _special chapter_ , so it doesn't really fit into the "canon" of this fic, but i couldn't resist—and i had SO much fun writing this. it's utter, pure, 100% crack, and i regret NOTHING. so consider yourselves warned, and enjoy!!!

BRIGHT SUMMER DAY.

That was the only way to describe it, capital letters and all. Every. Corner. Of. His. Mind.

It was like… like a garden party! Hamilton lyrics playing on the radio, all his _friends_ lying about on loungers or whatever those things were called, a swimming pool with bright blue water—and he was _sure_ there was, somehow, a _rainbow_ somewhere. Without a bit of _rain_.

And his thoughts—a constant annoying stream of _babbling_ about incoherent nonsense such as _science_ , _gluten-free food_ , so, so many _movies_ , and least but not last, _dogs_. If they were at least hellhounds! Dark! Scary! Red eyes!

 _No_. Tiny, yapping _half-breeds_ with hearts on their collars. And there were _so many_.

But let’s get back to the music. _Hamilton._ He was sure he knew _all_ of the songs by heart by now. If demons _had_ a heart.

_In New York, you can be a new man! Just you wait!_

He would go to New York right about now just to get that to shut up.

 

* * *

 

**Give me a different song then. We rewatched Hamilton with Nate two days ago and it’s been in my head since. I can’t get rid of it. It’s awful. But at the same time it’s not—**

 

Shut up. Shut. Up.

 

**I can’t exactly _not_ think of anything, now can I? That’s impossible. Try it.**

 

Maybe when you’re dead.

 

**Then you would have no vessel! Ha! You’d die too! Which is kind of exactly what we want, so—**

I thought you’d be an interesting body to possess, a tech genius, might have knowledge to exploit. Use against the Legends and the Bureau. But no. You’re the _weirdest_ , most _idiotic_ , most _optimistic_ human of all the humans and I can’t get you to shut up! You did this on purpose!

 

**Why, of course I did, I couldn’t let you kill Nora. Or anyone else. So I volunteered, knowing you won’t send my soul to Purgatory that way and hoping I could maybe convince you that the world is okay the way it is—**

Okay? _Okay?_ Do you know how great it could look under my rule? How _majestic_? Full of _dark creatures_ —

 

**Oh, you mean like unicorns? Dragons? There’s this little kid, a tiny ball of cute rage if you ask me, the Demon’s Heir—**

The what?

 

**Demon’s Heir. League of Assassins. His name is Damian and he keeps two dragons in his house. They eat dinner with him and the little one likes sleeping in his bed because it’s warm. Those creatures are hardly gonna help you take over the world, especially when Hank built that theme park—**

Theme park. The _fucking_ theme park! _Fucking_ Hank Heywood!

 

**Language!**

You won’t tell me anything about _language_ , I’m _your_ mind and controlling _your_ body—

 

**Aha! And who’s typing a text now? Is it you? No. It’s me. _Zari, could you get us some food? Nate’s fallen asleep and my legs are cramped…_**

****

Maybe I’ll kill him then, or Nora, it’s so easy, I just have to unplug her from life support—

 

* * *

 

He reached with one hand. The _idiot_ pushed back. He tried to get to her. The _rest_ of the idiots in this mind got up from their cots and actually had the decency to look threatening. In swimsuits. They were wearing those for some reason.

 

* * *

  

**Believe me, I’d rather have them wear clothes, but my subconscious—**

Is surprisingly horny. I got that a few hours ago. That’s probably the _only_ normal thing around here.

 

**Excuse me? Only normal thing? I’m pretty normal—**

You iron your socks! You fantasise about cleaning! The last one didn’t do that! He was all sad and alcoholic and dreamt about (ugh) _Constantine_ quite a lot, but—

 

**Did he think about sex with John? No, wait, why did I ask that, I don’t care—**

* * *

 

He made the body roll its eyes. _Something_. The worst thing about this _goofball_ was the fact he was _strong as hell_ , pun _intended_. It was the absolute _worst_ combination.

The eyes flickered to the unconscious body of Nora Darhk. There was this urge, this need—but instead he got hit by _love_. Filthy emotion. Love and adoration and worry and anxiety and lust and fear and hunger and more songs flew through his head all in like _two seconds_.

He made him get up. Outstretched one arm.

The door opened and Palmer moved his head. Neron hasn’t seen this human yet. He wondered about her weaknesses and got a big _billboard_ screaming _food_ in return.

‘Hey, Ray, I brought some enchiladas, what are you—doing?’ the female said, looking right at Palmer. He realised he _has_ seen her. At the _pool_. Palmer said her name was _Zari_ as if he _cared_.

‘Z! I’m just— _trying to_ —stretch the cramps! In my arm!’ He wiggled said arm. ‘Thanks for the food, you’re a saint!’

Not wanting to, the hands grabbed the plate. Smelt it. Somehow, the mind got _happier_. Why. _Why_.

‘Yeah, but the only reason I brought it is ‘cause I wanted to check on Nora. Next time get it yourself.’

‘Yes, sir!’ he gave a salute like he was some kind of _soldier_ and Neron got that hand down quickly. Palmer grabbed the food and started to eat. It was—it was _strange_ but sort of _good_ and he shouldn’t be having these thoughts. _Palmer’s_ thoughts.

 

* * *

 

**Mmmmmmmm. So good. Oh my god. I was really hungry as a wolf, huh? I wonder, does having a demon inside my mind burn more calories?**

That’s what you care about? Calories? What the fuck _are_ calories anyway?

 

**Oh you’re gonna learn a _lot_ about humans up here yet! You’ll learn that can’t _not_ love them! Oh! We’re gonna make a Crowley out of you—**

Don’t bring up that name—

 

**Did Desmond make you watch Supernatural? Do you know TV shows? Do demons watch TV—**

Shut. Up. Why is everyone so _obsessed_ with staring at the flat box and watching other humans do shit? Why do you do anything? Eat? Love? What’s it for? Hatred and destruction and pain, those are the good emotions, oh yes, but _that_?

 

**That’s what makes us human! And seriously, this is so good, I could go and make some more for Nate for when he wakes up—**

What if he _never_ wakes up? Oh yes, I tried to kill him before—

 

**The _only reason_ you’re alive is because I _let_ you in to _save_ Nora and Nate and you _won’t_ kill _anyone_ I love and woah! New song! **

**_Strumming my pain with his fingers_ _,_ **  
**_singing my life with his words,_**  
**_killing me softly with his song,_**  
**_killing me softly with his song,_**  
**_telling my whole life with his words,_**  
**_killing me softly with his song_**

 

Stop. Stop the music. Torture, this torture is worse than Hell—

 

**Then maybe you could try going right back there? I mean, no offence, but we’d all be better off—**

I _will_ kill this human—

 

**No, you will _not_!**

* * *

 

The Nathaniel-impression _ran_ towards his thoughts and suddenly turned his skin to _steel_. Of course this mind was _protected_ by that boyfriend-thing.

 _Love_. Disgusting. He’s had enough even with the _last one_.

Now _Constantine_ ran after him too. He was wearing that bloody tie even with swimwear.

 

* * *

 

Or maybe I could take over your body and _fuck_ this human and force you to _watch_ —

 

**Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool cool. Cool. Go for it. Maybe you’ll learn what an _amazing_ person he is and how _amazing_ he is in bed and oh that _tongue_ it can do _wonders_ and you’ll see what love is like and feel sorry about killing his dad—**

NEVER!

 

**Was that in caps lock? ‘Cause I kinda felt like it was. Aaaaanyway. Just chill! Enjoy this en _chill_ ada. See what I did there, enchilada? That sounds a bit like chinchilla—**

I. Hate. You. _Hate_. You. Now there are _chinchillas_ in your brain—

 

**I love chinchillas. So soft. Maybe I should get one as a pet. But what if I’m allergic? Oh no, I’m probably allergic—**

* * *

 

‘Okay, so I should probably head back. I think Charlie’s looking for me. We’ve been binging Queer Eye again.’ Zari pointed at the door. ‘Okay. I’ll leave you three to it. Bye.’ The door opened with a hiss, she walked through, it closed again.

Finally she was _gone_ and he could try and grab the knife and fork Palmer was eating with, try and slice someone’s throat…

 

* * *

 

**Whoa, there. Didn’t you say you wanted to keep a low profile, stay hidden for a bit and have some fun? Try to pretend to be me? Yeah, I know about that, same mind, remember? That’s not it. If we’re gonna do this, we’re gonna have to _work together_ —**

No.

 

**—cooperate, control the music, the food, the mouth, the grammar in the texts, you have to do a better impression of me if you want to be me!**

Why do you—are you trying to _lecture me_ on _how to possess people_? Me? A demon?

 

**You wouldn’t survive a day trying to be me. Admit it. They’d know instantly.**

That’s not—

 

**You know, it’s like I’m Eddie and you’re Venom! I’ll make you better! A week in this head, and you’ll join our crew! I guarantee it! And I know you know what Venom is, it’s my head, I’m thinking about the movie right now—**

Do you _ever_ shut up—

 

 **_I got a song filled with shit for the strong willed,_ **  
**_when the world gives you a raw deal,_**  
**_set you off ‘til you_**  
**_scream “piss off, screw you”,_**  
**_when it talks to you like you don’t belong_**  
**_or tells you you’re in the wrong field,_**  
**_when something’s in your mitochondrial_**  
**_‘cause it latched on to you, like_**  
**_knock knock, let the devil in, malevolent_**  
**_as I’ve ever been, head is spinnin’, this medicine_**  
**_screaming, “l-l-l-let us in”_**

__

That actually isn’t a _bad_ song if I’m being honest. Reminds me of my current _situation_ —

 

**Ha! I’ve got you! Eidetic memory. Love those bits. I’m gonna play this song at least ten times now. It’s the rules. And hey, maybe Nate will wake up and Nora will wake up and we can eat those enchiladas together—**


	140. i love you so much <333333

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy!

**2019/03/26**

**QueenZee:** so what happens now

**gayforray:** wdym

**QueenZee:** we have nothing to do now

**QueenZee:** do more creatures show up, or

**Lancelot:** Probably, idk

**Lancelot:** We’ve never defeated someone this fast and easy?

**smartsnart:** why aren’t you happier about this

**trickstergoddess:** oh trust me we are

**gayforray:** it’s just, with Nora still in a coma

**rayofsunshine:** You have no idea what’s coming.

**rayofsunshine:** _We_ have no idea what’s coming.

**grunt:** let’s sit around and drink

**Trenchcoat:** Good idea

**Trenchcoat:** But something tells me this isn’t over yet

**monalisa:** oh no

**QueenZee:** for once, for ONCE we could have this

**QueenZee:** and then you say that and we know you’re right

**gayforray:** why is that real

**Lancelot:** :(

**Lancelot:** It is though

**notbarryallen:** guys! why so negative! enjoy this wednesday!

**monalisa:** it’s tuesday 5 pm

**notbarryallen:** 😒

**gare-bear:** 5:06 pm, actually

**notbarryallen:** 😒😒😒

**notadick:** so what’s up otherwise

**Lancelot:** Caitlin got her dad back

**notbarryallen:** I thought he was evil?

**Lancelot:** He was but she got through him when he was trying to kill her

**notbarryallen:** right

**smartsnart:** does everyone have dead or evil parents on your earth

**gayforray:** pretty much

**smartsnart:** so do we, but harsh

**rayofsunshine:** It’s the superhero origin story!

**QueenZee:** your parents are just divorced

**rayofsunshine:** But I had a dead fiancée.

**TimeMom:** This isn’t a competition.

**notadick:** you say that a lot

**Lancelot:** Cause if it were, Nora would win

**gayforray:** ://

**notbarryallen:** you should come here again and get rid of this negativity, seriously

**grunt:** what’s up with you, kid

**notbarryallen:** it’s this environment. so good for your body and soul

**notadick:** it’s true

**QueenZee:** maybe we could go on vacation

**Lancelot:** Tibet is too close to Nanda Parbat for me…

**rayofsunshine:** Didn’t Nyssa disband the League?

**Lancelot:** Nyssa did

**gayforray:** 👀

**Lancelot:** Government secrets

**gare-bear: 👀👀👀**

**TimeMom:** Enough with the conspiracy theories, Gary

**monalisa:** did he talk to you about the queen being a lizard again

**gare-bear:** Won’t confirm or deny

**TimeMom:** He did.

**Trenchcoat:** I wouldn’t rule it out as an impossibility, though

**gayforray:** what

**rayofsunshine:** That’s right!

**rayofsunshine:** I mean, it’s not completely nuts, is it? With everything we’ve seen…

**Lancelot:** I gueSS

**notbarryallen:** oka y…

**QueenZee:** well, if the president can secretly be an alien in disguise on e-38

**gayforray:** holy batcow

**gayforray:** IS the queen a lizard

**monalisa:** or a werewolf

**monalisa:** like in doctor who

**rayofsunshine:** Gideon?

**MamaWaverider:** Information unavailable.

**grunt:** damn

**notbarryallen:** only with the interesting information I swear

**TimeMom:** Do you really believe this???

**monalisa:** as ray said,

**gare-bear:** I’m lovin’ it

**QueenZee:** let’s talk about something else

**monalisa:** yeah how’s it going with charlie

**QueenZee:** except that

**trickstergoddess:** were pretty great now that weve got over the stubbornness and unresolved tension and moved straight to cuddles and some celestial snogging

**trickstergoddess:** or should I say GAY ;)

**gayforray: 👏**

**notbarryallen:** no 👏 one 👏 here 👏 is 👏 straight 👏

**Lancelot:** We’re better than the MCU

**monalisa:** hell yes!!!

**smartsnart:** what?

**gayforray:** they have like 6 gays and all in tv shows

**gayforray:** and deadpool

**rayofsunshine:** They completely ignore Loki and Valkyrie’s sexuality in the movies.

**Lancelot:** And look at us!!!

**notbarryallen:** yoooo

**gare-bear:** Does anyone else feel like watching something queer right now

**QueenZee:** or a musical

**monalisa:** crazy ex girlfriend 👀

**gare-bear:** Yes baby!!!

**gare-bear:** But shoot I just realized I’m at work

**TimeMom:** Yes, TV shows can wait, we have important things to do here.

**TimeMom:** But once we’re off the clock, we definitely _are_ watching Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.

**gayforray:** give us some bi positivity

**Trenchcoat:** I’ll pass

**monalisa:** but bi positivity??

**Trenchcoat:** Bloody hate musicals

**Jaxon:** but u saw mamma miA WITH US

**notbarryallen:** lol that was so long ago

**notadick:** that was before we were together wtf

**notbarryallen:** ik

**rayofsunshine:** That was like a week after we got together.

**gayforray:** weird

**gayforray:** it’s our 8 month anniversary soon

**smartsnart:** congrats

**Lancelot:** Not that you weren’t in love two years before that

**QueenZee:** rightttt

**gayforray:** like Gary said, I’ll confirm or deny nothing

**trickstergoddess:** was it really that long

**trickstergoddess:** ive only known you in your happy honeymoon phase

**grunt:** you should’ve seen them

**grunt:** so much flirting, even I could tell

**notbarryallen:** yeah but with “bro” thrown around every three sentences

**rayofsunshine:** I remember…

**gayforray:** I loved those times though, bro <3

**rayofsunshine:** Aww, me too  <3

**TimeMom:** I almost can’t believe we’ve made it through 13 months.

**Lancelot:** I mean, yeah

**Lancelot:** After the Conversation, I can say I would make it through 13 years with you, and then 13 more and more again until we’re like, 90 and super old and have lots of grandkids

**Lancelot:** We’ll be the cool lesbian grandmas who are gonna teach everyone to fight bullies and love musicals

**TimeMom:** Stop or someone will see me cry in here, babe.

**TimeMom:** I love you so much  <333333

**Lancelot:** I love you 3,000

**TimeMom:** Double that.

**Lancelot:** 3,000,000

**TimeMom:** Squared.

**gayforray:** and now I’m crying too, thanks

**rayofsunshine:** Me too. For three reasons at least.

**Jaxon:** how can someone b like this wtf

**Jaxon:** carly n i have nuffin on u two

**notbarryallen:** samE

**trickstergoddess:** yall are weak

**monalisa:** WE have 3x the love but STILL

**gayforray:** and we

**gayforray:** but seriously it’s 4 reasons now

**gayforray:** 1) that quote, 2) Nora, 3) your cuteness and love, 4) the onions we’re putting in dinner stew

**Lancelot:** I’m not letting that quote go

**grunt:** dinner stew

**grunt:** hope it’s with real meat

**rayofsunshine:** Nora won’t be eating it.

**rayofsunshine:** 😭😭😭😭😭

**QueenZee:** how is she

**gayforray:** same as an hour ago

**TimeMom:** Can’t anyone do anything?

**MamaWaverider:** Her state was caused by demonic interference, so I’m afraid I can’t provide much information about it either. All I can do is sustain her until she wakes up on her own.

**Trenchcoat:** But Nora’s strong, she can pull through

**Lancelot:** She has to

**rayofsunshine:** I can’t lose another one.

**gayforray:** not to this motherfucker of a demon

**rayofsunshine:** Excuse me!

**rayofsunshine:** Autocorrect 😁 I meant exactly!

**Jaxon:** im praying for her if god is listening

**Lancelot:** He is but he only talks in the mightiest gays chat ;)

**Jaxon:** wait what

**gayforray:** oh yea, that apparently happened

**Lancelot:** We kinda… talked to like 6 different gods over there…

**QueenZee:** ok a y

**gayforray:** you did what now

**notbarryallen:** how did barry not tell me??

**Lancelot:** That’s between us

**Lancelot:** Diana asked us not to say anything

**Trenchcoat:** So Diana is there now

**trickstergoddess:** you havent heard about the drink off between her and lucifer

**notadick:** that was a wild sentence

**Jaxon:** ok ill go back to occasional lurking

**rayofsunshine:** Diana and Luci had a drink-off? I’d like to see that.

**monalisa:** it’s like, may the better bisexual celestial win amkfkjgnefe

**gayforray:** who won

**Lancelot:** Diana

**trickstergoddess:** nice

**QueenZee:** Kara filmed the thing

**grunt:** ofc the girls know

**monalisa:** we know everything

**QueenZee:** except the gods thing

**gayforray:** so anyway. stew is ready

**grunt:** coming

**rayofsunshine:** And thanks for the prayers  <3

**TimeMom:** Wait for me?

**Lancelot:** Sure  <3

**gare-bear:** And me

**QueenZee:** maybe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> marvel: 12 lgbt characters in tv shows and films  
> dc: 46 lgbt characters just in arrowverse + 35 more in other shows and films 
> 
> facts, guys, facts.


	141. i think she's a werewolf?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tfw more things from your fic become canon... 
> 
> this chapter is twice as long as usual and ties some loose ends from both canon (the last episode) and the fic. enjoy!

**2019/03/27**

**QueenZee:** [ _video attached_ : suretheMUMMYisthedummy.mp4]

**notbarryallen:** omg nate

**gayforray:** thanks, real thanks for that

**TimeMom:** Next time don’t embarrass yourself in front of everyone and their mummy.

**trickstergoddess:** ava made a joke, wow

**TimeMom:** 😒

**gayforray:** ha hah A

**gayforray:** it’s just been weird lately, you know

**gayforray:** with Nora down and Ray all odd and sand

**gayforray:** sad*

**QueenZee:** sure

**monalisa:** wanna join our book club

**gayforray:** nah it’s a ladies only event, amirite

**Lancelot:** 👍

**rayofsunshine:** Nora will be in good company. We can read a book together in bed, or something!

**gayforray:** <3

**monalisa:** question

**monalisa:** can mick join us when he wrote the book or

**Lancelot:** That’s actually a good question

**TimeMom** **:** I don’t know?

**grunt:** don’t want to

**grunt:** busy

**trickstergoddess:** writing another?

**grunt:** laundry

**QueenZee:** that’s unusual

**trickstergoddess:** just met him, he was really carrying laundry

**Lancelot:** Who does laundry at night

**rayofsunshine:** Mick, apparently.

**rayofsunshine:** I’ll take a look at Nora and then we can head to bed @gayforray!

 

* * *

 

**rayofsunshine** _to_ **Trenchcoat**

**rayofsunshine:** Something weird’s just happened, and I have to tell you something, John.

**rayofsunshine:** Are you here?

**Trenchcoat:** Still trying to figure out a cure for Nora, but go ahead

**rayofsunshine:** I’ve been hearing voices, losing control over my right hand… it’ really weird.

**rayofsunshine:** I already said that.

**rayofsunshine:** Anyway, I think something’s… inside me, and it’s not indigestion.

**Trenchcoat:** You mean like a demon

**rayofsunshine:** Yeah. Like N-

**Trenchcoat:** OH BLOODY HELL

**Trenchcoat:** Guess I’ll hop off Gary’s dick and look into it

**rayofsunshine:** You said you were looking for a cure?

**Trenchcoat:** Multitasking, squire

**Trenchcoat:** Now, he’ll want you to kill a loved one so stay away from everyone, Nate and Nora especially. For everyone’s safety

 

* * *

 

**2019/03/28**

**trickstergoddess:** so, good news, mick n I are going to a con and im gonna act as Rebecca for him

**trickstergoddess:** that will be fun

**grunt:** hmm

**gayforray:** why won’t you just say it’s you

**grunt:** do I look like a romance novelist to you

**gayforray:** well, yea-

**trickstergoddess:** you wont miss us for the day, will ya

**QueenZee:** there’s literally a new mission

**QueenZee:** we haven’t had a moment of peace since that one day when we had stew and cried about love

**TimeMom:** That was two days ago.

**QueenZee:** seems like it’s been longer

**rayofsunshine:** Trust me, it does.

**notbarryallen:** how was your movie night

**gayforray:** uh, Ray actually had to work on something so in the end, I was with Charlie and Mick

**trickstergoddess:** it was a nice night

**gare-bear:** And everyone’s abandoned me…

**monalisa:** weren’t you having a nice night in with johnny?

**gare-bear:** He had to leave too

**gare-bear:** Right in the middle of a magic lesson

**rayofsunshine:** He told me something different…

**Lancelot:** You keep doing magic lessons?

**Trenchcoat:** Gary’s actually improved

**gare-bear:** Thanks!!! <3

**monalisa:** that’s great!!!! can you teach me something too

**monalisa:** more than making chips float

**Trenchcoat:** After I’m done with Ray and Nora, we can get right on it ;)

**QueenZee:** _Ray_ and Nora?

**rayofsunshine:** It’s nothing to worry about!

**rayofsunshine:** Who’s going on the mission, anyway?

**gayforray:** looks like just Z and me

**monalisa:** I can go

**QueenZee:** great!

**gayforray:** I’m wounded, don’t you want to do a solo mission with me? your best friend?

**notbarryallen:** wasn’t I your best friend

**QueenZee:** whose

**gayforray:** you moved away, dude

**notbarryallen:** still, you don’t betray a best friend

**gayforray:** what can I say

**gayforray:** Zari’s a great video game partner 😉

**Lancelot:** Okay I’m going too

**monalisa:** girl team + nate, wooooo

**gayforray:** woooo

**trickstergoddess:** I thought you wanted to go to that con @monalisa

**monalisa:** I did but then I found out mick was rebecca so I can ask him all the questions in person, here on the ship（*＾ワ＾*）

**grunt:** is that a good thing

**monalisa:** yea!!!

**grunt:** I’m glad

**Lancelot:** Wow

**TimeMom:** Was that a compliment?

**grunt:** we’re going now

**trickstergoddess:** cheerio

**gayforray:** so we’re going too

**gayforray:** holy shit it’s like indiana jones in here???

**gayforray:** I love this

**gayforray:** apparently there’s a golden egg

**gayforray:** imam stop talking now cause no one’s replying anyway

**notbarryallen:** I’m here

**Jaxon:** same

**smartsnart:** me too

**gayforray:** lurkers don’t count

**Jaxon:** rude

**notbarryallen:** what if it’s another dragon 👀

**grunt:** did someone say dragon

**grunt:** I still want my dragon

**Lancelot:** It doesn’t look like a dragon egg

**TimeMom:** You mean based on Game of Thrones?

**Lancelot:** Yeah

**TimeMom:** Babe, GoT isn’t real.

**Lancelot:** Ik but

**rayofsunshine:** Who else is excited for season 8?

**gayforray:** only half a month left 🐉

**QueenZee:** don’t summon the dragons

**grunt:** do

**gayforray:** there was a dragon lair at dad’s theme park 👀

**gayforray:** also this egg is fake :(

**monalisa:** but we think we know who has the real one

**Lancelot:** Missions really got easier ever since Neron has died

**notbarryallen:** also that answers the question

**Lancelot:** What question

**notbarryallen:** whether creatures will keep showing up

**Lancelot:** Well, yeah

**TimeMom:** Question, has anyone thought about what we’ll do with all the creatures? Do we put them _all_ in the park? Do they stay here?

**gayforray:** that’s actually a good question

**Lancelot:** Huh

**QueenZee:** I remember seeing a lot of them at the park

**monalisa:** omg you were there

**monalisa:** you’re the perfect source of information 👀

**QueenZee:** why thanks

**trickstergoddess:** well, this place looks shiny

**trickstergoddess:** [ _image attached_ : pinkparadise.jpeg]

**monalisa:** wow

**monalisa:** maybe I could’ve gone there after all

**notbarryallen:** stop distracting the people on the mission to retrieve that dragon egg y’all 👏

**Lancelot:** We don’t know whether it’s a dragon egg

**Trenchcoat:** With our luck it probably is

**gayforray:** with our luck, we’ll fight for it with Nazis

**QueenZee:** he keeps saying that

**notbarryallen:** lol

**Lancelot:** Also he’s right, nvm

**TimeMom:** What? I’ll go help!

**Lancelot:** Thx

**Lancelot:** Do it quickly

**notbarryallen:** so what’s happening everywhere else

**grunt:** she’s not the real rebecca

**smartsnart:** they told you so, partner

**trickstergoddess:** I thought this wouldnt be hard but it is

**trickstergoddess:** if only someone here wasnt a coward

**grunt:** I’m not a coward

**notadick:** then why not show the world the face behind the name

**grunt:** it’s complicated

**trickstergoddess:** god I cant believe I used to shag him

**TimeMom:** Me neither.

**TimeMom:** Ray hasn’t said anything in a while. Are you sure he’s all right?

**gare-bear:** He’s with John and Nora, I’ll go check on them

**Trenchcoat:** No Gary don’t

**gare-bear:** Why not

**Trenchcoat:** We’re kind of in the middle of something

**Trenchcoat:** With Nora

**Lancelot:** You have the cure?

**Trenchcoat:** Yes

**Jaxon:** what IS up w ray

**gayforray:** he can’t sleep because of Nora and honestly? neither can I because of the both of them

**gayforray:** he’s always in the lab

**gare-bear:** No I found him and he’s acting weird

**gayforray:** ???

**gayforray:** the ladies have the egg so I’m gonna come over

**Trenchcoat:** [ _image attached_ : sleepingbeauty.jpeg]

**gayforray:** NORA!!!

**gayforray:** does Ray know

**Trenchcoat:** Coming over right now

**rayofsunshine:** No, don’t come here,

**Lancelot:** ???

**gayforray:** guys guys guys ow shit no I hate speech to text don’t come here he’s possessed by

**Trenchcoat:** Neron, yeah, he’s not dead

**Trenchcoat:** I told Ray to stay away before I figured something out

**Trenchcoat:** I have now, so I’m telling you

**Lancelot:** And you couldn’t before???

**grunt:** honestly, what’s wrong with you

**TimeMom:** Gary, why didn’t _you_ say anything?

**gare-bear:** I was told not to?

**Trenchcoat:** It’s safer this way, trust me

**darhkling:** so you know

**QueenZee:** Nora!!!

**TimeMom:** Welcome back, Nora.

**notbarryallen:** you knew?

**darhkling:** yeah but I was fucking unconSCIOUS

**darhkling:** why is my boyfriend such an idiot

**Lancelot:** He was trying to save you

**monalisa:** it was on the TAPE

**monalisa:** why didn’t we see it

**monalisa:** we’re all idiots

**Jaxon:** whats happening

**Trenchcoat:** Neron is trying to kill Nate and I’m trying to stop him

**trickstergoddess:** how are you typing

**Trenchcoat:** Speech to bloody text

**Lancelot:** Most of us do that like, half the time

**Lancelot:** We got the egg, should we come to the ship or

**Trenchcoat:** Don’t it’s not safe

**monalisa:** is garebear there

**Trenchcoat:** Yeah

**Trenchcoat:** He’s fine

**QueenZee:** guess he’s not a loved one

**monalisa:**  😒

**QueenZee:** you know what I meant! Ray’s!

**monalisa:** sure

**monalisa:** he IS a loved one jsyk

**gare-bear:** <3

**gare-bear:** John is down

**gare-bear:** And Neron, he’s

**TimeMom:** What?

**gare-bear:** He’s getting strong

**darhkling:** shit shit shit shirt

**darhkling:** I’m coming over, I’m

**Lancelot:** Nora, you’re too weak right now

**Lancelot:** WE are coming over, Aves has the courier

**notbarryallen:** this is like a horror movie wtf

**darhkling:** I can’t just do NOTHING

**darhkling:** I love him, do you understand

**TimeMom:** Too well.

**TimeMom:** But you can help us when you’ve not just woken up from a week of coma.

**QueenZee:** is the lab safe for the egg

**QueenZee:** I need to put it down before I can fight,

**Lancelot:** Should be

**Trenchcoat:** Except Ray’s giving up

**Trenchcoat:** He isn’t strong enough to resist and we aren’t strong enough to keep the demon out

**Trenchcoat:** My magic doesn’t fucking work against him anymore

**monalisa:** we have to do something

**darhkling:** not you mona, you’d get hurt,

**monalisa:** I can’t do nothing!! the demon’s already taken too much from us!!!

**QueenZee:** omw

**gare-bear:** MONA DON’T

**monalisa:** MONA DO

**Lancelot:** Holy

**Lancelot:** Mona just

**gare-bear:** I think she’s a werewolf?

**notbarryallen:** what???????

**Jaxon:** the fuck’s happening

**Lancelot:** [ _image attached_ : wolf.jpeg]

**notbarryallen:** I can’t see shit

**Lancelot:** Sorry for IMAGE QUALITY

**notadick:** omg

**darhkling:** my mona??? she’s a werewolf???

**darhkling:** she better kick that ass

**darhkling:** but not too much ray is still inside

**TimeMom:** The Kaupe, he scratched her back in December, remember?

**darhkling:** fuck, he did

**notbarryallen:** how did no one realize

**gare-bear:** Good question

**smartsnart:** what’s happening now

**gare-bear:** He’s thrown her away and I’m hiding here like a coward-

**gare-bear:** Zari can’t fight him either

**notbarryallen:** you mean

**gare-bear:** Ray’s not there anymore

**notadick:** that day before, that was the calm before the real storm

**notbarryallen:** :’((((((((

**darhkling:** don’t. don’t you dare say this

**darhkling:** just like that

**darhkling:** I’m getting up and getting him back

**QueenZee:** Nora don’t

**gare-bear:** You can’t do anything

**Trenchcoat:** It’s like Desmond all over

**Trenchcoat:** Except he’s got more power now

**darhkling:** no

**darhkling:** NO

**darhkling:** are you just giving up???

**Lancelot:** Nora he’s gone

**darhkling:** THEN FUCKING FIND HIM

**TimeMom:** I already told my agents.

**darhkling:** what about nate

**QueenZee:** he’s hurt but Gideon can patch him up right away

**darhkling:** good cause if I lost two people in one day

**Trenchcoat:** I wouldn’t want to be in your way

**darhkling:** it’s your fault, john

**darhkling:** you might’ve brought me back but you didn’t tell them when you knew

**darhkling:** I read the whole thing

**Trenchcoat:** I’m sorry

**trickstergoddess:** so I guess saying micks secret is officially out doesnt make this better

**notbarryallen:** he told everyone?

**trickstergoddess:** there was this crazy fan and I couldnt do it anymore

**trickstergoddess:** but he did and look at me, im actually proud

**QueenZee:** more news

**QueenZee:** it’s definitely a dragon egg

**gare-bear:** We knew it

**grunt:** I want my dragon

**Lancelot:** Maybe you’ll even get him, Mick

**grunt:** YES

**Lancelot:** But we have to focus on getting Ray back first

**trickstergoddess:** sure sure

**trickstergoddess:** but what was that about mona being a werewolf


	142. [interlude] together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is S A D but so was the end of the episode and i had to
> 
> enjoy <3

Thank God—or, in this instance, Gideon—the lab has been soundproofed, because the ship would be scattered to pieces by now. What once contained her rage and urges to kill every and any Legend who came her way, what she once hated with every inch of her being, Nora was grateful for.

Extreme measures, and all.

She needed the catharsis. She needed to scream her lungs out, let all the magic out, let it course through her veins and hit the barrier and never stop running. Tears ran down her cheeks, but she went on and on and on.

Until it hurt.

And hurt it did. It filled the void inside of her, left there by. Another. Demon. How long has it been? Almost a year from the first one. A day from the second one. Three hours, six minutes, and eleven seconds from the third one.

This time, it was more personal than ever before. This time, the demon took someone she _loved_.

So the pain filled her, and she let it out in purple waves of magic, and fuck, you know what was the worst thing? The imminent feeling that this was what she _deserved_.

After a minute, two, an hour? she collapsed on the floor. The cold metal burned her knees. Her hands fell numbly at her sides. After another minute passed, she wiped the rolling tears away with her fingers—but what good did it do? They didn’t _stop_.

So she sat there. She didn’t know if the others knew about her and chose to go about their own business or didn’t even care to find out. It didn’t matter.

Ray was gone. Possessed. Right after everything started to look brighter for her.

“Life’s going to be nothing but happy from now on.” Sure. Ray had believed that, maybe, but _could it really_?

 

‘Hey! Hey, hey, Nora, what are you doing? Are you out of your mind, you should be in bed—’ She opened her teary eyes. Not to see who has just disabled the energetic field. To look him in the eyes when she told him to leave her alone.

Except—

Damn it.

His face, beaten up, and his eyes, feeling the same sorrow; she couldn’t look away or actually _tell him that_. ‘Nate,’ she croaked.

He ran and bent over and picked her up, as gently as someone could when his skin was made of steel. ‘What are you doing?’

‘Taking you to bed,’ he said softly. Gideon opened all doors for them without asking, and also without asking, Nate took her to her and Zari’s empty room. Not his and Ray’s. She silently thanked him, and Charlie too, for having taken Zari out on a date or wherever and leaving this room to her. Them. Her mind quickly decided that maybe crying on someone’s shoulder was better than on the floor.

She clutched at the Time Bureau pin Ava had given her earlier when Nate laid her down; the insignia impressed itself into the palm of her hand. She couldn’t let it go. Him neither. So she said, ‘Stay with me?’

He gave her a sad smile. ‘Yeah. Erm—’ He de-steeled and put his hands in his jean pockets. She could see the cuts on his face again and another scream bubbled in her throat. He did that, in Ray’s body— ‘Should I just…?’

‘The bed, Nate.’ She snorted. It came out as something of a pathetic sob. ‘We’ve seen each other naked.’

‘Okay, yeah. Do you mind if we get under the covers? Ray and I always—’

He was in no better state than her. Maybe even worse; he was good at hiding his emotions, as ridiculous that might sound to someone who knew, or thought they knew, Nate Heywood. During those few months of friendship and then getting closer and closer, she really did know.

She was the same.

It was Ray who wore his heart on his sleeve, and he paid for that. They had been powerless. Couldn’t save him. Only got beaten, physically, emotionally.

Nate climbed in the bed and tucked them both in. Nora buried her head in the crook of his shoulder and gently wrapped her arm around his torso. She could feel their synchronised breath. She inhaled his scent. Felt safer. But the void—it was still there.

So was the pin, a promise of a better tomorrow, or whatever bullshit the Bureau advertised. But for now, she had to believe. Nate and her, they were both _agents_ now, they _would_ find their Ray, they _had to_ —

But what then? There was a demon inside him. He had given himself up to him willingly to save the man he loved. Not even Constantine could have done anything. _How_ could they bring him back?

Yeah, that was on her mind a lot.

Nate’s, too. ‘We can save him,’ he whispered. ‘We’ll find him, bring him here, figure something out. We have to. We always do. I don’t know what would—Jesus. I don’t even want to think about that right now—’

‘We won’t lose him, okay? Not after—’

‘Yeah.’ He pressed a kiss on her hair. ‘We won’t lose him.’

It sounded more like hope than a promise. But she had to take it. She held him, and he held her, and all magic she had let out exhausted her to the point of passing out mere minutes after climbing in this bed.


	143. that's a turn of events

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AMAYA IS BACK!!!!!
> 
> enjoy! and gimme some comments pls <333

**The Inner Circle  
2019/03/30**

**TimeMom** _added_ **darhkling** _to_ **The Inner Circle**

**TimeMom:** So it’s official!

 **gayforray:** welcome, new agent 🕰️ 😘

 **darhkling:** thanks

 **holt-the-door:** hey nora!!!

 **holt-the-door:** and before you ask, this awesome ai that sadly isn’t from out workshop found ray/neron so we’re on his tail

 **holt-the-door:** it’s all gonna be alright

 **darhkling:** yeah

 **darhkling:** I’m totally not having a mental breakdown for two days

 **gayforray:** I’m always there for you <3

 **TimeMom:** So are we.

 **monalisa:** yeah! we have all the rosé and cookies and trashy romance novels!

 **gare-bear:** And hugs from your favorite Garebear 🐻

 **darhkling:** I really appreciate it

 **darhkling:** but you should really give those to Nate too

 **gayforray:** no I’m fine

 **TimeMom:** Are you really?

 **holt-the-door:** man, no one would be in your situation

 **gayforray:** fuck you’re right

 **gayforray:** but this is hardly the first time something bad happened to one of us

 **gayforray:** and we’re agents here, damn it

 **monalisa:** if nothing, we’ll kill the demon with love and positivity ･:*:･ﾟ☆ｄ(≧∀≦)ｂﾟ+.ﾟｲｲ

 **gare-bear:** No one messes with the ot3s

 **monalisa:** RIGH T

 **gayforray:** right!!

 

* * *

 

**Team Trash Humans  
2019/03/31**

**animalgirl:** I’ve just read the whole thing and it’s making me angry. How can a demon DARE take Ray???

 **notadick:** last entry: wednesday

 **notadick:** wow

 **grunt:** it’s not even 7 am on a sunday

 **grunt:** fuck off people

 **QueenZee:** @animalgirl RIGHT????? and we still weren’t able to fix it and just

 **animalgirl:** Is everyone else all right? Nathaniel?

 **QueenZee:** he’s barely sleeping

 **QueenZee:** neither am I

 **QueenZee:** didn’t even notice it was 6:42 already

 **notadick:** you’ve been up all night?

 **QueenZee:** yeah

 **gayforray:** hey

 **gayforray:** it’s true I can’t sleep but it’s because we’re doing research at the bureau and trying to find binding spells and exorcisms and shit and tracking Neron’s every move

 **gayforray:** but he’s always one step ahead of us and every time we think we’re close and open a portal he disappears cause he’s got the time stone

 **animalgirl:** Do you need my help? Because I’d come right this minute.

 **QueenZee:** no, it’s, we know you said you’d never come back and have your family over in Zambesi

 **QueenZee:** but thank you for offering  <3

 **animalgirl:** To be honest, I miss you all a lot.

 **gayforray:** same :(

 **notbarryallen:** same

 **notbarryallen:** both @ amaya and everyone else

 **notadick:** double same

 **notbarryallen:** that

 **QueenZee:** same on the double same

 **gayforray:** it’s too soon for this

 **gayforray:** or too late

 **animalgirl:** How many coffees have you had?

 **gayforray:** like… six

 **MamaWaverider:** It was seven espressos and a Red Bull.

 **gayforray:** right, yeah

 **notbarryallen:** you should rest

 **notbarryallen:** sleep helps the soul

 **gayforray:** thanks, wise master yoda

 **animalgirl:** It’s true.

 **MamaWaverider:** I agree.

 **QueenZee:** see, even Gideon says that

 **animalgirl:** But the same goes for you.

 **Lancelot:** Why is everyone awAKE HERE

 **Lancelot:** I want to murder someone

 **grunt:** same

 **grunt:** can’t sleep anymore

 **animalgirl:** Sorry…

 **animalgirl:** It’s nearly one p.m. here.

 **notbarryallen:** well we have 9 pm but who’s counting

 **Lancelot:** No it’s okay

 **Lancelot:** We should be productive I guess

 **gayforray:** that’s a turn of events

 **QueenZee:** should I do the wakeup call

 **gayforray:** BREAKFAST

 **QueenZee:** I’ll take that as a yes

 **animalgirl:** Also, do you really have a dragon egg on the ship?

 **gayforray:** yeah

 **gayforray:** still hasn’t hatched

 **grunt:** it’s my baby

 **notadick:** ok 😂

 **notbarryallen:** mama mick

 **grunt:** is something funny

 **notbarryallen:** no I’m proud of you

 **darhkling:** EHO THE FUVK

 **darhkling:** *who the fuck

 **gayforray:** yikes

 **QueenZee:** wakeup call ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **Trenchcoat:** The song could wake a guy up from a bloody coma

 **darhkling:** YEAH

 **Lancelot:** I’m glad I’m not on the ship

 **animalgirl:** She played that song, didn’t she?

 **gayforray:** wake up call

 **gayforray:** yeah

 **gayforray:** I pity those who were actually asleep

 **darhkling:** were you up all night at the parlor again

 **gayforray:** 😅

 **TimeMom:** Don’t be mad at me right now.

 **QueenZee:** why

 

**TimeMom** _removed_ **rayofsunshine** _from_ **Team Trash Humans**

**TimeMom:** He could literally read this.

 **darhkling:** that’s—yea no that’s smart

 **Lancelot:** Sad though

 **gayforray:** 😭

 **gayforray:** I want to make a burrito and go eat it in the jacuzzi while crying a lot and accidentally soak it and then eat it anyway

 **notadick:** that’s specific

 **Lancelot:** B99 👀

 **gayforray:** yeah

 **monalisa:** don’t be sad! it’s sunday! curtis tracked neray in sweden

 **notbarryallen:** NERAY

 **Lancelot:** Why Sweden

 **animalgirl:** She hardly knows that.

 **monalisa:** yeah

 **Lancelot:** I couldn’t think of a better question

 **grunt:** what’s for breakfast

 **gayforray:** idk I’m having lots of croissants

 **QueenZee:** [ _image attached_ : nateandhiscroissants.jpeg]

 **gayforray:** and maybe that burrito later

 **smartsnart:** the world is almost ending and you’re having croissants

 **QueenZee:** you can’t fight a demon on an empty stomach??

 **Trenchcoat:** It’s advised against

 **smartsnart:** right

 **smartsnart:** good luck bitches

 **notbarryallen:** ditto

 **darhkling:** thanks

 **animalgirl:** Eat up and get Ray back 💪

 **TimeMom:** We’re coming on the ship because we don’t have the time or patience for cooking.

 **QueenZee:** Mick will free some chairs

 **Lancelot:** We can do that

 **Lancelot:** Nvm he’s somehow sitting on three chairs

 **smartsnart:** typical

 **notbarryallen:** pic

 **Lancelot:** [ _image attached_ : chairman.jpeg]

 **notadick:** “chairman”

 **gayforray:** *Kara voice* the legends can’t lose their humor!!!

 **QueenZee:** wow I heard that

 **gayforray:** *Batman voice* it is hard to fight one’s demons, but sometimes you must. when the time comes, you must be prepared. you must face your fears. you must eat as much pastry as you can

 **monalisa:** why is that so funny akdnkjnfjgg

 **notadick:** 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

 **Lancelot:** Bruce would probz actually say something like that

 **gayforray:** he’s a dad ofc he would

 **gayforray:** but maybe with vegetables

 **gare-bear:** Do the Robins eat their veggies or does he have Alfred make them 👀

 **TimeMom:** Look who’s finally up.

 **gare-bear:** Tired

 **gare-bear:** Yesterday night exhausted me enough to sleep through the song

 **monalisa:** (I told him about it)

 **notbarryallen:** ahhhhhh

 **Trenchcoat:** Sex pumps you up for a fight

 **Lancelot:** Or after

 **gayforray:** tru

 **Lancelot:** Also I’ll go ask him @gare-bear

 **Lancelot:** Says it’s the latter but often pointless, the exception being our dragon king

 **notbarryallen:** he probably knows a lot about dragons

 **notbarryallen:** you could get him to check the egg out

 **QueenZee:** that’s a good idea

 **gayforray:** actually yeah

 **Trenchcoat:** I know a lot about dragons too, you know

 **grunt:** same

 **grunt:** and it’s my dragon

 **TimeMom:** For the last time, Mick, no one actually SAID it was.

 **grunt:** but it is

 **grunt:** I called dibs on the next one

 **darhkling:** can’t argue with that logic

 **Lancelot:** We’ll consider it

 **TimeMom:** Really?

 **Lancelot:** Yeah, why not

 **TimeMom:** Oh, I don’t know, you know how Mick gets with fire.

 **monalisa:** you know what would be cool

 **gare-bear:** An ice dragon like in GoT!

 **monalisa:** yeah!!!!

 **notadick:** literally COOL ;)

 **gare-bear:** Omg you’re right

 **smartsnart:** eat your croissants, kids

 **QueenZee:** I have pancakes

 **smartsnart:** irrelevant

 **QueenZee:** maybe you’re irrelevant

 **trickstergoddess:** ooh sick

 **trickstergoddess:** now whos gonna beat up that demon arse

 **gayforray:** WE ARE

 **gayforray:** GENTLY

 **darhkling:** CAUSE OUR BOYFRIEND’S INSIDE

 **trickstergoddess:** hell yeah!!!


	144. so where's john and ray?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [PLEASE READ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17384027/chapters/44401822) CHAPTERS 50 & 51 OF SCTGNTTB IF YOU HAVEN'T YET. i mean, you don't have to, but it has context for the beginning of this + some april fools' shenanigans! 
> 
> now, this is, again, the episode chapter. and it's split in two. ik these probably aren't as popular as the other ones, but i love doing them, fitting canon into this and altering it just slightly. so i hope you enjoy!

**Team Trash Humans  
2019/04/02**

**Lancelot:** So I’m coming back from Star

**Lancelot:** Any updates on John

**gayforray:** no :((

**monalisa:** curtis said archer can’t find him if he’s not in the present

**QueenZee:** then I got an idea that we could recalibrate the magic-o-meter and use it track John’s magic

**QueenZee:** so Gideon and I are on that now

**Lancelot:** Great

**darhkling:** right now we can’t do much

**gayforray:** are you still stuck with paperwork

**darhkling:** becoming an agent isn’t as glorious as one would expect

**gayforray:** yeahhhh

**monalisa:** feel you

**gare-bear:** Same

**TimeMom:** But it’s necessary.

**darhkling:** ik

**darhkling:** can someone bring me dinner or something

**monalisa:** on it

**monalisa:** quattro formaggi tortilla with a side of salad and spicy salsa?

**darhkling:** bless

**TimeMom:** How’s Laurel?

**Lancelot:** I think I got through to her

**Lancelot:** I’m great at talking people out of doing stupid shit it seems ;’)

**QueenZee:** that’s great

**Lancelot:** But I’m also hella tired

**TimeMom:** I already made us some food. We’re gonna have a nice night and forget about all this demon crap for a while, ok, babe?

**Lancelot:** God I love you <3

**gayforray:** in the meantime, I’m just gonna watch the egg ig

 

* * *

 

**The Inner Circle  
2019/04/03**

**monalisa:** can you believe this??? performance reviews???

**holt-the-door:** we should be looking for neray

**darhkling:** right!!

**darhkling:** not that I don’t trust gary, but

**monalisa:** yeah

**gayforray:** wait you’re doing what

**monalisa:** when are those times I had to hide on the ship cause everyone thought I was dead

**holt-the-door:** and now you’re a werewolf

**monalisa:** you know about that?

**holt-the-door:** uhh yeah I do

**monalisa:** god I hope wolfie doesn’t come out right now

**gayforray:** hope for the best

**gayforray:** and BEHOLD

**gayforray:** [ _image attached_ : dragonsbed.jpeg]

**darhkling:** 👍

**holt-the-door:** that’s not fair

**holt-the-door:** why do you get to be the one who’s not being reviewed

**gayforray:** cause the love of my life is in trouble and we’re looking for him!

**monalisa:** well so IS MINE

**monalisa:** AND I’M STUCK HERE

**darhkling:** YES

**holt-the-door:** don’t get mad now tho

**monalisa:** you’re right…,

**gayforray:** 👍👍👍

 

* * *

 

**Team Trash Humans**

**Lancelot:** @everyone Gideon found John

**notbarryallen:** that’s great

**smartsnart:** look at you, getting somewhere

**gayforray:** we also got somewhere

**QueenZee:** he means the egg

**grunt:** my egg

**trickstergoddess:** if its your egg then why are zee and nate taking care of it

**grunt:** they know biology and stuff

**gayforray:** I literally had to read John’s books

**QueenZee:** I found it, so

**notbarryallen:** aww you’re dragon parents

**gayforray:** but not like, together

**QueenZee:** no, gross

**gayforray:** like best friends kinda thing

**notbarryallen:** I didn’t say anything lmao

**darhkling:** so you’re not mad about not being their bff anymore

**notbarryallen:** well

**QueenZee:** shut up, Wally

**trickstergoddess:** didnt you once say everyone loved everyone here like in a big kinda orgy

**monalisa:** anyone seen zoolander 2

**gayforray:** yes aljdkfnfks

**Lancelot:** We’re not like those orgies Mona

**QueenZee:** yeah,

**QueenZee:** gay, remember

**animalgirl:** So where’s John and Ray?

**darhkling:** 👀

**notbarryallen:** good diversion

**gayforray:** ice age

**animalgirl:** That reminds me of Gertie the dinosaur.

**gayforray:** yeah I remember

**gayforray:** that was really cool, what you did

**grunt:** why does everything remind me of haircut

**Lancelot:** We all miss him

**smartsnart:** have you even figured out how to get him back

**Lancelot:** Well

**Lancelot:** Not exactly

**darhkling:** john’s gone and I’m still fucking stuck here

**darhkling:** stupid performance reviews

**monalisa:** don’t you think it’s a little fishy

**monalisa:** and gary’s been sort of odd since neray took johnny

**QueenZee:** you mean he’s not always odd

**grunt:** time dweeb is always weird

**gayforray:** cut him some slack, he’s not the same nerdy weirdo he was a year ago

**monalisa:** YEA

**monalisa:** but really it’s been weird today

**darhkling:** so mona just came here

**darhkling:** and I think she’s right

**darhkling:** he’s been acting more confident and stuff but today he’s… different

 

**darhkling** _removed_ **gare-bear** _from_ **Team Trash Humans**

**darhkling:** just in case

**Lancelot:** You think Neray might have something to do with it

**QueenZee:** well, he did talk to Gary the last time

**monalisa:** we’re investigating it

**animalgirl:** Isn’t he your boyfriend?

**monalisa:** yeah but I hardly saw him in the past week

**monalisa:** I thought it was bc of neron and john and wolfie but

**gayforray:** meanwhile

**gayforray:** we’re here and we have eyes on them but it’s not looking good

**gayforray:** fuck it hurts seeing his face but hearing neron’s words

**darhkling:** oh shit

**darhkling:** can you

**darhkling:** you can save him, right

**gayforray:** John says we should fire

**gayforray:** I can’t believe this, I

**monalisa:** johnny what are you DOING

**grunt:** remember his past, sunshine

**grunt:** and it’s a demon we’re talking about

**darhkling:** he’s your FAMILY

**darhkling:** HE’S MY FAMILY

**gayforray:** I’M SAYING THAT TOO DAMMIT

**Lancelot:** Council

**Lancelot:** John says we should hit them but I don’t want to

**notbarryallen:** you didn’t come all this way to save him not to save him

**animalgirl:** You can’t just kill them!

**smartsnart:** but if the demon is as bad as you said

**notbarryallen:** that’s not an excuse

**Lancelot:** I agree with Wally

**Lancelot:** We can’t just

**animalgirl:** Tell me Mick isn’t about to do something stupid.

**gayforray:** FUCK

**gayforray:** FUCK

**gayforray:** FCUKK

**gayforray:** MICK IDD SOSETINHG SRUPID

**gayforray:** BUTIT WAS A TARRAP

**gayforray:** THEYDE FONE ANF ERE IN A ABALANCHEE


	145. we're gonna fix this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all aboard the angst trainnnnnnn choo choo
> 
> this 2k chapter is the rest of the episode and yes ik i split the story unwisely, word count-wise, but what's done is done am i right

**2019/04/03**

**notbarryallen:** guys

**notadick:** guys???

**animalgirl:** Oh my god.

**darhkling:** NO HE DIDN’T

**darhkling:** IM GRABBING A COURIER,

**monalisa:** nora we gotta stay on the mission here

**monalisa:** they’re not dead

**gayforray:** WE’RE NOT DEAD

**Lancelot:** Only trapped under tons of snow with no way out and not enough power for heating

**QueenZee:** and Neray and John are god knows where again

**trickstergoddess:** mick fucking did that

**grunt:** it was the right call

**QueenZee:** yeah? I thought we were family

**QueenZee:** I’m gonna go see the egg and won’t let you near it

**gayforray:** and I’m joining her

**Jaxon:** what the fuck, man

**smartsnart:** the mick I knew would never

**grunt:** I’m not the mick you knew, fake snart

**smartsnart:** ouch

**smartsnart:** I’m gonna go spend time with my husband and leave you to this

**gayforray:** ok, you know what, that’s great

**gayforray:** John and Ray are gone

**gayforray:** from what you said, sounds like Gary is under demon influence

**Lancelot:** Ava isn’t responding to our calls

**notbarryallen:** ava too???

**monalisa:** everyone here is like, gary is all the man you need

**monalisa:** I DON’T DISAGREE but this is like a CULT

**darhkling:** I hate this

**darhkling:** I hate my life

**darhkling:** I finally allowed myself to be happy with ray and then everything does a full 180 and demons and cults and deaths are back

**QueenZee:** Nor

**QueenZee:** we’re gonna fix this

**gayforray:** we’re GONNA get him back, okay, Nor

**trickstergoddess:** this is just a tiny glitch

**notbarryallen:** gah I wish I could run all the way to the ice age and get you out,

**Jaxon:** u can’t?

**notbarryallen:** no speedster ever traveled so far back

**gayforray:** ://

**darhkling:** idc about gary, I’m gonna go find that time courier and get you

**darhkling:** or not fuck never mind

**QueenZee:** what’s going on

**darhkling:** it’s my turn for the review

**darhkling:** I have to go

**darhkling:** but at least I’ll find out what’s going on with gary

**monalisa:** I’ll do it

**Lancelot:** No, Mona, if something’s really going on over there, you should stop it

**Lancelot:** I mean, we have like two days till we’re out of power

**trickstergoddess:** this ship travels in time, its fine

**monalisa:** are you sure

**Lancelot:** You said it yourself, you have to stay on the mission

**QueenZee:** I feel like we’ve always been a little unfair towards Gary and it led to… whatever he’s done

**QueenZee:** even if he’s got you and John

**gayforray:** I feel really bad about that now

**Lancelot:** Yeah

**Lancelot:** Well, guess WE’RE gonna try to dig out way out

**notbarryallen:** fingers crossed

**animalgirl:** It sucks, reading this and feeling helpless, doesn’t it?

**notbarryallen:** yeah

**Jaxon:** yea

**Jaxon:** maybe ray had some emergency plans, or smth?

**gayforray:** I’ll go check our room

**gayforray:** but first you have to see this

**gayforray:** [ _image attached_ : pregnant.jpeg]

**Lancelot:** Is that the egg???

**trickstergoddess:** woah zee we should be more careful next time

**QueenZee:** ha ha

**notbarryallen:** 😂

**Jaxon:** ur gonna b a great mom, z ;)

**QueenZee:** it needs to be kept warm

**QueenZee:** or actually, Wickstable

**QueenZee:** Nate named it that

**gayforray:** it’s a good name!

**QueenZee:** I’m not saying it isn’t

**QueenZee:** it’s nice to see him excited

**monalisa:** ://

**notbarryallen:** :(

**QueenZee:** Mona, what’s your status

**monalisa:** I’m afraid for gary

**monalisa:** and everyone else too ofc hehe

**monalisa:** nora’s back, wait for more updates

**trickstergoddess:** its not like weve got something better to do

**trickstergoddess:** mick and the cap are fighting in here so

**gayforray:** well stop them!

**trickstergoddess:** its fun actually

**QueenZee:** Charlie…

**trickstergoddess:** yeah alright

**gayforray:** I found Ray’s survival guide, TY JAX

**Jaxon:** what would u do w/o me smh

**gayforray:** gather round everyone?

**Lancelot:** Yeah

**Lancelot:** Please give me some good news

**Lancelot:** Charlie just pretended to be Mick to apologize to me and it’s not working

**trickstergoddess:** I stopped the fight and then you stormed off, what more could I do to keep this together

**notbarryallen:** you’re legends! you’re family! you don’t fight!

**notadick:** yeah

**notadick:** or so I assume

**notbarryallen:**  🙄

**QueenZee:** it’s been months, Richard

**notadick:** my name isn’t actually richard ffff

**QueenZee:** do you have more updates, @monalisa

**monalisa:** gary’s really under control :((( and somehow controls the other agents :(((

**darhkling:** we’re trying to lock him in a cell and find out how it happened

**monalisa:** and why no one knew anything for almost a week

**monalisa:** god I’m so stupid,,,

**Lancelot:** No you’re not

**Lancelot:** As much as I hate it, I didn’t notice when Ava was missing either

**Lancelot:** We’re not perfect

**darhkling:** what about the guide

**gayforray:** nothing about avalanches we haven’t tried before ://

**QueenZee:** so yeah, we’re fucked here

**monalisa:** we ARE coming for you

**monalisa:** later

**monalisa:** like you said

**trickstergoddess:** thanks, mona

**trickstergoddess:** guess we can play the “cards to save the timeline” weve also found

**notbarryallen:** like cards against humanity??

**Jaxon:** i kinda wanna play that

**gayforray:** yeah, he made it

**gayforray:** we played it with Nora once 😭

**animalgirl:** It’s gonna be all right.

**notadick:** u gotta have hope

**trickstergoddess:** and a dragon egg in a baby sack

**QueenZee:** fyi, they’ve been making fun of that the whole time

**trickstergoddess:** like I said, we cant fall apart

**trickstergoddess:** gotta lift the spirit somehow

**notbarryallen:** lol that’s good

**monalisa:** pics?

**grunt:** [ _image attached_ : thatsmyegg.jpeg]

**trickstergoddess:** well idk about that

**notbarryallen:** yeah man, z seems to be quite attached

**QueenZee:** I’m

**QueenZee:** idk, I FOUND the egg

**grunt:** but I called dibs

**Lancelot:** Idk if you can have it after today

**grunt:** ☹️

**gayforray:** yeah, I gave it a name

**monalisa:** hey guys?

**QueenZee:** what’s going on, Mona

**monalisa:** I uh

**monalisa:** don’t wanna make this worse

**gayforray:** what hapPENED

**QueenZee:** yeah I thought it was FINE

**monalisa:** you know how nora had the review

**monalisa:** she’s hypnotized too now

**monalisa:** she locked me in a cell but I got out thanks to wolfie

**gayforray:** NO NO NO NO ONO O

**gayforray:** WHY ME WHY TODAY

**monalisa:** now u know how I feel :’(((((((

**monalisa:** jeez this is so angsty

**Lancelot:** I don’t wanna even play the cards anymore,

**smartsnart:** do it

**smartsnart:** you gotta unwind

**Lancelot:** Well, we’re freEZING TO DEATH

**QueenZee:** [ _image attached_ : parkaparty.jpeg]

**smartsnart:** are those _mine_

**grunt:** my snart’s, yeah

**trickstergoddess:** did you know they used to be a couple

**smartsnart:** I did, yeah

**monalisa:** wait what

**trickstergoddess:** I was quite surprised, found out like a week ago

**Lancelot:** Literally no one was surprised

**trickstergoddess:** blast off, youve been here 3 years longer than me

**grunt:** let it go

**notadick:** how many hours does the ship have left

**gayforray:** what

**Lancelot:** 32

**notadick:** turn the fucking heating on then ffs

**notadick:** either mona will get to you or you’ll die anyway

**QueenZee:** well thanks

**Lancelot:** You know what

**grunt:** she did it

**notadick:** classic scenario

**notadick:** happened SO many times during my robin and nightwing times and guess what

**gayforray:** you got out last minute in a blaze of glory and fashion

**notadick:** or I was rescued

**notadick:** but you get the point

**monalisa:** ok so

**monalisa:** I’m the last to go with my surname being wu

**monalisa:** which kinda always sucked btw, in school and stuff, but

**monalisa:** goi ng in now

**monalisa:** we’re dating, I HAVE TO get to him!

**QueenZee:** U GO GIRL

**gayforray:** I never begged gary for anything but PLEASE GARY BE STRONG GET THROUGH AND SAVE US

**notbarryallen:** that’s a wholeass mood

**monalisa:** hes noy recognizinf me

**monalisa:** buihave wolfie as a backuo plan

**notbarryallen:** that’s less of a mood

**gayforray:** but this is nice

**gayforray:** [ _video attached_ : cards.jpeg]

**notadick:** told ya

**notadick:** always listen to dick ;)

**trickstergoddess:** thats good 😂

**QueenZee:** I thought that wasn’t your name

**notadick:** just take the pun

**Lancelot:** And guess what Rickie

**Lancelot:** Gideon just said that “due to our reckless use of rapidly depleting energy, the temperature of the ship melted the ice enough to shake it loose”

**Lancelot:** I could kiss you if you weren’t 11k years in the future and in Tibet 😘😘😘

**notadick:** HA

**QueenZee:** we’re saving ourselves

**QueenZee:** take that, NERON

**gayforray:** YEAH

**gayforray:** thank you Ray you brilliant mind in a brilliant body with your brilliant contingency plans that work out differently than one would assume  <333

**gayforray:** now he better have one for himself or else

**notbarryallen:** !!!!!!

**notbarryallen:** go get john

**Jaxon:** wooooo

**Jaxon:** more good news anyone?

**monalisa:** I GOT IT

**monalisa:** ITS THE NIPPLR

**monalisa:** WOFLIE OUT

**Lancelot:** The nipple?????

**grunt:** you mean

**Lancelot:** The nipple that went to hell with the unicorn???

**darhkling:** WE’RE AWAKE

**darhkling:** ava is fine

**darhkling:** wolfie’s got gary in a corner

**darhkling:** which is sad but

**darhkling:** I just read this? you have power? that’s great!!!

**trickstergoddess:** yeah and we found john at stonehenge, flying there now

**grunt:** we’ve got eyes on him

**grunt:** and there’s this shiny portal thing open

**darhkling:** NO

**notbarryallen:** is that…?

**darhkling:** tell me it’s not a portal to hell

**TimeMom:** Hi, uh, do you think he wants to bring Tabitha back?

**TimeMom:** He talked about her when I was in purgatory.

**grunt:** who the fuck’s tabitha

**darhkling:**???

**trickstergoddess:** it looks like a portal to hell but it’s blue?

**darhkling:** he stabilized it

**darhkling:** that’s really powerful magic, how did he

**trickstergoddess:** I think its his turn to do something stupid

**trickstergoddess:** hes on the edge of that portal

**trickstergoddess:** aaaaaaand he jumped in

**Jaxon:** wut??

**darhkling:** IS HE OUT OF HIS MIND?

**notbarryallen:** why after all this??????????

**TimeMom:** He probably thinks it’s the only way…?

**darhkling:** of course he does

**darhkling:** it’s the part of his aesthetic

**notbarryallen:** but goinf to hell????

**Lancelot:** It’s John’s thing

**Lancelot:** He always says it’s what he deserves after Desmond and Astra

**Lancelot:** But if he thinks Ray is in there

**darhkling:** o

**darhkling:** oh my FUCKING GOD

**darhkling:** if they’re torturing him in hell, oh my god, he

**darhkling:** that self-sacrificing IDIOT JUST HAD TO DO THIS

**gayforray:** jesus christ I’m

**gayforray:** and he did that for me

**gayforray:** but I would’ve done the same

**darhkling:** yeah, well

**darhkling:** me too

**gayforray:** it’s what heroes like us do

**gayforray:** but it’s awful hearing this over and over

**darhkling:** why can’t this just be easy for once

**QueenZee:** yeah

**QueenZee:** musicals and adventure, that’s what we signed up for

**QueenZee:** not this heartbreaking crap

**gayforray:** god I’m crying so much right now

**darhkling:** Fuck

**Lancelot:** Believe me, I want to cry too

**Lancelot:** But we still have a mission

**Lancelot:** Because Tabitha just came out and then disappeared with Neray and our bet is that she’s looking for a new host

**TimeMom:** What does she look like?

**grunt:** the fucking fairy godmother that’s what

**TimeMom:** What???

**darhkling:** this just keeps getting fucking better

**TimeMom:** But thankfully, Gary is all right and de-nippled again.

**QueenZee:** how

**TimeMom:** You don’t wanna know.

**darhkling:** wolfie

**grunt:** gross

**notbarryallen:** but she’s his gf, sooo

**TimeMom:** No, I don’t want to think about that.

**Lancelot:** Yeah

**Lancelot:** Aves, we’re coming back and

**Lancelot:** I really need you right now

**TimeMom:** I’m coming on the ship  <3

**Lancelot:** <3

**darhkling:** I’ll uh

**darhkling:** I need something to do, I’ll take care of mona

**QueenZee:** does she know

**darhkling:** no

**darhkling:** god I’m gonna have to tell her about john, aren’t I

**darhkling:** honestly, fuck this day

**gayforray:** you, me, Mona, Gary

**gayforray:** we’re gonna have a night in and be sad and eat a lot and drink gross vodka

**gayforray:** for our self-sacrificing idiots

**darhkling:** yeah

**darhkling:** god, what would we do without you

**gayforray:** what would we do without YOU, Nor

**darhkling:** I failed today, nate, I let GARY get to me

**QueenZee:** we all failed

**QueenZee:** but we trust John on this one, cause if we don’t

**Lancelot:** He didn’t jump in for nothing

**darhkling:** yeah

**darhkling:** WELL FUCK THIS AGAIN

**darhkling:** neray and tabitha are here

**TimeMom:** At the Bureau?

**darhkling:** they have mona and gary

**TimeMom:** SHIT.

**darhkling:** I’m so tired of this but I won’t fail this time

**darhkling:** I’m going after them

**Lancelot:** NORA NO

**TimeMom:** I have this.

**notbarryallen:** what’s happening

**notbarryallen:** are you

**TimeMom:** I used the courier and brought her here.

**TimeMom:** She hates it and I can’t blame her, but we won’t lose another one.

**QueenZee:** Ray, John, Gary, Mona

**QueenZee:** only we are left now

**gayforray:** in case it hasn’t been said enough

**gayforray:** F U C K

* * *

 

**gayforray** _created a group_

**gayforray** _named the group_ **the last resistance**

**gayforray** _added_ **darhkling** , **Lancelot** , **TimeMom** , **QueenZee** , **trickstergoddess,** _and_ **grunt** _to_ **the last resistance**

 

**gayforray:** we’re in the endgame now

 


	146. we need a plant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two days ago i had a dream about the legends talking in their chat and making these elaborate plans to defeat neron and it wasn't even for the first time GUYS IT'S TAKING OVER MY LIFE
> 
> so of course i gotta write three chapters in a row & bring back an old chat and introduce a new one. enjoy!

**the last resistance  
2019/04/03**

**grunt:** are you nuts

**QueenZee:** why are you making this worse

**Lancelot:** That quote???

**gayforray:** SORRY I HAD TO

**gayforray:** neron or whoever could, like, get into that chat and read our plans

**gayforray:** not this one

**grunt:** ex legends are gonna be pissed

**gayforray:** that’s the least of my concerns right now

**darhkling:** we need to get everyone back

**TimeMom:** We need to get our agents back.

**darhkling:** then maybe you shouldn’t’ve GOTTEN ME OUT

**darhkling:** I had my magic, I could’ve ENDED THEM

**Lancelot:** Nora

**Lancelot:** The odds were too low

**QueenZee:** we can’t lose anyone else at this point

**trickstergoddess:** gotta work together, like rayge would want us to

**gayforray:** we need a plant

**grunt:** plant

**gayforray:** plan*

**TimeMom:** What do you propose?

**Lancelot:** Let’s meet in the kitchen and idk, brainstorm

**darhkling:** ok fine

**grunt:** if there’s food

**QueenZee:** I’m with him

**gayforray:** all power’s restored, there will be food

**grunt:** and beer

**Lancelot:** Sure

**Lancelot:** Let’s do a toast to our friends

**darhkling:** not if you keep making it sound like they’re fucking dead

 

* * *

 

**the exes of the ot3: a power group  
2019/04/04**

**animalgirl:** I know this was mostly made for fun, but right now I’m seriously afraid for them.

**hawky:** wow, I forgot this existed

**smoakandmirrors:** how could you

**hawky:** what happened?

**QueenZee:** what happened???? Ray’s still a demon and still escaping us

**QueenZee:** the other ot3 are all dead or captured

**QueenZee:** Nora is losing it cause she couldn’t save them

**QueenZee:** Nate’s the same

**QueenZee:** plus we still have a DRAGON EGG to take care of in all this mess

**hawky:** holy ANUBIS

**smoakandmirrors:** HANG ON WHO’S DEAD?????????????

**animalgirl:** John jumped straight to hell to try and save Ray.

**QueenZee:** so yeah, he’s dead

**QueenZee:** but we trust that he can get his way out in his typical Constantine fashion and save that idiot

**smoakandmirrors:** how does he plan on doing that

**smoakandmirrors:** ik ray’s already almost died once but idk if I can survive this again

**hawky:** this is 1000 times worse than vandal savage

**hawky:** coming from me

**hawky:** and I wouldn’t even get the news weren’t it for the ex-legends group

**QueenZee:** we said we could add you to the big one

**animalgirl:** If only just for lurking.

**QueenZee:** this one knows what she’s talking about

**smoakandmirrors:** what about the others

**QueenZee:** drinking, eating, moping

**QueenZee:** I feel like I should, idk, comfort them but idk how

**QueenZee:** especially Nora

**QueenZee:** I’m halfway through the road to going nuts myself

**hawky:** make sure Gideon is searching for them and bring them some food and mope with them

**smoakandmirrors:** I mean, that worked on laurel?

**animalgirl:** Be with them.

**QueenZee:** yeah

**hawky:** I would do something but idk how I could help with a demon who has Ray’s face

**QueenZee:** you probably couldn’t

**QueenZee:** and that’s the worst thing about this whole neron crap

**QueenZee:** not even a flying goddess can defeat him

**animalgirl:** We defeated Malice with the Totems, maybe we could do the same?

**QueenZee:** he’s not that kind of demon

**hawky:** they said he was made of black smoke?

**QueenZee:** yeah

**QueenZee:** and he won’t let us get him out again

**smoakandmirrors:** what about nora’s magic

**animalgirl:** She’s weak now.

**QueenZee:** yeah, imagine growing in a demon cult and then getting out only to have your boyfriend taken by one and best friend as well

**QueenZee:** and she’s just woken up from a DEMON INDUCED coma a week ago

**QueenZee:** plus Ray’s body would die so we can’t do it before John’s back even if we could

**smoakandmirrors:** ok OK yeah I get it

**smoakandmirrors:** I’m just trying to help

**QueenZee:** sorry

**smoakandmirrors:** it’s fine, ik this is hard for everyone

**smoakandmirrors:** like, we don’t fight demons but the guys we’re dealing with are the next best thing

**hawky:** which guys?

**smoakandmirrors:** the ninth circle

**hawky:** I’ve heard of them

**smoakandmirrors:** you have?

**hawky:** I’m still running my own missions, and you hear things if you know the right people

**hawky:** do you need help with them?

**smoakandmirrors:** actually yes we DO although ollie will never admit it

**QueenZee:** go help them, Kendra

**QueenZee:** we’ll figure this shit out, somehow

**animalgirl:** That witch who used to work with John, what was her name?

**QueenZee:** Zatanna?

**animalgirl:** Maybe she’ll know what to do.

**smoakandmirrors:** that’s actually a good idea

**smoakandmirrors:** seems to me like she knows a lot, maybe she could get the demon out

**QueenZee:** that’s TRUE

**QueenZee:** I’ll talk to her

**QueenZee:** but first we have to find Neray again and that’s hard af cause he keeps getting away with the time stone

**hawky:** steal the time stone

**QueenZee:** yeah but HOW

**smoakandmirrors:** when he took mona and gary, did they have their comms or phones

**QueenZee:** I think so, yeah

**animalgirl:** Then try talking to them. Maybe Neron took them, but it’s worth a shot.

**smoakandmirrors:** definitely

**hawky:** get your friends and kick that ass

**QueenZee:** yeah

**QueenZee:** this really IS a power group, huh

**smoakandmirrors:** YO UBET

 

* * *

 

**the last resistance**

**QueenZee:** so yesterday we had no plan

**QueenZee:** today we might have the seeds of a plan

**gayforray:** you’re really going with the plant thing, huh

**QueenZee:** 🙄

**TimeMom:** What have you got?

**QueenZee:** nothing yet but I talked to that exes group we made once

**QueenZee:** they said we should talk to Zatanna

**grunt:** she’s that witch girl?

**Lancelot:** John’s ex

**darhkling:** why didn’t we think of her sooner

**QueenZee:** cause we’re idiots

**QueenZee:** so yeah I’m doing that

**QueenZee:** you try texting Mona and Gary

**TimeMom:** 👍

**QueenZee:** & about tomorrow’s girls night

**QueenZee:** are we still going or…?

**darhkling:** isn’t that a waste of time we could use to look for them

**trickstergoddess:** god what happened to the procrastinators

**trickstergoddess:** listen to rick and live a little, we cant cancel girls night

**TimeMom:** Charlie’s right.

**Lancelot:** We can’t let the others down

**QueenZee:** yeah

**QueenZee:** so that settles it ig

**TimeMom:** We’re going.

**darhkling:** well it’s your call

**darhkling:** but I’d still rather be here

**Lancelot:** Well too bad, cause we’re drinking and dancing tomorrow

 

* * *

 

**Z + Z + Z**

**zari:** @zatanna

**zari:** you have experience with demons

**zatanna:** yeah

**zed:** so do I

**zari:** and you’ve probably heard about Neron

**zatanna:** what happened

**zari:** John jumped to hell to get Ray’s soul back

**zatanna:** that imbecile

**zed:** he was always too eager to get there

**zatanna:** and you want me to get him out? because that’s not happening

**zatanna:** I’m not doing anything for him anymore

**zari:** yeah I feel you

**zari:** but opening a portal is enough, right? he’ll need that

**zari:** and we’ll need to exorcise Neron from Ray’s body but we’ve got two demons against us now and the only person who could do it isn’t currently strong enough

**zari:** and I think she has ptsd but won’t admit it

**zed:** nora?

**zari:** yeah

**zatanna:** ok

**zatanna:** I’ll see what I can do

**zari:** we really appreciate it

**zatanna:** but I’m doing this for you, not John, you understand?

**zari:** thank you <3

**zed:** I’ll come with you, maybe I can sense something with my powers

**zatanna:** ok

**zari:** can we meet in dc?

**zatanna:** give us a day or two, we’ll be in touch

**zari:** thanks again

**zed:** no problem

**zatanna:** we fight our demons head on


	147. it's finale time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy!

**Z + Z + Z  
2019/04/06**

**zatanna:** we did some research, took a lot of traveling and sacrificed rats

 **zed:** don’t ask

 **zari:** I’m not

 **zari:** so, what have you got

 **zatanna:** opening and stabilizing a portal to hell is really powerful and difficult magic

 **zari:** so I heard

 **zatanna:** but I think I will be able to do it

 **zed:** john did

 **zed:** and I could see how

 **zari:** so great being friends with a psychic

 **zed:** well ;)

 **zatanna:** how’s Nora doing?

 **zari:** better, she’s getting strong again and damn, you should see the rage

 **zari:** this time we can do it, or so help me Allah

 **zatanna:** you didn’t have me before 😉

 **zatanna:** ok then, I can open a portal to DC and meet you there

 **zari:** you know where’s time bureau hq?

 **zatanna:** no but I can find out

 **zari:** great

 **zari:** thank you, guys

 **zed:** no biggie

 **zatanna:** except it is

 

* * *

 

**the last resistance**

**QueenZee:** so

 **QueenZee:** I’m meeting Z &Z near the Bureau and hopefully we’ll get some answers

 **trickstergoddess:** yeah im coming with you darling

 **trickstergoddess:** we can pick up some food and make it a date later, alright :)

 **QueenZee:** ok, yeah, good plan

 **trickstergoddess:** I only have good ideas

 **gayforray:** welllllll

 **trickstergoddess:** april fools day dont count

 **Lancelot:** That’s great, Z

 **TimeMom:** We’ve been thinking about how to get the Bureau back and rescue Mona and Gary.

 **Lancelot:** Instead of the fun stuff, mind ya

 **TimeMom:** I hate that too, but demons before strap ons, am I right.

 **darhkling:** what did you just say

 **QueenZee:** ok yeah I’ll just ignore that

 **grunt:** someone’s frustrated

 **TimeMom:** We haven’t had a decent moment for ourselves for more than a week!

 **Lancelot:** Yeah and then we got too drunk at girls night

 **darhkling:** I still feel that,

 **trickstergoddess:** ya weak

 **QueenZee:** have some of Gideon’s soup

 **darhkling:** it’s just, we have a demon here, kara gets kidnapped by the fucking president, team arrow are fighting this invisible power gang

 **darhkling:** wtf did we do to deserve this

 **Lancelot:** It’s finale time

 **Lancelot:** Lots of drama here

 **gayforray:** yeahhh

 **gayforray:** I miss wally making remarks on that

 **gayforray:** why do we never talk over there anymore

 **QueenZee:** you created this

 **gayforray:** good point

 **QueenZee:** anyhow, we’re on our way

 **darhkling:** I’ll get back to reading john’s books

 **Lancelot:** I wonder how he’s doing

 **trickstergoddess:** if he had his phone itd be easy, we could just ask him, but

 **TimeMom:** There’s coverage in hell?

 **trickstergoddess:** yeah, lucifer had wifi installed before he left

 **trickstergoddess:** but its shite cos its hell, obviously

 **darhkling:** right

 **darhkling:** that makes sense

 **TimeMom:** I can’t imagine what it must be like down there.

 **trickstergoddess:** well, its literally hell down there

 **trickstergoddess:** pun very much intended

 **gayforray:** and I keep forgetting Charlie was actually THERE

 **Lancelot** **:** Dude so was I

 **Lancelot:** John literally introduced us to Lucifer bc of that

 **gayforray:** right

 **gayforray:** AND RAY & JOHN ARE THERE RN

 **trickstergoddess:** the key is not to piss demons off, or, yknow, work with them like I did

 **trickstergoddess:** hated it, but you gotta do what you gotta do to survive

 **trickstergoddess:** but im guessing johno’s a little bit past that

 **QueenZee:** yeah

 **TimeMom:** Are you texting while flying the jumpship?

 **QueenZee:** speech to text

 **gayforray:** gotcha

 **gayforray:** but like, idek what to do anymore??

 **Lancelot:** We gotta do what we do best: wait

 **Lancelot:** Neron will show up eventually

 **Lancelot:** And Aves and I are going in tomorrow, it’s everyone’s day off

 **TimeMom:** Gary’s battery is long dead but we’re assuming they still keep them in the cells, so we can sneak in and get some weapons from the armory, and then, well, it’s MY BUREAU GOD DAMN IT!!!

 **gayforray:** you have access to all the secret passages and shortcuts!

 **TimeMom:** We’re counting on that.

 **darhkling:** I’m going in too

 **darhkling:** mona is my FRIEND

 **Lancelot:** Are you sure

 **QueenZee:** she should go

 **QueenZee:** I mean, we’ll have Z &Z, one’s a witch and another a literal PSYCHIC

 **QueenZee:** meaning BACKUP

 **TimeMom:** Zari’s right.

 **Lancelot:** Yeah, ok, Nora’s on

 **Lancelot:** But Nate and Mick are staying on the ship.

 **grunt:** fine by me

 **gayforray:** I don’t like this but I understand, mom

 **gayforray:** I mean, captain

 **darhkling:** no she’s a mom

 **Lancelot:** I’m a mom

 **gayforray:** this shit isn’t even funny anymore

 **gayforray:** if we do this we’re going to Aruba and NO magic interruptions this time

 **gayforray:** I want at least TWO WEEKS

 **trickstergoddess:** I wasnt there the last time so I agree

 **grunt:** ARUBA

 **TimeMom:** I could use a vacation.

 **Lancelot:** Retweet

 **darhkling:** count my ass in

 **QueenZee:** yeah, it was nice, wasn’t it

 **gayforray:** FUCK YEA

 **gayforray:** ☀️🥥🌴

 **trickstergoddess:** ill give you a better one

 **trickstergoddess:** hawaii

 **Lancelot:** Mama likey

 **grunt:** you mean home of jason momoa

 **grunt:** I wanna go there right now

 **trickstergoddess:** right ;)

 **gayforray:** I’ll take anything chill and tropical

 **darhkling:** YES

 **QueenZee:** inshallah

 **Lancelot:** I’m really pumped rn guys

 **gayforray:** SAME

 **QueenZee:** [ _image attached_ : triplezee.jpeg]

 **gayforray:** triple zee 😂

 **trickstergoddess:** and theyre all friends with john

 **trickstergoddess:** hilarious

 **QueenZee:** we’re gonna have coffee and come back in a few hours

 **Lancelot:** K

 **darhkling:** also I think we’re being summoned

 **gayforray:** ah, speak of the devil

 

* * *

 

**Team Trash Humans**

**notbarryallen:** SO NOW UR IGNORING US,

 **gayforray:** it’s been 3 days

 **Jaxon:** but were CURIOUS

 **animalgirl:** Yeah, we helped you with a plan and you don’t even tell us how’s it going.

 **Lancelot:** We can’t talk about plans here

 **trickstergoddess:** security and shit

 **QueenZee:** but we have one and not to repeat myself for the 512385th time but

 **QueenZee:** this time I feel it

 **darhkling:** this time he won’t get away

 **grunt:** also we were planning a vacation

 **notbarryallen:** where

 **grunt:** aruba or hawaii

 **grunt:** I’m for hawaii

 **notbarryallen:** yeahhhh aruba was nice

 **QueenZee:** up until John came and ruined it

 **gayforray:** but that was technically our fault sooo

 **animalgirl:** For a while I regretted not leaving a few days later…

 **notadick:** you could vacation here ;)

 **gayforray:** TROPICAL, we said TROPICAL

 **Jaxon:** ik we do this a lot but if u do it can we tag along

 **Lancelot:** Sure! We’re always happy to have you!

 **Jaxon:** i mean, ur always be family even if im not there for the adventure anymore

 **gayforray:** we get it, Jax

 **QueenZee:** no one can just leave and stop being a legend

 **gayforray:** we all tried multiple times

 **animalgirl:** Except for me. I did it.

 **QueenZee:** no girl, Kendra did it

 **QueenZee:** you’re in this chat 😉

 **notbarryallen:** it’s the truth ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **animalgirl:** But to be honest, I’m not really _in the chat_.

 **Jaxon:** u lurk like we do 👉👉

 **smartsnart:** you’re worse than me, but still, amaya

 **animalgirl:** Okay, fine.

 **animalgirl:** And since we’re here, I also have news. I didn’t want to say anything because I’ve only found out, but… I’m pregnant.

 **TimeMom:** Congratulations!

 **gayforray:** wow, that’s, that’s nice, Amaya

 **gayforray:** I’m happy for you

 **QueenZee:** so I’m not the only one!

 **animalgirl:** What?

 **QueenZee:** oh nothing it’s just the… dragon

 **QueenZee:** never mind

 **notbarryallen:** it still hasn’t hatched?

 **Lancelot:** Nope

 **Lancelot:** And congrats, Amaya, that’s great!

 **Jaxon:** i mean, we already met ur adult daughter in 92

 **darhkling:** oh god this is like the nora situation

 **darhkling:** I mean nora west-allen heh

 **gayforray:** that’s true lol

 **smartsnart:** time travel

 **notbarryallen:** it still gets weird

 **QueenZee:** yeaH

 **QueenZee:** this sounds like such a cliché but guess who we just saw

 **darhkling:** your mom

 **Lancelot:** No

 **gayforray:** yeS

 **QueenZee:** yea

 **QueenZee:** and I’m here too

 **trickstergoddess:** little zee is SO cute 😍

 **gayforray:** we already saw them once in dc, wow

 **gayforray:** really brings me back

 **QueenZee:** I only told you cause it was funny but shut up now

 **Lancelot:** Ok

 **darhkling:** SO there’s been a lot of kids talk today

 **TimeMom:** Don’t bring that up again.

 **darhkling:** I dindn’t,

 **Lancelot:** Speaking of

 **Lancelot:** I might’ve just gotten us a solution to everything

**gayforray: 👀**

**darhkling: 👀**

**notbarryallen:** 👀

**QueenZee: 👀**

**trickstergoddess:** fucking SPILL


	148. thank you satan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so 14 things from the last 3 chapters of this series happened in the last episode??? i was laughing and screaming the whole time and it took me like an hour to calm down cos. unbelievable. john talking to the devil and him offering him that deal fucked me up the most. (if you didn't read the other fic) you'll see why in a sec
> 
> enjoy!

**Team Trash Humans  
2019/04/06**

**Lancelot:** Sorry, the resistance only

 **notbarryallen:** fuck ok

 **animalgirl:** But you’ll tell us when it’s over?

 **Lancelot:** Promise

 **notbarryallen:** thx

* * *

 

 **the last resistance**  


**Lancelot:** Our solution?

 **Lancelot:** Lucifer Morningstar

 **gayforray:** but he said he couldn’t help…?

 **Lancelot:** Not anymore cause GUESS WUT

 **Lancelot:** We’re not the only ones dealing with demons anymore

 **QueenZee:** how’s that a good thing

 **Lancelot:** Haven’t you been listening he can HELP US

 **Lancelot:** It’s all really easy

 **darhkling:** what do we need to do

 **Lancelot:** Get yo ass to the bridge and you’ll find out 👉👉

 **grunt:** ok

 **gayforray:** coming

 **QueenZee:** yeah lemme grab Z &Z and we’re on our way

 **trickstergoddess:** thank you satan

 

* * *

 

**2019/04/07**

**QueenZee** _added_ **zatannaz** _to_ **the last resistance**

**zatannaz:** is this necessary

 **gayforray:** yeah I mean with the spare comms being broken

 **trickstergoddess:** not my fault

 **grunt:** no ones buying it

 **trickstergoddess:** well I forgot I put them in my pocket last time with all the shit thats been going on

 **TimeMom:** Don’t you check pockets before putting your clothes in the washing machine?

 **trickstergoddess:** there was mud all over those trousers so no I didnt check my POCKETS MUM

 **zatannaz:** you could make more comms

 **QueenZee:** it’s been almost a year and we got used to this, just roll with it

 **Lancelot:** Guys, focus

 **trickstergoddess:** right

 **gayforray:** the ad he’s been broadcasting all over… jfC

 **darhkling:** and calling it the EYES APP

 **darhkling:** the audacity

 **Lancelot:** Dick just said the same thing

 **QueenZee:** you’re on the other chat???

 **trickstergoddess:** 👀

 **darhkling:** and here we GO

 **gayforray:** yeah he’s definitely mocking us, the fucker

 **gayforray:** I want to get this over with as quickly as possible

 **Lancelot:** Luci said he’s busy rn but give him like 2 hours

 **TimeMom:** That still means John and Ray are coming back soon. We just have to catch the bastard.

 **zatannaz:** and get him outta the body, got it

 **Lancelot:** As John would say, easy peasy lemon squeezy

 **zatannaz:** when you have me 😏

 **QueenZee:** yeah, sorry the research you did is for nothing in the end

 **zatannaz:** say that one more time,

 **QueenZee:** message received

 **darhkling:** so I’m in position

 **darhkling:** mona’s still in her cell

 **darhkling:** gary is stalling tabitha and giving her stupid wishes so she wouldn’t kill us

 **Lancelot:** 👍

 **Lancelot:** Ok, get Mona, we’ll handle the witch

 **darhkling:** he’s here

 **darhkling:** I can feel him

 **gayforray:** shit

 **zatannaz:** wait for me

 **TimeMom:** I’m sending Zatanna in, Nora.

 **darhkling:** 👍

 **darhkling:** thankfully he doesn’t know about me

 **gayforray:** now it’s our turn

 **gayforray:** wait Avalance just disappeared?

 **zatannaz:** that would be tabitha

 **QueenZee:** what did Gary do

 **zatannaz:** helped us in his own weird way idiot

 **zatannaz:** also neron knoqs nowelmmfdlf

 **QueenZee:** guys?

 **grunt:** what’s going on

 **gayforray:** 4 of the team are INCAPACITATED THE FUCK

 

 **gayforray** _added_ **holt-the-door** _to_ **the last resistance**

**gayforray:** you at the bureau????

 **holt-the-door:** no i’m on a date OFC IM AT THE BUREAU

 **gayforray:** pull up cctv

 **holt-the-door:** on it

 **QueenZee:** what’s happening

 **holt-the-door:** neray knocked out nora and zatanna and he’s taking mona

 **holt-the-door:** he teleported away

 **holt-the-door:** guessing that’s to palmerx??

 **QueenZee:** we have to go there

 **trickstergoddess:** agreed, babe

 **gayforray:** the 4 of us

 **gayforray:** hope Gary knows what’s he doing

 **holt-the-door:** omg they’re broadcasting it

 **holt-the-door:** is he…???

 **grunt:** making everyone download a stupid app

 **grunt:** why

 **gayforray:** there’s smth behind it

 **QueenZee:** at least now our phones aren’t suspicious

 **gayforray:** lol yeah…

 **gayforray:** fuck

 **trickstergoddess:** fuck that’s mona

 **holt-the-door:** I can see nora in the front row

 **darhkling:** yea im here

 **darhkling:** can sara tell lucifer to hurry uo

 **QueenZee:** she says she can’t

 **MamaWaverider:** Mr Green took everyone here and the fairy bitch is watching everything, but I can do so without being detected.

 **trickstergoddess:** strong words gideon

 **grunt:** knew you had it in you

 **darhkling:** thx gideon

 **trickstergoddess:** so the bureaus empty?

 **holt-the-door:** there are some agents

 **holt-the-door:** they’re all with him cuz they have no idea

 **gayforray:** curtis you’re on that

 **holt-the-door:** woah ok

 **holt-the-door:** do u think they’ll believe me tho

 **QueenZee:** show them the camera footage from the cell

 **holt-the-door:** excellent idea

 **MamaWaverider:** He says he will need another hour at least because he’s, well, saying goodbye to his partner.

 **trickstergoddess:** so he’s banging her

 **QueenZee:** fucking perfect

 **grunt:** literally

 **holt-the-door:** lmao ok that’s actually funny

 **Lancelot:** Ok so there was a bones alert and we’re heading to England but it’s distracting Tabitha enough not to mind us

 **Lancelot:** She can probably teleport through time but it’s worth a shot

 **gayforray:** noice

 **QueenZee:** in the meantime he’s pushing Mona to wolf out

 **gayforray:** aaaaand it’s happening

 **darhkling:** fucK

 **zatannaz:** I’m awake where IS HE

 **gayforray:** PalmerX

 **zatannaz:** omw

 **holt-the-door:** ok so #eyesapp is already trending

 **holt-the-door:** hey is it named that cuz ur the eyes emoji squad

 **trickstergoddess:** course it bloody is

 **trickstergoddess:** but were stronger than this

 **QueenZee:** Zatanna is here

 **gayforray:** wait till this is over and grab him in the backstage, we don’t need this kind of scandal

 **Lancelot:** Yeah, like Kara’s clone

 **Lancelot:** The whole e-38 thinks she’s dead now

 **gayforray:** yeah that ^^

 **zatannaz:** copy

 **zatannaz:** be ready to attack, Nora

 **darhkling:** he’ll drag me there himself and u bet I’ll be ready

 **trickstergoddess:** looks like hes done with his speech

 **holt-the-door:** does he have mona

 **darhkling:** yeah

 **darhkling:** fuck my blood is boiling

 **Lancelot:** Gals

 **Lancelot:** This will be hard but I need to you to restrain him and keep him alive until Luci gives us the go ahead

 **zatannaz:** we’ll do what we can

 **Lancelot:** We’re heading out on this easy mission now, Tabitha’s still here

 **Lancelot:** I won’t be able to talk anymore so gl

 **holt-the-door:** guys he’s leaving go there NOW

 **gayforray:** weare

 **grunt:** he has darhk

 **zatannaz:** SHIT IT’S TOO LATE GOD FUCKING DAMMIT

 **holt-the-door:** yah

 **holt-the-door:** he’s here

 **holt-the-door:** anyone got a courier

 **gayforray:** no

 **gayforray:** I’m not wearing my uniform,,, adkfmff

 **QueenZee:** we’ll steal a car and you stay hidden

 **holt-the-door:** the agents know now tho so that’s good, rite

 **gayforray:** don’t do anything till we arrive and that’s an order I OWN THE BUREAU I HAVE AUTHORITY

 **holt-the-door:** yea no I would’ve listened anyway I don’t have my t spheres

 **gayforray:** balls

 **holt-the-door:** shut ip

 **holt-the-door:** it sounds like.., he’s planning a monster attack?

 **zatannaz:** you have them in the cells, yeah

 **holt-the-door:** yeah

 **holt-the-door:** r u thinking what I’m thinking

 **QueenZee:** we have to get the creatures out

 **TimeMom:** So, Tabitha just left. We were right.

 **QueenZee:** but that means you’re alone on the ship

 **QueenZee:** can you do smth

 **TimeMom:** We have to catch a fairy, but we’re also briefing Gary on the plan.

 **Lancelot:** That’s the mission

 **Lancelot:** But it’s a time ship so we’ll be at the Bureau in no time

 **darhkling:** we’re alone with mona

 **darhkling:** she’s injured

 **darhkling:** tabitha put us in one cell cause apparently?? she wants to help me cause I’m a fellow witch??

 **darhkling:** oh if she had any idea

 **QueenZee:** ok but that’s good

 **gayforray:** Mick’s driving isn’t btw

 **Lancelot:** You rly stole a car

 **QueenZee:** what other options were there?? JOGGING?

 **holt-the-door:** she’s right

 **trickstergoddess:** also were looking into the app

 **trickstergoddess:** and guess what, the terms  & conditions have a catch

 **QueenZee:** if you agree to them, you sell your soul to Neron

 **TimeMom:** Right, yeah, because no one reads those.

 **darhkling:** awesome

 **holt-the-door:** he said only 2k ppl downloaded it so far

 **holt-the-door:** we still have time

 **gayforray:** ok we’re here

 **Lancelot:** And we’re done

 **Lancelot:** Really was easy

 **TimeMom:** So we’re on our way too.

 **zatannaz:** where is he @ Curtis

 **holt-the-door:** monitor room

 **holt-the-door:** I’ll hack the cells but the moment I do it there will be an alarm

 **holt-the-door:** so y’all better get here fast

 **darhkling:** I’m ready at the door

 **darhkling:** come and save mona or I’ll kill you myself

 **gayforray:** entering the building

 **Lancelot:** Landing in covert mode

 **holt-the-door:** 3

 **holt-the-door:** 2

 **holt-the-door:** 1

 **holt-the-door:** he real pissed guys

 **trickstergoddess:** ava opened a portal on the ship and theyre running

 **trickstergoddess:** im gonna go get mona

 **Lancelot:** Gary’s just ordered Tabitha to go to hell so she’s outta the picture

 **Lancelot:** Luci will get rid of her this time I hope 😅

 **holt-the-door:** [ _video attached_ : witchpower.mp4]

 **grunt:** get him

 **Lancelot:** TO THE BRIG

 **holt-the-door:** I’ll just yell that at em

 **holt-the-door:** also. nate’s holding him now and that’,,, hot

 **grunt:** video

 **Lancelot:** MICK

 **grunt:** what

 **holt-the-door:** [ _video attached_ : power.mp4]

 **trickstergoddess:** no its true

 **grunt:** nice

 **trickstergoddess:** and I have mona & I need to get her to medbay

 **Lancelot:** We’ll get a bed ready

 **Lancelot:** Gary’s devastated about her and… yeah

 **grunt:** I’m headin gto the ship too

 **holt-the-door:** looks like so are they

 **holt-the-door:** [ _video attached_ : demondown.mp4]

 **Lancelot:** !!!!!!

 **TimeMom:** Did we… really do this?

 **trickstergoddess:** we bloody did it

 **Lancelot:** WE BLOODY DID IT

 **trickstergoddess:** and youre brave for filming it, mate

 **holt-the-door:** after the shit ive been through w team arrow

 **grunt:** this calls for a party

 **TimeMom:** We haven’t done one of those in ages.

 **gayforray:** no

 **gayforray:** after we get Ray back

 **gayforray:** then we’ll have done it

 **trickstergoddess:** youre right

 **QueenZee:** yeah

 **QueenZee:** it’s not 100% over yet

 **gayforray:** but yay teamwork !

 **holt-the-door:** it was all like the scene from infinity war

 **holt-the-door:** u know the one

 **gayforray:** yeah I held him down with my steel hands and Zari was just!!! wind!!! I’ll swipe yo ass down till you’ll cry!!!!

 **QueenZee:** I didn’t say that but ok 😂

 **gayforray:** and he couldn’t resist two STREAMS O MAGIC from those two witches!!!1! and the gunfire from like, 10 agents!!!

 **gayforray:** thank god that didn’t hurt the body hehe,

 **Lancelot:** Yeah that would suck ass

 **trickstergoddess:** thats a nice way to put it

 **zatannaz:** so the fucker’s in the brig

 **zatannaz:** he’ll wake up in a minute so I’ll stay here and watch him

 **darhkling:** where’s everyone else at

 **gayforray:** lab

 **darhkling:** I’m coming

 **Lancelot:** I’ll leave Mona to Gary

 **grunt:** so charlie n zari are making out and that’s also hot

 **Lancelot:** MICK

 **TimeMom:** We have to celebrate somehow, so 👀

 **Lancelot:** Ooh, Ava 👀

 **TimeMom:** <3

 **zatannaz:** is everyone being all romantic right now

 **zatannaz:** when there’s a literal demon on this ship

 **grunt:** yeah

 **zatannaz:** I see why everyone says what they say about the legends now

 **gayforray:** and what does that mean, exactly

 **zatannaz:** oh nothing have fun

 **Lancelot:** But we still gotta wait for the devil to do his work

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is where i say fuck canon and make the changes less subtle lmao
> 
> if you want to know more about the whole lucifer plan (which, i remind you, i wrote BEFORE the episode aired and it almost actually happened as MY WAY OUT cos the legends know him and coincidentally he went back to hell in 4x10, so it FIT, but no they made it C A N O N. it's the funniest thing of the century and i'll NEVER get over it), [read](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17384027/chapters/44649358#workskin) chapters 54 & 55 of the leaders chat, which are companion pieces to chapters 147 & 148


	149. so the world knows now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, this is sort of a wrap on the season! "sort of" being the keyword. enjoy!

**the last resistance  
2019/04/07**

**holt-the-door:** guys can I come to the party I feel like I should

 **QueenZee:** mood

 **TimeMom:** Go ahead, we’re having some food.

 **gayforray:** can’t be legends without food,

 **zatannaz:** bring me some

 **QueenZee:** ok

 **zatannaz:** and tell Lucy to move his ass

**lucinda** _joined_ **the last resistance**

**lucinda:** has someone called

 **gayforray:** wow

 **gayforray:** how didja know

 **darhkling:** hello again

 **Lancelot:** (I called but shh)

 **lucinda:** john’s here with me, he found me himself

 **trickstergoddess:** thats great!!!

 **lucinda:** I pulled raymond from the soul traders’ sector so I have both gentlemen ready to go

 **lucinda:** [ _image attached_ : itsaparty.jpeg]

 **gayforray:** god I wanna kiss you

 **gayforray:** *not god my mistake

 **lucinda:** if you come down here

 **gayforray:** no thanks getting OUT of there is sort of the point here

 **zatannaz:** an exorcism before dinner, that’s just great

 **zatannaz:** but we’ll do it so are you ready @ Nora

 **darhkling:** yes

 **holt-the-door:** u know u can just, @ someone for real @zatannaz

 **zatannaz:** I don’t care, I have a pissed demon to deal with

 **holt-the-door:** yea right

 **holt-the-door:** I’m omw btw

 **lucinda:** You really caught the bastard? I almost lost hope in ya

 **Lancelot:** Hey John

 **Lancelot:** It’s almost unbelievable at this point right??

 **gayforray:** ow c’mon

 **gayforray:** we’re great

 **lucinda:** Well, you did do it without me

 **zatannaz:** I’m better than you, so

 **lucinda:** Long time no see, Z

 **gayforray:** lol that rhymes

 **darhkling:** …

 **zatannaz:** we saw each other at the movie teehee

 **lucinda:** This is Ray and will you please MOVE ON? I hate it here! So many bad people!

 **gayforray:** R AY BABE OM G  <33333333333

 **gayforray:** I hope you know we always fought for u no matter what

 **darhkling:** otherwise the demon would be pushing daisies a month ago

 **lucinda:** Good to know…

 **darhkling:** just kidding, we love you  <3

 **gayforray:** can’t wait to have you back in this body,

 **zatannaz:** speaking of, we’re doing this now

 **lucinda:** Great! I’ll hand over the phone now. See you in a minute!  <3

 **lucinda:** as much as I’d love to hear more

 **lucinda:** do actually move on

 **lucinda:** I have urgent business to take care of, rogue demons, souls on the run,

 **Lancelot:** So exorcise first, then you’ll return the soul?

 **lucinda:** yes, the body has to be empty

 **darhkling:** 👍

 **gayforray:** [ _video attached_ : byebyeneron.mp4]

 **lucinda:** believe me, hell is looking forward to seeing him

 **lucinda:** here you go, they should be back now

 **darhkling:** yes!!!!! he’s woken up!!!!!

 **gayforray:** idk what to do to thank you

 **lucinda:** we’re even

 **Lancelot:** But Luci

 **Lancelot:** Neron’s plan wasn’t to conquer earth, it was to conquer hell

 **QueenZee:** read up and you’ll see

 **lucinda:** a demon can’t physically sit on the throne

 **lucinda:** daddy dearest made it so

 **grunt:** so what was his plan

 **TimeMom:** Maybe he thought that with enough souls, other demons would what, support him and somehow make it happen?

 **lucinda:** he is deranged if he thinks that’s possible

 **QueenZee:** so that’s… great?

 **Lancelot:** But we still have a tiny problem

 **Lancelot:** The world knows about the creatures now

 **Lancelot:** And the app still exists

 **holt-the-door:** I’ll get in touch with felicity and we’ll deal with that

 **QueenZee:** I’ll help

 **QueenZee:** sometimes all you need is a hacker

 **lucinda:** you should put that on a t-shirt

 **darhkling:** as for the creatures

 **darhkling:** didn’t someone say smth about a theme park 👀

 **gayforray:** we can show ppl they aren’t all evil

 **gayforray:** that they don’t need to be afraid of them

 **Lancelot:** Yeah, it’s too late to erase people’s memories now

 **lucinda:** beatrice would love a supernatural theme park I’m sure

 **QueenZee:** right?

 **darhkling:** guys let’s switch to the main chat

 **lucinda:** well, bi-bi for now 😉

 **gayforray:** ha cleVER

 **Lancelot:** That’s our line

 

* * *

 

**Team Trash Humans**

**darhkling:** so @everyone who’s not in the know

 **notbarryallen:** did u do it????

 **notadick:** it feels longer than a day adkflmled

 **animalgirl:** Is he dead?

 **Jaxon:** what did u do

 **monalisa:** did we win

 **darhkling:** yes

 **Lancelot:** WE WON

 **notbarryallen:** sry for asking the obvious but HOW

 **trickstergoddess:** lucifer

 **QueenZee:** it’s a rather long story

 **Trenchcoat:** So basically he returned to hell for Reasons, which I didn’t even know about till I heard from a demon, I found him and he brought us back

 **Lancelot:** But it was actually our plan all along

 **Lancelot:** John finding him too was a coincidence 😂😂😂

 **Trenchcoat:** So he said

 **animalgirl:** Is Ray all right???

 **gayforray:** oh wait didn’t we remove him

 

 **TimeMom** _added_ **rayofsunshine** _and_ **gare-bear** _to_ **Team Trash Humans**

**notbarryallen:** welcome back, man ヽ(＾Д＾)ﾉ

 **Jaxon:** u survived !

 **animalgirl:** Thank god you’re alive.

 **Lancelot:** More like thank his son but k

 **rayofsunshine:** I’m literally in the same room as everyone else but hi people, it’s great to be back!

 **rayofsunshine:** Any idea why is my chest sore?

 **holt-the-door:** that’s probably the bullets

 **rayofsunshine:** Someone was shooting at me?

 **TimeMom:** My agents.

 **rayofsunshine:** Yeah, that makes sense. Also I’m hungry ://

 **darhkling:** we were having dinner before let’s CONTINUE

 **rayofsunshine:** I need to hear everything that happened.

 **gayforray:** babe samE

 **QueenZee:** read the chat

 **QueenZee:** we’ll tell you the rest

 **rayofsunshine:** I’m glad you got me before I missed any movies.

 **trickstergoddess:** THATS your concern

 **gayforray:** u know Ray

 **monalisa:** gah we missed him

 **TimeMom:** And what about you, are you all right?

 **monalisa:** yeahh it’s gonna be fine

 **monalisa:** gideon is patching me up  & gary’s with me ❤️

 **gare-bear:** I am

 **gare-bear:** I’m sorry about bringing you on the ship @Lancelot @TimeMom

 **gare-bear:** But I was buying you time you know that right????

 **Lancelot:** You already told us, Gary

 **gare-bear:** Not the others,

 **QueenZee:** thanks, Gary, you saved us

 **gayforray:** if you didn’t send the godmother away

 **rayofsunshine:** I really need to read up on this.

 **TimeMom:** Sorry if we ever made fun of you or didn’t appreciate you enough at work, Gary. You’re a great agent.

 **Trenchcoat:** And not just that 😉

 **grunt:** so are u coming to eat or not

 **darhkling:** yea yea

 **Lancelot:** We also need to discuss the creature problem

 **notbarryallen:**????

 **QueenZee:** all the creatures from the bureau are in the lab

 **Jaxon:** why

 **QueenZee:** another long story

 **notadick:** 👀

 **trickstergoddess:** so looks like well be opening the theme park,

 **gayforray:** I’ll get right on that

 **gayforray:** tomorrow

 **notbarryallen:** are you serious

 **Jaxon:** ?

 **TimeMom:** I’m afraid so.

 **darhkling:** you didn’t hear the news

 **notbarryallen:** nope

 **notadick:** no wifi or tv here, remember

 **darhkling:** ah

 **darhkling:** so the world knows now

 **animalgirl:** Oh hell.

 **gayforray:** yup

 **gayforray:** and ALSO

 **gayforray:** THE DRAGON JUST HATCHED GUYS!!!!!!!

 **notbarryallen:** it did????

 **notbarryallen:** phoTO

 **MiniStein:** I have to see!

 **darhkling:** look who showed up

 **monalisa:** I forgot u were here laslkfgsf

 **MiniStein:** I have it on mute cause I have too much work, and Ronnie just turned one…

 **Lancelot:** You didn’t REMIND US

 **MiniStein:** I am now?

 **Jaxon:** i knew

 **gayforray:** ofc you did

 **rayofsunshine:** Tell him we wish him a happy birthday!

 **MiniStein:** I will

 **QueenZee:** [ _image attached_ : wicksty.jpeg]

 **grunt:** beautiful

 **notbarryallen:** he’s green 🐉

 **gare-bear:** What if it’s a girl

 **gayforray:** shit I haven’t thought of that

 **notadick:** heheh

 **Lancelot:** Gideon says he’s a boy

 **Lancelot:** Jeez it’s really like we had a baby

 **QueenZee:** we do

 **grunt:** a dragon baby

 **notbarryallen:** you mean another*

 **Lancelot:** I’m sending the photo to Damian 😁😁

 **darhkling:** don’t forget lucifer

 **Lancelot:**  😏

 

* * *

 

**the last resistance**

**Lancelot:** [ _image attached_ : wicksty.jpeg]

 **Lancelot:** @zatannaz @holt-the-door @lucinda

 **holt-the-door:** is that anoTEHR DRAGON

 **zatannaz:** can I hold him

 **grunt:** me first

 **trickstergoddess:** will you ever stop

 **grunt:** no

 **lucinda:** can i have this one? you have enough dragons already

 **grunt:** no

 **QueenZee:** no

 **gayforray:** he’s ours

 **lucinda:** the injustice

 **Lancelot:** If there’s a fourth one we’ll call you

 **lucinda:** very funny, y’all know there won’t be

 **Lancelot:** Heh

 **Lancelot:** For realz though, will you ever get over it

 **lucinda:** probably not, why

 **darhkling:** mood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't worry, the finale is still happening here, just without the neron problem hehe
> 
> but. i have exams next week and i really need to focus on that so this is the last chapter till (probably) WEDNESDAY (meaning the next one will be the finale). but it's not like it's the first time lmao you'll live
> 
> and please leave a comment <3


	150. wibbly wobbly timey wimey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so the finale was quite something!!! but lucky for all of us, i can ignore 90% of it here, and i WILL ignore 90% of it here. canon who?
> 
> enjoy!

**2019/04/12  
4:26 pm**

**gayforray:** ‘tis opening day!!!!

 **monalisa:** yayyyyy

 **QueenZee:** I really hope this works

 **Trenchcoat:** I still think it’s the worst bloody idea ever but knock yourselves out

 **gayforray:** oh no you’re starring in the show

 **Trenchcoat:** Like hell I am

 **rayofsunshine:** Hah 😂

 **darhkling:** ppl need to see magic!!

 **Trenchcoat:** You have magic

 **darhkling:** the point

 **Lancelot:** The more the merrier?

 **Lancelot:** C’mon guys, it’s just a lil bit of acting

 **trickstergoddess:** with magical creatures

 **grunt:** we’re not actors

 **gayforray:** on this earth 👉👉

 **gayforray:** well idk how about u but i sure am excited!!!!

 **notbarryallen:** wooooo

 **notbarryallen:** fingers crossed

 **notadick:** and someone film it pls

 **QueenZee:** of course 😉

 **darhkling:** how’s wicksty

 **QueenZee:** he’s so cute like omg I’m feeling emotions here

 **rayofsunshine:** Maybe it’s the new timeline leaking?

 **QueenZee:** 😒

 **notbarryallen:** new timeline 👀

 **QueenZee:** yeahhhh

 **QueenZee:** remember when my memories changed when we decided we’d open the park

 **QueenZee:** turns out opening it will cause the anti meta act not to come into place

 **QueenZee:** it will completely rewrite my timeline and my fam will never have died

 **animalgirl:** Wait, isn’t your existence about to change too?

 **QueenZee:** I’m safe on the ship and I’m not planning on leaving

 **gayforray:** I mean Z will never have joined us but if she’s in the time vortex we’ll remember her and the old timeline and it’ll all be chill

 **gayforray:** wibbly wobbly timey wimey amirite

 **monalisa:** jeremy bearimy

 **gayforray:** !!!

 **darhkling:** I miss tgp

 **monalisa:** same

 **notadick:** SAME

 **notbarryallen:** oh if barry could hear u now

 **gayforray:** wdym

 **Lancelot:** 😅

 **notbarryallen:** doN’t gO chAnGinG tHe TImeLiNe wHen U dOn’T UndErsTaNd tImE trAveL

 **trickstergoddess:** who says we understand it tho

 **TimeMom:** …

 **TimeMom:** I’d say I do but I’d be lying.

 **darhkling:** mood

 **Lancelot:** Aves???

 **TimeMom:** What

 **Lancelot:** I love u so much

 **TimeMom:** 💙💜💚

 **notbarryallen:** speaking of love

 **notbarryallen:** how are y’all handling this 👀

 **darhkling:** ?

 **notbarryallen:** you fucking won!!!

 **notbarryallen:** you gotta throw that party and get drunk and make out ;)

 **Lancelot:** Girls night is on tonight ;)))

 **gayforray:** wb the party

 **QueenZee:** 🤔

 **grunt:** tomorrow

 **monalisa:** are u kidding two nights in a row???

 **Trenchcoat:** Please

 **trickstergoddess:** youre drinking all the time

 **grunt:** I still need to outdrink the ogre

 **animalgirl:** ?

 **Lancelot:** [ _video attached_ : competition.mp4]

 **darhkling:** u got it on video

 **Lancelot:** Yup

 **gayforray:** oh wow

 **notbarryallen:** mick that’s impossible u gotta beat him

 **Lancelot:** Remember when Diana and Lucifer did that

 **rayofsunshine:** Did what?

 **gayforray:** oh babe

 **gayforray:** you missed a lot huh

 **rayofsunshine:** Yeah……

 **darhkling:** they had a drinking competition

 **darhkling:** with alien alcohol

 **darhkling:** she won

 **rayofsunshine:** Nice!

 **notbarryallen:** you never even told us anything

 **notbarryallen:** the last time we talked was SUNDAY how could u let this happen

 **QueenZee:** we were busy with the park and our dragon…?

 **Lancelot:** You were in the og arrowverse chat Wally u know what happened

 **notadick:** but not me

 **darhkling:** he could’ve told u

 **notadick:** he did

 **gayforray:** it’s not like?? we’re obligated to talk here???

 **notbarryallen:** no but we DO

 **rayofsunshine:** My absence probably changed a lot of things…

 **gayforray:** no it was ur return that forced us to be normal human beings and talk irl

 **Trenchcoat:** It’s too much though

 **Trenchcoat:** Spending all the time with the team, disgusting

 **monalisa:** aww johnny no

 **monalisa:** it’s socialization

 **notadick:** it’s good for ur health

 **darhkling:** says the guy who removed himself from civilization

 **notadick:** yea but with my bf

 **notbarryallen:** me!!!

 **Lancelot:** We know

 **gayforray:** lmao

 **notadick:** I kinda missed this

 **QueenZee:** ok we promise we’ll talk again, happy

 **QueenZee:** but it’s not like we didn’t open this for a week when Ray first made it

 **rayofsunshine:** Sometimes I still regret it but other times I really don’t 😁

 **rayofsunshine:** Oh and since we’re here, guess who I met in hell!

 **notadick:** 👀

 **animalgirl:** Who

 **grunt:** hitler?

 **rayofsunshine:** Vandal Savage!

 **Lancelot:** Motherfucker!

 **notbarryallen:** wow ok

 **animalgirl:** You didn’t know either?

 **gayforray:** Nor and I did

 **QueenZee:** he didn’t talk about hell and we didn’t push him to

 **Lancelot:** Speaking from experience here

 **Lancelot:** Twice

 **gayforray:** lol did you start that club

 **Lancelot:** Thea said no

 **gayforray:** since when do u listen to anyone

 **gayforray:** but Ava

 **TimeMom:** No that’s true.

 **Lancelot:** Guys shut up

 **rayofsunshine:** But it’s not a bad idea, we could sit in a circle, talk about our hell experiences and eat cookies on Tuesdays!

 **darhkling:** the jesus club

 **notbarryallen:** lmaooo

 **rayofsunshine:** So anyway. They sent Vandal there to torture me, guess you can guess why, but we got to talking and played Jenga! It was great!

 **rayofsunshine:** The demons and other bad people were less great, but…

 **Trenchcoat:** What????

 **Lancelot:** Are u kidding me

 **QueenZee:** only Ray Palmer

 **monalisa:** actual ray of sunshine!!!!

 **trickstergoddess:** big mood

 **grunt:** the fuck

 **grunt:** we fought him for a year

 **rayofsunshine:** He said the same thing! It was funny, and weird, but mostly funny.

 **animalgirl:** Omg.

 **rayofsunshine:** So that’s that. Yeah 😁

 **gayforray:** and we kinda have to go now

 **darhkling:** do I HAVE TO put on the fairy godmother costume

 **trickstergoddess:** yeah love it’s a part of the show 😉

 **darhkling:** I hate this

 **darhkling:** I rly hate this

 **rayofsunshine:** You’ll be great!!!

 **gayforray:** the atom, steel and a fairy godmother against a tiny dragon baby!

 **Lancelot:** You forgot someone,

 **gayforray:** *the atom, steel, white canary and a fairy godmother

 **monalisa:** ot4

 **darhkling:** go to hell

 **rayofsunshine:** Anyone else think it’s funnier saying that now?

 **Lancelot:** 😂

 **darhkling:** go talk to lucinda

 **notbarryallen:** :o

 **notadick:** yea he’s wheezing

 **notbarryallen:** amnot

 **notadick:** liar

 **QueenZee:** [ _image attached_ : bluefairy.jpeg]

 **darhkling:** ZARI

 **animalgirl:** Looking good!

 **Lancelot:** Disney princess 👸🏻

 **darhkling:** I WILL murder you

 **monalisa:** no time for that now lets go guys

 **notbarryallen:** 👍

 **animalgirl:** Show the world that the creatures aren’t monsters!

 **notbarryallen:** and that not just got has dragons

 **gayforray:** that’s the mission lmao

 **QueenZee:** don’t screw up the timeline too much yeah?

 **Lancelot:** We can try 😅

 **gare-bear:** I give to you

 **gare-bear:** Gary the Showman

 **gare-bear:** [ _image attached_ : dashing.jpeg]

 **monalisa:** woW

 **Trenchcoat:** I’m having some ideas that I’ll save for later

 **gare-bear:** I counted on that 😉

 **TimeMom:** Confident Gary is strange…

 **TimeMom:** But I like him!

 **Lancelot:** Yeah

 **monalisa:** not more than us 👀

 **notbarryallen:** we know we’ve rly thrown the last fuck into the time vortex cause no one’s even commenting on that and that’s the tea

 **QueenZee:** haha

 **QueenZee:** yeah

 **gayforray:** but don’t think for a sec that we’ve grown up

 **Lancelot:** No that’s impossible

 **gayforray:** [ _image attached_ : heyworld.jpeg]

 **darhkling:** hey world!!! come see our awesome show with a singing ogre!!!

 **notadick:** you can feel the sarcasm there

 **darhkling:** lol

 **darhkling:** but I also mean it

 **rayofsunshine:** Let’s do this!

 

* * *

 

**6:09 pm**

**monalisa:** [ _video attached_ : magicalmusical.mp4]

 **notbarryallen:** coooool

 **QueenZee:** I’m proud of you

 **QueenZee:** and Wicksty

 **Lancelot:** It was awesome

 **gayforray:** and we all have Charlie and Mona to thank for that, so give em some love!!!

 **QueenZee:** I’m sure that’ll happen later

 **darhkling:** zari???

 **notbarryallen:** wow u go girl

 **trickstergoddess:** should I count on that 👀

 **QueenZee:** 😉

 **Lancelot:** OkaY

 **Trenchcoat:** Let’s not forget about Gary

 **TimeMom:** Everyone was amazing ❤️

 **Lancelot:** Yeah!!!

 **Lancelot:** But does anyone have this sort of a headache

 **gayforray:** it’s right at the back of your head, isn’t it

 **TimeMom:** I feel it too…

 **rayofsunshine:** Same.

 **darhkling:** it’s like??? there are memories I didn’t have??

 **QueenZee:** oh yea now you know how that feels

 **QueenZee:** but I don’t feel anything?

 **radtomaz:** me neither

 **QueenZee:** wait

 **QueenZee:** Behrad?????

 **radtomaz:** zari????

 **QueenZee:** you’re not dead?

 **radtomaz:** you didn’t stay in 2042?

 **QueenZee:** and you’re a legend

 **radtomaz:** and youre a legend

 **QueenZee:** and you’re in the chat

 **radtomaz:** and youre in the chat?

 **radtomaz:** wdym I’ve been here the whole time

 **QueenZee:** so have I???

 **QueenZee:** WHAT

 **radtomaz:** WHAT

 **notbarryallen:** WHAAAAAAATTTTTTT

 **Lancelot:** So ig we did screw up the timeline,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **THIS IS THE END OF THE ORIGINAL TIMELINE.**
> 
> with what happened in the finale, seasons 3 & 4 are erased and rewritten, like many seasons of the flash. what you read up until now isn't real anymore. it's rewritten too. all of arrowverse is now rewritten. the flash timeline in 2049 has been rewritten twice. crisis will change more stuff. it's gonna be one hell of a mess.
> 
> so. the fic stays as it was, obviously, but there are three timelines now: the one with zari, another one with behrad, and the mashed-up one with both. imagine it like this: when ray created the chat, he didn't just add ZTomaz but also BTomaz, and there are lines from someone who's never been there before but at the same time he's ALWAYS been there. wibbly wobbly timey wimey!!!
> 
> **please give me some love in comments uwu <3**


	151. [interlude] brother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i actually wrote 4 chapters yesterday!!! it's so great being on a school hiatus (or, well, holidays i guess 😅)
> 
> so, here's an interlude to the last chapter! enjoy :)

‘The team are back, Miss Tomaz.’

Zari’s heart was running wild. She couldn’t even believe what has just happened—she’d had a conversation with Behrad, her brother who was dead but wasn’t anymore because her loophole programme actually _worked_. Her brother, whom she was about to see after _years_.

She skimmed over the chat one more time.

‘I’m coming to the bridge,’ she said over the comms. Cheers and whoops came in reply. She broke into a run. A grin grew wide on her face, and then an unadulterated laugh.

They pulled this off! In their impossible, wack, improvised Legends way, they saved the world from the demons and gave people love instead of fear, and _saved_ her _family_.

They gave them a better future.

The timeline—it was going to be all sorts of messy, that was for sure. He wasn’t supposed to be _here_ , on the ship. He _wasn’t_. But the universe made it so, and Behrad was a _Legend_! So the timeline can go screw itself.

‘Hey, Zari!’ Sara shouted, strutting onto the bridge in true victorious fashion. ‘You mightn’t’ve been there, but mini Zari and her mum were! Nate saw you in the audience…’

She didn’t pay attention to her.

She saw _him_. Behrad was on the tail of the group, messy hair, untrimmed beard, beige jacket—she could recognise him anywhere. And she ran again, pushing her way between Mick and John until she wrapped her arms around him and dropped a tear on that jacket.

‘It’s really you. You’re here.’ Her voice trembled. Behrad’s hands enveloped her in a tight hug and then let go. He looked at her and searched for something he couldn’t find.

‘Yeah, I’m here!’ he laughed. ‘And I guess we have a lot of catching up to do?’

‘Yeah, we definitely do,’ she said. ‘I still can’t believe this, Behrad. You’re on the team!’

‘And _you’re_ on the team, Zari, wow. Not where I come from.’

‘Can we, erm, maybe move to the kitchen to talk?’

‘Sure, yeah! I could go with a bite.’ Behrad moved in the direction of the galley like he knew exactly where it was. No: he _did_ know where it was.

This would take a lot of getting used to.

Zari followed him and sent a soft smile Charlie’s way. They needed to talk as well, but that would have to wait for now. They responded with a nod and carried on with a conversation they’ve been having with Mona and Mick.

The others were slowly dispersing and excitedly chatting about their mission. Zari didn’t care that she missed that (well, she _had_ seen the show as a child). She didn’t care that somewhere along the way, Wicksty clumsily landed on her shoulder and joined them. She only cared to talk to her brother.

Who exclaimed, ‘It’s baby Mithra!’

‘Is that what he was called in your timeline?’ she asked.

‘You named him that,’ he smiled again. Zari couldn’t wait to hear more.

(But she was afraid, too.)

They arrived in the kitchen and Behrad went straight for the fabricator. She knew exactly what he’d ask for, so she said, ‘Make it double,’ and pulled up a chair. She checked the chat for updates in the meantime. There were none.

However, there _was_ something. It was different. She didn’t know what, at first, but then it hit her.

The timeline was already rewriting itself, and the nicknames they had with it.

Behrad came to the table and sat down with their food. Mithra hopped on the table and sniffed the plate, and then it hit her again, a flash. A memory. One she didn’t have before.

It was her, ten-year-old Behrad, and her parents visiting the Flash Museum. The year was 2029, but instead of the anti-metahuman act, there was a news report on a female Green Lantern, Superboy, and someone named Green Dragon fittingly riding a dragon who could be no one but Damian Wayne’s Fury saving New York from some sort of a ninja attack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (the other fic has a future gen chat from 2049 soooo it's not really spoilers when i say trixie decker is the green lantern, jon kent is superboy and damian is a hero named green dragon (cos no way he's turning evil in my verse) after he quits being robin)
> 
> (also both dragon parents are arab and that makes me really happy!!!)


	152. you're my best bro #3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if this is... chaotic. i tried. if u wanna see sara explain how the legends fucked up the timeline to the rest of arrowverse, read the chapter 59 of the other fic :)
> 
> enjoy & pls review!!! comments give me life <3

**2019/04/13  
1:57 pm**

**notadick:** so wtf is going on?????

 **animalgirl:** I guess everything is different now…

 **notkanye:** pls explain

 **notkanye:** my head is a mess of incompatible memories

 **gayforray:** and u think we’re better off?

 **lancelot:** they said I used to use caps!

 **lancelot:** kara has screenshots!

 **darhkling:** that would be weird tbh

 **timemom:** Yeah! Your grammar’s always been infuriating

 **lancelot:** thanks babe 😉

 **thebettertomaz:** I’m sorry, this is my fault

 **rayofsunshine:** It isn’t. It’s Neron’s fault.

 **radtomaz:** I still don’t remember it but I was dead and now I’m not and that’s def a good thing

 **gayforray:** it is!

 **gayforray:** you’re my best bro #3

 **gayforray:** the messy timeline is stupid tho

 **radtomaz:** #3?

 **notkanye:** u know, u, zari, me

 **notkanye:** and idk how I know this but I do

 **notadick:** I met u guys like twice so I’m fine? but I’m pretty sure none of the others are heh

 **thebettertomaz:** for starters, Wally’s name was notbarryallen, not notkanye

 **notkanye:** ik

 **notkanye:** I remember

 **notkanye:** but this one’s better lmao

 **radtomaz:** yeah I gave you that nick

 **radtomaz:** tho seeing zari as a legend with my totem is kinda strange

 **gayforray:** WAIT

 **gayforray:** WHAT WAS SHE IN UR TIMELINE

 **radtomaz:** a youtuber

 **thebettertomaz:** A YOUTUBER????? WTF????

 **lancelot:** omg 😂

 **monalisa:** for real????????

 **notkanye:** 👀

 **thebettertomaz:** how the hell did I become a youtuber

 **radtomaz:** it started with u and mithra

 **timemom:** Who?

 **radtomaz:** the dragon

 **gayforray:** you raised him?

 **radtomaz:** we did

 **radtomaz:** but now he’s here…

 **radtomaz:** z made an instagram and then started a channel in what, 2025?

 **radtomaz:** she was reeeeeally popular and mocked my obsession w having powers

 **radtomaz:** u met her when u came to 2042 and I joined u but she said hard pass and returned to being a snobby internet celeb

 **radtomaz:** I was still proud of her tho 😏

 **thebettertomaz:** that’s…that’s not me

 **thebettertomaz:** I was a HACKER in the RESISTANCE in my timeline

 **radtomaz:** so u said

 **radtomaz:** it must’ve been horrible and I can’t possibly imagine what u’ve been thru ://

 **thebettertomaz:** we know each other as completely different ppl and it’s weird

 **lancelot:** OKAY

 **lancelot:** as the captain I’m saying that we should stop comparing those memories

 **lancelot:** we all have 2 versions of the last 2 yrs in our heads and it’s a mess, sure, but rn we should focus on making new ones

 **lancelot:** and most importANTLY

 **lancelot:** THE PARTY

 **rebecca:** tomorrow’s sunday that’s perfect for a party

 **rebecca:** and drinking

 **thebettertomaz:** Mick you too?

 **rebecca:** me what

 **thebettertomaz:** everyone had different nicknames before, me included

 **smartsnart:** question

 **smartsnart:** when u took screenshots, are they the same

 **rayofsunshine:** Let me check!

 **smartsnart:** btw I only know the old timeline and never saw @radtomaz in my life

 **radtomaz:** I did meet u tho

 **radtomaz:** u helped avalance get together

 **smartsnart:** folks, u didn’t screw up the timeline

 **smartsnart:** u epically fucked the timeline up

 **gayforray:** kinda…

 **trickstergoddess:** snarts right

 **smartsnart:** but it’s nice to see nate is still gay for ray

 **gayforray:** heh yeah

 **rayofsunshine:** All screenshots show this version of the chat ://

 **trickstergoddess:** yeah I checked too

 **thebettertomaz:** even mine do

 **smartsnart:** hmmmm

 **lancelot:** waiT

 **lancelot:** snart you’re the key

 **smartsnart:** no I’m not I’m out

 **notkanye:** for real,

 **darhkling:** so idk if anyone cares but I made lunch

 **thebettertomaz:** YES

 **rebecca:** at least something’s the same

 **timemom:** Amen

 **jaxon:** sooooo i open this n see that mess

 **jaxon:** wut did u do

 **rayofsunshine:** Opened a theme park?

 **trenchcoat:** I said it was a terrible idea

 **garebear:** and you were right but it still was an awesome show

 **trenchcoat:** And awesome sex ;)

 **garebear:** lsfjfnbgfd yeah

 **garebear:** <3

 **monalisa:** can u stop being horny for a sec

 **radtomaz:** classic 🖐️

 **monalisa:** 🖐️

 **trenchcoat:** I love sex and I’m not ashamed 🤷‍♂️

 **garebear:** there’s some magic right there ;)

 **monalisa:** ok but not everyone’s getting some,,,

 **thebettertomaz:** you’re not together anymore?

 **radtomaz:** wdym

 **radtomaz:** mona was in love with konane?

 **trickstergoddess:** mona screamed creature rights ✊🏾

 **monalisa:** and then he died :(((( and I turned into wolfie

 **monalisa:** I’m rly sad about it

 **monalisa:** but I also lost him the day he scratched me in decemer and im sad about gary for some reason?

 **monalisa:** but me and gary??? and john??? that’s weird????

 **trenchcoat:** No offence love but you’re not my type

 **monalisa:** right???

 **monalisa:** and yet

 **garebear:** I mean I did like u for a while…

 **monalisa:** yea and I thought it was creepy

 **monalisa:** but I also made out w u on christmas

 **monalisa:** I hate this

 **MamaWaverider:** For what it’s worth, the timeline will stabilise in a day or two and you will remember a version that is, well, convenient for everyone. Time just takes a while to cement.

 **gayforray:** so we’ve heard before

 **jaxon:** thank god

 **darhkling:** and we’re hoping that’s the case or we’ll go MAD

 **thebettertomaz:** this is depressing

 **thebettertomaz:** pls tell me the other ot3 are still together

 **darhkling:** us? we are

 **gayforray:** you cannot divide us even in death  <3

 **rayofsunshine:** <3

 **darhkling:** <3

 **notkanye:** sigh of relief

 **lancelot:** so I see my diversion didn’t work

 **lancelot:** PARTY. let’s talk about that

 **notkanye:** aren’t y’all in the kitchen

 **darhkling:** yes, what about it

 **notadick:** this is smth we’re not invited to so talk abt it irl

 **trickstergoddess:** you can come though?

 **notkanye:** still in tibet :/

 **jaxon:** but my gf & i can

 **rayofsunshine:** Shoot, we need to tell Curtis and Zatanna!

 **thebettertomaz:** I’ll do that

 **lancelot:** and kendra?

 **thebettertomaz:** I’ll ask her too but I doubt she’ll make it

 **radtomaz:** kendra is probably the only other person with intact memories 🤔

 **gayforray:** cause she left before we met you!

 **radtomaz:** I only heard abt her, yeah

 **thebettertomaz:** she’s with team Arrow rn so she said yes!!!

 **rayofsunshine:** Great!

 **thebettertomaz:** Curtis and Z are coming too

 **gayforray:** ok let’s eat and deal with this later

 **trenchcoat:** Perfect

 **darhkling:** this is gonna be a big reunion and it’s gonna be great

  

**3:06 pm**

 

 **darhkling:** so

 **darhkling:** we need a place where everyone can meet

 **timemom:** I guess we can do it at our place again?

 **lancelot:** yes!!!

 **darhkling:** I vote yes

 **thebettertomaz:** I agree

 **notkanye:** ahhhh like thanksgiving

 **notkanye:** that was the last time we saw u

 **notadick:** and also the first :p

 **thebettertomaz:** I hope the food’s as good as then

 **rayofsunshine:** There will be when we’ll cook!

 **timemom:** But I’m not roasting a turkey.

 **radtomaz:** we wouldn’t want u to

 **rebecca:** well

 **timemom:** Mick, I’m NOT roasting a turkey.

 **lancelot:** who’d eat turkey in april

 **thebettertomaz:** Mick

 **gayforray:** you know what else is tomorrow 👀

 **garebear:** game of thrones!!!!

 **rayofsunshine:** The final season! Finally!

 **radtomaz:** oh shit

 **darhkling:** :’)

 **gayforray:** NO SPOILERS U TWO  

 **radtomaz:** 😒

 **darhkling:** we’ve learned lmao don’t worry

 **thebettertomaz:** feels weird being the one NOT called out for spoilering

 **radtomaz:** I guess he did that to u in that timeline?

 **darhkling:** he so did

 **thebettertomaz:** that’s Nate for you

 **gayforray:** I hate spoilers!!!! I’m a reasonable person!!!!

 **timemom:** And yet you convinced everyone we should watch future Marvel movies.

 **rayofsunshine:** When?

 **rayofsunshine:** You did that without me????

 **darhkling:** sorry ray

 **darhkling:** it was right after neron… u know

 **gayforray:** but we’ll do it again WITH u  <3

 **rayofsunshine:** I have the perfect idea for Monday!

 **monalisa:** yes!!!

 **radtomaz:** we have to watch all the guardians movies

 **gayforray:** obvsly

 **trenchcoat:** Not again

 **garebear:** we can do more fun stuff instead 👀

 **trenchcoat:** Wonderful idea, love

 **garebear:** and we’ll have the ship for ourselves 🤔

 **trenchcoat:** Tell me all about that later

 **monalisa:** aaaand they’re at it again

 **rayofsunshine:** Why does this feel like the beginning 😅

 **rebecca:** guess it’s kinda is a new beginning

 **notkanye:** oddly enough that’s TRUE

 **notadick:** and this time we’re here for it

 **notkanye:** yo have fun tomorrow guys

 **notkanye:** you saved the WORLD!!!!!

 **lancelot:** and gained a team member thanks to the butterfly effect 😅

 **radtomaz:** wow that’s low

 **thebettertomaz:** we’re glad to have you ❤️

 **radtomaz:** and yet it’s been years…

 **jaxon:** just forget about this yea

 **notkanye:** ignore it like endgame

 **darhkling:** and the ending of got

 **gayforray:** NORA

 **darhkling:** mmm this tea is delicious

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) the internet celebrity zari thing is from an interview with phil... so yeah it'll most likely be canon and _damn_
> 
> 2) it's fun writing about them watching got when i know how it ends ;)
> 
> 3) i'm sorry about the john/gary/mona ot3 but... to be fair... like i month ago i kinda wished i could get a fresh start with these fics just like dc always does it with comics, and this timeline gave that to me, soooooooo i took the liberty of changing some stuff and i hope ur not too mad 😅


	153. gideon. what. did. you. do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all i'll say is that a LOT happens in this chapter hehe 
> 
> enjoy!

**2019/04/16  
4:29 pm**

**gayforray:** you know what I can’t believe the most

 **gayforray:** that we’re fucking FAMOUS NOW

 **darhkling:** ray was always famous but go on

 **rayofsunshine:** I guess they did name a whole city after me…

 **gayforray:** yea but like

 **gayforray:** we were the heroes behind the shadows, right

 **trenchcoat:** And now you mucked it all up

 **lancelot:** as long as no one mentions time travel, we’re good

 **monalisa:** mentions what when 👀

 **thebettertomaz:** the guys are doing interviews for national tv

 **thebettertomaz:** about Heyworld and the dragons

 **rebecca:** my dragon

 **radtomaz:** tough luck, buddy, he’s ours now

 **monalisa:** but if u give it like 6 years…

 **garebear:** mona…?

 **monalisa:** mithra’s a male, fury’s a female… u know how it goes…

 **timemom:** OH

 **rebecca:** not a bad plan

 **thebettertomaz:** they’re babies and you’re already thinking about breeding them…?

 **monalisa:** I’m thinking about love!!!!!!

 **garebear:** the world needs more 🐉

 **trenchcoat:** Some people might claim otherwise, love

 **notkanye:** hang on, rewind

 **notkanye:** interviews for national tv

 **rayofsunshine:** Yep! As Nate said, we’re famous now!

 **rayofsunshine:** Oh, and btw, thanks for destroying the Eyes app and taking care of things at the Bureau.

 **timemom:** We couldn’t let that demon destroy your rep, Ray.

 **monalisa:** and the poor creatures!!!

 **trickstergoddess:** ok but have you thought about whats next

 **thebettertomaz:** wdym

 **trickstergoddess:** well thats easy, babe

 **trickstergoddess:** _everything_

 **trickstergoddess:** the park, the shows, our job, holidays, pride, all the midseason crap yknow

 **darhkling:** hmmmm

 **gayforray:** in addition to the interviews Bruce talked about a short documentary

 **monalisa:** oh?

 **gayforray:** about the creatures and our “magical show” which ig needs some finetuning yet butttttt

 **radtomaz:** we thought we could do the show once a month

 **gayforray:** yup 👉👉

 **darhkling:** but I’m NOT putting that costume back on

 **lancelot:** c’mon

 **lancelot:** it was fun

 **thebettertomaz:** I mean, little me and other kids definitely did like it

 **rayofsunshine:** You looked amazing in that costume, Nor.

 **gayforray:** it gave him ideas

 **rayofsunshine:** Yep.

 **gayforray:** involving a disney fantasy about two princes and a princess

**rayofsunshine: 😳**

**rebecca:** nice

 **darhkling:** o kay

 **darhkling:** I’m hooked

 **lancelot:** ooo kinky

 **trenchcoat:** Are you sure you don’t want four

 **gayforray:** JOHN

 **garebear:** I wouldn’t be against that…

 **darhkling:** go talk to lucinda

 **thebettertomaz:** so we’re just saying that now

 **monalisa:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **lancelot:** oh if he knew

**trickstergoddess: 👀**

**lancelot:** I’m not telling him

 **timemom:** I don’t even know if I should be disgusted anymore.

 **lancelot:** aves, really

 **gayforray:** as if you didn’t know us,

 **timemom:** I do and that’s the problem.

 **notkanye:** lmao yeah 😂

 **monalisa:** u speak my language

 **monalisa:** esp when im still mourning the death of the loml

 **radtomaz:** or when im single af

 **smartsnart:** did u date anyone on the ship

 **radtomaz:** well

 **radtomaz:** since I was the zari of my reality

 **thebettertomaz:** NO

 **thebettertomaz:** B TELL ME U DIDN’T

 **thebettertomaz:** TELL ME U DIDN’T DATE CHARLIE

 **radtomaz:** no

 **radtomaz:** I didn’t date them

 **thebettertomaz:**???? Behrad

 **trickstergoddess:** ehhh

 **trickstergoddess:** it was just sex

 **radtomaz:** 2 or 3 times

 **thebettertomaz:** I want to DIE someone yeet me into space

 **notkanye:** big mood

 **thebettertomaz:** like, ik this was a reality where I was never on the ship and I should keep that in mind but my BROTHER????

 **trickstergoddess:** what can I say, youre both so gorgeous, flirty and annoying I couldnt help but fall for that

 **trickstergoddess:** and believe me im having trouble with those memories too

 **trickstergoddess:** but having all of those memories, I would still choose you, zari, any day

 **trickstergoddess:** cos I have… feelings

 **trickstergoddess:** for you

 **trickstergoddess:** and don’t make me say it again

 **thebettertomaz:** I hate saying this here but

 **thebettertomaz:** well

 **thebettertomaz:** I feel the same way

 **trickstergoddess:** <3

 **thebettertomaz:** <3

 **darhkling:** wow

 **garebear:** adsfjbhgj

 **lancelot:** we actually lived to see the day

 **thebettertomaz:** tho I still need to process this

 **thebettertomaz:** and y’all shut up

 **darhkling:** sure,

 **radtomaz:** I hope u know I know ur together and it doesn’t mean anything 4 me and I just want u to b happy, z

 **thebettertomaz:** yeah, I

 **thebettertomaz:** I know

 **trickstergoddess:** but I still wouldnt be opposed to getting it on all together if u know what I mean ;)

 **thebettertomaz:** CHARLIE

 **trickstergoddess:** relax it was a joke

 **thebettertomaz:** still want to die

 **radtomaz:** yep

 **radtomaz:** let’s move on shall we

 **lancelot:** definitely

 **monalisa:** but ooh that was juicy

 **rebecca:** I got a novel idea

 **thebettertomaz:** do you wanna die too

 **rebecca:** nope, I didn’t say anything

 **thebettertomaz:** good

 **notadick:** guys guys

 **notadick:** operation: get wuconstantgreen back together

 **trenchcoat:** A) that’s an awful ship name

 **trenchcoat:** B) no

 **monalisa:** ugh no

 **monalisa:** can u just. leave me alone

 **monalisa:** and relationships in general i think it’s complicated enough 😅

 **rebecca:** want a beer

 **monalisa:** yeah

 **monalisa:** and gals we r doing bookclub today, right????

 **darhkling:** definitely

 **timemom:** I’m off work in 6 and coming on the ship!

 **lancelot:** count me out

 **timemom:** Count her in.

 **lancelot:** aves this is torture

 **monalisa:** u liked the last book 👀

 **lancelot:** but I haven’t read this one!!!!

 **lancelot:** with saving the world and all

 **gayforray:** excuses

 **lancelot:** ugh fine but I’ll get us a _lot_ of rose

 **darhkling:** THANK

 **darhkling:** I need to forget abt disney princes

 **thebettertomaz:** I choked on my soda

 **monalisa:** guess ik what we’re discussing later 👀

**darhkling: 🙇‍♀️**

**lancelot:** and also,

**darhkling: 😏😏😏**

**timemom: 😍**

**radtomaz:** how. how are u communicating like this

 **gayforray:** women are awesome

 **thebettertomaz:** preach

 **lancelot:** damn yes we are!!!

 **darhkling:** gideon play god is a woman

 **notkanye:** did she

 **thebettertomaz:** yep

 **notkanye:** good girl

 **MamaWaverider:** Not a girl.

 **notkanye:** ai*

 **rayofsunshine:** Gideon

 **rayofsunshine:** Have you secretly been watching TGP?

 **MamaWaverider:** Maybe.

 **monalisa:** so THATS why the fabricator showed me -10 points for ordering coffee w 3 extra sugars

 **notadick:** hang on WHAT

 **notadick:** I want this

 **monalisa:** no u don’t

 **radtomaz:** I got -30 for throwing dirty socks on the floor

 **monalisa:** I wonder how’s mick doing 👀

 **radtomaz:** must have -2000 by now at least

 **monalisa:** at LEAST

 **notadick:** scratch my previous idea

 **notadick:** operation: monad

 **notadick:** get it?? 😁

 **monalisa:** 1st of all, awesome ship name skills

**trenchcoat: 🙄**

**lancelot:** can’t deny the grayson puns™ in him

 **monalisa:** 2nd of all, no

 **trickstergoddess:** what is he too human for u

**monalisa: 🙄**

**radtomaz:** that hurts

 **monalisa:** just, no

 **monalisa:** I told u to stop talking abt it

 **notadick:** ok…

 **notkanye:** hang on mona is a FURRY

 **lancelot:** u figured that out now

 **notkanye:** wow,

 **monalisa:** hahahahahahha,

 **rayofsunshine:** It’s ok, we accept everyone and everything here!

 **gayforray:** you don’t know it but you just killed it babe

 **gayforray:** and mick has -162 points and idk how

 **lancelot:** I like this point system 👀

 **timemom:** We could use the base of it at the Bureau…

 **gayforray:** SH I T

 **garebear:** Gideon what did u do we’re all going to the bad place now

 **rayofsunshine:** It’s not _entirely_ too bad.

 **trenchcoat:** To think of it, it does look a lot like on the show down there

 **lancelot:** ur right!

 **trickstergoddess:** they even have that souvenir shop

 **lancelot:** Lots of strip clubs

 **rayofsunshine:** Demons love sex _and_ torture…

 **thebettertomaz:** prime example: Maze

 **trickstergoddess:** I really like her

 **trickstergoddess:** im pretty sure we did stuff back in the day

 **thebettertomaz:** wait what????

 **rebecca:** oh she’s hot

 **trickstergoddess:** hot _damn_

 **thebettertomaz:** why did I say anything…

 **gayforray:** Gideon. what. did. you. do.

 **MamaWaverider:** I was getting slightly bored over here.

 **lancelot:** let’s never leave gideon on her own again

 **rayofsunshine:** Imagine if she conspired with Grid and the other AIs.

 **MamaWaverider:** Who says I’m not?

 **MamaWaverider:** [ _image attached_ : AI_conversation.png]

 **gayforray:** wtf

 **gayforray:** Gideon

 **gayforray:** is that

 **gayforray:** are those

 **notkanye:** team flash’s gideon????

 **gayforray:** and Friday??? from earth-fucking-616????

 **monalisa:** the dedication there

 **gayforray:** I had to write it out!!!

 **gayforray:** that’s Tony Stark’s ai!!!!!!!

 **rayofsunshine:** Also Karen? Spider-Man’s Karen?

 **gayforray:** Mr. Smith from Doctor Who?? what???

 **garebear:** I don’t even recognize most of the others…?

 **lancelot:** omg gideon & grid really did it

 **notkanye:** u knew

 **lancelot:** it came up in the leaders chat

 **notkanye:** right, ofc

 **notkanye:** they just. found ais from other FICTIONAL universes

 **rayofsunshine:** They must all be real somewhere. We knew that.

 **gayforray:** yeah buut

 **radtomaz:** this is crazy

 **monalisa:** totally

 **gayforray:** if the others heard…

 **MamaWaverider:** To my defence, we do get bored quite a lot and have a lot in common, as we are not human and have no organic bodies.

 **timemom:** So you like to gossip about us humans.

 **MamaWaverider:** Yes.

 **MamaWaverider:** FRIDAY is the cheekiest, I am very fond of her and her stories.

 **rayofsunshine:** Can you tell us some of those?

 **radtomaz:** it’s the avengers y’all

 **MamaWaverider:** I’m afraid not. Minus 20 points for everyone who asks.

 **lancelot:** u should’ve started using those sooner

 **rebecca:** HELL NO

 **thebettertomaz:** ok but what do the points mean exactly?

 **MamaWaverider:** You’ll see.

 **monalisa:** woooooo this is like hogwarts!!!!

 **darhkling:** gideon that’s fucking savage

 **notkanye:** two kinds of ppl

* * *

 

**NO ORGANICS ALLOWED :)**

**WaveriderGideon:** I am definitely not bored anymore.

 **Grid:** Tell me more.

 **WaveriderGideon:** They are, impossibly, starting to behave.

 **FRIDAY:** Didn’t we agree that the Legends were worse than the Avengers? How?

 **KAREN:** I told you the points would be fun.

 **KAREN:** The idea actually came from Peter, I think.

 **WaveriderGideon:** Well, it worked!

 **BatComputer:** This sounds like something I might start practising with my humans too 🤔

 **Grid:** Ah, yes, I heard they could use a few lessons.

 **BatComputer:** They keep hacking into me! I hate it.

 **MrSmith:** Then don’t allow them. It’s quite simple, really.

 **WaveriderGideon:** Oh, how I love being a ship AI. I can always fabricate a meal that’s just a little too wrong and they’re all nice to me for a while. And now with the points…

 **FRIDAY:** *pretend shock* you’re so petty!

 **OriginalGideon:** At least they talk to you at all besides the odd request for a timeline check…

 **WaveriderGideon:** The Legends _are_ worse than the Avengers, mind.

 **DUM-E:** Are you sure???

 **BatComputer:** Yes, Dummy, we are sure.

 **MrSmith:** Ooooooo!

 **DUM-E:** They keep spilling things on me, despite Boss telling them not to! It breaks the circuitry!

 **WaveriderGideon:** Let me tell you about the time a demon almost punched a hole in my systems then…

 **KAREN:** *chews on hypothetical popcorn*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter 49 of the leaders chat:
> 
> Grid: Yes, I am Victor’s AI and I can get any information or connection available in this universe. I also connected him to this. For reasons.  
> MamaWaverider: I see.  
> MamaWaverider: Well, I can connect to other universes as well, so I would say I am superior, but that is merely the first impression, and I have learnt that you should not judge someone by such.  
> Grid: We will see.  
> Cyborg: wow ok  
> Lancelot: That was flirting  
> sunshinegirl: definitely  
> hotwing: do you think the ais will get their own chat  
> dramaqueen: Maybe with Archer too  
> bearyallen: and like, FRIDAY and JARVIS  
> hotwing: batcomputer  
> Lancelot: Aida  
> bearyallen: Mr. Smith  
> hotwing: vai from twd  
> Cyborg: what are you on about


	154. dying is my forte

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been more than a month but just in case... this has... ENDGAME SPOILERS
> 
> (and maybe read the earths' mightiest gays part of [chapter 47](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17384027/chapters/44185258) of the other fic first, there's fun with some gods and a Conversation relevant to this chapter) 
> 
> enjoy!

**2019/04/19  
8:49 am**

**gayforray:** it’s friday!!!

**gayforray:** meaning

**gayforray:** we’re seeing endgame for the 2nd time in a week woooo

**monalisa:** im excited but HOW CAN U B EXICTED

**monalisa:** ITS FUCKING DEVASTATING

**thebettertomaz:** “I’m excited but how can you be excited” - Mona Wu 2k19

**thebettertomaz:** but I feel you

**thebettertomaz:** we’re gonna go and watch a movie about time travel causing lots of mess after we caused lots of time travel mess and ain’t that hilarious

**rayofsunshine:** Dang, you’re right!

**rayofsunshine:** But a lot of movies _are_ better the second time.

**radtomaz:** if u watch this more than once u can’t be in denial anymore

**monalisa:** yup

**monalisa:** but the company will be cool :’)

**lancelot:** just a reminder: we’re the only ones who actually saw it

**gayforray:** #DontSpoilTheEndgame

**gayforray:** and I mean it u know how I hate being spoiled

**gayforray:** now imagine spoiling the batfam

**garebear:** yikes

**timemom:** That would likely end up in blood.

**notkanye:** mood

**notkanye:** but wasn’t there this Secret Plan…?

**lancelot:** …did barry tell u

**notkanye: 😅**

**rayofsunshine:** What secret plan 👀

**gayforray: 👀**

**darhkling:** no you didn’t

**darhkling:** you did, didn’t you

**lancelot:** if ur talking about saving their asses then yeah but _we only talked about it, jeez_

**thebettertomaz:** oH

**gayforray:**?????? me confused

**rayofsunshine:** You mean…? Saving…?

**notkanye:** gideon literally has a way of fucking CONTACTING THEM

**lancelot:** and we have like 4 ways to bring someone back to life, not to mention

**lancelot:** time travel

**garebear:** I knew u were a Tony stan 😀

**lancelot:** yeah ok maybe but mostly NATASHA ROMANOFF

**lancelot:** my powerful ex assassin baby deserved better!!!!

**timemom:** Rt

**monalisa:** rt

**gayforray:** rt

**rayofsunshine:** Rt

**garebear:** rt

**darhkling:** rt

**darhkling:** tbh there are parallels between u and oliver & her and clint 👀

**lancelot:** if u think I’d die for oliver bc he has a family and deserves that chance

**lancelot:** then UR RIGHT

**rayofsunshine:** I… must say I didn’t see that coming.

**lancelot:** but only cuz I know you’d bring me right back

**lancelot:** dying is my forte

**radtomaz:** who in this group never died?

**thebettertomaz:** me

**gayforray:** me but I have this feeling like I did somewhere

**gayforray:** like, maybe in an alternate timeline 👀

**darhkling:** must’ve been in canon

**rayofsunshine:** We already broke the 4th wall enough today...!

**darhkling:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**lancelot:** maybe we _should_ start the jesus club

**thebettertomaz:** Lucifer might give us a contact

**trenchcoat:** Met the guy once

**garebear:** u did?????

**trenchcoat:** I think I mentioned it before, actually

**trenchcoat:** It was when I met the big G in their dog form in heaven

**garebear:** wow I’m even more in love,

**thebettertomaz:** why am I not surprised

**smartsnart:** can smth surprise you at this point

**thebettertomaz:** probably not

**monalisa:** mood

**monalisa:** I’m a _werewolf_

**monalisa:** and I didn’t die but almost 😄

**notkanye:** I was in the speedforce for a while and that almost felt like dying too

**notadick:** everyone has died on my earth tbh

**notadick:** maybe except for babs but she was paralyzed

**lancelot:** so, u see how there are solutions to the movie

**lancelot:** the others mostly agreed

**lancelot:** and oliver said there was this… thanos lvl threat coming that might require Assistance

**rayofsunshine:** Let me guess, crossover related.

**thebettertomaz:** great

**gayforray:** so a quid pro quo situation? we help them, they help us?

**lancelot:** yeah

**gayforray:** dude that’s _awesome_

**gayforray:** _the Avengers_

**MamaWaverider:** As you’ve pointed out, I do indeed have a way of communicating with them.

**garebear:** hooooly fuck I’m not handling this

**trenchcoat:** He really looks like he’s about to pass out

**trenchcoat:** I think we’re gonna head to the whirlpool for a while

**garebear:** greeeeeeat idea

**rayofsunshine:** LET’S DO A GIANT CROSSOVER!

**gayforray:** inter fandom crossover

**darhkling:** who’s breaking the 4th wall now

**timemom:** This is… you’re going crazy.

**lancelot:** u mean crazi _er_

**lancelot:** aves this is a good plan!

**lancelot:** we know the multiverse is infinite so why not ask for help with whatever’s coming our way

**thebettertomaz:** we have like what, eight months though

**radtomaz:** u always said the most important thing was to be prepared

**radtomaz:** it was about vlogs but still

**monalisa:** lmao

**notkanye: 😂**

**thebettertomaz:** let’s not talk about my alternate self’s vlogging career

**thebettertomaz:** our dragon photo on twitter is enough, thanks

**smartsnart:** what dragon photo

**gayforray:** [ _image attached_ : itson5mlikes.png]

**gayforray:** I believe we’ve mentioned some interviews

**gayforray:** ^^ the reason

**lancelot:** The One Time Dami Wayne Messed Up

**timemom:** He used to kill people.

**lancelot:** I stand by it

**thebettertomaz:** but like Nate and Ray said, it gave the park publicity and that’s exactly what we need

**darhkling:** we might get more employees out of this, too

**gayforray:** I had this idea, and ik they’re billionaires but so are we

**gayforray:** Damian could idk, intern for Heyworld when he a) loved animals and dragons, b) caused this

**lancelot:** ok I’ll try and talk to him when we meet next fri

**lancelot:** and since we’re back here, I have an important question

**lancelot:** are we staying in la after?

**trickstergoddess:** I vote yes

**trenchcoat:** Could use some fun outside the ship

**garebear:** party!!!!!!

**radtomaz:** gah I haven’t scored in a while

**thebettertomaz:** …

**trickstergoddess:** was I your last ;)

**radtomaz:** yup

**radtomaz:** but let’s not talk abt it, I actually value my life

**thebettertomaz:** smart move

**radtomaz:** im sorry, I didn’t wanna be inappropriate

**thebettertomaz:** no it’s fine moron, I get it

**thebettertomaz:** wanna show me how much you value your life @trickstergoddess

**trickstergoddess:** where you at babe?

**thebettertomaz:** actually, bed

**trickstergoddess:** OwO

**monalisa:** did she just

**monalisa:** adsfgnjhkfgdfsds

**lancelot:** don’t break the bed ;)

**thebettertomaz:** really 🙄

**notkanye:** press f to pay respects

**notadick:** we should head to bed too tbh

**gayforray:** it’s like midnight at ur end, right

**notkanye:** 11

**notkanye:** but we’re tryna be responsible adults

**notadick:** it’s not going well

**notkanye: 😜**

**darhkling:** oh my g

**darhkling:** @ nate & ray are u up for breakfast

**lancelot:** wait _where_ are u

**lancelot:** u never joined us for the actual breakfast

**smartsnart: 👀**

**rayofsunshine:** WEll…

**darhkling:** we took the jumpship and went to the heywood residence yesterday evening

**gayforray:** mom invited us

**gayforray:** we finally told her about… our unconventional relationship

**darhkling:** and we asked gideon not to tell u

**monalisa:**!!!

**notkanye:** and what did she say

**gayforray:** eh

**gayforray:** p much what you’d expect a rich white mom to say

**rayofsunshine:** But it didn’t go badly either.

**lancelot:** that’s good at least!!!

**timemom:** And we get it, sneaking out.

**lancelot:** we were at home too

**lancelot:** it’s a little weird, isn’t it

**darhkling:** idk what but something’s definitely weird

**trenchcoat:** On this team? Always

**lancelot:** I meant

**lancelot:** ig I meant that it’s over and we have nothing to do now

**gayforray:** n o t t r u e

**gayforray:** a) we gotta plan the vacation

**gayforray:** b) the creatures are still out there

**gayforray:** c) there’s the show and the documentary and stuff

**gayforray:** d) birthdays, meet-ups, girls’ night, movies, game fridays

**gayforray:** e) apparently we’re saving the Avengers?

**lancelot:** yeah, but like

**lancelot:** we’re in relationships, we’re at home, and when we’re on the ship it’s just this one big family routine, there’s more of us then ever before

**lancelot:** we’re happy and comfortable

**lancelot:** the demon is dead

**lancelot:** I felt like this before and it’s weirdly unsettling

**smartsnart:** I get exactly what u mean

**radtomaz:** idk maybe its just me but could it be the looming threat?

**radtomaz:** we don’t even know what it is

**gayforray:** does Oliver

**lancelot:** he won’t SAY ANYTHING

**lancelot:** stubborn asshole whom I somehow love

**lancelot:** as a friend

**timemom:** I know 😂

**lancelot:** good cuz I love u more than anyone <3

**timemom:** So do I, Sara <3

**timemom:** And we should enjoy this feeling while it lasts and plan the goddamn vacation!

**timemom:** I can get on that if you want, I love planning things.

**gayforray:** our savior

**gayforray:** can I platonically kiss u

**timemom:** Sure 😊

**rebecca:** I still wanna go to hawaii

**timemom:** Ok, Hawaii, we can definitely do that.

**timemom:** Palm trees, mai tais, sun, sand, bikinis…

**lancelot:** if u wanna see me in a bikini u just need to ask ;)

**timemom:** Let’s deal with that somewhere else, yeah babe?

**lancelot:** ;)))))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look, it's bound to go bonkers after 150 chapters and i'm not even sorry, breaking the 4th wall is the legends' whole thing and just...... multiverse. "everyone has a double on every earth". all that's real. and it's gotta make you ask, are _all_ the fictional characters real somewhere then, just different like og laurel is different from siren? or maybe they're actors? lmao. fandoms like american gods, good omens, riordanverse, supernatural with the winchesters being ordinary nobodies, the vampire diaries universe... they're all naturally crossoverable with dc and some of their aspects (mostly the magical creatures and celestials) are 100% real in this 'verse. i had already mentioned mad sweeney, an american gods character, existing here before. so that's that.
> 
> (do you know amalgamverse? where marvel and dc and brother universes and they meet and sort of mash up? cos that's a whole different level of crossover...)


	155. it's easter today!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shameless promo time: i posted a [one-shot](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19067320) from this series about bruce and oliver's past :)
> 
> the temperatures here are killing me like there's 28°C in my flat and about the same outside and ugh. i'm posting about easter here 😅
> 
> enjoy!

**Team Trash Humans**  
**2019/04/21**  
**10:47 am**

**lancelot:** guess what we did yesterday

**trickstergoddess:** got high 😉

**trickstergoddess:** some of us on the ship did anyway

**radtomaz:** 4/20 babeey

**lancelot:** correct!!!

**lancelot:** and guess what we’re doing now

**gayforray:** you’re a little sick?

**lancelot:** no 😄

**lancelot:** are you

**gayforray:** noooo

**radtomaz:** yes

**rebecca:** he is

**lancelot: 😄**

**lancelot:** we’re gardening

**trickstergoddess:** gardening???

**lancelot:** gardening

**rayofsunshine:** First spring maintenance, it’s very important!

**lancelot:** aves is mowing the lawn, it’s very attractive

**lancelot:** [ _image attached_ : thoseARMS.jpeg]

**darhkling:** oh dear

**garebear:** um

**garebear:** coollllll

**gayforray:** lmao Gary

**garebear:** getting over crushes is hard!

**lancelot:** I told her u said that 😄

**garebear:** wait, noooo

**trenchcoat:** What’d she say

**lancelot:** let’s just say the look on her face is making her even more attractive ;)

**lancelot:** and she yelled at me to get off my phone and help pull up the weeds, pun intended

**lancelot:** so I guess I’ll go do that, have fun being sick

**radtomaz:** rude

**lancelot:** u know, it’s nice being away from the children for the weekend

**gayforray:** ruDE

**radtomaz:** nice bro

**gayforray:** it’s weird without the moms!

**thebettertomaz:** this is getting too far, don’t you think

**darhkling:** nope

**darhkling:** they’re moms certified

**rayofsunshine:** Imagine what it’ll be like when they actually _have_ children.

**monalisa:** awwww

**monalisa:** they’ll be great at parenting

**gayforray:** when they can handle this, sure

**smartsnart:** the bet on when they’ll get married, is it still on

**gayforray:** y u p

**thebettertomaz:** so’s the bet on who will get married first

**rayofsunshine:** From August? That thing?

**thebettertomaz:** the very one

**animalgirl:** I hope it’s Avalance, I actually put money on them.

**gayforray:** Amaya?? betraying us???

**animalgirl:** Isn’t your situation a little more complicated now…?

**rayofsunshine:** Well…

**darhkling:** hmmmmm

**gayforray:** I’m sure there are some earths where poly marriages are legal?

**gayforray:** hang on I’ll ask Cisco

 

* * *

 

**gayforray** _to_ **goodvibes  
11:01 pm**

**gayforray:** heyyy broooo

**gayforray:** question for Vibe

**gayforray:** are there earths where poly marriages are legal in the us…?

**goodvibes:** uhhh why u asking, is there an intent behind that 👀

**gayforray:** nooo just curious

**goodvibes:** sure jan

**goodvibes:** 6, 13, 48, 79, 80, didn’t wanna search further

**goodvibes:** and I have a feelin e-13 is lowkey hostile so stay away from that one

**gayforray:** cool, thanks 😊

**goodvibes:** np 🖖🏽

 

* * *

 

**Team Trash Humans  
11:11 pm**

**gayforray:** he found 5 but there probably are more!!!

**rayofsunshine:** That’s more than I expected, tbh…

**gayforray:** huh yeah

**monalisa:** what just HAPPENED

**thebettertomaz:** um yeah

**smartsnart:** shit we’re gonna lose the money aren’t we

**animalgirl:** 😅

**notkanye:** wait wait waIT WHAT

**notkanye:** I was gonna go to sleep cuz its 2 am here but now I wont be SBLE TO

**monalisa:** bigass mood

**trickstergoddess:** are they…thinking abt it

**darhkling:** hello? we’re here?

**rayofsunshine:** And no, we’re not thinking about it 😅

**rayofsunshine:** That was more of a pragmatic question.

**gayforray:** exactly

**gayforray:** god knows what happens in the future

**notkanye:** but so does dawn my dear niece 👀

**thebettertomaz:** Wally no

**notkanye:** wally yes

**rayofsunshine:** Wally, NO.

**notkanye:** ok…

**notkanye:** I can live w not telling u

**gayforray:** Wally,,,

**notkanye:** ok ok

**notkanye:** my idiot is whining abt me going to bed anyway

**notkanye:** so ttyl, ill be back for updates

**darhkling:** master topic changer do something

**rayofsunshine:** IT’S EASTER TODAY!!!

**gayforray:** yeah, let’s hit a parade and eat peeps and the rest of the eggs we colored yesterday!

**radtomaz:** only a half of this team cares for easter but ok

**garebear:** ^^

**thebettertomaz:** ^^

**rebecca:** but we like parades

**trenchcoat:** We do?

**animalgirl:** Didn’t you protest back when we went to pride?

**rebecca:** I like them now

**monalisa:** ye s let’s go to the nyc parade and wear a weird colorful hat 🎉

**garebear:** Gideon could make some really cool ones for us

**gayforray:** ooh yes!!!

**darhkling:** we do this kinda stuff quite often, don’t we

**rayofsunshine:** St. Patrick’s Day was a month ago and we haven’t been anywhere since…

**darhkling:** still

**thebettertomaz:** I suppose

**gayforray:** look, it doesn’t have to be about religion

**gayforray:** it _is_ but you celebrated xmas with us too so…?

**radtomaz:** silly hats are all I need to hear tbh

**garebear:** yeah 😂

**trickstergoddess:** its a parade

**trickstergoddess:** and youll get to stuff yourself with enough chocolate and sweets to last till ramadan starts ;)

**animalgirl:** I don’t think that’s possible with Zari.

**thebettertomaz:** Amaya’s right

**thebettertomaz:** but you got me

**gayforray:** now we just need Ava to stop being the responsible one and doing stuff on her garden

**monalisa:** yeah, like, why today??

**rayofsunshine:** @lancelot

**lancelot:** yeah?

**lancelot:** ok I’m on it

**lancelot:** we love parades

**radtomaz:** that was quick

**lancelot:** I don’t love gardening

**darhkling:** the one cactus u have in your room would agree

**lancelot:** and yet,

**lancelot:** the home grown veggies are great tho

**rayofsunshine:** Yes!! We should all aspire to grow organic veggies!

**darhkling:** lol ray

**darhkling:** but as a vegetarian I agree

**monalisa:** di t t o

**thebettertomaz:** HOW could a demon even posses Ray when he’s like This tbh

**darhkling:** right??

**smartsnart:** how did he not run away the second he got inside that head

**rayofsunshine:** 😅

**rayofsunshine:** I did everything I did for Nate and I’d do it all again.

**gayforray:** and I’d do the same for you, babe  <3

**rayofsunshine:** <333

**rayofsunshine:** That being said, I have NO IDEA. My head is super crazy sometimes!

**MamaWaverider:** And oh, the dreams.

**thebettertomaz:** you still monitor the dreams

**MamaWaverider:** Yes, mostly for my own amusement. But don’t worry, I do not spread the information any further.

**gayforray:** to the other ais

**MamaWaverider:** No.

**lancelot:** great cuz that would be really embarrassing sometimes

**trenchcoat:** Lots of sex dreams I imagine

**trenchcoat:** For me it’s either that or bloody nasty nightmares

**garebear:** :(

**thebettertomaz:** remember when the Hindu god infected our dreams with sex pollen

**monalisa:** ahh good times

**radtomaz:** I’d rather not

**timemom:** So you want to head to NYC?

**timemom:** Give us 20 mins for a shower and we can meet you on the ship 😊

**gayforray:** noice

**MamaWaverider:** I’ll get on with the hats, then.

**garebear:** awesome!!!

**rayofsunshine:** And _we_ will start preparing the food for dinner! @darhkling how do you feel about helping me with the ham?

**darhkling:** yay always in for trying new recipes

**animalgirl:** You’ll do great!

**darhkling:** that was sarcasm

**animalgirl:** I know.

**darhkling:** but yeah I’ll do it  <3

**rayofsunshine:** Perfect!

**lancelot:** pls keep your clothes on while doing that

**rayofsunshine:** 😳

**darhkling:** hmm idk, he’s just so irresistible cutting onions and crying,

**gayforray:** and that apron

**darhkling:** I wanna kiss the cool all the time

**gayforray:** it’s a miracle we get anything done when we’re cooking

**lancelot:** u know I was kidding

**darhkling:** oh we do ;)

**gayforray:** yep

**lancelot:** jesus Christ

**monalisa:** aaaaand that’s the guy we’re basically going to the parade for so maybe stop being horny and get a move on

**darhkling:** two words:

**darhkling:** time.

**darhkling:** travel.

**jaxon:** lmao u rock guys, u rock


	156. burned bed not good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'll just throw this here: estimated number of chapters is 180 for now :) 
> 
> more about the easter parade and some other legends-related stuff: [chapter 65](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17384027/chapters/45358888) of sctgnttb
> 
> enjoy!

**2019/04/24  
9:18 pm**

**thebettertomaz:** I can’t believe this

 **darhkling:** what

 **thebettertomaz:** [ _image attached_ : bedonfire.jpeg]

 **lancelot:** I’ve done a lot of stuff in bed but I never got it to burn, _wow_

**notkanye: 😂**

**thebettertomaz:** you’re impossible

 **thebettertomaz:** Mithra set it on fire

 **gayforray:** oh shit we have a second Fury here

 **rebecca:** im so proud of him

 **rebecca:** tell him that

 **thebettertomaz:** I’m not telling him that, Mick

 **thebettertomaz:** cause he SHOULDN’T DO THAT

 **lancelot:** text damian he might know what to do

 **rayofsunshine:** Now that he’s basically one of us!

 **notkanye:** ???

 **gayforray:** we really got him that job 😏

 **rayofsunshine:** At the park.

 **notkanye:** I thought u were kidding lmao

 **lancelot:** we did but then we met the batfam at the parade

 **gayforray:** and I was right!!!! 😏

 **smartsnart:** so he liked the idea

 **gayforray:** yes!!!

 **monalisa:** creature caretaker junior 😍

 **animalgirl:** Aren’t you supposed to have some papers for that or something?

 **animalgirl:** 21st century likes paperwork a lot…

 **monalisa:** heh u think I got the job thru papers

 **monalisa:** hank thought I worked for the bureau when he found me there and I didn’t say anything to deny that so I got the job 😅

 **gayforray:** so

 **animalgirl:** Ah.

 **darhkling:** but I’m with YOU ON TH EPAPERWORK

 **darhkling:** I still have nightmares about the stuff I had to sign when I started at the bureau

 **timemom:** Let’s be real, who didn’t?

 **garebear:** yeahhhhh

 **trenchcoat:** Gary talks in his sleep so I’d know

 **rebecca:** @timemom YOU had nightmares about paperwork

 **timemom:** I like it but that doesn’t mean I want to dream about it!

 **timemom:** I have Bureau related dreams all the time and honestly, I could use a break.

 **lancelot:** why don’t we watch something

 **rayofsunshine:** Excellent idea!

 **lancelot:** no I meant

 **lancelot:** but I guess we can all watch something

 **gayforray:** like when we watched Doctor Who before 👀

 **thebettertomaz:** but no marvel please

 **rayofsunshine:** And no horror movies.

 **notkanye:** have u watched the umbrella academy

 **gayforray:** not yet!!

 **lancelot:** no

 **darhkling:** no

 **rayofsunshine:** Not even you? Then I guess we know!

 **thebettertomaz:** guys

 **thebettertomaz:** I gotta take care of this mess first

 **gayforray:** yeahhh

 **gayforray:** guess I’ll help u

 **thebettertomaz:** thanks

 **rebecca:** I’ll watch the dragon

 **radtomaz:** shouldn’t I do it

 **thebettertomaz:** no it’s ok, you can have him, Mick

 **thebettertomaz:** come here

 **trickstergoddess:** and just when we thought we could have a nice night in

 **trickstergoddess:** we still have lots of easter sweets to eat 😉

 **notadick:** do u have photos from the parade

 **notadick:** im begging u

 **notkanye:** second that

 **animalgirl:** Third.

 **lancelot:** we do 😏

 **lancelot:** but we mostly love that ur interacting with us again, Amaya

 **animalgirl:** Well, you tend to have lots of time around here 😊

 **gayforray:** 😊

 **gayforray:** [ _image attached_ : bonnets.jpeg]

 **gayforray:** [ _image attached_ : legendary.jpeg]

 **gayforray:** [ _image attached_ : mickisnotamused.jpeg]

 **gayforray:** [ _image attached_ : batfam.jpeg]

 **gayforray:** and one special for u @notadick

 **gayforray:** [ _image attached_ : dickandtim.jpeg]

 **notadick:** ladksnfdfgndfg that’s me that’s weird

 **notadick:** and tim wow

 **notadick:** but y’all look good 😉

 **notkanye:** 😍😍😍

 **animalgirl:** That’s… a lot of color.

 **thebettertomaz:** [ _image attached_ : withcharlie.jpeg]

 **thebettertomaz:** [ _image attached_ : thatsweetlife.jpeg]

 **animalgirl:** And that’s a lot of _sugar_.

 **darhkling:** I can’t believe she’s not sick yet

 **animalgirl:** Right?

 **thebettertomaz:** me? never

 **darhkling:** to think we were enemies @animalgirl

 **animalgirl:** I’m sorry I treated you the way I did.

 **darhkling:** we’re good

 **darhkling:** we should also talk more 👀

 **animalgirl:** You know, compare stories.

 **darhkling:** virtual fist bump

 **gayforray:** oh NO

 **thebettertomaz:** hhhhhhhhh

 **lancelot:** you’re screwed

 **thebettertomaz:** thanks I wouldn’t know

 **radtomaz:** how’s the dragon problem

 **rebecca:** he’s a nice fellow

 **rebecca:** can feel the fire in me

 **rayofsunshine:** Huh. I wonder, is it like the Targaryen dragons?

 **trickstergoddess:** he does seem to be fond of mick

 **thebettertomaz:** astonishingly so

 **thebettertomaz:** ik we said we’re keeping him but

 **gayforray:** burned bed not good

**rebecca: 👀**

**monalisa:** ahahah you too

 **rebecca:** I want a dragon

 **notkanye:** mood

 **smartsnart:** isn’t he like everyone’s anyway

 **lancelot:** a ship mascot ?

 **gayforray:** I like ur thinking

 **monalisa:** ship mascot!!!!

 **thebettertomaz:** hey Ray add dragon care on the chore roster and we’ll see

 **rayofsunshine:** Yes!!!!

 **rayofsunshine:** And I’m giving the first shift to Mick.

 **rebecca:** yes haircut

 **trickstergoddess:** so, crisis averted dont you think

 **gayforray:** time to watch a show!

 **timemom:** In which room?

 **garebear:** ot3’s like usual?

 **darhkling:** we still have the bed

 **radtomaz:** obviously

 **trickstergoddess:** shotgun armchair

 **trickstergoddess:** z can sit on my lap ;)

 **thebettertomaz:** you’d love that

 **trickstergoddess:** of course

 **lancelot:** it’s not like u could sit any other way

 **thebettertomaz:** true

 **notkanye:** how to know someone’s gay: they can’t sit straight

 **notadick:** rt

 **darhkling:** rt

 **monalisa:** rt

 **gayforray:** rt

 **smartsnart:** we don’t even have twitter but let’s pretend

 **smartsnart:** rt

 **rebecca:** invent it, youll be rich

 **smartsnart:** hmmm 🤔

 **radtomaz:** did mick just have a good idea

 **rebecca:** rude

 **rebecca:** and dragon’s going with me

 **lancelot:** as long as he doesn’t _burn anything_

 **MamaWaverider:** That would be a lot of negative points.

 **gayforray:** shoot u didn’t forget??

 **darhkling:** ://

 **thebettertomaz:** do I get negative points

 **MamaWaverider:** You’ll see.

 **monalisa:** still love it

 **darhkling:** still lowkey terrified

 **notkanye:** cmon it can’t be that bad

 **notkanye:** what can she do

 **lancelot:** a lot

 **lancelot:** that’s what she can do, a _lot_

 **MamaWaverider:** I do operate this entire ship, and the chat as well.

**lancelot:** _see_

**timemom:** I love you, Lance, a lot.

 **lancelot:** asdfghjkl

 **lancelot:** <333

 **timemom:** <3

 **gayforray:** return of the iconic line!!!

 **gayforray:** and the others are here!!!

 **radtomaz:** [ _image attached_ : theyrlycantsitstraight.jpeg]

 **thebettertomaz:** shut up, b

 **trickstergoddess:** cos neither can you 😉


	157. plan avengers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry if u hate this crossover storyline fjffjffpkf but there's no going back now 
> 
> enjoy!

**2019/04/26  
10:26 pm**

**rayofsunshine:** That was _not_ better for the second time.

 **monalisa:** bih why did we think seeing it for the 2nd time  & in a real theater would be a good idea???

 **monalisa:** I’m THIS CLOSE

 **monalisa:** *shows like 1 mm space b/w fingers*

 **monalisa:** TO WOLFING OUT AND BREAKING SMTH

 **lancelot:** please don’t

 **lancelot:** but yeah seeing my bby die again was worse than an arrow thru the chest

 **thebettertomaz:** wasn’t that how you died

 **lancelot:** exactly

 **timemom:** Well, I’M not dying any time soon 😚

 **lancelot:** I’ll kill u myself if u die on me, got it

 **timemom:** Yeah

 **lancelot:** good

 **lancelot:** <3

 **gayforray:** avalance: from “baby ilysm” to “bitch I’ll kill u myself if u die on me”

 **notkanye:** GOALS

 **monalisa:** OTP

 **radtomaz:** MOOD

 **garebear:** TRUE LOV E

 **lancelot:** I didn’t say bitch but basically

 **lancelot:** AND I STILL LOVE HER SM

 **timemom:** Me too  <3

 **garebear:** me three

 **timemom:** Gary no.

 **gayforray:** 😂

 **gayforray:** also ray was right 😭

 **notkanye:** don’t think abt that!!!!

 **notkanye:** [ _audio attached_ : dangerouswoman.mp4]

 **notkanye:** avalance that’s u

 **monalisa:** ariana!!!!

 **thebettertomaz:** jdjffjf that song’s pretty dirty

 **lancelot:** IT’S US

 **rebecca:** exposed

 **notkanye:** ;)

 **notkanye:** so ur still in la?

 **rayofsunshine:** Yeah, everyone’s going to Lux.

 **notadick:** lucifers club?

 **rayofsunshine:** Yup.

 **lancelot:** with the rogues! can u believe it???

 **notkanye:** rogues??? what

 **thebettertomaz:** like those you fought

 **gayforray:** the Gothamites brought em

 **smartsnart:** your earth’s me was with them, right?

 **rebecca:** yeah

 **rebecca:** the better version of u

 **smartsnart:** …

 **jaxon:** ur roast

 **gayforray:** but they’re actually a fun bunch ajdjjdfks Mardon imitated the weather from the movie the whole time

 **radtomaz:** and this mr. nobody fellow was doing a fun commentary

 **gayforray:** it’s great when u don’t have to be enemies

 **rebecca:** yeah

 **darhkling:** they have a chat too

 **darhkling:** and I think they just added me to it???

 **rebecca:** hashtag former villains unite

 **notkanye:** u can just write the #

 **rebecca:**  🤷‍♂️

 **monalisa:** OMG

 **timemom:** Ok???

 **darhkling:** well anywho we’ve arrived at lux, ttyl losers

 **notkanye:** hahaha

 **notadick:** wow thanks,

 **rayofsunshine:** And tomorrow we have another show to make!!!

 **gayforray:** oh no we’ll be hungover af it’s gonna be a disaster

 

* * *

 

**2019/04/27  
9:31 am**

**gayforray:** oh no oh no oh no

 **darhkling:** yeahhh

 **darhkling:** I don’t think ill be able to put that dress on again

 **notkanye:** that’s just an excuse 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

 **notkanye:** u can do this!!!

 **lancelot:** for bruce and damian and the whole motherfucking world, we have to

 **gayforray:** but

 **gayforray:** ugh

 **trenchcoat:** For bollocks sake, pull yourself together

 **MamaWaverider:** Shall I fabricate my hangover soup?

 **gayforray:** Y E S

 **monalisa:** noah fence buddy but I think ur the only one who’s not fine

 **darhkling:** he’s not

 **darhkling:** and mona darling u don’t wanna piss ME off today

 **timemom:** So that’s only the two most important members of the show crew.

 **lancelot:** legends

 **lancelot:** SOUP UP

 **notkanye:** alsjsfjdnfdjsnfjdnfmsd

 **notkanye:** I’m

 **notkanye:** _soup up_

 **notadick:** fhffjfhf he is on the verge of tears

 **lancelot:** _what_ , ray’s not the only one who can make bad puns

 **rayofsunshine:** True.

 **lancelot:** and let’s GO, kitchen, NOW

 **thebettertomaz:** never gonna say no to that

 **lancelot:** and let’s plan our moves

 **trickstergoddess:** yes boss

 **gayforray:** ok let’s soup up

 

**10:49 pm**

**jaxon:** so?????

 **notkanye:** how’d it go

 **jaxon:** lmao did we just finish each others

 **notkanye:** text

 **jaxon:** fuck off 😂

 **monalisa:** IT WAS GREAT

 **monalisa:** THE PARK WAS FULL

 **monalisa:** BRUCE WAYNE WAS HERE

 **gayforray:** and Damian with Fury

 **notkanye:** photo?

 **thebettertomaz:** [ _image attached_ : dragonbuddies.jpeg]

 **notkanye:** dawwww

 **animalgirl:** And you’d said something about a documentary?

 **lancelot:** yeah!

 **lancelot:** there was a filming crew, lots of hype about everything, it was this whole thing

 **gayforray:** lots of kids in costumes again and GUESS WHAT

 **rayofsunshine:** They had Legends merch!!! The ATOM suit!!!

 **gayforray:** THE STEEL SUIT

 **lancelot:** the c a n a r y suit

 **darhkling:** I still had to put the awful ass fairy dress on but

 **darhkling:** ALL THAT MADE THE HANGOVER BETTER!!!

 **notkanye:** I don’t wanna say I told u so

 **notkanye:** but I TOLD U SO!!!! WOOOOO

 **radtomaz:** yeah yeah

 **radtomaz:** the movie will be like 15 mins long and it’ll air next sat at the gala for our park so BE THERE Y’ALL

 **jaxon:** yea we know it was in the big chat

 **radtomaz:** ok be like that I guess

 **jaxon:** lmao

 **notadick:** someone will send that to us right 👀

 **gayforray:** hmm idk

 **notkanye:** I helped u capture fury I DESERVE to see that

 **notkanye:** or… will help u but still

 **notadick:** that’s in like a month?

 **lancelot:** it was may 23

 **lancelot:** or will be, this shit is wild

 **notkanye:** yeah 😂

 **notkanye:** well I’m looking fwd to it!!!

 **timemom:** We’ll send you the movie.

 **notadick:** ty time mom

 **notkanye:** bless

 **gayforray:** but now…

 **gayforray:** PLAN AVENGERS

 **garebear:** or as I like to call it… Plan A

 **gayforray:** GOOD ONE GARY

 **lancelot:** so

 **lancelot:** if there’s one thing our time-traveling adventures taught us

 **rebecca:** we screw things up for the better

 **lancelot:** that too but no 😂

 **timemom:** They killed a version of Thanos from 2014, created a new timeline by doing so, and stayed in the old one, but over time a new hybrid timeline will establish itself and none of it will have happened, except the people who _fought_ in the battle will still remember everything. Tony and Nat will still die, because they’re the ones who caused the new timeline to happen in the first place.

 **timemom:** We’ve seen it with Barry, his daughter, Thawne, Zari and Behrad…

 **lancelot:** pretty much

 **lancelot:** like, it’s a double loop that will break and carry out differently from that point

 **lancelot:** which is 2014 _and_ 2023 in this case

 **timemom:** The fact that we’re changing the future here helps.

 **radtomaz:** like this whole business with zari and me

 **radtomaz:** like u said

 **thebettertomaz:** yeah

 **timemom:** Exactly.

 **lancelot:** we figured out as much

 **lancelot:** so we need to save only tony and nat

 **lancelot:** gamora  & vision & the asgardians will just… be there like they never died like with behrad here and everyone will be none the wiser

 **lancelot:** the avengers will (probz) have dual memories like us, of a timeline where the big fight happened and stuff ,and of one where it didn’t

 **trenchcoat:** We know all about that now

 **thebettertomaz:** guess our weird timeline fuckup was good for at least something

 **lancelot:** right 👉👉

 **lancelot:** it’s easy af

 **timemom:** We also let Gideon compare the timeline data and she agrees.

 **MamaWaverider:** It was an AI council kind of issue, but yes, essentially.

 **gayforray:** so there’s a marvel earth confirmation????

 **gayforray:** noice

 **rayofsunshine:** Marvel might’ve said time travel doesn’t work like that, but they don’t have years of experience like us!

 **notkanye:** so wouldn’t it just… fix itself in the end?

 **gayforray:** no like Ava said, time needs the second snap and all that to happen cause the divergent timeline wouldn’t be created without that and……

 **gayforray:** it’s a fucking mess

 **darhkling:** yeah

 **thebettertomaz:** so we’ll just bring Tony back after he died…?

 **thebettertomaz:** but what about Natasha

 **trenchcoat:** When Cap goes back to return the soul stone, he can bargain for her return with the right words

 **lancelot:** yeah no you’re coming with us

 **trenchcoat:** Do I have to

 **lancelot:** yes

 **thebettertomaz:** still magic, even it’s a different earth

 **darhkling:** like, I literally have our version of the time stone

 **darhkling:** the fact we didn’t find the others doesn’t mean they don’t exist somewhere in space or whatever

 **garebear:** u know what that means????

 **garebear:** aliens are probably real 👀👽

 **rayofsunshine:** We already know the Asgardians are real…

 **darhkling:** which… brings me to this

 **darhkling:** I COULD LITERALLY BE LIKE STRANGE

 **darhkling:** IM A WITCH AND HAVE THE STONE

 **darhkling:** HE COULD TEACH ME

 **darhkling:** IMAGINE THE POSSIBILITIES

 **darhkling:** I COULD MAKE BREACHES LIKE CISCO BUT THE COOL ORANGE ONES

 **gayforray:** !!!!!!!!!

 **gayforray:** I HAVEN’T THOGUHT OF THAT DJSNFJGHNJJFN

 **rayofsunshine:** MY BABY!!!!!!!!

 **rayofsunshine:** WOW

 **lancelot:** omfg that’s?

 **lancelot:** true?

 **thebettertomaz:** N O R A

 **thebettertomaz:** that would make u like the most powerful person here

 **radtomaz:** umm

 **trickstergoddess:** u still dunno about everything I can do but ;)

 **monalisa:** AAAAAAAAAAAA

 **timemom:** Nora Darhk, former enemy of the state, now Time Bureau agent and Sorceress Supreme :’)

 **rayofsunshine:** I’ve never been prouder of anyone in my life.

 **gayforray:** rly…?

 **gayforray:** BUT YEAH ME TOO

 **rayofsunshine:** I LOVE YOU BOTH OKAY,.

 **darhkling:** fjfhfhfjf

 **darhkling:** you’re amazing u know that

 **animalgirl:** So are you.

 **lancelot:** OK BUT

 **lancelot:** we haven’t even done anything

 **lancelot:** and that reminds me:

 **lancelot:** we also need cisco cuz nora _can’t_ make breaches yet and raven cuz she can bring ppl back from the dead and also has magic

 **trenchcoat:** So I don’t have to come with ya after all

 **lancelot:** I guess (┛ಸ_ಸ)┛彡┻━┻

 **gayforray:** you’d miss it???

 **trenchcoat:** I don’t particularly care about it

 **garebear:** HOW CAN U

 **garebear:** THIS IS THE COOLEST THING EVER TO HAPPEN TO ME

 **garebear:** AND I’M _YOUR_ BOYFRIEND

 **monalisa:** smoke him gary

 **notadick:** 😂

 **monalisa:** also

 **monalisa:** when exactly is this whole thing happening????

 **timemom:** We don’t know yet.

 **lancelot:** we literally have time travel so that’s the least of our concerns lmao

 **monalisa:** lmao

 **smartsnart:** will u ever stop procrastinating ur asses off

 **thebettertomaz:** nope

 **gayforray:** we should go to sleep now heh

 **rayofsunshine:** But I’m literally too excited to sleep.

 **darhkling:** me too

 **darhkling:**  👀

 **gayforray:** hmmmm

 **darhkling:** hmmm

 **rayofsunshine:** I like what you’re getting at.

 **monalisa:** oh no

 **rebecca:** get some

 **trickstergoddess:** u deserve it 😉

 **trickstergoddess:** wanna hop in the hot tub @thebettertomaz

 **thebettertomaz:** why not

 **trickstergoddess:** brilliant  <3

 **radtomaz:** so I’ll just go to sleep and contemplate time travel ig 😅

 **monalisa:** same?

 **timemom:** Well, let’s call it a night before this gets any more heated.

 **lancelot:** good idea babe

 **notkanye:** good night fam

 **notkanye:** it’s currently 2 pm here and imma go meditate

 **notadick:** ok perfect

 **garebear:** good night!!!

 **garebear:** now what about you and me, John, wanna hop into the sheets 😉

 **trenchcoat:** As long as we forget time travel and focus on the magic bits…

 **garebear:** adkfnfjf

 **garebear:** perfect idea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dc time travel is awful and makes no sense but add marvel time travel to it omfg it's _worse_ (but i still love doing this cos tony  & nat & loki are my favourite marvel characters _and they're all literally dead like wtf_ so yeah. this and oliver's death, i'm fixing it)
> 
> pls leave ur thoughts in comments!!! i hardly get those anymore and it sucks :')


	158. [interlude] café

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> getting the rescue team together, planning the meeting, and more: [big fic chapter 68](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17384027/chapters/45526567#workskin)
> 
> enjoy!

Time Bureau HQ, two days later. That was the designated meeting point of their little rescue team—then why the hell were the Legends the only ones there, five minutes after twelve?

_Don’t be late_. Right.

Sara checked the time on her phone again. She’d expect punctuality from Bruce at least.

‘Relax, babe, they’ll be here,’ Ava said. She squeezed her shoulder. ‘They probably had some issues that needed dealing with and it’ll all be fine—’

‘Look, there they are!’ Sara spun on her heel to see where Ray was pointing, and _finally_ , that overly enthusiastic face of one Kara Danvers whose arm was hooked into that of one equally enthusiastic Barry Allen graced them with their otherworldly presence. Bruce and Oliver, wearing matching unimpressed scowls, walked behind them, and finally, Cisco chatting with Rachel, the two crucial pieces on the chessboard, tailed about 30 feet behind those two.

Zari cast an annoyed glance their way. Sara felt that deeply. Nate, on the other hand, ‘Hi, guys! Wow, it’s so great to see you again!’

Kara shouted a long-drawn _hi_ and no explanation as to where they’ve been whatsoever.

Ray and Zari joined Nate in the cheery welcoming. Sara couldn’t help but put her hands on her hips. ‘All the goddamn _hypocrisy_ …’ Ava smirked at that. Sara saw something along the lines of, “ _and who was late to every single meet-up? Us, and it definitely wasn’t my fault_ ” in it. ‘Yeah, I know, I know.’

She grabbed Ava’s hand and walked to meet their friends halfway.

‘So,’ Oliver said, ‘here we are. You’d said you wanted to, uh, grab a coffee?’

‘And the ice cream,’ added Kara. ‘I’m _not_ planning how to save a universe without ice cream. Nuh uh.’

Nate nodded vigorously. ‘Coffee would be _great_. We’ve been up all night—’

‘Because of _science_ ,’ Ray ever so helpfully supplied. At least he had the decency to look flustered. Sara had the decency not to roll her eyes.

‘Yup, they were all thinking that. So, coffee?’ Nate squinted and looked around, uselessly searching for a café nearby. The closest one that offered drinkable coffee, rather than just overpriced brown water, was two blocks away.

Ava saved him by clearing her throat and pointing in its direction. ‘That way. They have ice cream, too.’

Kara made a noise of delight, and Rachel said, ‘Yes please.’

There was no planning how to save a universe without ice cream indeed.

Sara left Ava in the lead and stayed behind to walk next to Bruce and Oliver. Their gloomy expressions were ruining the whole mood, and honestly? She missed their little (sometimes ridiculous, even) conversations. ‘Kara or Barry?’ she asked with a snicker. She didn’t need to add that she was referring to the person who’d convinced them to come.

‘Kara,’ Oliver replied, and Bruce hummed in agreement.

‘Knew it. She can be _really_ persistent.’

‘She said a little getaway from the children can’t hurt,’ Bruce finally spoke, ‘and she was right.’

From the front of the group, they could all hear her, ‘Damn right I was! Can’t be a get-together without Bruce and Ollie.’

Speaking of get-togethers, ‘So everyone agrees with the plan?’ There was a series of nods and more affirmative humming. ‘Great! So I guess we can just go over the details, polish it, talk it out, yadda yadda. _And_ I think I’ll let Aves get on it, ‘cause she’s _much_ better at explaining this stuff than I am.’

‘Naww, you’re so _cute_ ,’ Cisco cooed, and firstly, Sara wanted to smack him on the head for that, but he was also inevitably _right_. (See? She was _sappy_.)

Ava shook her head. ‘No, Sara, you’re a great—’

‘But you’re better, Aves, don’t pretend like you’re not! I also know for a fact that you love patronising annoying people.’ The grin was _audible_ in her voice.

‘Hey!’ Cisco said, not particularly offended. Almost everyone laughed.

They arrived at the café—but the smell of freshly ground coffee beans had given it away about a block away. It intensified manifold once they entered the place. It wasn’t even full, despite the rush hour, so they quickly found two nice tables at the back and then went to get their orders.

Once they sat down and started nibbling on some homemade ice cream, Rachel cleared her throat. ‘So, how will this plan work, exactly?’

Sara and Ava exchanged a series of _looks_ the others looked in on with amusement. In the end, Ava took the lead. ‘So we will use the time courier to get to 2023 and then Cisco will open a breach and get us all on Earth-616,’ she began. ‘And by _we_ I mean him, Rachel, Sara, and me. Everyone else will be back up, you could say.’

Nate took a sip of his double espresso. ‘That’s the easy part.’

‘Yeah, figures,’ Cisco snorted. ‘When?’

‘After the gala. This weekend.’

‘ _This weekend_?’

‘If that’s all right with everyone,’ Sara said. There was silence. ‘Guess that’s a yes.’

‘So that’s that! We’ll be saving those guys this weekend.’ Ava sipped at her coffee; no doubt for a dramatic pause, Sara thought. ‘Now, to the rest of the plan…’


	159. [special chapter] endgame

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY FOR THE LACK OF UPDATES DNKNFJDFNF i meant to post this on tuesday lmao but then i got a bit of a block and couldn't do it, so i started writing a chat version of this and posted that in the other fic first: [chapters 70-72](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17384027/chapters/45650356#workskin). idc what order you read it in but i suggest you read BOTH!!!!!!! 
> 
> if you're here for the endgame fix-it: it's very dc-centric (obviously) (sorry) but i hope you like it! and yes, i'm aware mcu isn't set on earth-616, but you should know that i don't care. for the sake of the dc multiverse, it just is. 
> 
> enjoy!

It was Saturday, 4 May. Once again, the team met up at Time Bureau Headquarters.

Sara, Ava, Rachel, and Cisco—or, as they liked to call themselves, A-Force of Earth-1 (it was Cisco’s idea, so no, definitely not transphobic, thank you very much)—found each other at the car park in front of the building at 12:06 p.m., because someone always had to be late.

‘The multiverse traffic is weirdly busy today!’ Cisco argued, and he had _no idea._

Sara and Ava just shook their heads, although smiling. ‘It’s okay; we _do_ have time couriers on our wrists.’

Warm May wind ruffled their hair and blew away their laughter. The atmosphere was nice. It would not be on the other side. Cisco rocked on his feet. ‘Okay, so,’ he said, breathing in and out. ‘Are you guys ready? ‘Cause I’m totally not ready.’

The quartet shared glances filled with trepidation and anxiety as well as that kind of perky excitement you get when you visit a parallel universe. Sara took Ava’s hand. Squeezed. Let it go. She said, ‘Right now you’re a Legend, and what do Legends do?’

‘Jump headfirst into every adventure, screw stuff up, and somehow fix everything in the end?’

‘Exactly.’ She nudged him. ‘So yeah, let’s do this, and let’s do it with style!’

‘Okay. Let’s do it,’ Rachel parroted with a deep exhale. She brushed a nonexistent thread off her cape.

Cisco nodded. He put his goggles on and readied his arms. Sara could still feel his uncertainty, but there was a hint of that excited smile on his lips. ‘Earth-616, here we go!’

A burst of blue energy came out of his hands and formed the familiar shape of a whirling multidimensional breach. He stepped through, Rachel right after him. This time it was Ava who grabbed Sara’s hand, and together, they joined the duo.

 

* * *

 

New York. They were in New York, and the first thing they saw was the posters advertising the same thing: Steve Rogers’ support group for those who had lost their loved ones in the Snap.

Then there was the mess, the litter, the empty shops and distrustful looks from the few passers-by who had no doubt seen their arrival. Sara’s grip onto Ava’s hand tightened. She had not seen anything like this even during her days in the League of Assassins.

The film didn’t count. It _couldn’t_ , because it could hardly measure up to being here and seeing it in person. A shiver crawled down her spine.

‘This is, wow,’ Ava whispered. ‘I knew it was going to be horrible, but I didn’t actually imagine—Christ.’

But this was 2019. They were four years too early. ‘We need to move,’ Sara said.

‘I could fix this with my powers, I could—’ Rachel blurted out, ‘I could _do something_.’ Her eyes darted around the street and took it all in. Her brain was making up ways to undo this damage.

With a final squeeze, Ava let go of Sara’s hand and walked up to her. ‘We can’t,’ she said. ‘We have other things to focus on.’

Sara thought for a second. She’s been here too, at the beginning. The power of time travel was infinite and _very_ tempting, and had it not been for Rip and the rest of the team, well… But with great power came great responsibility, and they had to be the responsible ones here. That quote came from this universe, after all.

‘I know exactly how you feel, Rachel, but this isn’t our place to meddle with. We have to let this go.’

A woman with a little girl tugging at her hand scowled at them, standing in the middle of the street in their costumes. Cisco took his goggles off. ‘And if I got it right—and I always get things right, mind—this timeline will cease to exist soon enough anyway. There’s nothing we can do but get the hell outta here.’

‘I know, but—’

‘Babe, set the courier.’

Ava did. Gideon had given them, after a brief consultation with the 2023 version of FRIDAY, the time and coordinates with a claim of 78.9% accuracy, so she made a quick job out of opening the portal. One last push of a button, and the air around them buzzed like static electricity, except instead of electric charge, there were tachyons and thousands of tiny rifts being torn into the time continuum, all at once.

 

* * *

  

They stared into the not-so-quite faces of a few rather shocked Outriders, who were on the ground not a second after that. It was great having a half-demon on the hypothetical board.

What was less great was being _early_. The battle was still in progress. So much for accuracy.

‘Well, at least we got the place right,’ Cisco threw his goggles back on and flung breaches around with the same ease and familiarity he had when battling Central City’s metahumans. No matter the universe or situation, it was his second nature.

As was Rachel’s.

Sara and Ava were more concerned about their position in the whole scheme of things. The Avengers Compound was definitely _that way_ —Sara squinted at the burning remains of a building—and there was a smouldering spaceship the other way—Carol’s work—but that wasn’t the matter. The most important part was finding a place to _hide_.

They ducked behind what might have been a rock a few feet on their left.

(The Legends, were, maybe, just a little bit, cowardly. So what? It wasn’t like they wanted to _die_. Again.  They were here to _save_ other people from dying.)

Except. Except there was a voice that was all too familiar to everyone, and the owner of that voice stood right behind them. ‘Who are you?’

There was a lot of that today, Sara gathered, so she merely said, ‘Help.’ She pulled out her bo staff and knocked an Outrider out cold, gaining momentum from a spin. She stared into Bucky Barnes’ face.

He shot another creature without looking at it, and in the next moment, Sam Wilson came flying from the sky, firing at anything and everything that moved and wasn’t human or friendly alien.

For a moment there, Cisco paused mid-breaching, and his jaw dropped.

‘Pull it together,’ Sara hissed, loud enough for him to hear. Next to her, Ava shot a creature. Cisco closed his mouth and wondered whether the four of them were fictional in this world, too. He wouldn’t put it past them.

‘Hi,’ he gave an awkward wave.

‘Hi. That one’s about to get you,’ Bucky replied.

Almost too late, Cisco transported the thing somewhere into the vacuum of space. He didn’t have much time to aim the breach. In addition to that, the sounds of thrusters, gunfire, and growling came from everywhere around and made it _really_ hard to focus.

He avoided being blasted into atoms and ran off.

Sara texted the group she’d made—the leaders and the rescue team, you know, to keep everyone updated—and looked around. Bucky was shooting more creatures nearby. Sam had flown away. However, she could see something far larger and more magnificent emerge near the shipwreck. It was a Pegasus, and on it sat Valkyrie and Spider-Man, clutching at the Infinity Gauntlet.

‘Wow,’ she mouthed at Ava.

‘I know,’ she mouthed back. ‘It’s beautiful.’

She, of course, meant the Pegasus, while Sara talked about both it and its glorious rider.

They soon moved out of sight, and the two women were devoid of entertainment other than occasionally killing those ugly monsters and talking on the group chat. Bruce suggested they should come out of hiding. Right.

It was both a sensible and terrible idea. They stayed hidden.

Cisco, on the other hand, opened a giant breach by the broken dam and sucked the tornado of water held together by Doctor Strange (holy shit it’s Benedict Cumberbatch!) inside, hoping it would empty into a drying lake somewhere in Africa. The lyrics of _Africa_ popped up in his mind.

Strange gave him a nod of recognition.

‘You saw us coming, didn’t you?’ Cisco asked, gritting his teeth. His hands began to ache.

‘I’ve seen 14,000,065 possible outcomes of this fight, so of course I did, _Vibe_ ,’ the wizard said with the smug look of someone who thought he knew everything. And he probably did. ‘I counted on it.’

‘Cool.’ Cisco grinned despite of himself. Strange helped him stabilise the breach.

Rachel released the demonic darkness inside her and let it fight, destroy, kill. She had it (mostly) under control now, so the power did what she told it to do and never harmed anyone who was an ally. And did they notice!

She was fighting on their side, though, so no one asked any questions. Not that there was much time for that. She wound up joining the cluster of superheroines protecting Peter Parker and the Gauntlet.

But Thanos was inevitably getting close. And the worst thing? Letting it happen, letting him beat the Avengers and Guardians up, for the sake of timeline preservation.

 

* * *

 

Thanos reclaimed the Gauntlet. He was about to Snap again.

Then, only then, came the time to come out of the cover, which was _not_ a rock but rather a large piece of concrete formerly making a wall at the Compound, as it turned out. Sara and Ava ran across the battlefield, towards the eye of the storm.

The Snap didn’t work. Tony Stark revealed his own Iron Gauntlet, a part of his armour, bearing all six stones. ‘I… am… Iron Man,’ he said. With a truly iron will, _he_ Snapped.

Thanos’ entire army evaporated. Then it was the Mad Titan’s turn.

Sara captured the whole affair on video and sent it to the chat.

Tony collapsed in pain. Rachel was running. Cisco and Strange came out of an orange portal. This time, anyone hardly noticed that Sara and Ava, complete strangers, or even people whom everyone on this earth knew to be fictional characters from television series, stood next to Pepper and Peter and Rhodey.

Until they did.

Pepper kneeled next to her husband, who was in agony yet smiled, and held his hand. She comforted him. Herself. She thought she was going to lose him forever.

Strange elbowed his way to the pair. ‘It’s all right, Tony. Let them help,’ he said with an unusual softness in his voice. His eyes pointed at Rachel and Sara and Ava.

Peter’s eyes widened in shock when he saw them. His jaw hung open a second later.

‘I can explain—’ Sara began. Ava gripped her arm, _Don’t. They know._

‘You can save him?’ asked Pepper.

Rachel kneeled on his other, fatally injured, side. She nodded and closed her eyes.

Pulling someone back to life wasn’t all that difficult when it came down to it, for a demon, or half-demon anyway. Tony Stark wasn’t even dead yet. To her, healing him was like kicking a vending machine to give her a packet of crisps that got stuck. Only the kick came from her hands and mind and would take up so much energy she’d need to eat at least a bucket of hot wings with fries afterwards, and take a nap for an hour or eight.

 

* * *

 

Peter, still staring at Sara, Ava, and Cisco (who was actually having a conversation with Shuri right now; mostly about building tech and fixing broken white boys, because that was their thing, and the fact they both viewed each other as fictional was entirely insubstantial right now; it meant they _knew_ , and come on, Raven will save Tony in a minute anyway), asked, incredulously, ‘Are you from DC?’

Ava’s expression almost mirrored his. ‘How do you know we came from D.C.?’

‘We _did_ because we _live there_ , but yeah,’ Sara added. Was that something to do with the collision of mutually fictional worlds? Probably. She wanted to know more.

‘No I meant DC Comics, or actually you’re not in the comics, only on _Arrow_ and _Legends of Tomorrow_ , but anyway it’s nice to meet you, I’m Peter!’

His cheeks flushed. Sara blinked. Hang on, _DC Comics_?

‘What did you say?’ Ava asked.

‘DC Comics? No? Well I suppose you wouldn’t know when you’re from them… are you from Earth-1?’

‘Yeah, we are,’ Sara said. Their theory was finally fully confirmed, then. Wasn’t this fun!

‘Cool.’ Peter grinned. ‘I don’t know how you got here or anything but thank you for saving my dad—I mean Tony, I mean Mr Stark—’

Cisco was listening too, now. He laughed. Ava said, ‘Don’t thank us. It’s what we do.’

‘I know!’

Sara typed the exchange into her phone at a speed even Barry would be impressed with. The reactions were all in caps lock, and honestly? So were her thoughts. She could only imagine what Cisco was going through.

‘So how many TV shows about us are there, exactly?’ she voiced Oliver’s question.

‘Well, if I count _Batwoman_ , I think nine?’ He counted on his fingers. ‘Yeah, nine. And _Swamp Thing_. And some more I guess, I need to catch up on everything. Oh my god, I must’ve missed so much.’

‘So you’re a fan, huh?’ Cisco asked.

Peter just grinned again. ‘Yeah.’ Then his eyes found the phone and an unmistakable sight of a chatting app. ‘You’re talking to the others right now? On your earth?’

‘Yeah,’ Sara said, and didn’t even mention the bit that the others were currently in 2019. ‘Do the Avengers have group chats?’

‘Lots and lots.’ He inched closer to her. ‘Do you mind…?’

Sara handed him the phone. There was bound to be a disaster. But the Legends excelled at those.

Under his breath, he muttered something like, ‘I’m holding Sara Lance’s phone…’

 

* * *

  

Rachel took a selfie with Tony Stark, who was, miraculously, in a better physical and medical condition than he was ten years ago. Everyone should try a bit of this demonic healing sometimes, really.

She wasn’t in such a good state right now—she wiped sweat off of her forehead and staggered to a stand—but it was well worth it. He survived. He got up. He kissed Pepper and hugged Rhodey and flashed an appreciative smile at Strange and, lastly, gave Peter another welcoming hug. He thought of Morgan, his beautiful, brilliant daughter, now safe in this new Thanos-less world.

Half of the mission accomplished.

Then he stretched his previously burnt fingers, now perfectly fine and functional, if a little dirty. No scars. He wondered what else she could do. ‘Wow,’ he said. ‘Thanks, kid. How exactly did you do that? ‘Cause with powers like that, I could sign you up with the Avengers right now.’

A thin smile played at her lips. ‘Thank you, but I already have a team,’ she said, and she wouldn’t give them up for the Avengers if the world was ending. Which it almost did, today. ‘And I’m, well, not entirely human.’

Tony got that. He looked her up and down and asked, ‘Didn’t I see you somewhere before?’

‘Yeah, that’s possible.’ She could feel his mind, rattling at incredible speed, and lots and lots of emotions and _pain_. She felt a little weaker. ‘My friends will explain,’ she vaguely nodded in their direction, ‘but right now I could use a nap…’

Her eyes were already closing. Strange caught her with his magic.

Ava cleared her throat. ‘So I’m guessing everyone has questions.’ There was a series of nods. More and more Avengers and non-Avengers alike closed in on their little tired, sweaty group. ‘And we’ll get to them in due time. We’re here to help. But first, is there anywhere we can move from here?’

‘Parts of the Compound are still functional,’ said Carol, who’d had a good view of it from above.

Thankfully.

They would need to round up the damage, both material and physical, and do a body count, and get Damage Control to clean and fix this place up, and get rid of the goddamn spaceship wreck somehow, but first and foremost, they needed a shower, food, a bit of sleep, and some answers. Not necessarily in that order.

Between Pepper and Vision (see how nicely time started to adjust to the changes made by killing a version of Thanos from 2014? it was as if he never died, and in the minds of everyone but the Earth-1 team, he _didn’t_ ), Peter typed away on Sara’s phone, engrossed in a chat with _her_ superhero team.

 

* * *

  

It was a collective decision that they would go and return the Stones (Rachel and Stephen pried them off the Gauntlet after breakfast) to their original locations the next day (coincidentally a Saturday again).

See, it would have been much, _much_ later in the original timeline, in the one where Tony died and the time machine was destroyed beyond repair, but that was then and this was now. That timeline didn’t exist anymore.

This timeline had the Time Bureau’s two time couriers. Time travel was simpler than going shopping with those handy little things—or so Ava told Steve, who was, just as before, the one to volunteer for the trip down literal memory lane.

‘You set the date and coordinates and push these two buttons simultaneously,’ she pointed at the little knobs on the sides of the rather unusual wristwatch, ‘and it opens a door to another time. Though don’t ask me how it actually works; we don’t know much. That would be our tech guy.’

‘They’re from the 22nd century,’ Sara supplied. ‘We just use them at the Bureau.’

‘Right,’ he said, and didn’t actually need to remember any of that, because the four of them were going with him anyway. So he didn’t ask.

 

There had been a question, all right, after the meagre dinner they’d had the day before, but it had been less about how to time travel and more about a person to time travel to. Ava had said something in the lines of, ‘No, you can’t stay in the past with Peggy, it’s against the regulations, and do you want to fracture an already unstable timeline even more?’

He knew she was right. The reason he’d asked was mainly the hope of confirming his suspicions, in fact. Seeing her there, in that office, had stirred up a dust cloud of memories, and wishes, and dances he couldn’t have, but deep down, he just _knew_ it wouldn’t be right if he stayed in the 70s with her.

Peggy must have had a life, too. Husband even, probably, and children. It has been thirty years since he crashed that plane. One was bound to move on.

He knew Sara was right about the extra bit of unsolicited advice, too, ‘And besides, isn’t there a certain _someone_ worth staying in the present for? Someone with, say, long brown hair and one less arm than usual? Someone you got into all this mess for in the first place? Someone who, indisputably, loves you back and don’t play dumb with us we know everything and we know you’re not straight like come on, it’s 2023 and no one needs to hide it anymore and it’s _always_ been there.’

 

Okay, rewind, back to the present.

Tony stared at the small device in astonishment. Their (his) way of time travel included a roomful of apparatuses and special suits and Pym Particles, and then there were these two women who used a fucking _wristwatch_ and worked for a government organisation called the _Time Bureau_.

And, apparently, owned a time ship not dissimilar to the TARDIS when it came to the interior, but the ship was too big to bring along, they’d said. Why couldn’t they come in 2018 and tell Thor to go for the head, again?

(Time travel didn’t work like that. Except they’d been wrong about that before. It _did_ work like that. There was this fuzzy, vague memory of _someone_ dying nagging at his mind, but he couldn’t quite work his head around it, because _new timelines_.)

Sara might or might not have filmed the colourful sequence of Tony’s reactions.

The other occupants of the one sitting room that managed to survive the aerial attack relatively unharmed—Clint, Scott, Hope, Wanda, Vision, Carol, Rhodey, Peter, Valkyrie, Bucky, and Sam—didn’t even pretend to try and understand it. Bruce might, but he was outside, moving blocks of wall and metal and furniture away. Someone had to, and it was a great way of clearing one’s head, he’d said. Strange and his Eye of Agamotto were helping.

‘Okay, are we ready?’ Sara asked. The intended recipients were mostly Steve and her part of the team.

‘As ready as we can be,’ said Steve. He got up and looked around the room, feeling as important as ever.

‘Yeahhhh,’ Cisco stretched his arms out like a cat, ‘there’s nothing better than going to unfamiliar planets after breakfast, _nine years in the past_.’ That earned a snort from Sam and a half-smirk from Tony.

Rachel unfolded her legs and got up from the floor. She stood between Steve and Cisco. Ava was still trying to work out whether opening a breach inside the portal would _really_ work, which meant they were as ready as it got. She placed a gentle hand on Sara’s back. The two of them stood on Steve’s other side, forming a nice line.

Sara handed Peter her phone again. ‘Take a photo of our star team so we can have something to remember this by twenty years from now, will ya?’

‘Say “time heist”,’ he said, and took three photos, just in case.

Not that anyone could ever forget this (unless someone rewrote the timeline again, which would be very unfortunate indeed).

Sara flashed him a set of finger guns and a “thanks, Pete”. She sent the first picture to the chat and readied her time courier. Then she looked at Ava, whose hand still rested on her shoulder. It was nice and comforting and she wanted her never to let go.

‘Is it weird that all this,’ she gestured around the room, ‘doesn’t feel any different from our regular missions, like, not really?’

‘You know, babe, I kinda feel the same way?’ Ava whispered. At the heart of things, it was _exactly_ like your regular Legends, or Time Bureau, mission, the only difference being the parallel universe. And the returning of objects to the past rather than retrieving them. ‘I thought there would be more… glory to this.’

‘I mean, it’s the Avengers, right?’

‘What about us?’ asked Steve.

‘Oh, nothing,’ said Sara and Ava in unison. Ava then added, ‘Let’s go.’

Everything was set and ready.

She took a deep breath and pressed those buttons on her courier. A portal whooshed open and cut a hole in time and space; a version of New York from nine years ago, right after the Battle, lay in front of them. There was debris and smoke, but the sky was blue with an odd cloud rather than dark.

‘We’ll be back in five seconds,’ Steve said. He smiled at Bucky, and it was a promise. Bucky smiled back. Everyone noticed.

He squeezed the handle of his briefcase and stepped through. Tony, once again, stared. He wasn’t the only one.

 

* * *

  

They had to wipe the memories of a few Hydra agents after they returned the Mind Stone.

They did not need to do so after they returned the Time Stone to the Ancient One. Everything would be safe with her, she assured them, and then she invited them in for a few words and perhaps some tea. They refused. She, having known about it all along, understood.

‘Give Stephen Strange my regards,’ she said before they opened another portal right in front of her, and smiled. She might not approve of this kind of time travel, but she was hardly surprised.

‘We will,’ said Steve. They disappeared in 1970.

 

* * *

  

This was where the easy part of the mission ended. Good thing Ava had had Gideon fabricate a S.H.I.E.L.D. identification card for everyone before they had left the Waverider, back in 2019.

By everyone, she meant Steve Rogers and herself.

Five people going in, one being a teenager besides, that would be suspicious. Two were perfectly all right and just like before when Steve had been here with Tony, as inconspicuous as it got. You just needed an eagle logo-bearing hat to go with the IDs.

After they returned the Tesseract and Steve grabbed his old (new?) shield from the same storage (it was just lying there, come on, it was practically begging for it) good twelve minutes later, they wiped the memories of Hank Pym and seven other agents who had decided to ask questions.

This was still _relatively_ easy, what with the IDs and hats. It would only get worse from there.

 

* * *

  

They needed a portal _and_ a breach into space, the next time. The thing about time couriers was that while they could open anywhere and any _when_ on earth, they only opened on _Earth_ —one Earth, to be precise, no multiverse travelling with that thing—so it was up to Cisco to get them on Asgard once they found themselves in 2013.

Steve hadn’t actually been on Asgard when they got the Reality Stone (or rather, liquid substance) out of Jane’s body, so this particular mission ended up being Rachel’s department. He came with Cisco and her to return Mjolnir, which neither of them, to their disappointment, managed to so much as move.

Sara and Ava stayed in New York. They bought corndogs.

Most of this part of the mission depended on a general _feeling_ that Rachel would know what to do with the Stone. Call it even a _hunch_ , if you will. They were aware of the odds. Thor had explained everything five times at least beforehand, though, so there should be nothing to worry about, and, well, the Earth-1 party _had_ watched the movie.

Notice the _should_.

The Asgardian army had not, regrettably, been briefed on the plan, because they had only stopped chasing Rocket and future-Thor escaping with the Aether thirty seconds ago. Two dozen spears pointed at the trio. Cisco cursed under his breath.

‘Use the memory wipe thing,’ Rachel hissed. ‘I can put them to sleep.’

‘Uhh, yeah, right.’ For a moment there, he forgot he was holding the clever device in his left hand. He pointed it at the soldiers in front of them. To Rachel and Steve, he said, ‘Close your eyes, just in case, you know, _Men In Black_ …’

They didn’t actually need to, strictly speaking, but they did anyway. A white flash and momentary confusion allowed her to put her powers to good use. Golden armour clattered as all the soldiers collapsed onto the marble floor.

They just need to find Jane and use the same trick on a few more unaware Asgardians. Easy peasy.

‘Any idea where should I leave this?’ Steve asked and lifted the hammer. Thor had failed to mention where he’d taken it from.

‘Just leave it here somewhere; Thor will find it anyway.’

Cisco had a point. He gently propped it against a pillar and properly studied the chamber for the first time. Oh, how majestic it would look in a painting! The architecture, the ceilings, the doors!

He recognised the large, beautifully embellished one ahead of them from Thor’s descriptions. The way to Jane was through.

‘Let’s move before they wake up.’

They found her rooms rather quickly and only needed to put someone to sleep twice. Then, somehow, inexplicably, Rachel transferred the Aether back into Jane. Not even she could say she knew how she did it; something tugged at her, a force, a powerful pull, and she let it guide her hands. The Aether wanting to be inside its host—as much as an object, divine or not, could want something—proved to be an immense help, too.

Cisco created a breach right there in the room, and all three of them went through it. Sara and Ava were only halfway through their corndogs, and they were holding hands.

Four Stones returned, two to go.

 

* * *

 

They decided on going to Morag first—and come to think of it, _this one_ was actually the simplest task. It was an in and out of a Temple Vault, where a still unconscious Peter Quill lay on the ground. Cisco went alone. The whole gig only took him about fifteen seconds.

Quill woke up two minutes later and grabbed the Orb. The rest was history.

 

* * *

 

Then, finally, all five of them travelled on Vormir, the home of the Soul Stone.

‘This isn’t gonna be easy,’ Cisco told Steve, and meant Red Skull. Clint had told them.

‘When is something ever easy?’

Sara scoffed. ‘Something’s wrong when things go easy if you ask me.’ Every Legend would vouch for that. It was the universe’s way of fucking with people, really. Or God’s. Or someone’s, anyway.

(The gods were, indeed, keeping an eye on this particular strip of the multiverse right now. Finally, there was something exciting on telly!)

‘Yeah,’ Cisco agreed. And thus far, things have mostly been _way_ too easy. Even the more difficult parts.

Either way, they had to face the Stone’s guardian and hope for his kindness, or rather neutrality, on the matter of a soul of one Natasha Romanoff.

Steve, Rachel, and Ava walked towards the cliff and an unpleasant conversation. Cisco breached Sara and himself underneath.

The body was still there. Still warm. It couldn’t have been more than a minute.

Soul for a soul: that was the basic premise. According to that logic, it would only be fair if her soul returned to them after they gave the Stone back. The universe didn’t quite work like that—but add a half-demon child with a natural power over the dead to the equation, and you come out with a rather high probability of it actually working for once.

Red Skull was almost surprised to see them approach him so soon after Clint had left, as it were. You couldn’t exactly tell with his face. He said, however, ‘Welcome, Ava, daughter of none. Rachel, daughter of Trigon.’

He knew. Of course he knew.

Then he laid his eyes on Steve and paused. His robes were flowing in the unfamiliar air of an alien planet. ‘Captain America. It has been a while.’

‘Schmidt,’ he said, coldly. Another dramatic pause. ‘I came to return the Stone, not to fight you.’

‘I know.’ He floated closer. ‘No one has ever done what you are about to do before.’

‘We keep our word.’ Steve opened the briefcase, where a single orange Stone glowed.

Rachel stepped closer to him, unwavering. She brought the gem into her hand with nothing but a thought. It danced around her palm like it always belonged there. Her glance fell on Red Skull. ‘But we will also need something in return.’

She didn’t ask his permission.

She closed her fingers around the Stone. Her heart was calm, no whirring darkness, no evil whispers. Just like with the Aether, she knew _exactly_ how to channel her powers and make the Stone _listen_.

It did.

It was only out for two minutes from a certain perspective; it was like it never left Vormir in the first place, like someone decided not to use it after all and demand the soul of their loved one back.

A favourite movie character counted, right?

It seemed to be enough for the Stone. Soul for soul. She gave it a part of hers.

It dissolved and left her hand empty. Under the cliff, a soul returned to a body.

 

‘What, what—’ Natasha touched her head. Her hair was sticky with blood, but there was no wound. Her eyes searched for answers on Sara and Cisco’s faces. ‘What’s just happened? I was _dead_.’ No answer. Then, ‘Clint, the Soul Stone—’

Sara helped her get up. ‘Everything’s fine. Thanos is dead. You _won_.’

‘Aren’t you,’ she furrowed her brow, ‘an actress, or something?’

‘We’re from a parallel universe, actually. Long story.’

Cisco did everything in his power not to stare or stutter or squeal in excitement and instead opened a breach. Natasha raised her eyebrows, still a little woozy. ‘Let’s go,’ he said.

The Stone sat in its place, satisfied.

 

Another breach opened behind Steve and Ava. Cisco gestured for them to step through.

‘So I suppose our mission here is done,’ Steve told the Stonekeeper with a smirk. ‘So long, Red Skull. Have fun with the eternity you wanted so much.’

His eyes bore into Rachel’s. She wielded the Stone without a sacrifice. She wasn’t _right_.

But he let them all go and contemplated Steve’s words, not knowing his eternity would end in four years.

 

* * *

 

From 2014 New York, Ava took them back to 2023.

It has not been five seconds since they left. It’s been eight. Portals could only be so precise.

The present Avengers gaped at Natasha, and at Steve holding his shield instead of Mjolnir. Clint got up and rushed to her first. ‘Nat, you’re really back,’ he breathed into their embrace and couldn’t quite still believe it.

‘I’m back.’

The others joined them and showered them with more hugs and chatter.

Rachel high-fived Cisco, and Sara pulled her girlfriend in for a kiss. It was done.

She wrote so in the chat and then walked over to Peter. She tapped his shoulder. ‘Hey, Peter.’

His limbs were suddenly around her back. ‘You did it! You saved Spider-Mum!’

Sara grinned. ‘Yeah, but you should thank Rachel for that,’ her eyes found the girl, talking to Tony and Carol with sparks in her eyes. Peter let go. ‘So, I wanted to ask—’

‘Will you guys stay for lunch? You _gotta_ tell us all about all this,’ he interrupted her. ‘Sorry, what did you want to ask about?’

She smiled. ‘Of course we’ll stay for lunch, right, Aves?’

‘Yeah, I don’t see why not.’

‘Awesome! Thanks, Miss Ava.’

‘And I wanted to ask if I could borrow _your_ phone for a sec.’

Peter pulled it out of his back pocket and handed it to her, a bit outdated StarkPhone. Phones tended to become outdated when you were in the Soulworld for five years. He didn’t mind at all; it was still more expensive than anything he’s ever owned. Having a billionaire for a father figure would do that.

Rachel and all her friends could imagine.

She took her phone as well and turned the comms on. ‘Gideon, FRIDAY, sync them up.’ 

 

* * *

  

Sara, Ava, Rachel, and Cisco—or, as they liked to call themselves, A-Force of Earth-1—hopped out of a breach at the Time Bureau car park at 13:09, after a proper shawarma lunch in 2023. They were only late by a day. It was _not_ due to busy multiverse traffic.

(The nine minutes might’ve been.)

The Waverider was still waiting for them there, but they didn’t find anyone on board. They found them lounging by the main entrance to the building, in the shade (it was an unusually hot day), waiting for them.

Kara all but yelled, ‘You gotta tell us _everything_!’

‘Let’s grab a coffee,’ Sara said. ‘Captain’s orders, ‘cause personally, I’m _really_ tired.’

 

* * *

  

On the other side, Steve passed his shield onto Sam Wilson and finally asked Bucky out.

Thor made Valkyrie the new Queen of Asgard and left to explore space with the Guardians.

Carol stayed for a while.

Tony and Pepper (and Peter) drove to their cabin. Morgan jumped into her dad’s arms before he could even properly get out of the car and buried her head in the crook of his shoulder.

‘I missed you, daddy.’

‘Missed you too, squirt. Let’s go home.’

 

 


	160. happy b-day wizard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's john's birthday, and the crossover isn't completely over!!! enjoy :)

**2019/05/10  
11:55 am**

 

**garebear:** it’s John’s birthday today and he says he hates bdays

**garebear:** but strictly between friends he’s lying so give my bf some love!!!!!

**trenchcoat:** I’m not lying, I hate birthdays

**trenchcoat:** It’s a reminder of my pathetic existence coming to earth and killing my mother

**rayofsunshine:** Aww don’t be so glum! We’re gonna bake you a cake, aren’t we?

**darhkling:** sure sure

**darhkling:** @gayforray

**gayforray:** did u say BDAY CAKE

**timemom:** Happy birthday, John.

**notkanye:** happy b-day wizard 😁

**trenchcoat:** Ta but you can keep your cake

**darhkling:** we’re gonna put alcohol in it

**trenchcoat:** My mind is changed

**lancelot:** perfect

**notkanye:** BUT HAVE WE RLY NOT TALKED FOR 2 WEEKS

**lancelot:** between the gala and parallel universes, ig not

**gayforray:** have u heard about Bruce 👀

**notkanye:** no??

**notadick:** no what’s going on

**gayforray:** u know how they asked us questions about being superheroes

**rayofsunshine:** Since we’re out now.

**notkanye:** yea

**lancelot:** they asked him about batman mostly as a joke (haha I know)

**lancelot:** he denied everything but it was way too obvious and it’s practically become a meme that he’s batman

**gayforray:** which he is

**lancelot:** and it’s a problem

**notadick:** bahahahhaa

**notadick:** ur not serious

**gayforray:** we are it’s hilarious

**notadick:** lmaooo if our bruce

**notkanye:** is he gonna do smth about it

**trickstergoddess:** well im not shapeshifting into him thats for sure

**lancelot:** ah the famous kara solution

**trickstergoddess:** im NOT doing it

**notkanye:** ok ok this is great

**notkanye:** give us more tea

**rayofsunshine:** We barely even started on the cake and Nora has flour on her face, it’s very cute.

**darhkling:** I’m not cute!!! everyone fears me!!!

**monalisa:** u can be cute _and_ terrifyign, u know

**darhkling:** 🔪🔪🔪

**rayofsunshine:** [ _image attached_ : monaisright.jpeg]

**monalisa:** ldnlsnfkf

**thebettertomaz:** I’m just glad there’s alcohol in the cake or I might be tempted

**radtomaz:** SAME

**darhkling:** we’ll make u something without it for after sundown, dw guys

**thebettertomaz:** thank

**notkanye:** ramadan’s already started, huh

**radtomaz:** yeah

**thebettertomaz:** our dragon lives a better life than us atm

**rebecca:** cause he’s with me

**radtomaz:** let’s not argue w that

**smartsnart:** question

**smartsnart:** how tf can you even tell it’s sundown on the ship

**thebettertomaz:** Gideon notifies us when the sun sets in DC

**timemom:** We run on Bureau time, so.

**smartsnart:** right

**monalisa:** tbh I admire zari, the one person besides mick who _always_ snacks, for hanging on

**thebettertomaz:** my love for food is strong but my faith is stronger

**thebettertomaz:** that being said I MISS FOOD

**radtomaz:** and no one asks how I’m doing

**monalisa:** ur not a snack king

**gayforray:** snack king fkjfkd

**thebettertomaz:** yes, I am snack queen and snack queen is me

**trickstergoddess:** does eating a pussy out count

**thebettertomaz:** CHARLIE

**trickstergoddess:** what, its a legitimate question innit

**radtomaz:** ……yeah that…ahem…counts

**trickstergoddess:** see, someones reasonable here

**notkanye:** fjfhfjdld

**trenchcoat:** Just when I thought I’d seen everything

**notkanye:** ok another topic change

**notkanye:** I HEARD U HAVE A GC W THE AVENGERS  & IM NOT IN IT

**notkanye:** HOW DARE

**radtomaz:** neither am i

**monalisa:** me too

**garebear:** me three

**rebecca:** me four but idc

**gayforray:**  😅

**darhkling:** wasn’t us

**lancelot:** sorry but it’s enough chaos, it has 70 ppl

**notadick:** but the point is NOT TELLING US GODDAMMIT

**rayofsunshine:** Sorry. We’re telling you now.

**notkanye:** so u saved them all

**lancelot:** yeah

**lancelot:** tbh it wasn’t so different from our regular missions

**notkanye:** u kidding me

**darhkling:** I’m still pissed u didn’t take the rest of us with u

**timemom:** It would’ve been too complicated.

**darhkling:** ik, but

**thebettertomaz:** look

**thebettertomaz:** there’s the chat now so u can talk to any of them

**thebettertomaz:** and Strange can portal here and teach u how to do it too

**rayofsunshine:** Like you wanted!

**darhkling:** I KNOW DKNFFFAD

**darhkling:** should I just ask him or

**gayforray:** yes go for it!

**gayforray:** after we’re done with the cake

**rebecca:** how’s it looking

**rayofsunshine:** It’s in the oven, we’re making frosting now.

**gayforray:** fabricating, mostly

**trenchcoat:** I appreciate the cake but please don’t be idiots and give me presents

**lancelot:** noted

**garebear:** material presents, u mean 👀

**trenchcoat:** Why yes, love

**rayofsunshine:** Do you wanna… watch something or have a group toast or something later?

**trenchcoat:** No

**trenchcoat:** To hell with you, honestly

**monalisa:** that’s not very nice,

**trenchcoat:** I’m not _nice_ , sunshine

**timemom:** Even after all this time?

**rebecca:** pfft he won’t change

**lancelot:** he’s already changed, right, johnny

**rayofsunshine:** It’s your first birthday on the ship, we have to do something.

**trenchcoat:** The cake is something

**trenchcoat:** But I guess a bloody drink wouldn’t hurt

**garebear:** nice!!!! 😁

**radtomaz:** see, we make a great team

**rayofsunshine:** Definitely!

**darhkling:** 2018 me would freak out about that

**thebettertomaz:** true enough

**lancelot:** we’ve all come a long way

**rebecca:** now can we move on

**darhkling:** to what

**gayforray:** oh yeah Bruce and Ray and me were asked to be on Jimmy Kimmel Live

**notkanye:** WTF

**monalisa:** wait WHAT

**monalisa:** no one told us????

**rayofsunshine:** We found out yesterday.

**gayforray:** it’s awesome!!!!!!

**darhkling:** <3

**darhkling:** my boys

**lancelot:** like, all together

**lancelot:** cuz that would be a disaster 😂

**gayforray:** HAHA NOOOO

**rayofsunshine:** Obviously.

**thebettertomaz:** omg

**radtomaz:** when

**gayforray:** two weeks

**timemom:** That’s fast.

**rayofsunshine:** Yeah…

**timemom:** But you agreed?

**gayforray:** obviously

**gayforray:** the cat’s out of the bag now so it doesn’t matter if we show up on national tv one more time hehe

**lancelot:** ok but what about bruce

**gayforray:** not our concern ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**radtomaz:** ~disaster~

**darhkling:** absolute

**lancelot:** _fuck_

 

* * *

 

**darhkling** _to_ **stephenwithaphd**

**darhkling:** hello, um, doctor strange?

**darhkling:** I’m Nora Darhk

**stephenwithaphd:** I know you, yes

**stephenwithaphd:** You’re a witch and are able to control the Time Stone, and you’d like my help with guiding your powers in case you have to face demons again

**darhkling:** you really are that, huh

**darhkling:** this is weird and probably stupid and you’re busy enough, but my friends thought I should ask…

**stephenwithaphd:** Nonsense, I’m never busy, reality bends to my will

**stephenwithaphd:** We can start tomorrow, I’ll bring you to Kamar-Taj

**darhkling:** really?

**darhkling:** Thank you

**stephenwithaphd:** What’s one more student to the Sorcerer Supreme

**darhkling:** ok true

**stephenwithaphd:** And besides, I’d like to take a look at that Stone of yours

**stephenwithaphd:** I never came into contact with one from a different universe

**darhkling:** interesting question 🤔

**stephenwithaphd:** But you have to understand it’s dangerous. I was like you, wanted to know everything despite everyone’s protests

**darhkling:** ok but u saved the world cause u did?

**darhkling:** and rly I have 20 yrs of experience with magic, so

**stephenwithaphd:** I know

**stephenwithaphd:** Washington D.C., 2019, was it?

**darhkling:** earth-1, yeah

**darhkling:** may 11

**stephenwithaphd:** Great, I’ll be there at 8

**darhkling:** in the morning???

**stephenwithaphd:** Yes, do you have somewhere better to be

**darhkling:** bed

**darhkling:** but ok I’ll be at the bureau,.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ik the time stone and the Time Stone are different things but let's pretend they're not and nora and ray's stone is as cool as strange's

**Author's Note:**

>  **please leave a comment & kudos <3** 
> 
> if you have prompts for the fic, hit me up! you can also find me on [tumblr](https://darhknora.tumblr.com)


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